January (10.0 MB) - Senior Connector

January 2007 Senior Connector www.seniorconnector.com Page 11Winners of the Worst Opening Line in a Novel contest announcedSubmitted by The Shuswap Association of WritersGail Anderson-Dargatz (Salmon Arm’s celebrity author) andLes Ellenor (retired Salmon Arm English professor and stupendousstoryteller) took up the challenge.It was a tough job, but somebody had to do it. Think ofthe hours of giggling and belly laughs they endured readingevery last entry for the “Worst Opening Line of a Novel”contest.Bad sentences found their way to Salmon Arm fromsouth-of-the-border states like California, Oregon andWashington; and from B.C. poetry paradises like Fort Nelonand Williams Lake to the north, Gabriola Island, Vicoriaand West Vancouver on the Coast, and throughout thekanagan Valley.“It’s ironic that writing a bad opening sentence is morehallenging than writing a good one,” says Penticton SecndarySchool teacher Andrea DeVito, who encouraged herrade 11 and 12 English students to enter the contest.Meanwhile, contest organizers rustled up a separate catgoryto honour the budding novelists’ entries.The winners were announced Saturday, Oct. 21 at therestige Harbourfront Resort, following the Shuswap Assoiationof Writers’ (SAW) day of mesmerizing readings byeanna Kawatski and Michael Blackstock.The winners are as follows:First:: Marg Shand (Salmon Arm)Belinda’s long lacquered “ruptured spleen red” fingernails slidown the shovel’s polished handle as she eyed the nervous strangernd cooed, “Is that a poached salmon you have down your longjohnsor are you just glad to see me?”Marg won an all-day pass to the May 26, 2007 ShuswapLake International Writers’ Festival, and a one-year membershipin SAW.Second: Kati Irons (Tacoma, WA)“I know you just got home from the salmon packing factory,Zebediah,” remarked Pearline, “but what are you doing outside inyour long-johns with Marcel’s shovel, and where is Marcel?”Kati won an autographed copy of Salmon Run: A Florileiumof Aboriginal Ecological Poetry by Michael D. Blacktock,and a one-year membership in SAW.By Arlene ShorskyWhat is a Knight? He isman committed to actngon his faith and helpngthe world, a man whosetrong dedication to servinghe Church is rooted in hisrder’s humble beginnings.Time and time again,nights have proven thathrough unity our individualfforts to improve our comunitiesare magnified.As men of faith, Knightsre committed to making aifference by helping othrs,including the poor andhysically challenged.Local Knights of Columusactivities involve donaionsto RIH, St. Ann’s andur Lady of Perpetual Helparishes, Hospice, Caribooanor, St. Ann’s and OLPHchools, Pro Life Society,NIB, Boys and Girls Club,anadian Paraplegic, KamoopsFood Bank, NorKamry Grad and St. Vincente Paul.The Knights are also affilatedwith Christmas Amalamated.Le Jeune Manors operated by the KnightsThird: Lois Higgins (Salmon Arm)Agnes, who preferred to be called Celine, carefully wrapped thesalmon in her brother’s red woolen long johns and reached for hershovel as she fondly recalled the wild night of passion under thegibbous harvest moon on the banks of the roaring Adams River,when she and black-eyed Sebastian chose the beautiful dead fishas a memento of their undying love; alas now both salmon andlove are rotting and Celine, a.k.a. Agnes, will bury them deeplyin her rose garden and in her sorrowing heart.Lois won an autographed copy of Clara and Me: TheStory of an Unexpected Friendship by Deana Kawatski, anda one-year membership in SAW.Honourable Mention: Maureen Egan (Salmon Arm)Her classmates at St. Mary’s School for Incorrigible Youthtaunted her with jeers of “Salmon, Salmon-Ella, never kissed afella,” whereupon Ella-May Longjohns, a big girl for her age (111/2), bit her lip, hard, until it hurt more than the teasing hadhurt her feelings; and with a sudden inspired ferocity, she lumbereddeterminedly across the schoolyard and over to the groundskeeper’sworkshed, where, propped against the side of the ramshacklehut was a particular piece of equipment that Ella thoughtmight inflict similar pain upon her tormentors when strickenacross their bony shins - the rusted iron shovel with the gnarledoaken handle that was used only to dig the weekly grave.Penticton Secondary’s English 11 and 12 student winnersare:First: Alan K.[A] while ago, in October, I saw a very big guy with purplelongjohns doing what looked like fishing with a shovel but hemissed the salmon and hit his knees that were beneath his longjohnsand he fell into the water then the salmon attacked him andI haven’t seen him since.Second: Holly EksalOnce upon a time all the salmon lived together in a world in ariver together until a man came wearing golden longjohns bearinga shovel and dug up the whole river so there was no waterand all the salmon cooked in the sun and became smoked salmonand that’s how smoked salmon was invented and then he atethem and got fat; this is why obesity is bad and smoked salmon isthe cause.Knights of Columbus in Kamloopsof Columbus, where one ofthe Knights, John W. is themaintenance man.Donating financially isnot the only part of bettermentof society. The Knightscontribute more than 55million hours of volunteerservice, such as Blue Massesto honour and pray foremergency rescue personnel,blood drives to assist thosein need, clothing and foodcollections to help the lessfortunate, providing rides toshut-ins and by volunteeringat area soup kitchens.Members of the Knightsof Columbus give their timeto Special Olympics by volunteeringin a wide varietyof roles.Today, the Knights ofColumbus is the largestCatholic service organizationin the world.But they are not complacentor unconcerned, infact they are tireless in theirsearch for the next generationof Knights. These aremen of character and convictionwho are driven bytheir faith and conscience toselflessly serve their families,Church and communities.May God bless all of youKnights and your families.Third: Jordan SullevanOnce upon a time, in a ugly and big galaxy that was a superduper long ways away there was a hippo that wanted to eatsome salmon on a longjohn from the Tim Horton’s fresh bakerywhich made him grab his extra long snow shovel and embark onhis quest which brought him to Quizno’s to get directions to TimHorton’s which helped him get to Tim Hortons, but when he gotthere, the lady at the counter said, “We no sell you longjohn causewe out of them,” so he drove across North America which broughthim to...Each student will receive a certificate suitable for framingthat proclaims his or her prowess with the English language.Watch the Shuswap Association of Writers’ website (www.saow.ca) for further contests, readings, festivals and fun.STONE & COMPANYCertified General AccountantsWishing everyone aMerry Christmasand a Happy New Year.j443 Tranquille Road, Kamloops 250-554-2533Brookfield Centre, Clearwater 250-674-2532From beautiful surroundings, to recreation facilities, to exceptional dining - going out of our way toexceed expectations is the goal at Berwick on the Park retirement residence.ber21_janKamloops • British ColumbiaOur Promise to youTo exceed expectations at every turn#60 Whiteshield Crescent South, Kamloops, BC V2E 2S9(250) 377-7275Your Premier Retirement Residencewww.berwickrc.com • Email: bop.marketing@berwickrc.comWinter HoursNow in EffectLunchandDinnerSpecialsDailyKamloops • 554-3211jsls06_decMCG07_NOVR