My Life

My Life - Oswald Mosleycommunication trench, troops would prefer to risk death by marching over therelatively firm and easy open ground. There comes a limit to the nuisance of life insome conditions.There was too a certain exhilaration in going up over the top at night. Lights fired intothe air continually from each side illuminated the night sky, and the whistle of passingbullets contributed to the eerie beauty of the stark surroundings. There was a certaintragic loveliness in that unearthly desolation, the ultimate nihilism of man's failedspirit. Also, for many at that stage a wound could seem a release, and death was peace.Higher command naturally and rightly took another view: life must not be riskedunnecessarily. Discipline had to be enforced, though I was particularly susceptible tothe discomfort and pain of the tedious trudge below ground.What mattered at that point of war was noise, whether in the air or in the trench. Itwas the constant, grinding shock of noise that wore men down. It was always said thatall troops broke at a certain point of the bombardment, with the great regiments, ofcourse, at a far higher degree than the lesser. I was always convinced that it was thesustained noise that did it, not the fear of death, which men at a certain point ofweariness and war nausea almost entirely lost. That was why I always felt thatabsorbing the full shock of shell-fire during a three-hour reconnaissance in the air waseven more trying than a much longer bombardment on the ground; it was suchconcentrated noise.Men with the long habit of war hardly minded the rifle or machine-gun fire —thatlight, relatively agreeable zip past the ear—nothing would gravely affect them exceptthe days-long ground-shattering roar of the bombardment which usually preceded anattack. Even the light whizz-bangs—as we called them—would not disturb themmuch, though they were more dangerous, because you could not hear them coming,than the heavy shells which signalled their arrival with a protracted whistle, and gaveyou time to scrabble in the mud. Noise, coupled with heavy concussion, most affectedhealth and spirits.The barrage I had experienced at the second battle of Ypres was worse than anythingencountered at that time in the aftermath of the second battle of Loos, though it was alively section of the line with a regular and severe morning and evening bombardment.The main pre-occupation, however, was the constant mining which required continualalertness. It was the explosion of a mine in the front line while we were in supporttrenches which exposed me to my most difficult physical test. My injured leg hadbeen gradually deteriorating; it became more painful with movement and was muchswollen. Standing for long periods in water in one section of the line had done nogood to the injured bones, which had not entirely set. In particular, it was difficultsuddenly to move from a recumbent position. Like a lame horse, I would warm upwhen I got going, but if I had been asleep it was difficult to rest any weight on the legdirectly I woke up.I was asleep one night on the fire-step of a support trench when a mine exploded inthe front line and we had to go up in a hurry. When I awoke, as usual I could put noweight on the leg at all. So it was a matter of hopping when the ground was firm, orgoing on hands and knees where it was too muddy for hopping. However, I kept up,and got there.61 of 424