The Art of Happiness

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however, the patient reported, “Well, I guess Ididn’t get all my anger out after all. Right after Ileft here yesterday, as I was pulling out of theparking lot some jerk almost cut me off ... and Iwas furious! And I kept cursing that jerk undermy breath all the way home. I guess I still need afew more of those anger sessions to get the restof it out.”In setting out to conquer anger and hatred, theDalai Lama begins by investigating the nature ofthese destructive emotions.“Generally speaking,” he explained, “there are
many different kinds of afflictive or negativeemotions, such as conceit, arrogance, jealousy,desire, lust, closed-mindedness, and so on. Butout of all these, hatred and anger are consideredto be the greatest evils because they are thegreatest obstacles to developing compassion andaltruism, and they destroy one’s virtue andcalmness of mind.“In thinking about anger, there can be twotypes. One type of anger can be positive. Thiswould be mainly due to one’s motivation. Therecan be some anger that is motivated bycompassion or a sense of responsibility. Whereanger is motivated by compassion, it can be usedas an impetus or a catalyst for a positive action.Under these circumstances, a human emotion likeanger can act as a force to bring about swiftaction. It creates a kind of energy that enables an
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Table of ContentsTitle PageCopyrigh
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Chapter 8 - FACING SUFFERINGChapter
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RIVERHEAD BOOKSPublished by the Pen
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simultaneously in CanadaThe excerpt
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Dedicated to the Reader:May you fin
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of the book. Those who have read th
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as a growing body of scientific evi
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with respect to one’s own mental
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disposal of each of us. Given these
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new book so that others can share i
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THE BEGINNINGA full decade has now
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esult of the brutal invasion of Tib
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PUBLICATIONI vividly recall the mee
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egister his response.Looking a bit
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only minutes for the Dalai Lama to
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ooks by the Dalai Lama held no appe
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UNEXPECTED SUCCESSThat was ten year
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conditions of our lives finally fal
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popular subjects for research. Alth
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Seligman teamed up with another bri
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THE BENEFITS OF HAPPINESSOne of the
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directly related to one’s level o
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more systematic and direct way. The
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happiness that combines the best of
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disciples not to blindly accept his
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consistently supported the views ex
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KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ANDTHE PURSUI
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compassion makes people happier—o
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THE FUTURE OF THE ART OFHAPPINESSFo
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hatred, poverty—the list is long.
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AUTHOR’S NOTEIn this book, extens
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inadvertent distortions of the Dala
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throng of local reporters, photogra
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can leave the differences aside, I
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penetrating intelligence, but witho
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long pause and reflection, he simpl
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modes of analysis is a very strong
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across human behaviors that on the
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with: for instance, it does not acc
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hope is based on the belief that wh
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times chosen to omit portions of th
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Chapter 1THE RIGHT TO HAPPINESSI be
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goal. As a psychiatrist, however, I
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meaning, closer to’psyche’ or
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with a look of excitement and pleas
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unhappy people who tend to be most
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lives. Suppose, for instance, we’
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Chapter 2THE SOURCES OF HAPPINESSTw
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friend of the same age who found ou
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everyday life ; a pay raise, a new
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happiness—and the verdict is stil
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to be dissatisfied with our income
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at Buffalo, subjects were asked to
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we need a circle of friends with wh
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joy or fulfillment that you are see
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INNER CONTENTMENTCrossing the hotel
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one’s essential needs of food, cl
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gives you a immediate feeling of sa
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So, how can we achieve inner conten
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innocent passing remark such as,
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have been very difficult. While I w
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person will suffer because there is
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speaking to an Indian audience at R
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had visited that town many times an
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Everyday we are faced with numerous
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or twentieth-century scientists to
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defined by the Dalai Lama, that is
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THE PATH TO HAPPINESSIn identifying
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very bad and harmful to one persona
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important.“Now, we have spoken of
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might have a better definition of a
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MENTAL DISCIPLINEAs he spoke, I fou
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ody ; you need a variety of vitamin
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Buddhist practices are very helpful
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effect on the deeper mind. No hatre
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allowing electrical signals to trav
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ETHICAL DISCIPLINEIn a later discus
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true happiness, spiritual growth, a
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we consider education as a very imp
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learning and understanding, can hav
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understand that there are many diff
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crucial.”Sensing, I suppose, my c
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Chapter 4RECLAIMING OUR INNATESTATE
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fundamental nature of all sentient
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attitudes automatically and natural
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they arise when we are frustrated i
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econciliation that can be used to o
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the mid-1700s David Hume wrote a lo
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inclination to aggression is an ori
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people or violent, aggressive peopl
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themselves using the pronouns “I,
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his behavior on others.Revising our
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An infant is also biologically prog
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MEDITATION ON THE PURPOSEOF LIFEAs
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course of study to become a lawyer,
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at this time we will be here. But s
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Chapter 5A NEW MODEL FOR INTIMACY
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searching, desperately hoping to co
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“My basic belief is that you firs
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wrong; it leads to problems and can
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Because of the widespread occurrenc
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DEPENDENCE ON OTHERSVERSUS SELF-REL
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On that basis, the Dalai Lama point
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into being as a result of the effor
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the farmer the tractor to plow the
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INTIMACYOur need for other people i
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elationship ...”“Yes, I believe
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“So, when I was in Tibet or since
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laughed once again. ”But personal
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physical and psychological well-bei
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separated from other humans. He bel
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humans come into physical contact w
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also vary throughout the world and
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would validate the marriage.How peo
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particularly true when we go throug
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connection with others as possible.
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attendant discreetly glided into th
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ESTABLISHING EMPATHYWhile we had sp
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Similarly here, in order to be skil
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utcher. And then try to imagine the
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that generally speaking, when deali
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answered, “Whenever I meet people
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are dealing with. Also, being more
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made an attempt to connect with him
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ackground information that my frien
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urban predator dedicated to the Str
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morning, and as dark images rustled
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twenty rupees is only around a quar
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and of course I found his examples
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separated people. One survey found
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marry live at home in hell.”The a
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will also begin to disappear. On th
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ased on that initial attraction is
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the person in a cool state of mind
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person is kind, nice, and gentle, a
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intimacy. If that claim is honest,
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RELATIONSHIPS BASED ONROMANCEIt fel
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something that is based on fantasy,
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the subjective experience of the in
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love. According to this myth, the o
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At birth, the brain is not yet full
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I considered the problem of basing
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out almost every night this week, a
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things that I might want to look at
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It seems clear that as a source of
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a relationship, should we find ours
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Chapter 7THE VALUE AND BENEFITS OFC
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oughly defined in terms of a state
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you may have a feeling of hatred. S
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of generic compassion divorced from
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its pain.”“Yes,” said the Dal
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numb.“Now, in generating compassi
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of Buddhism we find two principal t
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feel particularly compassionate or
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The Dalai Lama stopped speaking for
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was OK, that there was no real requ
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people, it is still possible to pre
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sense of abandonment, so when you s
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even turned on his most faithful st
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his tea, even the contour of his sh
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“But the main point really ... if
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investigators found that doing regu
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truth of this view. We can discover
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than I’ve ever been in my life!
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that you have a right to have happi
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assembly that morning. I imagine th
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Chapter 8FACING SUFFERINGIn the tim
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The woman agreed and began goingfro
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problems. Sometimes these defense m
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focus on missing him right now; I h
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The Dalai Lama detailed his approac
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“But I think it’s still better
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an amniocentesis or sonogram and fi
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Shaking his head, he finally said,
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speaking, for instance, you feel ha
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in demonstration, ”is the very ba
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The Dalai Lama quickly clarified,
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craving and hatred, one can achieve
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imagine that the death of your brot
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about the issue of loss, to see if
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passed away.“For example, in my o
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Although pain and suffering are exp
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has improved for many in Western so
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Chapter 9SELF-CREATED SUFFERINGOn h
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soothingly. “By the way, how long
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those negative emotions that makes
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your own personal creation. On the
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waiter presented us with two free d
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“BUT IT’S NOT FAIR!”In our da
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on top of that having children with
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process. This indicates that there
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look at the problem with the attitu
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of course, there are many other bad
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lame everything on China. But there
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words, I am not worthy of the perso
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GUILTAs products of an imperfect wo
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and came to me as a sort of formali
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possibility of recognizing a bad si
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RESISTING CHANGEGuilt arises when w
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moment, no matter how pleasant or p
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contemplation and understanding ofi
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she cried frantically, “I think h
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she sighed. “It seemed that gradu
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must be over ; after all, there’s
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emotional closeness can increase; a
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crying “Leave me alone!” to his
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transitional periods can become piv
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seem to matter ; we’re really hap
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everyone who insulted him. When thi
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country. From that viewpoint, it is
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view your situation from a differen
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looked at me. I wondered if he sens
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continue to perceive them as 100 pe
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Inspired by the Dalai Lama’s word
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wretched than that? Carrying around
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egins to flow naturally.“So, for
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opportunity provided by your enemy.
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ultimately results in our strength.
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veal. It’s the very struggle of l
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may I think myself the lowest among
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then said, “There may be somethin
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only. Often they involved the attem
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conversation.
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man of generous proportions who had
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myself to remaining irritable for t
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A SUPPLY MINDThe ability to shift p
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suppleness of mind. It comes about,
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“When you speak of adopting a wid
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cultivation of patience and toleran
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THE IMPORTANCE OF FLEXIBLETHINKINGT
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As I got to know the Dalai Lama, I
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flexible, malleable, and adaptable,
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FINDING BALANCEDeveloping a flexibl
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of mind, bringing you more down to
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has got to be a balance....”After
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surface, it can in fact be harmful.
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think in many ways narrow-minded at
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Chapter 11FINDING MEANING IN PAIN A
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periods of acute crisis and tragedy
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e painful, but like the pain a woma
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and the Renaissance. In Switzerland
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much better now and we’re going t
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opportunity by thinking, ‘May my
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additional psychological pain, suff
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engaging in the wholesome actions a
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DEALING WITH PHYSICAL PAINBy reflec
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causing the rotting of the flesh, b
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In the same way that finding meanin
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in intense suffering to the pianist
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eward. Researcher Ronald Melzak too
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describes many reports of leprosy p
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desert temperatures outside, were u
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clearly in your mind. Then, on the
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or her own to be able to relieve hi
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powerful if you combine the‘givin
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Lama, perhaps not wanting to come a
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Part IVOVERCOMING OBSTACLES
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THE PROCESS OF CHANGEWe’ve discus
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smoking, first you have to be aware
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there is no feeling of tiredness or
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Dalai Lama answered. “In order to
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opposite purpose—‘Oh, there is
Page 530 and 531: once again I think the most effecti
Page 532 and 533: a set routine and you don’t need
Page 534 and 535: short period, say two years, there
Page 536 and 537: or active involvement. Of course, i
Page 538 and 539: happiness is widely overlooked. Yet
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Page 542 and 543: it is in fact the cornerstone of co
Page 544 and 545: important implications in the Dalai
Page 546 and 547: mind tempered by years of experienc
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Page 550 and 551: our mind. They feel that since thes
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Page 554 and 555: one’s own personal identity. Let
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Page 558 and 559: these positive factors are grounded
Page 560 and 561: certain things that we require, cer
Page 562 and 563: things.“When talking about elimin
Page 564 and 565: Concluding his discussion about the
Page 566 and 567: egins to take steps in that directi
Page 568 and 569: who you feel may have achieved thes
Page 570 and 571: to-day experiences (including dream
Page 572 and 573: must be loved and approved of by al
Page 574 and 575: emotions and counteract negative th
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Page 578 and 579: Robert Sapolsky at Stanford Univers
Page 582 and 583: individual to act quickly and decis
Page 584 and 585: “It is with this in mind that we
Page 586 and 587: pretend or adopt a dignified pose,
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Page 590 and 591: anger from arising in the first pla
Page 592 and 593: you are still subject to the destru
Page 594 and 595: eleased. The idea of getting rid of
Page 596 and 597: lower or moderate levels of anger,
Page 598 and 599: putting up with small problems or h
Page 600 and 601: world peace—that certainly can be
Page 602 and 603: can take a strong stand and even ta
Page 604 and 605: analyze the situation, you’ll rea
Page 606 and 607: Meditation on Anger: Exercise 1“L
Page 608 and 609: appearance,’ and so on. So once y
Page 610 and 611: for yourself ; investigate. So for
Page 612 and 613: Chapter 14DEALING WITH ANXIETY ANDB
Page 614 and 615: However, feelings of fear and anxie
Page 616 and 617: need pharmacological intervention.
Page 618 and 619: and began, reverting to my intermit
Page 620 and 621: our own mental creations. These fea
Page 622 and 623: a way out of the difficulty, then o
Page 624 and 625: of anxiety. For example, one type o
Page 626 and 627: eflect. At last he said, “I think
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one of compassion, even if I made a
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applying a counteractive thought: r
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mind and achieving happiness, the c
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who works at a department store in
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HONESTY AS AN ANTIDOTE TOLOW SELF-E
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theorists have related both low and
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In recent decades, the nature of
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negative way. It is based on sound
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“That’s right, that’s right,
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Besides contemplating one’s suffe
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“Here, I think you have to keep i
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confident and there’s no sense of
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laughing, saying:“I’m confused!
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our interview, the Dalai Lama asked
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ways that self-hatred can be cultur
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ased on experimental evidence, howe
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there may be a penetrating truth to
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On a subsequent visit to Dharamsala
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to such people is that we are gifte
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some sense we have this underlying
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Chapter 15BASIC SPIRITUAL VALUESTh
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course of our conversations, in fac
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mental dispositions. So, the variet
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One reason to respect these other t
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humanity and find useful aspects of
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Lama’s daily spiritual practice.
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least, I think daily, say a half an
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meditator who has a certain degree
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were inconceivably intricate and el
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even if a person committed atrociti
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and severe beatings, he was able to
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extremists. Until 1991 he was impri
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lower death rates, and improved hea
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Although some of the rewards of fai
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such as the Dalai Lama to try to di
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society will be more troubled. So,
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For those people, I think we can ed
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The Dalai Lama was due to attend a
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to the Dalai Lama, who spoke a few
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thoughts, observe the underlying na
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meditative practices, these definit
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mind inward; don’t let it chase a
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external objects ; we tend to look
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way through the surrounding crowd.
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To Dr. Thupten Jinpa for his friend
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voluminous material and focusing an
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THE ART OF HAPPINESS BOOKSERIESThe
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Handbook for Living in 1998, there
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India. His tireless efforts on beha
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1The term Dharma has many connotati
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achieves a state of Liberation.5The
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