July 3, 2009 - The Austin Chronicle

July 3, 2009 - The Austin Chronicle July 3, 2009 - The Austin Chronicle

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free!CREATE A PROFILE ANDBROWSE MORE ADS ONLINE!austinchronicle.com/loverslaneEH, WHY NOT?I can’t believe I did this. Looking toexpand my circle of friends maybefind a cute boy to date. I love movies,tattoos, piercings, laughing,fireman’s4 and my ferret. Crystalof-MassDestruction, 27, , #130646STARRY-EYED POETSWPF, 51, loves life, history, poetry,travel, movies,intelligent conversation.Seeking SWPM who isn’tfocused on looks more than what’sinside. Non-smoking morning peopleget brownie points. :). poetessintexas,51, , , #130637GHETTO BIKE ANGELLove Austin and everything aboutit. Hiking and swimming during theday- going downtown and partyingat night. Kind of hippy, kind of punk.Looking for someone to keep up.LoveMyBike, 26, , #128379METAL TO CLASSICALI’m quiet and reserved.Looking forcompany to cook,camp,build.Go outto dinner and sit at the bar. No oneneeding external validation. Adventurelover and music lover. Science geeksplease reply. Karlita, 34, , #129841SEEKING ADVANCEDSERENDIPITYOld-school northern rock chick has hada big life, not done yet. Finally readyto find her partner in crime for LTR.Please be able to keep up, be cool.HelenHighwater, 42, , #130592DOES CUSSING COUNT?Big Smile. I don’t like games unlessthey involve drinking and elizabethberkely in Showgirls. I also cuss alot,like to smoke when I drink and smellgood.Friends monsieur? lovemydamndog,25, , #130522GRIMMYS ANGELIm a mother of 4 kids, who worksalot and is going to school so i havelittle time, but i woulld like to findsomeone to have fun with. Txangel1971,37, , #130562GOOD PERSONI listen to underground rock musicand it is a huge part of my life. I wantsomeone who will respect me forwho I am and what I like. PekiVremen,25, , #130542SWEET AND SAUCYI’m eternally optimistic, love my joband cannot tolerate morons. I wantsomeone honest and adventurous,who is good company and whomakes me want to be a better person.Callipygion, 33, , #130504THEWORLDISMYASHTRAYJust moved to town. Vegetarian,smoker, wino, music-aholic. plz dontbother if u type like dis its not kewl.yeah. ok. lazerfloyd, 24, , #130488NEW YORK GAL.Looking for a strong hearted gentleman.Likesto have fun and laugh. Keepme smiling.I am thoughtful,love theocean, like to travel. Senitive and hardworking. No lieing, Bowling, pool,.picnics. Pacino, 53, , #130455DOPEY;)i love to have random nights.musicis life...so cliche, i know.movies arealways fun. like meeting new people.photography is my passion.uhh..idon’t really know what else to say.myopia6, 19, , #130452FOR THE ONELooking for a man who is interestedin developing a long term relationship.Enjoys the simple things in lifelike a beautiful sunset on the lake.bobcat1718, 45, , #130558Flavor of the WeekCrystalofMassDestructionEh, why not?I hate this part. Here goes it. I’m originallyfrom MD/DC, moved to Austin 2 years agoand STILL haven’t experienced as much as Ishould have by now. I love movies, tattoos, piercings, laughing,fireman’s 4 and my ferret. I thrive on honesty and don’t BS. Itend to get along with everyone and I laugh A LOT, I mean ALOT, not annoyingly, but I’m generally a pretty happy person.read the rest of CRYSTALOFMASSDESTRUCTION’sprofile or enter your own profile for FREE online ataustinchronicle.com/loverslaneNATURAL SEXY FUNNYFreelance writer who loves Austin.Liberal, ethical, and definitely not religiousor spiritual. Would like to datea man whom I find attractive andenjoy talking to for hours. PlanetJan,47, , #124147SUMMER CRUSHIN’I have a great outlook on life. I amfree spirited, love summer days,drinking margaritas, doing somethingoutdoorsy, or just hanging out withfriends. caramia, 25, , #130415HOPELESS ROMANTICI just moved back to the ATX.I’m asingle mother to a little girl.I loveoutdoors,sports.If you aren’t interestedin kids,look somewhere else.Ilove to have a good time. ATXGirl85,24, , #130399RESPONSIBLE, SWEET, SASSYHard worker seeks responsiblemale with ambition. Conversationis important. Must like to go out onoccasion, but prefer more low keythings. sl1038, 25, , #120188many more ads online!austinchronicle.com / loverslaneDON’T FOLLOW RULESIf you like the idea of coffee onrollerskates, shooting squirrelswith marshmallows or going forhigh tea at the Driskill dressed in atutu, drop me a line. Blindlove, 40,, #130373LOOKING FOR SPUD-BOYHello people I’ll keep on point andtask here I love a sense of humora good one that is looking for coolhonest people that understand mypotato. plutodrive, 35, , #130366SOMETHING QUIRKY HMMM...I haven’t truly experienced austin forwhat it is and I would like to makesome friends who can show me thebeauty of austin...any takers? Nani-Monty, 20, , , #130363YOUNG SOCIAL GEEKThink you can hang with a girl wholikes d20s, zombie flicks, dive bars,twitter and dance clubs? 24yo, bespeckledSWF looking for fun in anyform. sleeper057, 24, , #130343FIND MEI am looking for true love I’d liketo share my passion of life withSB.’Couse I believe that even withkids and husband we still canclimb on Killimangaro. mayabee,26, , #130325BROWSE these ads andmore online for FREE.ENTER your ownprofile for FREE.RESPOND by e-maildirectly through oursite with a membership.MUSICLOVER SEEKING SAMEoutgoing and intriguing guy seekingfellow music lover and hippie.calek678, 23, , #130638HAVE YOU RTSGQ?I just moved to Austin to pursue comedyand am looking for someone tojoke around with, watch movies, andadventure through time and space.Dobovanny, 23, , #130631DRIVEFASTTAKECHANCESi just moved to austin from lakehavasu city arizona and need a fewpeople to hang out with and showme what austin has to offeer. havasurider250,26, , #130629LOOKING FOR HERim an awesomely fun, chill guy lookingto share my experiences withsomeone. so lets you and me burn acouple of J’s and see where the windtakes us. Dr_Gonzo, 25, , #130624WHATSWITH THE HEATTXIm quite at first but people say I likedyou better when you where quite.haha funny... dan09, 38, , #130622READY TO RUN!Me: Tall, athletic, and independent.Love to play guitar. Introvert, but agreat listener. You: Drug, drama, &baggage free. 23 to 28, must be 5’8+to ride ;). greattall1, 25, , #130593LOOKING 4 FUNJust looking for someone cool tohang out with have a few drinks with,hoping some nice girls will be willingto show a bored guy a good time.burnie3747, 25, , #130615EXPERIMENTAL, HAPPY,MELLOWMeYou Yes: positive, inquisitive,activist, contributor, inventive, creative,idealistic, healthy. No: greedy,selfish, addicted, belittler, rigid,mercurial Likes: art shows, travel,adventurous dining, live music,.quillman, 37, , #130591SEEKING INTERESTING LADYfor fabulous funky times Professionaltall Enlish guy with a keen sense ofhumor romantic who is sensuous affectionateand tactile. Enjoys eatingout with a good red wine,and dancing.LesterC27, 48, , #130612DREADLOCK RASTAI’m looking for a woman in thestreets, and a freak in the sheets.rastaherbalist, 30, , #130557RATIONAL, EXPERIMENTAL,UNDERSTANDINGI enjoy music, cooking, and baking.I’m looking for someone to havesome fun with, just kicking back orout on the town. Must love my kid, jk=). jslick, 37, , #130605CLAZZI, OPEN MINDEDEasy going, all i need is good discussions,food, friends, traveling. Art/music is my life, and living life makesmy art. go big or go home as i say!proxemics, 24, , #130584SINGLE AND LOOKINGIm a single male looking for someoneto spend my time with. She can besmart and funny. Also likes to playsome games such as D&D and playstation.Matmcp26, 26, , #130576WEIRDOS APPLY!I’m hip (or hep), intense, creative,talented, brainy, and analytical. I’mnot sure what I’m looking for, but I’llknow when I find it. doctor_fuzz, 40,, #130574GET FUNKY.Sup. I’m an Austinite that’s beenemployed as a travel agent goin’ on8 years now. I enjoy good food, rockn roll, the lake, my Jeep, and latenights! C, 32, , , #130573FUNNY, OUTGOING, CREATIVEhello all! i’m looking to meet somegroovy open minded people whowant to raise their quality of life andexperience new things. i’m 23, intelligent,and love the outdoors. iwantyoursalvation,23, , #130568NEED SOUTHERN BELLEI love being outdoors! MountainBiking, disc golfing, Dog Parks, Livemusic, Greenbelt hikes, and BartonSprings. How can I forget the most important:OLE MISS FOOTBALL!!! GoREBELS! Chainstar, 29, , #130531YOUR MOVE NOW!Keep in mind that when it comesto failed adventures it’s only theexecution that was wrong NOT theattempt! Bishop, 39, , #130544CANNIBALISM NOTDEALBREAKERI think life should be felt intesely atall moments if possible -- even themundane can be saturated with vitalityfor someone with the right mindset.ceci_n_est, 26, , #130469RESPONSIBLE AT HEARTI’m a big sci-fi, anime, manga dork. I’malso a musician who plays synths inan indie-rock band. I also record solo,and that stuff is much more shoegazey.skewbert, 41, , #130514indicates that a photo is posted online.means there is a voice message you can listen to. With a membership,you can listen and respond to as many voicemessages as your heart desires. There are no 900 numbers orper-minute fees. Regular long-distance charges may apply.VOICE RESPONSE: 520.547.4265I’M 19!the best friend you will evr had notto brite,but supper sweet i’m supperQUIET! love to listen, im very shygAngsta rockstAr cute. sheezeniz,81, , #130587WHAT’S COOKIN’?I blend well,love creating,deep wittyconversation, good friends,goodfood,outdoor most anything. LoveFem women, ocean breeze, hike,travel, adventure, clear honest communication,good humor, romance,learning. Devine303, 40, , #130350FUNNY, SERIOUS, CONFUSEDEven though I like to think I’munique, I’m sure I’m just like everyother 21 year old out there exceptI’m someone you’ll never regretknowing. krisnm, 21, , #129775LIPSTICK, DANCING,ROMANTICOutgoing, witty and smart, love todance, going to the movies and theatre,cooking, reading, swimming, biking,hiking, and gardening fool lookingfor ladybugs, lots and lots of ladybugs.germaniris41, 42, , #129627HUMOROUS, QUIRKY, SHYI believe in the energy that surroundsus, and the positive energy that I putforth will bring positive results. Lookingfor friends and should the attractionbe right, LTR. MaestroDelGato,50, , #127339SSSEXICANi live my life one day at a time. lovemorning coffee, watching movies,live music, cooking, sports, mt. bonnell,& people with a sense of humor.call me :). posdata, 28, , #129223DELICIOUS JAMS OHYEAHI love tattoos, reggae, live music,boardshorts, outdoorsyness, lips, mr.chen, adventure, laughing, reading,writing, biology, random trivia, androckband. I want your body. Natisfaction,23, , #128909SARCASM GALOREI’m new to the Austin area, and lookingto meet some cool new peopleto show me around this lovely place.Ilove traveling, cooking, dancing,electronic music, & watching movies.erinlagrif, 26, , #128758austinchronicle.com/loverslanemembership is simple:LOVERS LANE7-day pass ........................ $10.0030-day pass ...................... $20.0090-day pass ...................... $40.00Each pass gives you all-access, unlimitedsearching, browsing, e-mailing,calling, and responding.114 T H E A U S T I N C H R O N I C L E JULY 3, 2009 a u s t i n c h r o n i c l e . c o m

ENTER TO WIN! Place a FREE PROFILE on LoversLane with your photo before 5pm, Monday, August 3, and youcould win 12 PASSES to REGAL CINEMAS!SMARTASSCHICKLaid-back, 33 year-oldprofessional,soft-butch (whatever thehell that means??!!). I would like tomeet an attractive, chill woman whohas a brain and can have a stimulatingconvo, good kisser. cooshrockets,33, , #128395LOOK HERE, PLEASE!Looking for friendship, dating.Interests include camping, biking,theater, movies, reading, canoeing,traveling. Politically progressive,romantic, passionate, humorous, anddo community work Am 5’9, 163#,62yo, trim gray beard, masculine.AusAbogado, 63, , #124933CHUY’S 183 WAITERMe - Tan Tank, Hair Up, Tattoos You- Brought me yummy ranch Receipt -Said “Thank you for the white Sauce”I should have wrote my numberdown When: Saturday, June 27.Where: Chuy’s 183. You: Man. Me:Woman. #904193HELPED OLD LADYYears ago - You placed ad: “youhelped old lady with gas cap & wassweetest thing I’ve seen..” I wason Jollyville Rd on bike -just foundad! When: Monday, June 27, 2005.Where: Jollyville Rd. You: Woman.Me: Man. #904192ROMEO&THELONELYGIRLSara, your dog is named Fezzik.We met at Red 7, then at the dogpark. I thought I’d see you again,but I haven’t. Wish I’d gotten yournumber:( When: Tuesday, May 19.Where: Red 7, Riverside Dog Park.You: Woman. Me: Man. #904191BABY GREENS THINGSYou served me my greek salad withchicken in the drive-thru, along withan intoxicating smile. Friday 6/26~3pm. Be still my foolish heart. Coffeesome time? When: Friday, June26. Where: baby greens & things.You: Woman. Me: Man. #904190BIKE VS CARI still want to be your girlfriend! Letsgo ride bikes. But only after youremy boyfriend. Go ride down RedRiver some more so I can yell atyou. When: Wednesday, June 17.Where: red river & dean keaton.You: Man. Me: Woman. #904189SETON YOGA YOGACurly Red Head w/beautiful babydoing sign in. We flirted a little.U &Maya(?) to the park? You’ve given methe best years of my life. Thanx baby.Love Ian When: Thursday, June11. Where: Seton Yoga Yoga. You:Woman. Me: Man. #904185CUTE CAR HECKLERMe hauling ass on my bike down RedRiver and looking cool. You yelled “Iwant to be your girlfriend”. Whazzzzzup?When: Monday, June 15.Where: Red River and Dean Keeton.You: Woman. Me: Man. #904172austinchronicle.com/loverslaneLONELY TONIGHTI’m very passionate and love doingespcial things for others such astaking them out to eat, shopping andteaching them music. I love partyingand enjoy staying home. lonely, 42,, #130371LOOKING MR RIGHT.Hello there i am looking for my Mr.Right. If u think u are man enoughdo it i love real men who knows whoand what they are. timslemp32, 32,, #130229FUNNY, WEIRD INTROVERTgeeky introvert looking to share mypassion for david foster wallacebooks, obscure music and theatre.i love bicycling, the Alamo Ritz andlong walks. let’s meet over burgers.antisecurity, 22, , #129863LONELY ROMANTIC38yo,Hispanic male , 5’6”,200,br/br,very easy going and affectionate,romantic,spontaneous,ambitious,love the outdoors,travel,would liketo find a guy i can spend time withand get to know and see what happensfrom there. sthaustin78704,38, , #130019 shot darkTOWN LAKE BLONDEYou: Blonde, black outfit Me: UTshorts, black shirt. Was zoned out &when I realized how dumb I was, uwere getting in gray VW SUV. Playtag again? When: Monday, June22. Where: Town Lake trails. You:Woman. Me: Man. #904183NATURAL GROCER HOTTIEYou have dark hair and red&blackglasses. Wanted you to check meout but you had disappeared. Wannacheck me out over a beer sometime?I live on the eastside...RioRita?When: Thursday, June 25. Where:Natural Grocer. You: Woman. Me:Woman. #904188VIDEO STORE!!!shucks. i never do this, but you’re thegirl that rented “from beyond”. i suggested“society”. it was carly? yougave me a stomach butterflies, andi don’t get those! When: Sunday,June 21. Where: i luv video. You:Woman. Me: Man. #904178ROMEO&THELONELYGIRLYou have a dog named Fezzik. Wemet at Red 7, then at Riverside DogPark.Haven’t seen you since. Wish I’dasked for your number. Hope to seeyou again. When: Tuesday, May 19.Where: red 7, riverside dog park.You: Woman. Me: Man. #904194ALANNA @ SIXTH/CONGRESSWe passed at the corner. You said I wascute and asked for a kiss. I said I’d findyou and you said you doubted it. Serendipity?When: Friday, June 19. Where:Corner of Sixth and Congress. You:Woman. Me: Man. #904177SCREECHING WEASELYou: Hulk T-shirt Really Hot so I offeredyou some ICE you accepcted!Wanna get an Icee with me? I likecherry the best! When: Friday, June19. Where: Emo’s. You: Man. Me:Woman. #904176FUNNY, SWEET, NAUGHTYLooking for adventure. I like doinganything from stimulating my brainto “Stimulus Packages”. Need aguy who’s friends with his innerchildand is open to anything. Is ityou? spongebob_naughtypants,23, , #129945COOKING UP COMMITMENT.I want THAT commitment, thebond that only happens when yourpartner is never on the back burnerOR the front burner, but is the fireunder all we do. Austinactor, 47,, , #129916UNCONVENTIONAL,NON-SCENE, MASCULINENon-scene unconventional beardedguy n2 coffeehouses & outdoorslkng 4 similar types. Talby, 41, ,, #129374LAID BACK GUYBeen single too long. Laid back guyhere who loves meeting new people.Looking for that one special personto hang out with, get to know, andsee what happens. AustinRomance,31, , #128768LOVEJOYS TALL BEAUTYYou’re a tall dark pigtailed glass ofbeautiful. Caught you looking atLovejoy’s reggae night. Me: gingerguy that was sitting by the windows.How about a drink together sometime?When: Sunday, June 21.Where: Lovejoy’s. You: Woman.Me: Man. #904187ROYAL BLUE ANGELRocky Mt business traveler, in townevery month, baseball cap. I buy RedBull each morning, but its you thatgives me wings...drink sometime?When: Thursday, June 18. Where:royal blue grocery. You: Woman.Me: Man. #904174More ads online!SEARCH BY DATE, PLACE & KEYWORDNOW WITH PHOTOSPALM TREE ANGELYou: biology with 3.9 GPA, x-Navymom of two kids. Me: Got yourmessage of ThankYous, andtoreturnyourcall. You forgot to leaveyour contact number (4/20). HappyBirthday in June. When: Monday,March 2. Where: N.Austin. You:Woman. Me: Man. #904173KILTWEARING KNITTING GUYBacked into you at Hill CountryWeavers after Yarn Harlot spoke.I asked you what spider Stephaniesaw. I have long brown hair.Saw your picture in her blog,David? When: Saturday, July 29,2006. Where: Hill Country Weavers.You: Man. Me: Woman. #904171BARTENDING HANDSOMELYYou: Mixing drinks with smile andstyle Me: Wanted to talk but got shy.Told me your name was Joe. I saidI had to go. You didn’t deserve that.When: Sunday, June 21. Where:Nature’s Point. You: Man. Me:Woman. #904180justBEAUTIFUL IN SPIRIT...I love the outdoors, live music, watereverything (boating), travel, cooking(really, a bit of everything! ;). If you feelthe same, I welcome hearing fromyou.. sweetooyou, 45, , #130649LEVEL, HONEST, SPONTANIOUSI like activities and different types ofpeople. I am really laid back, not carefree per say, but take care of my responsibilitiesto the best of my ability.addhyperactive, 26, , #125465NY IN AUSTINBeen here 3 months. to meetpeople, I have gone to book clubsand one rpg. looking for people toplay basketball with, bar hopping orAlamo Drafthouse. AnchorPete, 26,, #130596BOB SHOW CUTIEYOU: Cute sarcastic half-Asian girlat Bob Schneider show. ME: Coolerhalf-Asian dude in orange-boy shirtminding my own business. Wannameet somewhere in Austin withsome friends from church? When:Sunday, July 19. Where: Bob SchneiderShow. You: Woman. Me:Man. #904179THOM’S MARKET FRIYou: Blond boy with bike sitting infront of Thom’s Market Me:Girl withshort pigtails and tattoos- came outwith brown bag.Regretting I didn’t sayhi. Bike ride sometime? When: Friday,June 19. Where: Thom’s Market Fri.You: Man. Me: Woman. #904184NURSING STUDENT,HANGOVERYou:Cute nursing student sitting byme@The Hangover. Me:not fan ofnaked geriatrics. You left before wecould talk. Your second time seeingmovie, how about a second timeseeing me? When: Thursday, June18. Where: Lake Creek Alamo. You:Woman. Me: Man. #904175COFFEE AND SMILESYou showed up as I was leavingMonday morning. If I hadn’t hadsomething very important to do, Iwould’ve introduced myself. Youhave a nice smile...coffee andsmokes? When: Monday, June22. Where: Jo’s. You: Man. Me:Woman. #904181CAMERA OBSCURA BEAUTYYou wore blue dress, brown purse,took pictures and had a blue moon.We were near back right bar. I had onblack shirt. Would love to meet you.When: Tuesday, June 16. Where:Camera Obscura show at Antones.You: Woman. Me: Man. #904170BARTON SPRINGSRAINSTORM.you are a gorgeous redhead, youwere wearing a yellow swimsuit,were at barton springs with a boya few weeks ago, it started raining.what’s your name? When: Saturday,May 23. Where: Barton Springs.You: Woman. Me: Man. #904169FREE WILL ASTROLOGYby Rob Brezsny for July 3-9CANCER (June 21-July 22): The ancient Chinese sage Lao Tse said: “People of the highestcaliber, upon hearing about Taoism, follow it and practice it immediately. People of average caliber,hearing about Taoism, reflect for a while and then experiment. People of the lowest caliber, hearingabout Taoism, let out a big laugh.” Now substitute the words “your splashy new ideas” for “Taoism”in Lao Tse’s quote, and you’ll have your horoscope for this week, Cancerian. For added punch,remember what he said in another context: “No idea can be considered valuable until a thousandpeople have laughed at it.”LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Nietzsche’s dictum might be useful for you to keep in mind right now,Leo: “If it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger.” Since I’m very sure that the turbulent watersthrough which you’re navigating will not kill you, I’m looking forward to all the ways this journeywill upgrade your confidence and enhance your power. But there’s more to be gained beyond whatNietzsche formulated. It’s also true that if it doesn’t kill you (which it won’t), it will make you wilderand kinder and smarter and more beautiful.VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to my projections, you will not, in the coming weeks, meeta dark, secretive stranger who’ll play you like a violin. Nor will you be lured to the warehouse districtafter midnight to pick up the “missing stuff.” And I highly doubt that you will be invited to join a cultthat’s conspiring to seize political power following the events of December 21, 2012. No, Virgo.Your fate is far more mundane than that. In fact, it’s more likely that you will soon meet a bright,forthright stranger who will play you like an accordion. You will be drawn to a convenient location atmidday to pick up the “missing stuff.” And you will be invited to become part of a group that has thepotential to play a significant role in your quest for meaning in the coming years.LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For years, I’ve remembered most of my dreams every night, so I’m goodat spotting trends. And one of the themes that has arisen recently involves you, Libras. Last week, Idreamed that three of my Libra friends were pole vaulting at the Olympics. Four nights ago, I dreamedthat my two favorite Libran astrologers were rappelling down a skyscraper. Last night, I dreamed thatfour Libran celebrities – Mahatma Gandhi, Gwen Stefani, Sacha Baron Cohen (aka Borat), and KateWinslet – climbed a gold ladder to a cafe on a cloud where they drank magic coffee that made wingssprout on their backs. So what’s going on? Is my subconscious telling me that it’s prime time for youto raise your expectations and upgrade your goals? Do my dreams mean you should rise above theconventional wisdom and rededicate yourself to your loftiest ambitions? What do you think?SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Spiritual epiphany alert! Uncanny revelations imminent! Hope youdon’t mind being awoken in the middle of your regularly scheduled life by a special delivery fromthe great beyond. Yes, my cute little bundle of rumbling feelings and psychic sensitivities: It doesn’tmatter if you’re a true believer or an unrepentant infidel; you will soon be invited to have one of yourlogical certainties torn out by the roots and replaced with a throbbing vision of cosmic whoopee.Brace yourself for the most pungent fun you’ve had since your last mud wrestle with the angel.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): While appearing on the TV show I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out ofHere, ex-pro basketball player John Salley gave some advice I’d like to pass along. “When you see crazycoming your way,” he philosophized, “you should cross the street.” I do think crazy will be headed in yourdirection sometime soon, Sagittarius, and the best response you can make is to avoid it altogether, preferablyin a way that it doesn’t notice you. That’s right: Don’t shout at crazy, don’t bolt away ostentatiously,and certainly don’t run up and give crazy a big hug. There are far better ways for you to gather in your fairshare of intriguing mystery; I’d hate to see you get bogged down in a useless, inferior version of it.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Everyone wants an extra piece of you these days, and they don’tnecessarily care about how it will affect you. So beware of emotional manipulation, subliminalseduction, and the temptation to believe in impossible promises. To make matters more extreme,I suspect you may be secretly pleased that everyone wants an extra piece of you – and might betempted to conspire in your own dismantling. Let me propose a compromise. How about lettingthree trustworthy people – no more – take an extra piece of you? And be very certain that they haveenough self-control to know when to stop taking.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re almost never one brick short of a load. Know what I’msaying? Your elevator almost always goes all the way to the top floor. Rarely, if ever, do I have towarn you against playing with a deck of 51 cards. So I hope you don’t be offended when I say thatit’s time to find that missing brick and service your elevator and buy a new deck. In other words,you’re due for your 40,000 mile check-up.PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Magic (ma’ jik), n. 1) A mysterious event or process that seeminglyrefutes the known laws of science. 2) A willed transformation of one’s own state of mind.3) A surprising triumph that exceeds all expectations. 4) Something that works, though no oneunderstands why. 5) The impossible becoming possible. 6) “Any sufficiently advanced technology isindistinguishable from magic.” (Arthur C. Clarke.) 7. A quality predominant in the lives of Pisceansduring the period July 1 through July 20, 2009.ARIES (March 21-April 19): Time to diversify your energy sources, Aries. It’s as if you’ve growntoo dependent on oil – metaphorically speaking – and have neglected to develop relationshipswith wind turbines, solar panels, natural gas, and other means of generating power. What if in thefuture – metaphorically speaking – oil becomes scarcer or wildly expensive? And what if, over thelong haul, its byproducts degrade your environment? I suggest you start now to expand the varietyof fuels you tap into. It’s a perfect moment to adjust your plans for your long-term energy needs.TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your mirror may lie to you this week. A friend might neglect to sharea crucial detail. Even pets and heroes and normally reliable suppliers might not be completelythere for you. Fortunately, I expect that secondary sources will come through. Other people’s mirrorsmay reveal a clue you haven’t been able to find in your own. An acquaintance could stepforward and do a convincing impersonation of a friend. And a previously overlooked or unknownconnection might become your own personal wellspring. Moral of the story: If you’re willing to beflexible and forswear all impulses to blame, you won’t be deprived of what you need.GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Having discovered I can read the minds of animals, I’ve started a newsideline as a ghostwriter. Here’s an excerpt from an interview I did with Prestige, a potbellied pig bornunder the sign of Gemini. Brezsny: What do you like best about being a potbellied pig? Prestige: I’mgreedy but cute. I get to eat like a pig yet not be victimized by the negative judgments people usuallyproject onto pigs. Brezsny: Is there anything you’re worried about? Prestige: I need to make mycaretaker understand that for the next few weeks we Geminis will need more than the usual amountsof food, love, presents, praise, attention, everything. Brezsny: Anything you’d like to say to my Geminireaders? Prestige: Don’t let anybody make you feel guilty for wanting what you want.Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’sEXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 877/873-4888 or 900/950-7700.a u s t i n c h r o n i c l e . c o m JULY 3, 2009 T H E A U S T I N C H R O N I C L E 115

free!CREATE A PROFILE ANDBROWSE MORE ADS ONLINE!austinchronicle.com/loverslaneEH, WHY NOT?I can’t believe I did this. Looking toexpand my circle of friends maybefind a cute boy to date. I love movies,tattoos, piercings, laughing,fireman’s4 and my ferret. Crystalof-MassDestruction, 27, , #130646STARRY-EYED POETSWPF, 51, loves life, history, poetry,travel, movies,intelligent conversation.Seeking SWPM who isn’tfocused on looks more than what’sinside. Non-smoking morning peopleget brownie points. :). poetessintexas,51, , , #130637GHETTO BIKE ANGELLove <strong>Austin</strong> and everything aboutit. Hiking and swimming during theday- going downtown and partyingat night. Kind of hippy, kind of punk.Looking for someone to keep up.LoveMyBike, 26, , #128379METAL TO CLASSICALI’m quiet and reserved.Looking forcompany to cook,camp,build.Go outto dinner and sit at the bar. No oneneeding external validation. Adventurelover and music lover. Science geeksplease reply. Karlita, 34, , #129841SEEKING ADVANCEDSERENDIPITYOld-school northern rock chick has hada big life, not done yet. Finally readyto find her partner in crime for LTR.Please be able to keep up, be cool.HelenHighwater, 42, , #130592DOES CUSSING COUNT?Big Smile. I don’t like games unlessthey involve drinking and elizabethberkely in Showgirls. I also cuss alot,like to smoke when I drink and smellgood.Friends monsieur? lovemydamndog,25, , #130522GRIMMYS ANGELIm a mother of 4 kids, who worksalot and is going to school so i havelittle time, but i woulld like to findsomeone to have fun with. Txangel1971,37, , #130562GOOD PERSONI listen to underground rock musicand it is a huge part of my life. I wantsomeone who will respect me forwho I am and what I like. PekiVremen,25, , #130542SWEET AND SAUCYI’m eternally optimistic, love my joband cannot tolerate morons. I wantsomeone honest and adventurous,who is good company and whomakes me want to be a better person.Callipygion, 33, , #130504THEWORLDISMYASHTRAYJust moved to town. Vegetarian,smoker, wino, music-aholic. plz dontbother if u type like dis its not kewl.yeah. ok. lazerfloyd, 24, , #130488NEW YORK GAL.Looking for a strong hearted gentleman.Likesto have fun and laugh. Keepme smiling.I am thoughtful,love theocean, like to travel. Senitive and hardworking. No lieing, Bowling, pool,.picnics. Pacino, 53, , #130455DOPEY;)i love to have random nights.musicis life...so cliche, i know.movies arealways fun. like meeting new people.photography is my passion.uhh..idon’t really know what else to say.myopia6, 19, , #130452FOR THE ONELooking for a man who is interestedin developing a long term relationship.Enjoys the simple things in lifelike a beautiful sunset on the lake.bobcat1718, 45, , #130558Flavor of the WeekCrystalofMassDestructionEh, why not?I hate this part. Here goes it. I’m originallyfrom MD/DC, moved to <strong>Austin</strong> 2 years agoand STILL haven’t experienced as much as Ishould have by now. I love movies, tattoos, piercings, laughing,fireman’s 4 and my ferret. I thrive on honesty and don’t BS. Itend to get along with everyone and I laugh A LOT, I mean ALOT, not annoyingly, but I’m generally a pretty happy person.read the rest of CRYSTALOFMASSDESTRUCTION’sprofile or enter your own profile for FREE online ataustinchronicle.com/loverslaneNATURAL SEXY FUNNYFreelance writer who loves <strong>Austin</strong>.Liberal, ethical, and definitely not religiousor spiritual. Would like to datea man whom I find attractive andenjoy talking to for hours. PlanetJan,47, , #124147SUMMER CRUSHIN’I have a great outlook on life. I amfree spirited, love summer days,drinking margaritas, doing somethingoutdoorsy, or just hanging out withfriends. caramia, 25, , #130415HOPELESS ROMANTICI just moved back to the ATX.I’m asingle mother to a little girl.I loveoutdoors,sports.If you aren’t interestedin kids,look somewhere else.Ilove to have a good time. ATXGirl85,24, , #130399RESPONSIBLE, SWEET, SASSYHard worker seeks responsiblemale with ambition. Conversationis important. Must like to go out onoccasion, but prefer more low keythings. sl1038, 25, , #120188many more ads online!austinchronicle.com / loverslaneDON’T FOLLOW RULESIf you like the idea of coffee onrollerskates, shooting squirrelswith marshmallows or going forhigh tea at the Driskill dressed in atutu, drop me a line. Blindlove, 40,, #130373LOOKING FOR SPUD-BOYHello people I’ll keep on point andtask here I love a sense of humora good one that is looking for coolhonest people that understand mypotato. plutodrive, 35, , #130366SOMETHING QUIRKY HMMM...I haven’t truly experienced austin forwhat it is and I would like to makesome friends who can show me thebeauty of austin...any takers? Nani-Monty, 20, , , #130363YOUNG SOCIAL GEEKThink you can hang with a girl wholikes d20s, zombie flicks, dive bars,twitter and dance clubs? 24yo, bespeckledSWF looking for fun in anyform. sleeper057, 24, , #130343FIND MEI am looking for true love I’d liketo share my passion of life withSB.’Couse I believe that even withkids and husband we still canclimb on Killimangaro. mayabee,26, , #130325BROWSE these ads andmore online for FREE.ENTER your ownprofile for FREE.RESPOND by e-maildirectly through oursite with a membership.MUSICLOVER SEEKING SAMEoutgoing and intriguing guy seekingfellow music lover and hippie.calek678, 23, , #130638HAVE YOU RTSGQ?I just moved to <strong>Austin</strong> to pursue comedyand am looking for someone tojoke around with, watch movies, andadventure through time and space.Dobovanny, 23, , #130631DRIVEFASTTAKECHANCESi just moved to austin from lakehavasu city arizona and need a fewpeople to hang out with and showme what austin has to offeer. havasurider250,26, , #130629LOOKING FOR HERim an awesomely fun, chill guy lookingto share my experiences withsomeone. so lets you and me burn acouple of J’s and see where the windtakes us. Dr_Gonzo, 25, , #130624WHATSWITH THE HEATTXIm quite at first but people say I likedyou better when you where quite.haha funny... dan09, 38, , #130622READY TO RUN!Me: Tall, athletic, and independent.Love to play guitar. Introvert, but agreat listener. You: Drug, drama, &baggage free. 23 to 28, must be 5’8+to ride ;). greattall1, 25, , #130593LOOKING 4 FUNJust looking for someone cool tohang out with have a few drinks with,hoping some nice girls will be willingto show a bored guy a good time.burnie3747, 25, , #130615EXPERIMENTAL, HAPPY,MELLOWMeYou Yes: positive, inquisitive,activist, contributor, inventive, creative,idealistic, healthy. No: greedy,selfish, addicted, belittler, rigid,mercurial Likes: art shows, travel,adventurous dining, live music,.quillman, 37, , #130591SEEKING INTERESTING LADYfor fabulous funky times Professionaltall Enlish guy with a keen sense ofhumor romantic who is sensuous affectionateand tactile. Enjoys eatingout with a good red wine,and dancing.LesterC27, 48, , #130612DREADLOCK RASTAI’m looking for a woman in thestreets, and a freak in the sheets.rastaherbalist, 30, , #130557RATIONAL, EXPERIMENTAL,UNDERSTANDINGI enjoy music, cooking, and baking.I’m looking for someone to havesome fun with, just kicking back orout on the town. Must love my kid, jk=). jslick, 37, , #130605CLAZZI, OPEN MINDEDEasy going, all i need is good discussions,food, friends, traveling. Art/music is my life, and living life makesmy art. go big or go home as i say!proxemics, 24, , #130584SINGLE AND LOOKINGIm a single male looking for someoneto spend my time with. She can besmart and funny. Also likes to playsome games such as D&D and playstation.Matmcp26, 26, , #130576WEIRDOS APPLY!I’m hip (or hep), intense, creative,talented, brainy, and analytical. I’mnot sure what I’m looking for, but I’llknow when I find it. doctor_fuzz, 40,, #130574GET FUNKY.Sup. I’m an <strong>Austin</strong>ite that’s beenemployed as a travel agent goin’ on8 years now. I enjoy good food, rockn roll, the lake, my Jeep, and latenights! C, 32, , , #130573FUNNY, OUTGOING, CREATIVEhello all! i’m looking to meet somegroovy open minded people whowant to raise their quality of life andexperience new things. i’m 23, intelligent,and love the outdoors. iwantyoursalvation,23, , #130568NEED SOUTHERN BELLEI love being outdoors! MountainBiking, disc golfing, Dog Parks, Livemusic, Greenbelt hikes, and BartonSprings. How can I forget the most important:OLE MISS FOOTBALL!!! GoREBELS! Chainstar, 29, , #130531YOUR MOVE NOW!Keep in mind that when it comesto failed adventures it’s only theexecution that was wrong NOT theattempt! Bishop, 39, , #130544CANNIBALISM NOTDEALBREAKERI think life should be felt intesely atall moments if possible -- even themundane can be saturated with vitalityfor someone with the right mindset.ceci_n_est, 26, , #130469RESPONSIBLE AT HEARTI’m a big sci-fi, anime, manga dork. I’malso a musician who plays synths inan indie-rock band. I also record solo,and that stuff is much more shoegazey.skewbert, 41, , #130514indicates that a photo is posted online.means there is a voice message you can listen to. With a membership,you can listen and respond to as many voicemessages as your heart desires. <strong>The</strong>re are no 900 numbers orper-minute fees. Regular long-distance charges may apply.VOICE RESPONSE: 520.547.4265I’M 19!the best friend you will evr had notto brite,but supper sweet i’m supperQUIET! love to listen, im very shygAngsta rockstAr cute. sheezeniz,81, , #130587WHAT’S COOKIN’?I blend well,love creating,deep wittyconversation, good friends,goodfood,outdoor most anything. LoveFem women, ocean breeze, hike,travel, adventure, clear honest communication,good humor, romance,learning. Devine303, 40, , #130350FUNNY, SERIOUS, CONFUSEDEven though I like to think I’munique, I’m sure I’m just like everyother 21 year old out there exceptI’m someone you’ll never regretknowing. krisnm, 21, , #129775LIPSTICK, DANCING,ROMANTICOutgoing, witty and smart, love todance, going to the movies and theatre,cooking, reading, swimming, biking,hiking, and gardening fool lookingfor ladybugs, lots and lots of ladybugs.germaniris41, 42, , #129627HUMOROUS, QUIRKY, SHYI believe in the energy that surroundsus, and the positive energy that I putforth will bring positive results. Lookingfor friends and should the attractionbe right, LTR. MaestroDelGato,50, , #127339SSSEXICANi live my life one day at a time. lovemorning coffee, watching movies,live music, cooking, sports, mt. bonnell,& people with a sense of humor.call me :). posdata, 28, , #129223DELICIOUS JAMS OHYEAHI love tattoos, reggae, live music,boardshorts, outdoorsyness, lips, mr.chen, adventure, laughing, reading,writing, biology, random trivia, androckband. I want your body. Natisfaction,23, , #128909SARCASM GALOREI’m new to the <strong>Austin</strong> area, and lookingto meet some cool new peopleto show me around this lovely place.Ilove traveling, cooking, dancing,electronic music, & watching movies.erinlagrif, 26, , #128758austinchronicle.com/loverslanemembership is simple:LOVERS LANE7-day pass ........................ $10.0030-day pass ...................... $20.0090-day pass ...................... $40.00Each pass gives you all-access, unlimitedsearching, browsing, e-mailing,calling, and responding.114 T H E A U S T I N C H R O N I C L E JULY 3, <strong>2009</strong> a u s t i n c h r o n i c l e . c o m

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