The Body in the Basement - Alex Broun

25MAX:And due to more public pressure they pulled the troops out of Iraq,which made the terrorists happy I guess – or maybe they just caughtthem – and so no more bombs. On trains. Anymore.EILLEN LOOKS AT MAX. PAUSE.EILEEN:And you want me - to go to this … country - on holiday ? Not only arethey run by socialists and have terrorists roaming the streets – not tomention the trains – but they then give in to these terrorists and taketheir troops out of bad countries like Iraq so maniacs like SaddamHussein and Osama bin Laden can get off scot free and get moreterrorists to come to good countries like ours and blow up more trainsso more wives’ husbands’ don’t come home for the dinner she spentone hour and fifty six minutes making. Enough ! Give me the phone –we’re switching to Sweden.THERE IS A SOUND OF SCUTTLING BENEATH THEM. EILEEN’SHEAD SUDDENLY JERKS TOWARDS THE BACK WALL.EILEEN: What was that ?MAX: What ?EILEEN:That noise. It sounded like a little scuttling.SCUTTLING AGAIN.EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:There it goes again.I didn’t hear anything.Yes. A distinct scuttling.I still can’t hear it.You going deaf as well ? We need to get your ears checked.THE SCUTTLING GETS LOUDER.EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:Bloody hell ! That was loud. I think it’s coming from the basement.I didn’t even know we had a basement.Well we do – and there’s something down there. Something that scuttles.MAX: Funny I didn’t know about this basement. Where is it ?EILEEN:You idiot. It’s a basement. Where do you think it is ? It’s in the basement.AGAIN LOUD SCUTTLING.