'Volume 16 – The People's Choice' - The Woody Back to School Unit

The People’s Choicecharge of music at the time. Ms Whitton arranged forher to rehearse with various local symphonyorchestras and Debs was often given leave to giverecitals. Not that her popularity with the Music Dameoffered her any immunity from being beaten with theviolin bow.Ms Whitton was a hard-core member of theRadical Right and notoriously prolific with her bow.The Woody Wags nicknamed her the WackyWhackster due to the bizarre and dramatic set-upsshe used during her beatings.She would bend a gal over the piano stool andthen crank up gypsy music on her old gramophone.Falling into an apparent religious frenzy she wouldwave her arms around in wild abandon, intermittentlyslashing the bow down with considerable force. Alicking from the Whackster could take as long as tenfull minutes, a long time to be prostrated face downover a piano stool.Although Deborah was her star pupil herbehavior was far too appalling to avoid the occasionalinteraction between the bow and her bumbags.Deborah accepted the beatings as the routine price ofmega-minxdom. However, midway through the fourthyear of Deborah’s sentence the incident known inWoody lore as the Fabulous Fart would provecalamitous for Debs.Ms Whitton’s reaction to Deborah unleashing askirt flapping, bumbag straining, gargantuan guff hadbeen formidable. She had dragged Debs over herknee, yanked down her bumbags and whipped hertirelessly with a swishy conductor’s baton.