Staffrider Vol.3 No.4 Dec-Jan 1980 - DISA

hair on his head was shiny black and sowas his beard, except that it was bushy.'Yes, I do like it there,' I said.'How do you find your madam?'Mr Black Beard went on.'I think she is kind,' I said.(At that moment my madam wasvisiting the loo.)'And she thinks you are a good girl,'he smiled.'I'm glad.' I sort of blushed. I wasnot very sure where this interrogationwas leading.'She tells me you are interested injournalism,' an elderly lady said smiling.'That's true.' I smiled too, not becauseI felt like smiling but becauseeveryone in the lounge wore a smile.'How would you feel if you couldbecome a famous journalist?' she wenton.'I don't know.'This called for a good laugh fromeveryone in the house. Some had to drytheir eyes, which were laughing too.Walk-tall was the first to recover becauseshe did not laugh much. Apparentlyshe was the kind of person whowould like to keep her teeth inside if itwere not for her upper lip that wasshort and acted against her. She wascollected and her face was expressionlesswhen she asked me this question:'How do you feel about politics?'My! The change in the talk about lifein general was noticeable, to me inparticular . . .'Where were you during the 1976students' riot?''Would you rather the blacks ruledthis country?'What a lot of questions! I did notknow which one to consider first, so Idecided, 'I do not know much aboutpolitics,' was the right answer.Then Granny said, 'Do you knowanything about the Azapo?''I know the name of the organisationand that's all,' I replied. I was notpleased at all. We were not talking freely.I was being interrogated and thatmade me feel bad, because I was notvery sure about how to tackle this and Iwas getting restless.'What do you think of Mugabe?'came another bullet from Black Beard.This put everybody on the alert, searchingfor something in my face.'I do not understand' — and I meantjust that.'I mean, do you think he is suitablefor his position?' explained Black Beard,but I was more surprised than before.'Yes, do you think otherwise?'Granny had something to say beforehe could answer me: 'I think he is goingto make people starve to death! All hewants to do is get rich, famous andhappy with his family.' She said thiswith her chin high in the air.One man, who had been quiet allalong, had something to say too: 'Heenjoys sitting down and talking nonsenseon the television.' He wore amocking smile on his face.'Making many promises he will neverfulfill,' Black Beard put in.'Black South Africans think he isgreat,' said Walk-tall, and they all burstout laughing.'You people are still going to suffer.'This one was directed at me by Granny,who went on to say. 'People who wantto help you, people who understand thesituation in this country, you call "sellouts".''Yes, this is strange,' said Walk-Tall.'These words "sell-out" and "puppet"are in the air and they are directed atthe wrong people.''You never know how these peoplesee things,' added Black Beard.My madam had been very quiet, shehad been nodding her head in agreementand laughing. Now she decided to saysomething: 'It is not a matter of seeingthings, they are just narrow-minded . . .'Up to now they had been talkingamong themselves, not to me, but I hada question and so I voiced it: 'Who arethese people who are wrongly calledsell-outs and puppets?'I was answered almost immediatelyby Walk-Tall: 'Gatsha Buthelezi, Matanzima. . . 'My madam felt she had not finishedand so she helped her: 'Mangope.''Sebe.' So the quiet guy had a namein mind too. 'I do not know muchabout Mphephu, but he is not a bad guyeither,' he said. 'Do you also think theyare "sell-outs"?'Before I could say anything, BlackBeard came to my aid: 'That is obvious,all girls of her age think so.'But I still had something to say: 'Ihappen to have lived in the Transkeiwhich means that I know more aboutthe conditions there than you do.''We do not have to stay there toknow how happy people are there.'That was my madam.'It is so unfortunate for Matanzima,who does his best just for them, thatthey do not see things his way,' saidWalk-Tall. 'It is always the case, theblack people do not know who theirtrue leaders are.''Because they are narrow-minded,their minds are just like this,' said mymadam, using her forefingers to showhow narrow our minds are. 'All theywant is communism!' she went on.'That's one thing I hate!' Granny saidnervously.'I don't care what they do withthemselves. The moment they bringcommunists into this country we won'thave the smallest worry. We'll just flyback to Europe,' the quiet man said andI could see that he really did not care.Walk-Tall felt he had not finished hisspeech and she did the job for him: 'Wewill leave them crying for our returnjust like the people in Mozambique.''They are too narrow-minded to seethat — just bloody stupid,' my madamagreed.'These people do not know how tolive in the first place,' Granny retortedand this made me feel kind of mischievousso I said, 'Maybe they will knowhow to live in the second place.'Some were amused and some wereannoyed at such a foolish comment.'This girl of yours couldn't live in Irelandnor in Switzerland.''She could not afford to go thereanyway.'I sat there looking from speaker tospeaker and smiling from time to time. Iwas not given a chance to say anythingand so I just pushed my speech in anywherewhen I felt like it.'How are things up there?' I askedBlack Beard.'In Ireland? Dear God! Things arejust fine there ... I mean everybodyrespects each other. People are kind andsensible. It's not like this mad country.''That's true, people are mad in thiscountry, I'm telling you.' That wasGranny. 'I remember at my home, wewould leave the windows wide open andno one would come in to steal ourthings,' she went on.And this made my madam remembersomething too.'That's true, look at what Tshaka andother fools like him did to the people.''That's true, look at what Hitler andother fools like him did to the people.' Isimply had to say this, even if my opinionwas not asked for. The effect wastremendous.'This girl is mad. By God she is!' thequiet guy shouted, standing up and sittingdown again almost immediately.He was not the quiet guy anymore. Ilater learned that he was German.'I'm sorry, I did not mean to bemad.' I had to make my apologies;seeing the cloudy expression on his face.'My dear girl, if I were you I wouldthank God that I had lovely clothes likethese and a necklace like the one youhave on.'(My madam had no overall for me soI was working in my own clothes).'Her belly is full and there is a roofover her head, that's all that counts,'Granny said, and Black Beard felt that Ididn't know life yet — that I had neversuffered.'Yes, she cannot believe it when Isay I came from a very poor family. Iremember once when we lived on potatoesday in and day out for a wholeContinued on page 1412 STAFFRIDER, DECEMBER 1980/JANUARY 1981