My life : a record of events and opinions - Wallace-online.org

CHAPTER XXIIIMY CHARACTER—NEW IDEASI HAVE already given an estimate of my characterwhen I came of age. I will now make a few furtherremarks upon it as modified by my changed views oflife, owing to my becoming convinced of the realityof a spirit world and a future state of existence.Up to middle age, and especially during the firstdecade after my return from the East, I was somuchdisinclined to the society of uncongenial and commonplacepeople that my natural reserve and coldness ofmanner often amounted, I am afraid, to rudeness. Ifound it impossible, as I have done all my life, tomake conversation with such people, or even to replypolitely to their trivial remarks. I therefore oftenappeared gloomy when I was merely bored. I foundit impossible, as some one had said, to tolerate foolsgladly ; while, owing to my deficient language-faculty,talking without having anything to say, and merelyfor poHteness or to pass the time, was most difficultand disagreeable. Hence I was thought to be proudor conceited. But later on, as I came to see thebaneful influence of our wrong system of educationand of society, I began to realize that people whocould talk of nothing but the trivial amusements ofan empty mind were the victims of these social