Diary of a Break up-Break down.pdf - Alex Broun

1Diary of aBreak-up/BreakdownA short playByAlex BrounThis play is free to download and perform. The only condition is that you must emailAlex Broun at abroun@bigpond.net.au and let him know where and when youproduced his script, listing the director, cast and theatre (including city, state andcountry).Good luck with the production!May 2010© Alex Broun 2010www.alexbroun.com

2CastTim

3Diary of a Break-up/Break-downBy Alex BrounTIM: Day 1: You wake up to discover your head is pounding and your heartis hammering so hard in your chest you feel like itʼs about to pop outand say ʻHello!ʼ You are sweating, your mouth is dry, your eyes arebloodshot. You try to think of words to describe this sensation. Yousettle on “Absolute devastation” although you donʼt feel that does itcomplete justice. You feel like a grenade has been detonated in yourchest. You move around very slowly trying to pick up the pieces andpack them back in to your rib cage – but they keep falling out again inbig bleeding chunks. You cry. A lot.Day 2: You wake up. You look at the clock. Itʼs 7.45am. You decide notto go to work today. Again. You close the curtains and take twosleeping pills. A little later you wake up and look at the clock. Itʼs8.15am. You feel like everything is in super slow motion. Every steptakes an eternity. The full weight of the world is on your shoulders anditʼs grinding you into the earth. You try to breathe. Slowly. Remindyourself you are not dead – although this must be close to what deathfeels like.Day 3: You discover that everything reminds you of her. The showerreminds you of the walk you took when you got caught in the rain andyou both got soaking wet – and how at the time it really made you madbut now you would do anything to be soaking wet again. The colour ofan apple reminds you of her lips – the softest in the world – and howyour lips would melt into hers when you kissed. A bird reminds you ofher half-laugh, half chuckle. You hated that – or so you thought. Youthought a lot of things at the time. Most of them were wrong.Day 4: You try very hard not to call her. You surprise yourself bysucceeding – for a whole five minutes. You try again - for the next fiveminutes. You try not to obsess about her. You find this very hard. Youreplay every second of your time together over and over again. Youwish there had been an umpire who couldʼve stepped in and stoppedthings when they were going wrong – call a “time out”.Day 5: You pray. You canʼt remember how to pray or exactly why youare praying but you pray anyway. Your prayer goes like this: “Pleasegod bring her back to me. I will do anything on earth if you just bringher back to me. Also – kill him. Kill him and bring her back to me.Amen. PS: Donʼt really kill him. I would feel bad about that. Just bringher back to me – without killing him. Thanks.”Day 7: You ask yourself why they call it a break-up ? There is no ʻupʼ inthis. From the way you see it itʼs all down-down-down. Itʼs harder to

4imagine you can go further down than you currently are but youʼre sureyouʼre about to find out just how that is possible. You see her newrelationship status on Facebook. You feel like you just got hit in thehead with a sledge hammer.Day 8: You try to think of all the bad things about her. You try and thinkof some more. You give up when all you can think of is sheoccasionally wore quite unflattering mauve knickers.Day 9: You wish youʼd stop waking up at 4.30am thinking about herand what if you did this and she did that. You try not to imagine herlying in bed with him. Her head resting on his chest, slowly rising andfalling with his breathing. His hand gently stroking her hair. You try tostay busy. You wonder if cutting your toenails repeatedly is classed asbusy.Day 11: You remember how you once drank 25 tequila slammers andlived. You wonder if you did it again if you might die. You think at thismoment that dying might not be such a bad thing. This whole deaththing seems to get a very bad rap.Day 12: You think about crushing your head in a vice. At least if youcrushed your head in a vice the pain would momentarily distract youfrom the pain in your chest. At least for a little while. Or maybe youcould cut off your left arm. No, your right. Youʼve always been ratherfond of your left arm.Day 13: See Day 7.Day 14: You thought things would start to get better by now. Theydonʼt. This may also have something to do with the fact that today isher birthday. You try not to think of a birthday dinner with him.Presents, kisses, laughter. You fail. You picture her taking him to havedinner with her family on her birthday. You want to get a gun and blowyour brains out. Then at least you wonʼt be able to think about her.Day 15: You congratulate yourself on getting to Day 15. Is it only Day15 ? You count again. Bugger. Not as painful a day – but sadder.Sadness mixed with hot flashes of anger. Anger is good – it means youare getting better.Day 16: When you are doing your exercises you imagine themtogether. The surge of pain and anger makes you exercise harder. Youare happy you found at least one good thing out of their gettingtogether. You congratulate yourself on this. You suddenly feel quiteweird. You resolve not to think about them again while you areexercising.

5Day 17: You wonder if it would be easier if sheʼd decided just not to bewith you and was alone rather than knowing sheʼs with someone else.You decide itʼs much more painful knowing she is with someone else.You read her Facebook page again. Bad idea. In a note to a friend shewrites: " Am ridiculously and madly in love - must catch up soon dude!"This is a slight setback. A wave of red hot emotion surges through yourbody like acid. You feel like you are right back on the first morning-after– raw and bleeding. You also feel a touch angry you are feeling all thisabout someone who uses the word ʻdudeʼ.Day 18: You go over in your head the conversation you will have withher one day when you run into her at the supermarket, In front of thefrozen peas. You realise this is completely pointless. You go over itsome more. You thought you knew what ʻEmotional painʼ was. You donow.Day 20: You think about buying a steam roller. If you bought a steamroller and you got someone to run you over with it seventeen times –would you still feel like this ? You remember the friend who urged younot to run from these feelings. To face them: “Feel it head on.” Ohyouʼre feeling it – youʼre feeling it big time.Day 21: You think about her most in the morning. No – you think abouther most at night. No – you think about her most in the afternoon. Or itcould be when you wake up in the middle of the night from a dreamabout her. You decide to call it a tie.Day 22: A surprisingly tough day. Isnʼt this meant to be getting easier?You find itʼs the fun you had together you miss the most. You try toconvince yourself itʼs all for the best. You fail. You try again.Day 23: You have a bit of a nothing day … This is slightly better than aʻgoddambloodyawfuldayʼ.Day 24: You listen to every depressing song ever written. You find TheSmiths, Joy Division and Billie Holiday especially good for this purpose.You find yourself listening to Whitney Houston – ʻThe greatest love islearning to love yourself.” Oh really Whitney? And is that what you toldyourself when Bobby Brown “smacked your bitch up”? You come upwith a new plan : youʼll be the best of friends. Youʼll all go out to dinner– you, him and her. Youʼll drink lashings of red wine and hear howwonderful he is and how fantastic she is – and how theyʼre so happythey are together … You decide to come up with another new plan.Day 26: You wonder what sheʼs doing now. And now. And now. Youʼrelife feels very empty without her. You try to plug up the hole with otherthings – food, alcohol, videos, masturbation. You are not particularlysuccessful in this endeavour.

6Day 27: At 1.17am after watching a very soppy movie you send her atext. It says simply: “I love you. I hope itʼs all going well with (insertname).” The next morning – you regret this. You just want to give her abig hug. You want to give her a very big, long hug. In fact you want togive her such a big, long hug that you disappear into her arms and arenever seen again.Day 28: You wake up to find yourself experiencing a wave of righteousanger: “How can she do this to you after all youʼve been through?”“How can she say sheʼs in love with him already – they only just met?”“How dare she … ?” This lasts for most of the morning. You enjoy it.Day 30: You are on a bus, looking out the window. It is a fairly ordinaryday. You feel a strange expression on your face. You check yourreflection in the window. You are surprised to see it is a smile. Youthink this is probably a good thing. You are not exactly sure where thebus is going - but you decide to continue the journey.