The Art of Happiness

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PUBLICATIONI vividly recall the meeting when I first proposedthe idea of the book to the Dalai Lama. I wasfeeling far from confident. Over the years I hadnoted his skill at deflecting such proposals—so,fully expecting that he would turn down myrequest, I had come prepared, ready to argue mycase.“Your Holiness, I know that you have alreadywritten two dozen books,” I began, “but thisbook will be quite different. The objective is todistill the essential principles that you live by,which have enabled you to achieve a happy life.And even though these underlying principles maybe based on Buddhism, I hope to present yourbeliefs in a way that can be applied by individuals
from any background or tradition, showing howto apply these principles in their daily lives tocultivate greater happiness....”“Ah, very good!” he said with enthusiasm.“And then from my perspective as apsychiatrist,” I continued, “I’d like to examineyour views on happiness, on what makes lifeworthwhile, within the context of Westernpsychology, even looking for scientific evidencethat might support your views.”“Yes. Okay!” the Dalai Lama said decisively,nodding his head in agreement to my proposal.Without taking a breath, I pressed on, drivenby my preconceived belief that he would notreadily agree. My mind was so focused onconvincing him, so intent on dazzling him with myarguments, that I had no attention left over toactually attend to what he was saying or to
Page 4 and 5: Table of ContentsTitle PageCopyrigh
Page 6 and 7: Chapter 8 - FACING SUFFERINGChapter
Page 10 and 11: RIVERHEAD BOOKSPublished by the Pen
Page 12 and 13: simultaneously in CanadaThe excerpt
Page 14 and 15: Dedicated to the Reader:May you fin
Page 16 and 17: of the book. Those who have read th
Page 18 and 19: as a growing body of scientific evi
Page 20 and 21: with respect to one’s own mental
Page 22 and 23: disposal of each of us. Given these
Page 24 and 25: new book so that others can share i
Page 26 and 27: THE BEGINNINGA full decade has now
Page 28 and 29: esult of the brutal invasion of Tib
Page 32 and 33: egister his response.Looking a bit
Page 34 and 35: only minutes for the Dalai Lama to
Page 36 and 37: ooks by the Dalai Lama held no appe
Page 38 and 39: UNEXPECTED SUCCESSThat was ten year
Page 40 and 41: conditions of our lives finally fal
Page 42 and 43: popular subjects for research. Alth
Page 44 and 45: Seligman teamed up with another bri
Page 46 and 47: THE BENEFITS OF HAPPINESSOne of the
Page 48 and 49: directly related to one’s level o
Page 50 and 51: more systematic and direct way. The
Page 52 and 53: happiness that combines the best of
Page 54 and 55: disciples not to blindly accept his
Page 56 and 57: consistently supported the views ex
Page 58 and 59: KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ANDTHE PURSUI
Page 60 and 61: compassion makes people happier—o
Page 62 and 63: THE FUTURE OF THE ART OFHAPPINESSFo
Page 64 and 65: hatred, poverty—the list is long.
Page 66 and 67: AUTHOR’S NOTEIn this book, extens
Page 68 and 69: inadvertent distortions of the Dala
Page 70 and 71: throng of local reporters, photogra
Page 72 and 73: can leave the differences aside, I
Page 74 and 75: penetrating intelligence, but witho
Page 76 and 77: long pause and reflection, he simpl
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across human behaviors that on the
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with: for instance, it does not acc
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hope is based on the belief that wh
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times chosen to omit portions of th
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Chapter 1THE RIGHT TO HAPPINESSI be
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goal. As a psychiatrist, however, I
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meaning, closer to’psyche’ or
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with a look of excitement and pleas
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unhappy people who tend to be most
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lives. Suppose, for instance, we’
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Chapter 2THE SOURCES OF HAPPINESSTw
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friend of the same age who found ou
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everyday life ; a pay raise, a new
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happiness—and the verdict is stil
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to be dissatisfied with our income
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at Buffalo, subjects were asked to
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we need a circle of friends with wh
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joy or fulfillment that you are see
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INNER CONTENTMENTCrossing the hotel
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one’s essential needs of food, cl
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gives you a immediate feeling of sa
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So, how can we achieve inner conten
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innocent passing remark such as,
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have been very difficult. While I w
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person will suffer because there is
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speaking to an Indian audience at R
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had visited that town many times an
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Everyday we are faced with numerous
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or twentieth-century scientists to
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defined by the Dalai Lama, that is
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THE PATH TO HAPPINESSIn identifying
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very bad and harmful to one persona
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important.“Now, we have spoken of
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might have a better definition of a
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MENTAL DISCIPLINEAs he spoke, I fou
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ody ; you need a variety of vitamin
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Buddhist practices are very helpful
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effect on the deeper mind. No hatre
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allowing electrical signals to trav
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ETHICAL DISCIPLINEIn a later discus
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true happiness, spiritual growth, a
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we consider education as a very imp
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learning and understanding, can hav
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understand that there are many diff
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crucial.”Sensing, I suppose, my c
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Chapter 4RECLAIMING OUR INNATESTATE
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fundamental nature of all sentient
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attitudes automatically and natural
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they arise when we are frustrated i
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econciliation that can be used to o
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the mid-1700s David Hume wrote a lo
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inclination to aggression is an ori
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people or violent, aggressive peopl
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themselves using the pronouns “I,
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his behavior on others.Revising our
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An infant is also biologically prog
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MEDITATION ON THE PURPOSEOF LIFEAs
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course of study to become a lawyer,
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at this time we will be here. But s
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Chapter 5A NEW MODEL FOR INTIMACY
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searching, desperately hoping to co
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“My basic belief is that you firs
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wrong; it leads to problems and can
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Because of the widespread occurrenc
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DEPENDENCE ON OTHERSVERSUS SELF-REL
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On that basis, the Dalai Lama point
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into being as a result of the effor
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the farmer the tractor to plow the
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INTIMACYOur need for other people i
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elationship ...”“Yes, I believe
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“So, when I was in Tibet or since
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laughed once again. ”But personal
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physical and psychological well-bei
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separated from other humans. He bel
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humans come into physical contact w
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also vary throughout the world and
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would validate the marriage.How peo
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particularly true when we go throug
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connection with others as possible.
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attendant discreetly glided into th
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ESTABLISHING EMPATHYWhile we had sp
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Similarly here, in order to be skil
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utcher. And then try to imagine the
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that generally speaking, when deali
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answered, “Whenever I meet people
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are dealing with. Also, being more
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made an attempt to connect with him
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ackground information that my frien
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urban predator dedicated to the Str
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morning, and as dark images rustled
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twenty rupees is only around a quar
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and of course I found his examples
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separated people. One survey found
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marry live at home in hell.”The a
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will also begin to disappear. On th
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ased on that initial attraction is
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the person in a cool state of mind
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person is kind, nice, and gentle, a
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intimacy. If that claim is honest,
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RELATIONSHIPS BASED ONROMANCEIt fel
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something that is based on fantasy,
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the subjective experience of the in
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love. According to this myth, the o
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At birth, the brain is not yet full
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I considered the problem of basing
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out almost every night this week, a
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things that I might want to look at
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It seems clear that as a source of
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a relationship, should we find ours
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Chapter 7THE VALUE AND BENEFITS OFC
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oughly defined in terms of a state
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you may have a feeling of hatred. S
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of generic compassion divorced from
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its pain.”“Yes,” said the Dal
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numb.“Now, in generating compassi
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of Buddhism we find two principal t
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feel particularly compassionate or
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The Dalai Lama stopped speaking for
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was OK, that there was no real requ
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people, it is still possible to pre
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sense of abandonment, so when you s
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even turned on his most faithful st
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his tea, even the contour of his sh
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“But the main point really ... if
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investigators found that doing regu
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truth of this view. We can discover
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than I’ve ever been in my life!
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that you have a right to have happi
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assembly that morning. I imagine th
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Chapter 8FACING SUFFERINGIn the tim
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The woman agreed and began goingfro
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problems. Sometimes these defense m
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focus on missing him right now; I h
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The Dalai Lama detailed his approac
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“But I think it’s still better
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an amniocentesis or sonogram and fi
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Shaking his head, he finally said,
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speaking, for instance, you feel ha
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in demonstration, ”is the very ba
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The Dalai Lama quickly clarified,
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craving and hatred, one can achieve
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imagine that the death of your brot
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about the issue of loss, to see if
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passed away.“For example, in my o
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Although pain and suffering are exp
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has improved for many in Western so
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Chapter 9SELF-CREATED SUFFERINGOn h
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soothingly. “By the way, how long
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those negative emotions that makes
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your own personal creation. On the
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waiter presented us with two free d
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“BUT IT’S NOT FAIR!”In our da
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on top of that having children with
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process. This indicates that there
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look at the problem with the attitu
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of course, there are many other bad
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lame everything on China. But there
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words, I am not worthy of the perso
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GUILTAs products of an imperfect wo
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and came to me as a sort of formali
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possibility of recognizing a bad si
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RESISTING CHANGEGuilt arises when w
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moment, no matter how pleasant or p
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contemplation and understanding ofi
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she cried frantically, “I think h
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she sighed. “It seemed that gradu
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must be over ; after all, there’s
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emotional closeness can increase; a
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crying “Leave me alone!” to his
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transitional periods can become piv
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seem to matter ; we’re really hap
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everyone who insulted him. When thi
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country. From that viewpoint, it is
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view your situation from a differen
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looked at me. I wondered if he sens
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continue to perceive them as 100 pe
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Inspired by the Dalai Lama’s word
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wretched than that? Carrying around
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egins to flow naturally.“So, for
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opportunity provided by your enemy.
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ultimately results in our strength.
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veal. It’s the very struggle of l
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may I think myself the lowest among
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then said, “There may be somethin
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only. Often they involved the attem
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conversation.
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man of generous proportions who had
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myself to remaining irritable for t
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A SUPPLY MINDThe ability to shift p
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suppleness of mind. It comes about,
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“When you speak of adopting a wid
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cultivation of patience and toleran
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THE IMPORTANCE OF FLEXIBLETHINKINGT
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As I got to know the Dalai Lama, I
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flexible, malleable, and adaptable,
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FINDING BALANCEDeveloping a flexibl
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of mind, bringing you more down to
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has got to be a balance....”After
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surface, it can in fact be harmful.
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think in many ways narrow-minded at
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Chapter 11FINDING MEANING IN PAIN A
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periods of acute crisis and tragedy
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e painful, but like the pain a woma
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and the Renaissance. In Switzerland
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much better now and we’re going t
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opportunity by thinking, ‘May my
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additional psychological pain, suff
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engaging in the wholesome actions a
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DEALING WITH PHYSICAL PAINBy reflec
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causing the rotting of the flesh, b
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In the same way that finding meanin
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in intense suffering to the pianist
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eward. Researcher Ronald Melzak too
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describes many reports of leprosy p
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desert temperatures outside, were u
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clearly in your mind. Then, on the
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or her own to be able to relieve hi
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powerful if you combine the‘givin
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Lama, perhaps not wanting to come a
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Part IVOVERCOMING OBSTACLES
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THE PROCESS OF CHANGEWe’ve discus
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smoking, first you have to be aware
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there is no feeling of tiredness or
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Dalai Lama answered. “In order to
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opposite purpose—‘Oh, there is
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once again I think the most effecti
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a set routine and you don’t need
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short period, say two years, there
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or active involvement. Of course, i
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happiness is widely overlooked. Yet
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esearched the mechanisms that initi
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it is in fact the cornerstone of co
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important implications in the Dalai
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mind tempered by years of experienc
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‘I’m just going to focus on the
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our mind. They feel that since thes
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practice designed to enhance altrui
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one’s own personal identity. Let
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what are called Nyon Mong in Tibeta
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these positive factors are grounded
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certain things that we require, cer
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things.“When talking about elimin
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Concluding his discussion about the
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egins to take steps in that directi
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who you feel may have achieved thes
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to-day experiences (including dream
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must be loved and approved of by al
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emotions and counteract negative th
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an arrow, one doesnot spend time wo
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Robert Sapolsky at Stanford Univers
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however, the patient reported, “W
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individual to act quickly and decis
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“It is with this in mind that we
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pretend or adopt a dignified pose,
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psychotherapy, which encourage expr
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anger from arising in the first pla
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you are still subject to the destru
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eleased. The idea of getting rid of
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lower or moderate levels of anger,
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putting up with small problems or h
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world peace—that certainly can be
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can take a strong stand and even ta
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analyze the situation, you’ll rea
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Meditation on Anger: Exercise 1“L
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appearance,’ and so on. So once y
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for yourself ; investigate. So for
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Chapter 14DEALING WITH ANXIETY ANDB
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However, feelings of fear and anxie
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need pharmacological intervention.
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and began, reverting to my intermit
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our own mental creations. These fea
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a way out of the difficulty, then o
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of anxiety. For example, one type o
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eflect. At last he said, “I think
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have failed to make much progress i
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one of compassion, even if I made a
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applying a counteractive thought: r
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mind and achieving happiness, the c
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who works at a department store in
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HONESTY AS AN ANTIDOTE TOLOW SELF-E
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theorists have related both low and
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In recent decades, the nature of
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negative way. It is based on sound
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“That’s right, that’s right,
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Besides contemplating one’s suffe
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“Here, I think you have to keep i
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confident and there’s no sense of
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laughing, saying:“I’m confused!
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our interview, the Dalai Lama asked
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ways that self-hatred can be cultur
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ased on experimental evidence, howe
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there may be a penetrating truth to
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On a subsequent visit to Dharamsala
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to such people is that we are gifte
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some sense we have this underlying
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Chapter 15BASIC SPIRITUAL VALUESTh
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course of our conversations, in fac
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mental dispositions. So, the variet
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One reason to respect these other t
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humanity and find useful aspects of
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Lama’s daily spiritual practice.
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least, I think daily, say a half an
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meditator who has a certain degree
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were inconceivably intricate and el
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even if a person committed atrociti
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and severe beatings, he was able to
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extremists. Until 1991 he was impri
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lower death rates, and improved hea
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Although some of the rewards of fai
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such as the Dalai Lama to try to di
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society will be more troubled. So,
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For those people, I think we can ed
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The Dalai Lama was due to attend a
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to the Dalai Lama, who spoke a few
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thoughts, observe the underlying na
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meditative practices, these definit
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mind inward; don’t let it chase a
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external objects ; we tend to look
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way through the surrounding crowd.
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To Dr. Thupten Jinpa for his friend
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voluminous material and focusing an
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THE ART OF HAPPINESS BOOKSERIESThe
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Handbook for Living in 1998, there
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India. His tireless efforts on beha
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1The term Dharma has many connotati
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achieves a state of Liberation.5The
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