Out of Captivity : Surviving 1,967 Days in the Colombian Jungle

236 OUT OF CAPTIVITYof strength somewhere. Keith found his in defiance—he refused to letthe FARC win. Marc found his in his faith, beginning every day with aprayer. I called upon the old reliable that kept us going always—familyand a return to our homeland. At one point, I stumbled, fell, and laythere in the mud thinking that it would be easy to just stay where I was,but I didn’t. I picked myself up and kept putting one foot in front ofthe other. From knee-high mud through neck-deep water and up-anddowncansa-perros—hills that were high enough to tire out dogs—intoshivering nights when our bodies were so depleted of calories that wecould not stay warm, we stretched the limits of what we thought wecould endure.For all of us, getting back to our own country and the freedoms weenjoyed there played a crucial role in our perseverance. Keith and Marctold me that one of the ways they got through the day was by focusingon a specific fantasy. Those fantasies usually revolved around thesimple pleasures of their lives back home with family. Whether it wasa day spent at the beach, at a ballpark watching a youth league game,or dinner at the kids’ favorite spot, we didn’t think about anything wildor elaborate.Each of us believed that freedom and a return to our way of life wasthe most powerful motivation we had when the going seemed impossible.Wanting to be out from under the thumb of people who oppressedus and denied us our rights was the most basic desire we had. It was analmost primal urge, ingrained in us after years and years of being ableto do just that—exert our free will. That’s what we wanted for ourselvesand that’s what we as a country wanted for other people as well. Manyof the FARC asked us what the U.S. was like, and when we told themthat the United States was about freedom, they couldn’t believe thatour answer could be that simple. The guerrillas took a lot from us, butthey could never get their minds or their hands around the idea thatwhat we valued most was our freedom. As long as we were capable of