First Ever E-Magazine | December 2011 | www ... - Oshwal Centre

~ Neuro-diversity ~made my son’s life hell. Why can’t you do that, so and socan do it, why did you say that, you have to work harder.In my ignorance or stupidity, I would listen to my friends,do it like this, make him do that….. Then I would questionmy son, why can you not do t hat maths or understandwhat you have just read…. The list goes on and so didthe endless appointments with doctors, educationalpsychologists, therapists, diets, supplements, etc.I had waited so long for this child, why would there besomething wrong with him? Anything I found innewspapers, the internet, word of mouth, I took him to. Ispent a f ortune. Why? Because I was in denial that mychild could be different to what society calls normal. I sawan advert for a learning centre that could help withlearning difficulties and as always, picked up the phone,made an appointment, and off we went.This time, an honest and life changing opinion was given.I was told he had ‘mild learning difficulties’ anddevelopmental delay. He needed to be in a school thatcaters for this and not the mainstream academic schoolsthat I had been trying to fit him into. These were added tothe labels of dyspraxia, autism, semantic and pragmaticlanguage difficulties, and epilepsy that he already carried.He is not being difficult, lazy or anything else that I hadthought of him or been told about him from school, fellowparents and friends. He was doing his best and I had toaccept his limitations. However, I was also told that wecan teach him to stretch his own ability and nurture hisstrengths to build on his skills. That was the day that Igrieved and breathed a sigh of relief at the same time. Sodid my son (probably) because I backed off! MYIGNORANCE MUST HAVE MADE LIFE HELL FOR HIM.Life became enjoyable again. I accepted him for what heis and let him enjoy his life for himself not for what Iwanted for him. The journey since has not been easy andhas brought many hurdles with joyous moments too andcontinues to do so.Each day, I savour the fact that fate brought thiswonderful human being into our lives and h as enrichedour lives and made us stronger, to the extent that nobooks, no other person, no material things could ever do.Today, he is a f ervent 19 year old facing life in the bestway he can, accepting that he is different but also doinghis best to ‘fit into our society’. I no longer worry aboutwhat people may think about his behaviour or hisachievements because they are the ignorant ones and wehave nothing to be as hamed of. I hold my head up highand savour every thing he achieves because he hasworked so hard to do it, it is worth more than anyuniversity degree or any other sign of success thatsociety measures with. Each small success that he has,we celebrate as if he has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Hemay not conform to ‘society’s norm’ but he has specialqualities that many don’t have. He is the most caringperson I know. He has taught me so much about life thatno book or educational establishment could have done.Seven years later, after bringing my son home and aftermuch deliberation of whether we should have anotherchild in the family or not, would it be fair on our son, etc.,once again, fate played a p art and after a lengthyadoption procedure, we brought my daughter home. Thistime, I didn’t bring home with her, my own plans of herfuture mapped out in the same way. But I certainly didpray at the back of my mind that this child will be ‘normal’or perhaps not have any disabilities because ‘I can’tcope’. Well, I got my comeuppance for that thoughtbecause beautiful and intelligent as she is, she started toshow signs of something not being right. Totally differentto my son though. Totally with it, at 12 years old, sociallyand emotionally much more able but academically, herewe go…. My first thoughts were oh no, I can’t do thisagain. But somehow, we always get the strength to dealwith what life throws at us. She has difficulty with workingat speed, her reading and writing skills do not match herverbal ability. Again, teachers used to say, she will neverbe academic, she lacks confidence, she doesn’t try hardenough….. The list goes on. But I am now wiser. Shecannot do it because there is a real barrier to herlearning. We have found the right school that nurturesand brings out the best in her. What label does this childcarry? I have another child that is neuro-diverse but in adifferent way to my son. She is dyslexic.So here you have it, WE ARE THE PROUD PARENTSOF TWO NEURO-DIVERSE CHILDREN!! My childrenhave taken me on a journey which has resulted in my life,career and out look being completely different to thatperson who started motherhood with ‘an ideal’ picture oflife. I share my life with others quite openly because wehave nothing to be as hamed of. By sharing, I learn somuch about helping my children and often, help otherswho are lost and d o not know what they can do. I stillhave a lot to learn.Back to the list of famous people.Were you going to say all those people I named are allneuro-diverse? Yes they are all dyslexic. Does thatchange your opinion of them? Is dyslexia a disability or anability?Neurodiversity (ND) refers to a r ange of conditions thatcause people to process information differently from theway the majority of people do. It includes dyspraxia, AD(H)D, Asperger's syndrome, dyscalculia and dyslexia.These are sometimes called Specific Learning Difficultiesor differences.Oshwal News E-Magazine of the O.A.U.K. 18 December 2011 Edition