Bunuel_Luis_My_Last_Breath

Such excessive accusations may seem laughable today, but at thetime it was a truly dramatic dilemma. In fact, it was my first realmoral problem. Once back in my room, unable to sleep, I told myselfthat I was free to do what I liked. They had no right to try to controlme. I could throw my scenario in their faces and walk out; nothingwas forcing me to do what they wanted. They were no better thanI, and yet, at the same time, I felt another force which argued thatthey were right. You may think that your conscience is your onlyjudge, but you're mistaken. You love these men; you trust them.They've accepted you as one of them. You aren't free, no matterwhat you say. Your freedom is only a phantom that travels the worldin a cloak of fog. You try to grab hold of it, but it will always slipaway. All you'll have left is a dampness on your fingers.This inner conflict tormented me for a long time. Even now,when I ask myself what surrealism really was, I still answer that itwas a revolutionary, poetic, and moral movement.In the end, I asked my surrealist friends what they thought Ishould do. Get Monsieur Gallimard to agree not to publish it, theysaid. But how could I get in to see Gallimard? How could I convincehim? I didn't even know the address of the publishing house!"Eluard will go with you," Breton told me.And so one day, Paul Eluard and I found ourselves in Gallimard'soffice. I told him that I'd changed my mind, that I didn't want myscript to appear in La Revue d. Cznk. In no uncertain terms, hereplied that changing my mind was out of the question, that I'dgiven my word, and that, in any case, the printer had already settype.When I returned to the group and gave my full report, theconsensus was that I get a hammer, go back to Gallimard, and smashthe type. And so once again, accompanied by Eluard, I went toGallimard, this time carrying an enormous hammer hidden undermy raincoat. Now, however, it really was too late; the issue had beenprinted and the first copies distributed.When all was said and done, it was decided that Varietes wouldalso publish the screenplay, and that I would send a letter to sixteen