July 3, 2009 - The Austin Chronicle

I sometimes think the thing I most like aboutspectator sports is their capacity to crush our mostardent hopes and dreams. We live in an age ofcontrivance, of spectacle, of whatthe historian Daniel Boorstincalled the “pseudo-event,” of whatthe French social theorist JeanBaudrillard described as “thesubtle, maleficent, elusive twistingof meaning” – of our denying reality.The Bush administration made ahigh art of this, but it wasn’t alone.We’ve had an economy predicatedon illusions of wealth, and untilrecently it seemed that as longwe all bought in to those illusions,reality couldn’t bite us in the ass.Now, to be a sports fan is tobe an incurable romantic, foreverholding out hope that the ChicagoCubs will finally win the WorldSeries, that Cleveland (the mostvexed city in sports) will at longlast get its groove back and wina championship, that after 31years some gallant Thoroughbredwill finally win a Triple Crown. Yet,paradoxically, sports fans arealso realists. We dreamimprobable dreams, butwe understand that realitybats last.A few recent examplescome to mind. A coupleSundays ago at the U.S.Open Championship, the sportswriterssat at their keyboards withbated breath, itching to write oneof two storybook narratives. In thefirst, we had the always likablePhil Mickelson, whose wife, Amy,had recently been diagnosed withbreast cancer. In the second, wehad the tortured David Duval,once the best golfer in the world,now ranked 882nd, tied for thelead on the penultimate hole. ThesportsBY MARK FAGANplayingthroughBY THOMAS HACKETTPlease writeMr. Hackett atplayingthrough@austinchronicle.com.heartwarming, overcoming-adversitystories were practically writingthemselves. But then Mickelsonbogeyed the 15th and 17th holes,Duval lipped out a par putt on 17,and the two tied for second to,um, Lucas Glover. For all I know,Glover is a pimped-out mack daddyoff the course, complex and charismatic,but on it, he looks like anAmway salesman, without a compellingbone in his body.But you know what? Good forGlover – for not accommodatingour sentimental longings. Good forDwight Howard and the OrlandoMagic for ruining the marketers’dreams of a LeBron James andKobe Bryant matchup in the NBAchampionship. Good for jockeyKent Desormeaux for dashingfellow Cajun Calvin Borel’s questto win the Triple Crown. And asmuch as I don’t like it, good evenfor Brazil for coming backfrom a 2-0 halftime deficitto put the upstart UnitedStates squad in its place,3-2, in the final of theConfederations Cup.Don’t get me wrong.I’m as sentimental asthe next guy. I was pullingfor Mickelson and Duval, LeBronand Borel, U.S. soccer’s ClintDempsey and Landon Donovan,just as I was pulling for AugieGarrido and the Texas Longhornsbaseball team in the College WorldSeries. It’s just that when oursports dreams do come true, it’snice to know that, unlike so manyother things in life, the victorieshaven’t been contrived.listingsTHE MAIN EVENTTEXAS PREMIER FOOTBALL CAMP ANDGOLF TOURNEY will benefit the Boys& Girls Clubs of the Austin Area. Kidsages 7-18 will learn all the fundamentalfootball skills and drills that the pros usefrom some of the NFL’s finest (MichaelHuff, Nathan Vasher, Roy Williams, CedricGriffin, and many more). The celebritygolf tourney will benefit the Cole PittmanMemorial Fund. Camp: Thu.-Fri., July 9-10,9am-3pm. St. Michael’s Catholic Academy,3000 Barton Creek Blvd. Golf tourney:Sat., July 11, 1:30pm. Falconhead GolfClub, 15201 Falconhead Blvd.www.texaspremiercamp.com.w REVENGE OF THE BUNS: VEGGIEHOT DOG EATING CONTEST In additionto being a ton of fun, this event hostedby iLoveMikeLitt also promotes “independencefrom meat and its harmful environmentalimpacts.” Entry fee includes a freeveggie dog for noncompetitors as well asfree NadaMoo! ice cream, live music fromHollywood Gossip, and special guests. Allages are welcome. Competition at 2pm.Sat., July 4, 1-4pm. Tiniest Bar in Texas,817 W. Fifth. $5. www.veggiedogcontest.com.THE HOME TEAMSTEXAS ROLLERGIRLS The Hustlers willbattle the Hotrod Honeys, and the HonkyTonk Heartbreakers look to lasso the HellMarys with prebout music provided bySan Fran’s the Pleasure Kills and halftimejams courtesy of ex-Groovie Ghoulie KepiGhoulie. Sun., July 5, 6:30pm (doors).Playland Skate Center, 8822 McCann Dr.$15 ($12, advance). www.txrollergirls.com.ROUND ROCK EXPRESS Head out tothe Dell, and catch the rising stars ofthe Astros organization. Vs. Nashville:Thu.-Fri., July 2-3, 7:05pm. Dell Diamond,3400 E. Palm Valley Blvd., Round Rock,512/255-2255. $6-13.www.roundrockexpress.com.w AUSTIN AZTEX U-23 The Aztexyoungsters are playing their second seasonin the Premier Development League.This game is being held at Texas State’sBobcat Stadium. See “Soccer Watch,”right, for more. Vs. Laredo: Fri., July 3,7:30pm. Bobcat Stadium at Texas State,San Marcos. $8 adults, $5 kids, kids under5 free. www.austinaztex.com.ALTERNATIVE SOFTBALL LEAGUE ALL-STAR GAME The finest (drunken) athletesfrom all of Austin’s most awesome establishments(BookPeople, Waterloo Records,Emo’s Lounge, KOOP Radio, SXSW, C3Presents, Wheatsville, the Chronicle, etc.)will be lacing them up in the ASL’s secondannual all-star game. Afterparty at Red 7.Sun., July 5, 7:30pm. Krieg Field,517 S. Pleasant Valley. Free.www.myspace.com/alternativesoftballleague.RECREATION & FITNESSw JESUS CHAVEZ BOXING CLINICBoys and girls ages 12-17 will learnsome life skills, how to stay fit, propernutrition, and, most fun of all, the sweetscience of boxing. Free boxing exhibitionFriday, July 10, at 6pm. Tue.-Fri., July 7-10,9am-4pm. Palmer Events Center,900 Barton Springs Rd.AUSTIN MASTERS SWIMMING CITYCHAMPIONSHIPS features many differentevents split by age and gender. Sun.,July 5, 9am. The Jewish Community Assoc i-ation of Austin pool, 7300 Hart, 327-2260.www.americanswimmingassociation.com.SUPER SERIES WORLD SERIESBASEBALL TOURNEY Round Rock playshost to this hard-ball tourney featuringteams from across Texas. Kids ages 11to 16 will participate. Sat.-Sat., July 4-11and Fri.-Wed., July 17-22. Old Settlers Park,3300 E. Palm Valley Blvd., Round Rock.www.sportscapitaloftexas.com.w EAST-WEST GAME DAY It’s theEastsiders vs. the Westsiders in this family-friendlygathering at the historic PalmPark, featuring old-timey games such assack races, watermelon dives, washertourneys, and much more. Let’s breakdown that I-35 barrier. Sat., July 4, 4-8pm.Palm Park, 601 E. Third. pio@grandecom.net.FIRST SATURDAY AT HARVEY PENICKGOLF COURSE “Try before you buy” lotsof new and used golf equipment. Therewill also be putting and closest-to-the-pincontests and free 30-minute golf lessons.Sat., July 4, 8am. Penick Golf Campus,5501 Ed Bluestein Blvd., 926-1100.RUNS, WALKS, & RIDESFIRECRACKER 5K EVENING RUNEnjoy a flat and fast 5K run. Thu., July 2,7:30pm. River Ridge Business Park onemile north of San Marcos, 512/393-8280.$15 ($20 day of race).LAGO VISTA FIRECRACKER 5K Get outof the city for this fun run along the northshore of Lake Travis. Fourth of July festivitiesfollow. Sat., July 4, 8am; wheelchairsat 7:45am; mile fun run at 7:30am. Heath erPark, Lago Vista. www.lagovistajuly4.org.austinchronicle.com/sportsNELSON SCHOLARSHIP 5K RUN Celebratethe Fourth with this chip-timed loopthrough the Berry Creek and Logan Ranchneighborhoods in George town. Proceedsbenefit the Nelson Tennis Foundation,which provides scholarships for GeorgetownHigh students. Sat., July 4, 7:30am.Berry Creek Racquet Club, 449 ChampionsDr., Georgetown, 512/818-0551.www.nelsontennisfoundation.net.SUNSTROKE SUMMER STAMPEDERACE NO. 8 A series of 12 chip-timed5K races on two alternating courses(Brushy Creek and Town Lake Trail) eachWednesday night this summer. Wed.,July 8, 7pm. Town Lake Trail (I-35 at theRiverside parking lot), 444-2800 x8900.www.summerstampede.com.FREEDOM 5000 Runners in this thirdannual5K will enjoy a beautiful routethrough West Austin. Proceeds benefitthe Runtex Foundation and the VolunteerServices for the Austin State School.Parking available inside the facilitygrounds. Sat., July 4, 8am. 2203 W. 35th,472-3254.SUBMISSION INFORMATION:The Austin Chronicle is published everyThursday. Info is due the Monday of the week priorto the issue date. The deadline for the July 17issue is Monday, July 6. Include name of event,date, time, location, price, phone number(s), adescription, and any available photos or artwork.Include SASE for return of materials.Send submissions to the appropriate writer(see below). Mail to the Chronicle, POB 49066,Austin, 78765; fax, 458-6910; or e-mail:Mark Fagan (Sports):gameplans@austinchronicle.com.Questions? Contact Wayne Alan Brenner, Listingseditor, at brenner@austinchronicle.com.BY NICK BARBARO soccer watchAs we go to press Wednesday evening, the Austin Aztex are hostingthe Houston Dynamo in the U.S. Open Cup round of 16; that result willbe online by the time you read this. The night before, United SoccerLeague teams won four games out of six in their first day of Open Cupcompetition against Major League Soccer clubs. In the biggest surprises,the defending champion Columbus Crew lost at home to theRochester Rhinos, and New England lost at home to Harrisburg City of theUSL-2. In fact, the only MLS wins were by Kansas City over Minnesota inpenalty kicks and D.C. United over the amateur Ocean City Barons. Alsoadvancing: Wilmington (USL-2) over Chicago and Charleston (USL-1) overChivas USA. The Cup quarterfinals are next Tuesday, July 7; the Aztex-Dynamo winner plays at Charleston.The Aztex U-23s had a rough road trip last weekend – a 1-1 drawagainst the Laredo Heat on Friday, followed by a 5-1 loss to Rio GrandeValley on Sunday, leave the Azteclets tied with El Paso for first place in thePDL Mid South Division, with four games left to play. They host third-placeLaredo this Friday, July 3, 7:30pm, at Bobcat Soccer Complex in San Marcos– a huge game, since only the Top 2 teams make the playoffs.Wow! What a gutsy (and unexpected) turnaround by the U.S. men in theConfederations Cup last week in South Africa. After clawing their wayinto the knockout round with a six-goal turnaround on the last day ofgroup play, the Yanks ended Spain’s world-record winning streak in thesemis, then went up 2-0 in the final against the best Brazilian squad inyears before wilting in the second half and losing 3-2… So, is it time tocare about soccer? Stephen Colbert thinks so; see why on our Sportsblog at austinchronicle.com/sports.Got a sporting event you’d like to see listed inThe Austin Chronicle? Submit your sporty happeningonline at austinchronicle.com/commform.a u s t i n c h r o n i c l e . c o m JULY 3, 2009 T H E A U S T I N C H R O N I C L E 61