VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY

Friday, 6 April 2007Volume 59, Number 23www.lawweekly.orgINSIDEPILA Celebrates Silver Anniversary.................................................... 2Dan Promotes Neighborhood Trust.................................................... 4Tempers Rise in Global Warming Debate........................................... 5Mel the 3L/Faculty Quotes................................................................ 8VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYTran ReceivesRosenbloomAwardAlec Zadek ’08News EditorOn the recommendation of hispeers and professors, third-yearlaw student Khang Tran has beennamed the 2007 RosenbloomAward recipient. The Award wasestablished in 1991 by DanielRosenbloom, a member of theClass of 1954 and a Trustee ofthe University of Virginia LawSchool Foundation, to recognizean academically strong thirdyearstudent who, by voluntarilyproviding support and assistanceto other law students, hassignificantly enhanced their academicexperience. Each spring,students and faculty are invitedto nominate third-year studentsfor this award and to providesupporting letters.As in the past there were anumber of nominations, accompaniedby impressive testimonialsto the generosity of our studentseven in the competitiveenvironment of law school.One of the reasons Tran choseto attend UVA Law was because► ROSENBLOOM page 2BLSA NamedNationalChapter ofthe YearThe Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948UVA softball players pose on the field before their championship run.photo courtesy of Mike Smith ’07Men’s Gold Triumphs in Softball InvitationalChris Tucker ’08Editor-in-ChiefClear skies were a welcome sightfor all involved with last weekend’s24th Annual Virginia Law SoftballInvitational. For the first time sinceany of us arrived at UVA Law, allscheduled games were able to beplayed, and thanks in part to thegood weather, the NGSL was able toput on another great Invitational.Law Schools from around thecountry came to compete againsttheir peers, from as far south asFlorida and as far north as Boston.In all, there were sixty-fourteams in the Co-Rec division andforty-eight teams in the Regulardivision.UVA Law is an annual powerhouse,traditionally overpoweringand outmatching its opponents onthe fields.“Charlottesville is the Williamsportof law school softball. Teamsfrom all over the nation come toCharlottesville with the goal ofbeating UVA at our own game andtaking home the championshiptrophy,” said NGSL CommissionerMatt Watson. “Unfortunately forthem, the inordinate amount ofsoftball we play during the regularseason makes us a tough groupto beat.”This year, many other lawschools stepped up to the plate,providing a fierce level of competitionrarely seen in past years atCopeley Field.“The level of softball seemedhigher than in years past,” saidTournament Co-Director JohnBates. “Several teams [in this year’stournament] dedicated themselvesyear round to practicing and playing.This raised the bar for everyoneinvolved and made the playoffsvery exciting.”► SOFTBALL page 3around northgroundsCongratulations tothe UVA Men’s Goldteam for winning thetournament for thefourth year in a row!It’s too bad softball dominance isnot a criterion in U.S. News andWorld Report’s rankings.Thumbs up to the tournamentco-directors,the head field marshals,and everyoneelse who helped make this year’stournament such a resoundingsuccess. To ANG, who finds thelogistics of making Easy-Mac tobe virtually insurmountable, howyou did this is simply baffling.Thumbs down to UChicago for skippingtheir 7 a.m. game onSaturday and claimingthat they were still in Chicago,even though they had checkedin at Wild Wings on Friday night,and for then bringing glass beerbottles onto the field with themat their next game. That specialblend of disrespect, arrogance,and deception have been patentedby ANG, thank you very much.Thumbs up to theunderdressed undergradsjoggingaround C’ville in thewarm spring weather. The fiveseconds of pleasure ANG getsfrom gawking at you morethan makes up for the fivefender benders ANG’s gotteninto since March began.Law Weekly StaffAt the 39th Annual NBLSAConvention, the UVA chapterwas selected as the NBLSAChapter of the Year. The NationalBlack Law Students Association(NBLSA) is the largeststudent-run organization in thecountry, with over 6,000 members.UVA competed against 200other chapters, and received theaward based upon their commitmentto community service,academic support, and otherprograms.Frankie Jones, UVA BLSA president,attributed the success ofthe chapter to the dedication ofits members and their ability toorganize numerous events eachsemester.“Winning National BLSAChapter of the Year award isa fitting way to end an excellentyear. This year our chaptercontinued the tradition withour flagship programs—ourwelcome reception with professors,exam review sessions, D.C.Road Show, and Minority LawDay—and began some new traditionsas well—Atlanta Road► BLSA page 2Josephine Liu ’08Managing EditorMadden, Scott Win Lile Moot Court TitleFour of the Law School’s mostaccomplished advocates facedoff last Saturday in the FinalRound of the 78th Annual LileMoot Court Competition, withthe team of Matthew Maddenand Michael Scott emerging victoriousover fellow third-yearsMagdalena Grossman and ChristopherD. Jackson. Their appellatebriefs and oral argumentswere evaluated by three distinguishedjudges from the U.S.Court of Appeals for the D.C.Circuit: Chief Judge DouglasH. Ginsburg, Judge Thomas B.Griffith ’85, and Judge Brett M.Kavanaugh.Chief Judge Ginsburg praisedall four competitors for doing a“terrific job, in all respects.”Judge Kavanaugh added, “Weread a lot of briefs and hear a lotof arguments. This was at thevery highest level.”Speaking as a UVA Law alumnus,Judge Griffith told the students,“I couldn’t be more proudof the performance of each oneof you.”The problem for the FinalRound focused on the federalcriminal sentencing enhancementsin 18 U.S.C. § 924. Therephoto by Josephine Liu ’08Third-years Matthew Madden and Michael Scott before Saturday’soral arguments, displaying the poise that helped them win this year’sLile Moot Court Competition.were two primary questions inthe fictional case of United Statesv. Hess: whether felony drunkdriving counts as a violent felony,and whether accepting guns► MOOT COURT page 2A big thumbs downto the 1L who told hisor her LR&W professorthat his or her oralargument opponent should failthe class because his or her briefwas poorly written. God has officehours tomorrow; ANG’s conversationwith Him will be prettymuch the same.But, thumbs up tothe 1L who got heldin mock contempt ofcourt during his or heroral argument. ANG has 3-1 oddson you being the same 1L whotried to get his or her opponentfailed.Thumbs down to theanomalously and inexplicablycold SL 262.The sound of fingerstyping is bad enough, but thechattering teeth are too much forANG to take.Thumbs down tooverzealous Dardenstudents who takeLaw School courses.You make our gunners look likewater-pistol-ers.

2 News & FeaturesVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 6 April 2007► ROSENBLOOMcontinued from page 1PILA Prepares to Celebrate 25-Year MilestoneGenerosity and HelpfulnessMerit Law School Awardof the level of collegiality betweenthe students at UVA Law.For the same reason that Tranchose UVA Law School, he hasbeen singled out as an exceptionalstudent.Tran expressed how honoredphoto courtesy of Khang Tran ’07Khang Tran’s friendly demeanorearns him the respect of his peers.he was to receive the RosenbloomAward.“The criteria for the RosenbloomAward are those that Isee in my classmates around theLaw School everyday. It’s whatmakes this school a truly specialplace. I am deeply humbled andhonored to receive the Award.”Tran’s respect, consideration,and desire to help his peers wereevident from the letters that studentswrote to support his nomination.One student wrote that,“On countless occasions, Khangtook the time to help me understandconcepts that eluded me.I once missed a class to travelacross the country on a callbackinterview. When I openedmy email box at the hotel torequest class notes from fellowstudents, I was pleasantly surprisedto find that Khang hadalready thought to send me hisnotes”.Others mentioned that Tranwould take time away from hisown studying to teach them partof a subject that they were havinga particularly difficult timeunderstanding, even thoughthey competed with him forgrades.Dean Ballenger spoke highlyof Tran, recognizing his accomplishmentsin light of thesignificance of the RosenbloomAward.“The Rosenbloom Award isone of the very special awardsgiven to UVA Law students, becauseit recognizes and honorsthe special characteristics ofcollegiality and cooperationthat are truly the hallmarks ofthis school.”After graduation, Tran willclerk for Judge Robert G. Mayerof the U.S. Bankruptcy Court forthe Eastern District of Virginia.Seth Brostoff ’09Features EditorThe Public Interest Law Associationis poised to celebrate its25th anniversary next week ina series of exciting events andlectures. The milestone date alsobrings into focus PILA’s progressin bringing public interest lawopportunities to thousands ofUVA Law students since 1981.The now entirely studentrunorganization began as theStudent-Funded Fellowships(“SFF”) under the auspices ofthe SBA. By today’s standards,the SFF had a small impact: inthe summer of 1982, six studentsreceived fellowships to do publicinterest work. But the scopewas ambitious from the start.The first fellowships were givento students working for the localLegal Aid affiliate, an AmericanIndian policy group, and a humanrights organization basedin Geneva, Switzerland, amongothers.Since 1982, PILA has disbursedover $1 million to students. Thisyear, the organization was ableto offer funding to every studentwho applied. Second-year KatieSchleeter, the incoming PILApresident, credits this impressiverecord to an “exceptionallygenerous student body,” whichin turn supports their fellowstudents’ efforts to give back tothe community using their legalskills.Today, many UVA Law studentsassociate PILA with the annualauction, held in November,which dates back to the organization’sformative period; thefirst benefit auction was held in1990. In 1997, the subcommitteewas renamed the Public InterestLaw Association. Along with thisreorganization, PILA broadenedits focus from solely fundraisingfor summer fellowships to generalsupport for students’ publicinterest activities. The groupnow fulfills the role of generaladvocate for students exploringopportunities in the public sector.In 1996, PILA teamed up withthe Law School Foundation tocreate a matching fundraisingprogram, so that every dollarcontributed to PILA is matchedwith a dollar from the Foundation.Third-year Emily Zackrison,PILA Membership Director,explains that this partnershiphas redefined PILA.“It’s not just student fundedanymore. It’s half-student, halflawschool funded,” she saidThe Student-Funded Fellowshipshad been a subcommitteeof the SBA in the early ’80s. Thesubcommittee included threestudents, a dean, and a professor.The founder, Kevin Doyle’81, was a natural advocate forpublic interest law opportunities.He spent his summers in lawschool working for the generalcounsel of the NAACP and nowworks in New York defendingpersons facing capital murdercharges. Professor Thomas Berginand Assistant Dean ElizabethLowe were also early supporters.But with the organization’sseparation from the SBA, a newboard structure was created. Theorganization is now entirely student-run.Schleeter says that the 26thyear will be as ambitious as theprevious quarter century. Already,she has outlined PILA’sstrategy to work more closelywith the Peer Advising Program,as well as establishing standingcommittees to address publicinterest admissions issues andto strengthen public interestawareness.“We hope to work even harderin the upcoming years to providesocial and networking opportunitiesfor students interested inpublic interest law,” she added.Early next week, however, PILAand its 1L section representativeswill focus mostly on the organization’sAnniversary Celebrationplanned for Monday, April 9. Twospeakers, James Hingeley, a lecturerat the Law School and thefounder and chief of the CharlottesvillePublic Defender’s Office,and Neil V. Getnick, of Getnick &Getnick, will share thoughts andpersonal experiences from theirdistinguished legal careers in thepublic interest arena.Of course, for the more self-interested,Zackrison adds, “Therewill be free food, wine and beer,as well as cake from AlbemarleBaking Company.”The lecture and reception thatfollows begin at 4:30 p.m. in CaplinPavilion.VirginiaLaw WeeklyCOLOPHONChris TuckerEditor-in-ChiefAndrew ChristensenMichael SeeligsonExecutive EditorProduction EditorJosephine LiuManaging EditorDan BalserakColumns EditorMike LecarozBusiness EditorSamson HabteAssociate News EditorMichael WarnerAssociate Columns EditorCraig SmithAssociate Reviews EditorColumnists:Reviewer:Alec ZadekNews EditorRyan DoughertyReviews EditorSeth BrostoffFeatures EditorJohn SheehanWeb EditorAllison MuthAssociate Production EditorTim McCartenAssociate Features EditorLauren RogoffAssociate Photography EditorPublished weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving theLaw School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is notan official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University.Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia LawWeekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is alsorequired for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration.Virginia Law Weekly580 Massie RoadUniversity of Virginia School of LawCharlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789Ulrick Casseus, Kurt Davis, Annie Kaldor, Jerry Parker,Stephanie Weitzner, Stephanie WrightJulian André, Aaron KleinmanPhone: 434.924.3070Fax: 434.924.7536editor@lawweekly.orgwww.lawweekly.orgEDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the LawSchool and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s)and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bearthe name, signature, and title of the person authorizing the submission. All letters and columns musteither be submitted in hardcopy bearing a handwritten signature along with an electronic version, orbe mailed from the author’s e-mail account. Submissions must be received by 5 p.m. the Monday beforepublication and must be in accordance with the submission guidelines. Letters over 500 words and columnsover 700 words may not be accepted. The Editorial Board reserves the right to edit all submissionsfor length, grammar, and clarity. Although every effort is made to publish all materials meeting ourguidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.► MOOT COURTcontinued from page 1Lile Finalists Take Queries, Compliments from Benchas payment in a drugs-for-gunstransaction constitutes use of afirearm during a drug traffickingcrime.At Saturday’s oral argument,Grossman and Jackson had 30minutes to present their argumentson behalf of the UnitedStates. Madden and Scott thenhad an equal amount of time toargue for the defendant.Jackson, the first to take thelectern, quickly showed why hewas honored with the StephenPierre Traynor Award for bestoralist in the Final Round.His secret? “A lot of work anda lot of mooting with other people.[Magdalena and I] had atleast four practice sessions, bothbetween the two of us and withother students.”Grossman, the next advocate,was only one sentence into herargument when Judge Griffithinterrupted her with a question.The bench was “hot” for most ofthe afternoon and asked manyprobing questions.“No matter how much youprepare and try to predict what► BLSAcontinued from page 1Show, exam-taking workshops,and mentor-mentee cookout. Everyoneworked extremely hardand . . . this recognition is welldeserved.”At the National Convention,second-year L. Jared Boyd waselected to the position of NationalAttorney General, whichquestions the judges will ask,there [will] always be questionsthat you . . . never expect,” saidGrossman. “[The judges] werewell prepared and . . . asked challengingquestions.”“They definitely knew our argumentsand briefs backwardand forward,” said Scott.Scott, the first to argue for thedefendant, surprised the audiencewhen he finished his oralargument three minutes early.“I talked to the judges laterand they said that it was theright thing to do,” Scott said afterward.“I had made all of myaffirmative arguments, the panelhad said that it had no morequestions, and there [was] nosense in speaking for the sake oftaking up time.”The issue that Scott argued,whether a drugs-for-guns exchangeconstitutes use of a firearmin a drug crime, has just beenaccepted on certiorari by the U.S.Supreme Court. Participants inUVA Law’s Supreme Court Clinic,including Madden, helped preparethe legal arguments for theis responsible for coordinatingNBLSA’s legal and political advocacy.Boyd expressed his excitementat becoming NBLSA’sAttorney General, and expressedhis plans for the upcoming year.“I am incredibly excited aboutthe opportunity to serve andcontinue the strong UVA tradi-petitioner in that case.“To keep my Clinic work separateand make sure things werefair for all the participants, Mikedid all the research, drafting,and oral argument for the issuethe Clinic was working on,” Maddensaid.Madden complimented theMoot Court coordinators for comingup with a balanced problem.“The judges raved about thedesign of the problem. JeremyGraves and Colby Slaughter deservea lot of credit for findingtwo unanswered questions of lawwithin the same criminal statute.”Jackson has no regrets about thetime he spent on Moot Court.“Moot Court was by far themost helpful [extracurricular]activity I’ve done in law school,”he said. “For anyone interestedin appellate litigation, it’s an invaluableexperience.”Grossman echoed Jackson’ssentiments.“It is really a fantastic learningexperience, no matter how faryou make it in the process.”Boyd Elected National BLSA Attorney Generaltion of leadership in the NationalBlack Law Students Association.I would like to see NBLSAweigh in more frequently oncritical legal issues affecting theAfrican-American communitythrough amicus briefs, articles,and other forms of legal scholarship.”

Friday, 6 April 2007Jerry Parker ’08SBA Vice PresidentAfter a long and occasionally dismalwinter (which included a particularlyuninspired NCAA tournamentperformance from the Virginia men’sbasketball team), spring has finallyarrived here in Charlottesville. Birdsare singing, trees are blooming, andthe patio at Buddhist is once againfilled with floppy-haired, pastelwearingundergrads with collars alla-pop. Who doesn’t love this time ofyear? Of course, at the Law School,spring means buckling down, puttingthe finishing touches on outlines, andreviewing all those reading notesfrom the first three months of thesemester . . . (just kidding—springaround here means fun. Do you thinkwe go to Harvard or something?).Here is just the smallest sampling ofsome recent goings-on:This past weekend marked the24th Annual UVA Law Softball Invitationaltournament, which wasa rousing success. The rain held offfor the first time in recent memory,allowing a full slate of 250 games tobe played. UVA teams had great successas usual: our Men’s Gold teamwon the whole enchilada, squeakingout a one-run nail-biter in extra inningsover an unexpectedly scrappyRegent Law squad. Acting like they’dbeen there, the UVA nine (well, ten,actually) celebrated with a subduedcheer and a shirtless team photo.► SOFTBALLcontinued from page 1SBA Notebook:Springtime in C’villeHead Commissioner Matt Watsonhas agreed to autograph 8x10 glossies,which will be available for thebargain price of $2 or one proteinshake apiece.On the Co-Rec side, UVA’s Goldteam lost a semifinal heartbreaker toa Maryland team that recruited formerminor-leaguers for the occasion.Pam Wells submitted the play of thegame, taking the relay from left fieldand laying down a Carlton Fisk-liketag on a Maryland player who lookedlike he spends his free time playinginside linebacker for the BaltimoreRavens. Maryland eventually lostin the final to an enormous FloridaCoastal Law team. It’s good to knowthat all those former East Germantrainers are keeping busy.More importantly, though, thetournament raised over $20,000 forlocal charities, including a $17,500donation to Children, Youth, andFamily Services of Charlottesville.Congrats and thanks to tournamentdirectors John Bates and Kelli Scheidon a terrific event, as well as to thehead field marshals, who made surethat everything ran smoothly.In other news, the SBA has a wholenew slate of committee heads for the2007-2008 academic year: NatalieShonka and Becca Vallas will head upthe Academic Concerns Committee.Amy Reed will be making sure we continueto attract the best students fromaround the country as chair of the AdmissionsCommittee. Heath Roettig,VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Student Life 3Kendra Paul, and Miles Sasser will beplanning an amazing Barristers’ Ballfor next year. Felix Yeung is the newchair of the Career Services Committee,continuing to improve OGIsfor all you rising 2Ls. Lipi Patel is thenew Diversity Committee chair, andAshley Shields will be making sureour student groups get every pennythey can from the University as thechair of the Fundraising committee.Jenny Byrd and Kristen McElligottare the new co-chairs of the GraduationCommittee, and I know they’realready making fantastic plans for 3Lclass events next year. Ryan Quillianand Frank Saviano will be expandingtheir roles as current FYC VPs, takingcare of next year’s fun as ProgrammingCommittee co-chairs. AllisonBarra is our new Public Service Committeechair, and Christine Bestorwill be planning great staff appreciationevents as chair of the, um, StaffAppreciation Committee. Megan Callahanwill make sure alums continueto love us (and give us money) as theStudent-Alumni Relations chair, andLauren Aronson will make sure thatprofessors continue to not hate usas the Student-Faculty CommitteeChair. The unparalleled Jackie Wilsonwill be at the wheel of the YearbookCommittee for another gloriousyear, and finally Mike Akavan willkeep improving the SBA website asour Website Committee chair.Congratulations to all, and manythanks in advance!Thank you to everyone who appliedto be a part of the Peer Advisorprogram for the upcomingyear! We received a record highnumber of 208 applications.Interviews continue throughtomorrow, April 7. We’ve greatlyenjoyed meeting all the applicantsthus far and look forwardto the interviews that remain.These past few weeks have remindedus how accomplished thestudents at Virginia Law are andhow dedicated our classmatesare to the Law School. We wishwe could expand the program toinclude every deserving applicant,but we are unfortunatelylimited to accepting 84 people.We will announce decisionsvia personal letters in applicants’Scott Commons mailboxes on Friday,April 13. While we hope thateveryone who is selected for theprogram will be excited abouttheir upcoming Peer Advisorduties, we also hope that thoseselected will be discreet in theirenthusiasm out of respect fortheir classmates who we wouldlove to have in the program butare unable to accept due to spaceconstraints.Remaining questions can bedirected to us via email. Thanksagain to everyone who appliedto be a Peer Advisor; we thinkthe high number of applicationsspeaks volumes about the qualityof the Virginia Law experienceand the quality of the studentswho attend Virginia Law.Peer AdvisorAnnouncementsAnnie Kaldor ’08 and Stephanie Wright ’08Peer Advisor Co-Directorsabk5p@virginia.eduslw2t@virginia.eduNational Softball Invitational Raises Record Amount for Children, Youth & Family ServicesFor the first time in the history ofthe Co-Rec division, a UVA team didnot advance to the finals. The increasedlevel of competition in theCo-Rec division may be attributedto the dominance of UVA in theRegular division, which has pressuredmany law schools into placingtheir best players in the Co-Recleague in an attempt to compete inat least part of the tournament.The UVA Blue Co-Rec team fellearly in the elimination rounds onSunday to Penn State, leaving theSeveral teamsdedicated themselvesyear roundto practicing andplaying. Thisraised the barfor everyone involvedand madethe playoffs veryexciting.- John Bates ’07Orange and Gold teams to fight forthe Co-Rec title. In the quarterfinals,Co-Rec Orange fell to AppalachianState, which was rumored tohave constructed its own bats froman old iron mine outside of its lawschool. This left Co-Rec Gold, a superstarteam comprised of the finestlegal minds and laser rocket arms,to fend off the competition. But,unfortunately for the home-townfavorites, the Terrapins of Marylandwon a shocker in the semifinals,scoring eight runs in the finalinning to knock UVA out of the Co-Rec division. The Terps would losein the finals to Florida Coastal, whoboasted a 54-0 victory in an earlierround and proved that their monstrousvictories in pod-play werewell earned.“The Co-Rec Gold Team suffereda heartbreaking loss to Marylandin the Final Four, but we played extraordinaryball the entire weekendand can’t be disappointed with ourefforts,” said Co-Rec Gold co-captainPam Wells. “More importantly,we had an incredible amount of funas a team and I know I’ll look backon the weekend as one of my fondestlaw school memories.”The Regular Division came downto the wire as Regent Law School’steam lost a close contest to theUVA Gold team. This year was RegentLaw School’s first year in thetournament, and they made theirpresence known early by scoringsix runs in the final inning of theelimination game to narrowly defeatthe UVA Men’s Blue team. TheGold team would not succumb tothe same fate. During an extra inningrally Regent Law looked as ifit would snatch victory away fromUVA Gold, but Matt Watson, a seasonedveteran of the softball fieldsand three year participant in thetournament, put an end to Regent’sdreams. He made what spectatorswould later refer to as a “miraculous”out at first base, holding theball in his mitt after being pummeledby a wayward base runner,which could have easily knocked alesser man unconscious.“We played great defensethroughout the entire tournamentand generated just enough offenseto squeak by Regent in the final,”said Men’s Gold co-captain DanCohen. “It was a great game and itwas great seeing so many membersof the Law School community at thegames to cheer us on.”Though this year proved to bemore competitive than years past,UVA Law still boasts the best Men’ssoftball team in the nation, and oneof the best Co-Rec teams.While all of the fanfare of thetournament is an exciting additionto the UVA Law tradition, the LawSchool should be most proud of theNorth Grounds Softball League forits charitable contributions.“Most importantly, [the tournament]allows us to make a differencein the Charlottesville communitythrough our donation toChildren, Youth & Family Services,”said tournament Co-Director KelliScheid. “This year we were ableto contribute a record amount of$17,500.”The $17,500 was in addition tothe $3,000 that the NGSL was ableto raise for PILA.“The tournament directors, JohnBates and Kelli Scheid, deserve aton of credit for the efforts,” saidNGSL Commissioner Watson. “Theyincreased the tournament sponsorshipand cut costs to the point thatwe were able to increase our donationto CYFS by 75 percent over lastyear, yielding the greatest donationwe’ve ever given.”The tournament directors, however,did not want to take all of thecredit for this year’s success.“The tournament’s success isdue entirely to the hard work ofthe many volunteers,” said Bates.photo courtesy of Pam Wells ’07Bottom Left: UVA softball players Steve Glasgow ’07, Kelly Scheid ’07, Alexis Rieger ’07, and Pam Wells ’07present the ceremonial check to Children, Youth & Family Services.Top Left: Jen Axtell ’08 readies for the pitch, hitting for Co-Rec Gold.Right: Co-Rec Gold Team from left to right: Cord Hall ’08, Scott Border ’07, Ryan Quillian ’09, Matt Pinkham ’07,Matt Neil ’07, Dave Tejtel ’07, Kyle Schindler ’08, Jen Axtell ’08, Sarah Whitlock ’08, Pam Wells ’07, Kelli Scheid’07, Debbie Kaplan ’07 lost a heartbreaking game to the Terrapins in the semifinals of Saturday’s tournament.“Thank you to everyone who helpedmake it possible, including the fieldmarshals, the committee members,and the captains and participants.We also owe a special thank youto the ladies of the Field MarshalCommittee who spent 18 hours perday coordinating the every moveof 1,200 law students and over 100teams.”“Every NGSL commissioner andnumerous volunteers played a vitalrole in [the Invitational’s] execution,”said Scheid.Additionally, those involved saidthat the tournament would nothave been the same if it wasn’t forthe huge attendence of UVA Lawstudents.“We are very thankful for all theUVA fans that came out during thecourse of the weekend to cheer,”said Wells. “We sincerely appreciatedthe loud and rowdy support!”

4 Columns & FeaturesVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 6 April 2007A Teachable MomentThree weeks ago, the LawWeekly published an article Iwrote about the sacrifices I madeUlrick Casseus '07Senior Columnistfor Lent. A pictureof a huge bucketof fried chickenwas placed in themiddle of the article, which wasextremely offensive to me andmany others who saw the paper.It has come to my attention thatmany students do not understandwhat the big deal is over a bucketof fried chicken. Considering thisis something I think my fellowclassmates need to understand,I feel that an explanation of whythe bucket of fried chicken is offensiveand the context of the situation,as well as some advice formoving forward, would be greatlybeneficial to all at UVA Law.The HistorySimply put, fried chicken issomething that should not be associatedwith African Americans,along the same lines as watermelon,a natural ability to danceor play sports exceptionally well,and being remarkably cleanand articulate. Without historicalcontext, the aforementionedseem to be rather harmless. Howeverwhen one takes into accountthe history of the phrase or idea,one can better understand whypeople get offended.In the 1830s, Caucasian maleswould don blackface and performin minstrel shows that parodiedAfrican-American life. Friedchicken and watermelon were twothings commonly used to mockAfrican Americans. Songs such as“Gonna Eat Ma Chicken ’Til I’mFried” were sung in the minstrelshows. Those negative imageshave been consistently revisitedthroughout history to humiliateAfrican Americans. In the 1880s,cartoonists drew animalistic caricaturesof African Americans—huge ears and lips, chimpanzeelikehands and feet, with slopedforeheads—ravenously tearingthrough fried chicken. In the racistfilm Birth of a Nation, AfricanAmericans in the state legislaturewere shown barefoot, jumpingaround, drinking whiskey, andeating fried chicken as they triedto pass interracial marriage statutes.The “civilized” Caucasiansin the legislature looked on inhorror, fearing for the safety oftheir daughters. In modern times,linking fried chicken with AfricanAmericans commonly invokesthese disparaging images in theminds of many.Although history clearly showsthat fried chicken has been commonlyused as a means to ridiculeAfrican Americans, the reactionto this stereotype varies. SomeAfrican Americans are not offended,some recognize the historybut are indifferent, and somerefuse to eat fried chicken andwatermelon around Caucasiansbecause they do not want to perpetuatethe stereotype. It is importantto note that just becausean African American or any memberof a group that is the targetof a racial or cultural stereotypeis not offended by the stereotypedoes not make the use of the stereotypeacceptable.The ContextI was informed that some studentsthought I supplied thegraphic, which made it okay.To clear up any confusion, thegraphic was not selected by me.It was selected by members of theLaw Weekly staff.The article itself was aboutmy sacrifices for Lent, not aboutfried chicken. True, there was abrief mention of eating chickentenders, but there was also a briefmention of cussing to my mom,using my laptop in class, andtalking to a priest—all of whichcould be represented with a picture.In addition, the picture wasof a bucket of fried chicken parts.Raising Cane’s does not sell itschicken in buckets and does notsell fried chicken legs, thighs,and wings; it sells chicken tenders.So for someone to recognizethis and take the time to superimposethe Cane’s logo on a bucketof fried chicken leads one to thinkthat they could’ve used less timeand energy on finding a suitablegraphic that was not offensive.Whether deserved or not, theUniversity of Virginia has a badreputation for racial intolerance.Some may say that it’s only aproblem on the undergraduatecampus, but people outside ofCharlottesville do not differentiatebetween the two. The problemsof Central Grounds are imputedto North Grounds. Whenprospective African-Americanstudents talk to me and otherAfrican-American law studentsabout coming to UVA Law, one ofthe first questions asked is, “Howare race relations here?” Our answerto that question can eithermake or break a student’s enrollment.My article was published duringthe first Admitted Students'Weekend. Imagine an African-American student that is skepticalabout UVA Law’s race relationspicking up the Law School’s student-runnewspaper and seeinga big bucket of fried chicken nextto an African-American student’spicture under the title “Sacrificesfor Lent.” Then, if they decided toactually read the article, they’dbe even more disappointed to seethat the piece had nothing to dowith a bucket of fried chicken.Moving ForwardUnfortunately, not everyoneknows every phrase, idea, or imagethat groups of people findoffensive; consequently, a personmay mistakenly say or do somethingthat is racially or culturallyinsensitive and offend others. Ifout of ignorance you do offendsomeone, apologize and learn.Apologize not only because theperson or group of people mayhave been offended, but apologizefor making the mistake. Talkto that person or member of theoffended group, learn why whatyou did is offensive, and modifyyour future actions accordingly.If you want to learn more aboutracial or cultural stereotypes andwhy certain groups are offendedby those stereotypes, take ProfessorForde-Mazrui’s Race and Lawclass, Google “cultural stereotypes”or “critical race theory,” orsimply talk to a fellow classmate.The classmate does not have to bea minority, just someone who understandsracial and cultural stereotypesand the value of culturalsensitivity.In the end, not everyone will beoffended by every stereotype. Butit is imperative for all of us to recognizethe offensive nature of thestereotype and say, “While I personallyam not offended by this, Iunderstand that many people areand it is wrong.”Email: ugc9t@virginia.eduAn Open Letter to My Sex Offender NeighborsDear Guys Who Threatened toRape Me the Other Night,I’ve been thinking about whathappened, and as we are neighbors,I feel it would be appropriate andmutually beneficial to clear the air.Although you may have found theincident amusing—as opposed toarousing, since I assume the threatswere in jest—I on the other handwas a bit unnerved by the ordeal. Ihave never had anal sex before andwould certainly prefer that, if I everdid, it would not be by force. We’llbe living across the street from eachother for at least another month ortwo now, so I will do my utmost tobe sensitive and respectful to yourrights and interests, and I hope youwill do the same.In that vein, I thought you mightfind my thoughts on the matter instructive,me being a law studentand all. I took Crim Law—that’sshort for “criminal” (law)—over ayear ago now, but I’m fairly certainthat your actions, considered intheir totality and in light of the circumstances,constituted some formof assault, sexual or otherwise.Looking back on the sequence ofevents, I think you were probablyokay up until the part where youstarted bumping into me. The catcallsand solicitations from acrossthe street, however crude, werepretty obviously legal, and chasingafter me was probably also blamelessin the eyes of the law. But thenthe bumping, see, I think that couldbe assault—the bumping and thethreats of rape. In light of such commentsas “This kid looks like he hasa nice ass, let’s f*** him in it,” that’sprobably a criminal and/or tortoffense. Maybe “intentional inflictionof emotional distress,” but thatcould be hard to prove. For instance,I was slightly reassured during theincident to know that you guys arerugby players, because rugby players,invariably, are really into homoerotichumor, but not as ofteninto straight up guy-on-guy rape.Thus, my emotions weren’t quite asdistressed as they might have beenotherwise. (I hope my candor heremight serve as an olive branch anda building block for a sturdy houseof trust between us.) Just so youknow, though, a tortfeasor takesthe plaintiff as he finds him, as theysay—but then again, maybe you’vealready been doing that.Speaking of, I’m worried for youin the most sincere way that someoneyou sexually assaulted can be.Was this a one-time thing? Or haveyou been serially yell-chase-bumprape-threaten-ing?If the latter, Ifear that you are running a graverisk of either being arrested, maced,or maybe even stabbed or shot. AndI can only hope that you haven’tpulled your little stunt on any girls.I can look back on the incident andhave a good laugh, but a lot of peoplemight not find your neighborlyovertures so amusing. The three ofyou have all grown to be physicallyimposing young men on your rugbydiet of beer and small children, andif I were an Uggs-clad polo-popping90-pound sorority chick, Iwould have needed a clean thongto change into after that.Thanks, at least, for not actuallycarrying through. The situationwas tense enough that I fearedit might come to blows, by whichI mean that I thought I was morelikely than not to get curb-stomped,but your restraint and willingnessto walk away/stop following mewere laudable. I was pleasantly surprisedthat all it took to defuse theconfrontation was for me to pointout that you obviously weren’t actuallygoing to rape me. I guessthat sort of took the fun out of thewhole gag for you. However, if I’mever again physically assaulted andthreatened with rape, I cannot possiblyimagine that tactic workingtwice in a row, so I’ll have to thinkof something else.In closing, at the risk of beingpedantic—and trust me, the lastthing I want is to talk down or doanything else down to you—I justhope you realize that what you didwas not only rude and rather boorish,but also a crime. Please do notmisconstrue my attempts to find asilver lining in the incident as condoningor encouraging your behavior.I want you to enjoy your collegeyears, but not to do so in a way thatmakes me or any other passers-byfear that we are about to be heinouslyviolated. This will have theupside of drastically reducing yourchances of going to prison, which,given the shower scene there,would be as breathtakingly ironicas it would be unfortunate.I suppose that’s all for now. Iwould be happy to answer anyquestions or address any concernsthat this letter might have raised.Sincerely, your neighbor at 362,Dandeb7d@virginia.edu

Friday, 6 April 2007VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Global Issues 5UVA Hosts Heated Debate on Global WarmingSamson Habte ’09Associate News EditorIt was a punch that everybody sawcoming.Myron Ebell, a free-market lobbyistinvited to the Law School by theFederalist Society, opened the floor toquestions after a 45-minute presentationin which he questioned conventionalwisdom about global warmingand derided Al Gore and other environmentalcrusaders as “alarmists.”Third-year Josh Kaplowitz notedthat a recent report by a worldwidebody of scientists asserted, with 90percent certainty, that human activitywas to blame for climate change.Then, winding up, Kaplowitz said: “Ifeel I have to mention that your [thinktank] has received a considerableamount of money from the oil andgas industry, which … certainly colorswhat you’re saying.”And off came the gloves.The political environment aroundNorth Grounds doesn’t exactly evokeBerkeley in 1968, but the confrontationalFederalist Society event lastweek stood as evidence of the intensityof the pitched political debate surroundingclimate change.“I think those are fair questions,”replied Ebell, a mild-mannered andubiquitous media commentator whohas been dubbed a “Climate Criminal”by Greenpeace and is no doubtaccustomed to the question.“We have received money fromenergy companies and we hope to receivemore in the future,” he said.But he noted that his organization,the Competitive Enterprise Institute(CEI), has long advocated an antistatistresponse to global warming,even before companies like Exxon-Mobil began contributing millions totheir efforts.Ebell had until that point focusedhis presentation on policy questionsand economic analysis. He thenmoved to another phase of his wellpracticedargument: giving as goodas he gets.Ebell said that the environmentallobby’s assertions of planetary doomare more attributable to political opportunism,left-wing machinationsand feigned moral outrage than tohard science.“This is going to be the next waythe Left tries to shut down the economy,”said Ebell, who went on to tracethe origins of the “global warmingscare” to the decline of feminism andenvironmentalism in the late 1970s. “Iwould encourage you to look at theirmotives as well.”UVA Law Professor Jon Cannon offereda rebuttal to Ebell’s argumentduring the event, which had arousedsome controversy before it was evenheld. Some Federalist Society memberscried foul when Kaplowitz andothers plastered the Law School withsatirical flyers that essentially accusedCEI of being in the pocket of Big Oilinterests. The two sides retreated totheir bunkers and lobbed rhetoricalbombs in the form of letters to the editorin these pages.First-year Russel Henderson wrotethat the flyers were a tactic that reducedthe level of discourse to “cutratesmear” and asserted that “the scienceon [global warming] is far fromcertain.”The mannerly Federalist Societymembers who arranged the eventwere given a head’s up on the potentialfor a verbal brawl a day before.First-year law student and left-wingagitator Mike Stark turned up at thegroup’s office, freshly-printed flyers inhand, to notify members of his effortsto boost attendance at the event.But the boisterous throw-downthat Stark pined for didn’t exactlymaterialize. Some 30 students endedup at the Tuesday afternoon event.(Stark grumbled about lack of notice,telling the Law Weekly that theFederalist Society kept the date of therescheduled event quiet until shortlybefore it was slated. Federalist SocietyVice President Jeff Miller pointed outthat the event had been noted in twoSBA events emails, including one thatwent out a week prior.)But the students who did show upmade up for their depleted ranks withpassion. They skeptically challengedEbell with multiple-part questions andextended soliloquies with questionmarks tacked on the end—well-wornrhetorical tools for getting around thetough-to-enforce “be concise” rulesof formal symposia. Everybody had afollow-up.On March 27, Myron Ebell, asa guest of the Federalist Society,spoke to UVA Law students in hiscapacity as a professional globalwarming skeptic for the CompetitiveEnterprise Institute. I attendedthe event and listened patientlyas Mr. Ebell parried questions offact and policy that challenged hisviews. When I was afforded thechance to ask a question I said, “Ifeel like I just endured two hoursof a man lying in bed with my wifeasking me, ‘Who are you going tobelieve, me or your lying eyes?’I mean, coral reefs are dying off,heat waves are killing hundreds inEurope and warm-weather pestsare invading habitat in a hotterAlaska that they were never able tosurvive previously. Furthermore,ExxonMobil recently admitted thatthey spent over $16 million to propagandizeagainst the global warmingthreat, and your organizationwas one of the top recipients…”.The exchange continued, and atsome points during our exchange,some students openly laughed atEbell. That was a good thing, and itfortified my faith in my Law Schoolpeers.The truth is that each and everyone of us should question theFederalist Society’s judgment anddemand that they set higher standardsfor the guests they invite toThomas Jefferson’s University inthe future. Inviting a known propagandist– a purveyor of agendizedfictions – to our school should beuniversally condemned.Mr. Ebell began his discussionwith an explanation of how theglobal warming alarmist’s agendawould stand in the way of theworld’s poor obtaining electricity. Ididn’t hear what he said next, becausemy mind was immediatelyconsumed with visions of O.J.Simpson telling us that domesticviolence shelters are a bad idea becausethey don’t leave chocolateson the pillows.His presentation continued as arote recitation of the tripe globalwarming profitgandists generallyemploy. He cherry-picked science,highlighted irrelevant bookkeepingerrors in Al Gore’s movie, talked alot about uncertainty, and attemptedto sell the idea that 10,000 peerreviewed scientific and economicpapers are worthless—that weshouldn’t change a thing. He evenmade the startling assertion thatglobal warming is going to “greenthe planet”—that we will see anexplosion of biodiversity as CO 2combines with warmer temperaturesto create a really wonderfulgreenhouse effect!I hope I’ve demonstrated themendacity and rudderless moralityof this character, because the pointof this essay is that civility shouldnot always be UVA’s most treasuredvirtue. It is not necessary or desirableto lend liars and cheats thecredibility they require to ply theirignominious trade. Sometimeswe, as scholars and truth-seekers,should have the dignity and self-respectto call a snake oil salesman asnake oil salesman. We would notentertain David Duke and his despicableideas, so why should welower our expectations for globalwarming propagandists?So yes, sometimes incivility is demandedof polite society. When youare being lied to, and you know youare being lied to, and the person lyingto you knows that you know heis lying to you…well, at those times,basic human dignity demands thatyou, with appropriate restraint,stand up for the truth. Calling a liara liar is not uncivil—in fact, it’s theonly civilized thing to do.Mike Stark ’09In general, the debate centered onthe existence of warming (both sidesagree it’s happening); whether it wasa cause for concern (Cannon: Yes, itis. Ebell: Not so much); and whetherthe government should take action tocurb emissions (Cannon: Yes, initialsteps are prudent. Ebell: Only if youwant to bring the wheels of commerceto a grinding halt).First-year Scott Schwartz askedabout a voracious species of pinebeetle eating away vast swaths of Canadianforestland. Media accountscite geologists who say that warminghas lengthened the critters’ life spans,and that the resulting population explosionis one example of the damagethat carbon emissions are doing to differentecosystems.“Climate change has ecologicaleffects,” Ebell conceded matter-offactly.But he went on to question theassumption that nature is in somesort of permanent “balance,” notingthat long-holding temperature trendshave also broken the other way, towardcooling.“Frost-free Florida is no longerfrost-free,” said Ebell. The SunshineState’s struggling citrus industry wasone example of the environmentallobby’s selectivity in citing damagingecosystem changes only when theypoint toward warming, he added.At the root of Ebell’s dismissals ofkey environmentalist assumptions ishis belief that the science is too unsettledto justify conservation measuresthat will slow economic growth.While conceding that both sidescould “probably be accused of cherrypicking”bits of supportive evidence,Cannon questioned the notion thatI would like to have a debate onthe appropriate political response toglobal warming. In the past, the LawWeekly has run thought-provokingpieces from students who take theissue seriously. Mr. Ebell’s appearanceat the invitation of the FederalistSociety was concerned with this verytopic: How should the federal governmentreact to climate change? Doesthe threat merit a statist crusade inresponse? What are the implicationsof the Kyoto Protocol, both from a domesticlegal perspective and from aninternational empirical perspective?Unfortunately, this column musttake up a concern considerably lessimportant to the future of our countryand one that I had thought longsettled: What is the appropriate wayto deal with the opinions of those youdisagree with at the University of VirginiaSchool of Law?I was asked by Mr. Stark to writein response to his thesis that civilityis unnecessary when dealing with “liarsand propagandists,” by which heexpressly means Mr. Ebell, but whichI fear is a group that would likely extendto just about anyone who disagreeswith his individual politicalinclinations.I imagine Mr. Stark’s problem withour guest is that his think tank, CEI,the science was as ambiguous as Ebellasserted.That the planet is warming is unequivocal,Cannon said, citing evidencethat 11 of the 12 warmest yearsin the last half-century have occurredsince 1995.“Do we do nothing?” Cannonasked. “Do we wait? Do we allow theeconomy to grow, to generate wealthfor future generations so they can betterdeal with [warming]? The realquestion is whether we take mitigativemeasures … to avoid some of themore dire possibilities, and to give usmore flexibility down the road.”Cannon said that he believed“some action is better than no action,”and pointed out some undisputable“co-benefits” of taking quick action,including increased efficiency andlessening dependence on foreign oil.Letters to the EditorIn Praise of IncivilityIn Defense of Community Respectoriginal image courtesy of proudtobecanadian.cahas received grant money from ExxonMobil.It’s a peculiar fixation, giventhat CEI opposed expansive governmentresponse to global warminglong before this funding began (byabout four years) and has continuedto do so since the same fundingceased. It’s also interesting that, ina political debate charged with possiblybillions of dollars at stake (inresearch grants, environmental NGOfunding, and in the wealth redistributioneffects of any carbon market),that the two million given to CEI overseven years should cause Mr. Starksuch duress.But this isn’t really about Mr. Ebell’squalifications. Others have challengedthem before in these verypages and did so using the civil toneof public debate that prevails here atUVA. Mr. Stark seems to take issuethat the norms that govern behaviorin a setting like UVA—where studentsunderstand that living in a communityof trust also means living in a communityof respect—even exist.For someone who insists that everyone(and by “everyone” he apparentlydoes not count atmosphericand climate scientists such as MIT’sRichard Lindzen and UVA’s Pat Michaels)is with him on the warmingissue, it is unfortunate that Mr. Starkfeels the best manner of representingthis consensus is with the tactic of HeWho Screams Loudest is Most Heard.Most heard, perhaps, but certainlynot the one taken most seriously. It isa strategy I hope does not spread, lestthe reasoned discourse that has so farfilled our halls be replaced with a contemptuousdin.It is my experience in two years atVirginia Law that pride, dignity, andmanners compel us to treat guests ofthe Law School with whom we disagreewith respect; if not out of respectfor the guest themselves, thenat least out of consideration for ourfellow law students. This is Mr. Jefferson’sUniversity, and it is difficult toimagine him subscribing to Mr. Stark’smethodology.I do not intend to give instructionto the student body of this school—to99 percent of this paper’s readers, thishas been a waste of your time and theLaw Weekly’s more deserving literaryreal estate. You know these thingsalready. But perhaps a defense of civilityis a reminder we need, lest wefind ourselves embroiled in ACS versusFed-Soc snap fights à la West SideStory in Slaughter Hall (which, cometo think of it, might be pretty sweet).Jeff Miller ’08

6 ColumnsVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 6 April 2007Toward More Efficient, Effective PhilanthropyGiving has become the constantstoryline among today’srich and famous, most notablyKurt Davis ’09ColumnistWarren Buffetand Bill Gates donatingbillions,and Angelina Jolieand Madonna adopting babiesacross the world. With all thegenerosity, many scholars havebegun to label this as a goldenage of philanthropy. But whilethe giving is certainly growing,it is unclear what good will comeof it and whether there is any efficiencyin what the generousare doing. With the spendingdebacles of Hurricane Katrinaand 9/11 funds—money fallinginto the hands of administrativefigures rather than those sufferingon the ground—overseenby national and internationalnon-profit organizations, a standardof efficiency for generositymight be applicable.Efficiency, applied to generosity,might initially offendmany readers. But the increasingamount of “generosity cash flow”has led only to more haphazardmanagement of funds and decreasingreturn on generosity. Inother words, managers of thesefunds and the managers of concurrentspending projects haveused these increasing funds witha lack of foresight and oversight.The World Bank had to see a newchange in leadership before it beganto more efficiently employ itsgenerosity across the world. Thereality of many non-profit organizationsis that they suffer froma lack of good strategy, inadequateand fragmented leadership(absence of any clear oversight),and a lack of transparency.Efficiency levels among nonprofitscould easily be improvedif they chose to avoid the arrogancethat is insulated in theirculture about the inapplicabilityof business structuring andmodeling to their organizationalmakeup and the subsequentknee-jerk reaction of fear thatcomes with the slightest mentionof economics and generosityin the same sentence.Non-profits could improvetheir situations by avoiding pastmistakes. History only repeats itselfif one lets it. Central to thiseffort would be a voluntary steptowards making the organizationmore transparent and more receptiveto public inquiries—e.g.,from public officials or the media.Many non-profit organizationsoperate with inappropriatelevels of secrecy and the consequentscorn of public officialscharged with their oversight. Thepublic, by and large, is ignorantof the role of the organizationand what it does with its generositycash flow. Honest reportingof failures will open the public’seyes to what the organizationis doing and the troubles thatare engendered in their field ofwork. In the same instance, thishonesty will cultivate a publictrust that would ease the intensityof incessant public inquiriesthat follow huge debacles.Non-profits could additionallyimprove their situationsby embracing elements of businessorganizational structuring.Absent in most non-profits arethe mechanisms for oversightof projects. It is unclear when aproject becomes a failure in mostnon-profits. Instead, the culturecoddles the idea that generosityis always good despite a lack ofreturn. Millions of dollars canbe poured into a project that isgetting minimal return but iscontinually backed by the notionthat, at some point, minimalreturns will evolve into biggerones. The same project, inmost large corporations, wouldbe weeded out after not meetingcertain success requirementswithin an established time period.Even in the so-called goldenage of philanthropy, resourcesare limited and will potentiallybecome further limited by decreasingdonations in responseEconomic Bountyto persistent waste. A little economicforesight and modelingthat focus on more results perdollar would also help.It is also unclear who shouldlabel a project as failing. Often,this job falls into the hands ofthe project manager who, aftertoo much time of diminishedreturns on the generosity cashflow, decides she has a new ideaand wants to dispose of the failingone. In some situations, if theproject manager fails to assumethis duty, the public—mostly themedia—will begin the public inquirythat will bring the demiseof that project, which is needed,but will also bring unneeded“Generosity Cash Flow” ModelingEfficiency in Generositycriticism into every aspect of theorganization, almost beggingthe organization to explain whyit even exists.Efficiency in generosity maybe an oxymoron for some personsbut efficiency just makesthe generosity more bountifulto those on the receiving end.In an age of much giving, a littleuse of business tenets and economicforesight would preventmore spending debacles andensure more prosperity for all.Establishing an organizationalstructure with clear oversightmechanisms would be a greatfirst step.Email: kdavis@virginia.eduDamn, It Feels Good to Be a 3L . . . Or Does It?You wish you were me. Yousooo do. Okay, well, maybe notall of you. Just those preciousStephanie Weitzner ’07Senior Columnistfew whose namescontain vowels,and, oh yeah,who aren’t 3Ls.’Cause being a senior and rulingthe school, well, it’s prettymuch as close to god-like statusas anyone here can hope to attain(alternative religious beliefsnotwithstanding). But before youphoto courtesy of foodhistory.comThe Corner: a consistent source of torment for many 3Ls.set up your golden altar to the 3Lclass, replete with votive candles,natty lights, and offerings of classnotes, there’s something I feel Ishould share something that you,my lower-ranking classmates, maynot have perceived. And it is this:3L-ing ain’t easy.Think back, if you will, to thereason you came to Law Schoolin the first place. Deep down, youknow it wasn’t really about themoney, prestige, or your parent’sunrelenting nudging. Rather, itwas the pursuit of something fundamentallyhuman, a force of nature—yourown desire to achievethat enlightened state known asthe Joy of Learning. And yet, we3Ls are tragically excluded fromsuch pleasures. A suspect class?Perhaps. Forced by social pressuresand low expectations, weare needlessly driven out of theclassrooms to pursue inferiorgoals of softball, golf, or simplycatching up on our beauty rest aftera prior night’s partying. I askyou, what kind of life is this? Whymust we be so systematically excludedfrom the hedonistic thrillsof education?Yet our troubles do not endthere. Do you know how hard itis to maintain an interest in oursame old 300-some 3L classmatesafter three whole years together?Suffering through a fourth or fifthnight per week at a certain Cornerbar where everyone knows yourname? I doubt you can imaginethe quiet torment we endure. Iask you, 1Ls and 2Ls, does yourheart race like mine at the SoftballInvitational, simply from theintoxicating prospect of meetingnew people? Yet these visits, fromsoftballers to admitted studentsto 4Ls, are all too brief, and thenwe 3Ls are left alone once again toponder the drudgery of our ongoingmutual company.Which is to say nothing of romanticprospects. Having run outof options amongst ourselves, wedesperately seek out grad students,undergrads, or that elusiveundiscovered 1L gem, clinging tothe hope we might meet someoneappealing who either we orour BFFs (a big “if” by 3L year)haven’t yet “been intimate” with.Of course, in the process we mayfind ourselves slightly too focusedto notice that some of these prospects,due to our own aging duringLaw School, might actually nowbe too young to consider. But hey,no harm no foul. Which means, ofcourse, so long as it’s legal.While it may,at times, feel“good” to be a3L, what withthe free time,the fun, and theoccasionalfrolicking, itis still a hardknock life.Yet still there is more. For evenupholding the weight of our statuscan prove to be an overwhelmingburden. We must wonder, even aswe regularly demonstrate our superiorityto those below, are wereally being cocky enough? Surewe do a great job of harassing1Ls, forcing them to do push upsfor our amusement, or—the worstform of 3L domination—datingthem. But what is the right balanceto strike? And how impressiveand dominant can we appearbefore slamming painfully intothe fabled glass ceiling of cockiness?Sadly, there are no answersto these questions. We are leftonly with a vague sense of uneasein not knowing.But maybe you hesitate to pityus after witnessing the spectaclethat is the annual return of the4Ls. You have seen how their facesbecome giddy and flush upon returningto the homeland of UVALaw, revisiting, for a few joyousspring nights, the carefree livesthey knew before graduation. Benot fooled. For while they mayremember better days, I ask you,is not Alcatraz still better than aSoviet gulag? Well, of course. The3Ls have it rough, and the relativelyincreased misery of 4L lifecannot disprove this point.So here is the final lesson. Whileit may, at times, feel “good” to bea 3L, what with the free time, thefun, and the occasional frolicking,it is still a hard knock life. So nexttime you’re talking about how weseniors have “got it made,” just remember,we’ve got our problemstoo. And a little goddamn sympathy,if you can take time out ofyour cite check, memo, or outline,would really be appreciated.Email: slw2f@virginia.edu

Friday, 6 April 2007HBO’s Entourage ShouldLose One SidekickVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Reviews 7Virginia Gentleman VisitsVegas Gentlemen’s ClubAaron Kleinman ’09ReviewerEntourage is one of the mostfrustrating TV shows to watch.Sure, it’s mostly well-writtenand its supporting characters(Turtle, Johnny Drama, and especiallyAri Gold) are interestingand funny. But plots involvingits two leads, Eric and Vince, arefrequently boring and sometimesunwatchable. Fans had betterhope that there are changes instore for the show, entering itsfourth season Sunday night, lestvisions of Henry Winkler on waterskis enter their heads.Kevin Connolly plays Eric—thepurportedly streetwise managerfor Hollywood megastar VincentChase—who is dating the superhotdaughter of Ari Gold’s formerboss. How a 5’5” guy with no discerniblepersonality started datingher is one of the many problemsspringing forth from thecharacter. He’s supposed to beVince’s conscience; keeping himgrounded in their outer boroughvalues while navigating throughphony and effete Hollywood. Butthe character often fails becauseConnolly apparently shares anacting coach with Steven Seagaland his performances haveranged from “almost passable”to “cringe-worthy.”Connolly’s wooden actingwasn’t helped when producersmade him utter the unforgettableline, “I stopped drinking Jager inhigh school; I drink vodka now,”in order to affirm his manlinessto Seth Green. That line highlightsone of the biggest problemswith the character. I bet ifEric’s old buddies in Queens hadheard him say this, they wouldhave smashed a bottle of Jameson’sover his head and forced himto drink its contents off the floorwhen he regained consciousness.The line shows how the characterno longer serves his purpose ofkeeping his friend grounded andhas instead adapted to the phonyand effete Hollywood lifestylehimself. And since viewers havebeen given very little in the pastthree years to make Eric likable,they will find themselves rootingagainst him. Not what the producershad in mind, I’m sure.The somewhat more capableAdrian Grenier plays Vince. Grenieris kind of like John Travolta;he’s a charming guy who’s at hisbest when he’s playing affable,harmless types. He can’t do “calculating”or even “kind of intelligent”characters. WheneverVince is just drifting throughHollywood and soaking up thegood times, Grenier does a goodjob. But when he’s scheming toget onto a new movie or sleuthingto find out if one of his oldfriends has betrayed him, he’shopeless. When he tries to play asmart guy, he comes off as “dumbguy who thinks he’s smart.”The best solution would be forthe producers to can Connolly.Put him out to pasture and soonthe only time we’ll see his woodenacting will be in Lifetimemade-for-TV movies or Rocky Vshowings on TNT. Replace thecharacter with a Hollywoodmanager who is originally fromNew York that can keep Vincegrounded and will do all thethinking for him while he bouncesfrom woman to woman. Thatwill let Grenier keep doing hisTravolta impression and makethe show entertaining for entireshows instead of for eight-minutestretches that don’t involveConnolly.Unfortunately, that is not anelegant solution for the show.The dynamic between Vinceand his three friends from homewould be disrupted (Drama’sand Turtle’s jabs at Eric and viceversa are some of the most entertainingparts of the show) but atthis point Connolly and his characterare such an albatross forthe show that it simply has to bedone.Of course, it’s unlikely theshow would resort to such drasticmeasures since it’s still a cashcow for HBO and has grown froma cult hit to a water cooler discussiontopic. Instead, all we canhope for is better acting fromConnolly, a minor re-toolingof the character, or a changeddynamic that somehow makesEric work. Since none of those islikely, prepare for another disappointingthirty minutes on Sunday.Maybe, someday if we’relucky, they’ll do an Ari, Drama orTurtle spin-off series.The new season of Entouragebegins on Sunday, April 8 at 10p.m. on HBO.Craig Smith ’09Associate Reviews Editor“Please, try to have some fun.Look at the women and at least pretendto be having a good time,” shesaid.Not many wives give these instructionsto their strip club-boundhusbands, but then again not manywives remind their husbands not toargue with TSA agents to the pointof arrest “like you nearly did inHawai’i.”When I learned that my groomto-befriend and his best man wereplanning a bachelor party in Las Vegas,I knew the end was near. After25 years of steadfast avoidance, I’dfinally have to patronize an establishmentin which women removetheir clothes for money. It’s not thatI had anything against strip clubs; Ijust had no interest in the whole affair.But it wasn’t my bachelor party,so I went along for the ride.At least, after negotiations, wehad settled on a top-of-the-lineestablishment. Spearmint Rhinocatered to the more free-spendingcustomer, as evidenced by the halfdozenmajor league baseball playerswe saw entertaining themselvesafter an exhibition game. Hopefullythe experience would be fast, relativelypainless, and at least an interestingreviews article.“Dance?” “No thank you.” Repeat.And so it went for an hour. Returningfrom an early trip to the bar,I felt a performer grab my arm andstart dragging me towards a bench.I pictured an Andrew Jackson onfire and firmly declined, only to beinformed that my friends had purchasedthe dance in my absence.Awesome. They could have at leastdone me a favor and gotten a brunette.“My name is [Name + ‘ee’ or ‘y’],”she attempted to suggestively whisper.“I like to touch and be touched.”“Splendid,” I thought. “That makesexactly one of us.”The whole experience was justawkward, with the coup de grâcetowards the end. Somehow thedancer, while rather presumptivelyjamming her chest into my face,managed to dislodge my contactlens with her right breast. Baffled,I began flailing around—possiblyproviding the touching she hadso eloquently sought—to try andrestore my vision. The incident soflustered me that I failed to musterany type of sarcastic remark uponreturning to the safety of my group.It was time to escape, so I pulledthe eject lever and headed for apermanent perch at the bar. I wasdismayed, however, to find allseats taken and half of them bythe very dancers that I had hopedto avoid. The cruel irony hung andmixed with cigar smoke from theJay-Z wannabe standing next tome, merging into an ugly funk thatprompted the first disgusted lip curlof the night.Time passed and SportsCenterhelped lighten my mood. Despitethe annoyingly constant stream ofsales pitches, I remained the VirginiaGentleman, always politely decliningwith a smile. Then, with thehelp of Julia Roberts, I figured outwhy the whole experience seemedso boring. For all the skimpy outfits,nudity, and bumping-and-grinding,the club lacked any air of sexuality.Everything was transactional.All of the women were on the clockand none of the men ever had anychance of scoring so much as aphone number.It was strange but it made sense.Drop all of us into a nightclub andI’d be watching people intently, analyzingefforts, rooting for the guyhitting on a girl out of his league,and laughing heartily at the couplegrooving together far from thedance floor. At a bar, everyone’sgoal is, boiled down, to procreate.Here, at the club, nobody (rationally)had that objective.Why Julia Roberts, then? Because,like in Pretty Woman, nobodywas kissing. You could do a full turnand see just about anything youwanted—especially in the VIP, thesatisfied groom-to-be proclaimed—and yet not see a single kiss on thelips. Packed with sensuality, thekiss is where feelings are formedand relationships begin. Withoutit, every touch and motion is just anact or a performance. Julia had her“no kissing” policy for a reason–shewas there to work. And that’s whereI stood, watching what were in essence,a bunch of employees. Fromthat moment on, the experience feltrather sterile. I might as well havebeen watching accountants.But, if exotic dancing is your preferredflavor of entertainment, thenSpearmint Rhino does an excellentjob. Performers filled a broad spectrumof options: blonde, brunette,even some redheads; American,foreign, or mixed; tall, short, orshort + heels; and factory installedor aftermarket equipment. Withone or two exceptions (including ascary Donatella Versace look-alike),each performer could be called hotand I even saw a half-dozen womenthat I’d were my type of attractiveand I'd approach outside the confinesof the club. If I were singleand all. (Disclosure: one performerwore those Tina Fey-style glassesBaffled, Ibegan flailingaround—possiblyproviding thetouching she hadso eloquentlysought—to tryand restore myvision.that nearly spelled the end of thisintrepid reviewer. Those frames aremy kryptonite.)The bouncers weren’t jerks, theseats were comfortable, and the DJpicked head-bobbing beats. The barkeeping was stellar and would havebeen the highlight of my night if notfor what I found in the men’s bathroom:Starburst. I came back to mygroup beaming, proudly displayingeach of the four flavors and earningfull appreciation from anyone notengaged in intrastate commerce atthe time.Overall, though, I can’t say thatmy money was well-spent. Halfwaythrough our four-hour stay I startedcontemplating other uses for my c-note, like a fancy dinner or a newnecktie. The experience wasn’t awful,it wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t anything,really. My final text messagehome summed it all up: “I’d ratherbe doing my homework.”Spearmint Rhino is located at3344 South Highland Drive in LasVegas and is conveniently open 24hours a day. Cover is $30.Title SummaryProCon GradeSportsThe Masters; Friday,USA 4:00–7:00 p.m.;Saturday, CBS 3:30–7:00 p.m.; Sunday, CBS2:30–7:00 p.m.Defending champion Phil Mickelson,Tiger Woods, and the rest of golf’s eliteplayers convene at Augusta Nationalfor the year’s first major tournament.Probably the most interesting tournamentfor non-regulars, the course layoutrewards risk-taking and usuallyproduces a full highlight reel worth ofexciting shots.A tradition unlike any other,the Masters conjures nostalgiagalore. Everyone who followsgolf knows green jackets,Amen Corner, and the coolestsports thing ever: the lockerroom exclusively for use bypast champions. By contract,CBS can only run four minutesof commercials per hour ofbroadcast.It’s golf. Unless you play,chances are you aren’t remotelyinteresting in watchinga single swing every three orfour minutes. The possibilityof Vijay-Tiger-Phil at the top ofthe leader board is just as goodas Bad-Badder-Worst. Manypeople, curiously, hate featuredannouncer Jim Nantz—possibly assuming that BillyPacker will join him.AConcertCommon with LupeFiasco; April 11, JohnPaul Jones Arena; $25for students (limit two)Actual quote from JPJ’s website: “thefirst hip-hop concert ever at John PaulJones Arena!” (exclamations original).Lupe Fiasco also performs music. Hisalbum Food & Liquor was nominated forthree Grammys last year, and we heardone of his songs on the radio last week.Common gives us a raretreat: lyrics that avoid thestandard “drugs, dollars, anddames” clichés of modernhip-hop. The crowd won’t includemany patrons of JustinTimberlake’s show in March,namely 14-year-old girls ortheir “fans.”Common’s really good, butcan anyone name a song byhim (or Erykah Badu, for atangential question) in the lastfive years? The crowd mightbe small, making for a deadatmosphere. Wednesday nightis also tough for a concert becauseit requires a late nightbefore Bar Review.B+

8 The Back PageVIRGINIA LAW WEEKLYFriday, 6 April 2007Julian André ’07Senior Staff WriterPeople ask me what I do in the winterwhen there’s no baseball. I’ll tellyou what I do. I stare out the windowand wait for spring.—Rogers HornsbyI’ve been waiting for this daysince October. Opening Day. Yousee Opening Day has always beenspecial for me. Ever since I was alittle kid there has been nothing Ilook forward to more than OpeningDay. Not Chanukah, not Christmas(yes I celebrate both), noteven my birthday. There are manyreasons for this. For one thingI was, and still am, obsessedwith Major LeagueBaseball. Also, OpeningDay was the only day Icould skip school withoutactually being sick or pretendingto be sick (whichI did often, and have sinceoutgrown—nowadays INEVER miss class).Most importantly though,Opening Day and the twoweeks that follow has alwaysbeen a time of hope. I still rememberthose first few weeksof the 1992 season when Iwas convinced Jose Offermanwas the second coming of CalRipken, Jr. and would leadmy Dodgers back to the WorldSeries. I was of course wrong,and José Offerman provedthat he couldn’t even catch anSTD in a Tijuana whore house,let alone a routine ground ballto short, but those were still twogreat weeks. Anything is possible onOpening Day.Take, for example, the Kansas CityRoyals. I bet the last time a Royalsfan was excited about anything waswhen George Brett and Brett Saberhagenwere still playing. But thisyear, Royals fans have hope again,if only for a few weeks. You see, theRoyals are playing in the toughestdivision in baseball and will probablystill lose 100 games, but new GMDayton Moore and super-prospectAlex Gordon have injected life into afranchise that for the past decade hasbeen pretty much dead to the world.And if that wasn’t enough, their newace Gil Meche shut down a potentBoston Red Sox lineup for seven anda third innings on opening day. ItThe Wait Is Over: Baseball Returnsmay only have been one game, andthere may not be many more like it,but if I were a Royals fan it would beenough to carry me through until atleast July or August.For me personally, Opening Daydidn’t go as well as I had hoped. TheDodgers got shut down by the Brewersand managed only two hits. Butdespite the fact that our new centerfielderJuan Pierre throws like aneight-year-old girl and Luis Gonzalezcan’t catch a fly ball to save his life,I still have hope. After all, there arestill 161 more games to play and Ican take solace in the fact that manyexperts are picking the Dodgers tographic courtesy of Julian André ’07reach the World Series for the firsttime since 1988 and, almost as importantly,for the hated San FranciscoGiants (a Dodger fan once stabbeda Giants fan to death in the DodgerStadium parking lot just for wearinga Giants jersey—I cheered) to finishdead last in the N.L. West. But yousee, that’s the beauty of OpeningDay. Win or lose, the first few weeksrepresent the best baseball has to offer—endlesspossibilities.This year there should be plentyof things for all of us to look forwardto regardless of what your favoriteteam is (unless that team isthe Washington Nationals who ona good day probably couldn’t evenbeat UVA Law’s Men’s Gold). Hereare just a few of the things to lookforward to this year:Mel the 3L: by Josh Kaplowitz '071. Barry Bonds’ home-run chase:Love him or hate him, Barry is aboutto make history and I for one am excitedabout it. Now, I know Bonds isa Giant and I am therefore obligatedto hate him, but he is the greatestplayer I have ever seen and that mattersmore to me. Also, I could careless about the steroid allegations.The man has never tested positiveand he played in an era when steroidsweren’t even against the rules.As future lawyers, that has to meansomething. Besides, who are we tojudge Bonds when half of the NGSLis currently on HGH? Bonds breaksthe record in July.2. The American LeagueCentral: The AL Central isbound to be the most excitingdivision in baseball this yearwith four teams that could notonly win the division but potentiallythe World Series. TheTigers return the entire teamfrom their World Series runand have added Gary Sheffieldto beef up their offense. TheTwins have the reigning MVPin Justin Morneau, and JohanSantana is the most dominantlefty since Sandy Koufax.Then there is my pick to winthe division—the ClevelandIndians. The Indians arearguably the most excitingteam in baseball and withGrady Sizemore and TravisHafner leading the waythey will score tons of runs.Also, don’t forget the ChicagoWhite Sox. They stillboast one of the most potent lineupsin baseball and are only a year removedfrom winning the World Series.This division is going to be oneheck of a battle.3. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays andDelmon Young: Before you laugh atme, let me say I still think the DevilRays are going to suck. I just don’tthink they are going to suck as muchas people think. Carl Crawford,Rocco Baldelli, and Delmon Youngmay be the most talented outfieldin baseball and Young is going to asuperstar. One day soon we will becomparing him to the other greatoutfielders of our generation such asBonds and Ken Griffey, Jr. Oh, and ifOpening Day is any indication, ElijahDukes and B.J. Upton are also goingto be pretty damn good. The DevilRays may not be very good this year,but they should be fun to watch.Also, don’t forget to keep an eyeout for other young players aroundthe league such as Hanley Ramirez,Prince Fielder, and Stephen Drew, oryoung pitchers such as Erik Bedard,Felix Hernandez, and Matt Cain.4. Daisuke Matsuzaka: AlthoughI am admittedly tired of hearingabout him every day, I must admitit is a pretty intriguing story. If he ishalf as good as people are saying, theRed Sox are going to be pretty toughto beat.5. Comebacks: Every year baseballis filled with some pretty greatcomeback stories and this year is nodifferent. Leading the way is CincinnatiReds Outfielder Josh Hamilton.After two years out of baseball andnumerous drug suspensions, the formernumber one draft choice had amonster spring to make the Reds roster.In fact, he has been so impressivethat many are picking him to win theRookie of the Year. If he can comeback from drug addiction and succeedit will truly be a remarkable story.Hamilton isn’t the only intriguingstory though. I will also be watchingSammy Sosa try to rebuild his imagewith the Texas Rangers, ToddHelton attempt to return to form inColorado, and if all goes well, PedroMartinez’s triumphant return to theMets rotation sometime in August.So sit back, relax, and enjoy somebaseball. We've got seven greatmonths ahead of us.Predictions:AL West—Anaheim AngelsAL Central—Cleveland IndiansAL East—Boston Red SoxAL Wild Card—NY YankeesAL Cy Young—Johan SantanaAL MVP—Grady SizemoreAL Rookie—Delmon YoungNL West—Los Angeles DodgersNL Central—St. Louis CardinalsNL East—Philadelphia PhilliesNL Wild Card—Houston AstrosNL Cy Young—Roy OswaltNL MVP—Miguel CabreraNL Rookie—Mike PelfreyWorld Series—Dodgers beat theRed Sox in Game Six. (Seriously,did you really expect me to picksomething else?)faculty quotesA. Bellia: “I’m looking around tosee if there’s anyone from the AppointmentsCommittee here. No?Now back to the frivolity.”Student: “Oh, okay, I didn’t know‘Sloop John B’ was a Beach Boyssong.”D. Leslie: “Ah. See, I assumedsome incredibly minimal amount ofbackground knowledge.”D. Leslie: “We didn’t have emailthen. We didn’t even have MAIL then!Typewriters, nothing. We didn’thave anything. . . . I’m really old.”J. Harrison: “The Unabomberwas a brilliant mathematician. Yeah,I like to think that anyone who ispossibly smarter than me is also alunatic.”P. Bellia: “Law school is what youdo when you have no other talentsor skills.”D. Leslie: “Wanna lose weight?Get your colon checked. I lost threepounds.”S. Walt: “[The drafter of the UCC]once said that Article 9 may as wellhave explicitly excluded fan dancing.I don’t know what fan dancingis, but I think you get the idea.”J. Harrison: “What is replevin’spartner?”Student: “Trover.”J. Harrison: “See, this is what thelaw needs more of. ‘The Adventuresof Trover and Replevin.’ ‘Troverand Replevin in the Wild West.’”J. Harrison: “Did you takeProperty?”Student: “Yes.”J. Harrison: “Well, I will skipasking you if you took it from DougLeslie. It spares me the problem offinding something to say which isboth witty and not insulting to mycolleague.”D. Leslie: “I’m sorry—I was zoningout thinking of cocktail waitresses.”J. Harrison: “The airlines havesomething called ‘yield management.’‘Yield’ means money theyextract from us, and ‘management’means as much as possible.”G. Mitchell: “White powder!Sweet, sweet white powder! . . . Idon’t know how I would have madeit through the last three days withoutwhite powder.”Preorder your own personal copy of Mel: The Complete Collection, April 9-13 in Scott Commons. For only $10,own every single strip from the last three years, plus strips that were too hot for the Law Weekly. Proceeds go toPILA, so you can feel good about laughing at the Law School.