The Body in the Basement - Alex Broun

54SOLDIER:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:Johnny Turk ? You’re schemin’with him.No silly, not Johnny Turk. Johnny … something to do with money.Old guy but his hair’s still jet black. Must dye it.Cash.Johnny Cash that’s it. (SINGING) “I shot a man in Reno, just to watchhim die.” Or in my case (SINGING AGAIN) “I shot my son in theliving room just to see how it feels.” What do you reckon ?SUDDENLY THERE IS A LOUD THUMP FROM BELOW THE STAGE.EILEEN: What the crap was that ?SOLDIER:MAX:They’ve found me. You told them where I was.I don’t think that was artillery Jez.ANOTHER LOUDER THUMP FROM BELOW THE STAGE.EILEEN:MAX :Sounds like it’s coming from the basement.But we don’t have a basement any more.THE THUMP AGAIN, LOUDER ONCE MORE.SOLDIER:Take cover.THE SOLDIER CRAWLS ACROSS THE FLOOR AND HIDES UNDERTHE TABLE.EILEEN:Sounds like someone’s coming up the stairs.MAX: Yes, but who ?THUMP AGAIN, STILL LOUDER.EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:Maybe she’s not …No, she was definitely … … her body was in that corner, her head wasin the other and her legs were (POINTING UP) …Spare me the details please.THUMP AGAIN, EVEN LOUDER.SOLDIER:You won’t get me you bastards. I ain’t dying for those Pommie traitors.