Biblical Counseling.pdf - Online Christian Library

G. We must receive talk of personal failure seriously and calmly.1. Don't act surprised. If the counselee says he is worthless, don't act surprised, or if hetells some sordid, immoral story or of some involvement, don't be shocked or showdismay, etc.2. The counselee may have failed. Often the person is experiencing great amounts of guiltbecause in many instances he is simply guilty. Don't minimize his guilt, for he willfeel all the more guilty. And to minimize his problem is to minimize his story andshow disinterest toward the seriousness of what he is saying.3. Take him at his word. But also realize that this is probably not the total story. Oftenonly the symptoms are being shared and the root problems are still buried orhidden. You must get to the real problem for it may be hidden behind the presentedproblem.H. We must give authoritative instruction.1. Christian, Biblical counseling involves authoritative instruction, both in content and inloving attitude on the part of the counselor. (See Proverbs 2:1-4, 8; 2:5-15; 1:8; 3:1, 4;6:20-23.) We must use the the Word of God in an authoritative manner as Solomonin the book of Proverbs gave authoritative instruction.2. Focus upon Scriptural living. Love will blossom as counselors focus their attentionupon purification of the heart, cleansing of the conscience, and building of genuinetrust. The trust must be toward God, His Word, and toward the counselor.I. We must be a good listener.1. Don't interrupt! Hear them out (Proverbs 18:13; James 1:19).2. Listen with the ears. Don't gaze elsewhere or arrange the desk, etc. Interrupt onlyif necessary.3. Listen for feelings, facts, overtones, undertones, hidden meanings. Listen selectively(relative to needs), listen responsively, empathetically, not proposing a solution untilyou have understood the problem. Don't be involved in planning a reply.J. We must rely on the power of God.1. Really rely on the working of the Holy Spirit and the power of God through you andthrough the Word of God. Don't just give "lip service" to this, but expect God tobe at work in the counseling session. Anticipate God being at work in the life and bewatching for it by faith (Hebrews 11:1, 6). Walk with the Holy Spirit.2. Begin and close every session with prayer. Let them know that you are praying forthem (Proverbs 2:6,7; 3:5,6; James 1:5). And really do pray for them in earnest,fervent supplication (Ephesians 6:18).K. We must give advice carefully, prayerfully, not hastily.1. It is easy to think that we must always have a quick answer for everything and thatwe always ought to have an answer.©2000, Revival in the Home Ministries 24