My Life

My Life - Oswald Mosleyand the chiefs of the whole Civil Service were regaled for long periods of ourprecious weekly meeting by the consequent debates. The head of the Post Office atthat time added a certain charm of personality to literary gifts which were known inwider circles, and may have derived more amusement from the exercise than the restof us. His theme in brief was that concrete poles were more expensive and moredangerous. But Jimmy's bulldog qualities were not so easily frustrated. He wrote to atrade union friend in Australia and got the desired reply that telegraph poles in thatcountry were made of concrete. The air at our weekly meeting was once againcharged with the pending ministerial triumph, as the letter was read with all thedramatic effect of the parliamentary artist. Then came the rather languid reply: inAustralia they must have concrete poles because the white ants immediately eatwooden poles. A long pause was at length interrupted by a pawky voice from theScottish Office: clearly the only solution for our economic problems is to import thewhite ant.The Dominions were more directly involved when Thomas went on a journey ofseveral weeks to Canada with the object of developing export markets. Nothingserious was done, it was just a gas and booze tour, and on his return this was soonrevealed in the usual farcical fashion. Industrialists were invited to meet us in solemnconclave to hear all that he had accomplished on their behalf; notably on that of thecoal chiefs. They assembled, impressed and gratified that a Minister of the Crownshould have spent so much of his time and the public money acting as theircommercial traveller, and were rewarded by a resounding oration informing them ingeneral terms that as a result of his protracted exertions the Canadian market wastheirs for the asking.After flowery expressions of gratitude for such an achievement, amounting at firstalmost to acclamation, some tactless brute of a soldier, who had been a prominent andsuccessful member of the General Staff in the war and had since retired to performequally valuable service to the coal industry, ventured to raise the delicate question ofprice, which had not hitherto been discussed. At what price would they have to delivertheir coal in the Canadian market which Mr. Thomas had been so good as to obtainfor them? The reply was that the Minister had fixed all that and that they would find itwas quite all right. Question and evasion continued for some time; and at length theindustrialist put his point with military precision. America is not only highlymechanised but has a short haul to Canada, while Britain has a long haul; that is whyin straight competition the Americans have always been able to beat us there. Doesthe Minister mean he has persuaded the Canadians to pay more for their coal in orderto buy British? If so, what is the price?— I must insist on an answer. Mr. Thomas in acondition verging on apoplexy shouted: 'That is a most impertinent question'. Thegathering dissolved in considerable confusion.So it continued, 'on and on and up and up' in the MacDonald terminology, without anyintervention from that 'indefatigable beast' who was supposed to be conducting thegovernment. I remained on good terms with him and was able sometimes to see himprivately with opportunity to inform him, but was then translated straight into aShavian comedy with the Prime Minister ready to discuss anything under the sun—preferably the gorse at Lossiemouth, which, he would recall with nostalgia, was thenin bloom—everything except the relevant subject on which the life of his governmentdepended. The other two Ministers who were supposed to be dealing with195 of 424