Out of Captivity : Surviving 1,967 Days in the Colombian Jungle

Settling In 119The skies didn’t suddenly brighten and I didn’t feel like dancing, butit was a start. I looked over at Keith and Marc and they both nodded atme. It was like they were driving their point home, nailing that scrap ofpaper on the wall so that it could serve as a constant reminder of whatI needed to stay focused on. I’m not a spiritual guy. Religion for mebegins and ends with a period. But I knew at that moment that I hadto start believing in something, mostly myself and my ability to endurethis. That note was like someone opening the door of the cockpit andtelling me to get back into the pilot’s seat. This was a whole new aircraft,a whole new way of piloting. I didn’t have any of my old mapsor charts, but I did have a couple of guys who were going to help mefigure out a course. I’d have to learn how to fly the bird, but I had plentyof experience at doing that.Keith’s note also made me realize something else. Part of my stressduring this time was because I was the one who spoke the language. Iwas the one responsible for doing most of the communicating. Knowingthat my ability to speak and understand Spanish was crucial to thesurvival of all of us, I was putting too much pressure on myself as Ifocused on how my actions affected Keith and Marc—not just me.I was also anxious because of Keith’s condition. Keith was by far themost physically imposing of us and he was also one of the brashest,most confident people I’d ever met. As a former Marine, he had moresurvival training experience than the rest of us. To see him injuredand laid low by his stomach issues was frightening in this respect—ifhe was hurting that bad, what did that mean for Marc and me? If themarch had taken a toll on Keith and Marc, two men far younger thanI was, what did that mean for me and my health? Mission one was toendure and get home. What if I didn’t have the skills it took? WhileKeith’s health seemed to be improving, he wasn’t nearly as physicallyactive as he’d been before. I’d known him as a guy who was full of lifeand energy, seldom able to just sit still. In Monkey Village and in the