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inashot thedarkVeronica, MiaMoore, aVaYou were regulars with the Amazingorganization and I would loveto meet up with you again. Hopeto hear from one of you soon.When: Friday, March 14, 2008.Where: Northwest Austin. You:Woman. Me: Man. #905713central MarketYou:car troubles at Central Market.I offered to help. You paid sweetcompliment.I didn’t know howto continue conversation.I’veNEVER posted something likethis before,why not give it a shot!When: Sunday, December 30,2012. Where: Central Market.You: Man. Me: Woman. #905712i lost youMy heart beats against thewardrobe I hear the closing doorBeats against the window Tell mehow long, tell me how long When:Monday, December 3, 2012.Where: Austin. You: Woman. Me:Woman. #905711tracing coMetsOn a cool night, we lay gazinginto the open sky full of stars andpossibilities. Does such beautydisappear or is it out there waitingto be found again? When: Thursday,November 1, 2012. Where:Everywhere. You: Woman. Me:Woman. #905710Jodi froM PennsylVaniaWe met in line at Target. Youliked my shoes, we talked. It feltso comfortable I almost askedfor your number but shook yourhand instead. Was somethingthere? When: Sunday, December23, 2012. Where: Target. You:Woman. Me: Woman. #905709freda’s restaurant(again)We talked previously at Freda’sand tonight. You said I look likesomeone who owns a place by thelake that you frequent. I would liketo meet you. When: Thursday,January 3, 2013. Where: Freda’sRestauranta. You: Woman. Me:Man. #905708gene Johnson Mechanic‘00 Saturn girl here.I always enjoyconversing w/you but there neverseems to be an appropriate time tostate we should hang.Thought thisangle might be a good attempt.When: Thursday, December 27,2012. Where: Gene Johnson AutomotiveService Manor Rd. You:Man. Me: Woman. #905707Polar Bear sweetieLong black hair,cute polka dot bikiniwith a sissy ruffle. I didn’t wantto interrupt your picture taking.Coffee? When: Tuesday, January1, 2013. Where: Barton Springs.You: Woman. Me: Man. #905706swing at haddington’sMinutes to midnight at the endof 2012; we were getting champagneat the end of a bar at a jazzjoint on Sixth. I had a coat and tie...When: Monday, December 31,2012. Where: Haddington’s. You:Man. Me: Man. #905705new Mexico PlatesI saw you in the check out line atAcademy Brodie. I passed youin the parking lot and didn’t sayanything. I smiled, you drove bybut didn’t stop When: Thursday,December 20, 2012. Where: AcademyBrodie. You: Woman. Me:Man. #905704TheLuv doc“Contagion!”Dear LuvDoc,My workplace is mostly cubiclesand it seems that every day oneor more of my co-workers cometo work sick. What is wrong withpeople?! This is supposed to bethe worst flu season in years, andall around me people are sneezingand coughing. They all eitherclaim that they aren’t contagiousor they have too much work to do. Iwant to scream at them to go home!How should I protect myself? Idon’t want to have to walk aroundin a surgical mask, but I am consideringit.SeriouSly want companioni’m really interesting and developed.looking for love. wink wink. ask me over.Seriouslytogether, 36-SashaI feel you, Sasha. Sick people suck – well, except forFerris Bueller. He behaved responsibly and took the day off.Unfortunately, most people don’t have Bueller-sized balls. In fact,more than half of the population doesn’t have balls at all. No, it’snot the result of some horrifying nut-eating virus but the productof a cosmic chromosomal crapshoot. You’re either packing a pair,or you’re not. Either way, there isn’t much you can do about it. Alot of people feel that way about diseases. You either get them oryou don’t. It is exactly that type of cavalier attitude towards diseasethat drives germophobes bonkers. For instance, I’m prettysure that one out of six people here at the Chronicle have genitalherpes. WTF! Right? That’s like nine people! How do I know thatone of them isn’t secretly wiping his dick on the water fountain?I’m pretty sure there are several diabetic people here, too. I knowthat’s not necessarily infectious, but someone keeps leavingboxes of doughnuts in the kitchen. I might as well add in periodontaldisease – although I guess that’s to be expected with allthe doughnuts. Then, of course, there are those people who feelthey are so indispensable that they have to come into work eventhough they just got back from a bareback monkey-fucking expeditionon the Ebola River. Yeah, if Peter doesn’t finish those coversheets for the TPS reports, business will grind to a halt. Thetruth is, Sasha, that most of us are infected with fear: fear that ifwe don’t show up for work, the boss will find someone who will.Just like everything else in the workplace, fear is top down. Mysuggestion to you is to not live in fear. If you can’t manage that, goahead and buy that surgical mask and some Handi Wipes.need Some advice from the luv doc?send your questions to luvdoc@austinchronicle.comfree!Meet ChroniCleReadeRs who shaReyouR activitiesand interestsProfile of the WeekBROWSE through tons more pics and profiles ataustinchronicle.com/personalsCOMIXMr. SMarty PantS KnOWS93 percent of all people ever born have died.The UK still has 13,000 black-and-white TVs, according to theTV Licensing authority.Extreme décolletage was well-received in the English courtthroughout the 1620s, and returned to haute couture in the 1680s,too. Woodcuts of Queen Mary II, who took the throne in 1689, showthe monarch with her breasts exposed (see historytoday.com).H.W. Fowler divided the English-speaking world into fiveclasses: 1) those who neither know nor care what a splitinfinitive is; 2) those who do not know, but care very much;3) those who know and condemn; 4) those who know andapprove; and 5) those who know and distinguish.Dancing with the Stars’ Carrie Ann Inaba has six cats:Boxer, Cookie, Squeaker, Taz Zeus, Mia Bubble, and Miley.At left is information that Mr.Smarty Pants read in a book, amagazine, or the newspaper;heard on the radio; saw on television;or overheard at a party.Got facts? Write to Mr. SmartyPants at the Chronicle, or emailmrpants@austinchronicle.com.a u s t i n c h r o n i c l e . c o m JANUARY 18, 2013 T H E A U S T I N C H R O N I C L E 79