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the new family | MumtiplesTaming aheadstrong Duoby Mariam Hassan & Familymother, baby & child october 201360When it comes to parenting styles,I must admit that I read a lot ofadvice on the internet and oftenthe recommended techniquesseem to contradict each other:time-out, total-love-and-care,laissez-faire, authoritativedisciplining, you name it! Goneare the days when moms and dadswould just follow their naturalinstincts, seek guidance from theirown parents once in a while andgenerally just hope for the best.Personally, however, I feel that findingthe right parenting approach withtwins, especially if they are your firstborns,is quite different from singletons.Being blessed with twins or more could belikened to starting your education in highschool straight-away rather than completingprimary school first. Patience is a virtue whenyour toddler throws a public tantrum,so just imagine what it takes to dealwith two. What I have learned frommy strong-willed twosome, however,is that their behavior reflects my own,meaning that they are more likely to becooperative, when I manage to keep myown stresses under control. After havingtried a number of disciplining toolsthat often resulted in power struggles,I have decided to adopt an approachthat focuses on cooperation instead.Yes, you must make sure that roles areclear and your children know that you,the parent, are in control. But givingthem choices generally helps. Facedwith the options of either cleaningtheir room or not being read a bedtimestory, my twins choose the story everytime. On another note, it helps to havetime –two headstrong little architects oftrouble are more likely to execute theirmischievous plans if left unattendedrather than if you make time for them- time to run at the beach, time to actdress up and act silly on Halloween,time to talk and time to listen.At the end of every day, once the twinsare snuggled up and sleeping soundlyin their beds, I am overwhelmedwith happiness, if we managed toget through the day without majortantrums, and as I tenderly place myhands on their little hearts at night, Ilove them more than ever! And really,that is all that matters!