Out of Captivity : Surviving 1,967 Days in the Colombian Jungle

Politics and Pawns397could stand up to anyone. She told me that she was done with feelingafraid and intimidated. She was capable of being alone and not relyingon anyone else.Now that she appeared to be with William Pérez, I was sad to seethat she had reverted to form, that whatever forces were at work onher in the jungle had again reduced her to seeking refuge in someoneelse instead of in herself and in her faith. I had always had the impulseto fix things for people and to fix people themselves. I didn’t considerIngrid a project, but I wondered if some of her fragility was due to herbeing on her own for the first time in her life. As much as she had traveledand as much as going off to boarding school at a relatively youngage had helped her gain independence, like a lot of adults, she’d nevertruly been on her own. What I sensed in her was also true of me. I’dbeen married at nineteen. Being taken captive was the most protractedperiod of self-reliance that I’d ever experienced. I was pleased to findthat I had discovered a strength inside me that I might have never seenif I hadn’t been tested in this way.I couldn’t presume to know what Ingrid had been through, but Isaw someone who had led a life that, until being taken hostage, was bymost people’s standards one of relative ease. We’d all been tested, and itseemed like she had taken the less difficult route, fallen back on habitsshe’d claimed she wanted to break.During his time as a prisoner, William Pérez had done what hecould to make his life in captivity easier. Taking all the favors he didfrom the FARC, acting as a trusty, Pérez relied on someone other thanhimself to survive. I struggled to understand why Ingrid was drawn tosomeone like him. We always said that life in the jungle as a captivewould strip us bare and reveal us for who we are. The accomplished,charismatic and ambitious Ingrid I knew and liked and respected verymuch seemed to exist side by side with the proud, haughty, and veryinsecure Ingrid I felt sorry for. It may not have been fair to judge her,and I tried to be charitable, but I just couldn’t get past the feeling that