My Life

My Life - Oswald MosleyWhy is it that we cannot overcome these barriers? They can upon occasion besurmounted by minds and characters at a certain level of common interest andattainment, but they too often arise between generations. My relations with mygrandfather were certainly more intimate than his contacts with his own grandfather,before whom he was accustomed to stand to attention like a soldier on parade at theheight of the Victorian era. Manners were formal and family discipline was strict inthis earlier period at Rolleston.That massive building, emblem of Victorian achievement and stability on which thesun was never to set, remains vivid in my memory as it can still journey throughnearly every room - the entrance-hall heavy with black oak, leading to a widestaircase which branched gracefully at the halfway point and was adorned with familypictures on the lofty walls reaching right to the roof; the large dining-room, whichwas the only room to the left of the staircase because it supplied the contemporaryneed in a house to be near the kitchen; the long passage leading to the sequence ofrooms on the right of the staircase and beginning with the man in armour, past whomwe used to scurry in lively apprehension when sent at night from the protracted dinnerto bed at a reasonable hour; then the fantastic Moorish room which my grandmotherfondly believed to be in the most exotic mode of the moment; the adjoiningstereotyped drawing-room of the period, which she conceived to be the completeexpression of exquisite femininity; then the library, a most agreeable room, all leatherand filled with beautiful books, from which I still preserve some three thousand; nextthe billiard room, again all leather and redolent of post-prandial male jollity; andfinally conservatory and ballroom with well-polished floor, which in childhood addedshine to the seat of the pants, with my grandfather's little quiet work sanctum lurkingbeyond. An equally large area in the other half of the house was occupied by thevaried cohorts of housekeepers, butlers, footmen, cooks, scullions, still-room maids,house-maids, etc., who lived in almost equal style of victuals and material comforts -the butlers were almost as portly as their patrons - which the descendants of theiremployers would today regard as an existence of magnificence. Chiming clocks inside,sweeping lawns outside, forever recall me to Rolleston.I was regarded as the heir to all this and was ostentatiously so treated by mygrandfather, although my father was still alive and the entail through him still existed;so it was perhaps well that I had the constant correction of return with my mother toher really humble home. Psychological wiseacres will at once draw their conclusionswhen the separation of my father and mother is mentioned, together with theestrangement between father and grandfather; in due course we will examine theirpretensions, on which I have at least clear views.In early childhood I hardly knew my father, as a separation had occurred when I wasfive years old, and he was regarded as something of an ogre by my mother's family;but later I established with him a happy relationship over a long period. Mygrandfather suffered from no such apprehension concerning any man, but had a robustdislike for his son, who was the eldest of a family which included three good-lookingdaughters. The origin of the feud was rather obscure, as during my father's childhoodthey appear to have got on quite well. My grandfather in crisp summary used to sayhe could sometimes tolerate a merry blackguard, but he could not endure a gloomyblackguard. This word now has a quite different connotation; my grandfather did notmean anything to do with dishonesty. What he had in mind apparently were certain14 of 424