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Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

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CHAPTER 9. THE BUDDHA IS YOUR EMPTY HEART”That’s impossible,” replies Rajiv.”Fifty or nothing!” says Freddy, firmly.So Rajiv consults the manager, who consults the owner, and then <strong>com</strong>es back and says, ”Okay,fifty.””No!” shouts Freddy. ”Twenty rupees!”Again, Rajiv consults the manager who asks the owner.”Okay, twenty,” says Rajiv, when he returns a few minutes later.”No! Five!” shouts Freddy.”Listen,” snaps Rajiv, getting irritated, ”just take the shoes and get out!””No!” shouts Freddy.”No?” asks Rajiv, in surprise, ”you don’t want the shoes?””No!” says Freddy. ”I want two pairs!”When a live sex show opens up in a small theater just outside the Vatican, Pope the Polack is furious.He gets together Cardinal Catsass, and a flock <strong>of</strong> bishops, and they go to watch the show to see ifit would be harmful for good Catholics to view it.Coming out <strong>of</strong> the theater an hour later, Pope the Polack and his crew all agree that it is a terrible,filthy show, and <strong>com</strong>pletely unsuitable as entertainment for Catholics.<strong>The</strong>y are marching back to the Vatican, when suddenly Pope the Polack stops in his tracks.”I have to go back!” he cries. ”I have forgotten my hat.””No you haven’t,” points out Cardinal Cats-ass, ”it is hanging in your lap!”Sean O’Reilly is driving his horse and cart into town one morning <strong>with</strong> a load <strong>of</strong> potatoes, when hehas a head-on collision <strong>with</strong> a truck.Sean makes a claim for damages against the trucking <strong>com</strong>pany, for injuries to himself, his horse andcart, his dog and his load <strong>of</strong> potatoes. <strong>The</strong> whole claim amounts to a considerable sum <strong>of</strong> money.But a few weeks later in the high court, when Sean is called to the witness stand, his case does notseem to be going too well.”Isn’t it true,” says Simon Sharkfin, the opposing lawyer, ”that while you were lying on the ground atthe scene <strong>of</strong> the accident, someone walked up to you and asked you how you were feeling, and youreplied, ‘I’ve never felt better in my life.’”<strong>Hyakujo</strong>: <strong>The</strong> <strong>Everest</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Zen</strong>, <strong>with</strong> Basho’s <strong>Haikus</strong> 129 Osho

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