Diary of a Break up-Break down.pdf - Alex Broun
Diary of a Break up-Break down.pdf - Alex Broun Diary of a Break up-Break down.pdf - Alex Broun
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3Diary of a Break-up/Break-downBy Alex BrounTIM: Day 1: You wake up to discover your head is pounding and your heartis hammering so hard in your chest you feel like itʼs about to pop outand say ʻHello!ʼ You are sweating, your mouth is dry, your eyes arebloodshot. You try to think of words to describe this sensation. Yousettle on “Absolute devastation” although you donʼt feel that does itcomplete justice. You feel like a grenade has been detonated in yourchest. You move around very slowly trying to pick up the pieces andpack them back in to your rib cage – but they keep falling out again inbig bleeding chunks. You cry. A lot.Day 2: You wake up. You look at the clock. Itʼs 7.45am. You decide notto go to work today. Again. You close the curtains and take twosleeping pills. A little later you wake up and look at the clock. Itʼs8.15am. You feel like everything is in super slow motion. Every steptakes an eternity. The full weight of the world is on your shoulders anditʼs grinding you into the earth. You try to breathe. Slowly. Remindyourself you are not dead – although this must be close to what deathfeels like.Day 3: You discover that everything reminds you of her. The showerreminds you of the walk you took when you got caught in the rain andyou both got soaking wet – and how at the time it really made you madbut now you would do anything to be soaking wet again. The colour ofan apple reminds you of her lips – the softest in the world – and howyour lips would melt into hers when you kissed. A bird reminds you ofher half-laugh, half chuckle. You hated that – or so you thought. Youthought a lot of things at the time. Most of them were wrong.Day 4: You try very hard not to call her. You surprise yourself bysucceeding – for a whole five minutes. You try again - for the next fiveminutes. You try not to obsess about her. You find this very hard. Youreplay every second of your time together over and over again. Youwish there had been an umpire who couldʼve stepped in and stoppedthings when they were going wrong – call a “time out”.Day 5: You pray. You canʼt remember how to pray or exactly why youare praying but you pray anyway. Your prayer goes like this: “Pleasegod bring her back to me. I will do anything on earth if you just bringher back to me. Also – kill him. Kill him and bring her back to me.Amen. PS: Donʼt really kill him. I would feel bad about that. Just bringher back to me – without killing him. Thanks.”Day 7: You ask yourself why they call it a break-up ? There is no ʻupʼ inthis. From the way you see it itʼs all down-down-down. Itʼs harder to
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- Page 5 and 6: 5Day 17: You wonder if it would be
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