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More oxford books @ www.OxfordeBook.comFore more urdu books visit www.4Urdu.com22THE EDUCATION OF AYN RAND, 1905–1943Even in a town of outsize ambitions Rand was extraordinarily driven.She lashed at herself in a writing diary, “Stop admiring yourself—youare nothing yet.” Her steady intellectual companion in these years wasFriedrich Nietzsche, and the first book she bought in English was ThusSpoke Zarathustra. Nietzsche was an individualist who celebrated selfcreation,which was after all what Rand was doing in America. Sheseemed to have been deeply affected by his emphasis on the will topower, or self-overcoming. She commanded herself, “The secret of life:you must be nothing but will. Know what you want and do it. Knowwhat you are doing and why you are doing it, every minute of the day.All will and all control. Send everything else to hell!” 28 Set on perfectingher English, she checked out British and American literature from thelibrary. She experimented with a range of genres in her writing, creatingshort stories, screenplays, and scenarios. She brought her best effortsinto the De Mille studio, but none were accepted.Rand was also absorbed by the conundrums of love, sex, and men.Shortly after arriving in Chicago she had written Seriozha to end theirrelationship. Her mother applauded the move, telling her daughter itwas “only the fact that you had been surrounded by people from thecaveman days that made you devote so much time to him.” She was lessunderstanding when Rand began to let ties to her family lapse. “You left,and it is though you divorced us,” Anna wrote accusingly when Rand didnot respond to letters for several months. 29 Rand was becoming increasinglywary of dependence of any kind. The prospect of romance in particularroused the pain of Lev’s rejection years earlier. To desire was toneed, and Rand wanted to need nobody.Instead she created a fictional world where beautiful, glamorous, andrich heroines dominated their suitors. Several short stories she wrotein Hollywood, but never published, dwelled on the same theme. TheHusband I Bought stars an heiress who rescues her boyfriend from bankruptcyby marrying him. Another heiress in Good Copy saves the careerof her newspaper boyfriend, again by marrying him, while in Escort awoman inadvertently purchases the services of her husband for an eveningon the town. In several stories the woman not only has financialpower over the man, but acts to sexually humiliate and emasculate himby having a public extramarital affair. In Rand’s imagination womenwere passionate yet remained firmly in control. 30