A treatise on comforting afflicted consciences - The Digital Puritan

280 INSTRUCTIONS FOR COMFORTINGproaching dissolution, uniting, as it were, and collecting thesight of thy soul, which employments, in the world, commerceamong men, and sunshine of outward prosperity,did before too much disperse, dazzle, and divert; they arerepresented far more to the life, and in their true colours.Whereupon, comparing the poor weak, nothingness, as thounow apprehendest, of thy godly sorrow, hatred, and oppositionagainst them, with thy present apprehension of theirheinousness, hatefulness, and horrible number, thou beginnestto be dejected, and knowest not well what to think ofthyself : I say then for thy comfort, consult with thy sanctifiedheart, and thou shalt find and feel an infinite heartydesire that thy repentance for them, detestation of them,and heart rising against them, had been, and now were asthorough, sound, and resolute as ever was in any penitentsoul that breathed the lite of grace upon earth.2. Revising now thy whole Christian conversation, spendingof sabbaths, pouring out prayers, reading scriptures,hearing the word, love of the brethren, days of humiliation,works of mercy, receiving the sacrament, godly conference,living by faith in all estates, Sec, thou mayest see them inthis last, impartial, clear, retired examination of thy conscience,to have been beset with so many failings, imperfections,deadness of spirit, distractions, distempers, thatthou beginnest to fear and conceive thou mightest as wellnever have entered the Christian course at all as to havemade so little progress therein. In this case also reflectupon the holy habitual disposition of thy heart, and thoushalt feel it thirsting and longing unfeignedly that all theholy duties and good deeds that ever passed through thyheart and hands had been done in answerable exactness tothe rules of divine truth ; and, if it had so pleased God,with absolute freedom from all infirmities.3. Thou mayest be troubled at that time, because, beingperhaps, as yet, but of little standing in profession, thouhast done God so little service ;and in that short time hastnot stood on God's side with that courage and life, norwalked in his holy ways with that watchfulness and zealas thou mightest. And it cuts thy heart the more, becausethou hast spent so much of thy time in serving thyself andSatan, and expectesc now to enjoy immortal joys and acrown of endless bliss. But here is thy comfort — it is theunfeigned desire and resolution of thine heart. If the Lordwould be pleased to allow thee a longer time in this life,and add many more years unto it, thouvvouldest doublethy diligence, and improve all opportunities to do thy Godevery way far more glorious service than heretofore, all the