Methods-of-Self-Care

Powering Your Babe Vibes:ME T HOD SOFSELF CAREBY JODIE LAYNE & KARA HAUPT

#babevibes#methodsofselfcareBabe Vibes, at its core, is self care. Self care is an action,as is calling yourself a babe and speaking to yourself withaffection and love. You are a powerful, mighty babe whodeserves radical care and love. Take care (of yourself).A BABE VIBES PUBLICATION© Babe Vibes 2014babevibes.com

TAKE CARE(OF YOURSELF)Self care is an idea that hasoften inspired guilt, shame,and overwhelm in my life.I grew up in a religiousenvironment that taughtme to believe the self wasthe enemy — the ultimatehurdling block between meand God (“happiness”). I wassupposed to give up myself,and give it to God and others,without any direction on howto do this, or at least anyway to do this without beingoverwhelmed with disgustwith myself. I was taught Iwasn’t worthy of God’s loveand that I should live my lifewith that knowledge, with a“gratitude” that even thoughI was despicable, God lovedme anyway. This is a verydangerous way to think,this sort of self-awarenesscan and will affect how you“let” people treat you andit removes all tenderness,grace, and forgiveness tooneself. There wasn’t anyacknowledgement thatenvironment and cultureteach a lot of untrue anddangerous things aboutcertain groups, particularlywomen and young women,and how the reasons you feelbad about yourself are trulynot your fault, but ideas thathave been taught to you sincebirth.Later on after I left that wayof thinking, I was still waryof self love and self care. Itmade me feel inadequate.“Everyone is beautiful”rhetoric can only go so far,particularly in a world wheredaily experience — andthe systems that supportit — exercise the exactopposite. It took me a whileto understand my aversionto self-love, until I realizedthat I wanted confirmationthat it wasn’t my “silly,stupid, woman-brain”creating these feelings, butrather the very real systemof misogyny. I heard oncethat self care was an action,not a final place of being andthat really shook me. Selfcare and self love are actionsyou can perform and oftentimes they will change howyou feel, but if you don’tfeel it that’s okay too. I alsohad to remember that eventhough I “officially” left thatway of thinking, that it didn’tmean I was going to unlearnBY KARA

everything I had believed formost of my life. Unlearningtoxic ideas about people andabout yourself takes timeand it takes patience whenyour logic doesn’t match yourfeelings, or experience.I also thought too much selflovewould make me stagnantand lazy. I’ve often been veryhard on myself. I’ve alwaysbeen a go-getter, a creator ofprojects and goals. I often, andunfortunately, find my selfworththere and when I don’tmeasure up, whether thatbe through procrastinationor lack of time, I would takemyself to town. I would (andwill) speak negatively, wordslike “God, Kara get your shittogether. You had all thattime, why didn’t you do it.You are pathetic. You arewasting your talent. You area fraud. You can do this,but you’re not, why the fucknot, you are ridiculous” andthere is this part of me thatthinks this rhetoric will teachme, that it will be the rightkind of “tough love” to finallyshow me, that I will get fed upand CHANGE. Except, I doget fed up, but I simply shutdown. I get so paralyzed that Icannot do anything and I endup feeling more shitty aboutmyself and the cycle beginsagain. In those moments I amnot caring for myself. I’m notlistening to what I need, orwhat I want, and it very rarelyproduces a solution.At the beginning of this year Istarted to police how I spoketo myself when it came to mywork and my work ethic. Iadded smiley faces to notesI’d write myself, I told myselfit was okay that I was tired orthat I didn’t want to work onsomething, I started to speakto myself with the tendernessthat I speak to my friends.What’s funny too is that thishas been the most productiveyear of my life. I stoppedshutting down when I gotoverwhelmed, I was eitherable to speak to myself withfrankness and kindness and“Self care is the things Ido and things I don’t do.”re-focus or I stepped awayand relaxed. I also stoppedblaming myself and my “badwork habits” for my anxiety,I acknowledge that it is aseparate entity out of mycontrol. They work togethercertainly, but my “laziness”was not the reason for myanxiety.Self care, and the methodsthat facilitate it, are uniqueto every person. Self careis a practice, just like artmakingor athleticism, it hasto be exercised and it hasto be customized. My selfcare manifests as radicalgentleness in the way I speakto and think of myself, in todolists, in late night cleaningsessions, long showers,glasses of ice water, crying,going to bed early, etc. Selfcare is the things I do and it’sthe things I don’t do. I don’tdrink espresso because itmakes me feel more anxious,I don’t keep people in my lifethat exhaust me, I don’t stayout late consistently etc. Forme, self care is both radicalgentleness (to myself) anddefensive boundaries (to theworld).Self care is an action, onethat does not berate whenfeelings don’t coincide withthe feeling. But, often — andquite wonderfully — they canchange. Self care changes theway you see the world andyourself. You deserve to treatyourself with the kindness andthe care you exercise towardothers.Take care (of yourself), babe.

BY JODIENOTHING MATTERSBUT YOU, BABEWhat would you do for yourbest friend when they’rehaving a shitty day/week/month/year/life? How aboutyour partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? Would youtell them to suck it up, stopmoping around, and forgeahead? Or would you tell themthat it’s okay if other peoplesay and do things that makeyou feel small and weak, thatit’s okay to be run down andtired and triggered?You’d probably bring thema coffee or a magazine oressential oils or bourbon orcrystals or ice cream or yourbest listening ears. You’dprobably encourage them tofeel whatever they neededto feel, without reason andwithout judgement. You’dprobably listen to them cryor take them out to distractthem or maybe just sit withthem. You’d send them a textwith the funniest combinationof emojis possible and puppyvideos and articles aboutresilience.Why are we so quick to feelaffection for and to let ourhearts ache and bleed for oneanother, but not for ourselves?Why can’t you be your ownbest babe and your ownfavorite person in the world?Feel deeply about yourself.Show it in the best way youknow how. You don’t have todraw a bubble bath or throwyourself a parade — just feeltenderness towards the babeinside of you and let yourselfreceive it.Caring for myself resistseverything I’ve been taughtabout not being worthyenough. Caring for myselfputs the determination of myown value in my hands. Selfcareis a big fuck you to thekyriarchy and all the systemsof oppression that affect mylife. Self-care keeps me aliveand gives me permission totake up space. It nurtures myvoice, validates my pain andpleasure. It keeps me aliveand sustains me for anotherday. Every day I’m alive I cancall out sexism, homophobia,transphobia, racism, fatshaming, heterosexism,ableism, and ageism.Self-care isn’t just massagesand silly tv shows and longwalks and ice water andorgasms. It’s work: knock ‘emdown, drag ‘em out work thatmeans diving down into the

PUT YOURSELF FIRST...dark and twisty parts of yourselfthat are tender and raw or thatare bruised and covered in scartissue.It means looking at the thingsthat break you down andcounteract them with thingsthat build you up. It meanslooking at the truest essence ofyourself and seeing what theyneed.Seeing the barriers that societyand your family and yourbeliefs about who you are andwhat you’re allowed to do andwhat you’re allowed to wanthave set up between you andyour strongest, bravest self iscrucial to self care. It’s tearingthrough those barriers ordigging under them or buildinga bridge over them or washingthem away with your tears. It’schecking in every day. It’s sayingno to things that break youragreement for self care withyourself. It’s saying no to thepeople who make you feel smalland unworthy. It’s saying yes toyour own pleasure, yes to yourselfishness, yes to your selfpreservation.Nothing matters but you, babe.Nothing matters except howyou get yourself through.Community, your band ofbabes, and family (both birthand chosen) is important ashell. They’re the supports thatyou need, the people who canhold you accountable for yourown self care. You’ll need tosupport them too, when youcan. We often can’t discern ourown patterns from being rightin the sticky, gooey, good messof our own lives. We need thatoutside perspective.Being able to real talk andhaving babes who will lay it allout there for you is important.However, knowing when youcan’t bleed for someone andknowing when your capacity totruly help others is diminishedis also a gift. Self-care iscommunity, but it’s not givingmore than you can afford. Asmuch as we expect our friendsto be honest with us, we need...TO MAKE THOSE BABE VIBES LAST

“Caring formyself resistseverything I’veb e e n t a u g h tabout notbeing worthyenough.”to be honest with them abouthow emotionally available wecan be.Women are socialized toassume the role of caregiversfrom an early age. We’resupposed to play houseinstead of office. We’re meantlove our dolls and stuffedanimals instead of our legosets. We’re expected to putothers first, magically intuitand take care of the emotionalneeds of others. Some babesadopt this role naturally — theway that they love is warriorlike.There are some of us whoadopt this begrudgingly or notat all.The care that they give is aweapon against everythingthat tells us that womenshould be catty, in competitionwith one another — that we’reall after the same slice in thepatriarchal pie. They carethat they give to the men andchildren in their lives enablesa new generation of babybabes to grow up and allowsthe men to unlearn the societal standards of harsh masculinity.But it leaves little room for the affection and tenderness toextend to oneself.If you fire everyone else’s oven there aren’t going to be anyflames for your own. Tempering the nurturing urges we feelcompelled to, inwardly or as a symptom of gender binary, andredirecting it towards our own babely selves is rebellious.Feeling like we’re worthy of our own attention and gentlenessis radical. Extending the compassion we extend to others isa middle finger to those things we were taught in preschool.Taking selfies isn’t vanity, it’s self-celebration. Talking abouthow rad you are isn’t bragging, it’s truth-telling. Being proud ofhow hard you hustle and your ability to overcome is just realtalk.A great babe I know (shoutout, Julie Lalonde) once taught methat the key to true self care is taking the time to get to knowyourself enough to know what your non-negotiables are. Doyou need 10 hours of sleep a night? Never do anything thatcompromises that. Do you need a green juice every morning tomake sure you’re all veggied up before your day gets hectic?Stock up on produce and wake up 15 minutes earlier. Doesa coat of lipstick and a blowout recharge you? Put it in yourbudget. Is seeing a therapist every few weeks the key to yourmental health? Call a community health clinic. Is your onehourjog an essential part of your day? Make a sweat date anddon’t break it. Does an orgasm every night help to soothe youranxiety and bring on deeper slumber? Figure out one or twoor even three things that keep you feeling invincible and dowhatever it takes to do them on a regular basis. I swear thatyou’re worth it.

JODIEIt seems to go in waves for me: self care becomesalternately about reminding myself that my vulnerabilityis real and strong and beautiful and, conversely, that Ican’t start a fire worrying about my little world fallingapart (as Bruce Springsteen would say). My self care lookslike tenderness and quiet and ferocity and fearlessness.Lately it seems I spend much more time kicking my ownass to remind myself that I’m capable and gorgeous andthat the world needs to hear my voice. So this the themusic that dries my tears — the soundtrack for pencilingin my brows and putting on my good underwear andthrowing up the middle finger to the patriarchy.PLAYLIST+ Half About Being A Woman by Caroline Smith+ Fighting Fish by Dessa+ Bossy by Kelis+ Batches and Cookies by Lizzo+ Yoncé by BeyoncéKARAFor me, self care is being radically patient with myfeelings, surrounding myself with empowering women,and being okay with feeling down once in awhile. Andthat’s why each of these songs so much to me.+ Flawless (Remix) by Beyoncé featuring Nicki Minaj+ Love Me by Katy Perry+ Let It Die by Feist+ Walking Off Strong by Caroline Smith+ Beautiful by Carole King

CAKE BY THE POUNDSince I was tiny enough to fit in the clearing at the meetingof our lilac bushes, I knew that being tiny was important.Not just to hide away with books and the scent of thosepurple petals, but to look acceptable. I learned that fatwas to be feared — in myself and in others. I learned thatsmoothness of figure was desirable and that desire waspowerful. I learned to find more things wrong with mybody than right with it. That I was a chubby kid didn’teven particularly weigh those lessons heavier on my10-year-old shoulders: it’s the messaging that the tiny girlsgot when they were praised for their body size, too. Beingfat certainly makes my relationship with my body andwith other people’s perceptions of beauty and health morecomplicated, but there isn’t a babe out there who hasn’tbeen delivered the memo that being slim is desirable andshrinking is an achievement.I don’t remember when I started calling myself fat, but I doknow that it made me feel at home in my body for the firsttime in what felt like forever. It felt like a descriptor thatmade sense, the way short or brunette or curvy made somesense of what I looked like but didn’t define me or evenmy appearance. I felt like it gave me permission to justaccept my round stomach and my soft upper arms and mysquishy chin as matter-of-fact — no judgement.When we stop letting ideals and the words that governthem have power over us — at least some of the time — wecan maybe start to believe in the importance of caring forourselves. We take away the ability for others’ judgementsabout our bodies to shape our own. We let ourselves thatboth our bodies and us are worthy of time and pleasureand love and devotion. Just as we are. Right where we’reexisting. Right now.Lesley Kinzel says we don’t have to start loving our bodies,but that we can aim to stop hating them — even if for justsmall intervals. The best way to take care of someone orsomething is to be motivated by love that seeks out the bestfor them. Eat like you love your body and the pleasureand purpose that comes along with that. Move your bodylike you love it with gentleness and discipline. Adorn yourbody like you’re smitten with it.BY JODIE

SELF(IE)BY KARADUNJAVIRGIECARESelfies are an act of care. As women,we’ve been told since birth by culturethat we are ugly and that are bodiesare ugly and that we should “loveourselves,” but if we love ourselves toomuch or in the wrong way, that we areself centered, silly, and narcissistic. Allof that is bullshit. Selfies are powerful,because they allow you to control yourimage. They allow you to celebrateyourself and your body — on yourterms. They allow you to say “Hello!This is me! I feel cute and wonderfuland I want to remember this and Iwant to share it with you!”DIANA LINDSEY RACHELKELSIE AIMÉE KATIEEMMA EUN + JANET BETHDANI JESS JODIEMOOREA ERIKA ELSIE

“Not Indulgence,Preservation.”SELF CARE IN A WHITE SUPREMACIST SOCIETYName: April BlackbirdAge: 30What I do: Qualitative researcher, part-time hairstylist, MUA& photographer.What does self care mean to you?Self care means being aware of your needs and being in tunewith yourself to such a degree that you’re able to identifywhen you need to set boundaries and when you need to takebreaks for yourself. With that said, I strongly identify withAudre Lorde’s conception that: “Caring for myself is not selfindulgence,it is self-preservation, and that is an act of politicalwarfare.”Like many social justice advocates, I became pretty passionateabout feminism at 16 years old - a brown Kat Stratford (ala 10 Things I Hate About You) if you will. In those days,‘intersectionality’ wasn’t really a thing, so I went pretty hard forwhite feminism/riot grrrl stuff (I still have a soft spot for BikiniKill). I guess that being so disconnected from my culture leftme searching for an identity to fill that space. I did eventuallybecome disenchanted with the lack of consideration for Othercommunities within the feminist movement. So, that mixedwith the overwhelming information I was consuming regularlyabout the countless atrocities going on around the world andhow little I felt that I was doing to help - it happened, I gotburned out.It was a mixture of beginning to question my identity withinthese communities, my growing awareness of the world aroundme and not knowing how to digest it or even reconcile it withmy place in the world.I mean, I went through some pretty dark years once I wasdiagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. It’s takena lot of growth and a lot of self-reflection to figure out whatworks for me. Furthermore, I feel like many of us whostruggle with mental health issues become acutely aware ofwhen we absolutely need to step back and take breaks - welearn to identify our triggers. I’ve also been lucky enough tohave access to those resources (family, friends, healthcare,etc.) which have allowed me to become more self-aware. It’simportant to note that many people in my community are notso fortunate.What are a few of the million ways that living in acolonized society affects you as a Plains Cree andOjibway woman?Where do I even begin? Haha! If I can quote Assata Shakur: “Ihate war, and I hate having to struggle. I honestly do because

I wish I had been born into a world where it was unnecessary.This context of struggle and being a warrior and being astruggler has been forced on me by oppression. OtherwiseI would be a sculptor, or a gardener, carpenter - You know,I would be free to be so much more… I guess part of me ora part of who I am, a part of what I do is being a warrior - areluctant warrior, a reluctant struggler. But I do it, because I’mcommitted to life.”With that said colonization has affected the way that I livemy life in every single way. Once you’ve opened your eyesto injustice, you can’t just close your eyes to it if you have aconscience. My ancestors fought, struggled, starved to death,were murdered for the rights I have as a First Nations persontoday. I’ve been given not only the gift of that awareness, butI’ve also been blessed with many other tools to resist and aidmine and other marginalized communities. To waste any of thaton selfish endeavors would be spitting on the graves of all ofthose who came before me to be honest.How does self care help you resist colonialism?Self care has helped me take time to reflect on and becomeaware of the ways colonialism continues to shape the way Isee my self and my place in the world. Self care reconnectsme with an identity colonialism has attempted to make meashamed of and even completely strip me of. Self care remindsme that there are others in the struggle and that I’m not alone- even when it sometimes feels that way. Self care also remindsme not to feel guilty about the way that I live my life - thatliving and participating in a colonialist society isn’t a choice andI am doing the best that I can. And probably most importantly,self care prevents me from becoming so unhealthy that I amunable to participate in the struggle.What are some ways that you practice self care?As an Indigenous woman who has seriously become committedto her own decolonization journey, I do take time to pray andsmudge when I’m feeling especially shitty. Colonization hasnegatively effected the way that I’ve thought about religionand spirituality in the past and it’s something I consciouslywork on - reframing the way that colonization has shapedthe way I see the spiritual practices and knowledge of mycommunity in general.Additionally, I also try to surround myself with like-mindedindividuals as much as possible. There was a quote I sawfloating around tumblr once: ‘connect yourself with thosesearching for the same freedom’ I can’t find it but I definitelyidentify with the sentiment. Making friends with otherindividuals with similar world views has improved my lifeabout 100%. It goes back to feeling less alone and knowingthere are people who understand what you’re going through.Taking breaks from social media, reading the news, or justtoxic people in general has also been important. I mean, inthe age of social media people are constantly connected totheir friends and information. Luckily, I’m the only person everwithout a smartphone so just getting away from the houseand laptop has really helped in that area! Also learning todisconnect myself from unsupportive people where possiblehas been important. For instance, using my facebook accountexclusively as a place where I can keep in touch with those I’vebuilt a ‘community’ with has cut so much unnecessary anxiety,stress and drama in general.

A S KF O RHELP!BY STEPHANIE McCOLLOUGHI gotta be honest, I started seeing a therapist because the man Iwas seeing at the time had started therapy, and requested thatI do too. But, more importantly, I stayed in therapy long afterthat relationship ended because I was depressed and I had aninability to live up to my potential, but I couldn’t figure out why.Even though I always thought of myself as a smart and capableperson, I seemed to keep making unhealthy choices for myself,and I wasn’t fully engaged with my life. My therapist has helpedme to identaify and process dysfunctional patterns that wouldotherwise be invisible to me as I act them out — patternsthat were serving as walls between me and the healthy life Iwanted to be living. I’ve been able to discover why I have thosepatterns (we all have them, and there are always reasons forthem), and to process the things from my past that made meset them up in the first place. Through this processing, mydysfunctional patterns drop, my walls come down, and I movethrough the world more authentically with a better sense offreedom.Doing things that make us feel more free and authentic is thevery nature of self care. Working with a therapist allows usto take care of ourselves by taking responsibility for our lives,owning where we’ve been, processing our unhealthy patterns,and recognizing our potential. I know that this has allowedme to move forward in my life in ways that literally were notpossible before.So, if you are thinking about wanting to see someone,here are a few things that may be helpful:+ Be willing to find a good fit. Therapy functions because ofthe relationship between you and your therapist, so it maytake a few tries before you find the right one. Once you getthat relationship locked in, though, you’ll be amazed at theinsights and the feelings of safety that a good therapist canprovide. You will be doing work, but the therapist holds spaceand keeps you grounded through it all, while asking you theright questions.+ Remember that therapy is not always about feeling betterafterwards. You will experience major shifts in the way yousee your pasts and your current situation. This can get kindaweird. But the ability that is unlocked to experience yourpersonal potential is well worth it. This is the kind of self carethat can hurt a bit, like a good workout. Sometimes you’re soreafter, but that’s when you know you’re growing.+ Give yourself time. We build our unhealthy patterns overmany many years. Try to remember that processing thosepatterns will not happen overnight. If you are gentle andpatient with yourself and with your process things will moveinto place.

H O W T OGET HELPA great source ofinformation for referralsfor counseling mentalhealth treatment is MentalHealth America. Thisorganization’s job is toconnect individuals withaccessible mental healthservices in their area.Their website in generalis an excellent source ofinformation for someonetrying to decide if theywant to seek counselingand for those lookingto find a counselor intheir area. Their websiteprovides mental healthscreening tools, a crisis line,information on differenttypes of treatment anddifferent types of clinicians(counselor vs psychologist vspsychiatrist, etc), along withwellness tools for those whoare feeling well and want tomaintain/make self care apriority.They have chapters all overthe country, and most ofthose chapters have a probonoprogram for thosewho are unable to payfor counseling services.Many public mental healthservices also operate on asliding fee scale, as well, sowhat clients pay will bebased on their income.If you’re in college, mostcolleges provide access tofree counseling. Ask yourStudent Services office formore information.“Treat your first appointment with any mentalhealth clinician as an interview. They willabsolutely be interviewing you, and takinginventory of your background in order to ensurethe best possible treatment. The thing thatclients don’t understand is that they also getto interview the clinician. Ask them what theirphilosophy or specialty is, what kind of clientsthey typically work with, etc. See if their answersresonate with what you’re looking for. If theydon’t, don’t feel like you have to see them.”– Chelsea Francis, MSEd

TAKE CARE OFYOUR-FUCKING-SELFBY DANIKA McCLUREI am mean, I am selfish, and I am obsessed with my owninterests. It has taken 22 years of discomfort, periods ofunhappiness, and being unsatisfied for me to accept the factthat I am completely happy with allowing myself to be selfabsorbed.To me, being selfish has become a method of selfcare.I can remember several times, both in my adolescent andadult life, where I have been scolded by peers, family members,and friends for doing what I feel is in my best interests. Thewords, “selfish,” “mean,” and “self absorbed,” have been thrownat me more times than I can count throughout my life, all ofwhich I have been socialized to be ashamed of, especially asa woman. I would encourage myself, and all babes out thereto reclaim those words in positive ways, particularly whenit involves making decisions that are in your best interestsand that will make you the most happy. I find myself in allsituations lately repeating the mantra “take care of yourfucking-self…takecare of your-fucking-self…take care ofyour-fucking-self.” And I do it. And I do it in whatever waynecessary. Sometimes that has to be mean. And that is fuckingOKAY.

“Be mean.Be selfish.Be selfabsorbed.”Self care and meanness manifests itself in so many ways.Telling that dude at the bar to get the fuck away from youwhen they’re harassing you is self care. Cutting harmful peopleout of your life is self care. Flaking out on your friends whenyou need some time for yourself is self care. Saying “no” isself care. Saying “fuck no” is self care. Saying “fuck you” isself care. And will people tell you that you’re being mean? Orselfish? Probably. Was it necessary for you to be mean or selfishin order for you to feel comfortable in any given situation? Ifthe answer is “yes,” do it. DO IT. To quote one of my favorite,selfish, mean women, “ I do not have time to make otherpeople happy when I am still learning how to make myselfhappy.”And I believe it’s important to discuss this in particular,because sometimes selfishness and meanness in regards toself-care are necessary even when the other person hasn’texhibited abhorrent or problematic behavior. I had startedseeing someone, who, on paper, was an exemplary humanbeing. This person was a feminist, we had similar interests,they treated me well, and they were completely kind andwonderful to be around. This never changed. And then I wokeup one day and just didn’t want to be in it anymore. Therewas no big fight, they hadn’t done anything shitty, I just wokeup uninterested, and knew this wasn’t what I wanted to bedoing in my life. When this same thing happened in seventhgrade, I broke up with my boyfriend over a voicemail (GOME!) and my mom made me leave another voicemail and askto be his girlfriend again because my reasons weren’t goodenough, and I was being mean and selfish. My mom, in themore recent situation, thankfully, didn’t make me call and askfor the relationship to continue. As the breakup progressed,things started to become unhealthy for me. It was a verytraumatic split for my partner, and it began to manifest itselfin unhealthy ways for our continued friendship, and I had tocut them out of my life for a period of time. Being stern, beingmean, being selfish, and being aggressive about no longerseeing or speaking to this person was one of the more difficultthings I have done in my life. But it was necessary. And it wasgoing to make me feel healthier and more balanced. I neededto be selfish. I needed to take care of my-fucking-self. Andsometimes taking care of your-fucking-self will hurt others.And that is okay. Be mean. Be selfish. Be self absorbed.I think I really began to embrace the ideas of selfishness andmeanness only recently after a particularly difficult breakup.

METHODSHave a great method of self care? Postit on Instagram with the hashtag#methodsofselfcare.+ Take a shower.+ Drink a glass of ice water.+ Masturbate.+ Cry.+ Sleep!+ Write about what’s on your mind.+ Make a reasonable to-do list.+ Make a healthy, filling meal.+ Make a huge-ass bowl of fresh berrieswith sugar sprinkled on top.+ Take a night or day off.+ Write positive, affirming notes foryourself and leave around your home.+ Take selfies until you believe you’rebeautiful.+ Meditate.+ Do the dishes, clean the house, payyour bills, send that email: whatever willbe nagging you and keeping you fromreally resting — do it.+ Be naked.+ Lay on your back on the ground.+ Go outside for 10 minutes.+ Learn something.+ Water your plants or someone else’s.+ Pet an animal.+ Find out the moon phase and go look atit.+ Tell someone who should fuck off, to fuckoff.+ Have sex.+ Play hooky, you’re allowed to!+ Put on lipstick.+ Exercise.+ Stretch.+ Create a blend of essential oils labeled“Good Vibes” and carry it around in yourpocket.+ Drink a cup of tea.+ Go to the library and read all themagazines.+ Visit an animal shelter and hold animals.+ Bake yourself cupcakes.+ Put on your fanciest outfit.+ Paint your nails.+ Call your best friend.+ Go for a photo walk.+ Do YouTube yoga exercises.+ Stargaze.+ Take a power nap.+ Take a bubble bath.

TALK THE TALKWhen engaging in self-talk, ask: would I say this to someone else? Whatwould my intentions be? How would I want them to feel? Constructivecriticism and truth-telling are a gift, but they’re not the same as trashingsomeone.Instead of saying: I just need to suck itup and get over it.Say: Feeling all the feels is a gift. It’s okayto be tender-hearted. What do I need tocope? What do I really need to accomplish?What’s most important? I am resilient.Instead of saying: I shouldn’t be botheredby this.Say: I am bothered by this for a reason. It’sokay if this hurts me, I’m allowed to figureout my boundaries.Instead of saying: I really suck at this.Say: I’m not as good at this as I am at_______________. I don’t need to be good ateverything. I can ask for help.Instead of saying: I’m a goblin.Say: I don’t feel cute today, but my cutenessisn’t who I am. My babeliness is aboutme and not the way I look. Maybe I’ll feelcute tomorrow.

THE END.P.S. You are worth it.

#babevibes#methodsofselfcareHey, thanks for reading Methods of Self Care! Feel freeto print, email, and distribute it to every single babe inthe world. Please don’t sell it at a profit or republish thecontent. Credit where credit is due. XOXO!A BABE VIBES PUBLICATION© Babe Vibes 2014babevibes.com