Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho's Haikus - Oshorajneesh.com

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CHAPTER 8. WHAT WORDS CANNOT SAY...Bertrand Russell has written in his autobiography, ”I cannot understand the idea of Christianity thatsinners will suffer for eternity in Hell.” How many sins can you commit to deserve a punishment foreternity? Even if every moment, day and night, you commit this sin and that sin... What are thesins? – drinking a cup of tea, smoking a cigarette, falling in love with a dangerous woman, verynice looking... Never go for the looks, the reality is always different. Great philosophers have beenwriting about appearance and reality.Russell says, ”One day I counted how many sins I had committed, and I also counted the sins that Iwanted to commit but the opportunities did not allow me. On both I could get at least four and a halfyears of jail from a very strict judge, but eternity is too much. And they say God is compassionate!”All the great people of the world, creative in any direction, have been thrown in Hell. The stupidand idiotic saints who don’t know anything of creativity, who don’t know anything of meditation,whose whole art is how to torture themselves and others, these people are there, all sick andpsychologically mad, in Heaven. I have always suspected that God himself must have changed hisplace to Hell! Living with these idiots and not one...Strange people will drive anybody mad. You just think about the saints, what kinds of saints....I saw one saint who had not taken any position other than standing for twelve years. His legs hadbecome like elephant legs. His upper body had shrunk and become very small, and he was holdinga bamboo. To keep him entertained, his disciples would go on singing day and night around him. Iwas passing by the road. Somebody told me that here there was a great saint, so I went to see him.That man was torturing himself, and people were enjoying his torture.I have seen saints dying through will. That means not eating for ninety days. Only after ninety dayswill your flesh be used up. You will remain just a skeleton. And they are worshipped by thousandsof people.... These skeletons – their only quality is that they can torture themselves. There are fromdifferent parts of the world, different varieties.Heaven must be a circus. Nobody who is sane can survive there. And the fence is so ancient that itis broken almost everywhere. I have never heard about anybody trespassing over the ancient fencefrom the side of Hell to the side of Heaven. Nobody wants to go to Heaven. Just to see from theoutside, from the broken fence, is enough. So much stupidity is happening there. All the descriptionsof Heaven are so rotten, so ugly.So don’t be worried, Maneesha. Most probably the whole Buddha Auditorium will shoot directly, asa missile, towards Hell. Just cling to each other so nobody is left behind. And twelve years is not along time. I can keep the promise.Now, it is Anando’s time....Little Albert’s mother cannot bring herself to tell the little boy that his dog, Laddy, has just been runover by a car and killed.When Albert comes home from school she talks of other things for a few minutes, but finally, shesays, ”Albert, listen. Laddy has been run over and killed by an automobile.”Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho’s Haikus 118 Osho
CHAPTER 8. WHAT WORDS CANNOT SAY...”Oh!” says the boy, and goes out to play, whistling.At dinner, Little Albert asks, ”Hey, Mom, where is Laddy?””Darling,” says his mother, ”I told you this afternoon: Laddy has been killed by a car.”Suddenly, Albert bursts into tears.”But Albert,” cries his mother, ”when I told you this afternoon, it did not seem to bother you.””No,” sniffs Albert, ”it didn’t – because I thought you said Daddy!”Pope the Polack is giving High Mass in Saint Peter’s Cathedral in Rome. The mass is coming to anend, and the Polack pope is leading the procession out into Saint Peter’s Square to bless the crowd.Suddenly, as the cathedral clock strikes three, the big hand falls off the clock, sails through the air,and lands on the pope’s head with a resounding crack!Pope the Polack falls senseless to the ground, and is rushed to the hospital suffering fromconcussion.The next morning, throughout the world anxious Catholics wait to buy their morning newspapers tofind out the latest news.The Vatican News is first off the press, and carries the banner headline: POPE’S HEAD X-RAYEDREVEALS NOTHING!Max Muldoon is walking in the Oregon hills, when it begins to snow and he goes to a nearby ranchhouse for shelter. There he meets Ed, the rancher, his pretty young wife and her daughter.”You can stay here the night,” says Ed, ”but we have only got one bed. So we will have to sleep nextto each other, head to toe.”And I am warning you,” continues Ed, ”no funny business!” Then he waves a big six shooter at Max,and puts it under his pillow and falls asleep.In the middle of the night, the daughter, who is lying next to Max, slides her hand up his leg andbegins to fondle him.Max points nervously to where the gun is hidden under Ed’s pillow.”Don’t worry,” whispers the daughter, ”it is not loaded,” and she pulls Max onto her.Later on, Ed’s wife, who has been watching this, points at the gun, and says softly, ”It is not loaded!”And then she climbs over on top of Max.Ed snores on peacefully.Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen, with Basho’s Haikus 119 Osho
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