The Long and Storied Life of Jose Montoya

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The Long and Storied Life of Jose Montoya 92Even the red parrot appeared to be cocking an eyebrow in the direction of the metaphor at thispoint, and Grayley was beside himself with laughter, but still Jose sat transfixed until, with a floodingsense of relief, he heard Papa pronounce his actual blessing on the actual marriage of his daughter toJose. His shoulders relaxed, which briefly felt good until Eudora came flying at him full-bore throughthe kitchen door and leaped into his lap with such force that Jose’s wingback chair tilted precariouslyback on two feet.If anyone in the house smelled roses at that moment, no one mentioned it.If Jose’s and Eudora’s most important wedding stipulation was that it take place soon, beforethe baby showed, the most important stipulation made by Eudora’s mother and father was that Jose be aproperly baptized Christian before the wedding and not just some rogue heathen Catholic. Rockvillewas a very small town, after all, and people took very seriously the Biblical injunction to not be yokedtogether with an unbeliever; and even if Catholics were not quite unbelievers, their idol worship alonecertainly condemned them to hell. When coupled with the fact that Rockville’s only actual priorexperience with Catholics had been the burly Baltimore & Ohio railroad crew that laid the rails thirtyyears ago, and that the swagger and swearing of that crew were permanently singed into the memory ofmost of the village’s inhabitants, Jose’s conversion to a true believer – whether forced, not forced, orsimply near-forced – was a foregone conclusion.Fortunately the arrival of the pair in Rockville had been on a Saturday, which meant that after asleepless night spent so close to Eudora that he was sure he could smell her – even if he had beenbedded down in the wash room, a house and a loft away -- it was Jose’s great good fortune to findhimself and his wild hair, still unbowed and unbroken, standing and shuffling down the aisle to thefront of the First Church of Christ Rockville the next day as the congregation mournfully worked itsway through verses one and three of “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.”
The Long and Storied Life of Jose Montoya 93Jose found the idea that these people were sad over the dry Christ of the North being friendlysomewhat difficult to fathom, and decided to put it out of his mind and concentrate instead on the slowprocessional steps he was taking down the aisle in time to this doleful music of the already-saved. Thecongregation, for its part, had never actually seen anyone answer a call to redemption by two-steppingto the altar, but forged ahead with a renewed determination once Jose’s intention to be saved was clearto them.Reverend Kent was nearly as surprised as his congregation that someone had answered his altarcall. Getting saved in Rockville was more a matter of fact than a statement of faith; your parents wentto church, then you went to church, and somewhere along the line, when the fear of hell and theimminent return of a traveling-show Jesus coming back to town became too terrifying for you, you gotbaptized and were saved, amen. It was such a mundane course of affairs that Reverend Kent hadsecretly begun harboring doubts about how much these near-automatic saves were adding to his Crownof Glory, and so Jose’s approach up the aisle was such a welcome novelty that as far as the Reverendwas concerned it might just as well have been accompanied by choirs of harp-toting angels and randombeams of tangibly golden light.Jose finally reached the head of the long aisle, and after vigorous hand-pumping andbackslapping from the Reverend was turned to face the congregation as “What a Friend We Have inJesus” rattled to its inexorable conclusion. Everyone was now wearing benevolent smiles as they gazedat Jose. Eudora’s smile was the best and brightest among them, and Jose was so afraid that he wouldbecome lost if he stared too long at her delicious mouth that he started forcing his gaze to rapidly swingback and forth from Mama to Papa to Eudora and then back again. In this semi-hypnotic condition itwas only distantly that he heard the voice of Reverend Kent running through Bible verses and askingquestions, with his own equally-distant voice answering them.At last the spell was broken by more vigorous hand-pumping from the Reverend as he guided
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