Out of Captivity : Surviving 1,967 Days in the Colombian Jungle

Homecoming 447so much.” She kept repeating those words, and with each repetition,she held me tighter. When I was finally able to create a little bit ofseparation between us, I could see that the years I’d been gone had notbeen easy on her. I tried to tell myself that after not seeing someone formore than five years, there were bound to be changes, but her worryand anxiety had physically punished her.“You know, Marc, we are in San Antonio—Saint Anthony. We prayto him when we lose things so that he can help us find them. You’refound.”The following day brought my long awaited reunion with my kids. Assoon as the door opened, Destiney ran into my arms and I felt my heartjump up to greet her. The little girl I’d left behind had grown so much Icould barely believe it. Beneath the new hairstyle and makeup was stilla kid who’d missed her dad as much as I’d missed her. Throughout ourtwenty-minute meeting, she clung to me.Destiney told me the story of how she’d found out I had been takenhostage. Our bond had been so tight that when I was first abducted,Shane didn’t know how to break it to her. She told Destiney that I wasworking all day long and was only able to call very late at night. (I usedto call home every single day.) At first, Destiney didn’t understand, butas the days passed by without her talking to me, she began to miss memore and more. She was only nine years old at the time. She was toldthat I was calling late at night, so she started to stay awake, waiting formy call. Each night she would stay awake later and later, waiting for meto call, until she was up all night long. But I never called.Hearing this account of her suffering filled me with an intense andstraining pain that nothing could alleviate. To be angry and hate theFARC didn’t help, to regret my decision to fly in Colombia didn’t help,to look to the future didn’t help, because none of those things wouldtake Destiney’s suffering away. There were so many nights of my captivitywhen I prayed and gave thanks that it was me there in that jungleand not anyone in my family. But hearing Destiney speak, I realized