Islamic Marriage Handbook.pdf - Islamic Mobility

C. Main Objective of the bookThe commencement of a new life takes place through marriage. If Islamicrules are known and followed, the child born will be chaste.Insha Allah our progeny can then be capable of being the Imam's (a.s.)followers.This is the main objective of the book.1.• · NoteIslamic Marriage is of two types; permanent and temporary (Muta'). Sincethis book was compiled mostly for those entering into a permanent alliance, thetopic of Muta' has not been covered.6

Part 2Importance of marriage in Islam7

The Holy Quran says,And marry those among you who are single and those who are fitamong your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allahwill make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving,Knowing.[2]The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry…)The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatoryor highly recommended.[3] According to scholars, though marriageis a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is achance of falling into sin.The Prophet says, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved inthe sight of Allah than through marriage.” [4]On another occasion the Prophet (s.a.) said,“The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get marriedand have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation arethose who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives asbachelors.” [5]Imam 'Ali (a.s.) exhorts, “Marry, because marriage is the tradition ofthe Prophet.” The Prophet (s.a.) also said, ”Whosoever likes to follow mytradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition.” [6]8

A. Importance of sex in marriageIn Islam, marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship betweenhusband and wife, nor is it solely for procreation. The Islamic term formarriage,“nikah” literally means sexual intercourse.3So why has Islam provided extensive rules and regulation regardingsex? This was because Islam has fully understood that sexual instinctscannot and must not be repressed. They can only be regulated for thewell being of human beings in this life and for their success in thehereafter.Sex in married life has been openly recommended in Qur'an, 'Whenthey [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], yougo into them as Allah has commanded.” [7]9

B. Fulfillment of Sexual UrgeThe Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouragedtheir followers to marry and to fulfill their sexual urges in lawful ways ascan be seen from the following: The Prophet (s.a.) said, “O you youngmen! I recommend marriage to you.” [8]Imam Reza (a.s.) said, “Three things are from the traditions of the messengersof God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and visitingone's wife.” [9]10

C. Celibacy and Monasticism is ForbiddenIslamic is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. 'Uthman binMaz'un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came tothe Prophet and complained, “O Messenger of God! 'Uthman fasts duringthe day and stands for prayers during the night.” In other words, shemeant to say that her husband was avoiding sexual relations during thenight as well as the day. The Prophet was angered. He did not even waitto put on his slippers. He went to 'Uthman's house and found him praying.When 'Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet,he said, “O 'Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, ratherHe sent me with a simple and straight [Shariah]. I fast, pray and alsohave intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition,then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions.” [10]11

D. Beneficial Effects of a Married LifeVarious studies prove that married people remain healthier, physicallyand mentally. Islam, has always maintained that marriage is beneficialfor us in many ways.Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection.The Prophet (s.a.) said, “One who marries, has already guarded half ofhis religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” [11] Howtrue! A person who fulfills his sexual urges lawfully would rarely be distractedin spiritual pursuits.12

E. Marriage enhances the value of prayersThe Prophet (s.a.) said, “Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married personare better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person.” [12]A woman came to the Prophet (s.a.) and said that she had triedeverything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditationto pay any attention to her.The Prophet (s.a.) told her to inform her husband about the reward ofsexual intercourse which he described as follows: “When a man approacheshis wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment inAllah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. Whenhe has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fallseason]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins.”[13]13

F. Marriage increases SustenanceThe Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) remarked, “Give spouses to your single ones,because Allah makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadowof marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity(human values).” [14]Notes:[2] Surah Nur 24: 32[3] Marriage and Morals in Islam, Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi[4] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 3[5] Mustadrakul Wasael, Muhaddith Noori, vol. 2, p. 531 quoted in AGift for the Youth, Shabeeb Rizvi[6] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 3-4, 6[7] Surah Baqarah 2:222[8] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 25[9] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 4[10] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 10[11] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 5[12] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 7[13] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 74[14] Nawadir al Rawandi, p. 3614

Part 3When Must we Marry?15

The proper time and age of marrying is when the individual reachessexual as well as mental maturity. Mental maturity may mean the capabilityof establishing a cordial family life and the ability to fulfill rights offamily members.The need of a spouse and family is a natural and instinctive needwhich Allah through His Wisdom has placed in human beings and isawakened at its particular time and season, and makes its demand. If it isanswered on time and its requirement fulfilled, it traverses its naturalcourse and makes the person perfect. If it is delayed or answered in anincorrect and unnatural mode, it deviates from its natural course, and insurgesand rebels, and not only becomes corrupt itself, but also corruptsthe man.16

Who is eligible to marry?For man to become eligible for taking a woman's hand in marriage, Islamhas several recommendations. According to Islamic laws, when a boy attainsthe age of fifteen, or becomes sexually potent, he is baligh, and hasattained puberty. But this is not enough for entering into a contract ofmarriage.Apart from the laws related to puberty, there is a concept of Rushd[15]which can be translated as 'capability of a sensible conduct' or maturity.A husband has to be Rashid and a wife Rashidah; so that the responsibilitiesof married life are sensibly discharged.Books of Islamic law may be referred to for exact details on physicaland mental maturity.17

Recommendation for Early MarriageIslam highly recommends an early marriage. Even those who feel theywould not be able to bear the expenses of family are urged to reposefaith in Allah, as He is the Giver of Sustenance (Rizq), and go for an earlymarriage.Notes:[15] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, AnsariyanPublication, p. 3418

Part 4Selection of Spouse19

Now that we have seen how much importance Islam has accorded tomarriage and marital life you would perhaps ask, “How do we select aspouse? What are the guidelines provided by Islam in this regard? Dowe look for some particular characteristics or just try to get the best fromthe worldly point of view?”Are Pre-Marital contacts Necessary?Ali Akber Mazaheri writes:“The notion that a man and a woman must 'know' each other beforethey decide to marry, so that they may then be able to live happily togetheris an illusion. Had there been any element of truth and validity inthis, the divorce and separation rates in societies which practice it wouldnot have shown a steady rise. Similarly, the marriages which take placewithout such pre-marital contacts would not have been known to lasthappily.”[16]The Shariah permits the intended spouses to see each other for thepurpose of selection and also permits asking and giving opinions ifasked (without it being considered as gheebat under certain conditions.)We should never resort to deceive the opposite party or conceal a defectduring the selection process. Such things can have serious ramificationsif exposed after marriageThe school of Ahle-Bait (a.s.) has not left us to follow our whims andfancies. We have been taught the best method of selecting a suitablespouse. The most important criterion is piety or religiousness.20

A. ReligiousnessThe author of Youth and Spouse Selection says, “The person who doesnot have religion, does not have anything.”[17]When a man came to the Prophet (s.a.) to seek guidance for selecting aspouse. He (s.a.w.s.) said, “It is binding upon you to have a religiousspouse.” [18]Knowing the human weakness for beauty and wealth, the Messengerof Allah (s.a.w.s.) has forewarned, “A man who marries a woman for thesake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his own condition, and one whomarries her (only) for her beauty, will find in her (things) which he dislikes(unpleasing manners) and Allah will gather up all these things forone who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness).” [19]21

B. Good NatureThe next important criterion is good nature.Imam Reza (a.s.) wrote in reply to a person who had asked him if itwas advisable to marry his daughter to a person known for his ill nature,“If he is ill-natured (bad tempered), don't marry your daughter to him.”[20The same will apply where the bride-to-be lacks a good nature. Such awoman, though she may be beautiful and rich, would make the life ofher husband miserable. She can never be patient in the difficulties thatarise in married life.22

C. CompatibilityThe Prophet (s.a.) gave no recognition to class distinction, but in marriage,he stressed upon compatibility. The marrying partners must beKufw of each other, so that there are no unnecessary misgivingslater.[21] It is better for a religious woman who is committed to laws andprinciples to marry a man like herself.A man questioned the Prophet of Islam (s.a.w.s.), “Whom must wemarry?”He replied, “The suitable (matches).”“Who are the suitable matches?”The Prophet (s.a.) responded, “Some of the faithfuls are match for others.”[22]Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said, “An intelligent and wise woman must not bematched except with a sage and wise man.” [23]23

D. Decent FamilyThe Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) has given great emphasis on taking intoconsideration a good family background when we intend to marry.He said, “Marry in the lap of a decent family, since the semen and thegenes have effect.” [24]The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) also said, “Look very carefully andminutely as to where you are placing your child because genes andhereditary qualities are transferred in a concealed and unintentional wayand have their effect.” [25]24

E. ReasonThe Commander of the Faithful, 'Ali (a.s.) strongly forbade marrying afoolish and insane person. “Avoid marrying a stupid woman, since hercompany is a woe (distress) and her children too get wasted.” [26]25

F. Physical and Mental HealthThough religiousness and piety are most important, it does not meanthat we totally disregard the physical appearance and beauty of the prospectivespouse.The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says, “When one intends to marry a woman,he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face(beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women).” [27]26

G. Whom can you Marry?“Islamic law has placed certain restrictions on the choice of your spousedepending upon blood relationships and religious affiliations.” MaulanaSayyid Muhammad Rizvi has summarized these laws in a beautiful way:27

a. Restrictions based on RelationshipThere are certain blood relations which are considered haraam for you asfar as marriage is concerned. (As a general rule, anyone who isyour mahram is forbidden to you for marriage.) The list of such relativesis given in the Qur'an as follows:For Man: mother, daughter, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, niece, fostermother,foster-sister, mother-in-law, step-daughter, daughter-in-law, allmarried women, sister-in-law (as a 2nd wife) (See the Qur'an, ch. 4, verse23-24)For Woman: father, son, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, nephew,foster-mother's husband, foster-brother, father-in-law, stepson, son-inlaw.28

. Restrictions based on ReligionA Shi'ah Muslim man can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim woman and a non-Shi'ah Muslim woman. However, if there is danger of being misled, thenit isharaam.He can also marry a Jewish or Christian woman in mut'a only. But hecannot marry a woman of any other faith.A Shi'ah Muslim woman can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man or a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there isdanger of being misled, then it is haraam. But she cannot marry a non-Muslim man.329

C. Cousin MarriagesThough Shariah does not forbid marriage between first cousins, butthere are opinions advocating against them mainly due to a probable riskof the offspring inheriting genetic defects/diseases.Notes:[16] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akber Mazaheri[17] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, AnsariyanPublication[18] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 30[19] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 31[20] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, p. 151[21] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, p. 34[22] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, p. 175[23] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, p. 178[24] Makaremul Akhlaq[25] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, p. 154[26] Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 56[27] Beharul Anwaar, Vol. 103, p. 23730

Part 5The Marriage Ceremony31

Some relevant points to be noted are:1. Engagement or Mangni does not qualify the future spouses to go outtogether, even if the parents consent. Man and woman become permissiblefor each other only after the performance of Nikah.32

2. DowryThe unislamic system of demanding and accepting dowry must beavoided at all costs. Shariah does not make any expense incumbent onthe bride/bride's parents. Even the marriage expenses, it is recommendedare to be borne by the bridegroom.However, the bride can bring whatever she wants of her free will, andit will always belong to her.33

3. Other Unislamic CustomsMany other unislamic customs have crept into the marriage ceremony ofsome Muslims. These customs are either borrowed from non-Muslimcultures or continue because they are established in past generations.One must avoid them if they are against the Shariah, even if some peopleare displeased. Other customs like the breaking of coconut etc. also donot feature among the Islamic rituals. All actions, customs etc. whichshow disrespect to Islam or weaken the importance of Islam have to beavoided.34

4. Haraam ActsSome of the rituals in marriage ceremonies are absolutely haraam like theplaying of music. It is also haram for ladies to go for mixed gatheringswithout proper hijab. Such things invite divine wrath and take away theblessings of this auspicious occasion.In the Islamic Law, marriage is an 'aqd, a contract. The components ofthis contract are as follows:35

A. ProposalIn Islam the process of proposal by a man to a woman for her hand inmarriage, or for that matter, to her family, is encouraged. Islam considersthis natural, and recommends it as an act of respectability and dignityfor women.36

B. MahrAnd the intending husband is asked to offer a Mahr to the bride.The Quran says, And give women their Mahr as a free gift, but if theyof themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it withenjoyment and with wholesome result. [28]The following points are worthy of consideration:• Mahr must be agreed upon by the marrying partners themselves,not by parents.• Mahr is her right, to which her husband remains indebted.• It is a free gift and not her price.The Mahr may be cash, kind or non-material (like training or teachingsomething). It can be paid up front or can be in form of promise to payupon demands decided prior to the solemnization of marriage.3 Moajjal(immediate), Muwajjal and Indat-talab (on demand).However, it is much recommended to pay it before or at the time ofNikah itself.37

C. The Nikah CeremonyAccording to Shariah, the wife-to-be says, 'An Kah'tu nafsaka a'lalmah'ril ma'loom'“I have given away myself in Nikah to you, on the agreed Mahr.”Immediately, the man (bridegroom) says, 'Qabiltun Nikaha'.“I have accepted the Nikah.”With these pronouncements, they become husband and wife.If the marrying partners are not able to recite the formula in Arabic,one or two persons or priests[29] are appointed and authorized to officiate.One who represents the bride would first seek her explicit consent toofficiate on her behalf, and so would the other who acts on behalf of thegroom. Naturally, there would be a slight variation in the pronouncements,because the persons reciting them are appointees. A person whorepresents the bride would initiate by saying, “Ankah'tu muwakkilatimuwakkilaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom.”“I give away in Nikah the woman who has thus appointed and authorizedme, to the man who has authorized you, on an agreed Mahr.”The groom's representative would respond, “Qabiltunnikaahalimuwakkili a'lal mah'ril ma'loom.”“I accept the Nikah on behalf of the one who has appointed me, on theagreed Mahr.”It is mustahab to recite a brief discourse or Khutba beforethe Nikahformula is enunciated. In this Khutba, Allah is praised for HisWisdom in regulating the lawful process of procreation, and then the traditionsfrom the Prophet (s.a.) are also recited.38

D. Time of Marriage CeremonyThough basically marriage is allowed at all times, there are some dayson which marriage is not recommended; some of these are basedon ahadithand some on cultural, historical reasons.Generally, we can categorize these days into three: (a) There aresomeahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have amarriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation ofScorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during thelast two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. (b)There are certain days of the Islamic calendar which have become associatedwith the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th ofMuharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the dayof the Prophet's death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemoratedby the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent,religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on suchdays.3The Shia Ithna Ashari (Twelver Shias), especially in India andPakistan, rarely perform marriage ceremony between the 1 st of Muharramand the 8 th of Rabi al-Awwal as this period includes the mourningdays of Muharram culminating in the martyrdom of Imam Askari (a.s.).The 9 th Rabi al-Awwal is celebrated as Eid-e-Zahra.If there is a need, however, Nikah, can be performed at any time.39

E. Permission of the Bride-to-be/FatherThe girl's consent is necessary and has to be taken by her representative,directly.In case of a virgin/spinster the father's or the grandfather's permissionis also necessary. However if the permission is unreasonably withheldunder some conditions or the girl has no father/paternal grandfather it isnot necessary.However, a woman who is not a virgin, does not require any permissionin case of remarriage.40

F. Valima (Dinner)Valima is highly recommended on the groom. The relatives, neighboursand friends must be invited for Valima. However, lavish spending is notadvisable especially when the same money can be used effectively by thecouple.Notes:[28] Surah Nisa 4:4[29] Aalim, Maulana or those who are conversant with the correctNikah procedure and proper Arabic pronunciation.41

Part 6The Wedding Night42

It is highly recommended that the wedding should take place at night.The hadith says, “Take the bride to her new home during the night.” [30]When the bride enters the room, the groom is recommended to takeoff her shoes and wash her feet (in a washbowl) and then sprinkle thewater around the room.Then he should perform wuzu and pray two rak'at sunnat prayer andthen recite the following du'a:Allahummar zuqni ilfahaa wa wuddaha wa riz”aaha bi; warz”ini biha,wa-ajma' baynana bi ah'sane ijtimaa'in wa anasi i-tilafin; fa innakatuh'ibbul h'alaala wa tukrihul h'araam.O Allah! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me;and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form ofa union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislikeunlawful things.Then he should ask the bride to do wuzu and pray two rak'at sunnatprayer.When they are ready to go to bed, the groom should put his hand onthe bride's forehead and pray the following du'a while facing the qiblah.Allahumma bi amaanatika akhadhtuha wa bi kalimaatika istah'laltuha.Fa in qaz”ayta li minha waladan, faj-'alhu mubaarakantaqiyyan min Shi'ati Aal-i Muh'ammad (s'al-lal-laahu a'layhi wa aalihiwa sallam) wa laa taj-'al lish Shayt'aani fihi shirkan wa laa naseeba.O Allah! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful formyself by Your words. Therefore, if You have decreed for me a childfrom her, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followersof the Family of Muhammad [peace be upon him and them]; and donot let Satan have any part in him/her.[31]Is it necessary to have sexual intercourse on the very first night afterthe wedding or can it be delayed? As far as the Shariah is concerned, it isneither obligatory nor forbidden to have sex on the first night. It is aprivate decision between the newly wed couple; it has nothing to dowith others.Notes:[30] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 62[31] Al-’Urwah. p. 624.43

Part 7Days and Times for Sex44

A. When is Sex Forbidden?Islam has forbidden sexual intercourse during menstruation.The Qur'an says: They ask you about menstruation. Say:“Menstruation is a discomfort (for women). Do not establish sexual relationswith them during the menses and do not approach them(sexually) until the blood stops. Then when they have cleansed themselves,you go into them as Allah has commanded you.” 7According to the Shariah, the duration of the monthly period isbetween three to ten days. If the bleeding was for less than three days, itis not menstruation; if it is for more than ten days, then it is menstruationfor the regular number of days and istehadha for the rest of the bleedingduring which sex is permitted.The prohibition of sex during the periods is limited strictly to sexualintercourse; other intimate contact (with the exception of the vagina andanus) is allowed. However, it is better not to play with her body betweenthe navel and the knees.If a person who is engaged in sexual intercourse with his wife discoversthat her period has begun, then he should immediately withdrawfrom her.It is clear from the verse mentioned above (until the blood stops) thatonce the blood has stopped, intercourse becomes lawful even if the womanhas not performed the major ritual ablution (ghusl). But mujtahidssay that it is better to refrain from intercourse till she performs the ghuslor, at least, washes her private parts.[32]Sexual intercourse is also not allowed during the post-natal bleedingcalled nifas (maximum 10 days), during daytime in the monthof Ramadhan, and when a person is in ihram during the pilgrimage toMecca. At all other times, sexual intercourse is allowed.Times when Sexual Intercourse is makruh:i. During frightful natural occurrences, e.g., eclipse, hurricane,earthquake;ii. From sunset till maghrib;ii. From dawn till sunrise;iii. The last three nights of lunar months;iv. Eve of the 15th of every lunar month;v. Eve of 10th Zil-hijjah;vii. After becoming junub.45

B. Recommended Days and Times for SexWe have certain ahadith which say that it is better to have sexual intercourseat these times:i. Sunday night;ii. Monday night;iii. Wednesday night;iv. Thursday noon;v. Thursday night;vi. Friday evening;vii. Whenever the wife wants to have sex.46

C. When is it Obligatory to have Sex?It is wajib on man to have sex with his wife at least once in every fourmonths; this is considered as one of the conjugal rights of the wife. Thisobligation stays in force unless there is a valid excuse or the wife waivesher right.Notes:[32] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 1, p. 57647

Part 8Sexual Techniques48

There are no particular rules and laws either in foreplay or in intercourse.The only laws and rules are the ones reached by the lovers bymutual and often unspoken understanding. Whatever is pleasing andsatisfying to both the husband and the wife is right and proper; andwhatever is mutually displeasing is wrong. The only limitation to thisgeneral rule would be any Shariah rule which goes against the wishes ofthe husband or the wife.49

A. Foreplay is Highly RecommendedIslam emphasizes on foreplay. Imam 'Ali says, “When you intend tohave sex with your wife, do not rush because the woman (also) hasneeds (which should be fulfilled).” [33]Sex without foreplay has been equated to cruelty. The Prophetsaid, “Three people are cruel: …a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay.”33Another hadith equates sex without foreplay to animal behavior:“When anyone of you has sex with his wife, then he should not go to herlike birds; instead he should be slow and delaying.” [34]As for the role of a woman in sexual foreplay, the Imams have praiseda wife who discards shyness when she is with her husband. ImamMuhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) says, “The best woman among you is the onewho discards the armor of shyness when she undresses for her husband,and puts on the armor of shyness when she dresses up again.” [35] Afterall, modesty and chastity in public is the hallmark of a Muslim lady.These sayings clearly show that the husband and the wife should feelcompletely free when they are engaged in mutual stimulation which isknown as foreplay. There is nothing wrong, according to Islam, for a womanto be active and responsive during sex. As for the Islamic Shariah,all the mujtahids are unanimous in saying that the act of sexual foreplayin itself is mustahab (recommended). Likewise, it is recommended not torush into sexual intercourse.[36] The operative word is mutual pleasureand satisfaction.50

B. Techniques of ForeplayAs far as the methods of mutual stimulation in foreplay are concerned,the Shariah allows the husband and the wife to see, kiss, touch, smelland stimulate any part of each other's body. Therefore, oral sex, as it isknown, is allowed. Imam Musa al-Kazim (a.s.) was once asked, “Can aperson kiss his wife's vagina?” The Imam said, “No problem.” [37]The only restriction is that no foreign object should be used. The restrictionon the use of foreign objects is based on the following hadith.'Ubaydullah bin Zurarah says that he had an old neighbour who owneda young slave-girl. Because of his old age, he could not fully satisfy theyoung slave-girl during sexual intercourse. She would therefore ask himto place his fingers in her vagina as she liked it. The old man compliedwith her wishes even though he did not like this idea. So he requested'Ubaydullah to ask Imam 'Ali ar-Reza (a.s.) about it. When 'Ubaydullahasked the Imam about it, the Imam said,“There is no problem as long as heuses any part of his own body upon her, but he should not use anything otherthan his body on her.” 37Though masturbation (i.e., self-stimulation of one's own sexual organtill emission of semen or orgasm) is not allowed, in the case of marriedpersons, there is no problem if the wife stimulates her husband's penistill the emission of semen or the husband stimulates his wife's vagina tillorgasm. This is allowed because it does not come under “self-stimulation;”it is stimulation by a lawful partner.51

C. Sexual IntercourseIs there any particular position for sexual intercourse which is forbiddenin Islam? No! As far as the basic coital positions are concerned, there areno restrictions. The term 'basic coital positions' denotes the positionsknown as the man above, face to face, woman above face to face; side position,face to face; rear-entry position in which the husband penetratesthe vagina from the rear. Actually, the Shariah has left it on the husbandand the wife to explore and experiment as they wish.However, it is makruh to adopt a standing position, or to face the qiblahor keep it on the backside during the intercourse. It is advisable to refrainfrom the acrobatic positions given by some sexologists of the Eastand the West which might even cause physical harm. Remember, the basicrule is mutual pleasure and flexibility. If one partner does not like aparticular position, then the other should yield to his or her feelings.It is highly emphasized that at the commencement of intercourse thepartners should recite Bismillaahir Rah'maanir Rah'eem (In the name of Allahthe Beneficent, the Merciful).52

D. Anal IntercourseThe opinions of our mujtahids vary on the permissibility of anal intercourse.The majority of the Shi'ah mujtahids have derived two conclusions:(1) that anal intercourse is not haraam but strongly disliked(karahatan shadidah) provided the wife agrees to it. (2) and if she does notagree to it, then all mujtahids say that it is precautionarily wajib to refrainfrom it.However, during the last decade of his life, Ayatullah al-Khu'i departedfrom the majority view and gave the ruling that it was precautionarilywajib to abstain from anal intercourse no matter whether the wifeagrees to it or not.[38]Maulana Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi says, “I would strongly adviseagainst anal intercourse,” and quotes the saying of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiqand Imam 'Ali ar-Reza (a.s.) about anal intercourse: ”Woman is a meansof your pleasure, therefore do not harm her.” [39]53

E. HygieneAfter the intercourse the partners may first wipe their genitals with cleanpieces of cloth. It is recommended that the same cloth/towel must not beused by both of them.Notes:[33] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 40[34] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 82[35] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 14-15[36] Al-’Urwah, p. 625[37] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 77[38] al-Khu’i, Minhaju ‘s-Salihiyn, vol. 1 (Beirut: 22nd edition) p. 64[39] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 101-10254

Part 9Dua for Pregnancy55

Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has taught the following dua:Transliteration:Allaahumma laa tadharni fardanw wa anta khairul waaretheenwah'eedanw wah'sheeyan fayaqs'uroo a'n tafakkori bal habli a'afiyatas'idqin dhokooranw wa onaathan aanaso behim minal wah'shate waaskuno ilaihim minal wah'date wa ashkoroka I'nda tamaame ne'matinyaa wahhaabo yaa a'zeemo yaa mo-a'z'z'amo thumma a'at'eni fee kullea'afiyatin shukran h'atta tabloghani minha riz”waanoka fee s'idqilh'adeethe adaaail amaanate wa waqaaain bil 'ahdeTranslation: O Allah! Do not keep me solitary though You are the bestof Inheritors. I am alone and terrified of loneliness. This worry has reducedmy thankfulness to You. So bestow on me true forgiveness andgive me female and male children so that by their company I can curemy terror of loneliness. By which my loneliness is cured. So that on thecompletion of this bounty I can thank You. O the greatest Giver, O theGreatest, O the Bestower of greatness, after this bestow me with tawfeeqthat I thank You for every kindness. Till I can achieve Your kindness bythankfulness, by speaking the truth, by returning trusts and by fulfillingoaths.[40]Notes:[40] Tahzeebul Islam, p.14756

Part 10Contraceptives and Abortion57

According to the Shi'ah fiqh, family planning as a private measure tospace or regulate the family size for health or economic reasons is permissible.Neither is there any Qur'anic verse or hadith against birth control,nor is it wajib to have children in marriage.58

A. THE CONTRACEPTIVE METHODSLet us examine some of the most commonly used contraceptive methodsand determine whether they are permissible in Islam or not. It must bementioned that we are studying the permissibility of these methods fromthe Shariah point of view only. For the medical opinion about the reliabilityor any side-effects of these methods, the reader must consult his orher physician. Further each individual needs to check additional conditionswhich may apply as per his Marja'a.59

1. Oral ContraceptivesBirth control pills prevent conception by inhibiting ovulation. Since allsuch pills inhibit ovulation, there is absolutely no problem in using them.However, the individual must consult the physician about possible sideeffects.The pills like the 'morning-after' and RU486 may be taken after the intercourseBUT not after feeling or knowing that pregnancy has alreadyoccurred.60

2. Depo-ProveraDepo-Provera works exactly like the pills, but instead of taking it orallyit is injected once every three months. This and other similar contraceptivemethods by injection are also permissible.61

3. Intrauterine Devices (IUD)IUDs are plastic or metal objects, in a variety of shapes, that are implantedinside the uterus. Since the shari' pregnancy begins at implantation,there is no problem in using IUD as a birth control device.62

4. Barrier DevicesAll barrier devices prevent the sperm from entering the uterus. This isdone by sheathing the penis with a condom, or by covering the cervixwith a diaphragm, cervical cap, or vaginal sponge. The use of spermicidalsubstances which kill the sperm before reaching the ovum is also abarrier device. There is absolutely no problem in using these contraceptiveseither.63

5. Abstinence During Fertile PeriodThere are three basic procedures to predict ovulation so that sexual intercoursecan be avoided during the approximately six days of a woman'smost fertile monthly phase. These three methods are as follows:(a) Ovulation Method: A woman learns to recognize the fertile time bychecking the difference in the constitution of the cervical mucus discharge.The cervical mucus discharge signals the highly fertile period;and thus avoiding sex during the fertile days prevents pregnancy.• Rhythm Method: A method similar to the first, but it depends onobserving the monthly cycles for a whole year to determine thefertile days.c: Temperature: In this method, besides keeping a calendar record ofher cycle, a woman also takes her temperature daily to detect ovulation.She can know her ovulation whenever her basal body temperatureincreases.64

6. Withdrawal (Coitus Interruptus)Coitus interruptus means withdrawing the penis just before ejaculation.This was the most common method of birth control before the inventionof modern devices.Muhammad bin Muslim and 'Abdur Rahman bin Abi 'Abdillah Maymunasked Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) about withdrawal. The Imam said,“It is up to the man; he may spill it wherever he wants.” [41]Based on this hadith, the majority of our mujtahids believe that coitusinterruptus is allowed but makruh without the wife's consent.[42]All methods mentioned above do not involve surgical operation andthey are also reversible. A woman (or man) using these methods can stopusing them at anytime in order to have a child.65

7. SterilizationSterilization involves surgical operation.Sterilization in men, known as vasectomy, means the severing orblocking of the tube in the male reproductive tract. This tube or ductpasses sperm from the testes to the prostate and other reproductiveorgans.Sterilization in women, known as tubal ligation, involves the blockingor severing of the fallopian tubes which transport the ovum.The permissibility of sterilization depends on whether or not it isreversible.66

8. A Woman can Practice Birth ControlThe wife has full right to the use of contraceptives even without the approvalof her husband.[43] However, she should not use a method whichmay come in the way of her husband's conjugal rights. For example, shecannot force him to use condom or practice coitus interruptus. This ruleis based upon the principle that the extent of the husband's conjugalrights over his wife is just that she should be sexually available, responsive,and cooperative. This right does not extend to that of bearing childrenfor him. Bearing children or not is a personal decision of the woman;and therefore, she may use contraceptives provided they do notcome in the way of her husband's conjugal rights.67

B. ABORTIONIslam's approach to the issue of birth control and abortion is very balanced.It allows women to prevent pregnancy but forbids them to terminateit. Abortion after the implantation of the fertilized ovum in thewomb is absolutely forbidden and is considered a crime against the lawof God, and the fetus.Notes:[41] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 105[42] Sharh Lum’a, vol. 2, p. 28; al-’Urwah, p. 628; Minhaj, vol. 2, p. 267[43] Minhaj, vol. 2, p. 27668

Part 11The Major Ablution (Ghusl Janabat)69

A. INTRODUCTION“Janabat” is a ritual impurity caused by the discharge of semen or bysexual intercourse; and the person on whom ghusl janabat becomes wajibis known as “junub”. The Qur'an says:O you who believe! Do not go near prayers (salat) when you are&junub until you have washed yourselves.[44] O you who believe! Whenyou stand up for prayers (salat), … if you are junub, then purify(yourselves).[45]70

B. THE CAUSES OF GHUSL JANABATThere are two causes of janabat:1. Discharge of semen. It does not make any difference whether thisdischarge is while awake or in a wet-dream, slight or profuse, intentionallyor otherwise, in lawful way or unlawful (e.g., masturbation). In allthese cases ghusl janabat becomes obligatory (wajib).If a liquid comes out from a man and he does not know whether or notit is semen, then he should look for the following three signs: (1) emissionwith passion; (2) spurting discharge; (3) feeling relaxed after the discharge.If these signs are found together on him, then he should considerthe liquid as semen, otherwise not.If a secretion is discharged from a woman, then it is precautionarywajib for her to do ghusl janabat provided it came with sexual passionand she felt relaxed after it. But if the secretion comes without thesexual passion or without the feeling of relaxation after the discharge,then it is not najis and therefore ghusl is not wajib upon her.2. Sexual Intercourse. It does not make any difference whether the intercoursewas lawful or unlawful, and with or without discharge of semen.In Islamic laws, sexual intercourse is defined as the penetration ofthe glans into the vagina or anus of the woman. That is, for ghusljanabat to become wajib it is not necessary that full penetration or dischargeof semen should take place. In case of sexual intercourse, ghusljanabat becomes wajib on both the man and the woman.71

C. THINGS FORBIDDEN FOR A JUNUBThe following four acts are haraam for the junub before performing theghusl.1. Touching the writing of the Qur'an, the names and attributes of Allah,the names of the Prophet, the Imams and Fatimah (the daughter of theProphet).2. Reciting the verses of the Qur'an in which sajdah (prostration) iswajib.These verses are: verse 15 of chapter 32; verse 15 of chapter 41;verse 62 of chapter 53; and verse 19 of chapter 96. It is better not to reciteeven a single verse from these chapters.3. Entering or staying in the mosque. The Qur'an says, “O you who believe!&Nor(are you allowed to enter the masjid) if you are junub untilyou have washed yourself except passing through.” 44 Based on thisverse and relevant ahadith, the mujtahids have concluded that a junub istotally forbidden from staying in the mosque.Of course, as the verse says, one can pass through the mosques (by enteringfrom one door and leaving from the other). However, this exceptionof passing through does not apply to the following places: theMasjidu'l-Haraam (the Sacred Mosque at Mecca) Masjidu' n-Nabi (theMosque of the Prophet at Medina), and shrines of the Imams. A junubcannot even pass through them.4. Leaving something in or taking it out from a mosque.72

D. Things makruh (disliked) for the junub1. Eating and drinking is makruh for a junub except after doing wuzu orgargling or rinsing the nose.2. Reciting more than seven verses from the Qur'an. This applies toother than the four chapters with wajib sajdah mentioned above.3. Touching the cover of the Qur'an.4. Sleeping without doing wuzu.73

E. THE ACTS WHOSE VALIDITY DEPEND ON GHUSLJANABAT1. Salat (prayers) except salatu'l-mayyit (the prayer for a dead Muslim)which can be performed even in the state of janabat.2. Wajib tawaf (the circumambulation of the Ka'bah in hajj).3. Fasting. If someone knowingly remains junub until dawn in Ramadan,his fasting will become invalid (batil).74

F. MANNER OF PERFORMING GHUSLGhusl is a ritual bath; it involves washing of the whole body. There aretwo methods of performing ghusl. One is known as ghusl tartibi, and theother is known as ghusl irtimasi.75

1. Ghusl Tartibi:“Ghusl tartibi” means an ordinal bath, performed in three stages.After washing away the najasat (e.g., semen or blood) from the bodyand after niyyat, the body has to be washed in three stages: First, headdown to the neck; then the right side of the body from the shoulderdown to the foot; and lastly, the left side of the body.Each part should be washed thoroughly in such a way that the waterreaches the skin. Special care should be taken while washing the head;the hair should be combed (e.g., with your fingers) so that water reachesthe hair-roots. While washing the right side of the body, some part of theleft side must be washed too, and also, while washing the left side of thebody, some part of the right side must be washed.76

2. Ghusl Irtimasi:“Ghusl irtimasi” means a bath involving immersion of the whole body inthe water. It is needless to say that such a ghusl can only be done in abody of water, e.g., a pool, river, lake or sea.After washing away the semen or blood from the body andafter niyyat, the whole body should be completely immersed in the waterall at once, not gradually. One has to make sure that the water reaches allparts of the body, including hair and the skin under it.However, ghusl tartibi is preferred to ghusl irtimasi.77

G. RECOMMENDABLE ACTS OF GHUSLThese recommendable acts are five:1. Washing both hands upto the elbows three times before the ghusl.2. Gargling three times.3. Wiping the hands on the whole body to ensure that every part hasbeen thoroughly washed.4. Combing the hair with the fingers to ensure that the water reachesthe hair-roots.5. (For men only) Doing istibra' before ghusl janabat. Istibra', in thepresent context, means “urinating.” The benefit of istibra': If a liquidcomes out of one's penis after completing the ghusl, and he doubtswhether it is semen or urine, then should he repeat the ghusl or not? Ifhe had done istibra' before the ghusl, then he can assume that the liquidis urine he will not have to repeat the ghusl; he just has to do wuzu forhis salat. But, on the other hand, if he had not done istibra' before theghusl, then he has to assume that it is the remnant of semen and he willhave to do the ghusl again.Notes:[44] Surah Nisa 4:43[45] Surah Maidah 5:678

Part 12Mutual Rights and Behaviour79

Remember that the bride has just left her loved ones. She might be newto this place. So she deserves consideration and a chance to adjust herselfin the new environment.Mulla Mohsin Faiz Kashani in his book, Al Waafi in the chapter of “AWoman's right over her Husband” writes that it is narrated from theHoly Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that some people inquired from him regardingthe rights of a wife over her husband. He (s.a.w.s.) answered, “Heshould overlook her minor faults and if she commits a major mistakethen he should forgive her.” [46]Shahab Abdo Rabbeh relates that I asked Imam Sadiq (a.s.) concerningthe rights of a woman over her husband. He (a.s.) answered, “He shouldfulfill all her basic necessities and must not terrorise her by getting angrytime and again. i.e. after fulfilling her needs, is kind and affectionate towardsher, then I swear by Allah, he has fulfilled his wife's rights.” [47]The importance of observing the rights of a wife can be gauged fromthe hadith of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) wherein he says, “The bestamong you is the one who observes the rights of his wife in the best possibleway and I am the best among you to observe the rights of mywives.” [48]80

A. The Importance of Helping one’s wife at homeOne day the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.s.) paid a visit to the house of Aliand Fatemah (a.s.). He saw that Ali (a.s.) was sieving the pulses andFatemah (s.a.) was busy cooking. On observing this the Prophet (s.a.) remarked,“O Ali, I do not speak except what is revealed to me. Anyonewho helps his wife in her domestic affairs obtains a reward of one yearof worship equal to the amount of hair on his body. This year of worshipwill be as if he has fasted during its days and prayed during its nights.Allah will reward him equal to the reward of all the patient ones, HazratDawood (a.s.) and Hazrat Isa (a.s.).” [49]81

B. Consequence of Ill Behaviour with the FamilyImam Reza (a.s.) says, “Every man should strive to make his wife andchildren comfortable according to his capacity for if he is strict and unkindto them and because their rights are being deprived they will desirehis death.” [50]When Saad ibne Maaz, the great companion of the Holy Prophet(s.a.w.s.) expired, he (s.a.w.s.) himself participated in the funeral processionand shouldered his bier quite a few times with considerable respect.Then he laid it in the grave and buried him with his own hands. On seeingthe zeal of the Prophet (s.a.), the mother of Saad cried,“Congratulations, O my son on gaining paradise.” On hearing this theMessenger of Islam retorted, “Wait, do not make haste in divine affairs. Yourson is in great agony and anguish at the moment.” When the people inquiredabout the reason for this condition he (s.a.), replied, “He behaved verybadly with his family members.” 4682

C. Rights of the Wife According to Imam Sajjad (a.s.)“It is the right of your wife that you should know that Allah has madeher for you a tranquility and comfort (in worry), and a friend and shield(against sins).And likewise, it is incumbent upon both of you to thank Allah for yourpartner and to know that (the spouse) is a grace of Allah upon you. Andit is obligatory to have good fellowship with this grace of Allah (i.e.wife), and to respect her and be kind to her, although your rights uponher are greater and her obedience to you is final in all your likes and dislikesso long as it is not a sin. So she has the right of love and fellowship,and a place of repose (i.e. house) so that natural desires may be fulfilled,and this in itself is a great duty. And there is no strength but by Allah.”[51]83

D. Husband’s rights over his WifeThe rights of a husband over his wife are numerous. The most importantamong them is related to having physical relationship with her. The dutyof a wife is to submit herself physically before her husband. This right ofthe husband i.e. of having a physical relationship with his wife, as andwhen he wants, is obviously a reciprocation of her feelings. In absence ofher husband the duties of the wife include the protection of his rights,status, wealth and respect. She must not spend his wealth without hispermission nor must she reveal his secrets. Rather she should be hisclosest confidante.She must not let anybody inside the house without his permission inhis absence. For, doing so would lead to a lot of misunderstandingswhich would have drastic repercussions on the sacred contract of marriage.She must value his ideas, plans and provisions that he has preparedfor her and other family members and obey him under all circumstances.She must not disobey him come what may nor must she do anysuch thing which detracts him. Rather she must try her best to attract hisattention towards herself by which both of them can lead a life of harmony.46Imam Baqir (a.s.) says that once a lady inquired from the Holy Prophet(s.a.w.s.) regarding the rights a husband enjoys over his wife. He(s.a.w.s.) said,“First and foremost is that she should obey him and refrain from disobedience.She must not donate anything from his house without hispermission nor can she keep recommended fasts without his approval.She must NEVER deny him his physical rights nor deprive him of itspleasures. If she steps out of the house without his permission, the angelsof the heaven and the earth, of wrath and mercy, curse her till shereturns to her house.” [52]84

E. The Importance of obeying one’s HusbandImam Sadiq (a.s.) says that a group of people paid a visit to the Messengerof Islam and said, “O Prophet of Allah, we have seen such peoplewho prostrate before each other.” The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) answered,“If at all I could permit prostration before anyone except Allah, theCreator, I would have ordered the wives to prostrate before their husbands.”[53]The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) is also reported to have said, “A wife whogives her husband water to drink attains a reward of one year of worship, a yearwhose nights were passed in prayers and days in fasting. In exchange of onedrop of water which she provides for her husband one city is built in paradise forher and sins of sixty years are forgiven.”The author of Makaremul Akhlaq narrates on the authority of ImamMuhammad Baqir (a.s.), “The Jehaad of women is to be patient while facingthe difficulties of life with their husbands.”85

F. Stricture Against Foul LanguageThe Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, “Any woman who converses indignantlywith her husband, thereby hurting his sentiments, none of her deeds either obligatoryor recommended will be accepted from her until and unless her husbanddoes not express his satisfaction with her. Even if this woman fasts during thedays, prays during the nights, frees slaves or donates the best of horses in theway of Allah, she will be first to enter the fire of hell. Similar will be the fate ofthe husband who usurps the rights of his wife.” 2486

Duties of Other Family MembersOther household members should also know that the time and attentionof the newly married ones will be divided and previous expectationsmay have to be changed to suit new circumstances. In joint families,the namehram ladies must observe hijab if they are not living in a separatehouse with their husbands.88

Decency and PrivacyThe Prophet and the Imams have emphasized that when you engage insexual intercourse, make sure that no child (or, for that matter, any otherperson) sees you or hears you. Abu Basir quotes Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq(a.s.) as follows, “Be careful not to have sex with your wife while a childcan see you. The Prophet used to dislike this (attitude) very strongly.”[54] If a child sees and hears the parents engaged in sexual intercourse,he might go through a shocking psychological experience. It might alsocreate a problem in his own adult life. Islam has laid down clearguidelines about the privacy of adults.Qur'an gives us the following rules about privacy within the familycircles:1. There are three times in a day: night, early morning and afternoonwhich are considered as times of privacy.2. The minor children should be taught that during times of privacythey are not allowed to enter the bedroom of their parents or adultswithout first asking their permission.3. At other times, the children are free to come and go into the bedroomof their parents without asking for their permission. In retrospect,this means that the parents should be decently dressed at those othertimes.4. As for the mature children and adults, the Qur'an is clear that theymay enter the bedroom of their parents or other adults at all times onlyafter asking their permission.89

ConclusionThe Islamic way of life not only assures happiness and satisfaction of anindividual but the society as a whole benefits by implementing the lawsof Shariah. Since the society consists of families and families come intobeing by matrimonial relationships it is necessary that this basic unit ofsociety is properly understood and protected from all that threatens itsexistence.Notes:[46] A Gift for the Youth, Shabeeb Rizvi[47] Al Kafi, Quoted in A Gift for the Youth, Shabeeb Rizvi[48] Man La Yahzarul Faqih, Quoted in A Gift for the Youth, ShabeebRizvi[49] Jamius Sa’daat, vol. 2, p. 142[50] Wasaelush Shia, Shaykh Hurre Amili[51] The Charter of Rights of Imam Zaynul Abidin, translated bySayyid Saeed Akhtar Rizvi[52] Makaremul Akhlaq, Quoted in A Gift for the Youth, ShabeebRizvi[53] Makaremul Akhlaq, Op. cit.[54] Wasaelush Shia, vol. 14, p. 94-9590

Chapter 2Glossary of ISLAMIC TermsHARAAM: forbidden, prohibited.IHTIYAT WAJIB: precautionarily wajib.JA'IZ, HALAAL, MUBAH: permitted, allowed, lawful, legal.MARJA' (pl. MARAJI'): A high-ranking mujtahid.MAKRUH: reprehensible, disliked, discouraged.MUJTAHID: or FAQIH (pl. FUQAHA): a jurist.SUNNAT or MUSTAHAB: recommended, desirable, better.WAJIB: obligatory, necessary, incumbent.91

Chapter 3Bibliography1. Ideal Marriage - Van de Velde2. Marriage and Morals in Islam - Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi3. Marriage and Family Ethics - Ibrahim Amini4. Spouse Selection—Ali Akber Mazaheri5. Youth and Morals - S. Mujtaba Musavi Lari6. Sexual Ethics in Islam and in the Western World - M. Mutahhari7. Islamic Law - Ayatullah Seestani8. Tahzeebul Islam - Allamah Majlisi9. Adaabe Mujaameaat—Peermohammed Ebrahim Trust10. A Gift for the Youth -Shabeeb Rizvi92

Chapter 4EndnoteI have referred to Ali Akber Mazaheri's Youth and Spouse Selection forChapters of Importance of Marriage in Islam and Spouse Selection. ChaptersFour to Eight and Chapter Eleven, are wholly taken from Maulana SayyidMuhammad Rizvi's Marriage and Morals in Islam, which I think is thebest book on this subject. The Chapter of Ghusl Janabat is adapted fromthe book, Ritual and Spiritual Purity also by Maulana Sayyid MuhammadRizvi. For Chapter of Mutual Rights I have referred to the followingbooks: Youth and Spouse Selection by Ali Akber Mazaheri, Principles ofMarriage and Family Ethics by Ibrahim Amini and A Gift for the Youth byShabeeb Rizvi.93

"Wisdom is the lost property of the Believer,let him claim it wherever he finds it"Imam Ali (as)