TLW66 - Nomads Results

ut after many months of therapy, we managed to control his disorder. Indeed, heeven won two ratings prizes at the Latvian Masters after enrolling in all threedivisions. I lost contact with him when I moved to England in the 80s, but I heard hehad a severe relapse after one of him switched to Sowpods, and now spent most ofhis time at tournaments arguing with himself in the toilets.And then there was my trickiest case. We'll call him Player A. I could tell he hadserious problems when he first entered the room. He was muttering anagrams tohimself and wore one of those custom-printed T-shirts. It read "you don't have to bemad to play Scrabble but I certainly am. Flubalubalub." (When you're a trainedpsychoanalyst, you learn to pick up on these small details.)We start with some word-association. "Charisma" I said. "Archaism" he replies in thetwinkle of an I. I'm impressed, but can't resist asking "what about machairs?""Comfy" he replies - "leatherette if I'm not mistaken?" I nod. "Anyway" he continues,"you don't pronounce it like that - it's Gaelic you know." I glare at him and write"smart-arse" in the margin of my notes."So what's the score doc? Have I lost my bottle?" I explain that this Is a verycommon problem. Scrabblism is still quite rife and the constant taunts of family andcolleagues can have a devastating effect on ones Scrabble self-esteem. Irecommend that he fashions for himself an 'alter-Scrabble-ego'."Sure, It's all the rage now. A lot of players choose a new name - often it's Just ananagram of their real name. Nothing too stupid of course - It has to be believable.""I see" he says, "and then what?""Well", I explain, "once you've got your new Identity the sky's the limit. You can sayand do things your old real self would never dare. So even if, like you, the realScrabbler underneath Is just a spineless word-nerd with all the charisma of a sweatytile-bag, your new Scrabble self can charm the birds from the trees. Or, In your case,perhaps birds might be too ambitious. Maybe a couple of wasps and a fewmosquitoes. We can build up to birds.""Talking of which, will the new me be a hit with the ladles at tournaments too?" heenquired with that desperately hopeful air of a dog eyeing up your last chocolateHobnob."Let's be realistic", I said. "A pair of sunglasses and a new name is one thing butthere's still your body odour problem and that interesting skin complaint. We have towalk before we run, and In your case, I think we may have to shower before we evenwalk, if you know what I mean."But, player A heeded my advice. We worked hard on his new image - and giventime, and some Oddcat Industrial Deodorant (as endorsed by the 1972 LatvianOlympic Triathlon team) he found his form again. Last I heard he even had his ownScrabble show on Estonian cable TV.And the moral of the tale? Well, if you feel your Scrabble charisma is flagging, justget out the tiles, rearrange your name into something with a bit more pzazz, buysome heavy-duty deodorant if required, and just reinvent yourself. I've heard itworks wonders.