The Art of Happiness

Recommendations

Info

‘I’m just going to focus on the here and now ;that’s the practical thing, and I don’t care aboutthe future or the ultimate attainment of Buddhahood,’then again, that is another extreme. So weneed to find an approach that is somewhere inbetween. We need to find a balance.“Dealing with expectations is really a trickyissue. If you have excessive expectations withouta proper foundation, then that usually leads toproblems. On the other hand, withoutexpectation and hope, without aspiration, therecan be no progress. Some hope is essential. Sofinding the proper balance is not easy. One needsto judge each situation on the spot.”I still had nagging doubts ; although we maycertainly modify some of our negative behaviorsand attitudes given enough time and effort, towhat extent is it truly possible to eradicate the
negative emotions? Addressing the Dalai Lama, Ibegan, “We’ve spoken about the fact thatultimate happiness depends on eliminating ournegative behaviors and mental states—things likeanger, hatred, greed, and so on...”The Dalai Lama nodded.“But these kinds of emotions seem to be anatural part of our psychological makeup. Allhuman beings seem to experience these darkeremotions to one degree or another. And if that’sthe case, is it reasonable to hate, deny, andcombat part of ourselves? I mean, it seemsimpractical, and even unnatural, to try tocompletely eradicate something that is an integralpart of our natural makeup.”Shaking his head, the Dalai Lama replied,“Yes, some people suggest that anger, hatred,and other negative emotions are a natural part of
Page 4 and 5:
Table of ContentsTitle PageCopyrigh
Page 6 and 7:
Chapter 8 - FACING SUFFERINGChapter
Page 10 and 11:
RIVERHEAD BOOKSPublished by the Pen
Page 12 and 13:
simultaneously in CanadaThe excerpt
Page 14 and 15:
Dedicated to the Reader:May you fin
Page 16 and 17:
of the book. Those who have read th
Page 18 and 19:
as a growing body of scientific evi
Page 20 and 21:
with respect to one’s own mental
Page 22 and 23:
disposal of each of us. Given these
Page 24 and 25:
new book so that others can share i
Page 26 and 27:
THE BEGINNINGA full decade has now
Page 28 and 29:
esult of the brutal invasion of Tib
Page 30 and 31:
PUBLICATIONI vividly recall the mee
Page 32 and 33:
egister his response.Looking a bit
Page 34 and 35:
only minutes for the Dalai Lama to
Page 36 and 37:
ooks by the Dalai Lama held no appe
Page 38 and 39:
UNEXPECTED SUCCESSThat was ten year
Page 40 and 41:
conditions of our lives finally fal
Page 42 and 43:
popular subjects for research. Alth
Page 44 and 45:
Seligman teamed up with another bri
Page 46 and 47:
THE BENEFITS OF HAPPINESSOne of the
Page 48 and 49:
directly related to one’s level o
Page 50 and 51:
more systematic and direct way. The
Page 52 and 53:
happiness that combines the best of
Page 54 and 55:
disciples not to blindly accept his
Page 56 and 57:
consistently supported the views ex
Page 58 and 59:
KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ANDTHE PURSUI
Page 60 and 61:
compassion makes people happier—o
Page 62 and 63:
THE FUTURE OF THE ART OFHAPPINESSFo
Page 64 and 65:
hatred, poverty—the list is long.
Page 66 and 67:
AUTHOR’S NOTEIn this book, extens
Page 68 and 69:
inadvertent distortions of the Dala
Page 70 and 71:
throng of local reporters, photogra
Page 72 and 73:
can leave the differences aside, I
Page 74 and 75:
penetrating intelligence, but witho
Page 76 and 77:
long pause and reflection, he simpl
Page 78 and 79:
modes of analysis is a very strong
Page 80 and 81:
across human behaviors that on the
Page 82 and 83:
with: for instance, it does not acc
Page 84 and 85:
hope is based on the belief that wh
Page 86 and 87:
times chosen to omit portions of th
Page 88 and 89:
Chapter 1THE RIGHT TO HAPPINESSI be
Page 90 and 91:
goal. As a psychiatrist, however, I
Page 92 and 93:
meaning, closer to’psyche’ or
Page 94 and 95:
with a look of excitement and pleas
Page 96 and 97:
unhappy people who tend to be most
Page 98 and 99:
lives. Suppose, for instance, we’
Page 100 and 101:
Chapter 2THE SOURCES OF HAPPINESSTw
Page 102 and 103:
friend of the same age who found ou
Page 104 and 105:
everyday life ; a pay raise, a new
Page 106 and 107:
happiness—and the verdict is stil
Page 108 and 109:
to be dissatisfied with our income
Page 110 and 111:
at Buffalo, subjects were asked to
Page 112 and 113:
we need a circle of friends with wh
Page 114 and 115:
joy or fulfillment that you are see
Page 116 and 117:
INNER CONTENTMENTCrossing the hotel
Page 118 and 119:
one’s essential needs of food, cl
Page 120 and 121:
gives you a immediate feeling of sa
Page 122 and 123:
So, how can we achieve inner conten
Page 124 and 125:
innocent passing remark such as,
Page 126 and 127:
have been very difficult. While I w
Page 128 and 129:
person will suffer because there is
Page 130 and 131:
speaking to an Indian audience at R
Page 132 and 133:
had visited that town many times an
Page 134 and 135:
Everyday we are faced with numerous
Page 136 and 137:
or twentieth-century scientists to
Page 138 and 139:
defined by the Dalai Lama, that is
Page 140 and 141:
THE PATH TO HAPPINESSIn identifying
Page 142 and 143:
very bad and harmful to one persona
Page 144 and 145:
important.“Now, we have spoken of
Page 146 and 147:
might have a better definition of a
Page 148 and 149:
MENTAL DISCIPLINEAs he spoke, I fou
Page 150 and 151:
ody ; you need a variety of vitamin
Page 152 and 153:
Buddhist practices are very helpful
Page 154 and 155:
effect on the deeper mind. No hatre
Page 156 and 157:
allowing electrical signals to trav
Page 158 and 159:
ETHICAL DISCIPLINEIn a later discus
Page 160 and 161:
true happiness, spiritual growth, a
Page 162 and 163:
we consider education as a very imp
Page 164 and 165:
learning and understanding, can hav
Page 166 and 167:
understand that there are many diff
Page 168 and 169:
crucial.”Sensing, I suppose, my c
Page 170 and 171:
Chapter 4RECLAIMING OUR INNATESTATE
Page 172 and 173:
fundamental nature of all sentient
Page 174 and 175:
attitudes automatically and natural
Page 176 and 177:
they arise when we are frustrated i
Page 178 and 179:
econciliation that can be used to o
Page 180 and 181:
the mid-1700s David Hume wrote a lo
Page 182 and 183:
inclination to aggression is an ori
Page 184 and 185:
people or violent, aggressive peopl
Page 186 and 187:
themselves using the pronouns “I,
Page 188 and 189:
his behavior on others.Revising our
Page 190 and 191:
An infant is also biologically prog
Page 192 and 193:
MEDITATION ON THE PURPOSEOF LIFEAs
Page 194 and 195:
course of study to become a lawyer,
Page 196 and 197:
at this time we will be here. But s
Page 198 and 199:
Chapter 5A NEW MODEL FOR INTIMACY
Page 200 and 201:
searching, desperately hoping to co
Page 202 and 203:
“My basic belief is that you firs
Page 204 and 205:
wrong; it leads to problems and can
Page 206 and 207:
Because of the widespread occurrenc
Page 208 and 209:
DEPENDENCE ON OTHERSVERSUS SELF-REL
Page 210 and 211:
On that basis, the Dalai Lama point
Page 212 and 213:
into being as a result of the effor
Page 214 and 215:
the farmer the tractor to plow the
Page 216 and 217:
INTIMACYOur need for other people i
Page 218 and 219:
elationship ...”“Yes, I believe
Page 220 and 221:
“So, when I was in Tibet or since
Page 222 and 223:
laughed once again. ”But personal
Page 224 and 225:
physical and psychological well-bei
Page 226 and 227:
separated from other humans. He bel
Page 228 and 229:
humans come into physical contact w
Page 230 and 231:
also vary throughout the world and
Page 232 and 233:
would validate the marriage.How peo
Page 234 and 235:
particularly true when we go throug
Page 236 and 237:
connection with others as possible.
Page 238 and 239:
attendant discreetly glided into th
Page 240 and 241:
ESTABLISHING EMPATHYWhile we had sp
Page 242 and 243:
Similarly here, in order to be skil
Page 244 and 245:
utcher. And then try to imagine the
Page 246 and 247:
that generally speaking, when deali
Page 248 and 249:
answered, “Whenever I meet people
Page 250 and 251:
are dealing with. Also, being more
Page 252 and 253:
made an attempt to connect with him
Page 254 and 255:
ackground information that my frien
Page 256 and 257:
urban predator dedicated to the Str
Page 258 and 259:
morning, and as dark images rustled
Page 260 and 261:
twenty rupees is only around a quar
Page 262 and 263:
and of course I found his examples
Page 264 and 265:
separated people. One survey found
Page 266 and 267:
marry live at home in hell.”The a
Page 268 and 269:
will also begin to disappear. On th
Page 270 and 271:
ased on that initial attraction is
Page 272 and 273:
the person in a cool state of mind
Page 274 and 275:
person is kind, nice, and gentle, a
Page 276 and 277:
intimacy. If that claim is honest,
Page 278 and 279:
RELATIONSHIPS BASED ONROMANCEIt fel
Page 280 and 281:
something that is based on fantasy,
Page 282 and 283:
the subjective experience of the in
Page 284 and 285:
love. According to this myth, the o
Page 286 and 287:
At birth, the brain is not yet full
Page 288 and 289:
I considered the problem of basing
Page 290 and 291:
out almost every night this week, a
Page 292 and 293:
things that I might want to look at
Page 294 and 295:
It seems clear that as a source of
Page 296 and 297:
a relationship, should we find ours
Page 298 and 299:
Chapter 7THE VALUE AND BENEFITS OFC
Page 300 and 301:
oughly defined in terms of a state
Page 302 and 303:
you may have a feeling of hatred. S
Page 304 and 305:
of generic compassion divorced from
Page 306 and 307:
its pain.”“Yes,” said the Dal
Page 308 and 309:
numb.“Now, in generating compassi
Page 310 and 311:
of Buddhism we find two principal t
Page 312 and 313:
feel particularly compassionate or
Page 314 and 315:
The Dalai Lama stopped speaking for
Page 316 and 317:
was OK, that there was no real requ
Page 318 and 319:
people, it is still possible to pre
Page 320 and 321:
sense of abandonment, so when you s
Page 322 and 323:
even turned on his most faithful st
Page 324 and 325:
his tea, even the contour of his sh
Page 326 and 327:
“But the main point really ... if
Page 328 and 329:
investigators found that doing regu
Page 330 and 331:
truth of this view. We can discover
Page 332 and 333:
than I’ve ever been in my life!
Page 334 and 335:
that you have a right to have happi
Page 336 and 337:
assembly that morning. I imagine th
Page 338 and 339:
Chapter 8FACING SUFFERINGIn the tim
Page 340 and 341:
The woman agreed and began goingfro
Page 342 and 343:
problems. Sometimes these defense m
Page 344 and 345:
focus on missing him right now; I h
Page 346 and 347:
The Dalai Lama detailed his approac
Page 348 and 349:
“But I think it’s still better
Page 350 and 351:
an amniocentesis or sonogram and fi
Page 352 and 353:
Shaking his head, he finally said,
Page 354 and 355:
speaking, for instance, you feel ha
Page 356 and 357:
in demonstration, ”is the very ba
Page 358 and 359:
The Dalai Lama quickly clarified,
Page 360 and 361:
craving and hatred, one can achieve
Page 362 and 363:
imagine that the death of your brot
Page 364 and 365:
about the issue of loss, to see if
Page 366 and 367:
passed away.“For example, in my o
Page 368 and 369:
Although pain and suffering are exp
Page 370 and 371:
has improved for many in Western so
Page 372 and 373:
Chapter 9SELF-CREATED SUFFERINGOn h
Page 374 and 375:
soothingly. “By the way, how long
Page 376 and 377:
those negative emotions that makes
Page 378 and 379:
your own personal creation. On the
Page 380 and 381:
waiter presented us with two free d
Page 382 and 383:
“BUT IT’S NOT FAIR!”In our da
Page 384 and 385:
on top of that having children with
Page 386 and 387:
process. This indicates that there
Page 388 and 389:
look at the problem with the attitu
Page 390 and 391:
of course, there are many other bad
Page 392 and 393:
lame everything on China. But there
Page 394 and 395:
words, I am not worthy of the perso
Page 396 and 397:
GUILTAs products of an imperfect wo
Page 398 and 399:
and came to me as a sort of formali
Page 400 and 401:
possibility of recognizing a bad si
Page 402 and 403:
RESISTING CHANGEGuilt arises when w
Page 404 and 405:
moment, no matter how pleasant or p
Page 406 and 407:
contemplation and understanding ofi
Page 408 and 409:
she cried frantically, “I think h
Page 410 and 411:
she sighed. “It seemed that gradu
Page 412 and 413:
must be over ; after all, there’s
Page 414 and 415:
emotional closeness can increase; a
Page 416 and 417:
crying “Leave me alone!” to his
Page 418 and 419:
transitional periods can become piv
Page 420 and 421:
seem to matter ; we’re really hap
Page 422 and 423:
everyone who insulted him. When thi
Page 424 and 425:
country. From that viewpoint, it is
Page 426 and 427:
view your situation from a differen
Page 428 and 429:
looked at me. I wondered if he sens
Page 430 and 431:
continue to perceive them as 100 pe
Page 432 and 433:
Inspired by the Dalai Lama’s word
Page 434 and 435:
wretched than that? Carrying around
Page 436 and 437:
egins to flow naturally.“So, for
Page 438 and 439:
opportunity provided by your enemy.
Page 440 and 441:
ultimately results in our strength.
Page 442 and 443:
veal. It’s the very struggle of l
Page 444 and 445:
may I think myself the lowest among
Page 446 and 447:
then said, “There may be somethin
Page 448 and 449:
only. Often they involved the attem
Page 450 and 451:
conversation.
Page 452 and 453:
man of generous proportions who had
Page 454 and 455:
myself to remaining irritable for t
Page 456 and 457:
A SUPPLY MINDThe ability to shift p
Page 458 and 459:
suppleness of mind. It comes about,
Page 460 and 461:
“When you speak of adopting a wid
Page 462 and 463:
cultivation of patience and toleran
Page 464 and 465:
THE IMPORTANCE OF FLEXIBLETHINKINGT
Page 466 and 467:
As I got to know the Dalai Lama, I
Page 468 and 469:
flexible, malleable, and adaptable,
Page 470 and 471:
FINDING BALANCEDeveloping a flexibl
Page 472 and 473:
of mind, bringing you more down to
Page 474 and 475:
has got to be a balance....”After
Page 476 and 477:
surface, it can in fact be harmful.
Page 478 and 479:
think in many ways narrow-minded at
Page 480 and 481:
Chapter 11FINDING MEANING IN PAIN A
Page 482 and 483:
periods of acute crisis and tragedy
Page 484 and 485:
e painful, but like the pain a woma
Page 486 and 487:
and the Renaissance. In Switzerland
Page 488 and 489:
much better now and we’re going t
Page 490 and 491:
opportunity by thinking, ‘May my
Page 492 and 493:
additional psychological pain, suff
Page 494 and 495:
engaging in the wholesome actions a
Page 496 and 497:
DEALING WITH PHYSICAL PAINBy reflec
Page 498 and 499: causing the rotting of the flesh, b
Page 500 and 501: In the same way that finding meanin
Page 502 and 503: in intense suffering to the pianist
Page 504 and 505: eward. Researcher Ronald Melzak too
Page 506 and 507: describes many reports of leprosy p
Page 508 and 509: desert temperatures outside, were u
Page 510 and 511: clearly in your mind. Then, on the
Page 512 and 513: or her own to be able to relieve hi
Page 514 and 515: powerful if you combine the‘givin
Page 516 and 517: Lama, perhaps not wanting to come a
Page 518 and 519: Part IVOVERCOMING OBSTACLES
Page 520 and 521: THE PROCESS OF CHANGEWe’ve discus
Page 522 and 523: smoking, first you have to be aware
Page 524 and 525: there is no feeling of tiredness or
Page 526 and 527: Dalai Lama answered. “In order to
Page 528 and 529: opposite purpose—‘Oh, there is
Page 530 and 531: once again I think the most effecti
Page 532 and 533: a set routine and you don’t need
Page 534 and 535: short period, say two years, there
Page 536 and 537: or active involvement. Of course, i
Page 538 and 539: happiness is widely overlooked. Yet
Page 540 and 541: esearched the mechanisms that initi
Page 542 and 543: it is in fact the cornerstone of co
Page 544 and 545: important implications in the Dalai
Page 546 and 547: mind tempered by years of experienc
Page 550 and 551: our mind. They feel that since thes
Page 552 and 553: practice designed to enhance altrui
Page 554 and 555: one’s own personal identity. Let
Page 556 and 557: what are called Nyon Mong in Tibeta
Page 558 and 559: these positive factors are grounded
Page 560 and 561: certain things that we require, cer
Page 562 and 563: things.“When talking about elimin
Page 564 and 565: Concluding his discussion about the
Page 566 and 567: egins to take steps in that directi
Page 568 and 569: who you feel may have achieved thes
Page 570 and 571: to-day experiences (including dream
Page 572 and 573: must be loved and approved of by al
Page 574 and 575: emotions and counteract negative th
Page 576 and 577: an arrow, one doesnot spend time wo
Page 578 and 579: Robert Sapolsky at Stanford Univers
Page 580 and 581: however, the patient reported, “W
Page 582 and 583: individual to act quickly and decis
Page 584 and 585: “It is with this in mind that we
Page 586 and 587: pretend or adopt a dignified pose,
Page 588 and 589: psychotherapy, which encourage expr
Page 590 and 591: anger from arising in the first pla
Page 592 and 593: you are still subject to the destru
Page 594 and 595: eleased. The idea of getting rid of
Page 596 and 597: lower or moderate levels of anger,
Page 598 and 599:
putting up with small problems or h
Page 600 and 601:
world peace—that certainly can be
Page 602 and 603:
can take a strong stand and even ta
Page 604 and 605:
analyze the situation, you’ll rea
Page 606 and 607:
Meditation on Anger: Exercise 1“L
Page 608 and 609:
appearance,’ and so on. So once y
Page 610 and 611:
for yourself ; investigate. So for
Page 612 and 613:
Chapter 14DEALING WITH ANXIETY ANDB
Page 614 and 615:
However, feelings of fear and anxie
Page 616 and 617:
need pharmacological intervention.
Page 618 and 619:
and began, reverting to my intermit
Page 620 and 621:
our own mental creations. These fea
Page 622 and 623:
a way out of the difficulty, then o
Page 624 and 625:
of anxiety. For example, one type o
Page 626 and 627:
eflect. At last he said, “I think
Page 628 and 629:
have failed to make much progress i
Page 630 and 631:
one of compassion, even if I made a
Page 632 and 633:
applying a counteractive thought: r
Page 634 and 635:
mind and achieving happiness, the c
Page 636 and 637:
who works at a department store in
Page 638 and 639:
HONESTY AS AN ANTIDOTE TOLOW SELF-E
Page 640 and 641:
theorists have related both low and
Page 642 and 643:
In recent decades, the nature of
Page 644 and 645:
negative way. It is based on sound
Page 646 and 647:
“That’s right, that’s right,
Page 648 and 649:
Besides contemplating one’s suffe
Page 650 and 651:
“Here, I think you have to keep i
Page 652 and 653:
confident and there’s no sense of
Page 654 and 655:
laughing, saying:“I’m confused!
Page 656 and 657:
our interview, the Dalai Lama asked
Page 658 and 659:
ways that self-hatred can be cultur
Page 660 and 661:
ased on experimental evidence, howe
Page 662 and 663:
there may be a penetrating truth to
Page 664 and 665:
On a subsequent visit to Dharamsala
Page 666 and 667:
to such people is that we are gifte
Page 668 and 669:
some sense we have this underlying
Page 670 and 671:
Chapter 15BASIC SPIRITUAL VALUESTh
Page 672 and 673:
course of our conversations, in fac
Page 674 and 675:
mental dispositions. So, the variet
Page 676 and 677:
One reason to respect these other t
Page 678 and 679:
humanity and find useful aspects of
Page 680 and 681:
Lama’s daily spiritual practice.
Page 682 and 683:
least, I think daily, say a half an
Page 684 and 685:
meditator who has a certain degree
Page 686 and 687:
were inconceivably intricate and el
Page 688 and 689:
even if a person committed atrociti
Page 690 and 691:
and severe beatings, he was able to
Page 692 and 693:
extremists. Until 1991 he was impri
Page 694 and 695:
lower death rates, and improved hea
Page 696 and 697:
Although some of the rewards of fai
Page 698 and 699:
such as the Dalai Lama to try to di
Page 700 and 701:
society will be more troubled. So,
Page 702 and 703:
For those people, I think we can ed
Page 704 and 705:
The Dalai Lama was due to attend a
Page 706 and 707:
to the Dalai Lama, who spoke a few
Page 708 and 709:
thoughts, observe the underlying na
Page 710 and 711:
meditative practices, these definit
Page 712 and 713:
mind inward; don’t let it chase a
Page 714 and 715:
external objects ; we tend to look
Page 716 and 717:
way through the surrounding crowd.
Page 718 and 719:
To Dr. Thupten Jinpa for his friend
Page 720 and 721:
voluminous material and focusing an
Page 722 and 723:
THE ART OF HAPPINESS BOOKSERIESThe
Page 724 and 725:
Handbook for Living in 1998, there
Page 726 and 727:
India. His tireless efforts on beha
Page 728 and 729:
1The term Dharma has many connotati
Page 730 and 731:
achieves a state of Liberation.5The
show all

The Art of Happiness

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?