Notes from the Underground - Penn State University

Notes from the Undergroundbeen superfluous. Everything, however, passed satisfactorilyby a lazy and fascinating transition into the sphere of art,that is, into the beautiful forms of life, lying ready, largelystolen from the poets and novelists and adapted to all sortsof needs and uses. I, for instance, was triumphant over everyone;everyone, of course, was in dust and ashes, and wasforced spontaneously to recognise my superiority, and I forgavethem all. I was a poet and a grand gentleman, I fell inlove; I came in for countless millions and immediately devotedthem to humanity, and at the same time I confessedbefore all the people my shameful deeds, which, of course,were not merely shameful, but had in them much that was“sublime and beautiful” something in the Manfred style.Everyone would kiss me and weep (what idiots they wouldbe if they did not), while I should go barefoot and hungrypreaching new ideas and fighting a victorious Austerlitzagainst the obscurantists. Then the band would play a march,an amnesty would be declared, the Pope would agree to retirefrom Rome to Brazil; then there would be a ball for thewhole of Italy at the Villa Borghese on the shores of LakeComo, Lake Como being for that purpose transferred to theDostoyevskyneighbourhood of Rome; then would come a scene in thebushes, and so on, and so on—as though you did not knowall about it? You will say that it is vulgar and contemptible todrag all this into public after all the tears and transports whichI have myself confessed. But why is it contemptible? Canyou imagine that I am ashamed of it all, and that it wasstupider than anything in your life, gentlemen? And I canassure you that some of these fancies were by no means badlycomposed …. It did not all happen on the shores of LakeComo. And yet you are right—it really is vulgar and contemptible.And most contemptible of all it is that now I amattempting to justify myself to you. And even more contemptiblethan that is my making this remark now. But that’senough, or there will be no end to it; each step will be morecontemptible than the last …. I could never stand more thanthree months of dreaming at a time without feeling an irresistibledesire to plunge into society. To plunge into societymeant to visit my superior at the office, Anton AntonitchSyetotchkin. He was the only permanent acquaintance I havehad in my life, and I wonder at the fact myself now. But Ionly went to see him when that phase came over me, and49