REVELATION-final1

Live on love alone.…somehow (to my consternation, to my dismay, to my incomprehension) acquire material form,body, substance, as a mercurial incarnation of sorts, concrete yet incorporeal, palpable yet without definition,tangible yet without proof and without trace save for the meaning that is communicated to me with words yetwithout words, but without doubt or ambiguity, mint-fresh and bell-clear. I understand, but I don’tunderstand. I hear and see the message, but I fail to comprehend. How am I to ‘live on love alone’? How?Is it literal or merely figurative? Is love to be my guiding principle or my sustenance? I fall on my knees andweep, and weep, and weep. Because I now know, I know, I know. I know what I must do and I am afraid. Iam alone. I am human. I am of flesh and blood. I am a mortal and I’ve been told to be divine. I rise fromthe stirred sand mortally divine, divinely mortal.I have been surprised in a state of purity – having been purified by travails, isolation, fasting - andhave been transported to a higher state of purity. I am too moved, too alive, too stirred to the core and tootransformed to go back to sleep, too transformed to go back to life. Instead, I slide inside the kayak naked asthe night and paddle into the open to witness the sunrise without the obstruction of land, withoutobstructions of any kind; wanting to prolongue the state of transcendence and the feeling of exaltation,wanting to keep open the door to that “other world.” The other world being the truth of this world. I watchthe day being born from a sea of tranquility and with a heart of serenity.From the hush of the night rises a silent sun to bring forth a soundless day over a mute horizon andinto my quiet soul. From the blueness of night rises an orange sun to bring forth a yellow day over a crimsonhorizon and into my light-flooded soul. From the coolness of night rises a hot sun to bring forth a fresh dayover a crisp horizon and into my consecrated soul.The day finds me naked in the kayak, staring at the rising ring of fire with dried tears in my eyes. Itis a day like no other and a perfect image of the state of my being, as though nature is the reflection of mysoul, or its allegory; the moment in which to define myself against an entire universe.Today, the landscape is at my mercy and I am merciful. And the seascape is benign for I ambenevolent. The air is breathless and the water immovable and time stands still because I ordain it. I ambreathless and immovable because time has ordained it when it stood still. Nature is my meditation and I amits premeditation. Neither one subordinates the other in its psychology, in its reach. My text and nature’s areverbally identical and so the end result is irrefutable, indubitable truth: knowledge without antecedents. Theday is spurned by the spontaneous alliance and subliminal convergence of chance, nature’s and mine, whichbegot an analogue world of un-digital beauty, the pure nonsense and pure wisdom of nature, the chaos andthe order. Swept along by the inertia of our arrested fantasies, I feel solitaire yet accompanied, accompaniedin solitude. I have crossed oceans of time to find this moment or to be found by this moment. In a sense Ino longer know where I end and the ocean begins, where time ends and I begin.It is this otherworldly and inexplicable experience that has given me the strength to go withoutfood for weeks and even months at a time and has endowed me with the resolve to go against thegrain and against the entire international system, which is tantamount to going against the world.And it is this same source that I will draw upon to persuade the world to change course, just as Iwas asked to do in a second epiphany that I will describe in tomorrow’s update since it is almostmidnight and I am too tired to continue writing.God does work in mysterious ways, even on an agnostic like me.130