The Body in the Basement - Alex Broun
The Body in the Basement - Alex Broun The Body in the Basement - Alex Broun
12EILEEN: Is that your final answer ?MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:Yes.No ! Wrong, wrong, wrong. Ha, ha – I got you. Lined him up andknocked him down. Just like that bitch Renee today.I did get four right.She thought she had me but I – I smashed her. Over weight, BMWdriving – fake redhead. Should’ve seen her reaching for my swervingserve. Like a whale. A beached whale, with little flippers. Face brightred, like her hair, tits almost flopping out of her stupid white dress. Shewearing white – yeah right. Little porky flippers flailing around.(MAKING WHALE SOUND) Arp, arp, arp.Eileen.You know I heard she had an affair with boy who came to fix heroven. He fixed more than that. The oven boy. And he was Lebanese !Ugh !MAX: (LOUD) Dearest !EILEEN IS SILENT.MAX: I’m happy for you to re-live today’s grand triumph but I must know –(HOLDING UP BOWL) what is it ?EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:Oh, sautéed beef, chicken and chorizo with a slightly sweet tomato sauce.Ropa Vieja.Too late skinny. The rabbit has flown.I’ll know next time.EILEEN: Next time is for losers – which you are ! Ha, ha, ha !EILEEN IS ONCE AGAIN INCHES FROM MAX’S FACE.MAX: Uh, darling ?EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:Yes darling.You do seem very …Yes.Excitable tonight.
13EILEEN:MAX:Must’ve been that hot and heavy tango. Got me all worked up. So whatare you going to do about it ?Dinner is on the table.EILEEN LIES DOWN ON THE TABLE, SQUEEZING HERSELFBETWEEN THE BOWLS.EILEEN: So what ?EILEEN STICKS HER HAND INTO ONE OF THE BOWLS AND COMESUP WITH TOMATO SAUCE DRIPPING DOWN HER FINGER. SHEHOLDS THE FINGER UP IN FRONT OF MAX’S FACE AND STARTSLICKING OFF THE SAUCE.EILEEN: What’s the matter ? Aren’t you hungry ?SUDDENLY THE PHONE RINGS.EILEEN:Leave it.MAX STARTS TO GET UP.EILEEN:(GRABBING HIM) I said – let it ring. We’re busy.THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN.MAX:(WRESTLING FREE) It could be important.EILEEN LETS OUT A FRUSTRATED GROAN. MAX GOES TOANSWER THE PHONE.MAX:(ANSWERING) Hello./ Oh hello Yazz.EILEEN FRANTICALLY MAKES SIGNS FOR MAX NOT TO TELL THECALLER SHE’S HOME.MAX: Just having dinner. /Yes she’s here. Would you like me to get her ?EILEEN CONTINUES TO MAKE SIGNS SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK.MAX:Darling, it’s Yasmine.STILL MORE SIGNS FROM EILEEN.MAX:EILEEN:(TO PHONE) Hold on Yazz. Your mother is trying to tell mesomething. (TO EILEEN) What is it darling ?Never mind.
- Page 1 and 2: 1The Bodyin theBasementA Suburban C
- Page 3 and 4: 3Lights up on EILEEN making the fin
- Page 5 and 6: 5EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:You c
- Page 7 and 8: 7EILEEN:But then you spoiled it by
- Page 9 and 10: 9EILEEN IS FLUSHED AND BREATHLESS,
- Page 11: 11EILEEN: What kind ?MAX:EILEEN:MAX
- Page 15 and 16: 15MAX: Why ever not ?EILEEN:MAX:EIL
- Page 17 and 18: 17MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:
- Page 19 and 20: 19EILEEN:MAX:Tennis. Oh you know ?
- Page 21 and 22: 21EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:
- Page 23 and 24: 23MAX:EILEEN:Some bread.No - it’s
- Page 25 and 26: 25MAX:And due to more public pressu
- Page 27 and 28: 27MAX:I’ll need a torch. As you s
- Page 29 and 30: 29EILEEN:Back so soon.THE DOOR STOP
- Page 31 and 32: 31EILEEN: Exactly. So are you going
- Page 33 and 34: 33EILEEN: A … A … wo - … Wo -
- Page 35 and 36: 35MAX:So I pressed on. Small steps
- Page 37 and 38: 37EILEEN:Yes I am. Scrounging aroun
- Page 39 and 40: 39EILEEN: Well you couldn’t reall
- Page 41 and 42: 41MAX:EILEEN:MAX:I’m not indulgin
- Page 43 and 44: 43EILEEN:That’s telling him.THE M
- Page 45 and 46: 45EILEEN:Ooooh - that’s gotta hur
- Page 47 and 48: 47MAN IN BLACK:One more thing.HE GO
- Page 49 and 50: 49EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:I was going
- Page 51 and 52: 51EILEEN:MAX:SOLDIER:EILEEN:SOLDIER
- Page 53 and 54: 53MAX:EILEEN:SOLDIER:Eileen, quiet.
- Page 55 and 56: 55THE SOLDIER BEGINS TO SING “WAL
- Page 57 and 58: 57MAX:You have to re-load.EILEEN: H
- Page 59 and 60: 59EILEEN:(CALLING AFTER THEM) Don
12EILEEN: Is that your f<strong>in</strong>al answer ?MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:Yes.No ! Wrong, wrong, wrong. Ha, ha – I got you. L<strong>in</strong>ed him up andknocked him down. Just like that bitch Renee today.I did get four right.She thought she had me but I – I smashed her. Over weight, BMWdriv<strong>in</strong>g – fake redhead. Should’ve seen her reach<strong>in</strong>g for my swerv<strong>in</strong>gserve. Like a whale. A beached whale, with little flippers. Face brightred, like her hair, tits almost flopp<strong>in</strong>g out of her stupid white dress. Shewear<strong>in</strong>g white – yeah right. Little porky flippers flail<strong>in</strong>g around.(MAKING WHALE SOUND) Arp, arp, arp.Eileen.You know I heard she had an affair with boy who came to fix heroven. He fixed more than that. <strong>The</strong> oven boy. And he was Lebanese !Ugh !MAX: (LOUD) Dearest !EILEEN IS SILENT.MAX: I’m happy for you to re-live today’s grand triumph but I must know –(HOLDING UP BOWL) what is it ?EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:Oh, sautéed beef, chicken and chorizo with a slightly sweet tomato sauce.Ropa Vieja.Too late sk<strong>in</strong>ny. <strong>The</strong> rabbit has flown.I’ll know next time.EILEEN: Next time is for losers – which you are ! Ha, ha, ha !EILEEN IS ONCE AGAIN INCHES FROM MAX’S FACE.MAX: Uh, darl<strong>in</strong>g ?EILEEN:MAX:EILEEN:MAX:Yes darl<strong>in</strong>g.You do seem very …Yes.Excitable tonight.
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