The Rocky Horror Tantra Book

The Rocky Horror Tantra BookCopyright © Sw. A. Rahasya 2012This file and copies of it may be distributed free of charge.This book is a work of creative non-fiction.Category: Religious texts – TantraRecommended reading age:This book is not intended to be read by children of any age.Published by the Advait Tantra Schoolwww.advaittantra.comInternational print edition ISBN: 978-1478205159This electronic edition available at:rockyhorrortantra.comADVAIT Tantra SCHOOLadvaittantra.com

ContentsThe Rocky Horror Tantra BookIntroductionSwami at work 8Tantra is … 18Commentary 25Chapter 1Candles and incense 28Sex: the lowest form of love 31Seven sessions 36Chapter 2The ironmonger 42Eroticism, the light in the darkness of everybody’s life 47Heavy metal 50Chapter 3An infidelity 52The tantric attitude of totality 57Hot monogamy 60Chapter 4Little girl’s panties 74The tantric time warp 76The revirginised sacrifice 79Chapter 5The pervert 86Ancient and modern approaches to taboo and initiation 90The pervert revisited 97Chapter 6Orders from the dakini 104Dakinis and dakas 116A cup of tea 120Chapter 7The shaman 126The first patriarch 132Inferior men 158Modern times 167

Chapter 8Old School 172Don’t dream it … be it 177Inner temple 180Chapter 9Dark night 184Notes on the enlightened condition 189Dawn 192Swami’s notesNote 1Tantric sex basics 199Note 2Preparation of the body and mind for Tantra 219Note 3Beyond premature ejaculation 241Note 4Touch, breath and timing 249Note 5Therapy to truth in three easy steps 259Note 6Kissing 267Note 7The dark and the dangerous 271Note 8Meditation 291Note 9Chakras and kundalini 301Thanks and acknowledgements 314Rocky Horror Tantra online 315The Advait Tantra School 316

Formal greeting between participantson an intensive residential retreat:I give you permission to explore in your life even thatwhich I am too fearful to explore in my own.

IntroductionThe purpose and intent of TantraI would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLSwami at workThe mobile phone buzzed on the bedside table.I seemed to float up softly, drifting up and through where mydreams had happened. I felt them tugging at me, some withinsistence. I resisted at first, then relaxed and looked them over.None of them seemed so interesting or important that I wantedto drag them all the way up to my waking memory. I shrugged freeof them and continued my ascent.The phone buzzed again.I felt the softness of old cotton and the deep relaxation of mybody. I pulled my head under the duvet and sank into the soft,comforting warmth.The phone buzzed. That was three times now. After the sixth, itwould go quiet and record a message.I had slept enough … more than enough. This was the thirdtime this morning that I had dozed my way back to the depthsof sleep.I admitted to myself that I was now awake and could answer it.The phone buzzed again. I reached for it and opened my eyes.Squinting in the bright light to read what was probably the lastmonochrome cellphone screen in history, I saw who was callingand pushed the green button.“Hi Wendy,” I said, as brightly as I could manage. The little screenhad informed me that it was a little after ten.“Did I wake you up, Swami?” she asked. “You sound like you aretrying not to sound sleepy.”8

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Yes, plenty of sleep. I am happy to be up.” My bladder informedme that it too was happy I was awake. “You want to visit?” I asked,straightening my legs.“Yes.”“Where are you? How long will it take you to get here?” My feetfound resistance and pushed.“At home. Not long.”“Um …” I shook sleepiness from my head and pushed harderwith my feet. The cat meowed a filthy insult and my toes retreatedhastily from the claw tips they felt through the thin duvet. “Haveyou eaten? I can do omelettes.”“I have eaten already, so not for me. Is there anything I can bringyou?”I thought a moment while my feet searched for a way around thecat, found the edge of the futon and headed for the floor.“I am out of green tea.”“I will buy some. Anything else?”“A Red Bull?”She paused, just very briefly. “Very funny.”My feet found the floor. “And I think the milk may be a littleold.” I looked suspiciously at the cat. It looked back, inscrutable.“Nothing else.”“OK Swami. See you in half an hour.” The phone made its endof-callbleep.Standing now, I dropped the phone on the bed and got on withmy usual morning routine. By the time Wendy arrived, the panwas warming for my omelette and the kettle had just boiled.She drank a cup of green tea while I enjoyed chilli beans and fiercelystrong cheddar cheese wrapped in three eggs from celibate, but9

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLotherwise allegedly happy chickens. The cat lapped contentedly ata saucer of fresh milk.I washed my plate. The cat moved outside and sprawled in thesun. Wendy did likewise.I poured myself a glass of orange juice, grabbed a cushion andjoined them.“Late night?” Wendy asked.“Yes. Writing. Not very late though.”“You look …” She elbowed herself up to look at me. “Well … nottoo bad.”“Thank you.”“You are welcome, Swami.” She smiled. “And anyway, all you haveto do this afternoon is the dummy thing.”“Training Yogini Janet again?”“Yes. She is coming along well. I think you may be surprised.”“We have had quite a few …”“Yes. She has had six sessions with you and another five withme.”“Well, she has the moves down. Improv not bad.”“But not good yet.”“Well, you can’t expect …”“Yes, Swami, but she is not going to do an internship. She is havingextra training to get a better grounding.”“I was hoping she would change her mind.”10

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“She is too wild for that kind of close guidance. She is finding herpower and will probably need to be a bit irresponsible with it fora while.”“Scary thought.” I chuckled. “What are you working on withher?”“Jade egg exercises, general life stuff and some strategy.”“Strategy, not exterior and self-honesty?” I said, a little surprised.“She likes strategy, and she has talent for it. Without even havingheard of Machiavelli or Miamoto, she has done quite well in hercareer.”“With their teachings then, she could make considerabletrouble.”Wendy grinned. “Not that much, and I will keep a close watch.Anyway, you always say that it is OK for a yogini to ruin a few menin the course of her learning.”“I said it was regrettable …”“But acceptable. I remember, from when I was still ruining them.”“You didn’t ruin anyone. You were a sweetie-darling.”“Oh come on, Swami. I ruined at least two for sure.”I grinned. “K and L certainly had a lot of trouble but they arebetter citizens for the experience – well-spanked – and I hear theyare much better behaved now. That is what you get for fuckingaround with tantrikas.”She laughed, then looked serious. “I regressed them years, Swami.K especially.”“No, Wendy. You forced them to reveal and be what they actuallyare. They thought they were transcendent yogis but they hadlayered that learning on a dodgy foundation of unexamined crap.Like sugar …”11

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe completed the phrase for me. “… on shit.”“Yes. And when they proved incapable of meeting the challengethat you are, you were kind.”“I’m not sure I really see the kindness in what happened. It had tohappen, of course, but …”I interrupted her. She tolerates a little of that, sometimes. “Yourkindness was that you gave them the option of retreat. Youdidn’t let them feel your full energy or use addictive or mistimedtechniques.”“Well, I may have actually, a bit …”I interrupted her again. “Not enough to damage them. Your agendawas not to use your power for your comfort and convenience.”“My agenda, no … but I did take some conveniences, and somecomforts.” She smiled.“No matter,” I persisted. “Certainly they were in trouble with youbut it was trouble that they chose, consciously and willingly. Therewere always plenty of perfectly normal girlfriends out there forthem, if that is what they had wanted. There is an ocean full offish available.”“I suppose.” The smile seemed to be fading.“You let them go, catch and release style, as cleanly, ascompassionately as possible.”“That is definitely pushing it, Swami.”“You even gave them the option of slipping the hook.”“I am getting tired of these fishing analogies. Only a car storywould be worse.”“Er … no cars?” Naturally, a good one had sprung to mind.She looked at me and there was almost a quality of reprimand toher answer. “No.”12

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Ok. Martial arts.”“I know your condensed, bastardised version of all the lovely oldstories.” There was a glint in her eye. I knew I had her.“Well, you know the story of Uchidachi and Shidachi?”“Of course. Uchidachi is itchy with his power, his youth, hisimpetuosity and his zanshin. He attacks. Shidachi, older, wiser,steadier, sometimes sneakier, absorbs the attack and kills or holdsthe threat of death over Uchidachi, who either dies or backs offvery carefully, sheathing his sword.”“You were a merciful Shidachi.”She considered this for a moment. “Maybe.”“You, very kindly, left them the option of accommodating theirfear when they found they couldn’t face it. Their minds weren’ttorn between incompatible imperatives – they were just stresseda bit.If they can get into what they overlooked, all their higher learningcould still come into play.”“Not likely.” She frowned. “But I suppose they do have the option,if not the spirit.”“I always found your attitude towards them compassionate. Thatis what made me comfortable with you exercising your power.What do you think of Janet, in that area?”“Nothing to worry about, and anyway, she isn’t that powerfulyet.”“From your perspective as a dakini, sure.”“Meaning?”“Compared to regular people of the culture, hell, compared evento the most sexually aware and capable …”13

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“I see what you mean. Yes. She does have a predatory capacity butshe looks more playful than nasty to me.” She shrugged. “Maybethere is some risk but she is worth it, I think.”“Do you see a Devya in her?”“Every now and then.” She smiled. “Her urge for the transcendentis weak at present but it is developing.”“Her feminine?”“Still lurking in the subconscious, but it has been seen. It is shyand resentful of course, but not immovably so. In avoidance, shetends towards hyper-sensitivity rather than numbness.”“Yes. Ticklish and jumpy as popcorn at her second session.”“Just so, and it goes with a good sense of humour.”“OK, then. I will try to be a good dummy for her. Let’s turn her onand see how she lights up.”Wendy winced, as she does when I say something particularlyinelegant or inappropriate.“What?” I challenged. “You called it the ‘dummy thing’.”“Not that, Swami.” With exaggerated patience and disapprovingtone. “Turn her on and see how she lights up? Really! You can dobetter than that.”I laughed and then stopped when it looked as if she was not joiningin. “Sure I could do better. That was just between us, Wendy.”She frowned. “And what is all this worry about possibly creating awild dakini? You love wild dakinis.”“I do, and I love free ones at least as much.” I hit her with a smilethat was, despite my years, still devastatingly charming. It wasspectacular in its complete failure to have any noticeable effect.“So why?”14

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Because I wanted your discernment. I pitched it in the negativebecause …”“You wanted to see if I was being incom …”“No, no. Of course not,” I re-interrupted.“I just wanted to make space for raising even little concerns, if youhad any. I like her, but my intuition is not in your class. I wantedyour most uncensored opinion.”She looked at me with (I hoped) feigned disappointment. Itried the smile again, with similarly outstandingly disappointingresults.“Really, Swami.” I was amazed at how many layers of expressionher subtle use of tone managed to convey in those two words. Acrème brûlée of mixed feeling: rich amusement delicately blendedwith wholesome exasperation and warm fondness, covered with atopping of sugar-crisp authority. She continued, her tone no lessnuanced. “Do you think I would have taught her thus far withouthaving considered these things?”“Um … I suppose not. But it was good to hear where you thinkshe is at. Thank you.”She grinned at my (perhaps) feigned chagrin.Making herself another cup of tea, she asked, “How is the bookcoming along?”“The chapter I started last night on the masculine/feminine thingcompletes the book, I think. I got quite far with it. Some bits ofthat story were really hard to tell.”“What was hard?”“Writing nasty things about women, particularly how they treatedmen in the time before patriarchy.”“Not nasty. Natural.”15

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes”. I pointed at the cat. “In much the same way as that godlesskilling machine is natural.”“You leave Kitty Kali out of this,” she said as the godless killingmachine purred in agreement. “It had to be told, though. Thoserealisations were seriously important to me.”“Of course, and I think the masculine/feminine thing is amandatory topic in any book about Tantra, even though myperspective is maybe not going to be very popular.”“Oh … you are not just mentioning the matriarchal era …”“No. I am telling the story of the first patriarch.”“Ooh …” Her gaze and her eyelids lowered. She smiled. “I lookforward to reading it.”“I will email the first draft when I have finished It. It will besoon.”“And then your book will be done?”“Apart from editing, yes, and one more story.”“One more?”“For the introduction. I have the lecture part, but I would like asomewhat fictionalised story, as I do for the chapters.”“Yes. Your sutras wrapped in parables.” She grinned as I blushed,ever so slightly.“I think of it as stories framing lectures,” I tried to explain.“Your introduction …” She paused and frowned. “I am sure I haveread it. About Tantra being the toughest bitch of a path, how it isjust troublesome and disturbing for most and why it is only usefulto a vanishingly small minority?”“Um … not quite like that.”16

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“But you do make a solid attempt to scare your beloved readersoff.”“It is pretty much always the first thing I tell a student …” I startedto protest.She nodded and interrupted. “I get it, Swami, but I do think thebook as a whole will manage that just fine. There is no particularreason to scare your beloved readers off right at the beginning.”“Well, how about we take a look at what I have so far? It is a whilesince you last read it. Maybe reading it again will prompt anidea.”17

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLTantra is …Tantra is the roughest, rockiest and unquestionably the mosthorrible of spiritual paths. It is not a journey for the faint-hearted,the weak-minded or the emotionally troubled. It presents seriousdifficulties even to the heroic. It is as harsh as the Truths of Lifethemselves.This is because Tantra challenges, uncompromisingly, any and allavoidance of truth.This word “truth” maybe needs a little clarification, somedisambiguation. The word has a few common usages these days.So, not political truth: that which is left after plausible deniabilityhas been deducted,or social truth: what ‘everyone’ knows, i.e. a belief systemor even intellectual truth: that which can be understood andexplained.The truth that Tantra is concerned with is truth that is directlyknown, through one’s own experience.This truth is not a static thing. Nor is it identical on all scales ofperception and at all levels of awareness.There is no way to describe this truth directly with anyusefulness, but analogy and metaphor can be used. Stories aboutthe experiences of others can be encouraging or cautionary.Suggestions of methods and approaches can be useful.One way of describing characteristics of spiritual truths is topersonify them as deities.The most popular deities in the tantric realm tend to be Goddesseswith fierce, destructive and chaotic dispositions. Cunning,resourceful and skilfully strategic. Ruthless and powerful. Reallytough to negotiate with. They have to be loved, adored and18

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKworshipped with an absolutely unreserved and deeply responsivedevotion.This does not protect their devotees. It makes them closeenough and vulnerable enough for the Goddess to trample themunderfoot and decapitate them. Kali wears a garland made of theskulls of her victims. The skulls are analogous to the mind-egos ofher devotees, which have been removed by the blade of her truth.Tantra, in just its preliminary work, directly confronts the mindegowith unaccepted and even unacceptable truths. Enduring thepsychologically shattering consequences of this is not everybody’sidea of fun but it is necessary – like clearing the weeds beforeplanting a garden, or erasing a computer hard drive beforeinstalling a new operating system. False associations, trained inby culture, schooling, parents and religion, have to be confronted,uprooted and removed from one’s decision-making if the truth isever to be approached.The word Tantra means ‘to weave’. Tantrikas weave the spiritualteachings of the enlightened, known as “threads” (sutras) into acoherent, personal and practical philosophy. Passive acceptance ofa point of view, of a belief system, is not at all useful.Tantra requires that you make intense and deliberate effort andthat you strongly support your own progression of awareness.The practices and methods of authentic Tantra are designed tofacilitate the discovery and acceptance of truth as it is, howeveruncomfortable it may appear.The first task of any teacher of Tantra is to scare you off the ideaaltogether. This is a compassionate measure designed to sparethose without the calling, saving them considerable effort, painand time.Tantra is also known as the Path of Bliss, the Lightning Path andthe Royal Road.19

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLBliss, because pleasures and pains are embraced, not avoided. Blissis the integration, the encompassing acceptance, of life’s pleasureand suffering as one suchness.Lightning, because the path is notable for its extreme speed.The Royal Road, because it is a path originally designed (at leastthe Buddhist version) for the elite of a culture, whose worldlyinvolvement and responsibilities make monastic life impractical.The personal characteristics that produce achievers in any area ofhuman endeavour are essential to Tantra: ambition, determination,responsiveness and, especially, hubris.Humanity can be classified into three major categories ofinclination and potential. These categories are not absolute, andtheir boundaries can be crossed by individuals in the course oftheir lives. That said, they are a good general guide to who shouldand who should probably not dabble with things tantric.Pasha (those in a noose) are the good citizens: the 90% of peoplethat believe “what everyone knows” and follow their leaders. It isautomatic for them to accept the guidelines and restrictions theyare given.They have always been exploited by each other and the otherclasses of humanity. They are the predated upon: the sheep.They are not seeking for spiritual truths. If they manage anincarnation of some sobriety, and not to beat their wives, browbeattheir husbands or traumatise their children into dysfunctionality,their incarnations are successful: worthy of sincere respect.They should on no account have anything to do with Tantra. Atmost, good sex guides are useful to them: the Kama Sutra andmodern equivalents. Pillow books.Even Neo-Tantra can be bad for them. Gains in terms of the sexualpleasure they experience and their awareness of (and reactivityto) cultural restraint are not necessarily a good thing. The noosesof sexual addiction and of alternative, fringe and revolutionary20

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKsubcultures are not necessarily preferable to the standard ones,and are so easy to slip into.The anarchist objective of freeing pasha from their nooses looksnoble. It is not. It is intrinsically stupid. The pasha need theirnooses and will manufacture nooses themselves if none areprovided. Their evolution is the culture’s evolution which takestime.Virya are those of heroic inclination making up perhaps 8% orso of the population. They excel in intellectual, financial, politicaland criminal endeavours. They are the predators: the wolves.Some are lone wolves. Most prefer the protection and herdingcapabilities of the pack. They form packs – gangs of all kinds:professional associations, corporations, governments, armies,mafias and fraternities.Their major strength is their willingness to risk failure.Virya (related to the root of the word ‘virile’) are sometimesattracted to Tantra – particularly to its promises of increasedsexual power and the siddhis (magical capabilities) which areinescapably part of Tantra’s repertoire and reputation.It is hard for virya to give, love or share when they cannot see animmediate advantage in it. Many choose to stay in the shallowsof their experience when they find that the depths have costs thatmoney cannot meet.The biggest danger of Tantra to a virya-type person is that theirheroic hubris and conquering ego can develop desires beyondmere worldly achievement and ambition, turning them into adevya.Devya, those oriented to the Divine, making up around 2% ofthe population, are those with seriously well-developed egostructures.They find the cultural laws and limitations which constrainthe excesses of pasha and virya to be unnecessary and silly.21

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLUnnecessary because true happiness is not a matter of worldlypower and wealth. Silly because they are intelligent enough to finda loophole or a way around virtually any law or restriction theyfind inconvenient.Their hubris is extreme. Not content with the pursuit of worldlypleasures and the satisfaction of material desires, they desirethe highest states of consciousness and delights beyond themundanely physical.Most of them are content with making spiritual progress, withdeveloping and evolving as their path unfolds. Some try to liveby the Buddhist guidelines of merit and karma, striving to gainthe one to avoid the other. Many find a traditional teaching, arespectable guru, a spiritual lifestyle or a reading list.Some are wilder, more exploratory. They explore ideas from Tolleto the Tirthankaras, practices from Mantak Chia to Caroline Myss,attitudes from science to shamanism and drugs, from alcohol toayahuasca.When things go well, they find their way through a few mazes,get over being amazed, and develop a more insistent approach tothings. They develop the willingness to face their shadow aspectsin more than theory. They develop the courage and willingness toface their own depths.Tantrikas are a subset of these seekers of truth. They are themost insistent, the most committed and the most total in theirapproach. This is why they want the fastest, most effectiveteachings. Right now. Even if the lessons are delivered harder andfaster and therefore hurt more in the short term.Tantrikas are well-equipped for the path if they have had adecent immersion in all three predominant states of being: pasha,virya and devya. Each of these states holds valuable lessons andunderstanding.Without a taste of pasha, one has no capacity for committing toany discipline: no endurance when submission to hard lessons22

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKis required and no stubbornness when it is necessary to resiststupidity.Without something of the heroic virya, the will to gamble is weakand the insistence on success, no matter what is lacking. Tantrarequires a great personal capacity to risk and, when movingthrough hard lessons, great persistence of intent.The insistence of Tantra is: enlightenment this lifetime or bust. Atantrika is not interested in incremental improvements, personaldevelopment or finding ways to get her ‘needs’ met and be happy. Atantrika is interested in going beyond all self-imposed limitationsand seeking truth wherever it is to be found. When necessary,tantrikas worthy of the name have the capacity and willingness tolearn the way the cat learnt to swim.It is specifically for those few that this book is written: themost insistent of the seekers of truth. The special forces amongspiritual warriors. Those with unusual capabilities, capacities andcourage.This is just a book, and I have gone to the necessary trouble topublish it, so it seems silly to warn you off reading it. Silly, butnecessary – and silly that it is necessary. If you think that readinga book with a cover like this could risk your soul’s long-termdamnation, it probably does.I recommend you give it to your worst enemy.The tantric path starts at the edge of a cliff. This book should notbe able to push you over that edge but there is an edge, and thisbook is designed to tempt you towards it.Once over that edge, however rough, rocky and horrible thetruth of your experience may seem to you, however dark anddisillusioning it may become, it is basically impossible to everagain retreat into unawareness.Tantra is the most disillusioning of paths. The first illusions to goare often your expectations.23

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLSo do be a little careful with this book and its unorthodox andstrange ideas, beloved reader. The path of Tantra can thrill, chilland occasionally fulfil – don’t get too strung out if you find itsometimes makes you shiver, just a little.24

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKCommentaryWendy sat back from the screen. “Actually, I quite like it, Swami,although it is not exactly a conventional introduction.”“Conventional?”“Well, I was expecting something about the range of things calledTantra these days, and what we mean by the word.”“I don’t want to trouble my beloved readers with that. I think it ispretty clear in the world that there are a wide range of things thatare called ‘Tantra’. Part of their journey is their development ofgood discernment.”“Or the glimpses of the Divine that can happen in orgasmicstates?”“Every Tantra book I have come across belabours that to the pointof boringness. I am not writing specifically for beginners, and Idon’t like to repeat what is more or less common knowledge.”“I suppose, but what about people reading yours as their first?”“I think they will be fine. If they don’t like it, I hope it won’t turnthem off the topic entirely. I think it is those who have someexperience and are widely read that will have a tougher time.”“The full cup thing – because they are full of ideas beyond theirown experience?”“Yes, but also because they have encountered a wide range ofbeginner teachings. I do try to give some idea of the depths …where Tantra goes …”“But you give more emphasis to beginner work than describingour highest understandings and practices.”“I do. My focus is on what tantrikas need to learn, particularlywhat I find lacking in the books that are currently out there. I25

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLam not very interested in trying to impress anyone. I want toemphasise strong basics, especially being thorough with eroticwork. High philosophies, deity manifestation and delightful tricks… aren’t really my thing.”She laughed, but I failed to get the joke. She chuckled her waythrough her explanation. “Swami, your whole teaching is rootedin Advaita which is the highest philosophy. You are a teacher ofyoginis and dakinis who are Goddesses incarnate and you aredelightfully tricky in the extreme. ‘Not your thing’ indeed.”After she laughed a bit more, I tried again. “This is a book, and I’mnot trying to give anything like a full exposition of our ways, andwouldn’t want to, even if I could.”The laughter had stopped. “I just want to encourage a goodattitude with the basics – taking things step by step.”“More like quantum leap by quantum leap.” She grinned.“Thanks, Wendy” I smiled. “I like that line … and I think I knowhow to introduce us now.”26

Chapter 1Tantric touch workSo, come up to the lab and see what’s on the slab.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLCandles and incenseI parked outside of what looked like a normal Johannesburgsuburban home, ten minutes early, and exhaled.Traffic in Johannesburg was, in the normal course of things, farmore exciting than a sensible person would enjoy. Today, it hadbeen particularly intense.I sat and left the engine idling to keep the air conditioner going. Iwondered what I was doing here.I had accompanied Belinda more or less willingly to lectureson aliens, channellings of ancient magicians, Vedic astrology,cabalistic chanting, family constellating, satsangs, Indonesiancooking classes and other things we can do together. My habit wasto endure these silly things with good humour, in the service ofgood girlfriend relations.This Tantra fellow had been different. Clearly wigged out, but,weirdly, he had seemed to make sense every now and then.As the flow of cool air soothed me, I recalled the conversation Ihad had with Belinda on the drive back home.“So what would you rather start with?” she had asked. “Top-down,or bottom-up?”“Uh …” I was disconnected in reverie, thinking of his descriptionof an exercise they did on their retreats: hot kinky stuff describedas if he had been talking about woodwork.“You know. The two ways he said they work with beginners.”“Are we beginners?” I asked, slightly alarmed.“Well,” my beloved replied, “would you rather do your AdvancedUsui Reiki Attunements?“Err … no …”28

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Rolando Toro is visiting. Perhaps his Minotaur group thing?”“Very tempting … I like him, you know.”“Seriously?”“OK … no … sure … OK, Belinda beloved, I am a Tantra beginner.What do you suggest?”“Well, the top-down …” she wrinkled her nose disapprovingly.“I don’t like that phrase. He should call it ‘erotic inquiry’ orsomething … but I guess it can do for now. The top-downfollowing-the-thread-of-eroticism thing, I think we can mostlywork on at home.”“He did suggest that,” I agreed.“Yes,” she said, “except when there are things that are erotic butnot mutually … interesting.”We were silent for a while after that. Belinda seemed lost in herthoughts. Or in wondering what I was thinking.And, I was thinking. Could there be anything I was hot for, butnot yet aware of? Could there be … something that she would notbe into at all?Nothing specific came to mind – but I felt a kind of mental vertigoat just the idea of such … work being available.Valiantly attempting to raise an eyebrow, I joked, “So, what sickshit are you into that I would want to avoid?”She looked at me, startled, frowned, then said “What are youdoing with your face?”I stopped working on keeping the eyebrow up.She spoke slowly: “There could be things, darling. Not so muchthings that you or I would not be willing to play with. There couldbe things we might not want to explore with each other, at first,perhaps.”29

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Well, I can’t think of anything …”She interrupted me then. “Neither can I, right now, but stuff inus will be stirred up. That much is pretty clear. We may … weprobably will … find things in ourselves that we may not knowabout yet. If we play with this stuff, it is going to be scary, maybe,and maybe a bit weird.”“Second thoughts?”“No.” She frowned again. “I think that trying to avoid awareness issilly. Like Shrek says: Rather out than in.”“Crude, perhaps, but true,” I agreed.“Try this for crude,” she said, putting her hand on my crotchand squeezing insistently. The car lurched for a moment before Iregained control over it but not over my erection. I moaned, andrisked closing my eyes for a moment as lust swept over me.We drove the rest of the way home with no words. She keptsqueezing and stroking me with one hand, and touched herselfwith the other. I did my best to get us home alive, really fast.We did not even make it into the bedroom and when she came, justafter me, she shook with such an intensity that I wondered for amoment if she had perhaps been faking it on previous occasions.Afterwards, as she headed, still naked, to the shower, she turnedand smiled at me over her still glistening shoulder. In that moment,I felt her beauty as an almost physical impact. My breath chokedin my throat.“Next week,” she had reminded me then, “I fly to London. It wouldprobably be good for you to start while I am away.”So, I was here for ‘bottom up’ work. Challenging the mind’s viewsof love, intimacy and so on with direct, intimate, loving touch.My question thus answered, I got out of the car into the hotJohannesburg summer air and crossed the road.30

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSex: the lowest form ofloveAlmost everything we know of love is in the territory of mind.Some of it is conscious, and much of it lurks in subconsciousrealms. Working from that end, following eroticism and removingits illusions layer by layer is the top-down approach.The bottom-up approach works, quite literally, from the otherend.Sex is the lowest form of love. Being the lowest, most fundamentalform of love, it is the easiest to start with. Having gained awarenessof what love is, at this admittedly low level, we can then aspire toits higher expressions.Osho said:Sex is the seed,Love is the flower,Compassion is the fragrance.Being touched lovingly is probably the nearest we can get to anunambiguous direct experience of love.This area of tantric work is the most widely known and it ispractised in many forms.Settings vary from white-tile clinical with latex gloves andlubricants, to handspun cotton futons, draped saris and aromaticoils.There are many practitioners at every level of skill, intent, attitude,sexual orientation and lifestyle preference.There are always candles and incense. There is even an in-jokeabout that:31

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLQ: What is the difference between a Tantra massage and a regularmassage?Don’t know … or starts on some explanation …A: Candles and incense.Q2: What is the difference between tantric sex and regular sex?Tends to just ask for the answer this time.A2: Candles and incense.Most practitioners are healers. In modern Western culture, whichnow is pretty much the global culture, this work is compassionateand very necessary. The techniques of tantrikas and taoistsare hugely effective as treatments for the unfortunate effects ofcurrent cultural attitudes to sexuality.With their help, women suffering from vaginismus, an involuntary(sub-conscious, culturally induced) clenching of vaginal muscles,find their capacity to open. They find this capacity by revisiting thereasons why they once felt they had to be so very closed. This willnot, of course, guarantee that they will then want to be penetratedby their husbands.They can do wonderful things for men too. I have heard of a paperwhich documented research on a tantric technique by an accepted,highly qualified academic. She had explored its use as a cure forpremature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. On average, ittook just two sessions to heal these conditions. The paper wasrejected as unacceptable on account of pleasure being involved inthe treatment process.For male troubles, the medics have blue pills. For vaginismus,they inject toxins of botulism into the vaginal muscles. Thiskills the nerves to the muscles of the yoni. The circumventionof the woman’s natural defence mechanism is then regarded as asuccessful cure. She can now be entered at will.32

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKFor both sexes, the medics have ‘cosmetic’ (that word really needsto be in quotes) interventions.Most men who have a penis ‘enhancement’ (that word too!), do sobecause of how they want to look when in changing rooms withother men. It is strange that no one told them that penis size, evenin the locker room, generally has to do with the degree of arousalexperienced.For women, the surgery-sellers have defined the standards of whatsomething truly unique should look like, and trim off sensitiveand responsive bits to make things neater.The tantrikas of the healer persuasion may be facing toughtimes. The medical profession has a strategy of ‘owning’ medicalconditions, even lobbying for laws to make alternatives to theirprofitable treatments illegal. Medical marketing efforts have nowbecome very focussed on establishing their treatment regimensfor any conditions they manage to define as a sexual dysfunction.Some practitioners of these tantric arts are therapists. Similarto healers, they cure the medically defined conditions but placemore emphasis on coaching their clients/students in relationshipdynamics and sexual performance.Many are multi-disciplinary, coming to the work via psychologyand other branches of mental, physical and sexual therapy.There are magicians, shamans and sorcerers, some of whom areadept in the resolution of spiritual and psychological dilemmas.Others boost intentions and activate their clients’ creativityaround issues of health, wealth, success, sexual power, lovers andso on.Practitioners of these arts from all persuasions and inclinationsare remarkably effective, even with minimal training, minimalawareness of what they are working with and even when theirintent is questionable.Deliberate awareness brought to these practices is the key tounlocking their gifts.33

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThis awareness can be the practitioner’s or the client’s.Some people have experienced deep healing and profound insightswhile working with practitioners of no great awareness. Somepractitioners only discover the intrinsic compassion in their workthrough the responses and feedback they get from their clients.The whole being – body, nerves, mind and essence – is powerfullyaffected by touch. Babies can even die without it. The sense oftouch speaks to our most primitive and fundamental aspects ofbeing.We have a natural sense which detects the energies that accompanytouch. These are usually referred to as subtle energies. However,given the way we currently raise children, these senses seldomconvey more than a subconscious discomfort.We feel the genuine friendliness in some hugs, the respectfulpoliteness in others, and the reserve and fear in the reserved andfearful (who fortunately do not go in for a lot of hugging). Wefeel a delightful tickle right through our bodies at the touch of ahand on one occasion and flinch in revulsion at precisely the samephysical sensation on another.Our sense of touch and touching is richer, more evocative andmore deeply remembered than mere data about skin pressure canaccount for. Although we hint at this extra-sensory informationin language, especially in poetry, we do not really have a languageto describe it.When a sense is under-developed, and is then enhanced and madenoticeable, the brain takes some time to adjust the mapping ofthe new sense and to layer it into the world it renders. Before thisadjustment is complete, the incoming data is mapped to othersenses. This phenomenon is called synesthesia.This is why the chakras and other subtle and etheric phenomenaare often described as having particular colours and notes.Conscious touch techniques activate and enable this sense of whatin English we are pretty much stuck with calling energy, meaning34

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKthe subtle energy of the body and its interconnections, know toother cultures as prana and chi.The techniques of this ancient art derive their power fromtheir naturalness. They are not a form of training. They are anuntraining, a deconditioning.For seekers, they are a key to vistas of self-awareness. For many,surfing the shores of bliss is the whole of Tantra, and it is very niceindeed. For tantrikas worthy of the name though, the awarenessand capacity gained from touch work is just a beginning. Aprelude to the path.If there is, at minimum, the awareness that these practices areabout something deeper than conventional, culturally ‘normal’ sex… there is probably sufficient awareness to benefit from them.These techniques are extremely powerful even when they arepoorly understood and misapplied.When a skilled and experienced practitioner uses them, theybecome transcendent.35

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLSeven sessionsIn just seven days …Belinda had been gone for three weeks now, much longer thaneither of us had expected.What was supposed to have been a simple family visit had becomecomplicated. The day after she visited her great aunt, the old batpromptly left this world for wherever people go when they die.They had never been very close but her last contact with the oldwoman had touched Belinda deeply. She had extended her stay sothat she could attend the funeral.Over these three weeks, at considerable expense, I had been forseven sessions with Yogini Leela, obviously a nom de l’amour,titled a Yogini Adept according to the Tantra school’s website.This lovely woman, twenty-something, blond, and for most ofour sessions clad in a kimono-cut white robe, changed my life.She managed this in a total of just fourteen hours.At my first session, I was nervous. All jumps and twitches. She keptreminding me to breathe, to feel into the sensations and not to shyaway from them. Unrelentingly, she kept touching and caressing,pressing my increasingly frazzled nerves to accept an overload ofdelicious but screamingly intense, and sometimes, I had to admit,frightening sensations.Eventually, I succumbed as one does to intense pain. I yielded andmanaged to welcome the flood of sensation, enjoying it for a briefmoment.Suddenly, I convulsed, gasping as if drowning. Feelingsoverwhelmed me and tears flooded my eyes. The yogini cradledme in her arms while I howled and sobbed for the rest of the twohoursession.36

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKLater, with 20/20 hindsight I understood, sort of, what hadhappened to me. My body had been reminded of love withoutexpectations, conditions, implications and consequences. Justlove. The last time I had felt that, unambiguous in its purity, Imust have been about three. Partly, I was in shock from findingmyself (temporarily) regressed to childhood helplessness. Mostly,my tears were for the years during which my being had beenstarved of this basic root form of love.I am still surprised that I managed to go back for the second session.I was scared. Scared of having more emotional embarrassments.Scared of the sheer intensity of sensation. Scared of what Leelathought of me, so cramped and stunted in myself when comparedto her glowing openness. Most of all though, I was scared of fallingin love.At the end of the second session, I shared that fear with her. Shelaughed, and said “Of course. Completely natural. Sweet of you tomention it. Don’t worry.”“Don’t worry!” I squealed in protest. She was clearly not taking meseriously. “What do you mean, don’t worry?”She took my hand then and, after a moment of silence in whichmy levels of panic subsided almost against my will, spoke slowlywith solid emphasis. “Don’t worry. This too shall pass.”I continued to worry throughout the next few sessions, in betweenfeeling more than I had in years. Yogini Leela was relentless, urgingme to consciousness in the midst of extreme arousal, insisting thatI not only tolerate but actively welcome the waves of loving nervefire she sent sweeping though me. She seemed to be constantlychallenging me with the unspoken question: How much bliss canyou stand?Driving home after session six, I suddenly noticed the sensationof my hand on the steering wheel. I know that sounds silly, and itdid to me too. It still does, actually, just … my hand on the wheelfelt so … close, so real, so … loving. I realised that this was notconducive to responsible driving, so I pulled off to the side of the37

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLroad, parked and sat there, feeling this wonderful new intensity ofsensation and loving it.The sensation expanded. I felt the embrace of gravity, the lovewith which it held my body firmly in the hug of the car seat.Everything before my eyes showed itself as being suffused with a… a presence. A presence loving of and in everything. Moleculesof air kissed me all over, millions of times a second. I was nothaving this experience, I was this experience. In that moment, Iwas the lover of all and the beloved of all.That was the end of my worry. I walked into my seventh sessionfearless and looking forward to the yummy things that Leela wasgoing to do to me.It was only at the end of that session that I realised she had nottouched me at all. For the first hour or so, we had done a nakedgazing, in which I had slipped again into the all-lovingness I hadfirst felt a few days before, with the steering wheel.In the second hour, she introduced me to self-loving.It had never occurred to me that loving oneself could be takenso literally. I was surprised to find that I could evoke degrees ofsensation by myself that I had only previously experienced at herhands.This was nothing at all like my usual basic and functional habitof masturbation. I found that I could play my body’s energy likea musical instrument.At some point in that dance of sensual fire, I laughed, findingmyself thinking in terms of chakras and energy without needingquotes or italics. Almost as if I knew what these things were, andthen I realised … I did.She showed me how to gather the energy of approaching orgasmat my root chakra, then squeeze it there to a delightfully explosiveintensity as I breathed in. As per the directions she gave, I heldmy PC muscles tight, holding energy and breath until the need tobreathe became strong.38

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKAt this point, when the urge to breathe became a bit demanding,she encouraged ‘explosive relaxation’ by which she meant suddenlyrelaxing the PC contraction and exhaling. This sent a cascade oforgasmic bliss rushing from my root chakra upward/outwardthrough every cell in my body.After repeating this three times, my hot lusty energy abated andwas replaced by a suffusion of contentment. I noticed too that mylingam was contentedly semi-flaccid and I had not ejaculated. Ifelt deeply at peace.“That is called the draw,” she had informed me. “Sharing yourorgasms into your whole body instead having just a genitalsneeze.”I realised that when Belinda got back, she was going to be morethan a little surprised. Fortunately, she already liked candles andincense.39

Chapter 2Exploring eroticismErotic nightmares beyond any measureand sensual daydreams to treasure forever.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe ironmongerI was rubbing down the faux-aged copper finish of an ornateoutdoor table when the freaky, pretty-looking couple walked intomy workshop, a small concrete box in an industrial park on thecity outskirts. Last Saturday’s roadside market had been good forme and now, just moderately hung over, I was here at work onMonday, getting stock made for next Saturday.Just like most weeks, except when the hangover was bad, orpostponed altogether by staying drunk.“Hi.” Pointy black boots, very loose pants with no pockets, aleather pouch at the waist, skin tight vest, strongly defined butskinny muscle, no tits, long, long loose blond hair, tall, soundedmale.I looked at them and tried to remember back past the hangover.Vaguely … “Just this Saturday?” I asked. “Yes,” the other onereplied. This one, less tall but not short, was wearing tight jeansand a black velvet jacket. Hair cut shoulder length. The jackethung open, revealing a wisp of cotton half-shirt which tried,unsuccessfully, to cover small but definite tits.Now that they thought I remembered them, I guessed. “You wantme to make you a …”“bed,” she supplied, “a strong bed”.Grinning broadly, she held her hand out to me. “Leigh.”We shook, and she held onto my hand while she spoke. “We have adesign we would like you to make for us.” She let my hand go andcontinued without pause. “My husband …” I waved in the guy’sdirection who returned a “Hi” and a friendly smile but no name,“… has drawn something up.”This was all happening just a little too fast for my recoveringbrain. Is she on caffeine or cocaine? I wondered, a little resentful42

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKof her perky cheerfulness and all-business attitude. I reached out,slowly and deliberately, for the A3 sheet she offered and retreatedbehind it.The design was a bit strange but not bad if one was making thething out of wood. I work in iron. There was a double rail allaround, when a single one would provide all the strength thatcould be wished for. The angled bracing of the legs was excessiveand the two extra legs at the sides were completely redundant.Maybe they were looking for a carpenter. I said so.The one with the name … Leigh, looked at me seriously and said“We saw a bed you made at the roadside market. It would not lastus a week. Last month we broke a bed which was custom-madefor us from old teak railway sleepers.” Her features flashed intoan angry glare and her voice was fierce. “I have had enough ofsleeping on a mattress on the floor.”“Ok, ok.” I looked away from the pretty–angry face and turned thedrawing towards the guy. His nervousness at the moment of heranger had been palpable, but he recovered quicker than I did andstepped closer.I put the diagram down on the table I had been rubbing, wherewe could both look at it. “Let me show you what I mean. You wanttwo box-section beams running all around, and they are eachwhat, like …”“5cm,” he supplied. “I drew it to 1/10 scale.”“Serious overkill,” I asserted. “Even just one is overkill. Even if youare very athletic. Three-quarter-inch tube, just one, legs just atthe corners and forget that bracing at the head and foot. Iron isstrong, you know, and rigid.”“Tube for the second rail, maybe.” He was all seriousness. She hadwandered off and was looking around the workshop. “But thebox section frame, a cross underneath, a central leg and the legson the centre of the sides are essential, otherwise any board we43

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLuse will sag. Bracing just the head and foot underneath would beinsufficient …”I was losing patience. So maybe she liked to brag, or maybe theydid fuck like demons, but they did not need to park a car on thething.I interrupted him. “Maybe a 5cm angle iron for the base, if youneed serious strength.” I paused, and glanced back but she wasapparently no longer listening. “But it would be very heavy. Therail is totally unnecessary and so is the bracing.”Now she was looking at my only decoration, a trade calendar onthe wall featuring a full-figured blond- straddling a huge I-beam.He was watching her too. She turned, as if cued by our glance,swept her jacket back, put her hands on her (now revealed to begorgeously formed) hips and mimicked the calendar pose. In thesmoky light that streaked from the fibreglass panels in the roof, shelooked very sexy indeed. She wiggled a little in the pose, obviouslyenjoying being the distraction, then, while pouting most prettily,she addressed us.“Nothing but nothing is going to be allowed to sag anytime soon.And I insist …” She turned dramatically and stalked towards me.“I absolutely insist on inflexible rigidity.”Leigh beamed a smile which seemed to gather momentum as sheadvanced on us. I became aware that my mouth hung open andsnapped it shut. She came to the table and waved a finger in the airuntil we looked at it. The finger descended and our eyes followedit down to the page. It stopped, pointing at the contentiousbracing.She spoke. “This is necessary because, if I hold on here, and move,or am moved with some, let us call it passion, this …” she indicatedthe head of the bed, “will flex back and forth, and the legs, whichare all one piece with it, will dig holes in my gorgeous pine floor.Worse, they will squeak. The same will happen at the foot.”44

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKShe tapped her short, clean, sharp fingernail on the paper to keepour attention there and continued. “The rail is useful bracingfor forces in all directions but it is more necessary than that for…” She peered closer in the tricky light, studying the diagram,bending further over the table.I studied her tits which were completely revealed as the loosecotton under her jacket fell open. No cleavage as such but perkyand cute as puppies. If she held onto the bed head, and was ‘movedby passion’, they would move like … This happy chain of thoughtwas rudely interrupted by her suddenly slapping the paper.I broadened my view. Fortunately, she was focussed on the guy.He looked nervous. She looked stern – as stern as a school teacherconfronting dog-chewed homework.“Where are my hooks?”Between her brash directness, seductive asides, and him blushing,occasionally stuttering something intelligible, I gathered thatthe rail was for ropes, and the hooks were to enable their easyrepositioning.Her ideas on the look and finish were not my kind of thing at all.Her view, firmly expressed was: “I am buying an iron bed, and Iwant it to look like an iron bed that is made out of iron.”No, she did not want me to give it a bit of colour, a glow or somesparkle. Ugly leaden grey with industrial black grime was specified.Even my suggestion of antique twists of wrought iron work wasrebuffed. “That would compromise on rigidity, which you knowis important to me.”Facetiously, I suggested a spider web design for the head andto my horror she gave the idea serious consideration beforeannouncing:“No. I like it but it is too specific. I have a greater range thanthat, and so does he. We need clean functional lines with no biasinherent in the design. Bauhaus. A blank canvas for living on.”45

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe looked at me with a quirky half-smile. “That was an …”Slowly, steadily, she pronounced the word. “… analogy.” Teasingly,she added, “You understand big words?”“Sure.” I pointed at the now much scribbled-on plans.“Redundancy”.She leaned close to me and winked, then turned away and headedfor my desk. Looking back at me over her shoulder, her hair backlitand aglow, angelic, she said “Good. I hope you understand this bigword then: Negotiability.”46

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKEroticism, the lightin the darknessof everybody’s lifeThe first and most important thing to realise about your eroticismis that there is no sense at all in avoiding it. It is driven by whateverpart of your mind is subconscious in that moment. Many of thebody’s controls and responses are managed by subconsciousaspects, especially sexual arousal.This means that we are sometimes in disagreement with ourbodies. We try to force it to be aroused when it is nervous orbored. We try to suppress arousal when it seems inappropriate orinconvenient.This lesson urges you to correct a bias, an automatic tendencyyou are likely to have, a habit, of being in favour of restraint andsuppression.It is unlikely that you will find your true and natural urges andinclinations by simply dropping the trained-in cultural bias. It’sthe same as when steering a sliding car, it is necessary to applycounter-steering. Not as a permanent attitude but for just as longas it works, meaning that your experience brings you deeperawareness and dispels illusion. After that, your desires andinclinations will have less to do with what your mind borrowedfrom the culture, and will have more to do with you and yourflowering.To give a logical and mechanistic description of how this works, Imust refer to Pavlov. Pavlov has been banned in the Tantra Schoolas a subject for my talks on account of a very particular dakinihaving heard it “far too often”. I take a moment here to ask thatdakini to please skip the following few paragraphs, and I ask herto please note: I am writing it, not saying it.47

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLPavlov’s fame has much to do with his experiments on dogs,particularly the mental associations they make with being fed.When a bell had been rung at feeding time, ringing the bell atother times would produce a measurable physiological responsefrom the dogs: salivation.Even after discontinuing the bell ringing at meal times, thedogs would still reliably salivate when the bell was rung at anytime. More startlingly, when Pavlov provided something else toassociate with the bell ringing (note: not with feeding) the dogwould respond to this second layer of association, e.g. a blue lightflashing, as if it was the real thing – the food.The blue light has never flashed when food was actually deliveredbut the dog responds to the blue light by salivating. Pavlovexperimented to discover how many layers of false associations adog’s brain takes to be ‘real’. His answer: Seven.A major difference between a human and a dog is that we humanshave a far more complex and powerful brain which is far morecapable in this game of association than a dog’s brain is. We donot stop at just seven layers of falsehood. We layer associations ontop of our experience to a depth which significantly disassociatesus from our actual reality.We can chat with a therapist or use mind-training techniques toexplore our psychopathology around love and sex. Some insightcan be gained; some understanding can be had.If we want to explore deeply into the truth of sex and love, weneed a more direct and powerful approach. We need to directlyexplore that which we find erotic.Exploring one’s erotic urges in strong awareness is the fastestand most thorough method for dispelling the layers of trainedassociations we have around sex. Much has to be uncovered beforewe can experience sex in its pure form.Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that youreroticism will change as each layer of it is exposed as false. When48

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKthis happens, that particular flavour of eroticism becomes justpart of your range and capacity. It no longer rules you fromsubconscious depths. You can play with it and enjoy it, but you nolonger hunger for it.Step by step, a tantrika follows his or her eroticism, testing it in theultimate laboratory of personal experience, continually discardingthe false and approaching the real.There is of course a true and completely natural sexual impulsewithin you. There is a natural pattern with a natural beauty to theflowering and expression of that energy in your life. Finding thistruth, this naturalness, is intrinsic to the tantric quest. Taking thelight of awareness through the dark and unknown subconsciousrealms of the erotic is the method.This transition from eroticism to the naturalness of sex is thestart of true Tantra. The erotic sculptures on the temple wallsat Khajuraho were on the outside of the temple. Only when onecould walk around the temple without being attracted or repelledby any of the statues was one ready to enter the temple.If one got stuck, if one found a statue that had an allure, one couldmeditate on it, and perhaps get through that particular scenario. Ifnot, perhaps someone gorgeous would come along and meditateon the same statue …49

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHeavy metalShe was a tough negotiator indeed. Eventually, I agreed to maketheir over-engineered king-size extra-long bed for the price of aregular double. He was drifting around the workshop, smokinga small cigar, overhearing but not getting at all involved in ourdealing.I said it would take the rest of the week to make the monstrosity. Istuck by that, somehow, agreeing to deliver it on Friday afternoon.Clearly, for this alluring but scary young woman, instantgratification was just never fast enough.She beamed a smile at me and gentled her voice. “Thanks somuch, Joe. I know you will make me the perfect bed which willnot squeak or rattle, no matter what I do to him.”“No,” I managed, my tongue feeling clumsy and heavy in mymouth. “No, it will not squeak.”“But you will, darling,” she said, turning to her pretty companion.He was suddenly at her side, attentive.“You will most definitely squeak.” She paused, enjoying hisblushing discomfort. “I promise.”50

Chapter 3Totality in relationshipsI’ll put up no resistance,I want to stay the distance.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLAn infidelity“But, darling, I am not angry with you. Well, not furious, anyway,not anymore. Whatever you did with J is really between you two.None of my business.”“But I lied to you.” She was sobbing in my arms, the stress of herconfession being a lot harder for her than for me. I had alreadyhad a night out with a bottle of tequila and the supportivecompanionship of a good friend.“Yes. I was angry about that.” I was still, let us say, somewhat angryabout that.“Is that why you called me a nasty two-timing whore?”“Yes. That would have been why,” I answered. The cheating, lying,sneaky …“And an evil, lying, conniving bitch?” She sobbed, inconsolable.“Yes. I thought your lying to me about that was quite cruel.”“Not what I did with J?”“No.”Her tears miraculously ceased to flow, her eyes shone bright andalert. She sat up and set her face into the mask I had come to knowas strategic.“You mean it doesn’t bother you that I got so intimate with J?”She paused. I waited. I figured there was more of the question tocome. There was. “We did things that you and I have not done …”I possibly did not want to hear too much detail, so I interrupted.“Yes, sure it bothers me. Mostly, it bothers me that if that is whatyou wanted, you could have mentioned it. We have been marriedsix years now. Is there really anything you would like that you feeluncomfortable to ask me for?”52

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKShe knew all about answering a question with a question, so shepolitely ignored mine and asked a question of her own: “But notthe basic fact that I fucked him?”“No. I might, if I felt threatened, if I felt I was being replaced. I justcannot seem to take J seriously as a threat. He is cute, I suppose,and he writes bad poetry …”“Gorgeous poetry.”“But am I wrong? Could you replace me with him and behappy?”We played the steady gaze game. Usually, I lost, but not this time.Just a few seconds, and she glanced down.“No. I suppose not. No stamina. Great build-up, wonderfulanticipation, gorgeous words, but … ultimately … more whimperthan bang.”I manfully refrained from comment as my ego gently swelled, butnot for long. This fine woman seldom slipped up in the detectionand destruction of ego department.“On the other hand, J is more adventurous than you and is moreexciting, more excited and more interested …”I started to protest but was silenced with a glance as she continued,“… in more than athletic accomplishment. Interested in deeperintimacy, greater exposure, richer emotions.”She gave this time to sink in. It did sink in. Somewhat painfully.Life with me had been rough for her, these last few years. Mostly,she had been at home with her mother, her mother’s maid andour young children for company. A far cry from her previous life,surrounded by the fawning admirers any sexy young actress has totolerate as part of her job.“Ok.” A good start. I continued in a slightly forced spirit ofacceptance and tolerance … “I know you had your reasons. Forbeing a sucker for poetry, for fucking him and for lying to me about53

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLit all.” The acceptance and tolerance faded a bit as I continued.“Fucked up reasons I think, of course.” Acceptance and tolerancemanaged a belated comeback. “But then, they are your reasons.”“And you think my reasons are?” she inquired, as if from highground.“Well …” I hesitated, considering, as every husband often must, theappropriate depth and degree of truth which should be broughtto the situation. The bitch-beloved did an impatience thing withher eyebrows. I had not got far with calculating what responsewould be politic. Nothing for it but the truth.“Your life, I have heard, is unexciting and dull. You miss theattention. You miss having to fall in love with a new leading manon each production.”“About half right.” Her voice was silky soft. “It is not so much thatattention that I miss though. I miss your attention.”Sweet, but puzzling. While I thought about this my mouthhappened to be open, so my thoughts came out. “But I live here.We are married …”She interrupted my rambling.“Bullshit. You never get home before sunset. You eat and then youdrink beer and watch TV. Then you fall asleep. In the morning,you vanish.”“I work hard. That is why my salary has doubled each year for thelast four years. We do have weekends and holidays. We do havetime together. We have money. Maybe even enough money …”“Well, it is just not enough for me. I want you more than that.I think you want me more than that too.” She looked at me,pleadingly, hungrily. She dug her fingernails deep into my innerthigh. An explosion of pain and erotic heat rushed through me.I looked at her in surprise. She looked deep into my eyes andinquired “Is it enough for you?”54

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Well, no. But what can we do?”As I replied, her nails moved steadily up my thigh. Her other handunfastened my belt and took firm hold of my sudden erection. “Ihave some ideas,” she said, “but we can talk about that later. Fornow, lie still and don’t fight me.”I did not fight. At the first touch of her mouth, I shuddered myway through an intense and completely involuntary orgasm. Shetightened her hand firmly around my penis with a focus on itsunderside, clamping the urethra. She pressed the knuckles of herother hand into my perineum. She held firm against the pressureof my ejaculation and gently withdrew her mouth’s caress.In the third or fourth gap between the pulses of my ejaculation,she slid her hand down my penis and rolled her knuckles overmy perineum, forcing my ejaculate back to where it was tryingto come from. She followed the next pulses perfectly, rolling theknuckles and sliding her hand to keep the reflex going. After along time, my orgasm passed and the contractions of my prostatesubsided. My urethra tingled with the pressure it was under andthe damage it had probably suffered.“When one is dealing with limited resources, one learns ways ofmaking the most of them,” she announced in a sweet tone. “Ofcourse, with you, more is possible.”She released the pressure on my perineum and cupped the tip ofmy penis with her palm. She released her grip. I shuddered andtwitched all over again as my body realised that my ejaculationhad not finished. She massaged my now very well-lubricatedpenis between her palms. Twisting and swirling strokes aroundthe head of my penis delivered sensations of extreme intensity. Ashort while later, I realised that not only was another ejaculationgoing to happen … it was going to happen soon.“But what about you?” I gasped. “Don’t fight me,” she said.I accepted my situation. I did not fight.55

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“So,” she said, as I basked, somewhat dazed, in a deeply deliciousafterglow, “what you must do first is choose. Choose me … orthat fucking job. If you choose the job, I will just have to makedo with J.”56

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe tantric attitude oftotalityI have come across teachers with all sorts of views on how tantrikasshould practice and what their sexual lifestyles should look like.Some advocate communality and others, celibacy. Some teachTantra for couples while others insist that Tantra for couples is likeflower arranging for rottweilers.Non-monogamy seems to suit tantric practitioners best. Thisapproach to relating and loving takes considerable bravery andbrings awareness at a serious pace. It is a direct challenge to theillusions of ownership, need, dependence and control.On the downside, non-monogamy can be used to avoid strongemotions and the closeness that is necessary to evoke them. Mostof us need to experience a ‘conventional relationship’ or two, orthree before we can manage deep intimacy without the illusionsof safety and permanence.I have known tantrikas who suffered guilt on account of havinga special beloved, a first-choice lover. I have known child-rearingseekers who judge themselves harshly for their attachment tofamily and their lack of lovers outside of their marriage. I havedone that myself. Such nonsense. What matters is not how yourlife is structured but the sincerity and intensity you bring to livingit.Practise with what life presents you with. Your current eroticism isyour primary guide. Where you are is where your journey begins.Repression means driving something from awareness andremoving it from consciousness. Restraint intensifies experienceand brings awareness. Repression results in ignorance. Restraintcan dispel ignorance.57

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLPolyandry, polygamy, swinging, monogamy, celibacy, chastityand all other lifestyle options are just choices between differingdegrees and styles of restraint.Most people who experiment with alternative relationshipstructures do so out of a desire to make life more loving, moresupportive and more emotionally satisfying. Tantrikas do so inorder to discover the truth of love. We explore with a willingnessto encounter the difficulties of the alternatives and to learn fromthem.Taking an attitude against jealousy and sexual ownership, forexample, may lead to some interesting sexual encounters. Itwill definitely lead to an immersion in jealousy, complete withopportunities to pass through the jealousy and discover the truthof it.If you feel constrained by a choice you made, either make a freshchoice or commit with a will to the choice you made and therestraint it implies.Some years ago, I was at a braai (South African barbecue) withsome friends. One of them, a married man, was complainingabout his lack of a sex life. With the help of alcohol, his referencesto this became crude and ugly.I took him for a little walk, so that we could talk in private. I urgedhim to take some responsibility for his feelings in the matter. If hissex life was inadequate, I suggested, he should rather make use ofthe local brothel. I helped him explore this notion, unpleasant tohim though it was.He did concede that the necessary deception would surely be lessdamaging to his marriage than his increasingly ugly behaviour.I then suggested an alternative: that he take the constraint ofhis marriage vows with an attitude of sincerity and accept the(in)frequency of sex in his life for what it was, without anyavoidance, objection or intention to escape. I pointed out thatthis involved trust and responsibility. Trust in the process of life58

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKand responsibility for maintaining his awareness. His marriage, Isuggested, could then become something he chooses as a spiritualdiscipline, instead of an unconscious unhappiness, suppresseduntil alcohol is imbibed.Finally, I told him that I had no preference between these choicesand was not particularly interested in which one he made.Perhaps a year later, he shared with me that he had made thesecond choice. He had made a discipline of not whinging aboutsex. Instead of blaming his wife for failing to fulfil him, he hadbeen taking responsibility for his own feelings and desires. He hadeven learnt to take himself in hand from time to time. He hadfound that when desire is suppressed, it turns into hungry craving.He had learnt that there is pleasure in just desiring … that desireas such is a delight in itself and does not require release.If, for whatever reason, you choose, for now, to be involved in arelationship which adheres more or less to the standard guidelinesof the culture, do not despair. Even if monogamy is involved,things can be intensified. Totality can be approached. Awarenesscan be gained.59

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHot monogamyI resigned from my yuppie job the next day, to my employer’sgreat annoyance. The home industry we had started some yearsago now supplied a few hundred shops. Financially speaking, mysalary was nice to have but not necessary. It was also likely that Icould match it or even improve on it by working as a freelancer,with much easier hours.A major incentive too, was the possibility of getting to know myyoung children on a more than casual basis.Nonetheless, I was far from pleased. Even though, in truth, thesechanges suited me perfectly, I was resentful at being, as I judged it,forced to make such extreme changes.I decided, in the interests of harmonious marital relations, todiscuss the matter further with my beloved.“You insist on the monogamy rules for me, break them foryourself, and then get me to sacrifice a career that was, by theway, looking very respectable. In exchange, I get to live with youand our children. Is that the extent of your demands, terrorist?”Perhaps that is a little harsh, I thought to myself. No matter. Sheappeared completely unruffled by my accusation.“Oh no, dear. It is just the beginning. We are taking a week awaytogether at Oom B’s, so I can explain.” She smiled at me warmly,her beautiful features unmarred by her villainy. “I am sorry if youare upset.”“What do you mean by sorry and what do you mean by a weekaway? I have things to do … a computer to buy and a businessto launch, just for a start.” I was sounding a bit loud, and notentirely coherent. Nonetheless, I continued manfully, protestingmy pussy-whipped reality: “Not to mention the kids. And … just… without even discussing it. Well?”“I am sorry. Was that a question?”60

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“I … I … I …” I gave up.After giving me a look that seemed to question my sanity, sheexplained the arrangements. In essence, they amounted to ourfirst week alone together in five years. I maintained my dignity bynot getting excited. Or grateful.It had taken serious negotiations with her extensive Afrikaansfamily to arrange this.Oom B’s bush retreat, a four-bedroom house in a private estatewith fences open to the beasts of Kruger Park was in great demandwith his multitudinous offspring.Settling into the place, turning on water and gas, stocking thefridge and the other little chores went smoothly and quickly. Thistime there was no need to continually prevent two young childrenfrom returning to the wild, where they thought they belonged andprobably did. There was even time for a shower and change ofclothes before nightfall, although it was hardly necessary after theeasy four-hour drive.During the half hour it takes night to fall in Africa, we gorged onfat Machadodorp trout that we had bought en route. The starscame out as if they really meant it.We lit paraffin and gas lamps, sat on the stoep, shared a joint of thelocal veldtwak and enjoyed the sounds of the wild. It was hard tostay resentful in that setting. I relaxed a bit.“I am glad you arranged this break. Thank you. It really is veryspecial out here, especially without the kids.”She gave me a look that conveyed indulgent loving tolerance, gotup and went into the house. I heard sounds of ice and glasses.Soon, two beer shandies glowed in the gaslight along with twomuch smaller glasses from which came a strong aroma of peaches.I raised a suspicious eyebrow.“I found his mampoer.”61

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLI feigned shock. “Have you no limits, woman?”“Funny you should mention it. That is kind of what I brought youout here to discuss.”She raised her small glass. I did likewise. She proposed: “To theheat, the passion and the lust that is the symptom of our love.”Our eyes locked. We drank.We witnessed the shock in each other’s eyes. “Did I pour draincleaner by mistake?” she gasped.“No,” I croaked, my throat afire. “Drain cleaner is a lot smootherbut less tasty. Also, drain cleaner can be bought legally.”“And this can’t?”“No. On account of its strength.”“That is probably a good thing.”We took time to drink greedily at our shandies. This soothed theworst of our internal burns.“It was fancy and a bit dramatic, I know, but I do mean it,” shesaid.“What … you want to take up drinking mampoer?” I inquired,alarmed.“No.” She chuckled. “My toast.” She gave me time to remember.“Oh. Yes. Lovely sentiment. Thank you.” I meant it.“Glad you liked it.” She kept eye contact and smoothly transitionedher features from lovingly open to seriously intent. “I do hope youare going to like what I brought you out here for. Before I suggestour solution, let me outline our problem.”“Ok.” I felt very set up but happy to be set up. Happy to shut upfor a while, too.62

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Good.” She sat back, took a swig of her shandy and, as we used tosay in the sixties, laid it on me.“Basically, you are polygamously inclined and I am monogamouslyinclined. You can be attracted to more than one woman at a time,and you can’t act on it because, as you well know, I am insanelyjealous.”No kidding, I thought. I was being careful to close my mouth whennot drinking, in order to prevent my thoughts from automaticallybecoming words.“I, on the other hand, can’t, at present anyway, enjoy more thanone man at a time. I have your permission, blessing and even yourencouragement to explore other loves if I so wish, but … I have tofall out of love with you to be open to anyone else. Then I have tofall out of love with them to get back with you.”She paused and lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply. She lookedappealingly vulnerable. I managed to keep quiet. Soon, hercomposure restored, she continued.“I did not enjoy having to get grumpy with you so that I couldenjoy J, or A, or W … or … well, you get the idea. The emotionalstrain of doing that every time takes all the fun out of the game.”I had time to consider this while she fetched more cans of beer andlemonade from the gas-powered fridge. Topping up our glasses,she continued her description of our predicament.“We have explored stretching the definitions of our marriage.You have explored falling in love with your work. I have exploredfalling in love with other … things. I think our answer lies, ifanywhere, in the opposite direction.”We sipped in silence for a while. I could have argued with herstatement, but it would have been a petty and pointless exercise.Basically, she had expressed our situation accurately. Also, I wasbecoming intrigued, now that my grumpiness was receding.“Opposite direction?” I inquired.63

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes. What if we took our marriage and the monogamy seriously?What if we accepted it with all its implications?”“Um …” I interrupted, then realised that I probably did notunderstand. I changed my protest to a question. “Implications?”“Well I suppose, for example, that if I were to take our monogamyreally, really seriously, I would regard myself as responsible foryour sexual satisfaction. Solely responsible. I would be on the spot,committed, to making at least a wholehearted effort to attemptanything you would want to do, whenever you wanted to do it.You could be motivated by passion, lust, the sweetest love, or evenjust curiosity. Your motivation would not really be my concern.Just my willing participation.”I discovered that I was not breathing, and gasped for air. Shelooked at me, expecting comment. I choked on the air andcoughed. Realising that I was currently incapable of speech, shesmiled warmly, took a sip of her shandy and continued.“We will have a lot more time together from now on. There areseveral hours each day with no children in the house.”I considered this. She was right, there would be time. Lots of timefor … whatever I wanted?She looked deeply into my eyes. My thoughts flickered from thesublimely sexy to the outrageously perverse. It seemed as if hereyes gathered all my imaginings, my visions.She said “Yes. To everything. To all of it. Think about it … If I amthe only outlet you are allowed, it is only fair, surely.” I nodded inagreement, there being insufficient blood in my brain for a morecomplex response.“But,” she continued, “it would have to be reciprocal. Monogamyis supposed to be a fair and balanced deal. You would have to dothe same for me.”In the absence of a response from me, even though my mouthhung open, she supplied one for me. “And that would mean?” And64

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKproceeded to answer it without giving my poor reeling brain anytime at all for recovery.“It would mean that you do your honest best for my satisfaction,within your abilities. Even if you think something I want you todo is childish, silly or indulgent. Even if you find it difficult orjudge it strange. The way I see it is that I am responsible for askingfor what I want, and I must take the risk of wanting things youmight judge …”“Or, more likely perhaps, things that you might judge yourself forwanting,” I managed.“Just so.” She paused, looking at me thoughtfully. Implications ofwhat she was saying were starting to sink in. Another one of themfound its way to my brain’s speech centres.“I find that aspect, of perhaps exposing myself to you as a terriblepervert or worse, a little daunting. It is seriously exciting though,to have the opportunity.”She beamed, and exclaimed delightedly “Yes. You get it! You doraise a bit of an issue though …” She frowned in concentrationfor a moment then brightened once again. “Well, if we agree thatanything at all may be worth exploring, we could try things justto see. We need to give each other permission without judgement.Freedom to try things even just to check that they are indeedwrong, perverse or horrible.”I said, “That sounds maybe just a bit scary.”“More scary than what we have been living lately?”“Well … no …”“How about we give it a try and see how things go?” shesuggested.“Yes. Ok. Sure. How do you suggest we start?”65

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“I was thinking that we would probably just go with things as theycome up. But I have changed my mind. I think we should givethings some structure, at least at first.”I raised my inquiring eyebrow. She swallowed the last of hershandy.“We have six days here. I suggest that for three days, your wish ismy command, and then we switch for the next three days.” Shegrinned wickedly. “My three days.”“Why me first?” I asked“Because, if what I see in your jeans is anything to go by, you won’targue.”I thought about this for a while. A very short while. “OK. And,yes, beloved, I definitely have a lot of good use I would like to putyou to.” What I had said was true, but not at all expressive of whatI wanted of her, if her offer was honestly meant … I decided tostart over.“Sorry. I would like to express myself a bit more clearly. Right now,tonight, I want to fuck you with no regard or concern for yourpleasure or preference. I want to come in you or on you as manytimes as I like … and then have you suck me gently to sleep.”I had never expressed myself that directly, that crudely, that …honestly ever before. To her, or for that matter, to any woman.She grinned. “Fuck me! He can be taught.” She gave me a long,steady, level look. “I do so very much like being wanted.”I had half expected a renegotiation, a redefinition of her terms.I studied her features for any sign of reserve, any indication ofinsincerity. There was none. She was raising the stakes of thegame, it seemed, and challenging me to play.Lust pounded in my loins.66

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“I know you are angry with me, and I want to make things up toyou. I want you to make me yours again, after where … where Ihave been.”She dipped her eyes shyly, sipped at her shandy, then dazzled mewith her most radiant smile.“Would you like me ashamed and very, very sorry, perhaps withprotested innocence, yet utterly yielding,… or … would you prefer me to be a cock-hungry slut?”I reached for my drink and felt my hand start to shake. I decidednot to attempt to lift the glass.“Let me help you make up your mind.”She formed her face into a picture of hurt innocence. With wideeyes and a slight tremble to her lower lip, she said “I did somebad things, but … it is not fair to blame me.” My heart melted. Ifell in love. She leaned closer to me and touched my cheek witha delicate, yielding softness and said, “I had to … I couldn’t helpit and couldn’t stop it. I want to make it up to you. I will try anddo anything you want, but please, please … don’t hurt me toomuch.”The sweet, contrite darling. Of course I would never hurt her. I feltanother surge of lust, and was a little shocked at my eagerness totake advantage of this vulnerability. Suddenly, I wanted to orderthat beautiful, sweet, delicate mouth to open wide, and as forthose protectively crossed legs …The sweet contrite darling snapped out of her performance as ifa director had yelled, “Cut!” She closed her eyes, her expressionthoughtful, then opened them and inspected my hopeless at pokerface at her leisure.“Or.”She ran her hands through her hair, dragging strands of it forward,over her face. She gave her head a quick shake, which threw most67

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLbut not all of her hair back. A few untidy wisps curled in towardsthe corners of her mouth.Her mouth no longer looked innocent. Her lower lip hung in anindolent pout. Her teeth were slightly parted. Gaslight reflectedoff a hint of pink tongue. Her eyes moved slowly, heavily. Shespoke, slowly and clearly, with just the slightest touch of alcoholin her pronunciation.“Darling, I never meant to hurt you. Whatever J and W and theothers were, they were not you. They were just … there … then.”As she spoke, she touched a finger to her lower lip. Pulling itslightly downward, she revealed its soft, moist inner surface.“I would very much like to do whatever it takes to make it up toyou. Whatever it takes.” She closed her lips lusciously around herfingertip.Lust overwhelmed me. I wanted to shove my cock deep into thathungry, pouting mouth. I wanted to throw her face down on thetable and fuck her until … logic intruded. Or perhaps it was fear,masquerading as logic.“But …” I stammered, logic fighting lust, “you do them sobelievably … they seem so different, and so different from you…” I wondered why I was talking. Lust was insisting that I shutup. Now.“And what, then, would be the real me, I suppose?”I nodded. With a stage-dramatic sigh, she deigned to explain.“Every role I ever played was me while I played it. Everything youhave just seen is me.” Another sigh. “Leave the existential angst ofthe quest for identity to the professional.”I hurriedly agreed to do so.“When do you suggest we begin?”“As soon as you make up your mind.”68

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Well, to start, I think, for tonight at least, I would like the hungryslut.”She stood up in front of me, legs spread, and took my hand. Sheguided it under her skirt and pressed it between her legs and said,“There is something I would like you to notice, just in case youhave any doubts about what is real for me. Only a really hungryslut could be this wet. Only a desperate one would bring it to yourattention.” She curled her hand over mine, pushing my fingersinside her and leaned back, closing her eyes. “Mmm … moreplease,” she sighed. She pulled my hand hard against her, grindingand driving my fingers into her depths.I withdrew my fingers gently but decisively and looked her in theeyes. I sucked at my fingers and smiled at her. “Well, you do tastegood enough to fuck. Would you like that?”“Yes,” she replied, dropping to her knees, pulling my belt buckleloose. “Very much … please.”“You seem so sincere, and you do taste good. I wonder how deepyou will go in this performance. Stand up.” She did. “Turn around.”She did. “Spread your legs.” They trembled. “Hands on the floorplease … legs further apart. Walk your hands a little back. Tiltyour arse up. Higher … higher … good. Hold that pose now. Nomoving.”I leaned forward in my chair, and traced a finger up each of herinner thighs. When I reached wetness, I pressed harder into herthighs and slid my fingers along them more slowly. Her legstrembled and I chuckled. I wiped the two fingertips and then myhand up and down the slippery upper half of her thigh.She moaned, loudly, and her legs shuddered. “Stop thatimmediately,” I demanded. “It’s your own fault for being such aslut. I haven’t even touched your cunt, and it is dripping halfwaydown your legs.”She moaned again. Deeper this time. More despairingly. Shearched her back, her buttocks parted even further. She never69

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLwore panties. I flipped her skirt over her back, revealing the cutestpink dot of an anus and a wonderfully engorged, pouting cunt.I pressed my right hand into the centre of her slipperiness andfanned my fingertips, sliding them slowly and steadily back andforth from her clitoris to her anus. Light at the clit, through thesoftest wetness, then heavier over her little button of an anus,which contracted reflexively as each fingertip went over it. Herlegs shook violently and almost buckled. I stopped the stroking.She gasped an apology. I slapped her bum lightly a few times,adding emphasis to my words.“You want to be fucked but you wobble all over the place beforeI have even felt inside you. And what a sight you are. Drippingwet and your cunt is actually gaping. Be still a moment. Very still… yes. I can put a finger inside you without even touching thesides.”I curled my finger until it touched the wall of her vagina. She heldfirm but panted heavily. I circled my fingertip slowly around thehollow cavity, commenting as I went.“This is pretty impressive. Your cunt has pulled itself completelyopen. It is really gaping. Shameful … but close up, it is really quiteappealing. It does feel good, you know. Maybe even good enoughto fuck.”“Please,” she pleaded, “please fuck me. Please fuck my hungrygaping slutty cunt … please.” She sounded sincere. How on earthdid she deliver such porno lines with such feeling, I wondered. Ibelieved her. It seemed her body believed her too. My finger felther vagina contract powerfully. She was clearly on the edge oforgasm.“I think I will fuck you, beloved. To convince me, just keep stilland do not come for the next minute or so.”Three fingers slid easily into her. I curled them in turn over her Gspot and the ridges surrounding it, keeping an intense rhythm.70

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKI leaned forward and rested my cheek on her bum. I reachedunder her with my free hand and scraped my fingernails over herbelly, from groin to nipples. I pinched around her clit, and pulledon her nipples.When her orgasm had clearly started, I withdrew my fingers, andwatched. She cried out, “God no. Fuck me, you bastard!”“I am watching you come, darling. It really is quite beautiful. Bestill now, yes, I can see it … I see contractions moving throughyour cunt. Your arsehole is pulsing in time with the contractions.Very pretty, that.”She moaned deeply and tried to stand up. I pushed her back down.“No. Stay in this pose.” I had my hands on her buttocks, spreadingher to better see the agitation of her orifices.“You are magnificent! That is so unbelievably gorgeous. Stopshaking.” I watched until the fluttering had completely subsided.She whimpered, raised her bum higher, pivoted her heels outward,straining herself wide open. “Please fuck me. Please …”“I am sure that wasn’t satisfying, and it is your own fault. If youhad not come, you would be getting all the cock you could handleby now. Stand up and come inside.”I stood up, arranged my somewhat painful erection morecomfortably in my pants, gathered our empty glasses onto a trayand took them inside. I left the tray on the kitchen table, strippedmy clothes off, reclined on a couch in the lounge, and asked herto kneel beside me.I played with her nipples while I told her that I was enjoying hervery much indeed, that her heat was truly delicious, and that I hadnever wanted to fuck her as much as I did at this moment.“But,” I said, stroking from her nipples to her throat, “to do thatright now would be a waste. I want to be able to fuck you deep andlong, without such urgency.” I stroked my fingers past her throat,to her mouth. I pressed her lips apart with the pad of my thumb.71

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLWhile I spoke, she caressed it with a gently stroking tongue andsatin lips.“Use your hands and your mouth. Don’t hold back or try to paceme. Get me to come as soon as reasonably possible and …” Ihesitated and nearly chickened out, then firmed my resolve, anddemanded, “… and make sure you swallow every drop.”And so the evening went. By the time I fell asleep, my penissoftening in the tender gentleness of her deliciously delicatemouth, I was deeply exhausted and my anger was completelypurged.In the morning, I gently tongued around her clitoris until itswelled and she stirred. She woke and reached for me. I penetratedher immediately. She came to orgasm with me in just a fewminutes. Afterwards, she held me tight and shuddered while hertears flowed. It took a while before I could make out that she wassaying thank you.Later, over breakfast, she chattered happily. “It is an unusualmedium, to be sure. Deeper, more demanding and far moresatisfying than any other. Only one person gets to experience aparticular performance, but, in the nature of the art, only onecould. Great connection with that audience of one though …and a whole new level of audience participation. Very hot. Steamyhot.”Six days later, we returned home very much married, very much inlove, very interested in our future together, and very, very tired.72

Chapter 4Trauma and sexual healingThrill me, chill me, fulfil me.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLLittle girl’s pantiesIt was an unusual fantasy in that it did not come complete with aback story and a climactic conclusion. It had no plotline and noapparent connection to her reality. This fantasy consisted of justmomentary flashes of imagery and imagined sensation.It was strange for her to have images of young girls and particularlytheir plain cotton panties coming to mind when she was makinglove or masturbating. The most disturbing thing was howabsolutely, fabulously hot she felt at those moments, how intenseand, well, thorough her orgasms had become since these troublingimages came along.What followed these overwhelming moments was a feeling ofdeep shame, although that was, if the truth be told, nothing new.Because she was a powerful, rebellious and brave young woman,she ignored her feeling of shame. She was not going to startyielding to her parents’ conservative Christian guilt-trip any timesoon. That would be shameful indeed.Because her lover was adventurous, she mentioned it to him onelazy, cosy winter afternoon.“I would love to see you in innocent white schoolgirl panties …with the little skirt … yummy.” He nuzzled her neck and strokeda hand up her leg. “Have you been a good little girl?” he asked ashe grabbed and firmly squeezed a handful of her inner thigh. Hestopped nuzzling and looked her in the eyes, the large grin on hisface expanding.“You sick man,” she chided. “Paedophile!” He moved his hand toher crotch, and pressed his palm gently against her pubic bone. Hecurled his fingers. They reached almost to her anus. He squeezedgently and gazed deep into her eyes, which told him the truth.She confirmed it with her words. “I love you, you wicked, bad, badman.” She melted into her horniness.74

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThey made love for the second time that afternoon. She had usedthe bidet after their earlier bout, so she was a little surprised at howwet and open she was. Unusually, there was no pain or discomfort.Her orgasm happened easily with no bruising pounding required.It was also disturbingly intense.Afterwards, they cuddled until the sun went down and his taxiarrived to take him to the airport. Shortly after he had left, she feltthe familiar shame and despised herself for feeling it. It was harderto ignore than usual. She despised herself for that too.In the middle of the week, she received an email from him. Asplanned, he was going to fly back to her in a few days’ time.He asked her to fetch him at the airport, so that they could goshopping. He also asked her to get her pubic hair waxed.75

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe tantric time warpTime is not truly a linear progression, say the quantum and moremodern physicists. They also say that each moment has parallelmoments in which everything that can happen does happen. Allpossibilities happen – a branching of realities like the endlessbudding of coral. Looking backward in time, there is a branchingof the multiple probable pasts which could have given rise to thismoment. Looking forward, there is a branching of futures whichcould follow from this moment.The past can be revisited. Whatever was resisted at the time can beaccepted. Acceptance removes the effect of the resistance betweenthe time it happened and the present. The effect on the body andmind of the intervening period of pain, hurt and resistance isretroactively removed.The potential pasts and futures of any moment all have varyingdegrees of probability.It is possible to find something to be strongly probable lookingfrom now to a time 30 years ago, that was not at all a strongprobability when you viewed your past at a moment 20 years ago,looking ten years back.Psychologists glimpse these truths occasionally when their patientsrevisit and face troublesome past events. In the BDSM (Bondage,Domination, Sadism & Masochism) sub-culture, the revisiting ofa traumatic experience to find psychological release is known as‘sexual healing’.The eroticism we have as adults draws us to face, revisit and acceptour past traumas – that which we found impossible to acceptwhen it happened. We do not have to have had abusive parents,Uncle Pervies or religious schooling in our childhood for us tohave experienced psychological trauma. Even a childhood withoutspanking and other obvious abuse has moments and events that76

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKcannot be faced and accepted with the nascent psychologicalresources of a young child.The boarding schools which were fashionable among the Britishelite until a few decades ago provide a sterling example of thisrelationship between childhood trauma and eroticism. Boysas young as four were sent far from home to an environmentwhere the rules were enforced through liberal use of the cane.Their resulting penchant for being called a naughty boy, beinghumiliated and spanked, flogged or caned is well known.In most of our lives, things are not so neatly presented. Most,or at least many of us, have not been directly, deliberately orsystematically brutalised in such obvious ways. We have beenbrutalised and abused too but in a less uniform range of ways.What we find to be brutal and abusive in our early lives dependslargely on our personal calibration. Basically, whatever was toointense and strong an experience for us to handle, in terms ofthe physical sensations and emotional intensity, is our ‘trauma’.It is what we are later unconscious of, but which keeps trying,through our body and its erotic responses, to get itself noticedand resolved.My daughter came to visit me one day when she was thirteen orso. She had been busy with some introspection and had found adeep memory. A childhood memory of abuse … by me. I acceptedand welcomed her blame, acknowledged her anger and waited forher tears to ease. When she was more coherent, I got the story, andlearnt what I had done that she felt so hard about.When she was around four years old, I would return from workin winter, park my motorcycle and take off my helmet and gloves.My hands would be cold, but not unpleasantly so, to me. When mydaughter ran to me squealing delightedly that “daddy is home”, Iwould pick her up, hands encircling her waist and say, “What haveI got?” She would wriggle in my hands, shiver, gasp at the suddenchill and stutter “c-c- (gasp) c-c-cold hands.” I would put herdown, not wanting to hug her to my cold hard bike leathers. She77

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLwould run away, squealing (to my ears) delightedly. I would thenget on with greeting the rest of my family.My daughter was not pleased when I suggested that this was,perhaps, not a really serious incident of child abuse. She supportedher point of view by fetching ice from the freezer and dumping itdown my shirt back. This helped my understanding. I apologisedmanfully and completely concealed any signs of mirth.Abuse is a personal standard and it is set by the things we foundtoughest to accept. It is that which was beyond our capacity tofully experience at the time and had to be put away for later.Anything overwhelming will do, even tickling! I have heard thattickling is now regarded as child abuse by therapists in somecountries. Tickling even has its own internet fetish community attickleabuse.com.If you work consciously with your eroticism, it is likely that yourmemories will reveal several incidents in your childhood thathave this abusive quality. This can be unpleasant, confronting andfrightening but it is also liberating. It is far, far better to face pastabuse consciously than to have it interfere with your life and yourbody from the subconscious.Consider it likely that you will discover things you would rathernot know. Things that you once needed to forget.78

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe revirginised sacrificeThe next morning, she called her salon and made an appointmentfor a waxing on Tuesday afternoon. “First time?” inquiredbeautician Marcie. “Yes, and I am scared. It is time to do the legsagain anyway and I’m not sure I can handle this as well, all atonce.”Marcie heard her impending panic and intervened swiftly.“Darling, we can do a sunburn treatment on your legs before wewax. It numbs the skin, so it hardly hurts at all. For your Brazilianand beyond, I will make an appointment for you at the dentist. Doyou know Dr. Malan? His rooms are in the office suites, just onefloor above us.”“Yes, I know him. He does my teeth … but how, what does adentist have to do with this?”“Anaesthetic, dearie. The same stuff he injects so your teeth don’thurt. It works really well.”“Clever … but, he is my dentist! I don’t think I would becomfortable …”Marcie cut her short. “Not him. His nurse does the needling. Justa few little pricks. Then you pop down in the lift, and we wax youwhile everything is comfortably numb. How does that sound?”Marcie was as good as her word. The waxing was painless, andthe few little pricks were no trouble either. The bill was a littlefrightening though, with the extras costing much more than theactual waxing. On Tuesday evening she was home, relaxing with ahot chocolate, flipping DSTV channels while she caught up withsome work on her laptop.By Thursday, the slight rash had cleared up and her pubes (yes, thatis what she called them to herself) were smooth and interestinglysensitive. Inspection in her hand mirror was at first a shock. Shehad not seen herself like this since she was … eleven or so. For a79

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLmoment, the image in the mirror seemed to be of someone else.Someone … very young.A virgin, she thought, and blushed deeply, feeling the heat of it,and hearing the beat of her heart.In the bath on Thursday evening, she used the hand showerinstead of her high-tech sex toy. The powerful jets pressed deeplyinto her very naked skin. She directed their intense hammering toher very engorged clitoris. A wave went splashing over the side ofthe bath when her orgasm convulsed her body. She lay there fora while, panting in exhaustion. “God, there isn’t a man alive thatcould do that,” she said aloud.Suddenly, she felt herself and the bath water to be dirty, got outand mopped up the spilled water with spare towels. She steppedinto the shower cubicle and rinsed off the water but not the dirtyfeeling.She got into bed, curled up tight, hugged her legs and cried herselfto sleep.The next morning, she was up and about, full of energy, andfeeling happy. She explained the happiness to herself as being onaccount of her lover coming to town for another weekend. Sheremembered his grin, the way he had grabbed and squeezed hercrotch. She considered getting her high-tech vibrator out, butsomehow she felt too good, too much aglow to masturbate.His flight landed on time. She popped the boot, he swung his bagand briefcase in. He slid himself into the car and they kissed. Thekiss lasted until they became aware of the hooting behind them.Laughing, she squealed the tyres on the smooth concrete and,breaking only slightly for the speed bumps, raced her placid fellowmotorists to the freeway. He laughed too but less confidently.“So where do we shop?” she asked as they approached thecomplicated tangle of the interchange.80

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Is that what has your motor running so hot?” he asked, thenwithout a pause for her reply, “Barry & Long, I think, the mainbranch in the city.”They left the shop all smiles and chuckles. “I think we disturbedthose poor people a bit,” she said, faux-serious. “The managernearly popped when you asked for a student discount.”He got into the car saying, “I think it was on account of yourbehaviour that that nice mommy hustled her daughters out.”“It may have been because they saw you just about raping me inthe dressing room.”They kissed and fondled at every traffic light on the way out ofthe city, causing much hooting and even a little road rage in theirwake. Half an hour on the freeway passed in a blur of speed anderotic tension.She was softly stroking the swollen front of his pants, driving onehanded,and managing the conversation with nothing more thanthe occasional grunt from him. He kept his hand on her thighbut was fearful of turning her on any more than she so obviouslyalready was.Back at her apartment the door slammed closed behind them, bagshit the floor and clothing followed. She ran naked into the loungeand threw herself backwards onto the large Chesterfield couch.His eyes glazed over, mesmerised by her extreme nakedness. Hecame close, cupped her buttocks, and knelt over her, to inspectthis wonder more closely. “No,” she insisted. “Fuck me now.”He entered her, and she felt her vaginal muscles sucking athim, pulling him into her, demanding and soon receiving hisejaculation. He remained hard after coming, and started to fuckher again, slowly and steadily. She sat up and pushed him back,ejecting him neatly. “I am going to bath now. Please take the sushiout of the fridge, and warm up the sake. Then you may want ashower.” She picked up the bag with her new clothes and left theroom saying, “I am going to dress for dinner”.81

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHe was smoking a cigarette and enjoying the view of the reflectionof a fat moon dancing in the breakers. “Excuse me, Sir?” a politelittle girl’s voice asked. “Is this the class on under-age seductiontechniques?”“My God!” Anticipation, long anticipation, had not prepared him.It was nearly an hour since he had put the sake in a vacuum flaskto prevent loss of heat and spirit. He nearly said, “So very worththe wait”, but stopped himself, realising that he did not want todeliver even the lightest rebuke, even disguised as a compliment.“Um, er, yes, young lady,” he managed while he looked her over.“Quite right. Just stand there, just where you are for a bit, if youplease.”Amazing, this transformation – the straw boater, hair pinned upmaking her neck exquisitely vulnerable. She was wearing glassesand no makeup, just clean glowing skin. A white wonderbrapresented a cleavage that had no business at all being behind asimple short-sleeved schoolgirl’s blouse. Her skirt was far tooshort for whatever the school regulations were. Gorgeous legs,perfectly smooth, flowed into little white socks and shiny patentleather black shoes with rounded toes.She tapped twice with one foot, conveying impatience and waitedfor his eyes to reach hers. She looked at him seriously from behindher glasses. “Is there a problem, Sir?”“No, just a moment. Please turn around.” She complied, and,feeling his gaze acutely, leaned forward slightly, put her hands onher hips, angled her pelvis back and up, and wiggled slowly. Sheleaned further forward, bowing at the waist, dropped her headlower, and looked back through her open legs at him, upsidedown in her view.He had dropped to a squat, and was staring, slack-jawed at herposterior. She giggled, and spun around to face him directly. Helooked at her, his eyes heavy, almost droopy with lust. She smiledand held out her hands to him. “Come. Dinner time. Let me helpyou up.”82

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe reached for her hands and started to stand. As his fingerstouched hers, he gasped in pain, dropped back into a squat andoverbalanced forward onto hands and knees. He reached into hispants and manoeuvred his erection from its painful restrictioninside his pants leg.“Oh, you poor man. Have you broken something?” she inquired,her voice still high and sweet in pitch.“No, but it was a close thing. The Minister of Safety should lookinto trouser design.” He struggled to his feet, rearranged his pantsand hugged her to him, lifting her off the floor.“You gorgeous, gorgeous goddess. I was smitten by your beautyand compelled to kneel at your feet.”The sushi was particularly delicious. They immersed themselvesin the flavours and textures he inelegantly called pussy on rice.When the last strips of sashimi (pussy without rice) had yieldedall their juicy deliciousness, they sat together in silence, saturatedin their pleasure.After what seemed an eternity of bliss, he remembered the sake.She didn’t want any but offered to pour. He moved to the largecouch. She sat on his lap and poured him a small porcelain cupof the hot alcohol. He held her close to him and she snuggled inclose, peacefully content. After a while, she poured him another.She smelled the volatile fumes as his fingertips found the edge ofher white cotton panties and slipped under them, softly strokingher wetness.A spasm of shock shot through her body, her spine stiffened intocomplete rigidity. The flask and cup clattered to the polishedwooden floor. “No Grandpa!” she squealed, in a voice pitchedhigh with stress.They both froze in silence, not even drawing breath while timepassed, and then, while more time passed. His fingers still restedon her tenderness. He started to take them away. She said “No.Don’t stop. Please touch me.”83

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe curled up tight on his lap, and sobbed pitifully while he gentlycontinued to stroke her increasingly slippery clitoris and labia. Asher orgasm overwhelmed her she noticed that he was crying too.84

Chapter 5Taboo and initiationI know … but isn’t it nice?

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe pervertA few years ago, I visited my friend the pervert. I call him a friend,because he is friendly. I call him a pervert, because that is howhe regarded himself at the time of this story. His name is notimportant. I will call him “G”.He was indeed an unusual fellow. Not many people get expelledfrom nursery school. From that startling beginning – his crimewas teaching the other children to masturbate the school dog – hewent on to a life of fascination with all things sexual, excretoryand forbidden.Now, he was approaching middle age and had been married foraround fifteen years to a lovely woman I will call “S”. He waswildly flirtatious but nonetheless more monogamous than most.Nothing much had come of his promising beginnings as a pervert,it seemed. After catching up on the ten or more years since we hadlast seen each other, I asked him about that.“G, you puzzle me. Forgive me for saying so, but I know you to bemore edgy, dare I say perverse, than most people. Not to criticise,just, I find myself wondering what became of all that?”He laughed a little strained laugh and said: “I was never all thatmuch into doing most of the stuff that I talked about. It wasinteresting, even fascinating sometimes, but not very erotic.” Hepaused, and I noticed a severe tension in him.Words squeezed out quietly from behind his tense lips. “Most of it,all of it really. Only the one thing.” I waited for further comment,or grammatical clarification.“For me, there is just one thing that I have always wanted, andnever done. Everything else was just a side issue. Only one thing.”G paused, and looked a little embarrassed.The pause lengthened. “Which is …”, I prompted. Clearly, this wasactually a bit difficult for him. I could not prevent a slight smile.86

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“This is not funny!” he squealed. “This is serious. It’s driving meup the wall, around the twist.”“Relax, G. This is me.”He took a breath, making an obviously considerable effort of will.His words came out hesitantly, each separate, each bitten back.“OK. Anal sex.”He froze like a rabbit caught in headlights. Paralysed. Transfixed.He blinked and then squirmed uncomfortably, eyes held low.I suppressed an urge to laugh, and managed to speak. “G, is thatit? Mild, man. Anal sex is just about mainstream fashionable thesedays, especially with the kids. Certainly, it is a bit of a kink, but itis hardly like … you know … taboo.”He hung his head in shame. “It isn’t like that for me. It is torture.Whenever me and S get it on, I am usually thinking, What if I nowput it in her bum instead …” He trailed off into an embarrassedsilence, gave me a soulfully pleading look, and then just sat there.I was busy keeping all signs of mirth off my features. I did wellbut could not keep the warmth of humour out of my voice. “Youthink that it is bad? … You have never done it?” He nodded, ormore accurately, he shrugged his head down deeper between hisshoulders. He looked pitiful. Miserable.That was too much for my self-control. I laughed, and enjoyed thelaughing. His face reddened as he retreated from discomfort intoanger. “I couldn’t care less what the youngsters are up to. And Idon’t get how this is funny. What I feel is not normal, and it is nota road I want to go down.”Enough laughing, I thought. This really seemed serious to the poorfellow. “Sorry, G. Just, what really surprises me is that, you know,anal sex is not really all that weird. How is it that you haven’t gonethere?”“Bull. It is not normal. And it is dangerous. It’s dirty and it isabhorrent, unnatural …” His face had changed completely. I87

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLcould see his mother’s face revealed on his, pinched up in disgust,as I heard him using her words, expressing her judgement.“Some strange ideas you have picked up somewhere, G.” Iinterrupted. “I see it is actually a full blown taboo for you. Youneed a bit of a lecture, so here it comes: goats, dogs, chimpanzees,baboons and many other mammals do it. There’s nothingunnatural in it. At least one Pope wrote a treatise in favour of it,for sexual release without defiling virginity.”“You’re kidding!” he exclaimed, eyes wide.“No. Leo X, I think it was. As to dirty – well sure there are someaesthetic and dietary guidelines that are good to follow, but ahealthy anus is, bacterially speaking, a lot less dangerous than ahealthy mouth. Medical fact.”He spoke slowly, his brain struggling between disgust andfascination. The glittery eyes were back but the set of his mouthwas still severe. “So what do you think I should do?”He looked surprised for a moment, and pre-empted my replywith, “You mean you and … sorry, I don’t remember her name…”“Yes, a few times. Sure. It really is not that big a deal.” His mouthhad relaxed now, his jaw hung loose. “Really, G,” I persisted. “Talkto S about it. You have been married a while. Maybe she wouldwelcome a little variety.”“But she would think …”“G, she knows.”“You think …”“Yes. It isn’t likely that S chose you without noticing your somewhatextreme interests. I don’t even want to ask what kind of porn youare into these days, now that there is the internet.”“Live toilet webcams.”88

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Too much information, G, but on your theme, it sounds. It isnot about the crapping and such, I am sure. It is because there ismostly going to be an anus involved?”He nodded and I continued. “It just isn’t likely that S chose you,out of her considerable range of choice, and has had a more or lesshappy time with you for this long and isn’t actually compatiblewith you.”He grinned. “You are so right. She can be very kinky sometimes.The other day, she found a condom we had used and …”“I don’t need to know that, G. TMI again. I am just saying thatit is pretty likely that, if something tickles your fancy with suchintensity, she would find it, at the very least, a bit interesting.”“You think … but what about, you know, pain and … shit?” Hisfeatures flickered between disgust and a hungry look.“There are ways to do things right, and condoms, but from whatI hear few people even bother to find out and it works out mostlyall right for them.”“I’m not interested in mostly all right. So tell me.”“Well, one way to give her a preview of how anal sex will feel andcheck that the passage is clear, without entering the anus withanything at all, is you …” I proceeded to give him more or less thesuggestions you will find in note 7 of this book and which would,at this point, be a diversion.An hour or so later I left him still considering the risk of destroyingS’s (no doubt already interesting) opinion of him.It was a few months later that I next saw G. His first words to mewere, “You bastard. You fucked up my life.”89

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLAncient and modernapproaches to taboo andinitiationWhen Westerners went looking for the secrets of Tantra in India,they were sometimes allowed to attend, or hear a description of,a temple initiation ritual. Very seldom, if ever, did they get accessto any further teachings of the schools they approached, so thatwhen they returned home, they had nothing much to describeapart from that one ritual. They therefore described it in greatdetail, fleshing out their scanty information with interpolationsand guesses.Some wrong ideas persist, particularly around left hand and righthand paths (there is no such thing) and debates over whethertantric texts should be taken literally or allegorically when theydescribe sexual techniques. Until Osho, Barry Long and MargotAnand, most Western writing on Tantra was severely limited inits understanding of the intent, method and approach involved inworthwhile practice.Indian tantric initiation has been much misunderstood. Whenone appreciates the psychological severity of the ritual for a mindfrom the culture in which the ritual originated, things get perhapsa little clearer.The basic technique was the systematic breaking of several majorHindu religious taboos around diet and sexual conduct. Theparticular foods eaten were increasingly taboo, especially thepiece of cow flesh.The cow, being a manifestation of feminine divinity, was sacred tothe initiates. To allow or even just to benefit from her slaughter isunconscionable. To eat of her flesh is flat out evil.90

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKLikewise, the extremely strong and well-observed taboo againstthe consumption of alcohol would be offended. Willingly drinkingthe forbidden poison was no easy thing for the initiate to face.To complete this uprooting of the cultural mind, ritualised sexwith a woman followed. Not just any woman either. A woman ofa forbidden caste.Initiates had a really tough time of this. Some would vomit up themeat and wine.This approach was obviously more effective and reliable in thepast than it has been in recent times. For the most part, the ritualsof Tantra were kept secret. They were rumoured and suspectedbut seldom openly admitted. Initiates had only their fears andsuspicions to go on when facing initiation.They had little or nothing on which to base their preparation. Thetotality of the ritual and its solidly uncompromising confrontationof their cultural mindset were reliably shattering. Everything ofthe ritual’s setup and management was designed to maximise thisshattering – not out of cruelty but out of compassion – so thatthis would need to happen only once to be complete as a lesson.It is hard to appreciate the severity of the original ritual. For asincere Christian a few hundred years ago, the equivalent wouldbe more or less what the Knights Templar were accused of doingin their initiation rituals. For a modern person, things are a lotmore tricky. Defilement of a cross or a book is no big deal if thesethings are not taken all that seriously in the first place.Even though the surface diversity of our culture dooms a onesize-fits-allapproach to this important area of work, someunderstanding of the intent and mechanism can be very helpfulwhen choosing a taboo to break.Perhaps the greatest limitation of our perception of truth is thetrained-in mind of culture. The extent to which we are governed,blinkered and generally restrained from true knowledge by ourcultural mindset is considerable. For a tantric initiate, gaining91

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLfreedom from the internalised culture-mind is a major point ofpassage. It is an advance to a level of awareness that takes mostseekers a lifetime to approach.In most people’s minds the structure of interlocking culturalnotions is taken to be more real than the direct experience. Whatan experience “means” becomes more weighted in the mind’sprocesses than the savour and nuance of the experience itself. Theriver of the flow of consciousness becomes blocked, pressured andrestricted by a log jam of inter-linking yet generally meaninglessmental associations.When clearing a log jam, one first looks for and identifies the mostobstructive logs, those that are key to the interlocking. Dynamiteis then placed and detonated to loosen things up.The results are often dramatic.One cannot, using one’s mind as it is before breaking a taboo,theorise usefully about how the mind will be after breaking thetaboo. What you think breaking a taboo will do to you is almostcertainly wrong.The mind as it is before breaking a taboo can be used to defineand break the taboo. Guidance from someone who is familiarwith the territory is helpful but not essential.Ultimately, all that a teacher can really do is to support you as yougo through what you will have to go through. You still have to gothrough it.There are many valid reasons to avoid breaking a taboo. It ispsychologically hard. It can also be dangerous in a social orlegal context. It may have to involve secrecy, and you may havea problem with that. Basically, any reason not to break a taboo isa good reason. Healthy respect for cultural taboos is a generallyuseful and necessary thing in any culture.By all means learn from Tantra, pursue awareness and meditate.Much useful work can be done before the breaking of taboos hasto be faced, if ever.92

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThere is no need to take on such an extreme and possiblydangerous practice unless, of course, there is an insistence in you.An insistence that you feel strongly about.Choosing a taboo, even attempting to discern one’s taboos, is notnecessarily an easy thing. Taboos and the lesser forms of mentalrestraint are a mostly internalised and subconscious phenomenon.Good mind training (see note 2) is a prerequisite.There are few, if any, universal taboos. Pretty much everythingthat is forbidden in some context in a culture is permitted inother contexts in the same culture, and in a variety of ways inother cultures. Look at your culture, at those around you andtheir (your) automatic assumptions and behaviours. You mayfind useful clues.Guidance, intuition and intelligence can all be helpful. Forexample, if your culture has a long established habit of avoidinglions, it is not tantric taboo breaking to offer one a bite of yourarm.Breaking all kinds of habits, including the culturally imposed onesis a valuable spiritual exercise which reveals much that has beenhidden from you.Start small.Just masturbating or brushing your teeth with the other hand,changing your eating or sleeping patterns and other minorconfrontations of habitual thought and action are useful.Confronting deeper levels of assumption, exploring into a tabooarea you think of as dark or dangerous, is scary but thrilling. It canalso be deeply liberating.It is of course desirable and advisable to have the guidance andsupport of someone familiar with this area of tantric work. Withthe application of a little intelligence, however, taboo breaking canbe experienced in reasonable physiological, if not psychological,safety.93

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLWhen choosing a taboo to break, avoid unnecessary embellishment.If, for example, you wish to break the common Christian tabooof unauthorised sex, it is probably not necessary to bugger yourgrandmother in the confessionals at Notre Dame. Perhaps thetaboo could be broken quite sufficiently by getting only slightlydrunk, and making love or even masturbating with wild abandonand a lot of noise. The core of the Christian taboo is the enjoymentand naturalness of sex.More than a technique, taboo-breaking amounts to a privatedeclaration of personal independence and directly enhances yourability to experience the truth.Use your intelligence and respect the intent of the exercise. Keepyour taboo-breaking private and secret. The point is to free yourown mind, not to shock anyone else’s. Confronting the culture bybreaking its taboos is not useful to you or to the culture.The forbidden dietary, narcotic, stimulant and psychedelicsubstances of modern culture are generally not that useful orfruitful in this regard. Many seekers notice and fully understandthe financial and political agendas of things that are forbiddenand things that are aggressively marketed. These things are notusually worth calling taboo. At best, they are an exploration, atworst, an indulgence.Nonetheless, the rules around social and shamanistic drugs aretaken to the point of taboo by some and for them, they are worthbreaking. Strong personal taboos can be formed in reaction toa close family member having a tough time with addictions torecreational drugs, or worse, alcohol.I am not recommending that you do anything illegal in this regard.Rather than breaking any laws, just do some travelling. Mostconsciousness-altering substances that are illegal somewhere arelegal, or at least less illegal, somewhere else.Sexual taboos, thanks to the Christian suppression-obsessionwith all things sexual, are generally far more useful in the quest forawareness. The only difficulty is that there is now a huge variety94

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKof sexual taboos which get mixed and matched based on lifestyleand fashion. It is possible that you will try a few things before youfind the real dynamite.In the straight culture, having a gay encounter is pretty muchuniversally a taboo, generally more so for men than for women.In the gay lifestyle, having a hetero encounter is generally taboo.For a monogamous relationship, gay or straight, inviting afriend or another couple to play can be a strong taboo-breakingexperience, whether they accept your kind offer or not. The actionof just making such an offer can break the taboo.Another way to break the taboo of monogamy is to make lovewith your partner blindfolded. This hides the key facial featuresand makes it easy to pretend that this is someone else. Calling themby their best friend’s name (or the name of whoever else would fit)is helpful. The partner should maintain silence for the durationof the exercise, using the opportunity to explore, inwardly, thefeelings and judgements that this may evoke for them.Pretending or acting, dressing up the setting and suspendingdisbelief are all useful ways to confront really scary, harmfuland otherwise dangerous taboos. As long as the mind-body canbelieve and participate, the exercise can be fruitful. Nothing reallydangerous needs to happen.The range of things that people consider to be taboo is extensive,hence the impossibility of using a one-size-fits-all approach. Forsome people, even, masturbation is taboo.The effects of breaking them, too, varies from person to personand taboo to taboo. Sometimes it has the desired effect of theoriginal ritual: the complete shattering of the culturally inducedmindset. Sometimes the clearing proceeds a few logs at a time,many minor taboos being confronted along the way instead of amajor few.The cultural mind is an illusion. More than that, it is an illusionthat is widely accepted and is taken by many to be a self-evident95

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLtruth. The immediate gain of taboo-breaking is a loss of illusion.Disillusion. Discarding the false is an unavoidable necessity, if thetruth is to be gained.G’s annoyance with me was just his reaction to a severelydisillusioning experience.96

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe pervert revisited“You bastard. You fucked up my life.” And he did indeed lookannoyed. Remembering our previous meeting, I said, “It is notthe end of the world, I promise,” and suggested that we take ourdrinks outside to get some privacy.Once outside I said, “Are you angry, G? Do you want to hit me?”“No, and I guess it’s not really you. It is … worrying is not the rightword. Broken, maybe …” He looked remarkably alive to me. Theonly trouble was that his eyes held a great tension, or rather, didnot manage to hold the tension and kept flickering about. I senseda storm of confusion in the depths of his brain.“Shattered?” I suggested. “Or perhaps disillusioned?”“Yes,” and after a pause, “both.”“Tell me about it.”“Well, I took all your suggestions. S thought it could be fun …” Hepaused and smiled dreamily. “She really is a special woman, youknow.” I nodded for him to continue. “We even did the brown ricething, and everything went just as you had said.”“Fun?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow at him, looking fauxserious.“Aah, shit.” With this ineloquent start to his reply, he had the graceto blush, very red indeed. I was impressed. Never had I knownor thought that this fellow could blush. “Something has seriouslychanged. I am thinking the weirdest thoughts, and feeling thestrangest things. Everything I have based my life on keeps cominginto question … and I don’t have any answers for myself.”“You didn’t like it?”97

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“It’s not that. Or maybe it was that. I had the most intense, almostpainfully swollen erection of my life. My crash helmet was sostretched that …”“TMI, G,” I chided gently, “it was intense, I gather. Continue.”He grinned, the pervert in him still in evidence, pleased now atmy squeamishness. “Well, we did it all exactly like you told me …Pheew! It was something seriously intense.”He paused, looked at me seriously and interrupted himself. “You,”he said with full emphasis, “are quite a pervert to suggest thatshit.”He resumed his story. “When it came time to enter her bum, I wasshaking and sweating. In the hottest lust I have ever felt. Intense,man. It was really hard to be steady enough to be gentle.”“How was S with things?” I felt to inquire.“She laughed a lot. She said some of it was really strange, but reallynice. But that is not what I am trying to tell you.”“Sorry.”“So, all that horniness, all that build-up, and then I did it. And thatis when everything went strange on me.”“Like how, strange?”“Well, the first thing that happened is that I didn’t come straightaway. I was sure I was going to be exploding on entry. I told you Iwas really horny and so on the edge …”“Yes, yes G, you did. So the sensations, the experience itself was abit different from what you had imagined?”“Yes. Way, way different. I had thought there would be a greattightness and strong, intense sensation, but it was like fuckinga cloud, or a flower.” He paused, frowned for a moment inconcentration. “Like, very gentle, very subtle sensations. Nothingfor the crash helmet to, you know … crash. Nothing to, you know,98

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKfuck! After a while, I even tried fucking her hard. It did nothingfor me, and S said to go easier. Like fucking a cloud, man …” hisvoice trailed off, lost in reverie.“That doesn’t sound too terrible. It sounds like you found more orless the real of it,” I commented cheerfully. That earned me a glareand a meaningful pause.“I have tried to work this out. It was nothing like what I expected,but now I’m not even so sure what it was that I expected. Andnow, there seem to be consequences. Nasty consequences.”He paused, looked steadily at me and continued. “I think youknew this would happen. Maybe not exactly but I am sure youhad a pretty good idea. That is why I said it, and I still mean itman. You fucked up my life!”“Ok, G, I hear you, and yes, I was pretty sure that this would rockyour world a bit. You knew that too, I think. It seems to have hityou a bit harder than I expected.”“Do you know how hard?” he asked.“No. Not in any detail. In general terms, I suspect you have justfound out more about your life than you really wanted to know.”“That sounds about fucking right. Do you know how much of mylife has been based on this anal sex fascination thing?”“Really?” I was impressed. I am always impressed by people takingunexpected leaps of awareness. “You found some life decisionsthat were motivated by this desire you had been resisting?”“Yes. Like that. Nasty. Do you know why I got married? Nevermind that. Do you know why I worked at getting good schoolmarks, attended Mass, cut my hair, owned a dog … all of it? Somuch of my life arranged just so I would look respectable, so noone would suspect. I got married to maybe get intimate enoughto … one day …”99

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHe did look unhappy. I waited. He offered me a smoke. I declinedthe filtered fairy-fart. He took a hungry drag on his cigarette, andhad more to say.“It doesn’t stop with that. It’s just about every area of my life thatI look at. Even some pretty sick shit I have done here and there …to rather be known as some kind of pervert, as long as my centralsecret was kept.” He slumped and muttered, “What an arsehole.”I did not laugh. I did not want to laugh. I was awed, and maybea little jealous. The awareness G had come to was something Ihad been through some years before. It had taken a couple ofintensively introspective years for me to get the depth of insight,the clarity of perception that G had reached, in just a few … howlong had it been?“G, so how long ago did you do the thing?”“About two weeks ago”. Before I could consider this further, hehad more to say. “All of that is rough, but I can handle it. I am surethat it is better I know it, though I don’t know how to fix, replace,or if I should or could replace it … but that is not the point. Thepoint, the thing that is just too much, is that my libido has gone allunreliable, and sex has lost something … but I don’t know exactlywhat.”“You don’t know what you have lost?” I felt to inquire.His brow got deeply furrowed. “Of course I know what. Doingthe bum thing, obviously. Just … how the hell did that cause allthis?”“Do you remember how you learnt to keep a really secret secret,how to really cover something up? Something that you couldnever let slip?”“Umm …” Clearly an effort was being made. I helped him out.“G, like any child, you learnt that the only way to really keep asecret is to make like it was never heard, or never happened. Allchildren of decent intelligence can come up with a good cover100

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKstory for really serious stuff, or,” I looked at him, and risked asmile and half a wink, “what they consider really serious. Thingsget covered up. You did some uncovering.”“Ok, I think I get it. But what happened to my libido, myhormones?”“Well, there is the truth of attraction, lust, love and affection,and there is the false. The ideas, the stories, the movies and otherforms of illusion we have about what is happening. You haverecently exploded an illusion you had about anal sex. You aredisillusioned.”“You can say that again,” he moaned.“OK, I will. You are disillusioned.”“Funny man.”It was a good time to laugh. Then it was good to be quiet for awhile. Then it was a good time to wait for him to speak.“I think I get it, or some of it. If ever I felt, like, my erection easingoff when I was with S, or if I wasn’t really horny but I wanted toperform strongly, all I ever had to do was just think for a moment:What if I put it in her bum? I would then immediately be hot,horny, sweaty …”He paused. “Shit. What a run-around.” He looked at me with anopenness I had not seen in him before and asked, “What to do?”Time to preach.“You have dispelled much illusion. You are unfamiliar with thereal. The real is available to you, to be experienced as it actually is,for maybe the first time … is this too heavy for you?”“No,” he responded, urging me on.I nodded. “So you need to develop your senses a bit, just learningto pay attention to how things really are. Before you find the rasa,101

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLthe juice of the real, you will hunger for the juice of the false thathas become unavailable. That is the good news.”“I fucking shudder to ask.”“I would have settled for just a shiver,” I stated, archly. “The badnews is that you may find a few more things that have a similarquality. You will find that other areas of your erotic patterning aremini versions of your bum thing.” He looked alarmed. “I thinkthis first big one was probably the biggest. A big bomb. What isleft now are a lot of little bombs, a few minefields with those littleBritish bomblets. It goes easier as you gain awareness.”“You mean, like, shit, everything else that turns me on will vanishtoo … this is very bad news.”“No, not everything. Firstly, starting on this at your age, it wouldbe a serious race, I think.” Though, he had recently movedthrough, in days, realisations that had taken me years … “Andthere is something that will always remain, that will not vanish.”“And that is?”“The genuinely natural delights. Real intimacy and love. What loveand closeness are supposed to be, naturally. That can be revealedin your quest and cannot be destroyed by it. It is what you are. Itlies on the far shore of the ocean of your eroticism.”“Stop right there,” he said. “Now you are getting too heavy.”“It takes a long swim in the warm waters of the sins of the fleshto get there.”“Enough!”“For today, OK.”102

Chapter 6DakinisGod bless Lili St. Cyr.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLOrders from the dakiniDeva Premal’s exquisite rendition of the Gayatri Mantra,hopelessly distorted by the cell phone’s tiny speaker, reached hisears and stirred him to a semblance of sentience.He reached for it, slowly opening sticky, tired eyes. Next to him,his beloved of seven years grumbled, “What does that bitch …”then rolled over, indicating the rhetorical nature of the questionshe had almost asked. His thumb found the button.Loud and clear from the tiny speaker came a warm and cheerfulvoice. “Good morning sweet man. Busy today?” He slowly gatheredhimself into the more insistent reality. A dream of penguins, of allthings, faded. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles.Testing his voice, he found it available and said, slowly, “Um …”He paused, thinking. “Um. No. Not busy at all today.”“Well, you are now. Breakfast at my favourite café in half an hourto discuss a session you are doing this afternoon.” The dakini’svoice cut through his morning fogginess. It was clearly audibleacross the room. He looked at the bundle of duvet.A hand waved out of it, dismissively. A muffled voice said, “Go. Iam too sleepy to get annoyed now. Maybe later.”“Sure,” he replied into the phone. “Half an hour. OK.”The muttering from within the duvet roll became audible again“… have to sound so fucking happy about it …” and faded belowthreshold.On the short walk back home from breakfast, his mind wasunusually quiet. Even a seagull squawking inches from his face ina dive bomber swoop failed to cause any agitation.The duvet roll was snoring. It sounded warm and happy. Purring.He eased himself around the bed and into the bathroom, closed104

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKthe door softly, and then, for the first time since he had left thecafé it seemed, he exhaled.Thoughts returned. Many thoughts. This was probably whatRahasya meant when he talked about the mixed feelings of thepath. The mix was rich. Feelings ranging from wonder to dread.Thoughts ranging from the judgemental to the sublime. All atonce.He shaved. Trimming and filing his fingernails, he rememberedthose moments from his conversation that continued to provokefeelings and their strange mixing.By the time he climbed into the shower cubicle, he was consideringthe dakini’s last point on her list. “You will probably have intenseand confused feelings as the session time approaches. You shouldprobably ejaculate once a couple of hours before the session, justto take the edge off.”“Take the edge off indeed,” he thought while he washed, “like itwould be a turn-on to lend my body, particularly my favouritepart, to a mad woman for her to use as a prop for real liveencounter therapy.” His cock, his lingam, he reminded himself,stirred, semi-erect. He glared at it and said aloud, “… and you areno help whatsoever.”“Talking to your dick again?” His beloved had sneaked into thebathroom and was watching him. “What’s he doing wrong now?”She opened the door, letting water spray out while she stepped in.She cuddled close into him, shivering as the hot water awakenedher skin, which was still cool from sleep.“Nothing new,” he replied, running hot soapy hands over herbuttocks, parting them to the shower jets. She wriggled and sighedas he continued. “Just disagreeing with me. Damn thing reallyseems to have a mind of its own sometimes.”“Maybe that is why he and I are such good friends,” she murmured,pressing his lingam between their bellies. “Who is my man-whoreboyfriend doing this afternoon?”105

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHe winced. “Not doing. Anyway, I thought you only wanted toknow, you know … like if …”. She cut him off mid-fumble. “Relax.I am just interested. She said you’re doing a session?”“What changed?” He asked, genuinely puzzled. She sighed. “Do Ihave to get into this? Well … OK. I decided to try something thateldritch guru of yours suggested. Or not so much suggested, morejust one of his weird statements I heard.”“About non-monogamy?” he queried.“No. Not directly, anyway.” She moved a little away from him andsoaped herself while she talked.“Some crude observation he made about horniness accompanyingjealousy. Anyway, the point was that jealousy creates great sexualheat, and the denial of that is flaming anger.” She paused a momentand considered. “I think I said it better than he did. Not that Inecessarily agree. I am just experimenting a bit with the idea.”He questioned his memory, and found no reference. “I never heardthat. I remember something he said about envy. That it …”“… indicates something you want for yourself,” she completed forhim and continued, “yes, that applies too.”“So you want to hear about the session?”“Yes. First though, there is something else.”She moved away from him and his penis flopped down betweenthem. She caught it.“You may be having your ups and downs.” She looked pointedly athis fallen phallus. She enjoyed his blush, then the quick, gratifyingresponse of his erection bouncing back to fullness as she fondledhim with one hand, saying, “I, however, have just being gettinghotter and hotter.”She reached for a towel and headed back to their bedroom.106

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe dried himself, hung his towel and followed her wet footprints.She draped her towel over the foot of the bed, turned to him andhugged him, naked skin still damp. She held him close and turnedtheir bodies until the bed was behind him.She felt his erection stir. She pressed her fingertips into hisbuttocks and then more firmly into his sacrum. His erection triedto rise but was trapped, her belly holding it down.She pushed him back onto the bed, planted her knees at his sidesand mounted him in one fluid movement.She tensed her vaginal muscles and leaned back, threatening tobreak his penis clean off. She came, grinding herself down ontohim. He gasped in surprise at the sudden intensity of his almostorgasmand the pain of his severely stretched ligaments. Shecollapsed, panting on his chest.After a few delicious moments of afterglow for her, and continuedrising interest from him, she pushed herself up, hands on hisshoulders. She wriggled her hips gently, feeling the intensity of hiserection, then relaxed deeply and held still, enjoying the sensationof him pulsing gently, deep inside her.“I think I just used you,” she said, smiling and sliding off himas easily and smoothly as she had slid on. She sat on his thighs,and held his abused erection between her palms. “I think I likedit … but, for now, tell me what that woman wants you to do thisafternoon.”“Using. That seems to be the theme of the day,” he gasped, thenremembered the importance of conscious breath, emptied hislungs deliberately a couple of times before continuing, breathingbetween short sentences.“She has a student. The student has issues with the lingam. Deepissues, apparently. Anger and the rest. Probably a history of abuse.She gets to borrow my dick to work on those issues.”She stroked his lingam, gently, encouragingly. “Like how?”107

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“I lie down naked. She sits beside me and gets to feel and do whatshe feels like doing. I am basically a prop, a dummy, to help herthrough her feelings about men and dicks. Hard-core Gestalttherapy.”He stopped, gasping as she swirled her hands around and up hislingam in a slippery-intense caress. She laughed, gripped his penisat the base with one hand, slid her legs back, knelt forward andlooked sternly at it.She watched it swell and change colour as she gripped tighter.“You have been a very bad cock, haven’t you?” She waggled it sideto side. He blushed, and moaned. “You,” she snapped, now lookinginto his eyes, “shut up. I am addressing the lingam.”She turned her eyes back to the object of her feigned displeasure.“Tell the truth now.” She waggled it back and forth now, giggling.With her other hand, she slapped it gently side to side. “Bad cock.(slap) Naughty cock. Very (slap) wicked (slap) lingam.”He had been holding his breath. It burst from him in a part moan,part wail. She stopped the interrogation routine and relaxedher grip. She leaned forward and bestowed soft lip caresses,murmuring, “I suppose it is called Cock Loathing Issue Therapy.CLIT for short.”“No. It is called Lingam Worship.”She chuckled.“You may not be all that comfortable right now, under suchpressure, but you do look impressive. Are you supposed to beimpressive? Are you supposed to be rigid and durable?”“No.” He repeated the dakini’s instructions. “I should be of neutralattitude. Whatever the body does, whatever the lingam does, it justdoes it. I am not to encourage or discourage the response of mybody. I am to offer to lend her my body, specify that she can touch,look, whatever she feels she needs to do to go through whatevershe has to go through.”108

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe paused, and she nodded for him to continue.“I am to be blindfolded so that she can easier project whateverface she needs to see and so that she doesn’t get concerned aboutme seeing her. The idea is that she is as free as she will allow herselfto be to do whatever she feels she needs to do to get through herissues with … dick.”“Sounds more like sacrifice than worship. What if she wants to dosome actual damage? I might be annoyed if you were borrowedand returned in bad condition.”“I am supposed to be pretty safe. When I give her the rap aboutborrowing my body, I can ask her not to do anything actuallydamaging. I can … but the advice is to not mention it.”“Why not?” she asked, gently tracing the seam behind his scrotumwith her fingernail. Reflexive twitches made his lingam bob upand down.He was speaking in short sentences again. “To free her fromconcern. Reduce self-censorship. Also to not give her …” hegasped as she sucked hard and wiggled the tip of her tongue intothe tip of his penis,“… the idea of doing damage in the first place.”She pulled her lips off his tip with a smacking sound. A shockpassed up his spine. He twitched.“A scary thing for sure,” she said, “but it may have some truth init.”“Really?” he gasped. “You think she wouldn’t already …”“Not that,” she snapped, clearly impatient with his ability to keepup. “The raw sexual heat in jealousy. I am jealous right now. Hotjealous.” She pulled him onto her. “Right now please. No foreplayand no Tantra required. Fuck me hard.”109

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLA few hours later he lay, more or less still on his back, while hissession-student clearly brought her best efforts to bear in a heroicattempt to stimulate and please him.He reviewed the guidelines he had given her.Had he forgotten … ?No. He had clearly told her to drop her usual ways of relating tothe lingam. Yes. He had specifically mentioned that she was notsupposed to engage with the intent to cause and satisfy arousal.She was supposed to find her deeper, unexamined feelings aboutthe lingam and express them.He was a little rattled by her wilful disregard for the exerciseguidelines but remembered the rule amidst those guidelines. Notalking, no sign language or communication from him once theexercise started until it ended. He resigned himself happily toallowing her attentions, which were, after all, delicious.Or, rather, they should have been. Her touch was measured,skilful and loaded with intent to inflame. It was also proving to becompletely ineffective.His penis was not responding. He felt for the anticipated build-upof sexual tension in his body, and found it absent.Her hands were gentle yet insistent, giving the most delightful ofcaresses, stroking all the right places. He should be blowing steamout of his ears by now, but it was just not happening. Tension wasrising but not the good kind.He forced himself to relax and feel her touch, allowing his body’suncensored response as directed.Horrified, he realised that his body was cringing from her touch.His scrotum had tightened, not in anticipation of ejaculation butin withdrawal, as if his balls had been plunged into cold water. Hispenis felt like it was actually shrinking from her ministrations.110

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKAnd … what ministrations! As instructed, she had arranged hisbody to her liking. Pillows supported his neck and raised hisankles. Now, she alternated long flowing caresses from the back ofhis knees to his belly with stroking his scrotum and massaging hispenis. He felt an arising within but not the good kind. An arisingof embarrassment with a kernel of shame.According to his instructions, his body was supposed to respond.It was supposed to respond naturally, as per its organic inclination.It was, however, not responding. It was not being a good Daka’sLingam. It was being a bad cock.He recalled his beloved’s earlier amusement and his response toher feigned (he hoped) displeasure. Something was going wronghere. His body was failing to give this woman the required honestfeedback, the necessary honest response. Clearly this situation wasnot covered in his instructions.Having found the loophole, he danced through it past the guidelinesand brought his erotic imagination directly and deliberately intoplay. He recalled the attractive, purposeful thirty-ish yoga-tonedcorporate over-achiever that he had invited to borrow his body. Ifhe could see her now …In his imagination, her perfectly buffed nails glistened as shescraped them lightly over his scrotum. Her lips parted adorably asshe blew the warm breath he felt every now and then. Things weregoing well … except … no wood.In direct defiance of the guidelines he pulsed his PC muscles witha long deep breath, deliberately, strongly. Raising Vajra by mainforce. This gold-standard technique managed, for the first timeever in his experience, to fail miserably.She stopped touching him and he could hear clothes beingdiscarded. Her breathing was shallow and irregular, sometimesstopping for a few seconds. Indicative, he knew, of agitatedthought.111

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLDry satin panties slid around his thigh, just above his knee andground down on it. Her naked belly pressed into his crotch. Shewiggled her tummy to no effect and then curved her back andstroked from his belly to his nipples with her nipples. His penisremained perfectly flaccid.He felt embarrassed for her and ashamed of himself. Perhaps hewas not, after all his training, yet daka material. To not respondto this completely gorgeous woman, doing these most totallygorgeous …He froze, startled as she licked his penis. As his astonishment andshock subsided, he wondered if this was covered by the guidelines.Nothing had specifically been said about sex as such. The onlyguideline – actually a rule – said that neither of them should slipinto their automatic or learned sexual behaviours. This exercisewas about exploring the depths of emotion. It was not supposedto be about gratification.Silently, he cursed himself for not thinking this through. Thenhe cursed the dakini for not warning him of this possibility, andgiving him some suggestion of how to cope with it. Admittedly, hehad not asked, but this scenario had not occurred to him.An argument exploded in his mind. He should have been warned!There had to be procedures. Who had designed this stupid exerciseanyway? Probably Rahasya. An ancient traditional temple practicewhich the tricky bastard had no doubt invented just last year.Maybe this was a kind of practical joke … a rookie ride … and ifso, what to do? A crowd of dark and suspicious thoughts shuffledthrough his mind. A few of them liked the place, and applied forpermanent residence.Slippery sensations intruded on his thinking processes. She washolding his penis in the palms of her hands, massaging it withher saliva. It felt like it should feel wonderful. It should have hadhis ejaculation out of him within a minute against any defence. Itcompletely failed to evoke even a hint of arousal. The sharp, edgy112

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKtingling coming in from his genital nerve endings was bearablebut not pleasant.With an exasperated sigh, she sucked his penis into her mouthand swirled it with her tongue. He twitched involuntarily as hisnerves squealed in overload. This encouraged her and, forcingand supporting a kind of semi-erection by squeezing his penisfrom the base, she got into showing off in earnest. To absolutelyno discernible positive effect.She resorted to main force – erecting him hydraulically by sheersuction. It worked but not for long. She loosened her grip andtried to swallow his almost-lingam down her throat. It collapsedand folded in her mouth, deflating quicker than she had inflatedit.He felt a great intensity of shame. His mind reeled and memoriesarose.He recalled being thirteen, racked with guilt following periods ofdeeply compulsive, concealed and copious masturbation.He remembered feeling disgust, even loathing for his penis. Heremembered his mother’s complaints about his father’s filthyanimal nature.The deep beliefs and attitudes he had imposed on penises ingeneral and his own penis in specific overwhelmed him. Hechoked on his own shame.She spat him out. His penis hung straight down. He felt it stickingwetly to his balls.She ignored the guidelines again. Words poured forth from her.She expressed a low opinion of his craft and his suitability as adaka.According to the instructions for the exercise, she was supposed toexpress herself in sounds without words. She was to relate to thelingam, not to the person who had lent it to her.113

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHe felt a brief moment of humour as he thought of suggesting sheplay the ball, not the man.She accused him of canine ancestry and sat back on his thigh.He felt her body trembling … but not in a good way.Bending forward suddenly, she slammed her fists into the futoneither side of his body. A shock wave passed through the thickcotton and his body.He felt her hair brushing his belly as she hung her head low.She sobbed, then wailed loudly.Tears flowed. His few were concealed, mopped up by the blindfold.Hers dripped copiously on his belly, trickled through his pubichair and dripped from his scrotum. A puddle formed, wetting hisbuttocks.Her tears ceased abruptly, and her sobbing changed to a growl.She went very still for a while. He wondered what had happened.An erection had happened, or was at any rate, happening. He felta blush redden his face at this inappropriate timing.He felt damp hair unsticking itself from him as she lifted her head.She sat up, no longer resting on her arms and grabbed his lingamvery deliberately, firmly and un-worshipfully. She snarled cursesat it for getting interested now, and for refusing to respond whenshe did everything right.She strangled the rapidly growing lingam with both hands, herfingers half-interlaced. Perfect nails dug in and she snarled at it.“Try to get harder now, cockbastard.”His cockbastard obliged promptly. He wondered frantically if thisqualified as a genuine physical emergency.She softened her grip. He gasped as her nails ceased to prick himand the squashed nerves caught up on their email. The expectedwarm gush of blood did not occur.114

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKShe let go and for a long while, she did not touch him. He noticedhis breathing and hers calming and deepening.She touched him then. Tentatively, curiously. Feather light softcaresses with her fingertips, one hand lovingly, gently, cupping hisballs. She pressed the lingam to her breasts, then her cheek. Shekissed it and pressed her lips to its softest parts.She curled up around the lingam, hands pressing it to her throatunder her chin. Her breathing was deep and even. They lay likethat until a soft gong sounded the end of the Hour of Silence CD.115

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLDakinis and dakasGuru Rinpoche to King Trisong Detsen:“Without such a one, the maturation and liberation practices areobstructed; the result, the achievement of the secret teachings doesnot occur.”If you have devotional tendencies, dakinis make the Divine,in whichever aspect of God or Goddess is needed, physicallyavailable.If your path is the path of the lover, dakinis teach you what love isand how to open to it.If you are a student of Advaita, dakinis can reveal your polaritiesto you and support your integration.If you are a Tantric or Taoist practitioner, dakinis can show youthe truth beyond your techniques.I have appropriated this Tibetan word dakini and, for males, daka,and use it as a title in my school. I also use it to describe those whodo closely related work in the world.A dakini is a student who has reached a point of understanding,capability and compassion from which she can and does teach themysteries of Tantra.Their learning before finding me was as varied as their teachingstyles are now. Each of them works from her own experience.They are not communicating something I have given them – theyare teaching what they are here to teach, from their own authority.It has been my privilege and delight to have been instrumental inencouraging them to their work.Dakinis teach Tantra directly, personally and experientially. Theyare the most rare and valuable spiritual resource on this harshpath. Tantra in the patriarchal world owes its very existence to116

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKdakinis. Saraha and all the great tantrikas, gurus and teachers ofevery age were taught and raised to their greatness by dakinis.Traditionally and historically, dakinis were available to only themost intelligent, persistent and courageous of seekers. Dakinishad to be tracked down by following rumours.When a seeker did find one, he could expect to be greeted withcurses and well-aimed rocks. If he could convince her of hissincerity and offer what she found to be appropriate gifts, hemight get to hear the non-negotiable terms of her unconditionalloving.Many dakinis were not even that accessible. They worked likestage hands, facilitating the learning of the Masters of the dayfrom behind the scenes of public life.They were the sisters, wives, mothers, lovers, grandmothers andconsorts of gurus and rishees. They influenced and supportedpromising teachers with little or no regard for the patriarchaldivisions of religions, cults and sects.They managed lineage-successions by training, empoweringand declaring the enlightenment of their male students, as didtheir spiritual sisters, the Hetaeras of Greece and the Kingmakersof Egypt. They supervised theological development by hidingscriptures in memory and oral transmission for generations, onlyrevealing them to the male spiritual leaders in the right timing.They managed the spread of spiritual practice, encouraging andeven ordering the dakas, gurus and masters they created to taketheir teachings to distant lands.They were believed to be the most lovingly supportive gateway tospiritual evolution. They were also believed to be difficult to find,impossible to evaluate, fierce, uncompromising and dangerous,even deadly.Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.There are some differences in the way they do things these days.Most noticeably they do not live hidden in caves anymore, their117

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLsecret known only to a few devotees. They live in suburbanenclaves, more or less anonymously, and appear to fit in, more orless, with modern cultural ways.Patriarchy and its values are on the decline. Feminism, Oprahand other cultural phenomena have made it possible for them topractice without the constraints of secrecy.The core of this school’s teaching is our individual session work.Naturally, a popular question is: What exactly happens … what dodakinis actually do … in sessions?The answer: Whatever is required.Perhaps she will create immediate and difficult conditions: thatyou take some martial arts classes or yoga. Perhaps she will evokethe re-experience of a traumatic incident from your childhood.Perhaps she will introduce you to your own body and its capacityfor bliss. Perhaps she will initiate you into sexual practices thatyou never dreamt possible.Perhaps it makes more sense to ask: What are the limitations, theboundaries of your method and approach … what can’t happen insessions?The answer: No limitations, no boundaries … and absolutelyanything at all can happen.A dakini works with her natural authority, using the methods andtechniques of her choice. She works with individual human beings,regardless of their relationship status. She is not particularlyinterested in a student’s happiness, pleasure, social adjustment orsexual fulfilment. She is interested in enabling, encouraging andsupporting a student’s awareness, no matter what it takes and nomatter how it may look.Some students relate to dakinis as doctors of sexuality. They wanta cure for a problem. Usually PE or ED. Some look to them forhelp with relationship issues and to revitalise their sex lives. Somesimply adore a dakini and delight in the awareness they find118

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKthrough her lessons. Some endure their sessions, constantly onthe edge of their capacity and willingness. Some just fall in love.Dakinis are selective but remarkably open and forgiving in theirselection. A dakini will usually accept a student if she feels anopenness to her guidance and a willingness to take her direction.The student’s motivation is otherwise of surprisingly littleconcern to a dakini, at the beginning. They tolerate sexual athleteslooking for technique. They help women wanting advice and tipsto improve their sex lives. They have even been willing, at leastonce, it is rumoured, to teach a pick-up artist what to do when helands his prey. This is because they know, more or less, what thestudent’s motivation will change to as his practice deepens.Dakinis teach in a variety of modalities. They advise and bringclarity to the student’s issues and strategies in all areas of life. Theyguide a student’s search with close individual attention. They usetheir bodies to teach men the truths of conscious sexuality. Theyteach women, using their bodies as example and catalyst. Theyfacilitate the meeting and relating of students that can be useful toeach other’s awareness.Compassionate though they are, the centre of their usefulness to aseeker is their authority. Their students have to face hard lessons –lessons which have probably been avoided precisely because theyare hard.Dakinis are deeply aware of the compassion in their indifference,the freedom in their authority and the love in their orders.To their students, devotees, lovers and friends, they seem to befallen angels, or maybe compassionate demons.For students of great potential, they reserve great challenges.119

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLA cup of teaAfter the student had left, the dakini offered the daka a cup oftea. While she prepared it, his mind reviewed the last hour. Moremixed feelings. Embarrassment and elation. Shame and sensuality.Guilt and heat.He looked up from his reverie. The dakini was standing in front ofhim, offering him a cup. As he took it she said, “Special tea,” and,smiling, “Virgin tea.”“Thank you.” There was one small leaf in his cup and just a hintof colour. He sipped and was surprised, first at the sweetness andthen at the subtle but exquisite flavour.“Very special,” he noted, “delicious.” He sipped again and triedto analyse the sweetness. “Not honey, not sugar, not fructose orglucose either … dextrose?”“No sugar or sweetening,” she said. “Just the flavour of that singleleaf in your cup. Nothing else at all.”He sipped again. “Well, this is exquisite. What is it called, and howcome I don’t recognise it?”“Virgin tea,” she repeated patiently. “Very unlikely indeed thatyou would have come across it, even if you were a professionaltea taster.”“Very new? Richard Branson …”“Oh no! Too special for him by far, though he probably couldafford it. It is very specially cultivated at an extremely high altitudeand hand-picked at perfect ripeness by young girls, traditionallyvirgins.”He sipped again, thoughtfully. “Very special tea. I am honoured.”“Glad you worked that out.” The dakini smiled at him warmlyover her cup. “Congratulations on your first session.”120

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Thank you.”They enjoyed the tea for a while in silence before he said “I wasworried … everything I thought it would be, what I had planned…”She laughed. He sat upright, nearly spilling his tea. She laughedmore and he became infected by it and joined her. He felt thetensions in his body and mind releasing into the laughter.He felt the whole session as a single complete moment, a gestalt,rich with existential humour. He felt the poignancy of thatmoment and the deep sadness in it too. Tears came and hislaughter changed to a deep sobbing.The dakini had moved close to him and relieved him of his cupwithout him noticing. She knelt in front of him now and pressedher hand, edge on like a weapon, hard into the centre of his chest.Her voice, not loud but absolutely insistent, said: “All of it. Take inall of this feeling. Right now.”He was overwhelmed by the intensity and scale of his sensation.Somehow he managed to stay open to the experience, not shyingaway into numbness or dislocation. He felt all the despair, sufferingand hopelessness he had touched in himself and somehow allowedhimself to feel the whole of it, unreservedly.Her hand kept pressing inward, driving his breath out, and drivinghim deeper into his experience. When his lungs were completelyemptied, she said, “You have found the extent of it. Now hold yourexperience for a moment.”The scale of things seemed to change. He was no longeroverwhelmed. These feelings were within his capacity. He heldthem.She eased the pressure on his chest and said, “Breathe all of it innow. Into your heart.” She released the pressure on his sternum.He recognised the technique now but had never before experiencedit used so directly and with such … substantial feelings. He121

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLinhaled through his mouth, opening his heart to the feelings heheld, drawing them in, welcoming them into his heart centre. Ithurt. He allowed and welcomed that too.“All of it,” she commanded.He managed it all, surprised that he could. His exhalation wascalm and gentle. Rich with the energy of a well-fed heart chakra.She stood up slowly and went back to her chair, saying, “So it wasa good exercise for you too.”“Very weird. Quite tough. It seemed to end peacefully enoughthough,” he replied, and took a while to consider. “I have no ideawhat use it was to her, though.”“I had a chat with her while you were in the shower. You did verywell. She learnt at least one very valuable lesson.”“Which was?” he inquired, retrieving his cup. The tea had cooleda little and was still exquisitely delicious.“She discovered that the lingam responds far more eagerly to herhonest tears and rage than to what she has been used to thinkingof as her sexual powers … her ability to tease and please.”He pondered this for a while. A notion occurred and promptlysprouted into a suspicion. The suspicion took root, then developeda firm proposition which budded and flowered into an impressivedisplay of definite certainty.“You knew how it would go?!” Half question, half accusation. “Itcould have helped me a bit if …” His voice trailed off as his mouthclosed. The thinking continued.He reviewed his experience. He considered mentioning his lingam’sinsistence on choosing its own response, no matter how he hadtried to alter it, in defiance of his instructions. He considered itsome more, and decided not to mention it. He wondered whatto say.122

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe looked at the dakini over his cup. She was watching him,Gioconda smile in place.He drained the last of his tea and replaced the cup. She interruptedhis attempt to delay, indicating by her question that a new topicwas now under discussion.“How is your relationship doing under the burden of nonmonogamy?”“Very well, today at least. So far.” His reply met the enigmatic smileagain. She waited. He continued.“Well … we have an agreement that I am available for sessionswork.” He gulped. “Like this.” He paused. The dakini raised aneyebrow in unmistakable inquiry. He continued, a little nervously.“The sessions are confidential of course. She doesn’t want to knowthe who’s and what’s … just if I have sex in a session.”“Sex?” The dakini looked at him sternly. “That session you just didwas not pure sex by any reasonable standard?”“No. Not by her reasonableness. She uses the Bill Clintondefinition.”“You mean genital penetrative sex?”“To ejaculation,” he confirmed.“It sounds as if your agreement with her could prevent totality inyour work. Does your agreement to tell her about it reduce yourwillingness?”He considered this. “I might be a little worried if that had tohappen in a session, but not unwilling.”She studied him in silence. Her gaze penetrated to his core. Heexercised his self-control and hoped he appeared calmer thanhe felt. She relaxed, shrugged, smiled and took a few steps to herlaptop. It opened on a calendar.After a few taps on the track-pad, she turned to him.123

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Time now for you to go. I have to get ready for my next session.”He stood and she hugged him. “Today, you are a daka in fact, aswell as title.”As he finished gathering his things, she opened the door, holdingit firm against the wind which heralded another of the Cape’sfamous storms.“One more thing,” she said as he came to the door, car keys inhand, “according to your Google calendar, you are clear nextTuesday afternoon.”“Another session?”“Yes.”“What?”“Do you really want to know?”“Sure. It can only help.”She put her hand on his shoulder as if to steady him beforereplying. “Penetration to ejaculation, of course. With me, mostlikely.”124

Chapter 7Feminine and masculineWhat a perfect specimen of manhood.So dominant.You must be awfully proud of him, Janet.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe shamanThrough the heavy pebble lenses which rested on his fat cheeks,the old man watched the door, a hole really, which raggedly frameda bright afternoon sky.The silhouette of a woman’s formal headgear appeared atthe bottom of the hole and grew as its wearer approached.Occasionally, he glimpsed a second head behind her, and focussedon it intently.Soon, the hut interior dimmed as his youngest but most seniorwife knelt at the entrance and announced herself and the visitor.This took a while because the visitor’s name had to be given withfull titles and an extensive account of his lineage.The greetings and formalities went smoothly, drinks and snackswere served, and soon he was alone with the young man.“Tradition says we should use my language in this place, but Ithink English may be easier for you?”“Thank you, Baba.” The young man was obviously relieved.“Most of my schooling and studies were in English, and I amnot that good anymore with my own language. With yours, I amembarrassed to say, I struggle.”“Good. English then. What have you studied?”“History, mainly European of course. A few languages,international law and anthropology. I was schooled in England,then I studied at universities in Germany and Sweden.”“Your parents were in exile?”“Yes. We left here when I was nine years old. We returned when Iwas nearly thirty.”“And now you have a position in government. Your father is veryproud.”126

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Well, my father died too soon after our return to see it happenbut my mother still brags about me at her tea parties.”The old man looked stern and his voice boomed in the small hut.“Your father is proud of you, young man – and he most certainlydid see it happen.”“I am sorry. I did not mean …”The old man sighed. “Sorry. I just wanted to assure you. I havebeen very busy with the ancestors lately and it is your father thatpersuaded me that you were the right one.”“But how can that …” The youngster hesitated. He had studiedshamanistic attitudes to elders and ancestors extensively, butencountering someone who spoke of these things literally insteadof academically was a bit strange.“You mean how can I talk in the spirit realm with an ancestor whois not of my tribe?” The old man looked amused and no trace ofhis previous seriousness was discernable on his chubby features.“… err, yes.” And to himself the young man thought: Never mindhow you shamans claim to speak with the dead in the first place.“Our tribes have not always been separate, you know. Thirteengenerations ago, they were one. We have elders in common, andanyway, the elders do not necessarily respect the tribal divisions asmuch as we usually do.”The young man decided that it was probably safest to suspenddisbelief and play along. “So the connection is that you haveancestors in common with my father … and with me?”“Well, yes. You and I do at …” The old man’s eyes rolled halfwayback into his head for a few seconds. “Nineteen … no. Twenty-onegenerations back from you and seventeen back from me.”He grinned broadly, waved a hand dismissively and continued.“But I don’t have to go by that long route. The connection is that Ihave an ancestor who knows your father. Much more direct.”127

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Um … Ok. Thank you, Baba.” Like Facebook, he thought.The old man roared with laughter, his cheeks jiggled and his bellywobbled hugely. The bamboo couch creaked alarmingly. Theyoung man watched in amazement. After what seemed to be avery long time, this almost seismic activity subsided.The old man grinned at him, chuckled some more, then spoke ina conspiratorial tone. “You do not believe a word of this nonsense,do you?” And before a reply could be considered, he burst outlaughing again.The young man cringed. He was painfully aware that just a centuryor so ago, shamans of his culture had wielded unconscionablepower. Nowadays, some of them, like this old man, still did.Wiping away mirthful tears, the old man gradually chuckled to astop. Noticing the young man’s tension, he waved a chubby handand said, “Relax. That was the old days. Things, you might havenoticed, have changed.”“I feel I must apologise anyway. My scepticism is just my training.I have great respect and much pride in our traditions.”The old man smiled warmly at him. “Things have changed much,but of course the fundamentals always remain. Do you know what,traditionally speaking, I am supposed to do with young men whosuffer such doubts?”He racked his brains, searching through the few stories he hadheard from his grandmother, and his more recent universitystudies. “No.”“I am supposed to take them with me on a spirit journey.”The young man’s eyes opened wide in surprise. He had comehere hoping to add a few traditional stories to the archives he wascreating. Of course, against his expectations, he had nonethelesshoped …128

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe old man studied the younger one carefully. It was, of course,no accident that their conversation had led so quickly to thissuggestion, but he had some doubts.Could the young man, untrained as he was, take the vision moreseriously than a dream? Could he bring back anything worthwhilefrom such a journey?“Would you like to accompany me on such a journey?” he askedeventually, knowing the answer.“It would be a great privilege.” the young man answered seriously,his composure almost fully restored.Still irked by his doubts but showing no sign of it, the old manclapped his hands loudly twice.His senior wife appeared shortly. “It is as you thought,” the oldman told her.“I have arranged everything, Baba.” She kept her head low, politelyavoiding eye contact, but the young man noticed her throw aquick glance in his direction, and a hint of a smile.The old man grinned at the young man, conveying confidence hedid not feel. “It seems the women are one step ahead of us, as isusually the case.”Turning to the wife who looked more like a granddaughter, heraised an eyebrow beyond the heavy lens. “Everything?”She smiled and gestured towards the doorway. Two other wives ofthe old man came in and removed the low table. They returned,unrolled a mattress of animal skins next to the old man’s couchand sat at either end of it, silent and expectant.In their tribal dialect, he asked the women to continue the ritual.The wife who was nearest to the door clapped her hands once anda light but insistent drumming started up outside the hut.The shaman’s granddaughter-wife, in bare-breasted tribal regaliastood before the young man and held out her hand with an129

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLincongruently European elegance. “Shall we dance?” her postureseemed to ask.He stood up and took her hand. It led him to the mattress of skinsand gestured for him to sit. He sat, facing the old man.The women at each end of the mattress had produced bowls inwhich they were kindling small fires.The old man spoke. “The women will get you to breathe a littlesmoke from their bowls. Then you lie down, with your head in thesame direction as mine.”Crushing herbs between their fingers over the small flames, thewomen produced clouds of surprisingly thick smoke. The youngman watched the smoke ascend to the thatch and form a wobblywhite ceiling. Scents which reminded the young man of anafternoon of sex in front of a fire in Scandinavia filled the hut.Noticing that it was now much darker, the young man glancedover his shoulder. Bales of thatching grass had been piled upagainst the doorway from outside, sealing them in.Alarmed, he looked back at the old man. “What happens now?”“I will tell you a story. Try not to over-analyse it with your moderneducation. Just listen to it. The story will be your guide to wherewe are going.”“And where is that?”The old man smiled, then looked at his favourite wife who satbehind the young man. He signalled to her with a half-wink.The young man felt her warm body close behind him. Her armscame around him and wrapped his gently to his sides. “Be quietand relax into me,” she told him in his own tribal dialect. Heyielded to her firm, soft warmth.The women with the fire bowls approached and held them beforehim. “Close your mouth and let me be your breath,” said the voiceat his ear. He felt her squeezing him and realised that the squeeze130

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKwas synchronised with his breath, helping him to exhale. Herelaxed and let her breathe him.At a signal from her, the two women sprinkled more herbs intotheir smouldering bowls. From each one, a pencil thin stream ofdense, opaque smoke emerged. Cupping the stream with theirfree hands, they contained it and guided it towards him. Thearms around him wrapped him tightly, emptying his lungs. Asthey relaxed, he inhaled deeply and twin streams of dense smokepoured into separate nostrils.“Good,” said the warm feminine voice. “Again.” They repeated theexacting performance twice more.The women with the bowls then held them out to the old manand guided the smoke for him as he leaned forward and inhaleddeeply, just once.The warm body behind the young man tipped him gently sideways,laying him down on the skins. Soft hands gently held his head andfeet. Another soft hand gently closed his eyes.The drumming seemed now to be softer, deeper and very far away.The old man started his story.He described a world before the time of men, when women hadruled for thousands of years. Slowly, the unbelievable world hedescribed became less strange and more familiar. The youngman realised that he was no longer listening to the narrative butseemed to be immersed in it, as if in a dream. Then the dreambecame real.131

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe first patriarchHe reached the avocado grove at the forest edge, still walkingcarefully. Carrying a basket, he had not raised any suspicionswhen he had left the households. It was taboo, but not all thatunusual for a lone male to be sent to fetch food.The distance he had covered, though, was greater than such atask permitted. If he was stopped and questioned, he would beregarded as a stray, or worse, feral.He shuddered. If that happened, he would look a fool indeed. Theterrors of being staked out or caged, a toy for girl children andfood for their pets, was what he risked. He risked this to escapethe luxury of life in his Mother’s household. All the older men heknew had endured what he was running from. They said it did nothurt much if it was done properly.It would normally have been done when his male parts had grownenough to be noticed. When his had, Mother had intervened. Sheneeded a hunter of unusual prowess to supply her full moonbanquets, she had said. A hunter with balls was the expression shehad used.He left the path, circling back to his left, stopping when he couldno longer see household fields beyond the avocado trees. He sat ona flat mossy rock, put the basket down beside him and anxiouslysurveyed the ground he had covered. Soon, he knew, a pack ofhunters and dogs, perhaps even women on horseback, would betracking him down.He took his warthog-skin hunting bag from the basket and stockedit with the dried food, tools and other things that he had throwntogether in his earlier state of panic.Reaching into the basket with both hands, he struggled for a while,then took a small sharp blade from a pocket of his bag and cut atthe tough rattan around the middle of the basket.132

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKWith a loud crack that made his heart start pounding again, thebasket ripped almost all the way around its middle and his bowsprang free. It felt good and comforting in his hand even thoughhis arrows had proved too brittle to coil into the basket and toolong to conceal anywhere else.Shouldering his bag and slinging the bow onto the bag, he ranat an easy pace along the tree line. He stopped a few times to rubhis hands in his armpits or crotch, then wiped his scent on lowbushes, tree trunks, rocks and his feet.After laying a few hundred metres of scent trail, he doubled backand returned to the rock, re-crossing his path often, and carefulnot to leave directional footprints when he did so.Back at the rock, he took two fresh jackal skins from his bag andtied them over his bare feet. He walked away from the path andthen parallel to it as he set himself a sustainable pace, runningdeeper into the forest.After a few hours he came to the hide he used in the rare timeswhen game became scarce. It overlooked a grassy river bank wherea variety of meat animals came to drink each evening.He dined on nuts and dried meat shavings while he consideredhis next step. This hide was the furthest he had ever been from hisbirthplace. Tomorrow, he would go … well, further into the forest.He realised that he had no idea how big the forest was, or what, ifanything, lay beyond it.He had no idea where the wild men were to be found. He fellasleep wondering if he would survive meeting them if they couldbe found.That night, he dreamt his memory of the only wild man he hadever seen.The creature’s deeply wrinkled face had been almost covered inmatted hair. It had glared at him fiercely from eyes that had thesame intent and clarity as those of a wolf. It had growled and133

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLmade harsh, rough noises at them until its trainer threatened itwith a barbed pole.“Are those words?” he asked his Mother.“Probably,” she answered, glaring at the beast. “They have about asmuch language as a gorilla.”“Seriously ugly …”“That is what people become if their breeding is unsupervised.”“Do their … Mothers look like this too?” The question had earnedhim a solid slap on the cheek.“What a horrible idea.” Another slap. His eyes stung. “Actually,”she continued after a thoughtful pause, “their females are lesshairy but otherwise, much the same.”Her face hardened as she continued. “They tend to be uglier,though. Almost all of them have severely deformed faces andother serious injuries.”“Because they fight hard when caught?”“No.” She glared at the monster angrily. “The males beat thefemales, breed on a whim and kill most of the offspring. It is amiracle that the species persists in the wild at all.”He had studied the captive more carefully then. Apart from someobviously fresh wounds it looked strong and healthy. The muscleslooked hard and the skin looked like cured leather. Thick blackhair sprouted everywhere. He knew his own smoothness was onaccount of his regular plucking, but he could not believe that itcould ever grow into anything comparable to this beast’s pelt.He thought aloud. “Some of the creatures that live with us havewild cousins. Our dogs can breed with jackals; and our pigs, withboars.”“Just so. To keep them dogs and pigs, we supervise their breedingas we do our own.”134

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Our Mothers could breed with that?”She raised her hand to slap him again, then sighed and loweredit. “Yes. Like dogs with jackals, or pigs with boars for that matter.That is why he is still alive and they have taken care not to damagehis male bits. They hope to make him safe enough to breed with.”He looked at her in shock and she laughed.“It is good to breed a little wildness back into some lines everynow and then. We do it when we want a male for some particularpurpose.” She had smiled then, teeth glinting sharply in thespeckled light as she looked at him expectantly.She clearly wanted him to be clever again, he realised. No one else,male or female, ever appreciated any sign of cleverness in a male –but she did, in him. In public, she would punish it of course butnot heavily and she never punished him for cleverness when theywere alone.He tried. “Like when you breed fierce males, for sport, for guardsand for …”“… hunting,” she completed for him.“I am a hunter.” The words were out before he considered theirimplications. He winced.“Yes you are. I bred you from a hunter.” While he reeled, tryingto digest this somewhat disgusting news, she studied the creaturemore carefully.“A better built one, though. This one has the small, skinny penistypical of the wild ones.”She looked at the monster almost fondly, but it was clear that shespoke to him, not to the beast. “Your sire was a fine specimen.Stronger and more dangerous than this one.“He was quite difficult to restrain and an incurable biter, evengagged and with most of his teeth knocked out.”135

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe touched her left breast absent-mindedly. So that is how you gotthat scar, he thought.She continued, her voice soft in fond reverie. “He was so resistantthat I could not get him to squirt,” she sighed.“I enjoyed him for hours, but eventually it was enough and Iwas getting sore. I told the trainer to poke him in the arse witha discipline dildo. His ejaculation was so copious that I quiteoverflowed. I knew immediately that I had conceived.”“So that is why you brought me here?” he had asked, wincing atthe thought of what his conception had looked like. “To see whatI would have been, if I had been born wild?”“No.” She had looked at him sternly. “I brought you here to seewhat you truly are.”He awoke from the dream sweating and shook his head to clearthe troubling vision of the wild man’s hairy face from his eyes.He stumbled down from the hide to the river, splashed himself,then drank deeply from it and finally, he urinated into it.Life flowed through him. He stood proud and felt the sun warminghis face. For the first time since his escape, he felt the elation offreedom. Throwing his arms above his head, he shouted, “I am awild man!”“Come and have breakfast then, wild man,” his Mother’s voiceshouted back. She and another woman sat in the shade, slightlyfurther up the game trail. Their horses grazed calmly behindthem.He looked around in panic, trying to work out where the dogs andhis once fellow hunters were.“If you still have clothes or skins, wild man, you may want to getdressed,” shouted his Mother. “It is cool here in the shade.”136

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKShe wanted him to go back to the hide. Presumably the hunterswere waiting there, their noises covered by the babble of the river.He looked in the only clear direction – down river.It did not look good. A hundred metres of boulders, slippery withconstant splashing lay ahead.After that, he knew, were soft muddy banks where crocodilesbasked.“Wild man,” shouted his Mother again, “please join us. I havebrought gifts.”He stumbled to the hide, his legs leaden with fear. The dogs andmen he had expected were not there.No alternative occurring to him, he dressed himself in the sweatyand crumpled woven garments he had worn during his apparentlyabortive bid for freedom.He packed the skin bag and slung it over his shoulder. Carryingthe bow, he left the hide and headed down the game trail. The treesmet overhead and the air cooled as he approached the womenwho were seated on cushions, on top of a large grass mat.His Mother indicated towards an unoccupied cushion in front ofthem.He sat and tried to keep his composure. His Mother smiledwarmly and offered him a bowl. Her companion, too young to bea Mother herself, was studying him intently.The bowl held a mash of grain and fruit. “Please eat,” she said, “weate ours while we were waiting for you to wake up.”Ignoring her repeated use of what surely was sarcasticallyrespectful language, he tucked in hungrily.“I must admit, I am impressed,” said his Mother’s companion,“how did you know where to find it?”“I birthed this one and I shaped its mind as it grew.”137

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“I would not have expected any male to go feral over the minordiscomfort of castration. I would never have predicted that hecould make his scent trail vanish. I would certainly never havebeen able to find him once he had vanished.”“He is bred three fourths wild and knows more about the ways ofanimals than the ways of people. He has never been disciplinedwith anything more severe than a whip and has not been castratedor imprinted. He is what we need. An almost wild man.”“Wooh.” The young woman regarded her with wide eyes.“Amazing. How did you get away with all that?”His Mother shrugged. “Some of it was easy. I lied about hisbreeding, and my Mother had already lied about mine.”“She, your Mother, Eva of the Valley Households … our planstarted with her?”“Oops, there goes her pristine reputation. No. The plan wasstarted long before her time. It may even be as old as the FirstHousehold.”The young woman raised an eyebrow. “You are full of surprises.”His Mother took his empty bowl and handed him a slab ofsmoke-cured ham while she addressed the youngster. “Avoidinghis imprinting was a bit tricky. I wrapped his penis with a thinstrip of copper. This made it turn a very unappetising shade ofgreen. The imprinter decided to give it a season to clear up.”“And then she forgot all about it?”“After drinking a very specially spiced tea, yes.”“Impressive indeed. How did you avoid his castration?”“I sulked, argued, bullied and bribed for as long as I could.”“So when the order came from our favourite Matriarch, you toldhim to run here?”138

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“No. He worked that out for himself. He chose to save his ownballs.”His adrenaline shock had eased as his stomach had filled. Hetried to remember what they had said while he was satisfying hishunger.“You gobbled that up like a hungry dog,” his Mother observed.“Are you sure you want freedom from the good food and warmthof my household?”“I was trying to escape so that I could make my own choices.Maybe even … my own household.”“And you see taking to the wild unarmed and unequipped and,by the way, heading in the worst possible direction, as a workablestart on that objective?”“It was a start,” he muttered, sullen, hating them for toying withhim.She smiled. “It was.” She looked at him, very seriously and said, “Itwas the proof I was looking for.”“The proof of what?” He scanned their faces for signs of guile. HisMother, of course, was inscrutable, but the young woman lookedopen, curious and interested in his response.“The proof that you, of your own free will, reject the rule andpower of women. The proof that you are not just a male but are,in fact, a man. A patriarch.”He looked at Mother, his eyes wide in fright at her use of thetaboo word. Was that what he had done? He frantically tried notto remember the kinds of things they did to males after they usedwords like that. He closed his eyes tight, expecting to feel the whipacross his face, nipples or genitals.Time passed, and the women said nothing. He opened his eyes.They were obviously going to do their terrifying worst. They mayas well start by cutting my tongue out, he thought.139

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes,” he said, with a defiant strength in his voice that he didnot feel, “I have had enough of you viscious, domineering,unpredictable bitches.”The women looked at each other and grinned.“Oh my!” exclaimed the younger one.“I told you. A free man.”“I thought it impossible.” The young woman looked at him.He looked back and saw a face that was clearly a woman’s face,but … it bore the strangest look. An expression he had never seendirected at a man before.It was like the look he got from boys when he returned froma successful hunt. A look of eagerness that promised totalwillingness. Pure adoration.He looked at her mouth. Her lower lip hung slack. Her head bobbedback and forth a little in time with her fast, deep breathing.He felt a surge of heat and his penis hardened. He was surprised atthe sudden erection because he did not feel humiliated.Looking into her eyes, he marvelled at the expression he saw.Almost immediately, her eyes lowered. When they reached his lapher face reddened.She leaned forward, studying the shape beneath the thin cloth.“He is perfect! Thank you, Mother of Our Households.”“Do you think the others will approve?”“They trust me to assess him. Anyway, they are, all of them, alreadysopping wet at just the idea of competing for the attentions of anun-imprinted male with balls.”Their conversation dissolved into giggles and a long embrace.140

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKConfused, but suspecting that a torturous death was perhaps notin his immediate future, he risked a question.“If you’re not going to stuff chilli pips up my arse and have mefucked by the dogs, please tell me what you are up to.”They looked at each other and then back at him. “Well,” his Mothersaid, “we came to give you a good start in your new life.”“Meaning?” he asked.“I want you to go out into new land, properly supported andequipped to found a household. A new kind of household.”“For her?” he inquired, gesturing to the young woman.“No. For yourself and for your sons.” She gave this a little time tosink in. “There are six more women who will be meeting us soon.This woman and those six are yours. So are their horses and thegoods they carry.” She smiled. “My gift to you.”“Women … mine …” he spluttered, not managing to form thenonsensical phrase into a question.“Yes. Yours. You think the way things are is unfair. You think mencould own and manage households, given the chance. I am givingyou that chance, on a few conditions.”He had often disliked the way women treated men but had neverimagined a reversal of the situation. He looked at the youngwoman. She reddened, and looked back, trying but failing to meethis gaze. He turned back to his Mother in puzzlement.“You want me to continue escaping but with a household ofwomen that I own, as you owned me and the other men?”She turned to the young woman. “You see, dear, he can betaught.”“Not as a breeder with a pioneering Mother’s household?” hepersisted.141

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“No, they will be your breeders. You will decide if and when toimpregnate them. They will be your women.”His brain hurt. All his assumptions about the world seemed tobe suddenly wrong. It seemed that either he must be mad, or hisMother was. He looked at her companion. No help there. She hadreddened further, and was panting, mouth hanging open.“Why?” he managed.“Because we women will one day need stronger, more capablemen than we can produce with our present methods.”He looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”“One day, the world will be full. All available land will be coveredby households. There are lessons that women must learn andabilities that males … men … must gain if our form of life is toprosper. I want you to give women those lessons and I want youto drive men to develop those abilities.”“What are these abilities that men must develop?”“They have to show what they can do under their own guidance. Ican’t say what they will learn or what they will do with the worldwith any certainty. All that I know is that their abilities will haveto rival the powers of the Earth Mother Herself by the time theworld is filled.”“What is it that women have to learn?”“That men have a far greater purpose than the mere provision ofcomfort and pleasure.”“And how are we to learn these things?”“Men will take on the responsibilities that women currentlymanage. They will, with their one-line way of thinking, make,from the female perspective, a horrible mess of things. In thecourse of making this mess, they will show the true scale of theirabilities.142

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKWomen will be beneath men. They will be raised in male ways.They will, for a very long time, have no overt power at all.When they eventually do, it will be because they have personallyimmersed themselves in and mastered the masculine way.”He pondered this. It sounded rather unlikely. “What is thissupposed to achieve?” he asked.“The male mind at work. Always more interested in the destinationthan in the journey.” She sighed deeply. “Oh well. It is what it is.”“Sorry, but what you talk about seems a much larger performancethan just me going feral, or even starting a weird power-reversedhousehold.”“Yes. Much larger. You are the seed, quite literally, of an arisingthat will in time come to dominate the whole world. I am tryingto get that seed planted in such a way that its growth will not bedeformed.”“So what is this supposed to achieve?” he repeated.She did not look even moderately annoyed at his rudeness. In fact,she looked almost pleased.“It will eventually bring another moment like this, when the waypower is managed will become obviously unsustainable.”“And that means?” he prompted.“It means there will be a return to rule by women, or perhaps, justperhaps, a co-operative, integrated way may evolve.”“You say that I am the seed of this change.” He saw that she wasstill showing uncharacteristic patience. “How am I, even with ateam of women, supposed to change anything? I mean … I mean… when they give birth to a few males and imprint them, thingswill be just like here.”“Hence my conditions.”“Your conditions?”143

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes. It will happen one day that women will be so tame and menwill be so comfortable with power that the natural superiority ofthe feminine will rarely be seen. Until then, however, measuresmust be taken to establish and maintain the reversal of power.”“These … measures are your conditions?”“Yes.” She looked at him seriously. “With some minor surgery, thenatural power relations of our sexuality can be reversed.”“Surgery?”“Yes. You have no idea how the notion offends my personalaesthetic, but with some minor adjustments, the power of awoman can be reduced and a male can be rendered almostcompletely insensitive to it.”He looked at her in firm disbelief. “Nonsense. When a womanenfolds a man, even an unimprinted man, he becomesoverwhelmed and automatically follows her lead.”“Not if he is circumcised.”“Cut, like breeders?”“Yes. With breeders, it is done so that ejaculation happens as soonafter penetration as possible. They ejaculate reliably when a yonisqueezes them to take it, or contracts to resist entry. It usuallytakes no more than ten thrusts to get their squirt.”He had heard of the practice, but not its purpose. She paused,noticed his grim expression, shrugged and continued.“Not you … that would be just a little too cruel to the womenwho must accompany you, but your sons and all succeedinggenerations of men must be circumcised, and must do anotherthing that makes the procedure far more effective.”“Another thing?”“They must be taken to a river bank at puberty, and taught tomasturbate by fucking holes in soft clay.”144

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe considered this. Clay felt quite sensual, squishing between toes.It would be possible … but … He winced. “Sounds painful. Eventhe smoothest clay is abrasive.”“You would be surprised how much tougher than your penis acircumcised one is. Fucking clay, even just once a week or so turnsit to leather.”“And why would I want to do that to my …” he pondered thenovel notion, “… sons?”“When they fuck a willing, open, wet woman, they will find itunsatisfactory. If they manage to ejaculate, it will be by fuckingvery hard, deep and fast. With a woman that is dry or tight fromrevulsion or fear, they will find penetration to be much moreenjoyable and the whole experience more satisfactory. If thewoman is both tight and dry, their leathery penises will be able totear soft tissues and use the blood for lubrication.”Next to his Mother, the young woman gasped. This must be ashard for her to hear as it is for me … no, harder, he thought. Helooked at her, and was surprised to see lust, not disgust on theyoung face.“And why would a woman want them to do that?” he asked,puzzled.“What women want, in your household, will be irrelevant. Womenwill not have men on the basis of just wanting them. They willserve, fuck and bear children at the whim, the orders, of the manwho owns them.”He tried to digest this. He was starting to think that she believedthis weird story, that it was not just an elaborate preparation forsomething feminine-cruel.“Is that all?”“For the men, yes. The women will need a complementaryadjustment though, to reduce their power. It will also increasetheir dependence on men for their orgasm.”145

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Also a cutting?”“Yes.” She smiled. “I only insisted on this from the next generationon, but all of … your women already volunteered to be cut, tobetter honour you.”His head spun. The word honour usually referred to a man’serection, the absence of which was generally regarded asdisrespectful.He looked at his Mother’s companion again. A sheen of sweatglossed her forehead, and a stray lock of hair had become stuck,curling cutely on her cheekbone.“My final condition is that, as a woman is owned, so are herchildren. Your women and your children will bear your name,and if you wish it, your brand. This is why I haven’t introducedyou to my …” she studied the young woman for a moment, “…lust-sodden companion. She doesn’t have a name. Perhaps youshould give her one.”He looked at the young woman. She looked at him as men didat women. Hungry for attention and fearful of it. “Is that so?” heasked her.“My name was taken from me. I would now be a toy for theWestern Mother of Households’ pet baboons if Aeva had notsaved me for the plan.”“Why?”“I killed my Mother.”“It happens.” He shrugged.“It was the way I killed her, and why.”He looked at her and raised an eyebrow.“I bound her hand and foot and invited the males of the householdto take revenge for her treatment of them.”146

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe whistled. “That would piss the bitches off. And get all the malesof your household killed in painful ways, of course.”“Yes.” A tear fell from her eye, but she kept her composure. “It wasdone quickly, at least. The Western Mother was very concernedthat news should not spread. There was no public display of thebodies either.”“That makes sense. And why did you do it?”“Our cook was close to me. He used to comfort me after Motherbeat me. When she realised that I was fond of him, she wouldhumiliate and torture him when I misbehaved.”She sniffled, and only her nose was red now. She glared fiercelyand settled her breathing before she continued.“One day she threatened to trade him to the mines. I told herthat I no longer cared what she did with him,” she sobbed, thengathered herself, and continued bitterly, fiercely. “She burned hiseyes, cut out his tongue and served his liver at her next banquet,my banquet, celebrating my first blood-of-life.” She produced asmall cloth and dabbed her eyes with it.“All your women have such histories,” his Mother interrupted. “Itis because of either their anger at their fellow women, or theirguilt at being one that they have agreed to help with the plan.”He looked at his Mother. “You said I should give her a name?”“Yes, but you will need one yourself first. Hunter to the Mother ofHouseholds does not sound right for the First Patriarch.”“What would?” he asked, rhetorically, finding the notionexceedingly strange and the taboo word disturbing.“I suggest Adamos. The oldest word we have for man. It seemsappropriate for the first masculine ruler of men.”He felt light-headed in the wake of headache and confusion. “Finewith me.” He grinned and tried it out.147

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“I am Adamos. Owner of women.”Feeling a sudden chill of fear at saying such a thing, he lookednervously at the women. They were looking at each other.“Are you sure, dear?” his Mother asked the young woman.“Yes, very … if he will have me,” replied the youngster.“Will you belong to this man, serve him to the best of your abilities,obey him in all things and bear his children?”“I will.”“And …” She looked at him. “Do you, Adamos, claim this womanand whatever children she will bear as yours?”He looked at the young woman. Very young, he realised. Eventhough she was female, he saw vulnerability in her eyes. “Yes,” heanswered.“What will you call her?” his Mother asked.He thought a moment. “Eva,” he decided. His Mother smiled athim for choosing the name of one of her famous predecessors.“My blessings, and the blessings of all the Goddesses on yourhousehold.”The three of them sat in silence while the horses chomped noisilyon the lush grass.His Mother stood. “I am going to check on your other women.They should be nearby by now.” She mounted her horse. “Perhapsyou should use the time to better acquaint yourself with … Eva.”Without waiting for a reply, she kicked her horse into motion andwas gone.He looked at … his woman. She bowed her head respectfully.Remembering his Mother’s earlier words, he asked, “So, how wereyou cut?”148

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe red colour returned to her face. “It was really just a trimming.It healed weeks ago.”“And you consider yourself … mine now?”Her eyes flicked up to his, and then to his crotch, which was stillsemi-tumescent under the thin fabric. “Yes. Yours.” Her blushdeepened. “I will try to be obedient.”He laughed. “After a lifetime of ordering men to satisfy your everywhim that might not be easy for you.”She grimaced briefly. “I know. I will need your help and so willyour other women. We expect and we will willingly receivewhatever treatment you feel will help us become obedient.”“Why?”“As your Mother mentioned, we all have as much reason to hatethe bitches as any man does. More than that, we reject our ownfeminine chaos, distraction and impulsiveness, and want to atone,as far as we can, for the excesses of our sisters.”He considered this for a moment. “So, things are truly reversed?”“Yes.” Her forehead was wet with sweat again. Her lower liptrembled. He studied her for any sign of deception and foundnone.He stood up, and walked to a spot just behind her. “Stand up,” hecommanded, his voice edged with threat.She stood. He noticed that her legs shook slightly. “When I firstsat down,” he reminded her, “you called me an it … not veryrespectful.”Her legs shivered harder and she hung her head. “Yes. I did. I amsorry, Adamos, but your Mother …”“Was treating me in the familiar way women treat men,” hecompleted the sentence for her.149

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes.”He wondered what he should do now. He had never, of his ownaccord, given orders. The nearest thing he had experienced wasrelaying orders on behalf of a woman.“What would a woman do, in my position?” he asked, thinkingaloud.The shivering of her legs increased. “We have complex motivations,but in general a woman tends to follow the inclination of herclitoris.”True enough, he thought, then asked, “And what does your clitorissuggest?”“My clitoris no longer makes suggestions.”“Why not?”Her legs were hardly shivering now. She was holding them rigid.Her voice trembled as she answered. “When I had my yoni madeneater for you … the cutting.”“Your clitoris!”Her legs were trembling again. “Yes. I confess that I missed it morethan I thought I would, but after a lot of practice with dildos, allof us managed to relocate the source of our heat.”He considered this strange news for a while before asking forclarification. “To your yonis?”“Yes. The centre of life. Except for two of us.”“But those two still managed, as you put it, to relocate theirheat?”“Yes.”“To where?”“The anus, both of them. The centre of vulnerability.”150

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“As every man is acutely aware,” he said, grimly.“Yes,” she hissed through clenched teeth.He walked round to the front of her. She was trembling all over.Several curls of hair stuck to her wet brow. Through her robe, hernipples looked almost as hard as his penis.“Show me,” he ordered.For a moment, her eyes flashed anger at his use of imperativetones, then her mouth relaxed, her lips parted, and she smiled athim as coyly as any male had ever smiled at a woman.“A pleasure.” She stood upright. Her wraps of fine fabric fell to herfeet and heaped around them on the grass mat.“How old are you?” Her breasts were beautifully formed.The nipples were smooth with engorgement and shiny withperspiration.“Sixteen seasons, and I have been bleeding for three …”“Have you bred?”“Not yet … but I hope to,” she said, wistfully.He looked at her yoni and was surprised to see no hair. No labiaeither. None at all, like a baby girl. By the age of eight, most girlshad labia that protruded at least a finger width. By puberty,significantly more.The mons though, was erect, just as impressively as her nippleswere. It lifted the sides of her yoni apart. He knelt and lookedcloser.The scars were almost invisible. The labia and clitoral hood hadbeen smoothly cut away. He touched the apex of her slit withhis finger and pressed. The stiff little rod was entirely absent. Helooked closer and saw the fine scar. He traced it with his finger andnoticed the copious flow of her juices. She gasped and her kneesbuckled briefly.151

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Sore?” he asked.“No,” she replied through clenched teeth.He looked up at her face. She was biting her lower lip, and tearscoursed down her cheeks.He felt the truth of her vulnerability and a warm fondness, whichseemed to add to the insistent pressure of his own arousal.“This is harder than you thought?” he asked.“A lot,” she sobbed.“Do you want to change your mind, maybe imprint me so that Ican’t find release without your permission?”“No. I am yours.”“And what if I do not want to give you what your wet hole desires?”he teased.“I am yours. Treat me as you wish,” she sobbed. “Please.”He stood up and looked into her eyes. “Please what?”“Please fuck me!” She looked at him with no trace of defiance orguile. “Please use me for your release.” She looked at his erection,and her lips pouted open.His penis pulsed insistently, but he was far more used to sexualstress than she was. Realising his power, he smiled and decided totease her a little more.“Something was said about atonement.” He moved closer to herand slid his forefinger into her yoni. Her muscles contracted on itand chewed at it. “Atonement for what?”“For what we have done to men.” She moaned as he curled hisfingertip over her interior ridges.“Personally, or what women have done to men generally?”152

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Both,” she gasped, as he withdrew his finger.“What do you have to atone for, personally?”She sobbed. “I used boys and men as all women do. I was oftencruel. Sometimes to avoid the displeasure of other women, butsometimes …”He watched her carefully and pushed the wet finger steadily intoher anus and his thumb into her yoni. She trembled all over andtears gushed as her eyelids squeezed shut.“Sometimes …” he prompted.“Sometimes I teased them, humiliated them and hurt them of myown accord.”Rubbing his finger and thumb slowly but insistently against thesoft flesh between them, he asked, “Why?”She sobbed again. “Because I despised their dependence, theirweakness. I wanted to punish them for not being worthy of being… men.” He took a breast in his other hand and grasped the nipplewith thumb and forefinger. He pinched it hard. Her eyes flew wideopen and she gasped.He looked into her eyes and said, “And why are men so dependent,so weak?”“Because the bitches breed docile strains, raise them in constantterror, imprint them and castrate most of them.”He squeezed harder with his right hand, compressing the slipperyflesh between thumb and forefinger, then pinched her nippleagain with his left. For a while, he watched her gasp and twitch ashe alternated the location and the severity with which he pinchedher. Her breathing became ragged, her hair clumped wetly allover her face. She alternated between pleading with her eyes andshutting them tight. More tears flowed.“So you helped the bitches and you took advantage of the situationthey created?”153

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes,” she moaned.He removed his thumb and finger from her orifices and releasedher breast. He removed his clothes. Her eyes fixed on his penis asit sprung free.“Kneel,” he instructed and she obeyed.“Is this what you want?” he asked, taking his penis in his lefthand.She nodded and looked up at him.He held her chin in his right hand and rubbed his penis on herface. When it came near her mouth, she licked at it hungrily.He let go of his bursting manhood and her chin. She opened hermouth and swallowed him. A thrill of fear shot through him andthen he relaxed. She did not suck at the head roughly, nor didshe bite. Her mouth was soft and felt delicious. He paid carefulattention for a moment and detected no sensation of teeth at all.She moved her head closer and he felt enfolded by her throat. Hisknees shook.He pulled out of her mouth and gasped, then stepped back andlooked at her.“You are my woman,” he said.“Yes,” she said softly, looking up at him with the adoration thathad so confused him earlier.“And you are a bitch,” he said, his voice soft and his feelings hard.“You are guilty of making men feel worse than I made you feel.”He slapped her firmly on her cheek.“Yes,” she said, sitting back on her heels, smiling as her eyeswatered, “your bitch.”“I could relieve myself in your mouth, and order you not to satisfyyourself.”154

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“I could not satisfy myself anyway,” she said quietly. “Not withouta dildo, and those are only to be used after asking your permissionin any case.”He considered this for a moment.“You really are more or less in the position of an imprinted malethen,” he said, moving behind her.She looked at him over her shoulder. “Yes.”“Except that I don’t know the commands that block or cause yourorgasm.”“There are none,” she said quietly.He squatted behind her and pushed her forward on to all fours.“Only a lingam or a dildo?”“With great difficulty and short nails I can almost manage withmy fingers.”“Almost?”“Right to the edge, but not enough for satisfaction.”“But with a dildo, you can gain release?”“A dildo is workable, but it is hard and difficult to move it right. Alingam is definitely best.”“And is it the same as orgasm was before you were … made neaterand plucked your hair?”“No. It is deeper than what I felt from my clit. More satisfying inone way, but much less reliable … and the hunger for more of itreturns sooner.”“Less reliable?”“Even if the fucking is hard and long, it takes concentration.” Shearched her back, parting her buttocks slightly.155

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLHe looked at the inverted exclamation mark of anus and vagina.Mine, he thought.He reached out and dipped his fingertips in her wetness. Her backarched further and her buttocks parted completely. He laughedand she gave a low, plaintive moan.He pressed his wet fingertips to her yoni and teased it gently open,asking, “And there are seven of you?”“You own seven of us bitches,” she confirmed. She moanedlouder and dropped from hands to elbows, further exposing herenveloping parts. He realised that he was looking upon a woman’slust without feeling fear.“So, if you are lucky, and I find you worthwhile, you can expectto be fucked only occasionally at best, and be satisfied by it onlyif you manage good concentration.” He grabbed her buttocksand pulled them wide apart. “These holes are your only route topleasure, and I could leave them forever unfulfilled.”“Yes.”He released his grip on her buttocks. They stayed spread almost aswide as he had been holding them. She was, he noticed, pluckedcompletely clean of all hair. He ran his hands over her body. All ofit was perfectly smooth. Plucked as smooth as any male.“It seems that you are committed to your atonement.”“Yes,” she sniffed.He slid three fingers into her. His little finger scissored over whereher clitoris had once been as his thumb reached her anus. Shegasped and fell forward half twisted, chin and shoulder on thegrass mat. He withdrew his hand, grabbed her gorgeous softbuttocks again and positioned the head of his lingam just insidethe wet entrance of her yoni.She pushed back onto him and moaned deeply. He thrust intoher and held her buttocks tight against him. She cried out and her156

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKinterior muscles grabbed and sucked at him. He reared back andplunged into her again, then again.Her panting breath became words as his fucking settled into arhythm. “Please yes. Please yes. Fill me … with your … seed.”He froze. Her yoni clenched around him. “Put a baby in me,” shepleaded.He pulled against the clenching and his penis came free. “Oh God,no, please no!” she exclaimed and pushed back, trying to envelophim again. He panted and waited for steadiness to return.Gradually, his panting subsided and he could speak.“I haven’t even met the others, and here I am about to impregnateyou.”“Please.” Her voice was soft. “We all want to bear your babies.”“I think I should decide whom I impregnate, and when,” he said.“Please let me be first.”He looked at his penis. It bobbed up and down in time with hisheartbeat, pointing at her yoni and her anus at each end of itsswing.“Perhaps,” he said, “but not this time,” and plunged deep into thecentre of her vulnerability.157

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLInferior menAristotle, it is said, regarded love between men as superior to lovebetween man and woman, his reason being that woman is aninferior form of man.Within the patriarchal structures that we inherit from ancientGreece, this is more or less true.Patriarchy is a reaction to matriarchy. It has been a time of (over-)correction and learning for humanity. At its dawn, of which fewlegends remain, the suppression of feminine power was extreme.Social and legal attitudes were rigid.Now, long comfortable in its power, patriarchy has discarded allbut the most essential brutalities of its management style.In much of the world, people of previously frowned-upon gender,sexual orientation, race, cultural background and so on are nowfree to participate in the patriarchal structures, and enjoy somepatriarchal political rights.When feminists rebelled against the ownership system ofmarriage, they did not abolish ownership of women by men. Theylegitimised ownership by making it more mutual, more equal.They gained the right to participate as equivalents of men in thepolitical system.Within patriarchy, the true feminine is almost invisible. Thegeneral situation is that everyone has, or is struggling to acquire,the rights of a male citizen of the culture.Women in this system are a form of man. Many of them are suchpowerful, refined and well-developed forms of men that theyhold power, prestige and fame within the culture. Some disproveAristotle’s assertion of their inferiority by being such outstandingforms of men.158

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKParis Hilton has shown the world that a woman can be every bitas much the rake as any man; Heidi Fleiss, that a woman can be abetter pimp; and Angelina Jolie is a better action hero than TomCruise and his Hollywood peers.Margaret Thatcher, a.k.a. Attila The Hen, and more recently theaggressive American female politicians have matched men ingaining and wielding political power.Within patriarchy, we are all men. This has consequences forthe relationships between men and women. Relationships in apatriarchal culture happen in patriarchal ways and are containedby patriarchal archetypes.Within patriarchy the most common archetype of relationship isapprenticeship. Between males, the sexual relationship is, in themain, pederasty. Whatever the genders involved, one is senior anddominant, the other is junior and submissive.Look at almost any couple. They can be a straight couple, gay menor lesbians, it makes no difference. One is senior and one is juniorand that defines their relationship.They may have a reversal of that power dynamic in some areas,but the archetypal pattern will rule – one will still be the seniorand one the junior. Master and apprentice.The structure of patriarchal relationship does not require the malepartner in a straight relationship to be the senior. It just requiresthat one follows and the other leads, in linear, masculine style.A major point of stress in any relationship comes when the juniorpartner matches the senior one, when the apprentice matches theskill of the master. When the junior’s skill grows to exceed that ofthe senior, the relationship seldom survives, and never without anextensive re-negotiation of its terms.A relationship that lasts is usually one in which the apprenticenever attains the capabilities of the master. It is perhaps a positivesign that so few relationships last long these days.159

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLWomen have had multi-generational training in the masculineway of power. Collectively they now know the uses, strengths andlimitations of masculine linear, penetrative power.Having mastered that, some of them then aspire to real power.Serious power. The power of direction and command, which isintrinsically feminine.Men, too have had multi-generational training. Theirs has been inthe use of power and discovering their need for deeper guidancethan blinkered masculine hubris.True power is inherently feminine. A good general is far morefeminine in his thinking than his soldiers.The soldier follows a simple male linear program which doesnot require much more information than that required to rape,pillage and burn targets in a specified order.The general has to consider far more than just his forces’moves and the enemy’s countermeasures. He has to considersupply chains, food quality, medical care and morale as well asthe political consequences of his strategic actions. This level ofcomplexity cannot be managed in a linear, one-pointed manner.This level of management requires a broadly receptive andintuitive perception.The love of soldiers for exceptional generals is legendary. Whendoing things in the masculine, linear way, it is a delight to unleashone’s vajra – one’s penetrative energy – with totality. This is easiestwhen one feels responsively and responsibly directed.It is the breadth of understanding and the deep considerationof all factors in every strategic decision that soldiers respect in ageneral.Each of us has masculine and feminine qualities. We have afeminine mind that holds the overview and assesses chaoticand random factors which cannot be handled with linear logic.It processes this massive complexity in the form of feelings andintuition. Our masculine mind follows sequential steps to a goal.160

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKIn most of us these aspects are subconscious in turns. We switchbetween them. When one of them is the currently conscious mind,it knows little or nothing of the other.Our feminine overview gets mired in feelings of hopelessness ordespair because it knows nothing of linear action.Our masculine directed intensity gets trapped in circular pursuitsor suffers unintended consequences that only a responsiveoverview could have avoided.Our logical, linear, masculine mind develops a dislike for theconfusing, nebulous and chaotic emotions that leak across fromthe deep, expansive feminine mind.Our feelings and intuition are repeatedly frustrated and disregardedin our one-pointed pursuit of money, stuff and experiences.Awareness of these inner aspects often starts when we meet themin another person. When we fall in love, it is usually with someonewho resembles our inner masculine or feminine.Deeper awareness of these inner aspects can be a bit of a surprise,sometimes an unpleasant one.A friend of mine realised that her male aspect was a pimp. Hewould select a man, befriend the fellow, dazzle him with the bodyand negotiate the cost, be it cash, goods, goodies, maintenanceor connections. In bed, her masculine aspect would then forcethe feminine aspect to comply with the deal, demanding hercompliance and an outstanding sexual performance, no matterwhat her feelings and intuition had to say about it.When she realised this, her predominantly male mode of doingthings stopped, and she spent several months in the pure feminine,immersed in emotion and chocolate.After much introspection and exploration, she found a memoryof when her masculine aspect had originally taken over her life.161

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe had been financially destitute and stranded in a foreigncountry. An appeal for help to her family had failed. She collapsedinwardly. Suddenly, it had seemed as if a man sat down next toher. Later known to her as her own masculine aspect, he had saidthat he could help if she could follow his direction. In relief andgratitude, she had agreed.Later that evening she had a large bundle of cash in her bag anda smile on her face. Following her inner male’s direction, reapingthe financial rewards and creating her lifestyle had became alot of fun. It took some time before her inner relating becameconflicting, her masculine eventually forcing her to unwillingcompliance.She realised that her masculine aspect had become ugly, bullyingand overbearing as a natural continuation of the action she hadonce needed and requested of him. Her feminine aspect had atfirst enjoyed, later tolerated and finally come to hate her masculineaspect.It took a while before her feminine aspect could admit that shehad not given any correction, redirection or clear objection towhat her masculine had continued and come to excel at. Henceshe had to share the responsibility for what had happened.This brought peace closer, but a strong fear remained in herfeminine that her masculine would once again take charge of herwhole life if she allowed him any presence at all.Starting with small steps and carefully limited objectives, sheexperimented with wanting something with her feminine aspectand asking her masculine aspect to do the necessary.She found out that he was really good at many things, just … onething at a time.Her feminine aspect rose to the challenge of command: Beingwilling to select one objective for action at a time. Being willingto keep wanting the objective all the way through to completion.162

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKRemembering to express gratitude to the masculine once anobjective is achieved.In this way, step by step, friendliness and a workable relating werecreated.Developing strong awareness of your masculine and feminineaspects is essential to this work. One main difficulty with this isthat our cultural division of boy and girl stuff is not a good matchfor the polarities of the masculine and feminine within us.The cultural division between the functions, clothing, socialstanding and occupations of men and women is the divisionbetween senior and junior. It is not a very accurate parallel to thetrue polarities of masculine and feminine.Dressing showily and expensively is intrinsically masculine,although culturally, men have learned to put the fancy stuff on awoman and then wear the woman.Managing the resources of a household is intrinsically feminine.The French and Japanese excepted, most cultures regard this as amale prerogative.The capacity for long-term resentment and explosive emotion arepart of our feminine. The guidance of intuition is the femininemind gleaning meaning from chaos.Men are generally less responsive to their feminine intuition. Thisgives rise to the phenomenon known as male intuition, whichmany women suffer from as well.Male intuition is almost always expressed in the form: I knew,damn it, I knew I should (or should not) have ~ taken that job,married that woman, drank that whisky, smoked that joint, got onthat aeroplane …The most common male failing is the tendency to power ahead on acourse of action while paying no attention whatsoever to changingcircumstances. The male mind also has difficulty committing toactions that he does not, in a linear manner, understand.163

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe most common feminine difficulty is forming the will to makechoices. It is challenging to select from the huge range perceived.The feminine loves the range, the broad scope of possibility and isprone to endless distraction and indecision.Looking at your life, your modes of operation, you can becomemore aware of the politics and tensions between your inneraspects.To explore them, notice yourself in typical male or female modeas you do everyday things.For example, if you are driving with the intent to get ahead,tracking down the road to your destination and find yourselfhandling obstacles as they present themselves, your masculinemind is in the driving seat.If, however, you find yourself enjoying the countryside, the othermotorists and perhaps a conversation with a friend sitting nextto you or on the mobile phone, while you fix your makeup andwonder what your lover is doing right now … your femininemind is doing the driving.The masculine mind can win a race. The feminine mind is betterat remaining sane in traffic jams and noticing extraneous factorslike police, pedestrians and pets … but not potholes.Sensual moments, sucking on a cigar, tasting wine, soaking in arose-scented bath and so on are good times to become aware ofyour feminine mind. In a happy condition, it opens to and enjoysthe incoming sensations and feelings. In an unhappy state, it seestrouble in a myriad of simultaneous directions, and death as theinevitable outcome of all endeavour.The masculine mind is especially available for the completionof linear tasks. If you drive home, not necessarily fast, but withintent, then fetch yourself a beer and sit on a couch, you may findyour masculine mind at home.164

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKIf you get good at noticing these aspects of yourself, you willbecome aware of a third. Your witness. The aspect of mind thatnotices what another aspect of mind is currently up to.When you have a good awareness of this interior trinity, it ispossible to experience yourself in each aspect for a while andthen switch deliberately to another aspect. It can feel like you areforcing a split in yourself, but really, you are revealing it.The next step is to get them into conversation. Make three sittingplaces. Put something symbolic of your masculine near one,something that evokes your feminine by another and leave thethird place neutral.Pick a place to start. Sit there and feel into your male, female orwitness mind. Say something to one or both of the others. Sitsilently for a few seconds and then switch to another seat.In that mind, hear what has been said, then take enough time tofeel it in fullness before responding.Be willing to have an argument or two with yourself if that turnsout to be necessary. The agenda is to work for a good co-operativefit, a harmony. On the way to that worthy goal, you may have tobreak through a few layers of your inner righteousness, on bothsides of your mind’s gender divide.Although harmonious co-operation is a worthy goal, it is just abeginning.Through co-operation, mutual respect can develop. Through theachievement of shared objectives, a friendship can be formed.When one’s inner masculine and feminine dance very closetogether, in great awareness and friendliness, love becomes apossibility.The rare and beautiful phenomenon of inner lovemaking betweenour own masculine and feminine aspects is called Sacred Union,the Inner Marriage or Mahamudra.165

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIn this lovemaking, it is possible for one’s inner masculine/feminine polarity to become integrated. One then engages life as abeing that is simply human rather than as a male or a female.This step of integration brings a being very close indeed, veryavailable, to the condition called enlightenment. For some, itis their final step. Many historical schools classified it as theirhighest, or even their only objective.166

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKModern timesThe shaman’s wife woke him the next afternoon and offered hima lift to the airport. It took him a little while to recognise her, cladas she was now in black jeans and a jacket that looked as if it wasmade of liquid silver.“If it is possible, I would rather come with you to change my ticket.I would like to spend a few more days here, if that is possible.”“It is not. Baba is unwell.”“I am sorry to hear it. Is he unwell because of …”“Your spirit journey?” she interrupted. “A bit, yes. He has beenunwell for the last ten years. He hides it well, but now he needssome serious rest.”“Will I see him before we leave?”“No, but he has asked me to tell you a few things on our drive.”“Well … that sounds pretty settled … thank you.”She grinned. “You are welcome.” She waved her car keys. “We hadbetter get going. It takes over two hours to reach the airport if onerespects the speed limits. I will be back for you in half an hour.”She sparkled out of the hut.An hour later, they were blasting along the coast road, a greatocean on their left and, it seemed, all of the thousand lush greenhills of the tribal lands on their right.Their conversation turned to their upbringing. She had also hadsome years of exile, but on return had responded to the traditionalcalling and immersed herself deeply in traditional ways for severalyears.167

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe did not tell the story of her traditional marriage to the wisdomholder of an entire continent, except to say that it was the only wayfor her to be in a position to gather and preserve that wisdom.They exchanged email addresses, and made tentative arrangementsfor her to present a paper at a conference he was planning.“Seeing you now,” he said, “it is hard to find a trace of thetraditional healer. No grass skirt, no bones …”He paused for a while, absorbed in memory, then asked, “It wasyou that held me?”She smiled at him, in a completely western and familiar way,making no attempt to avoid his eyes. “Yes.”“Thank you.”Her smile became positively impish. “What do you remember?”“I … am still sorting it out, I think.” He frowned. “Some thingsare a bit mixed up. I remember him talking, and you … but in thedreamlike space, I seem to remember him … and you.”“I am glad you remember at least something. Baba said that youmight be too westernised and you might let it fade like a dream.”“No … That is not what is happening. More, in a way, the opposite.The more I remember, the more I examine my memories, themore real everything seems to have been.”“In what way more real?”“Well, it seems like a dream memory until I focus on something.The memory gets clearer then, and it seems to be … kind ofpersonal. Almost as if it was my memory, from my life. As if I was…” His voice faded and he turned to her.She was gripping the wheel a little more firmly than necessary.Her gaze was fixed on the road ahead. Without turning to him, sheasked, her voice tightly stressed. “As if you were … who?”168

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHe considered this. Memory blurred over reality. He rememberedhis terror, his chilling fear of castration, the elation of his escape.He shook his head in confusion. “I was … it seemed, I felt … Iwas …”He looked at her. She continued to stare down the road ahead.“But it was a vision. A dream … not real. Like a movie.” His voicefaded away.He saw the curve of her cheek, the vulnerability of her throat. Heremembered his lust.He saw a tear trembling on her lower eyelid, sparkling in theafternoon sunlight.“Not like a movie,” he muttered. “You were … you really were…”He closed his eyes. “Too real. Not like a movie.” He gasped asadrenaline reached his heart and shock slid icily through his body.His mind reeled with the impact of discovering that it had avoidedknowing something.“No,” she said, breaking her silence and dabbing at her eye withthe back of her hand. “Not like a movie. More like a stagedperformance.”The shock found its way to his lower belly where it settled andstrongly resisted his efforts to evict it.Some words crawled out of his mouth. “You mean I, you, we …”She was staring straight ahead again, an amused but somewhattight smile on her previously luscious, soft lips. He recalled theirtenderness, their yielding …After several minutes of silence, she glanced at him. He sat rigid,hands clenched in fists, eyes shut tight, and forehead too deeplylined for someone in their early thirties.169

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Not all of it, you know,” she said, her voice only slightly tight.“Just a few key moments, to … assist … the vision.” She returnedher attention to the road.The interior of the powerful air-conditioned vehicle was quietenough that she could hear him draw breath a minute or so later.His breathing took a while to settle.He looked at her. She glanced at him in that moment. Thefriendliness in her eyes was more unsettling than what he hadexpected to see, but he still managed to speak. “I think I may oweyou a very big apology.”“Baba said he hoped you would be able to recall the vision withat least some accuracy. He hoped that a little more time with mewould evoke some deja vu to save it from fading like a dream.”She was quiet for a little while before adding, “Baba will beimpressed, and very pleased that your recall is so good. It was ascary but wonderful experience for me and I volunteered freely.You do not owe me any apology.”“Well, my thanks then. I feel … indebted.”She smiled. “Baba will like that. He wants you to record and preservethat history as best you can. He would also like the awareness younow carry to be of influence in shaping this country. He hopesyou will be able to share it with those who are in a position tomake a difference.”“I … I will try, but I have no idea how, as yet.”Pointing to the dashboard clock, she said, “That is why we stillhave some time together.”170

Chapter 8Tantric sexReality is here.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLOld schoolThe yogi walked into the river until the water reached his waist.He leaned forward, cupped water in his hands and splashed hisface.Looking up, he noticed the sky outlining the far bank of theriver. “Always brightest just before the dawn,” he muttered, thensmiled.He washed thoroughly then stood naked on the river bankwatching the sun rise while a warm morning breeze dried him.The river bank was getting busy while he fetched his robe andsandals from the rock he had left them on and dressed. He touchedhis palm to his head. It did not need a shave.Looking around, he noticed a fruit seller amidst the washing andworshipping. He strolled over to the fellow and exchanged a smallcoin for two bananas, an avocado and a juice coconut.“Big day?” the fellow asked, commenting on the extravagantbreakfast.“Yes.” The yogi grinned and almost shared a hint of his secretbefore remembering that it was a secret.The fruit seller looked at him quizzically. The yogi’s smilebroadened as he thanked the man, but he declined the invitationto share any more of his news.After a half hour’s walk, he came to his accustomed breakfast spot,a clearing next to the cart tracks, with a view of the temple.As he ate his breakfast the sun cleared the hill behind him and litthe temple’s eastern wall, revealing the intricate carvings of Gods,Goddesses, people, imps, demons and animals arranged in almostevery combination of erotic possibility.172

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKEven at this distance he could make them out, not that he neededto. After a year as an initiate, meditating on them daily, he knewtheir every line, every curve, every suggestion of breath, bated orflowing, every hint of ecstasy and every nuance of intent.He marvelled for the first time not at the carvings themselves, butat the mastery of the hands that had cut these images with suchartistic sensitivity.Initiates, yogis as he once had been, started arriving. Their dyedrobes and shaved heads contrasted sharply with the white robesand mostly long hair of the dakas and dakinis that they approachedat the entrance to be given their work or meditation assignmentsfor the day.He remembered his fear when he had first encountered the whiterobedones. They had seemed so forbidding in their strangeness.Their robes – white in conscious imitation of a death-shroud –had been part of it, but their attitude, conveyed in the confidenceof their movement, the wildness of their hair and the directness oftheir gaze had been very unsettling.At first, their directives had seemed imperious and arbitrary. Overtime though, their instructions had seemed, more and more, tomake a strange kind of sense. He had gradually come to willinglyaccept their guidance.Yesterday he had been invited, in a traditional secretive whisper, toenter their temple and become one of them.As he approached the temple, he remembered his whisperedinstructions: Find a moment when no Initiates can see you, thenpush open the temple door and enter.It turned out that this was harder than he expected. Even thoughhe had arrived deliberately late, stragglers kept arriving. He tookas long as possible over his ritual washing, and then found a brush,with which he pretended to sweep the immaculately clean slab ofmarble in front of the door.173

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLAfter the stragglers, Initiates kept returning for clarification onconfusing assignments. Each seemed to arrive shortly beforeanother had left.He waited until almost midday when a rare lone one turned toleave. He leaped to push the door before another could arrive.It was already open, and closed behind him as he stumbledthrough.He recovered his balance, looked around and realised he wouldhave to wait for his eyes to adjust. Gradually, they did.Standing in front of the now closed door was the dakini who hadwhispered the invitation to him.“Well, that took long enough,” she said, smiling. “It was a trickymorning for it, to be sure. This was only the third time that I couldopen the door.”Surprised, he looked at her, and then all around. They werealone in a huge, high-vaulted space. His surprise deepened intoconfusion.“Not what you expected?”“Well.” He looked around some more, and then at her. “Thetemple looks very different inside. No statues, and not even anydecoration.”“And what were you expecting?” she asked.“I had not paid much attention to the rumours, but when youwhispered to me yesterday, I knew that at least one of them wastrue: The invitation is made in secret.”He noticed that she seemed to be waiting for him. Realising thathe had not answered her question, he tried again.“I thought that a statue of the Goddess of this Temple was mostlikely. One far more finely carved, more detailed, more lifelikethan the statues outside.”174

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“And what had you heard about what would happen?”“A ritual of some kind. There were many theories, but no onereally claimed to know.”He looked at her. She looked back, expectantly. He continued.“The most popular idea was that it would be some very intense,very sexual ritual, perhaps an orgy. I considered that fairly likely,especially considering our initiation and our year of meditationwith the statues.”“So what do you think now?”The yogi looked around again. Smooth marble cut in simple lines.No statues. The only human forms in the large space were his andhers.He looked at her, seeing for the first time beyond her white robeand the status it indicated. She stood completely still and appearedat once very relaxed and very alive.“I think …” He paused, took a deliberate breath and met her levelgaze before continuing, “I think that the rumours about the statueare true. I think you are that statue.”She remained unmoving for a few seconds more, then smiledslowly. “Do you know what happens now?”“Nothing I have heard makes sense now. I have no idea.”“Excellent.”She swept past him, her robe brushing his ankle, and headeddiagonally across the polished floor.His feet flapped loudly in contrast to her barefoot silence as hestumbled in his haste to catch up.He noticed that the scale of the space had been an illusion. Whathad appeared to be a distant wall came closer. The angle of theirapproach revealed a gap in the wall.175

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe gap widened as they approached and became a passage. Thepassage ended at a door which opened into a small room withhigh walls, well lit because it was open to the sky.The room had two other doors. The dakini went to one, andpointed to the other. “That one is yours. Go inside and developas powerful an energy in your body as you can manage. Vajra(thunderbolt, diamond) energy. Not just the root. All chakras toyour full capacity.”She studied his features briefly, saw his mouth hanging open andseemed satisfied. She continued. “Stay in there, building yourenergy, until I open the door at the far end of your room.”He looked at her, wanting to ask what would happen then, butthought better of it, pushed ‘his’ door open and stepped through.176

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKDon’t dream it … be itTouch work lovingly confronts and removes reflexive barriers toawareness – to the wonders and challenges of actual feeling andsensation.Erotic work drills down through the mind’s versions of power,love, bliss and surrender to reveal the truth of these things.Tantric sexual meditation is a deep immersion in the dharma (thetruth) of the highest natural form of sex. The intense energiesinvolved also make the participants into attractors, lightning rods,for earth, spirit and divine energies.In this book, I try most of all to encourage a good attitude andapproach to the middle area of Tantra – the erotic. I find it tobe largely misunderstood, ignored or unknown in the currentliterature – and it is what most tantrikas of any sincerity will bebusy with, for most of their path.Mostly though, I give it emphasis because it is the area that manytantrikas like to ignore or gloss over. The strong egos that areessential to Tantra are very prone to taking on a practice becauseit is advanced or impressive, hence they are often in too much ofa hurry for high sex, tantric sex, mahamudra, sacred union andso on.Only when the process of erotic disillusionment is complete, orvery well advanced, can sex be experienced as what it actually is,sans dream.Eroticism is a kind of dream. What is mentally associated withwhat is happening seems more ‘real’ than what is actually beingexperienced.Sex beyond the erotic, sex as it is, natural and free of any repression,is only attainable once one leaves the dream and becomes thatwhich is happening.177

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThis transition is often not very smooth. There is often a timebetween the losing of the dream and the gaining of the real. A timewhen one has lost the false heat of the mind’s erotic agenda, andnot yet found the true heat. This can be unpleasant, frustratingand lonely. Death meditation (in note 8) is recommended.Tantric sex can take many forms, and, weirdly, can even happenwithout the shedding of clothes and at a considerable distance …It can, but apart from a few schools where egos made a fetish ofthis capacity, most tantrikas tend to prefer skin-to-skin.The essence of tantric sex is naturalness: the true response ofa body to another body. Perceiving and supporting the largeenergies involved, one brings them to their most blissful andcomplete expression.But … strange as it may seem, it is not always that easy.Like racing driving, martial arts, legal argument, computerprogramming, window cleaning and theoretical physics, specialisedtraining and skills are involved. Capacities and capabilities beyondthe range of ‘normal human’ have to be developed. This generallytakes a few years.Logically, it is easy to assume that a truly conscious sexualencounter, uncluttered by the eros of the mind would be a fairlyeasy thing to manage. An easy assumption, but generally wrong.One of the exercises we do on intensive retreats exposes men toan unambiguously delicious sensory experience. Although, whenhearing about the exercise and imagining it, or remembering itafterwards, they may become very aroused, during the actualexercise though, erections are vanishingly rare.A responsive dance with the energies of sexuality as they are, andnot as they are imagined, is only possible when one respondsmore strongly to the real than the fantasy. When internet porn isjust a pattern of light on a screen, and only the beloved’s touch isthe beloved’s touch.178

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe positions of traditional tantric sexual meditations (describedat the end of note 1) do not define tantric sex. They are just aframework within which the participants meet. It is the participantswho define the energies involved and the level of meditation, notthe technique.Tantrikas need to share and receive energy on a different scalefrom ‘normal’ people, just as free divers need to hold their breathlonger than the rest of us. We also learn to be careful with thoseenergies.A while ago, a dakini in a particularly generous mood touched aman and happened to not have any restraint on her energy. To her,it was just a friendly gesture, but the impact of that touch to hisnervous system, caused a reflexive ejaculation.On another occasion, a dakini lay down on her own plinth in asession to invite her student’s touch. She does this sometimes as away of finding out what the student has learnt. She felt a ‘taking’touch, and usually would have pointed this out and helped himto bring some energy to his touch. This time, she instead openedherself to the ‘taking’ unreservedly, just to see what he would dowith it. He passed out, fortunately falling comfortably and safelyacross her body.Personal mastery of tantric sexual meditations and the abilityto teach them is part of what defines a dakini. Patience is alsonecessary: to select and guide the few that have sufficient capacity,emotional resilience, awareness and desire for this work.Compassion is essential.179

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLInner templeThe dakini backed out of the door to the woman’s preparationroom as the door the yogi had gone through clanked shut. Shetook a small stone from the sleeve pocket of her robe and wedgedher door slightly open with it.A few minutes later, she was in her personal chamber. She grabbeda fresh robe from the rail behind the door, threw it over hershoulder and hurried to the kitchen.She entered the kitchen through a trick back door and wanderedthrough as if supervising the place, eating opportunistically as shewent. A handful of berries, a chunk of creamy buffalo milk cheeseand a steamy cake of nuts and grain …As she dipped a bowl she had found into a pot of spiced tea, a yogion cooking duty looked at her in horrified confusion.She looked back at him sternly. He scuttled away.She walked out of the kitchen, through the covered alcovewhere students were beginning to gather and sat on a bench inthe sunlight. The chai was good. Fiercely spiced but nonethelessnuanced and delicate, right down to a luxurious hint of saffron.“Ah, here you are.” The voice came from a fellow white-robe whohad managed to sit on her bench without her noticing.Drawing a steadying breath, she turned to face the old daka whoselessons had formed so much of her path. “Are you … supervisingme?” she asked.His face creased up in mirth, his wrinkles revealing that they hadwrinkles of their own. Laughter exploded simultaneously fromher and her old friend. The nearby initiates were startled by thisand moved away from them.180

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK“Do you feel a need for supervision?” he asked in a conspiratorialwhisper.“Not at all, although I am deviating slightly from a procedure thatI was taught.”“Deviating?” he prompted.“Well, I am welcoming a tantrika into the inner temple, and I amnot in the Woman’s Room. I am here drinking chai.”He grinned. “I am sure you are gathering your energy every bit aseffectively as you would in the Woman’s Room.”“Definitely.” she agreed. “Actually more effectively because I wouldhave been hungry there. Candles and incense are not edible.”“What are you going to do with him?”She looked at her old friend with surprise. “You know.”“Well, not really. I know the rules of the ritual, but, as you arecurrently demonstrating, rules are always subject to the creativeinterpretations of the wise.”She laughed, and his wrinkles danced as his laughter joined hers.As their laughter subsided, her attention turned to his question.She smiled, appreciating the sharp cunning of the old man’s mind,knowing that he already knew what she would find.“What a tempting suggestion.” She considered the temptation,enjoying its intrinsic hubris while humbly admitting her needto consider it. She reviewed the rituals and considered the likelyeffects of altering the order and timing. She considered whichof the prescribed practices were essential and which could bereplaced.She considered what was expected of her. She considered howchanging the parameters of the ritual could support that agenda.She considered her own aesthetic, her own feelings about how shewould like the ritual to look.181

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLShe remembered her own first ritual in the temple. The fear/excitement, the desire/dread and the reality she had met. Shelooked fondly at the old man.“Just as you did for me …” She took a deep breath, overwhelmedfor a moment by the intensity of her gratitude, and then anotherbreath to steady her voice before she continued, “I will help himbecome what he is.”182

Chapter 9Death and EnlightenmentIt don’t seem the same since cosmic light came into my life.

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLDark nightI was still struggling to breathe at midday when my host andbenefactor, whose guest cottage I had occupied for around a yearnow, came by.“I’m worried about you. I want to take you to the hospital.” Hereally did look worried. It was an uncomfortable expression on hisusually cheery face. It did not suit him.I strained to take a useful breath. My lungs were solid withthickening phlegm and the slight oxygenation I felt was hardlyworth the bother. I settled for just forcing the body to animate, satup a bit, and shuffled back to lean against the headboard.“Charles, dear friend, I know you are worried and I am very sorryto be causing you this concern. It is pretty bad, and it looks worse,I am sure.”Painfully, and trying not to show the pain, I forced more breathinto my lungs and gathered some strength.I lifted my head, locked eyes with him, and hit him with it, firmly.“No hospital.”He flushed, reddening to the tips of his smallish ears. I regrettedmy harshness but was determined that this discussion go myway.“I will get a doctor here for you then,” he said, working hard torestrain the snap his anger wanted to lend his voice. His bodylanguage indicated a decision made, and he turned to leave thesmall room.“I am sorry Charles, but no doctors either. Please. Come, sit downand let me try to explain.”He stopped at the door, wanting to leave now and enforce hisobviously correct solution to the situation. Prevented by my184

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKrequest, he turned and looked at me. I saw his anger choke up intoexasperation.The Basil Fawlty quality of it brought me a smile, but I held backon the chuckle. He sat down on the corner of the bed and tried,unsuccessfully, to look stern. His voice was firm enough though.“OK, you stubborn bastard. Tell me why you’re being so bloodyimpossible.”I reached over to the side table and dragged the heavy glass ashtrayonto the bed between us. Taking the hint, he offered a cigaretteand lit one himself. I tore the filter off mine, sucked hard at thelight he offered, inhaled as quickly as I could manage and grabbeda handful of tissues. I got them in front of my mouth in time tocatch the coughing which followed. It hurt, but I welcomed theoxygen and the easier breathing which followed. “Enough for me.”I forced a smile, and stubbed the tasteless thing out.“Rahasya, I am not kidding,” he said. “You are clearly in very, verybad shape indeed.”“I know. And I know the centre of your concern. The last coupleof nights have been very bad for me, and you are worried I coulddie, maybe even tonight.”Now that it was out there between us, his anger receded completely.His eyes brightened with a hint of tears withheld, and his voicesoftened. “Yes. I did not want to say it, but it looks like that to me.Really does.”“After the last two nights, I can’t disagree with you,” I said, andthen gave him time to realise I was not disagreeing. It took a littlewhile. Now he looked shocked. “If I did die tonight, it would behorrible and very inconvenient for you. I know. It is a lot to askyou to risk that.”“Indeed,” he retorted, “it would be one hell of an inconvenience,to be sure, but that is hardly the point. The point is that you coulddie!”185

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL“Yes, Charles, and I know it is a hell of a thing to ask, and it isweird to ask, and it is not fair to ask, and it is not fair to presumeso much of our friendship … any friendship … but I am asking.”He was listening, with obvious impatience, but he was listening.I was feeling very weak, and hoped I was managing not to let itshow. I continued, “If I do die tonight, I apologise in advance forthe trouble. I would like to be burned here on your farm, but myparents will have other ideas …” Oops … too far …Now he looked unhappy indeed, and was probably seeing me asnot having the full rational quota in the fear of death department.He was probably right too.“But, Charles, I can’t back this up with logic or anything like it. Ijust don’t think I will die. I have no explanation why I think this,but I do. I am just pretty sure that, although this really looks likethat, it is not really quite like that.”His expression shifted from concern again, moved a little intoanger, then into familiar resignation.“You sure?” he inquired hopefully.“No,” I replied. “The logic of it looks just as bad to me as it does toyou. I just feel the only way for me right now is to face this directly.I can’t explain it adequately, even to myself … but … I really wantthis, Charles. Please.”That was the end of the discussion. The heat was gone from hisargument and the decision was made. I would not be botheredby doctors. A little later, he left with my assurances that, yes, Iwould take care of my own feeding in the unlikely event that I gothungry, and no, I would not object to a doctor tomorrow if I didnot have some improvement by then.After he left, my mind turned for a while, reviewing my fresh guiltover this manipulation of a good friend and my feelings aboutthis apparent suicide attempt of mine, which I liked even less.186

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKI had no particular objection to my life ending tonight, though.There was no list of incompletions making that awkward for me.Even the desire to repair or recreate my life had faded in me. Ihad no desire to repeat what I had already lived, or even to have asecond attempt to try to improve on it. I also had no urge to die.I had not been lying when I had told Charles that I expected,against all logic, to survive the coming night. Dying now wouldjust be far too convenient and far too appropriate.On account of my experiences in this life so far, I knew withconsiderable certainty that it was not going to be that easy.The rest of the day passed in silent meditation. Mostly, I stayedimmersed in the now familiar formlessness at the far/near edge/centre of consciousness. Occasionally I drifted up/down to theregion of thoughts, and reviewed the relics of loss, disappointmentand defeat that listlessly swirled around my mind. The old urgesto rescue, repair or revenge had been quiet for some months now.Time passed. I hardly noticed my body and its suffering untilevening came.I had made it through the last two nights by thumping my lungs,hanging over the side of the bed and clearing the drowningphlegm by main force. That, once every half hour or so, had keptme mostly conscious and minimally alive.This night, I had no more willingness for that fight.I let myself relax as deeply as I could. In spite of my relaxation,my lungs strained with effort as each breath yielded less and lesssatisfaction.My body went into panic. My diaphragm felt as if it was about totear as it pumped pitifully little air through lungs that bubbledand squeaked. Its efforts seemed to yield no oxygen at all.I watched and felt this happening, but I was not driving it. Mybody was doing this all by itself.187

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIt hurt. The panicky feeling of breath-hunger increased powerfully.The effort of trying to breathe was costing energy that I did nothave.I considered beating my lungs, and decided not to. There seemedto be no way I could manage it for long anyway.The breath-hunger intensified for a few breaths and then eased.My chest stopped heaving pointlessly and I relaxed deeply,stopping all fighting.I accepted, in totality and unreservedly, my entire life. I dropped,or felt dropping from me, every desire I had ever had to make mylife in any way different from how it was. I noticed my attachmentto places and spaces that I had glimpsed in my meditations. Sometears flowed as I felt, in fullness, all my feelings around my spiritualdesires going the way of the rest.The body lay still. No more straining for breath happened. Theblood pressure in my face and throat eased. I felt as if a calming,cooling hand stroked me, removing all tension and activity.I heard my blood flowing, rushing in my ears … and then therushing ceased and I marvelled at the silence.My vision swirled and went grey. I felt my consciousness fading.Do you want to fight for this? The question came, it seemed, fromone part of my being to another. I replied. “My consciousness? …No. That too can stop.”And it stopped.188

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKNotes on the enlightenedconditionI agree with …Many teachers: It is the goal of a quest, perhaps the only quest,that is truly worthy of a human incarnation and is to be soughtat any cost.J Krishnamurti: No teacher, teaching or lineage is of much use.Enlightenment is the natural state of a mind – sans culture andteachers.G Krishnamurti: There is no such thing as enlightenment as theword is generally understood. Anyone selling it is a huge fraud.Other Great Masters: It can only be described in the negative. NotGod, Not self, Not meditation, Not practice.The Taoists: It is not spoken of by those who know It and It is notknown by those who speak of It.The Bhodisattvas: The only noble motivation on completion ofthe path is the desire to help all other beings to awareness. Theonly worthwhile thing to do in the enlightened condition is tohelp others as best you can with the skill set you have.The Arhats: What happened is completely ordinary. I have no wayand no method to teach. Some arhats express the same sentimentwith more energy: Go get your own fucking insights.I also agree with the first Zen Patriarch: It is not a sin to kill anArhat.Enlightenment is The Pearl Beyond Price. To most, it looks likean ostentatious piece of obviously fake jewellery. Only MasterJewellers are qualified to appraise it. To them, it is priceless.189

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIt is not a matter of understanding, memory, mental capacity oreven wisdom.It is not a thought form that can be integrated with other thoughtforms to give completion to a world view. It is not a paradigm. Itis not a tangible thing, or an intangible thing.It cannot be acquired, traded or shared. It does not, in any usefulsense of the word, exist.Moments of great insight, deep perception and overwhelmingawe that occur in our life have a similar flavour, and can be said tobe glimpses of the enlightened condition.Enlightenment may be natural but it is nonetheless rare. Onecould take the view that it is an aberration. One could, so I will,temporarily at least:The enlightened claim that their actions, thoughts, sensations andevery other discernible characteristic of their being arise withoutcause. They claim that this is so for all beings. They say thatunenlightened beings are under the illusion that they are the doer,the source, or the active principle of their lives.Although this is clearly the biggest cop out and the most egregiousbuck-passing that a mind could come up with, the enlightened(contradictorily) claim total responsibility for – get this –Everything!When this contradiction is brought to their attention, they saythat they are that which arises, and that which it arises in. If askedto clarify that, they say it is the same for the breath in a body, thegrowth of a crystal and the movement of the tides.Although most religious visions are culturally sourced, or at least,influenced – a Catholic sees Mary, a Jain sees a Tirathankar and aBuddhist sees, well, Buddha – the enlightened show a remarkabledegree of similarity in their delusions. This similarity of authenticmystical expression across cultures is beautifully described inAldous Huxley’s excellent book The Perennial Philosophy.190

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe bodhisattva is characterised by compassion. Some claim thatthe urge to be compassionate just arose in them. Others insist thattheir compassion required deliberate cultivation.Their compassion, their leadership positions or some other factorof their condition leads them to suggest all sorts of things forpeople to do to improve the world or themselves. Between them,they have recommended a bewildering array of often contradictoryways and methods.Some of the big names have insisted on vegetarianism. Others,on clean and efficient butcheries. One attacked financial servicesproviders, another banned his disciples from getting involved withusury. Some taught non-violence while others founded schools ofmartial arts. Almost all of them suggest a withdrawal from normallife and an immersion in a spiritually styled one. As regards sex,chastity, celibacy, sexual continence and celebrating with wildabandon have variously been recommended and prohibited bythe enlightened.Arhats are perhaps easier to understand. Most of them do noteven have to be understood because they do nothing to bringattention to their condition. Many deliberately avoid the protodiscipleswhom they nonetheless attract.Some of them annoy bodhisattvas by messing with people’sminds. Presumably, this is on account of the spontaneous arisingof a desire in arhats to amuse themselves.In mature spiritual cultures, where the condition is not such abig deal, it is recognised that there are still things to learn afterall seeking has ceased. The conventional wisdom is that it takesaround ten years to get used to it, and to discern what one’sapproach to teaching and helping others should be.191

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLDawnWaking up happened, in a body which felt no trace of sickness.The breath was smooth, even and unrestricted. Aliveness dancedthrough blood vessels, spreading its excitement to delightedmuscles and organs. The soft warm feeling of fresh cottonpermeated the skin. The soft sound of the body’s breathingblended with the muted distant chaos of a farm waking. The crispscent of ripening clementines complemented the sugary sweetnessof the sun-warmed thatch.The mind generated a thought: Satori. And soon thereafter,another thought. Almost.Between these thoughts, lightning threaded through the brain,comparing and referencing all previous experiences with a tightdegree of relationship to satori.First consciously noticed, but not at all understood whenattempting Zsa-Zen for the first time at age 14. Next, at 17, in abrawl. Another at 20, with a scary-powerful lover. A few over thenext ten years, most seeming to be evoked or enabled by fevers,sexual intensity and moments of extreme emotion.Over the last ten years, they had become frequent in silentstanding or sitting meditations. In the last year, they had becomevery numerous indeed. Often several in a day.Satori: moments of deep insight. Direct perception of somegenerally occluded aspect of truth. A flash of lightning withinconsciousness, briefly revealing a view on the all.Briefly. This satori was not being brief. That was one point ofdifference. Another point of difference was that thoughts werehappening. In satori, thoughts never happened. That is, afterall, the defining characteristic of satori – no thoughts happen inthem.192

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKYet, here was satori and these were definitely thoughts which werehappening …Or was this really satori? All previous ones had been a glimpsefrom what seemed now to be a very limited perspective. Each hadbeen true but partial. This satori was a clear perception, a flowingof knowing that encompassed and superseded all previousexperiences in this category or … or in any other, for that matter.Extended satori. The brain created a new category and linked it tosatori. It then leaped into activity, probing the second-hand datadump of things read and heard for anything that seemed to fit.There was a little data. Nothing definitive. There were a fewspiritual teachers who had announced their enlightenment andtaught for a few years before their high ended. Usually they wentback to being students. Maybe this was something like that.The brain’s processing of information was happening, apparently,all by itself. Just the same as the breath happening in the body. Itsactivity arose from the same source as the rushing of the blood,the pulsing of the organs and the peristalsis of the guts.Eyes opened, legs swung to the floor. Walking to the bathroom fora crap happened.A while later, Charles took the short walk from his house aroundthe pool to his guest cottage. He carried two large glasses of carrotjuice. Sun filtered through the vines which shaded a large woodentable.Wearing shorts, the body sat on the huge outdoor table, feet onthe long bench. There was delight in the skin as the cool kiss ofthe breeze contrasted the spots of hot sunlight which streamedthrough the overhanging vine.This satori was definitely extended. The brain assessed thatsomething pretty serious seemed to have happened. Perhaps itwas stuck. In satori, there is no I as well as no thought. In thisstrange extended satori there were thoughts, but there was no I inthe way there had been, yesterday, for instance.193

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThat I had just been the brain, thinking that it was doing whatwas happening. If anything could be said to be I now, it was thisdancing energy of liveliness that rushed through this body.Existence was, as always, just happening, and the magic of satoriwas the noticing of it. To call the object of satori me would be ahuge lie in one sense, and also, ultimately, it was, it now seemed,inescapably, the truth.As Charles approached, it became clear that the fiction of an Iexpressed was useful and perhaps even necessary. I looked for andfound the set of constraints that was my last remembered persona.I examined it and compared it to possible alternatives.I made some modifications which should keep the body – me –out of mental institutions, at least for a while. Then I got behindthe mask (which is what a personality is) and tried it on.I looked out and was surprised to find that, clearly, here was I – me,as surely as in any dream. The illusion of individuated presenceproduced by self-maintained constraints was unmistakable.I expected that the satori was now over, except … except it wasclearly not over. No reduction in the power, the presence of that.The flow/field/flux of that which is truly beyond names was asbefore. Just some of it had shaped itself into a mask, taking onthe constraints of a mental structure, being my personality. Beingme.Charles sauntered into earshot and tried his voice out. “Good tosee you are alive and up, if not dressed. Have some carrot juice.”I took the cup he offered. I smelled the creamy freshness of thehead of minced carrot and bubbles, popped by the sun, conveyinga delicately sweet fragrance.“Just drink up the poison. This is not a wine tasting.” Charlesencouraged. He did not like carrot juice. That he was drinking ittoday meant he was starting his annual carrot juice fast.I inhaled the subtle aromas theatrically, took a mouthful, circulatedit and drank it down. My eyes closed as I followed the flavours and194

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKtextures of its love affair with my throat. I looked at him over theglass and declaimed:“Fine clays and uncovered bedrock giving grace and gravitas to thebass notes, lifted by mid-tones of a generally sunny disposition.Full-grown, giving a strong basic sweetness. Very direct tanninsand acids. A delicate citrus top note imparts a disarming sense offrivolity, but …” I peeked, to check if he was drawn into my act.He was.“… but enough about me.”End of The Rocky Horror Tantra Book.195

Swami’s notesSuggestions and techniquesI’ve tasted blood and I want more.

Note 1Tantric sex basics

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLLoving yourselfThis is essential. Make love to yourself with some intent,some sincerity. Aim to please, or to discover somethingnew about yourself. Love your own body and let it knowyou mean it.Logically speaking, you should know your body and itserotic responses better than anyone. Your greatest heightsof intensity and your greatest depths of immersion insensuality should be available to you first.When you have developed some worthwhile presence inyour body, and can maintain a semblance of sanity instates of extreme arousal, you have something worthsharing, if you then care to do that.Teach your hands to develop a sensitivity to your ownbody’s feedback. Feel the qualities of your own touch andexplore variations of pace, pressure and so on. As yoursenses develop, explore more subtle energies of touch– masculine and feminine, giving and taking, controllingand yielding.Find areas of your body that have a heightened sensitivityor a numbness. Gently coax them to accept sensation orto feel it, as needed.Learn about your body’s responses. Pay attention to yourchanging heart rate, pace and sound of your breath,your sensitivity to touch and your degrees and flavoursof arousal.Explore states of high intensity, opening to the intensitywhile staying conscious as far as you can.Love your body as it truly wants to be loved. Let it feelyour passion, your intensity and your delight.200

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKQ: What is the height of egotism?A: Masturbating in front of a mirror, and shouting outyour own name as you come.… like that.201

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLPC muscles and breathworkKegel exercises focus on this muscle group. The PC(pubococcygeal) muscle group extends from the anal ringforward to the genitalia. When you first try exercising them,the various muscles in the group are indistinguishable.Most people only know them as the muscles that canprevent or interrupt urination. With practice, they can bedistinguished, and can be contracted sequentially, backto front, and the reverse.The PC muscles do not include the buttocks. Avoidtension in the gluteus maximus. In the wise words of Sw.Rasada, the most important thing to remember in tantricsex is to relax your bum.As you contract these muscles, breathe in. Hold the breathand the muscle tension for a few seconds to a minuteor so. Release the breath and PC tension suddenly andsimultaneously. Follow and enjoy the burst of sensation(sexual energy) that moves upward through your bodyfrom the root chakra.While making love, play with pulsing this muscle group.If the partner does the same, a conversation, an interplaycan develop between the genitalia.A suggestion for men to delay ejaculation and to giveyourself more time to experience higher energies:Contract your PC muscles on the inhalation while movingdeeper into her (slow and steady). Hold the breath in(and the PC muscles tight) for a while. Then release thePC tension and breath simultaneously while relaxingand moving out (not completely out) of her. Let theenergy which then flows wash over you, deepening yourrelaxation and sensation.202

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe PC muscles can be exercised (contracted, thenrelaxed) at any time. Arousal is of course nice but notessential.203

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLTantric greetingPre-arrange who greets the other first.Kneel opposite each other, knees almost, or slightlytouching, your hands resting on your thighs.Take a minute or so to just look at the beloved. Do not getlocked into eye-gazing. Notice the eyes just as anotherpart of the face and body.Be aware of your breath, and gather energy at your rootchakra. Contracting your PC muscles helps.Whoever is doing the greeting first: Cup your hands inyour lap, then, as if lifting water, rise up slowly and movethe hands up over the partner’s head.Gently, as if pouring water, touch the partner’s headlightly, and let your hands gently flow over the shouldersand down the sides of the beloved’s arms to theirhands.Repeat seven times, then sit still. Now it is the partner’sturn.204

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKNaked gazingSit naked and silent opposite each other, about a bodylength apart.It is good to have an agreed time period. Not less thanhalf an hour. More than two hours is certainly possible,but is only recommended for obsessive-compulsive overachievers.Notice the eyes just as part of the face and body. Donot avoid, but do not emphasise eye contact. After a fewseconds of eye contact let your eyes move on over thebeloved’s body.This practice can evoke a range of feeling and emotion.Keep your eyes open through it all, and keep yourawareness on this beloved person exactly as they are,here and now.The truth, the fact of this person’s presence, shared withyou in the vulnerability and intimacy of nakedness iswhat you will come to appreciate. If a fantasy comes upthough, do not avoid it.Keep your eyes open and looking at the beloved’s body.If there is heat, a horniness, do not bother about whetherit is from fantasy or the real. Take it as real. It is after all,real in your body, whatever the source of it.What to do with arousal? … Enjoy and celebrate! Allowyourself to feel your arousal in the presence and the viewof the beloved. Allow it to express in the sound of yourbreath.Sit still, but not rigidly. Sometimes stillness moves.Sometimes it even dances a little.205

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIn your stillness, gazing at the beloved, there is one musclegroup you can move and enjoy without restriction, yourPC muscles. An erect male exercising his PC musclescan appear quite comical. Laugh as much as necessary …laugh as much as you enjoy. Do not talk, though. Silencecan include laughter and tears but not conversation orcommentary.Enjoy and engage in the interplay of your bodies. Even ata distance, without touch, there are energies, exchangesand intensities to be enjoyed and explored.Strong pulsation of your PC muscles can result inorgasm and/or ejaculation. Orgasm can also happenquite spontaneously just in the gazing, with no attentiondirected specifically at the root chakra.Other strong feelings and emotions are likely to comeand go. Never using words in the exercise, these feelingsmay find expression in the sound of your breath andsubtle movements or changes in your body’s appearanceand facial expression. Just let this happen, and trust thatyour appearance will be whatever the beloved needs tosee, just as the beloved is available to your gaze.All thought and all imagining is allowed. Do not stop tojudge or review any part of your experience during thetimeframe of the exercise. Stay with the current moment,open your eyes, and look.Sometimes no arousal happens for a while, or at all.Sometimes feelings of dislike, even revulsion arise. Mostlikely, several strong experiences come and go over thecourse of an hour or so.Whatever happens, whatever you feel, remember that thediscipline of this practice is to stay present, sitting andsilent.Feel deeply into all that arises. Explore your trueresponses to the intimacy, exposure and vulnerability.206

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKExplore them no matter how they look to you in terms ofreasonableness or even in terms of acceptability.After the meditation, try not to do a post-mortem ofthe experience with the beloved partner. Try not to getdistracted in conversation either. Take some time byyourself, preferably in silence, after the meditation. Whatyou feel, discover and reveal through this practice is foryou alone. Your awareness will be shared with otherswhen it is expressed in your living.In general, as a guideline, when you do a naked gazingmeditation, make it the only practice of that evening. Ifyou both really want to make love later, make it two ormore hours later.207

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLYoni and lingam gazingOne partner sits back into some cushions, legs spreadapart. The other kneels between the outstretched legs,not touching.The kneeling partner looks at the genital area of thebeloved’s body.The reclining partner closes their eyes or wears ablindfold.Instruction for the gazer: Let your attention andawareness be confined and directed only at the genitalsof the beloved. Go deeply into the feelings evoked inthe meditation. Explore what your true responses andresistances are.Instruction for the gazed upon: Feel your exposure andthe gaze of the beloved. Allow your body to relax anddrop any attempt to control your appearance. Notice andallow whatever the body feels, which can vary from fearand shivering to intense arousal.This exercise should be practised for half an hour toan hour. After the meditation, it is good to take sometime alone to reflect on and integrate what you havediscovered.208

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKShared self-lovingTaking turns of around half an hour each way, onepartner lies, sits or kneels in whatever position(s) theyfind comfortable while making love to their own body.The other sits or kneels close by and observes.When showing your body and its responses: Shareyour self-loving with your partner. No words. Show bydemonstrating your touch on your body. Express thefeelings in your body by letting them move your bodyand through the sound of your breath.Do not hold back! Use your knowledge of your bodyand its responses to show the beloved your sexualpossibilities and how to work with them.Accept and move through any inhibitory feelings, viewsor judgements you may have about what you are doing.Try to be as uncensored as possible when touchingyourself. Touch as your body wants to be touched, withno regard for how that may look.It may be more comfortable to use a blindfold. In anycase, do not be distracted by your observer. You maylaugh, your tears may flow. However your observer feelsabout anything they see is for their learning. How youfeel, be it delight or difficulty, is your learning.When being the observer in this meditation: Do not speakor comment. Look, learn and move through whateverfeelings arise in you. Notice the qualities of touch thebeloved uses. Notice the movement of energy, the flowof arousal and the signs of high intensity and deepemotion.Notice the range of styles of touch the beloved uses, therange of emotion they move through and the variance indepth, pace and intensity of breath.209

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLOpen your perception to what is happening in front ofyou. Notice the range of your responses to what you see.Notice what emotions and feelings move through you,and those which feel obstructed in you.This practice is particularly useful as preparation for theYab Yum and for Sky Dancing.It is also recommended as preparation for yoni or lingamworship.A variation for lovers or meditation partners who are wellpractisedand comfortable in this meditation: Tell yourpartner verbally how to touch you, instead of touchingyourself.210

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKFollowing fantasiesGo deeply into your fantasies. Give yourself permissionto know your fantasies completely. To know them is notto indulge them. Knowing your fantasies makes themconscious. It is when things are subconscious (andtherefore not known) that they are troublesome.Layers of fantasy can be dispelled. The spell they haveon you can be removed. To do this, choose a current orfavourite fantasy with which to work.Do what you can with your setting. Anything from yourclothing to the lighting may help. With some fantasies,just a piece of music or a particular type of incense isall that is required. The idea is that you make it as easyas possible to immerse yourself as deeply as possible inyour imagination, augmented by props, the setting andperhaps a helper.Pay particular attention as you approach and passthrough orgasm. Particularly, look out for any significantchange in the events of your fantasy or a particularintensification of focus.When you find the shift, even if it looks a little extremeor scary, be willing to know it. The next time you workwith that fantasy, try to get to and through the change orintensification before orgasm, thus tracking the fantasymore deeply.When completely explored, a fantasy will reveal a truth.This can happen surprisingly quickly.A lot of this work can be done by yourself, in self-loving.Some things work better with a lover.Do remember that these layers of eroticism are quiteliterally all in the mind. There is seldom a need to enact a211

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLfantasy precisely. Usually things just need to be dressedup a little, and belief suspended, as when watching amovie that almost makes you forget it is a movie.212

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKYoni and lingam worshipOne partner, the worshipped, takes an attitude oftemporarily lending their body to the beloved for anarranged time period (half an hour to an hour). Theworshipped partner gets comfortable on some cushionsand the exercise starts with a few minutes of yoni/lingamgazing.The worshipper then touches the beloved’s body, in adirection mainly from the back of the knees to the throatvia the genitals and nipples. The attention, energy andfocus of the touch should be brought increasingly to thegenitals.Instruction for the worshipper/borrower: Get close to thelingam or yoni of the beloved. Let your touch make youopen and vulnerable to how you truly feel about whatthis part of the body is for you.This can involve facing feelings of anger and resentment.It is important to allow yourself the full intensity ofwhatever you feel. It is good to allow your touch toexpress what you feel, even if it involves the tension ofanger or the clutching of craving.Do not damage or hurt the body you are borrowing.If you speak, curse and so on, address yourself to thelingam or yoni and not to the person whose body youare borrowing.Instruction for the worshipped/lender: Respect yourown safety. Even though you are lending your body,you presumably want it back after this in an undamagedcondition. Do not desert your body by going numband unfeeling. Your meditation is to feel, acutely andcompletely, the touch of the beloved, following andexploring whatever it stirs up in your body and mind.213

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIf the beloved does something painful (and not in a goodway) tell them efficiently and directly to stop and lubricate,take a break or do whatever you feel is necessary.This is not a beginner’s exercise. It requires greatsensitivity. If it feels edgy and risky to you, rather dogazing and shared self-loving for a few sessions first.214

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKYab YumThis most famous of tantric meditations is extensivelyimmortalised in sculpture and art.The male sits in a lotus or half lotus position, or hisnearest approximation of it. The woman sits in his lap,facing him, her legs wrapping around his waist.She arranges penetration and draws herself onto thelingam in a comfortable self-regulating way.It is good to co-ordinate your breathing at first into analternating breath, one breathing in as the other breathesout. It is good to breathe near the other’s ear, and allowexcitements, tensions and pleasurable sensations to beconveyed by the sound of the breath.On the inhalation, optionally tension the PC (genital andanal) muscles, relaxing them on the exhalation. This canbe done with great or minimal tension. Vary your rhythmand play with different counts of PC contractions perbreath or per heartbeat. Experiment.A cycle of energy naturally develops, from his lingam toher yoni, up through her body to her heart, from herheart to his, and down through his body to the lingam.This energy can be guided and manipulated through thebreath. The direction of the cycle can even be reversed.Experiment.After a while, you are each in your own breathing rhythms.Keep letting the breath produce sound, expressing yourfeelings and sensations. Follow the inclinations of yourbody as regards tension and relaxation.If the male wants to prevent ejaculation and has not yetdeveloped steadiness through breath and PC-musclework, he can cheat. This does not do much for him and215

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLmay be damaging to his prostate if overdone, but it canbe very good for the woman. He cheats by placing hisheel under his perineum. It compresses the urethra andthe lingam’s blood vessels. This maintains erection whilepreventing ejaculation.The Yab Yum is a useful practice to help developsteadiness and attention to sensation. This is in partbecause it is good for depth but not for thrusting.At a deeper level, it is an extremely intimate and lovingpractice, enhancing the interplay of masculine andfeminine energies.At its deepest level, this practice connects each participantwith their own inner masculine and feminine aspects andfacilitates their inner lovemaking.Experienced tantrikas use the Yab Yum for a while,cycling energy between them. After some time, each ismoving their own energy strongly. The energy no longerfollows a cyclical pattern between them. They are theneach a source, complete unto themselves.When this energy shift occurs, they can move intoSkydancing.216

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSkydancingFrom the Yab Yum position, the man straightens his legsand lies back.Simultaneously, the woman uncrosses her legs frombehind his back, and moves them to a kneeling positioneach side of the man. She leans forward if the penetrationfeels uncomfortably intense.As in the Yab Yum, intensity can be enhanced and energycan be moved by tensioning and releasing the PC musclescoordinated with deep, full inhalation and exhalation.As the deeper penetration feels comfortable, the womanstraightens up. When this is comfortable, she movesher legs, one at a time, into a squatting position, againleaning forward at first, until she is comfortable with thedegree of penetration.She straddles the man in a squat when she is comfortablefully upright. Her meditation is to allow the energy ofthe penetration to move upward and through her body.She is likely to cover a range of movements from subtleto intense, dancing this energy as it is experienced.Her meditation is to open as much as possible to thepenetration and her experience of it. She dances withthis energy, letting it carry her as far and as powerfullyas it can.The male’s meditation is to gather all his energy, all hisfocus, to his lingam. He should let it become the centreof his awareness and presence. All thoughts, feelings,sensations are centred in one hot point of focus.As with the Yab Yum, the male and female sexual energiescan be adjusted, manipulated and even reversed. Themale can move into explosive expansiveness, and thewoman into one-pointed focus.217

Note 2Preparation of the body and mind for Tantra

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLAn eastern approach topersonal hygieneHistorically, traditionally, an Englishman’s house has animmaculately kept pavement, a recently painted gate anda polished brass doorknob. The entrance hall is almostas clean, almost as presentable. The kitchen, a little lessso. The bedroom, less so still. The bed sheets may nothave been changed for a week or more. One wonderswhen the fellow last bathed.An Indian’s home has a filthy street in front of it, filledwith heaps of uncollected rubbish. The exterior of thebuilding he lives in has an unpainted concrete finish.Steel rods from the concrete reinforcement stick out atugly angles. The lift has obviously never been cleanednor have the stairwells ever been swept. Just outsidethe door of his apartment is a pile of dirt, swept frominside his apartment. Shoes and the dirt they carry areleft outside. Once inside, however, everything is clean.The further in one goes, the cleaner it gets. The kitchengleams. The bed is covered in fresh clean cotton. Theoccupant’s body is immaculately clean.Naturally, in Tantra, if it has to be a choice, we prefer theoriental approach.Various schools of Tantra have come up with extremeapproaches to cleanliness. Some of these practices areoccasionally useful, most of them are harmless, someare a little silly, others are dangerous and a few involvemutilation.Clearing your sinuses by pouring salt water throughthem is fine, and perhaps necessary if you live far fromthe sea and seldom get tumbled by a wave. Snortingand sucking strings from your mouth through to your220

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKnostrils, or from nostril to nostril may be of use in casesof extreme congestion, but it can introduce infection tonormally well-protected areas of the body.Creating a prolapse of the anus, so you can turn yourselfinside out and get REALLY clean every morning is, at leastfor most of us, probably not a good idea at all.221

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLMovement, dance and fitnessGymnastics, martial arts, long-distance running,mountain climbing, yoga and most dance forms supporta basic level of health and fitness. Find what suits you,and do it. Twice a week or so.If yoga is your choice, please exercise caution with onecategory of asana (pose), the upside-down ones.Be aware of the pressure in your head, and do not let itget very high. Do not do these asanas for long periods(more than a minute). It is true that these asanas canspeed up transcendence, but at a cost.Slightly weakening the mind by doing a small amountof damage to the brain does make transcendence of themind easier. It does make enlightenment more likely,sooner.The downside is that after enlightenment, you willnonetheless have to use your body and mind tocommunicate with people. You will then be stuck witha sub-optimal brain, although, of course, there will notreally be a you to be upset about it.222

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK10 days of brown riceTo reset the taste buds and digestive system try a tendaybrown rice fast. After ten days, gradually, in selfregulation,introduce other foods. Eat mostly rice and tryto keep all changes to your diet gradual.Pay attention to your digestive system as you re-introduceother foods after the fast. It may need to encountersomething in small quantities a few times to get used toit. It may not want to get used to some things at all. Beguided by your sense of taste which should by now be farmore helpful as a guide to truly good eating.Cook the rice with salt and a teaspoon of cold-pressedolive oil. For a little variety during the rice fast, shortgrain,long-grain and Basmati varieties of brown rice arewidely available.223

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLScents, perfumes, cosmeticsGenerally, these are a bad idea.When the body is sick or fearful, it smells repellent, andso it should. Covering up with chemistry is not a solution.Sickness should be healed, fear should be faced.The body has a refined and elegant scent-basedcommunication system which should not be interferedwith if at all possible. Be clean, but not antiseptic.Try not to get a nose job. According to Lyall Watson,this common mutilation usually destroys the detector(Jacobson’s organ) for pheromone signalling.If you really need an antiperspirant during the day, try atiny dab of cedarwood oil in the armpits.If a man wishes to enhance and complement his naturalmusks, a little patchouli or sandalwood (West Indian orMysore) oil can be good. Very little!Women’s musks are better complemented by florals suchas ylang ylang, rose, jasmine and orange blossom. Notevery floral suits every woman. Use pure essential oilsonly. Synthetics, fixatives and emulsifiers are often nastyto skin and most of them taste terrible.When buying essential oils, check the brand. Smell theirneroli (orange blossom) and compare it to a petitgrain(orange leaves). Any trace at all, any hint, of petitgrain intheir neroli indicates a brand unconcerned with quality.Before using them, test their purity by evaporating them.They should leave absolutely no residue at all.If you really need a moisturiser, wet the skin well and,while it is still damp, lightly coat it with a single drop of224

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKolive oil, or any cold-pressed vegetable oil that your skinlikes. Dab off with a tissue to kill the gloss if that is acosmetic issue. This method of moisturising holds moremoisture in the skin more effectively than commercialproducts, with far less disturbance of the skin’s naturalfunctioning.If you do not like (love) your own body scent, adjust yourdiet. If your scent tends to be, for example, permanentlysour, reduce your intake of milk and increase yogurt.Onions, garlic, asparagus, meats and fish oils all affectbody scent dramatically. Fresh sushi is fine, but old oils,as in dietary supplements, come through strongly.We have a very effective disease detection and preventionsystem. It is based largely on the senses of smell andtaste. Minimising interference with the senses of yourlovers is a politeness.225

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLMind trainingTantrikas require a certain degree of cynicism. They needto be immune to the Emperor’s New Clothes syndrome.They need to look and see beyond the zone of that whicheveryone knows. They need a precise and well-calibratedbullshit detector.Various practices and disciplines help. They include, butare not at all limited to: A serious study of philosophy.Learning other languages. Playing Go (Japanese boardgame). Programming computers. A few years of Jungian,Freudian or even Dr Phil-style therapy. EST-style LargeGroup Awareness Trainings (LGATs). A study of theKabbalah and the early Hasidic Masters. Aikido and otherevolved martial arts.All of these and many more can lead you to approach themystery of life with awareness and openness. They canlead you to pay more attention to what is, and insist lesson what you think should be.The first steps of mind training bring a seeker to thepoint of deeply questioning data that has been absorbedfrom parents, culture, peers and other sources of secondhandlearning.The initial satori that mind training provides may seemto be the end of the quest. More truly, they are a greatstart. They are transformative. They can transform youinto a seeker. They are initiatory.The lessons of mind training can be started in a weekendworkshop. For the seed to bear fruit, nurturing is helpful.Once you have made a start, do continue the work. Findthe depths of it. Some regular technique for processing,reviewing and exploring your mind’s reactiveness is226

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKuseful, and probably worth working on for at least acouple of years.More advanced work requires the bravery to regard yourmind’s automatic and reactive routines as the enemy.You need to have a fight, a good wrestle with your mind.Do not expect to come through unscathed. Wrestlingmakes bruises. This fight can involve mood swings, evenperhaps an existential crisis or two.Very advanced work involves taking an attitudesomewhere between training your mind, and learning towork around its resistance.This can include: Exploring the extent to which youcreate your experience. Experimenting with getting whatyou want vs. wanting what you get. Disassembling, indetail, some of your mind’s standard routines. Exploringyour self-limiting decisions and attitudes. Inquiring intowhat you really know of truth, love and being.Seekers who have worked with their mind training to thepoint at which nothing new is being revealed may beready for what is known as the secret teachings. Althoughthese teachings are mostly not that secret anymore,they are often misunderstood and misapplied. Personalguidance in this area is more or less essential.Traditionally, only after extensive mind training did aseeker get introduced to higher philosophies – Advaitaand all that. These days, thanks to R. Bach, W. Erhard, K.Gibran, E. Tolle and others, most of the data involved inhigher philosophy is out there. Ironically, for many modernseekers, these teachings are the first they encounter, notthe last. Kind of backwards, but workable.These authors use the higher understandings as aninducement, an encouragement, a lure to the path. Dorevisit their teachings from time to time. The truths they227

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLexpress will come more and more into focus as your pathprogresses.Chanting mantras is not mind training, and is notvery good for the mind. Certain chants and repetitivevisualisations numb or temporarily silence some aspectsof the mind. This can be useful to get a sense of themind’s functioning. Like working out how a machineworks by making things go wrong with it. As with theuse of drugs for the same purpose, one can learn a lot inthe short term. Although drugs, yantras and mantras canprovide a glimpse, an inducement, they do not help youto approach truth as such.The most generally useful approach to investigating yourown mind’s processes is to live differently. Masturbate,for a week, with the other hand. For a day, greet everyoneyou meet. Put an In Silence badge on yourself duringbreaks at work. Laugh as much as you can get away with,every opportunity you get, for a day. Cry for an houror so in private every day for a week, not because youhave so much to cry about (though we all do) but as adiscipline … Have fun with it and avoid stupidity. Drivingon the other side of the road, for example, involves morethan you watching your mind’s reaction to somethingunusual.228

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKBrainwashingMany varieties of mind training, especially the LGATs,come under criticism from anti-cult organisations.Some are accused from time to time of brainwashing.Brainwashing is not a bad thing. Most minds could dowith a good scrubbing. These weekend group thingsoften have good technique, and some are very elegant intheir setup and delivery of insights. Perhaps the greatestcontribution they make to seekers is the discipline,common to most of them, of developing interiorhonesty.The best thing about them is their speed and efficiency.The worst thing about them is their evangelism andbusiness-like eagerness to train everyone, seeker ornot. Or maybe the worst is that they sometimes presentthe transformation they induce as being enlightenmentitself.Dr Phil, the coaching phenomenon, teambuildingworkshops, sales and motivational programmes andeven some pyramid-marketing scams use the methodsand philosophy of Werner Erhard’s (arguably) originalbrain cleansing seminars.The cultural penetration of the LGAT teachings is verydeep, even pervasive. In the entertainment zone, somany movie executives took the training that WarnerBrothers was known by some as Werner Brothers. Partlythanks to films produced during those years, the corelessons and understandings of this work are no longereven considered strange.Should you take one of these trainings/seminars?Maybe. We do recommend them to students who seemshort of mind training – with a couple of reservations:229

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLBear in mind that they were originally designed for the1970s mindset. A mind of the current culture doesnot require the intense confrontation and emotionalhammering that a 70s mind did. Some LGATs haveupdated their approach, one even cutting the first twodays of their original five-day training. This helps. So doesupdating the John Denver and Neil Diamond music.The other reservation I have concerns their evangelism.Do not get over-extended in your willingness to help theorganisation, unless, of course, you are a compulsiveover-achiever and need lessons about over-extension.230

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKProcessing techniquesSome seekers gather and use a huge range of processingtechniques. Some find just one or two are all they need.Most anything that erases the sub in subconscious is agood idea. The following two methods are generally themost useful that we know.231

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLVerificationConsider an event you find psychologically troublesome.Write down, in short direct statements, what your mindhas to say about the event, the consequences, the causes,the blame, the implications … be thorough. Give yourmind a good honest opportunity to make its case.When you feel you have expressed the bulk of it, or whenyou run out of paper, stop.Take a few minutes to settle yourself. Maybe makeyourself a cup of tea.Go through what you have written, making onedispassionate assessment of each statement. What youassess is:Is this statement true? With certainty.Is it false? Just clearly not true.Is it unknown? Do I simply not know?If the statement is anything other than true, definitelytrue … put a line through it. Be ruthless and honest. Ifyou do not know a thing, you do not know it. It has nouseful place in your thinking. Information is even lessvaluable when it is clearly not true.This stage can be difficult to get right without theguidance of someone experienced in this technique. Beas sincerely in favour of getting to the truth as you canmanage. Do not get into probabilities and percentages.The mind deals in absolutes. If you managed to writeout something of your mind’s contents, reasonablyuncensored, this fact will be obvious.232

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKIt is of course pointless to bother with fine distinctionsbetween something being false or unknown. Either way,it is sub-standard information. Put a line through it.The final step is to go carefully through what remains.Create a statement, for yourself, of the truth.It can seem a little artificial, this ruthless division intoTrue, False and Unknown. We know life exhibits greyareas, probabilities, tendencies and so on. The mind,however, does not know this, particularly in areas thathave been unconscious. The mind does not say, forexample, that if you do not have a lover at present youmight occasionally feel a bit lonely. The mind is far morelikely to insist that you are now condemned to dyingalone and unloved.233

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLSquaresTaught by Leslie Temple-Thurston, detailed in her bookThe Marriage of Spirit, Chapter 11.Consider a desire, want or craving in your life. Someexamples: To be in control, to be guided, to live moretotally, to avoid trouble, to know truth deeply, to committo a relationship, to disengage from or change theparameters of a relationship, to gain wealth, to haveparticular experiences, to be more liked.Take a sheet of paper, and bisect it horizontally andvertically, dividing it into quarters.Headline the top left with the desire and expand on it.The example used is kindly provided by my daughter.Desire for a relationship:Someone to talk to and depend on.More jolling (local slang for partying).Regular sex.Someone to make me laugh.Someone to hold me when I am sad.Someone to distract me from thoughts of someone else(that I’m basically still in love with).Someone I can be myself around.Someone for me to support.234

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe next quarter, in the top right, gets headlined withthe fear of what is desired.Fear of relationship:Breaking someone else’s heart.Just using him as a distraction.Feeling I am not worthy.Not getting to live freely.Being dishonest.Discovering that he has been dishonest with me.Being dumped.Dumping him.Getting tied down.Move on to the bottom left, which is headlined with thedesire for the opposite.Desire to be single:Free to fool around and flirt.No jealous partner.I would not be judged as harshly if I did somethingquestionable.Time to myself.No need to consider someone else in my decisions.More time to myself.235

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe last quadrant, bottom right, is logically enoughheadlined with the fear of the opposite.I die alone.No one to look out for me.No regular sex partner.Minimal jolling.Fear of being single:Not having anyone to rely on.Being viewed as an outcast.No one to cheer me up when I am down.Becoming a spinster and only having cats to talk to.Cold, lonely bed for the rest of my life.When you have completed each quadrant, look aroundall four to see if anything is missing.Then, take a few minutes to allow your eyes to look overwhat you have expressed. All of it.Allow all four quadrants, together, into your awareness.Consider that whatever you strive for here, whateveryour outcome looks like, you will have feelings in eachquadrant, all the way along.Give up. If you have any notion of the Divine, a God orGoddess, or just the mystery of existence as it is, delegatethe issue to the Divine. Be available and responsive towhat happens in your life, be open to what existence236

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKpresents you with, but do not make, in this case, gettinga boyfriend, your objective, or your measure of success.Leslie Temple-Thurston says, “Make all the squaresconscious, then give it all over to Spirit.”Naturally, this is a private and personal exercise. Thereis generally nothing helpful in a father getting to lookat his daughter’s processing work, as has inadvertentlyhappened here. It exposes the poor father to too muchinformation.Both Squares and Verification are of great use in mindtraining. Both are worth deep exploration, probably acouple of times a week for a couple of years. It is likelythat you will find them useful every now and then formany years after their main work is done.237

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLExternal honesty and keepingyour agreementsThis particular aspect of honesty, making a discipline ofdoing what you say you will, is hugely revealing of yourmind’s workings. Do not be a fascist with yourself. If/when you break an agreement, just recommit to it andcarry on. If you wish to change an agreement, change it.If all goes well, you will discover or become moreaware of your self-deception. Making agreements withyourself that are not going to be kept. Keeping the moreinteresting version of your history alive in preference toremembering what really was. That kind of thing.To discover one’s own inner deception and sabotage canbe shocking, but it is far better known than not known.Let yourself off whatever hooks you find yourself on.Self-recrimination is not justified.The awareness you have found is not usual. Few everdiscover this part of the human condition. Most live anunconscious lie. Congratulations are in order. You arenow in a position to work on the centre of true honesty,your honesty with yourself.A particularly deep and pervasive form of lie is welldescribed in Harriet Lerner’s book The Dance of Deceptionwhich focuses on a primarily (but not at all exclusively)female approach to untruthfulness: Taking on a role, orputting on an appearance as if. These generalised coveruplies can be more difficult to become aware of but arewell worth exploring.238

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKPractising strategyThis form of mind training seems counter-intuitive.The lessons of strategy derive mostly from conflict.Appropriate for a warrior, perhaps, but of no obvioususe to a seeker, surely?Not so. The phrase, the title Spiritual Warrior is noaccident. A significant reason for learning about strategyis to be able to divine your own mind’s strategies. This isnecessary if you are to give your mind a good fight.Many start the study of strategy with the intention ofgaining power. The awareness gained in this pursuit can,paradoxically, bring peace and acceptance.Strategy teaching requires practical application. Forsome this means training in a martial art, playing Go,or trading derivatives. For most, it means learning byapplying the teachings of strategy to personal, businessand career issues.Learning strategy has a similar effect to that of practisingexterior honesty. It makes you more and more aware ofyour own mind’s strategies.239

Note 3Beyond premature ejaculation

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLEjaculation issuesA Dakini of this school once suggested a Tantra T-shirtslogan: Ejaculation is premature. She did soften inattitude, later on, and asked me to stop attributing thissaying to her. The attribution has ceased, but the sayinggoes on …It is unfair and politically incorrect to make sweepinggeneralisations about gender characteristics, so heregoes:Boys learn to masturbate from other boys, unless thepriests or teachers get to them first. They know, beingboys, that quickest is best. Some of them get competitivewith this, until it becomes too gay for them.Heavy rapid jerking on the penis, combined with tensebuttocks, squishes the prostate gland and produces afast, reliable, forced ejaculation.Because self-love is a forbidden activity, it is generallyfast and furtive. Speed is important when discoverywould be a problem.Because a man’s first sexual experiences with womenare likely to be illicit, immoral or illegal by the culture’sreckoning, speed is required and high adrenaline is aninevitable accompaniment. By this time in a man’s life,speed and roughness are already deeply establishedhabits.Because women’s first sexual experiences, particularlywith young men, are rough and fast, their bodies andminds respond as if raped.Organically, a woman raped becomes submissive, as amore or less instinctual survival strategy.242

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe usual explanation her mind will provide for this stateof affairs is that, somehow, even though there was nopleasure in it, she is in love, or at any rate, has a strongneeding of this man.Another part of the body’s response to rape is to tightenthe vaginal muscles. Some women do this so well thatpenetration becomes impossible. Many do it enough tocause themselves considerable pain.The organic/instinctive survival strategy of the woman’sbody is effective. It pressures the penis back into themale’s prostate gland, inducing ejaculation. This iswhy rape takes on average just fifteen seconds frompenetration to ejaculation.Circumcision is sold as a disease prevention measure.When sex and genitals are regarded by a culture as filthy,people ignore them and they do indeed get filthy.When a penis is kept clean, the foreskin captures andlocalises infection, keeping the body safe until animmune response is mobilised. This also reduces the riskof passing an infection on, as the penis will be sore, andlovers will easily detect the signs of infection.A circumcised penis can hide infection and nonethelessspread it very effectively. It requires closer inspection forsafety than an uncircumcised one does.For some, the reduction in sensation that can happenwith circumcision is a torture.As a (circumcised) fuck-monster of my acquaintanceonce put it: I know that the most marvellous things arehappening in her mouth when she goes down on me.Exquisite and delicately delicious sensations … I knowall that is happening, and I know I am feeling hardly ahint of it.243

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe cultural damage may be a diabolical plot to enslavehuman energies and sell expensive motor cars … or itmay just be a natural step in planetary social evolution.Either way, it is something tantrikas need to heal from.Re-sensitising yourself through gentle self-loving is veryhelpful. Practising awareness in arousal is vital.244

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSuggestions for men:The more you can allow sensation, the more you canopen to it without tensing your buttocks and making likea woodpecker, the better.Give up fighting for an ejaculation, and do not get intojudging it as bad when it happens anyway.Do not bother with counting backwards in base sixteen,or evoking the image of a dead cat in order to prolongsex. Rather, if you need distraction, distract yourself bypaying close attention to your own sensation. Open toit, and allow the sound of your breath to express whatyou find.Open as much as you can to what you are feeling. Takea brave attitude towards enduring strong sensations.Those of you who have played rugby have a head startin this area.When ejaculation happens after a lot of energy has beenbuilt up, it becomes much stronger, much more orgasmicthan the usual genital sneeze. Explore this scientificallyin your self-loving. Less than twenty minutes of selflovingis hurried self-abuse. Show yourself some respect,and take enough time to enjoy your experience.Make the (hopefully) sensitive, thin skin of the penis tip,the glans, an important focus of your attention. Open tothe sensations which come from this sensitivity. Relaxyour bum and do PC muscle contractions when you feelthe urge to thrust. In this way, you can discover the maleequivalent of a woman’s clitoral orgasm – an energising,refreshing energy peak.Drop the idea that ejaculation happens automatically ata particular intensity of arousal. Even if this seems tobe true, strive to build up to greater levels of intensity245

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLanyway. If it feels like you may pass out from sheer nerveoverload, be willing to pass out. That did happen to me afew times. It may happen to you. It is not unpleasant.246

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSuggestions for women:If helping your lover with this does not look like a lot offun, forget it.If you have sufficient interest, willingness and awarenessto help, read on …Make it clear that you are in charge. Your T-shirt sloganis: I have the pussy, so I make the rules. You need totell him what to do and how to do it. You need to be incharge in order to guide and support him.You need his trust. Not his trust that you will not hurt/damage/abuse him, or trust that you will make thingsnice. He needs to trust that whatever he feels, whateverhe has to go through, is worth facing and learning from.Take a very long time – as long as you can manage, withforeplay. If you do the going out on a date thing, be alittle merciless, turning him on at every opportunity.Take a shawl to movies, to cover your hands and his lap.Choose restaurants where you can sit close together,where you can hear each other speak.When you get home, share a bath. Follow your inclinationsabout what to do. Stay in charge!Perhaps share some self-loving or naked gazing. Maybeyoni and/or lingam worship seems to be a good idea.Follow your inclinations. Pay attention to his breath asfeedback. Stop him every time you see him slip into hisautomatic rush to ejaculation. Remind him to relax hisbuttocks and breathe.If it happens (and it probably will) that a more or lessinvoluntary ejaculation occurs, let it be perfectly OK. Itcan even be fun to push him over his threshold onceor twice deliberately, if he is young and/or strong. If247

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLejaculation happens when he has been strongly arousedfor some time, it will not dissipate all of his energy. It isalso likely that he will be intensely sensitive for a littlewhile. Be gentle at first and listen to what his breath tellsyou about the intensity of his experience.Refuse penetration until your yoni demands it. Youshould be very lubricated when penetration is attempted.Help the fellow stay conscious by reminding him tobreathe. He should also be aroused, as indicated by hislubrication – the clear Cowper’s gland fluid, sometimescalled pre-cum.Favour positions where you are on top, or can easily ejecthim. Pay attention to his breath and movement. Keephim conscious!Allow and open to penetration and how it feels. If youfeel your yoni tightening, tighten it deliberately with yourPC muscles, then deliberately relax. Repeat as required.Do the opposite of faking your orgasm. Try to keep it asecret. Stay aware right into and through your orgasm(s)and relax into them, allowing the sensation to wash overyou.If (eventually) there comes a time when you want theenergy of his ejaculation, let your yoni grab him and takeit. If he is very aroused, and you are sitting astride him,you can probably manage this with slight movement andone set of PC muscle contractions.248

Note 4Touch, breath and timing

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe flavours of touchTouch, being so deeply repressed in our culture, is notgenerally felt at all by most people. A layer of fantasy andcraving obscures awareness.Developing some skill in receiving and giving touch isessential for tantrikas. It is necessary to make a deliberateeffort to correct the inherited cultural distortion beforethe truth can be approached.Experiment with all flavours of touch. Experiment withways of transitioning between them and using differentsensations simultaneously on different parts of thebody.The hand can feel and deliver a wide range of sensation:grasping, sliding, pinching, stroking, pressing, scratching,stretching, squeezing, slapping and so on. Teeth extendthis range, though care is advised. The mouth managesdeeper, richer sensations particularly suited to the moresensitive parts of the body. Paradoxically, the softnessand gentle warmth of tongue and lips can evoke exquisitesensation in relatively insensitive areas of the body too.On the receiving side of touch, open yourself to sensation.Give great attention to the sensations of being touched.Find the subtleties of the experience. Breathe, and letyour breath express in sound what you are feeling.Sensitivity can be recovered and enhanced to a sometimesastonishing degree. Some tantrikas can taste with theirfingertips. Some can taste with their lingams. Some candiscern, then adjust their blood pressure at will. Somehave developed sensitivity inside their veins and arteriesand can detect increasing levels of salts, sugars and oilsin their blood when digesting food. Some women canfeel their moment of ovulation. Explore.250

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKLet breath synchronise with touch. There is a naturalmovement and flow beyond technique and training. Usetechniques to correct the culture’s way, then find thenatural way.When one truly touches and when one truly allowsthe experience of being touched, a paradox becomesapparent. That which is touching, is itself feeling touch.That which is being touched, touches.Give and take honest feedback. If someone has, forexample, a hungry, grabbing or taking flavour to theirtouch, they need to know it if they are ever to improveon it.251

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLTouching from the heartWhen some people touch you it can feel warm, friendlyand even loving. When others touch you, it can feelunpleasant, depleting and even invasive.The difference lies in the energy, or more accurately thelack of energy, that they are touching you with.Focus your awareness at your root chakra. As you inhale,contract your PC muscles and draw your heat upwardfrom your root to your heart. As you exhale, let theenergy flow outward from your heart. When you feel yourenergy flowing strongly to your heart, let it flow alongyour arms to your hands.Then touch the beloved, with something aware, somethingpresent and something truly worth calling touch.252

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKConscious breathBreath is usually restricted by the subconscious. Thebelly does not rise and fall in a natural rhythm but is heldtight. When making love, restrained breathing seriouslyaffects the body’s flow of energy.To correct this, most forms of yoga, Jeru Kabbal’sQuantum Light Breath, Stanislav Grof’s HolotropicBreathwork, Mantak Chia’s energy cultivation practicesand other teachings which involve conscious breathingare useful.Variations of pace, intensity, depth and even nostril orderare worth exploring. Some breathing patterns enablealtered states of consciousness. Others work as a timemachine, opening areas of suppressed awareness andmemory. A deep, relaxed breath allows sensations to beexperienced to greater depths.Bear in mind that the objective is not to master thesepractices. Use them to find your natural, unrestricted,responsive breath.When fucking, drop the jackhammering and slow down.Slow right down, until your stroke pace is compatible withan easy breathing rate (no panting). On the in-stroke,the penetrator breathes in, optionally contracting the PCmuscles. The penetrated partner breathes out, relaxingthe PC muscles, opening to the penetration. On the outstroke,the penetrator relaxes the PC muscles, breathesout and relaxes deeply into sensation. The penetratedbreathes in, optionally contracting the PC muscles.When touching, massaging, being massaged or makinglove, let your breath be responsive to and expressiveof what you feel. Breathe in when feeling tension and253

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLintense sensation, then release the tension and opencompletely to sensation on the exhalation.The sound of the breath should not be restrained orconcealed. Let the voice box become involved, givingthe exhalation a tone, a note. If the voice box is deeplyrelaxed, the breath flowing over it will produce a tone onboth directions of breath. Be guided by the expressionof sensation conveyed by the sounds of the beloved’sbreath.254

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSevens and changing gearThis simple count can be used in many situations. Itsmain use is for moving from one level of sexual intensityto another.It works with and is applicable to almost anything youdo in relation to your sexual energy or your partner’senergy. It can be used for changing the intensity ofbreath, changing the feeling of a caress, increasing thedepth of penetration or changing speed of movement.It works with two states of something, e.g. shallowpenetration as the first level of intensity, and deeperpenetration as the second. The change is notnecessarily from a milder sensation to a stronger one.It is the transition that creates the intensity, not what istransitioned between.The count works in units of seven. The first time throughthe count, all seven are of the first intensity.The second time through the count, the first six are at thefirst level of intensity, and the seventh is at the second.In the next cycle, the first five are in the first level, andthe sixth and seventh are the second.Continue like this, switching to the second level ofintensity earlier each time as per the following table. 1 isthe first intensity, 2 the second.1 1 1 1 1 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 21 1 1 1 1 2 21 1 1 1 2 2 2255

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOL1 1 1 2 2 2 21 1 2 2 2 2 21 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 2Do not be concerned about accuracy. The basic intentis to move from one intensity to another by switchingbetween them, while increasing the frequency of the newintensity. It is fine to use the numbers just as a roughguide.This is as far as you need to follow the count. You cankeep things as they are for a while, and then use thecount to change things again.Sexual athletes may enjoy the full count, especially whenapplied to penetration intensity. When used this way, thepattern continues thus, with 3 indicating a third level ofintensity:2 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 22 2 2 2 2 2 32 2 2 2 2 3 32 2 2 2 3 3 32 2 2 3 3 3 3256

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOK2 2 3 3 3 3 32 3 3 3 3 3 33 3 3 3 3 3 3The second level moves to the third in the samegradually increasing pattern. Seven lines at the third,then increasing by the same steps to the fourth, and soon. Classically, each phase of increase moves energy upone chakra, so the full count is quite a performance.In the Yab Yum and Sky Dancing positions, this rhythmcount can be used with PC muscle contractions.257

Note 5Therapy to truth in three easy steps

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLPsychological sufferingPriests, pastors, rabbis, lamas, gurus, psychologists,ESTies, scientologists, personal coaches, encountertherapists, western buddhists and even the occasionalmormon have models for understanding humanpsychopathology. Where they diverge in theirunderstanding, it is not so much a matter of a truedifference as their need to distinguish themselvesfrom each other in the self-improvement marketplace.Other variations in their understanding arise as theirapproaches have different intentions and areas ofappropriate application.Here is my view. Simple and practical enough, I hope, tobe useful:When something is emotionally too intense or too largefor us, we put something of the experience away. Wesuppress the experience, or part of it.Resisting the fullness of our experience hurts. The hurtneeds a focus of blame. A layer of anger is laid down overthe hurt. The anger is resisted and denied. Numbness,hypersensitivity and emotional confusion are the usualresults.This ability to suppress difficult feelings is valuable andpositive for survival. It enables us to pass through thehorror of a difficult moment and to address the feelingsaround it later on.It is important for our own mental stability that we revisitthe problematic moment and face our feelings. Wegenerally do not do this. Mostly, we prefer to suppressthem even more.This hurts. Avoidance of truth always hurts.260

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKWe then look for something to blame for this hurt. Wecover the hurt with anger.After that, we suppress the anger. We become numbed,desensitised.261

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLAn example:It is true that a child is a serious inconvenience to theadults who raise it. No matter how much love, adorationand tolerance the sainted parents may have, the anklebitersand rug-rats will get underfoot. There is nothingpreventable about this. Small children are inconvenient.They even interfere with adult technology. A bathroomsink becomes a midnight Niagara Falls. A candle becomesan inferno in minutes. A mobile phone becomes a deeplevelsewerage explorer. If you doubt any of this, talk toparents, perhaps even your own.At two to three years of age a child is likely be confrontedwith the fact of their inconvenience. It is not a fact thatmost young children can allow themselves to know infullness, or even anything approaching fullness. Thefeelings that a child has about being an inconvenienceand a nuisance to its parents are far too scary to feel. Tocover the feelings, the truth has to be denied. This makesa wound in the psyche, a no-go area in the mind. Toprevent the mind from inadvertently going into the no-goarea, pain surrounds it. The pain is a sentry, a guard. It isan alarm which is triggered by any approach.To protect the hurt, the mind blames. It makes theperceived source of the pain an external one. It claimsthat the pain which arises is an unfair suffering whichshould be balanced by vengeance. Anger arises.The child rapidly discovers that anger is not an acceptablefeeling to express and learns to suppress it more or lesssuccessfully most of the time.Later, when the person is an adult, if the feelings arefaced and the truth discovered, the original suppressedtruth is understood in context and is hardly frightening.262

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKIt can even be amusing. There are few things as funnyin this world as the trouble children cause their parents.The children should be laughing …263

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThe three stepsConventional talk-therapy can be useful for the firststage of this work, but probably no more so than basicmind training or deep personal inquiry. Attention can bebrought to unconscious assumptions, behaviour patternsand resistance. Awareness of the underlying anger canbe evoked. This is about as far as modern Westernpsychological understanding and practice is useful.To clear the past influence completely, to free oneselffrom the nuisance of these mostly subconscious angersand frustrations, further work is required.The first thing is to shake off any residual numbness andto address the layer of anger.This takes some energy, intent and commitment. Itrequires you to allow the anger into your body and toexpress it with an attitude of totality by running, punchinga bag, strangling a pillow and so on.Techniques from encounter therapy, primal therapy andother cathartic methods are very useful in this area.Osho’s Dynamic Meditation is a particularly powerful,fast, effective, safe and thorough method.When anger around a past event has become conscious,the layer of hurt is discovered. As with the anger, themore thoroughly this is allowed to be felt, the quicker itwill pass.Just feeling the hurt, without resistance, is the basicmethod for getting through this. Atisha’s Heart Meditationfacilitates this work very effectively.Under the hurt lies the truth. The truth can be guessedat all along, but is only experienced once the hurt hasbeen more or less completely experienced. The truth can264

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKbe quite a surprise and is sometimes not at all what onewould have guessed.Experiencing the truth in its fullness sets you free of theneed to suppress it. More importantly, it frees you fromthe consequences of that suppression.265

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLSo, in three easy steps:1. Express the anger.2. Feel the hurt.3. Discover the truth.No matter how complex and compelling your story is, nomatter how unfair, nasty or tragic it may be … it can, withsufficient courage, be resolved in these three steps.All that stands between us and the truth is our own fearand stubbornness.266

Note 6Kissing

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLStart at the bottom and workyour way upThis may come as a surprise, but tantrikas kiss less thanmost people. However, when tantrikas do kiss, somethingquite special is happening.Often, in our culture, kissing happens in a way that is,shall we say, sub-optimal.A couple sit opposite each other at a table in inadequatelight. They are clothed, and only their hands and faces areexposed to each other. They drink some alcohol, and theurges and cravings which they generally suppress arise.An introvert becomes an extrovert. A shy and reservedfellow becomes Casanova.In the dim light, they can project almost any emotionupon the beloved’s features. They can make hugeunjustified and even unjustifiable assumptions aboutthe depth of connection and the richness of the meaninginvolved in their interaction. They kiss and touch mainlythe exposed parts of their bodies, from ear lobes andmouth down the throat, almost to the nipples. They fall,for now, in love, kind of.Human sexual energy, when naturally expressed, riseschakra by chakra, from the bottom up. The fire is lit atthe root, and should have built some significant heatby the time it reaches the heart. To focus the energy inthe upper chakras at the beginning denies it a base, afoundation … and the energy will inevitably drop to theroot at some point.This drop from heart to root marks the point at whichsome men describe becoming inflamed and possessedby an insistent urge to fuck – with not much awarenessavailable for anything else.268

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSome women describe the experience as a boundarybetween romantic love and sex. They may assume it tobe a natural boundary, and some struggle considerablywith this division.The shift from love mode to sex mode happens whenthe couple gets to a place of privacy and does what wehumans laughably call making love.When genitals get involved, many women in our culturefeel numb and disconnected from what is happening.They see the lights of romance go out of their partner’seyes and they see the blank hazy stare of lust whichreplaces it. Just a shallow lust though, insubstantial andeasily depleted.The little rush of energy from a man’s forced and hurriedejaculation is typically just enough to show the womaninvolved that this could have been enjoyable – if it hadsomehow gone differently.With Tantra, as with many things, the best approach is tostart at the bottom and work your way up.Start as low as possible, if not from the feet, then fromthe backs of the knees. Draw energy into the root, thejunction of the legs. From there, two lines ascend, curvingthrough the nipples and on to the throat.In general, if your touches, kissing and caressing startlow on the body and move upward, the sexual energyyou build will be substantial and sustainable. When youfeel the arising energy reach your heart and then yourthroat, kissing feels quite different.It feels different because the kiss is fuelled by a worthwhileenergy. Something that can be felt by the beloved.Something that communicates the energy of love.269

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLWithout a good fire, without the energy to give it realheat, kissing has no real energy in and of itself – nothingto connect with, nothing to communicate. Such a kisscreates a little erotic-imagination thought bubble. Thedream of what a kiss could be like.This dream is what inspires most poetry, much songwritingand many soapie scripts. Many people settle forit because they mistakenly believe there is some sharing,some connection happening in their kissing. The realityis a little different. Each is sealed within their own littleimaginary kissy-place thought bubble, which includes animaginary version of their beloved.Whenever you kiss, at the very least, pay a little attentionto your root chakra first. Do some PC muscle contractionsto get in touch with it. Draw the heat to your heart andif it feels substantial, then by all means, let that energyflow into your kiss.It may happen one day that you are joined with a belovedin coition, and an especially powerful orgasm comesalong. Open to it and be vulnerable to it. Let it rush upthrough the body. If it reaches your throat, you may feela sudden and sweet salivation. Then, beloved, is the besttime of all to kiss.270

Note 7The dark and the dangerous

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLExtreme techniquesSometimes an eroticism is so deeply rooted that it has tobe explored more or less in actuality. Sometimes this canbe scary. Sometimes it can be physically dangerous.Always maintain your awareness and your intelligent selfregulation.That said, play nice and have fun.272

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKBDSMThis genre of eroticism is no longer a shameful secretand nowadays more of a lifestyle choice. At some timesand in some places it was and is even fashionable.The lifestyle, as it is often called, has its own language.BDSM is an acronym for bondage, domination, sadismand masochism. It is a world in which those of a dominantand/or sadistic inclination are called Tops, Doms,Mistresses and Masters and do all sorts of things to anddemand all sorts of service and obedience from those ofa submissive or masochistic inclination: their bottoms,submissives, slaves, subbies and even house-puppies.Relationship styles vary. Polyamory is popular and sois the old-school marriage contract which still containsthe words “To Love and Obey”. Some people are lifetimeDoms, some are lifetime submissives or slaves. Many area switch, which means that they have an eroticism whichlikes a bit of both sides of things.Doms hold overt power, but the covert power of the subbiesometimes results in a phenomenon called topping frombelow. A variant of this phenomenon, the SAM, meaningSmart Ass Masochist, is pretty much universally dislikedand apparently quite common.If elements of power (over or under someone else),ownership, control, and/or giving or receiving pain featurestrongly in your fantasies or show up noticeably in yourerotic response, this area is worth some exploration. Ifyou hardly have fantasies without these features, thearea is worth some serious exploration.Much of the range of kinks and practices of the BDSMcommunity quite obviously have their origins inparenting and schoolyard traumas. Some sectors of the273

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLBDSM community are aware of this, and there are sexualhealing practitioners who are adept at evoking andresolving childhood traumas using these techniques.Considering our culture’s tendency to rule by force, itis remarkable that bondage, domination, sadism andmasochism are not even more popular than they are.The literature is extensive, and most of it is accessibleonline. Google “purity test” as a start, and take it fromthere.Do not take whichever version of the purity test youencounter as a list of challenges. This is not stampcollecting or merit-badge earning. It is an explorationof your personal eroticism. Only play with what you,personally, find particularly hot.I recommend concentrating on one fantasy area at a timeand completing it before looking at the kinky urge thatnext presents its perverted little head.Completing it means that you have found totality in theeroticism, kink or perversity that you chose to exploreand that you have been disillusioned by it. It may wellremain within your range of sexual expression, but itloses the quality of need, of hunger.If playing with this yourself is insufficient and exploringit with a lover is not an option for you, do be careful ifyou go looking for help. As a wise friend told me, “Therereally are some nasty people out there.” I recommendthat you research anyone you want to work with by firstmeeting their students.If you seem to have primarily Dom inclinations, I stronglyrecommend that you explore whatever sub inclinationsyou may have first. Every eroticism with a Dom qualitycan be explored with roles reversed.274

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe reason I suggest this is because it is essentialpreparation for a Dom. If you do not know the sensationsyou are evoking, you will be a bad Dom. If you have notexplored the depths of what you would be helping asubbie to experience, you will be a weak Dom. If youhave not found the treasure in those depths yourself, youwill be prone to uncertainty – bad for a Dom. If you donot know the sweetness of submission as such, you willprobably end up judging yourself as nasty, dangerous orevil, and you may by then be right.Couples who play with BDSM often reverse the rolesthey take up in the rest of life. For those who are goodupstanding family people of the culture, and unlikely toread this book, this is perfectly good. Their marriages arelikely to last longer on account of it. They may becomepillars of strength in the BDSM community, fighting forevery masochist’s right to a fair crack of the whip.I encourage tantrikas with a strong BDSM eroticism totake the same roles in the bedroom as they do in life. Thisprevents sexuality from being used as a balancing forceor counterweight to the rest of life. It brings honesty intothe boudoir and facilitates an exchange of energy that isrelationship instead of preventing it. The stability of therelationship has to be risked if the relating is to movefrom a wrestle to a dance.The BDSM community is very keen on rules, boundaries,agreements and guidelines. Some of these are well worthfollowing.Perhaps the most useful and important of these are thepetition and the safeword.275

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLSafewordsA safeword enables a sub to squeak, beg, struggle andso on without the Dom having to worry about them beingin serious distress.A safeword (or safe-gesture if gagged) should beunambiguous and should not sound similar to someother common phrase. The rule when it is used is: Thescene is over. Done. Pack up and clean up over.A safeword is a measure of last resort. It should neverneed to be used. When it is used, something has gonewrong or someone is in distress.This rule also prevents a subbie from using the safewordto manipulate the Dom.276

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKWriting a petitionThe petition is a great aid to awareness. For some, justthe process of writing it brings much insight and clarityto an otherwise murky eroticism. The petition is a letterfrom the sub to the Dom requesting the scene.Express your willingness as specifically and as totallyas you can.Make your best effort and then some, to expose the coreof your eroticism and what you want to experience in thescene.Part of the freedom and delight in being a sub in a BDSMscene is that you “aren’t responsible” for what happens,what you enjoy, don’t enjoy, or anything else after youhave committed to your petition.Your petition therefore is an opportunity to “participatein your downfall” by revealing particular things which you(shamefully) delight in, and things you (excitedly) fear.Of course, it is not as if your petition is a wish list for anM (Mistress or Master) to fulfill.An M worth calling an M will surely do a few things to youthat you have not thought of. They will almost certainlyget you to do some things you would “absolutely never”do, to test your submission, to explore your eroticcapacities, to punish you for bad behaviour or just on awhim.Work on giving yourself away as much as possible.Expose your vulnerabilities so that your M can make thebest use of you.Brag about your capabilities.277

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLWhat is enjoyable about you? How deep is your devotion?How good a slave can you be? How instantly, howunquestioningly can you respond to any request, andhow total, how good are you willing to be, no matterwhat is required of you?How willingly will you accept punishment, deserved ornot. Tell M why s/he will be delighted to use you ratherthan just selling you or ignoring you.Confess your failings.Where is your willingness less than total? Which sexualtechniques are you not good at? In which ways are yousexually inexperienced? Which aspects or parts of yourbody are you ashamed of? Which other failings do youexpect M should be stern about?Expose your strategies.Presumably you want this scene to be as deep, as totaland as complete as possible. Your basic position, yourtrue alignment, is “for” it. Disarm yourself completely ofyour defences before the scene by being honest in yourpetition.Describe your habits of avoidance and protection. Doyou distract yourself or M with acting, with performance?Do you become stupid, sulky or otherwise uncooperativewhen pressured by authority? Do you numb out underpressure and go to your happy place?What does your misbehaviour look like? Tell M how youmight be uncooperative, and which kinds of punishmentor threat will work quickly and efficiently with you.Use the opportunity for confession, penance andatonement.Confess the lusts and desires in yourself that you judgeas shameful and humiliating. Comment on which parts278

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKof your body deserve, crave or fear which kinds oftreatment.If there is a quality of sin, in the Catholic sense of the word,to your eroticism, make your petition an opportunity forconfession and your scene an exercise in opening to andfully feeling every nuance of your atonement.Have fun.Beloved slave, it can look a little strange, but thisexploration into the truth of sex, love and power can bea lot of fun. State as clearly as possible what will make itas bad (good!) for you as it can be.You should (have to) masturbate several times in thecourse of writing your petition.If writing your petition is not that hot for you, considerrather exploring an area of eroticism that is moreimmediate for you.279

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLAnal sexThis is not on everybody’s erotic agenda, but for manyof us, it is (even outside of hip hop circles) an importantarea of interest.If your own, or another’s anus is not fascinating andalluring to you, just skip this section … really.Anal penetration in some form or other is very often atthe centre of fantasies of being forced to submission.The anus is where anxieties and tensions at survival levelare held. It is, quite literally, the centre of vulnerability.All satoris of deep submission are valuable for a seeker.One day, we will all have to submit to death.In the process of dying, we will have to feel the loss ofeverything we are attached to, the hurt of everythingwe have left unexpressed and the sadness of everyopportunity we have missed.Tantrikas aim to manage this completion before thephysical death of the body.Being penetrated anally can take you into and throughto the other side of feelings like hopelessness, despair,abandonment, worthlessness and defeat.If it so happens that you find yourself the penetrator,be ready for the beloved to move through some intenseand perhaps even unpleasant and fearful feelings andmemories. Tears should be expected and welcomed ifthey flow.Do not stop penetration unless the beloved asks you tostop. Do hold the beloved close and comfortingly. Do letyour tears flow in empathy, if that happens. Do let your280

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKbreath be heard and do remind the beloved to breathewith sound if they forget.It is often not even necessary to actually penetrate theanus to give it sufficient sensation to have these dramaticeffects.A unisex technique for anal non-penetrationPlace the dry pad of the thumb flat and firmly on theanus, covering it. Apply a little pressure and twist it a fewdegrees each way. Set a slow rhythm. Gradually increasethe angle of the twist by the sevens count. When yourthumb slips slightly, take that as maximum intensity. Goback then to twisting by a small angle and increase itgradually – repeat.Use gentle and subtle movement to encourage relaxationand openness. If you feel the anus relax and open, pressslightly into it with the pad of your thumb and slowlymassage around the inside of the outer ring muscle.This method can produce a very strong sensation ofpenetration.A technique specifically for a woman’s bodyGently enter the lower (towards the anus) area of theyoni with the right thumb, pad down. Settle the thumb,well lubricated, as deep as it goes on the lower wall of theyoni with very light pressure. Curl the forefinger until ittouches her anus, and gently pinch and squeeze aroundthe ring muscle which you should be able to feel quiteclearly between finger and thumb. By varying the pressure(sevens count) encourage relaxation and opening.When you feel the anus relax and open, straighten yourforefinger so that it lies over and past the anus. Startingat the junction of thumb and palm, squeeze her perineum(the line between yoni and anus) very gently from inside281

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLand outside. Squeeze the lower wall of the yoni and theanus between the base of the thumb and the base of theforefinger. Bring thumb and finger closer, so that thedirection of the squeezing is into her body. You shouldbe able to feel the walls of the anal passage pressed flatbetween your finger and thumb. Massage it gently butsteadily, keeping the waves of pressure moving in aninward direction.Some will find these techniques sufficient and actualpenetration unnecessary. If someone does not knowwhat you are doing they will probably not believe thatyou did not actually penetrate their anus.PenetrationIf there is a lot of eroticism connected to the anus, if it is areally strong feature in the fantasy, these techniques maybe insufficient. Buy some condoms, perhaps disposableexamination gloves and some glycerine-based (oil-free)lubricant.Feelings like revulsion, squeamishness, disgust and fearmay be mixed with the erotic feelings. Do not ignore orresist them. Whatever is associated with the erotic is bestaccepted and explored.You may have judgements about the naturalness of it.Stop that nonsense right away. Nature is not only wilderand kinkier than you imagine, it is wilder and kinkierthan you can imagine.Meat eaters should consider going vegetarian … no eggsor dairy vegetarian, for a week or two before attemptinganal sex in the passive role. Lots of fruit and vegetables.Either that or the highly recommended ten-day brownrice fast.282

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKIf your last crap was sludge, not well-formed and basicallyin one piece, forget anal sex for right now. Sorry, but ithad to be said.Good health and excellent personal hygiene are of courseessential.Be a bit intelligent about what you use for penetration.Nothing at all sharp, ever. Cut flower stems, for exampleare a very bad idea indeed, no matter how pretty yourbeloved might look with a rose in his bum. Woodenimplements might have or develop splinters. Anythingwith a rough surface is not suitable either.Even if you are pretty sure an object is harmless, considerputting it into a condom for safety and easy cleaning.Putting a condom on a sharp or rough thing does notmake it safe.Always be slow and steady with anal stimulation. Theanus is very sensitive and is wired with a seeminglydisproportionate profusion of nerves. A feeling of reallymassive penetration can generally be induced by just aslight stretching with two fingertips.The anus is likely to be tight and resistant at first, nomatter how erotic is it for the beloved. Work with it gentlyand teasingly until you feel it relax and open beforecarefully and gently attempting any penetration.Use the natural lubricants of your bodies in preferenceto oils or glycerine lubricants. I have heard of a diseasetransmission study in a prison that confirms thiswisdom.If a woman is lying on her back, her yoni naturally sharesits lubrication with her anus. It is also easy to collectlubricant from the yoni on the fingers for use elsewhere.Saliva is also a fine lubricant. Using the tongue to insert283

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLsaliva into the anus before penetration is the historically,traditionally, classically correct method.This venerable technique has other advantages. At thelevel of sensation and response, it is very effective atgetting the anus to relax and open. At the level of fantasyand eroticism, it is extremely powerful and evocative.If anilingus seems to be scary, or too much of a challengeto your immune system, please consider this: If yourmouth is repelled or endangered, surely your lingam, oreven your fingers should not get involved either.A general good health guideline: If anything is notdelicious to your mouth, it should on no account beallowed anywhere near your genitals.Remember that anything that has been used to penetratean anus should not be used to penetrate a yoni until ithas been thoroughly washed.Even with a long-term partner and perfect hygiene, acondom is probably a good idea, preferably one withoutsilicone lubricant. Silicone lubricant can cause lesions inthe mucous membranes, weakening their resistance toinfection.Always, always, always be guided by your eroticism inyour choices of what you do and how you do it. If it is nota significant turn-on for you … rather explore whateveris!If you have not explored anal penetration with yourself,you probably should do that before trying it with someoneelse. If you haven’t done this, and penetrate another– you will not have developed an awareness of what issafe, how to proceed, or even what feels good. If youhave not explored this with yourself, and get penetratedby someone else, you may not know when it is time to284

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKrelax and open, and when it is time to scream for betterlubrication.Pleasure is important. Often, the key to revisiting andreleasing old trauma is to encourage the beloved tobecome aware of an intrinsically pleasurable aspect ofwhat they found traumatic.285

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLErotic asphyxiaProbably less popular than anal sex and certainly moredangerous, this practice has killed a lot of people,including some of our favourite Hollywood personalitiesand rock stars. Officially, the deadly accident associatedwith it is called Fatal Autoerotic Asphyxia.Around this particular kink, psychologists and othermedical professionals can get quite unreasonablyalarmist. They sometimes exhibit a tendency to overreactand look to heavy chemical intervention or even(no, I am not kidding) forms of castration as a cure.This is because the only cases they encounter are soloplayers for whom things have gone horribly wrong.Fatally wrong. It is hard for medical professionals to berational around this topic. Be patient with them – ratherthan being their patient.There is now greater awareness that this is not such anunusual practice. There is a perception too, also probablyon account of celebrity deaths, that it is hideously kinky… right out there, on the fringe.And it really is dangerous, the way many do it.By messing with your air supply and your carotid arteriesyou are risking a few seconds, even a few minutes, ofunconsciousness.The most important thing to consider is: What will happento your body if you pass out?If passing out means you will be strangled to death … youclearly have not thought things through with sufficientrigour.286

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSlipknots that you can pull loose, or a knife to cut theplastic bag might seem to offer safety, but for many, itturns out that they do not.The reason is that you can lose consciousness suddenlyfrom pressure on your carotid arteries. Suddenly. Withoutany warning. Without first running at all short of air.Without the build-up of carbon dioxide first triggeringstrong urges to breathe. Suddenly.Here is a safety hint which includes the bonus side-effectof giving your abdominal muscles an enviable six-packlook: Tie the rope, silken cord, chain or whatever you areusing across the bed. Make it slack, but by all means,secure the ends firmly.If you lie on your back, on top of the bed, you shouldbe able to fit your head comfortably under the rope.Do a partial sit-up (tummy crunch) to press your throatagainst the rope. Play with that pressure while enjoyingyourself.Passing out, falling back and landing on a soft bed isfairly safe.Mixing social drugs, particularly alcohol, with thispractice is a very bad idea indeed.If you find this practice highly erotic, the best way to playwith it is of course with a partner. Have the beloved sitastride you and place their hands on your throat withoutsqueezing. Press your throat up against your lover’shands in self-regulation.When this eroticism is explored with awareness, expectmemories of abuse, struggle, even of your birth. It canalso be associated with power, domination and control.Parents do occasionally find it necessary or useful tograb or hold a child by the neck.287

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIf your urge to experience this practice is more aboutexploring the experience of unconsciousness, and notactually erotic for you to a greatly significant degree,consider googling local practitioners of rebirthing,holotropic breathwork or something similar.288

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKGolden showersMany regard this as extreme because they believe it isdangerous. It is not. The urine of a healthy person ismore or less filtered blood, and fairly harmless. Manycultures have used urine (though usually babies’ urine)as a medication for a range of ailments.289

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLMassive penetration andfistingThese scary-to-behold practices are not as dangerous oras painful as they can appear, and do not, of course,approach the stress to the body of, for example, givingbirth.Like most anal eroticism, submission is usually thekey element. Very often the dildo or hand is more apsychologically important element than a physicalchallenge to capacity.If strong sensation, stretching and perhaps a little painis what your eroticism seems to demand, this can be feltwithout risking damage.Go slowly. Very slowly. The sensation of penetrationis enhanced if increased gradually. Many small, slowincreases in penetration are far more evocative than afew faster and more painful ones.Take care of your body and pay special attention tolubrication.290

Note 8Meditation

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLFour essential meditationsOsho’s Dynamic Meditation challenges and purgesseriousness, rigidity, numbness, and the angerbeneath.Atisha’s Heart Meditation has at some point beenabsolutely essential for all students of this school. Itaddresses the fear and pain that is revealed when angerhas been purged.Osho’s Kundalini Meditation enlivens the body andencourages fluidity and acceptance of life’s raw power.It raises the libido (for a few days) and helps sleep to berestful and deep.Siddhartha Gautama’s Death Meditation can evoke deepsatori, revealing essential truths about the nature ofexistence and being. It is especially helpful in times ofloneliness.292

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKOsho’s Dynamic MeditationThe best way to learn this valuable technique is withother people. Seek out an Osho centre, or sanyassinsdoing this meditation near you. Osho.com has links tomeditation centres worldwide. It also has instructionsand video demonstrations of the five stages. The musicis readily available online.The five stages are timed with the music and total onehour.Stage 1: Chaotically timed breathing, fast, through thenostrils, using the movement of the arms and body asa bellows. It is important to do this stage with as muchintensity as you can manage.Stage 2: Catharsis. Madness. Whatever form it takes,just collapse into the chaos of your mind, throwing outits current state of chaos, whatever that looks like. If ithappens that you are purging anger, hit pillows ratherthan the floor. Anything goes, except hurting yourself.Stage 3: Jumping, not necessarily high. Just enough tofeel a bump from your heels, up your spine. Throw yourarms up and make the sound “Hoo” on impact. Let theimpact of your heels drive the sound through your throat,which is opened upward. The “Hoo” (an energising chant/mantra) will sound something like the first part of anAmerican military hooah.Stage 4: Stop and stand as you are. Enjoy the silence.Stand in more or less the position you stopped in, butnot frozen, not stressing the body.Stage 5: Dance gently back to life and into your world.I recommend that you close your eyes throughout.293

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIn stage 2, there are no rules, apart from not interactingwith others. Do not hold any constraint on yourself beyondthat and not harming your body. Sometimes clothes getthrown off, and it can be very noisy. It is polite to warnthe neighbours that you are, for example, going to bewatching a horror movie at high volume.When doing the Dynamic Meditation in a group: If youfind in the second stage that you are unable or unwillingto let go into your catharsis, do make sure that you throwout some energy you are feeling, whatever it may be.Remind yourself that you are a mammal living a tamelife. Try at least to growl and roar. It is very importantthat you purge something because everyone in the spaceis purging the resentments, tensions and the madness oftheir civilised lives.You do not want to be receiving any of that, and yourprotection from it is to purge too.If, after a few minutes, you do not seem to have anythingto work with, get out of the room. Come back in whenstage 3 starts.Dynamic Meditation is far easier if the first stage isdone with great strength and intensity. I will repeat that.Dynamic Meditation is far easier if the first stage is donewith great strength and intensity.294

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThe Heart Meditation ofMaster Atisha (Bless you.)This practice is most accessible when you are hurting,especially when you are hurting with emotional pain.When your pain has been intense enough for long enoughthat you feel sharp pain in the centre of your sternum,this practice is essential.Sit comfortably, or lie down. It can help to touch thecentre of the chest to draw your attention to that area ofthe body and the sensation of pain.Close your eyes, get in touch with the pain, open to itand submit to the fact that you feel it.Breathe in, drawing the sensation of hurt directly into theheart centre. Accept it. Be willing to be wounded by it, tosuffer its full effects right now. Welcome it.Breathing in through an open mouth can help the breathto be felt at the heart.It can take a few inhalations, a lot of feeling and perhapssome tears before you feel you have managed to takethe hurt in.When an inhalation has a feeling of completeness – thatthat particular hurt has been accepted and felt in itsfullness – breathe out from your heart centre.Repeat this cycle, with the emphasis on the inhalationon accepting and allowing whatever hurts to just hurt,as much as it needs to. Alternate this with exhaling fromthe heart, which you will most likely feel as warm, lovingand giving.295

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIt can happen that each inhalation brings in pain and hurtand each exhalation returns love, or it may take a fewinhalations and a few exhalations in turn.When breathing pain in, draw it into your heart fromyour heart at first. When that pain seems to have eased,draw pain into your heart from your whole body. If youcontinue for long enough and take the feelings in willinglyenough, you may come to feel that all current hurt in thebody has been felt and released as love.At this point, seldom before half an hour into the practicefor a beginner, draw in all hurt, all pain, all forms ofsuffering that your awareness can reach. Just the generalmass vibe of suffering from any cause or none. Breatheit into your heart centre and breathe back love andcompassion.An hour to two is usually the ideal amount of time forthis meditation. Marathon sessions, even through anentire night may be suitable too, especially at times ofintense suffering and distress for you personally, or forthe planet at large.The development of this practice is attributed to MasterAtisha who said:“As you breathe in, take in and accept all the sadness,pain, and negativity of the whole world, includingyourself, and absorb it into your heart. As you breatheout, pour out all your joy and bliss; bless the whole ofexistence.”This is a powerful practice. Once you get comfortablein the technique, by all means adapt it to suit yourself.Some practice it while walking, for example. Just dorespect two rules:Rule 1: Start with your own hurt. Start with the pain inyour heart, then gradually reach outward through your296

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKbody, accepting and feeling all current suffering. Firstyou, thoroughly, before reaching out.Rule 2: You may find the movement of energy in thismeditation very palpable, easy to direct and guide,particularly if you have experience in martial arts,intuitive massage, reiki, magick, chi-gung, Taoist orother practices which can activate/enable perception ofsubtle-body energies. Do not direct the energy. Do notpersonalise it – do not direct where you draw hurt andsuffering from and do not direct where it goes either.Just let the love return to existence, unconditionally.If you break the rules, intense pain in the sternum is theusual physical consequence. There is one medicine forthis pain: this practice. When I broke this rule, it tooka lot of Heart Meditation, practiced with sincerity andhonesty, pretty much daily, for a month or so before Ifelt an improvement. It was several months before I feltfully recovered.297

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLOsho’s Kundalini MeditationAs with Dynamic Meditation, the best way to learn thisvaluable technique is with other people. Find detailedinformation and the music at www.osho.com.The four stages are timed with the music and total onehour.Stage 1: Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart,bend the knees slightly. Let your legs shake. Let theshaking spread through your relaxed body. Sometimes,the shaking can become very intense, sometimes youcan relax into it and sometimes it may feel orgasmic.However it is, accept it and keep the shaking going.Stage 2: Dance. With your eyes closed or open. Let yourdance be an expression of the (probably considerable)energy within you. Dance for yourself, and not withanyone else. Celebrate your own experience.Stage 3: Stand or sit, eyes closed.Stage 4: Lie down flat on your back and relax completelyin silence. Yoga practitioners know this as the CorpseAsana.298

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKSiddhartha Gautama’s DeathMeditationLike Atisha’s Heart Meditation, this technique is simplebut extremely powerful.Start by sitting with your eyes open. Watch your breathand let it become slower and deeper.When your breath is comfortably deep and slow, closeyour eyes as you breathe out and open them as youbreathe in.Establish this as a rhythm. Look outward as the inhalationfills your body. Look inward as you exhale.While you inhale, let the feeling of the body becomingfull give a little pressure, a little support to your outwardgaze. As you exhale, let the feeling of increasingemptiness in the body draw you inward.After a while, opening your eyes will become a limitationon your outward gaze. Keep your eyes closed, and letyour outward (inhaling) gaze become as far-feeling as itcan.Lie back, flat on your back.Keep this pendulum swinging, this feeling of outwardand inward motion going. Increase it as you can.If you need an agenda, let it be to work the techniquestrongly enough to discover the final point of in and themaximum extent of out.A half hour is the minimum time I suggest. Like HeartMeditation, this is a practice that you will probably usea lot.299

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLIt is good for bedtime, and pleasant to fall asleep in.By all means use it or Heart Meditation when sufferinginsomnia.300

Note 9Chakras and kundalini

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLChakrasThe energy that is felt at the chakras, and the sense withwhich we detect it is completely natural, but latent orunderdeveloped in most of us.The nearest most people come to being aware of thissense is when someone hugs or touches them – more isfelt and more is experienced than changes in heat andpressure can account for.The sensory mechanism that responds to the subtleenergies of the body awakens quite naturally whenobstacles to its perception are removed.At first, the newly perceived sense information mapsinto some combination of visual, auditory and touchexperience. As the sense becomes more familiar, thebrain learns to map and render it as a sense in its ownright.This is why chakras are usually described and illustratedas having colours, shapes and sounds.The chakras are the first feature detected, in much thesame way that water is seen by its ripples. They are theplaces in the body where the energy of life is most easilynoticed.The experience of energy flowing or being constrictedat the chakras is remembered in our language. Thisknowledge is just not acknowledged or studied much inour culture.When the need to communicate ‘something difficult’occurs, we may feel a tension or obstruction in the throat.We say that it takes guts to face our enemies. We knowthere are things we cannot stomach. We open our heartsin love and harden them in rejection.302

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKOur nervous system is electrical and chakras aretransformers. They balance flow volume (analogous toamperes) with pressure (analogous to voltage).Energy moves upward through the body. Each chakramodifies the energy, expresses it and passes it on to thenext one. If more energy passes through a chakra than itcan cope with, it is discharged in self-protection.Tantrikas pay attention to the condition of their chakrasand are interested in having them flow as freely aspossible. Allowing the energy of life as such to flow andexpress through one’s body makes one more available tobeing lived by existence.303

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLRoot chakraFelt more or less in the area of the PC (Kegel) muscles.Centred in the perineum.It opens and closes on the basis of survival.Pair bonding is felt most acutely at the root chakra. Wefind our reason for living in the other. We say we woulddie without them. Some of us die for love, some of uskill for it.When we have resistance in this chakra, it most usuallyhas to do with fears around survival which we havesuppressed. When it is seriously blocked or constricted,very little energy can build before the release of orgasmbecomes imperative.It can be a very minimal orgasm – a genital sneeze. Menalmost always notice it because it is usually ejaculatory.Women sometimes notice it as a momentary deep tremorand a sudden end to arousal.The root chakra is in its happiest condition when one’sfears of death have been faced and accepted.The root chakra is the generator, the engine room, of ourenergy system. When it runs strongly, it builds energythat reaches upward to the other chakras or finds wildand explosive release.To allow energy through your root chakra is to accept allyour feelings about your physical vulnerability and theinevitability of your death.304

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKBelly chakraLocated above the genitals, a couple of inches below thenavel.This chakra is noticed around tribal issues, particularlystatus-advancement and belonging.It can become constricted by a judgement of the lover’sinappropriateness and is obstructed by fears of damageto one’s reputation.It can be fuelled by striving to impress a lover, especiallywith the hope of making a strong impression, and beingquietly talked about. Rating one’s lovers, or one’s ownperformance as a lover, on a score chart of orgasmicintensity and frequency is typical of second-chakra sex.The belly chakra challenges us to claim our autonomy,to claim our individual path, free of tribal constraints.When we declare ourselves to be a ‘tribe of one’ and takepersonal responsibility for our own preferences, habits,secrets and beliefs, it opens.When it is open, lovemaking feels more co-operative andmore sharing than root chakra sex. Orgasms are lessdepleting, and much higher intensities of energy can beexperienced.Strong energies at this chakra can evoke satori of one’sdeep connection and empathy with all of existence.305

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLStomach chakraThis nerve cluster is known in the West as the solarplexus. It is the soft spot just below and slightly underthe sternum.It is the centre at which we feel aesthetic issues:beauty and ugliness, wonder and horror, attraction andrevulsion.It opens or closes depending on the aesthetic judgementswe make about our own body, the lover’s body, the lover’sartistry, eloquence, elegance, refined taste in decor, thestory of the lovemaking occasion and the clothing andfashion accessories involved.When energy is obstructed at this third chakra, sex maybe motivated by need or compulsion, but not by delight.The challenge of the stomach chakra is to expand one’srange of aesthetic appreciation. Breaking the confinesof culturally defined aesthetics and looking deeper forbeauty itself is recommended.When orgasmic energies reach to the stomach, feelingsof fondness and an urge to deep intimacy arise. Satorirevealing the intrinsic beauty of existence can occur.306

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKHeart chakraIn the centre of the chest.The heart is the centre at which we feel love. Love thatis undisturbed by a fart (aesthetic), forgetting a birthday(tribal) or risk (survival). Love that is direct, honest, realand, in full expression, unconditional.When the heart chakra is closed, life is felt to lack rasa(juiciness). It hurts when energy reaches it.The heart chakra challenges us to accept the hurts oflife without reservation. It is the gateway to bliss, thesynthesis of existential agony and ecstasy.When the energy of life flows through the heart,unobstructed by our aesthetic, tribal or survival concerns,we become capable of truly loving and being loved.307

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLChakras above the heartWhen strong energy reaches the heart, it fuels the higherchakras. They are not usually obstructed because verylittle energy has ever reached them from below.Until energy reaches them from below, they are suppliedwith and express the far less substantial energy generatedby the surface level of mind: the ego.When substantial energy reaches them they open quitenaturally and become the flowering of a fully-humanbeing.308

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKThroat chakraThe throat expresses through word, song and sound.When powered by the brain, it may exhibit skill, evenmasterful skill, but a contrived, trained quality is usuallyapparent.When energy reaches it from the heart, the expressionis authentic.309

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLThird eyeLocated at the bindi spot on the forehead between theeyes.Running on its own energy, it is a focus of concentrationand a source of imagination.When the energy of life flows up and through it, it enablesunusual degrees of perception.310

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKCrown chakraThe crown chakra is almost outside the body at the topof the head.It connects us to existence-as-consciousness, commonlycalled God.Usually in the second year of life the fontanelle closes.This physical change is concurrent with the start of ourego development and individuation.Becoming clear enough so that energy can reach thecrown is the most a tantrika can do. It is the nearest wecan come to the condition called divine by what seems tobe our own effort.When our energy flows unobstructed to the crown, webecome available to being lived by existence itself.311

ADVAIT TANTRA SCHOOLKundaliniKundalini energy is also known as the shakes and thetremors. Its name refers to the kund (a vessel or yoni),from which the English word ‘cunt’ derives. It refers toenergy which originates in the bowl, the vessel, of ourhips and sacrum.As we clear the obstacles of our ego and learn to openour chakras, the current of energy in our body gainsmomentum and increases. This brings greater pressureto bear on any obstructions that remain.A partially blocked pipe, or one too narrow for thepressure applied to it, will often develop an alarmingvibration, creaking, groaning or shuddering when a tapis opened.Almost-open chakras can create severe turbulence in theflow of strong energy through the nerves of the body.This can feel like electric shocks in the lower spineand manifest as a physical shaking that is difficult orimpossible to control.It seldom lasts long or does any damage. The quickestway to move through it is to allow the shaking to happenwithout restriction.When all the chakras are unrestricted, the flow of energymoves towards the spine. A second shaking phase takesplace as the energy settles into the spinal channel, whichis called the shushumna or column of light in sometraditions. This phase of shaking is less startling, lessphysically severe and has a smoother, more regularfrequency.Afterward, energy is no longer cultivated at the rootchakra but flows smoothly through the spinal channel.312

THE ROCKY HORROR TANTRA BOOKEnergy from this channel can be drawn to and thenexpressed from any chakra.The ability to access and use this core energy is more orless a defining characteristic of a dakini or an enlightenedperson.End of Swami’s notes.313

Thanks andacknowledgementsCarl Sagan once said that to make apple pie from scratch, onewould first have to create the entire universe.I thank the whole of existence for making this book possible, andfor the wonderful people who have been involved, especially:Dakinis of the Advait Tantra School: Crystal, Shakti, Shekina,Shima and Wendy, who requested its creation and endured manyrough drafts of the early work.My daughter Alia, who contributed an example of her mindprocessingwork to the book and a lot of artwork, almost none ofwhich was eventually used.The forty or so people who read the book in the rough andprovided many good suggestions and much encouragement.Richard O’Brien and everyone involved in the production of anyRocky Horror Show or screening of the movie. You have kept alight of awareness going for many who might otherwise have losttheir way.

Rocky Horror TantraonlineVisit www.rockyhorrortantra.com to find discussions about thebook, the audio book and ongoing additions to Swami’s Notes.

The Advait Tantra SchoolThe Advait Tantra School was founded by Rahasya and his firststudents in 2002.Based in South Africa, half-way between Europe and India bythe old trade routes, teachers of the school have travelled widelyeastward and westward, making the deepest experiential lessonsof Tantra available to many.The teaching modalities of the school include individual sessions,group work, intensive residential retreats and tantric practitionertraining.Other projects of the school include the highly acclaimed tantricworkbook Sexual Awakening for Women by Dakini Shakti MariMalan and Dakini Shima’s film project, Lalla the Buddha.Further information can be found at the school’s website:www.advaittantra.com

Sexual Awakening forWomenDakini Shakti Mari Malan, who holds a doctorate in anthropology,has written and produced a truly exceptional book. It is a deep andthorough experiential guide for women on or wanting to benefitfrom the lessons of the tantric path.Available from bookshops, amazon.com and shakti.co.za.