ii. HoW fAR Would you go to get noticed? - Kids in the Know

G rade 7 /8 Activity Bookcybertip.ca/respectyourselfHow far would you goto get noticed?

cybertip.ca/respectyourselfThe Respect Yourself campaign is designed to teach youabout healthy relationships. This activity booklet will help guideyou through ways to recognize strange behaviour and situations.The website discusses some of the most overlooked issues withthe Internet such as sending pictures/videos to others. Once yourpictures/videos are shared, whether by email, IM, or posting online,there's no way for you to regain full control of them!Our goal is to increase your safety. Talk to a safe adultif you are unsure or uncomfortable about anything.Need to Tal k to Someone ?Sometimes it can feel like you are trapped in a situation and thereis no way out. Remember no situation is so hopeless that there isno way out. Tell an adult that you feel safe with. It is okay to talkabout it.»»If there is an emergency call 911 or your town’slocal emergency number.»»If you want to talk to someone about yourself ora friend and do not want to give out your name callKids Help Phone @ 1-800-668-6868.It’s free and open 24/7!»»If something inappropriate or uncomfortablehappens online report it at cybertip.caor call 1-866-658-9022.

Table of ContentsI. Who are you? » 2II. How far would you goto get noticed?» 6Positive or Negative Attention Quiz » 6III. Reality check » 8IV. healthy, respectfulrelationships» 9Dating Do’s and Don’ts » 10True story—I Don’t Think So! » 11True story—Wake Up Girl! » 12True / False Quiz » 13Date-O-Meter » 14Okay or Weird Quiz » 14V. Personal Boundaries » 16True story—Foul Play » 17VI. Media » 18What Do You Think About That? » 18Maze » 20True story—How Can I Help My Friend? » 21Technology » 22True story—It’s Not His Fault! » 22Be careful because ... » 23True story—Walking Right Into a Trap » 24Answers » 25

3This is who I a mFill this page with words andicons to represent who you are.use your answers from page 2 to fill this pageand/or turn the page for some more ideas!

73. While online Sandra meets a guy who tells hershe is beautiful and asks to see more pictures ofher. He tells her she looks like a model and asksher to get on her webcam in her underwear andbra.positiveornegativeAttention4. Scott’s coach tells him he is the best player on the hockey team. He tellshim that he has a real shot at going pro some day. He asks Scott to comeover to his house to hang out with him. His coach is acting weird and isreally “touchy” with him.positiveornegativeAttention5. When Lindsay goes to the store with a group of friends, she realizes that sheforgot to bring money. When she gets to the store her friend, Jeff, offers tobuy her a drink. Lindsay buys Jeff a drink the next time they’re at the store.positiveornegativeAttention6. Michelle’s friend Abby is always posting pictures of herself online. She hasbeen putting “sexy poses” of herself online and has been receiving a lot ofcomments from people. She really likes reading all the comments. She justposted one of herself doing the splits in her bikini. You should see all thecomments she is getting!positiveornegativeAttentioncheck your answers on page 25

8III. reality checkDo you think what you do online is private?realitycheckThe Internet is a public place. Parents, teachers,coaches, and anyone who wants to can see what you doin social networking sites, chatrooms, newsgroups, etc.Do you think posting sexy poses of yourselfonline will get you attention?realitycheckYeah! But is this the type of attention you want?Respect yourself.Do you think posting embarrassing picturesof others will make them look bad?realitycheckIt makes YOU look bad.Respecting yourself also means respecting others!DID YOUKNOW?It ’ s illegal for you oryour friends to sendout naked picturesof yourselves!!!

9IV. Healthy, respectfulrelationshipsWhen you decide you really like someone it can be tough to decide how to letthe person know how you feel.Do you ever wonder how to show someone that you like them? How far wouldyou go to get noticed? Respect yourself.»»Actions speak louder than words!»»When you really care about someone, show themby the way you act towards them.»»When someone really cares about you, s/he needsto show you by the way s/he acts towards you.How to show someone you like themBe RespectfulBe courteous and careful not to makethe other person feel uncomfortable.have funHave fun joking around with each other.Hang outEnjoy spending time together.ShareBe sincere. Talk andshare personal storieswith each other.TrustKeep your word and do not takeadvantage of each other.Do not tell other people whatis shared in confidence.CareBe thoughtful about howyou treat each other.CommitBe reliable. Keep plans thatyou have together.Show how much you carethrough respectful andwarm behaviour.FYI:Bad strategy!Don ’t putsomeone downas a way to gettheir attentionIt may notbe the lastingimpression youwanted to make!

10Dating Do’sDO:»»Go out with someone that has first been your friend»»Go out with someone because you likespending time together»»Go out with someone because you have strongfeelings for her/him (butterflies in your stomach)»»Go out with someone because youfeel comfortable together»»Go out with someone because you trust each other»»Go out with someone because you havecommon friends and interests»»Go out with someone because you are attractedto them and they are respectful towards youDating Don’tsDOn’t:»»Don’t go out with anyone that you have not been friends with first»»Don’t go out with someone you first meet on the Internet»»Don’t go out with someone who is more than two years older than you»»Don’t go out with someone just becauses/he likes you»»Don’t go out with someone just becauseyou don’t want to hurt her/his feelingsHow far would you goto get noticed?»»Don’t go out with someone only because s/he is hot»»Don’t go out with someone just because you don’t know what else to do»»Don’t go out with someone because you are scared to say “no”»»Don’t go out with someone just because your friends want you to»»Don’t go out with someone just to make out

11True Storyit’s okay to talk aboutthings that happento you. make sureyou tell a safe adultwho can help you.I don’t think so!A 14-year-old girl from Winnipeg started going out with an18-year-old boy. He told her she was pretty and he wanted tospend all his time with her. He would get mad if she wanted tospend time with her friends. He would tell her that if she didn’twant to spend all of her time with him, that she must not careabout him. He didn’t like it when she wore tank tops and wouldtell her that she looked fat. She spent less and less time with herfriends. They started to get upset with her. Everything she ateworried her because she was afraid that she would get fat andthat her boyfriend would dump her. What should she do?List 5 unhealthy flags in this Relationship:1.2.3.4.5.check your answers on page 25

12i wanna hold your hand ...now Hold on just a minu te!Just because you are attracted to someone orhave fantasies about them doesn’t mean youhave to act on it! Come on now ...keep yourself under control!True StoryWake up Girl!My friend Michelle is 13 years old and I am really worried about her. She metthis guy online a year ago and is still talking to him. I think she wants to goand meet him and he is 26 years old. I am completely freaked out becauseshe doesn’t see anything wrong with it. My boyfriend thinks I am overreactingand so do the rest of my friends. They think I should mind my own businessand stay out of it. She sends pictures of herself to him when she is changing.What 26-year-old is interested in a 13-year-old?!@*! Seriously stunted! If I tellshe will kill me! What would you do?This is what I did: I made a report to Cybertip.ca.

13When dating someone you should ... tr ue or false ?1. Enjoy hanging out togethercircle onetruefalse2. Spend all your time togethertrue false3. Laugh togethertrue false4. Be good friendstrue falseslowdownDangeraheadcaution5. Never wear clothes that the other person doesn’t liketruefalse6. Share personal stories and trust each othertruefalse7. Be able to joke around and not take things too seriously(such as being teased, calling you fat, stupid orswearing at you)handholdingpermittedherespeedbumpsaheadtruefalseRespect Limits.8. Care about and respect each othertruefalse9. Do whatever the other person says(even sexual types of activities!)Don’t pressure someonewhen s/he doesn’t want todo something.Hands Off!!!truefalse10. Try to change things about the person that you don’t liketrue false check your answers on page 25

14Date-o-meter10 yea r syo u n g e ryo u10 yea r so l d e rtotallyinappropriate!Is this Okay or Weird?It is not always obvious when someone breaks boundaries by doing or sayingsomething to you. Setting personal boundaries can be uncomfortable. Read thefollowing situations and circle Weird if boundaries are broken or OK if itis appropriate.no problem!A good dating range is your age toone or two yea rs older or younger.totallyinappropriate!1. A 24-year-old guy asks a 16-year-old girl out to a movie.okweird2. A 14-year-old guy asks his girlfriend to show him herunderwear on webcam.okweirdit’s not okay foradults to givesexual attentionto teenagers!3. A 13-year-old is chatting to someone she just met online, and the person asksher if she wears a bra or not.okweird

154. A 14-year-old boy really likes a girl in his classso he asks her to go out with him to a movie.okweirdRemember to think about yourDate-o-meter5. An 18-year-old boy has been paying attention to a 13-year-old girl who justmoved in down the street. He thinks she is really cute so he buys her an ipodand leaves it on her doorstep to surprise her.okweird6. A 13-year-old girl really likes a boy in her class. The boy tells her that in orderfor him to date her she has to prove to him how much she likes him.okweird7. After babysitting one evening a 13-year-old girl is driven home by the father.He tells her what a great babysitter she is and how “hot” he thinks she is.He gives her an extra 50 bucks.okweird8. a) A 13-year-old soccer player has a great coach. All the players and their parentsthink he is awesome. Sometimes he takes players from the team out to eat.okweirdb) Lately he has been taking the 13-year-old out alone. The last time they weretogether he took him over to his house to watch R-rated movies.okweird9. A friend of Sarah’s dad is like an uncle to Sarah because her family has knownhim for so long. Sometimes he takes Sarah and her brother out for dinner with hischildren. His kids are the same age as Sarah and her brother. They have a great time.okweird10. Kate has an uncle who is constantly telling her jokes about sex and makingsexual comments when she is around. Her brother thinks it’s no big deal,but Kate is totally grossed out.okweirdcheck your answers on page 25

16V. Personal BoundariesWhat arepersonalboundariesanyway?Boundaries are about a lot more thanthe personal space around you.Examples ofrespecting Bounda riesBoundaries include respecting:»»People’s bodies»»Personal belongings»»Beliefs»»Rights to privacy»»Right to set limits (say “NO”)»»Being careful not to embarrass someone»»Asking permission before using someone’s things»»Careful not to spread something that has been sharedwith you in confidence»»Getting to know someone really well before asking or sharingpersonal questions such as “Have you ever had a girl/boyfriend?”“Have you ever kissed anyone?” “Do you wear a bra?”k e e pou t!Examples ofBrea kin g Bounda ries»»Asking someone sexual questions»»Asking someone personal questions in front of othersto embarrass them»»Putting someone down»»Making fun of someone»»Walking in on someone changing or using the bathroom»»Spying on someone while they are changing»»A person over 18-years-of-age giving a teenager sexualattention, making sexual comments toward a teenager, orsharing details about sexual experiences with a teenager

17True StoryFoul PlayBen, age 14, was a dedicated fan of pro football—he never missed a gameduring the season. He also liked computers, so it wasn't long before he joined afantasy football chatroom. He chatted regularly with many other users, includinga person named Dennis. It got to the point where they started to chat privatelyonce the season started, and kept in touch by email regularly with news andcomments about games they each watched on television.Everything was fine until Dennis suddenly started asking questions aboutBen's school and home life: How old was he? What grade was he in? Wheredid he live in Nevada? Who did he live with? Where was his Dad? Sincethey were friends and Dennis had shared his own story, Ben didn't thinkthe questions were too unusual—football chatrooms attract fans of all agesfrom all parts of the world.Then Dennis started sending emails with sexual references which ledto details of his sexual fantasies and web addresses for men-and-boyspornography. Ben told Dennis to stop, but the emails continued. Dennisthen started threatening Ben unless he agreed to play along and meet himin the near future.A child cannotconsent tosexual activitywith an adult.It is alwaysthe adult’sresponsibilityto re-establishthe boundaries.This is what Ben did: He finallytold his mother, who forwarded the material tocybertip.ca. Dennis was arrested in Windsor,Ontario a short time later. Police discoveredhe had a plane ticket to Nevada, a reservationnumber for a hotel room and directions to Ben'shouse. Police then started looking for othervictims of sexual exploitation and found thatDennis had been a junior league footballcoach for many years.

18VI. mediaWhat do you think about that?Did you hea r that ?Pick a song with lyrics that are sexually disrespectful andrewrite the lyrics to make them about respectful relationships.this is my son g:s o n g t i t l e

19Did you see that ?Pick an advertisement that is sexually disrespectful toward womenor men and recreate it to make it respectful.remake your ad here:

20Can you avoid the weirdnessand find your way home ?mazestart heretakinginappropriatepics with cellphoneA teachertells ateenagers/he is hotsending“dirty”picsonlinedatingsomeoneyears olderor youngerthan youcoachasksyou tomassagehis backsomeonesendingpornographysexuallyexplicittextmessagesexperimentingusing webcamsexualattentionfrom anadultansweringtext messagesfrom peopleyou don’tknowdatingsomeone whotells you whatyou can andcannot wearhomecheck your answers on page 25

21Did you know ???People who care about youlike you for who you arePeople who care about you do notask you to do things that wouldget you into troublePeople who care about you do nottry to get you to do things thatmake you feel uncomfortablePeople who care about youlook out for youTrue StoryHow can I help my friend?My friend Lisa called me today all creeped out! Shegot an email from a camp counsellor she met atsummer camp. It was so disgusting. He said thathe missed her and asked for a sexy pic of her tokeep on his fridge. He is a zillion years older than her – 30! He asked if hecould meet up with her to take her underwear shopping. Crazy! She told me not totell anyone. What would you do?This is what I did: I told my mom.

22Technology:Cell ph onewireless, portable telephoneOnlin e ga min gmultiple users play onlinePeer to Pee rfile transfer program to download/transfer musicBl og sa personal website where you regularly post opinions,information, photos, videos, etc.Voice ove r In te rn e t pr otoc olsoftware that allows you to make calls for freeIns ta n t me ss a gin ga program for chatting with others in real timeTrue StoryIt’s not his fault!I knew something was up with my friend Scott when he startedgetting into fights and trouble at school. He never used to belike that. I just found out that he was sexually abused by hisuncle. He doesn’t want to come to school anymore becausehe is embarrassed. The guy has nothing to be ashamed of – itwasn’t his fault! I wish he’d come back cause he’s a good guyand I miss hanging out with him.This is what I did: I called him to play hockey.

23Be Ca r eful beca use ...» » Pictures and videos can easily becopied and shared without you knowing» » You can come across disgustingsexual pictures and advertisements» » you could Give away your personalinformation to someone you don’twant to have it»» You can end up in weird conversationsthat can be really uncomfortable»» People can type whatever they wantand it doesn’t mean that it is true» » If you end up sharing privateinformation, you may be in for anincredibly embarrassing moment!

24True Storywalking right into a trapAs a child, Peter visited the websites of his favourite cartoon characters andTV shows. By the time Peter turned 13 he was involved in online gaming,which became the focus of his social life.When his parents divorced, Peter and his mother, Diane, moved to anew city. Websites and chatrooms gave him something to do becausehe didn’t really know anyone at his new school yet.Peter met this guy, Len, through gaming. He talked to him for about threemonths before he changed schools. The pair forged a bond through gaming, as Lenknew a lot about role-playing games and encouraged Peter to take part.Every day they hooked up to play their favourite game. The two shared personalstories, and each appeared to fill a void for the other. Peter's recent move hadseparated him from his dad, while Len's own son had recently left for college. Lenwas a good listener and offered encouragement whenever Peter discussed thechallenges of his new life. This support made it easier for Peter to settle into school.Even his mom saw the improvement in his outlook and attitude.As the friendship progressed, Len invited Peter for a vacation to his homein California. Peter was sure he and Len would spend the long weekendexploring new games. Although Diane was a bit hesitant at first, Petereventually persuaded her to let him go. Len didn't seem creepy to Diane — infact, he had sent Diane an email about himself. As a result, she didn't feelscared when Peter boarded the plane and headed acrossthe country to visit his online friend and mentor.When Peter's plane landed at the airport on a hot summer afternoon,Len picked him up and they headed to a community pool. Peter enjoyed therough-housing, splashing and wrestling. It all seemed like fun until they wentto Len's apartment. Then the rough-housing turned into hugging; Len alsokept stroking Peter's back. Away from the security of his home, Peter realizedthat he didn't really know Len very well at all, and that the friendship suddenlyseemed very scary.This is what Peter did: He called his mom immediatelyand told her what was happening. It turns out that Len was a convictedsex offender, and that Peter wasn't the first boy to visit him that month.Fortunately, Len's parole officer learned of the visits and called thepolice immediately.

25Answerspg 6-7positive / Negative attention1. negative2. positive3. negative4. negative5. positive6. negativepg 13Dating True / False1 . tr u e2. fa lse3 . tr u e4 . tr u e5. fa lse6 . tr u e7. fa lse8 . tr u e9. fa lse10. fa lseis this ok / weird?1. weir d2. weir d3. weir d4. ok5. weir dpg 14-156. weir d7. weir d8. a) OKb) Weir d9. ok10. weir dI don’t think so!mazepg 20!!!!!!!pg 11»»14-year-old dating an18-year-old»»He wants to spend all histime with her»»Gets mad if she spent timewith friends»»Put downs—calling her fat»»She spends less timewith friends»»She is worried about eatingbecause he might break upwith her if she doesn’t looka certain way!!!!

protectchildren.caThe Canadian Centre for Child Protection is a charitable organizationdedicated to the personal safety of all children. Our goal is to reducechild victimization by providing programs and services to Canadians.We do this through public awareness activities, our personal safety educationprogram (Kids in the Know kidsintheknow.ca), our national tipline toreport online sexual abuse of children (Cybertip.ca cybertip.ca),and our program to help organizations prevent child sexual abuse(Commit to Kids commit2kids.ca).cybertip.caCybertip.ca is Canada’s national tipline for reporting the online sexualexploitation of children. Cybertip.ca receives and analyzes tips from thepublic about potentially illegal material and activities regarding the onlinesexual exploitation of children and contributes to public education andprevention through its online safety strategies and national awarenesscampaigns. Visit cybertip.ca for more information.Supported by:Cybertip!ca is a registered trade-mark of, and the CANADIAN CENTREFOR CHILD PROTECTION logo and design is a trade-mark of, theCanadian Centre for Child Protection Inc. All other trade-marks arethe property of their respective owners, used with permission.