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Aerie InternationaL - Missoula County Public Schools

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<strong>Aerie</strong> <strong>InternationaL</strong><br />

Volume 2 2009


<strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

a literary arts magazine edited<br />

by young writers and artists<br />

for young writers and artists


aer♦ie(âr’ē) noun, 1. The<br />

lofty nest of an eagle or other<br />

predatory bird, built on a cliff<br />

ledge, mountaintop, or high in<br />

a dead snag. 2. An elevated,<br />

often secluded, dwelling,<br />

structure, or position. 3. A<br />

home for exceptional young<br />

writers and artists from around<br />

the globe, providing publishing<br />

opportunities, literary prizes,<br />

and cross-cultural connections.<br />

4. A place where the<br />

distinctions and connections<br />

of culture, language, peoples,<br />

and environment are nurtured.<br />

5. An innovative new journal<br />

edited and published by high<br />

school students for high school<br />

students.


AdvISory boArd<br />

eric abbot<br />

sandra alcosser<br />

coleman barks<br />

dana boussard<br />

david cates<br />

david james duncan<br />

contact us at aerieinternational@gmail.com<br />

www.aerieinternational.com<br />

We InvIte SubmISSIonS of<br />

innovative poetry<br />

short stories and flash fiction<br />

brief non-fiction<br />

lyrical essays<br />

short drama<br />

foreign language poetry and translations<br />

visual art and photography<br />

CongrAtulAtIonS 2009 AWArd WInnerS<br />

rIChArd hugo Poetry AWArd<br />

wynne hungerford, greenville, south carolina<br />

JAmeS WelCh fICtIon AWArd<br />

alexandria kim, allendale, new jersey<br />

normAn mACleAn nonfICtIon AWArd<br />

emma lucy bay pimentel, jacksonville, florida<br />

rudy AutIo vISuAl ArtS AWArd<br />

austin j. noll, lawrence, kansas<br />

lee nye PhotogrAPhy AWArd<br />

iida lehtinen, suavo, finland<br />

debra magpie earling<br />

carolyn forché<br />

tami haaland<br />

ilya kaminsky<br />

robert lee<br />

naomi shihab nye<br />

caroline patterson<br />

prageeta sharma<br />

m.l. smoker<br />

robert stubblefield<br />

renée taaffe<br />

r. david wilson


edItorIAl boArd 2009<br />

edItor<br />

katie degrandpre<br />

Poetry edItor<br />

kiley munsey<br />

ProSe edItor<br />

jenny godwin<br />

Art And PhotogrAPhy edItor<br />

hannah halland<br />

CorreSPondenCe edItor<br />

caitlyn brendal<br />

WebSIte edItor<br />

ryan casas<br />

hIStorIAn<br />

hanley caras<br />

mAnAgIng edItor<br />

alissa tucker<br />

ASSt. Poetry edItor<br />

dove ashby<br />

ASSt. ProSe edItor<br />

caitlyn brendal<br />

dIgItAl edItor<br />

lori krause<br />

SubSCrIPtIonS edItor<br />

dove Ashby<br />

ASSt. WebSIte edItor<br />

tessa nobles<br />

AdvISor<br />

lorilee evans-lynn<br />

<strong>Aerie</strong> International is published annually by the students of Big Sky High School in<br />

<strong>Missoula</strong>, Montana. Subscriptions are $12 to U.S. subscribers, $15 to friends outside<br />

the U.S. Sample copies are $5. Subscription forms can be found at the back of the<br />

magazine. Exchange subscriptions are encouraged. <strong>Aerie</strong> International is supported<br />

by Big Sky High School, private contributions, and sales of its magazine. <strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

accepts poetry, fiction, nonfiction, art and photography submissions from<br />

September 1st through February 1st. All work is submitted electronically. Potential<br />

contributors should send no more than five pieces. For full submissions guidelines<br />

and all other correspondence, visit our website or inquire through email.<br />

aerie.international@gmail.com<br />

www.aerieinternational.com<br />

© 2009 <strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

Rights revert to the author upon publication.<br />

Printed on recycled paper with recyclable ink at Gateway Printing


friends of<br />

<strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

the following individuals and organizations have made it<br />

possible for the <strong>Aerie</strong> literary magazines to continue and grow.<br />

Thank you!<br />

SPonSorS<br />

Anonymous Donors<br />

Paul Johnson, Big Sky High School<br />

Mike Peissig and Donna Elliott, Gateway Printing<br />

PAtronS<br />

Coffee Cart, Big Sky High School<br />

Dudley Dana, The Dana Gallery<br />

Gerald Fetz and Family John Lynn<br />

Scott and Mary Meacham, Montana Claims Service<br />

Laura Parvey-Connors, Loose Leash Marketing<br />

Renée Taaffe, <strong>Missoula</strong> Art Museum<br />

donorS<br />

Nancy Aitken-Nobles and Buddy Nobles<br />

Lela Autio Phillip and Melodee Belangie Judy Bullis<br />

Clayton Devoe, Hellgate Elks Lodge<br />

Dr. Brian Diggs J. Robert and Dorothy Evans<br />

Paul and Susan Fredericks, Mineral Logic<br />

Bridget Johnson and Henry Ward Nina Johnson<br />

Dr. Mary Kleschen and Thomas Michels Robert Lee<br />

Mike and Ann Munsey Dr. Charles and Kathy Swannack<br />

SuPPorterS<br />

Butterfly Herbs<br />

Dr. Ken Fremont-Smith and Dr. Barbara Wright<br />

Robin Hamilton and Peggy Patrick, The Shack<br />

Steve, Sue and Jim Ledger Candice Mancini<br />

Partners in Home Care Frank and Beverley Sherman<br />

Linda Rayfield Barbara Theroux, Fact and Fiction<br />

Byron Weber Hans and Barb Zuuring<br />

Thank you for your support!<br />

Sponsors $1,000 +<br />

Patrons $500-999<br />

Donors $100-499<br />

Supporters $50-99<br />

Parents, Past & Present: Priceless


Highest Award 2008 National Council of Teachers of English<br />

Program to Recognize Excellence in Student Literary Magazines<br />

Dear Reader,<br />

It seems we have tried to define our mission thousands of times. This<br />

magazine just doesn’t seem to fit in any one category.<br />

For me, <strong>Aerie</strong> International’s meaning changes on a day to day basis. Some<br />

days, it is an object floating up in the clouds somewhere. I know it’s<br />

important, but I can only catch glimpses of it. Some days it’s stacks of<br />

papers, overflowing filing cabinets, and massive digital files that are<br />

never quite organized. Everyday, however, when I walk in our classroom<br />

door, or open up our email, the world feels real again. I am reminded that<br />

there are other people, other lives, and other stories that exist outside<br />

my own immediate surroundings.<br />

I think the beauty of <strong>Aerie</strong> International as an organization with a mission<br />

and a literary magazine, is that it allows students around the world to<br />

share their experiences with others. That in itself is empowering in a<br />

world where it seems that no one is actually listening, despite the many<br />

new technologies which are supposed to help us communicate.<br />

If <strong>Aerie</strong> International were an annual summer camp, this year’s theme<br />

would be sharing stories. All we would ever do is sit around a campfire<br />

with hot chocolate and s’mores listening to each other’s thoughts,<br />

fictional and non-fictional. I believe my experience would be a great deal<br />

less had I never had the opportunity to hear the stories of people like<br />

Emma Pimentel, Romanius Eiman, Alexandria Kim and Jake Ross. Each<br />

submission I looked at and each bio I read made my world bigger as each<br />

person’s ideas, thoughts, and personalities came alive through his or her<br />

art. I feel truly privileged to have been able to work on this magazine.<br />

We have many hopes for the future. We hope to make <strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

sustainable when elective classes are too often on the chopping block.<br />

We are always looking for new awards and new ways to give a voice to<br />

more students around the world. We also hope to honor the writers and<br />

artists who have come before us. We have learned so much from writers<br />

and artists such as Richard Hugo, Rudy Autio, Norman Maclean, James<br />

Welch and Lee Nye.<br />

We have many people to thank for helping make our dreams with <strong>Aerie</strong><br />

International possible. The first is our international Advisory Board<br />

whom we were fortunate enough to meet with this year. They are our<br />

ultimate support group, inside the classroom and out, who prove to<br />

us that what we are doing is real and good. We so appreciate their


feedback and support. Thank you to our design and print gurus, Laura<br />

Parvey-Connors with Loose Leash Marketing as well as Donna Elliott<br />

and Mike Peissig of Gateway Printing. We learn something every time<br />

we meet and our magazine truly depends on you. Our teacher, Lorilee<br />

Evans-Lynn, and all teachers around the world deserve a standing<br />

ovation followed by a day of rest and ultimate pampering. It is teachers<br />

like these who inspire us to do more, to dream, and to achieve. Thank<br />

you to Dudley Dana and the Dana Gallery for hosting our ridiculously<br />

complicated fund raiser and our Advisory Board members for supporting<br />

us through your readings and your presence. Thank you to Chelsea<br />

Rayfield, who was not only a teacher, but a big sister and a friend to<br />

us. A final thank you to our wonderful parents and Cathy Marshall, our<br />

ultimate <strong>Aerie</strong> Mamma, who comes in and feeds our cranky souls early<br />

on Sunday mornings. All our parents deserve trophies and a multitude of<br />

thanks.<br />

Finally, thank you readers for supporting us, believing in us, and hearing<br />

the stories of all these outstanding people.<br />

Katie DeGrandpre, Editor


To the Reader:<br />

As we neared production of this, our 2 nd issue of <strong>Aerie</strong> International, I<br />

couldn’t help but reflect on our aspirations for this magazine. One was to<br />

establish a legitimate journal for young people, a journal of writing and art<br />

that young people could claim as their own. We wanted it be one of beauty.<br />

We hoped to make connections, not only for our editors and the people we<br />

were fortunate enough to encounter on and off these pages, but also to offer<br />

the means for young people far outside our sphere to meet. Having pen pals<br />

is great, but what if we could give young people the opportunity to share<br />

their art in their own magazine?<br />

It is a usual day for me to enter the classroom and find Katie, our 2009<br />

Editor, sitting cross-legged on a table, reading from a manuscript or waving<br />

one in front of my face (I mean that literally), usually accompanied with the<br />

command: “Lorilee, this is AMAZING. You HAVE to read it.”<br />

She is usually right.<br />

That’s how I first came to hear, “Worker Bee,” a story about what might<br />

be described as a very conventional narrator and his obsession with an<br />

equally unconventional young “antagonist.” Jake Ross manages to take<br />

on environmental issues, high school, middle America, and its fringes.<br />

His characters are whimsical and delicious and irreverent, at once both<br />

fantastical and oddly real.<br />

In her memoir, “Navy Blue,” Emma Pimmental speaks of visiting a<br />

hippotherapy farm in Sudan for children from underfunded hospitals. These<br />

children have been abandoned by war, disease and poverty that is nearly<br />

incomprehensible outside the developing world. Emma walked to Jane-<br />

Ann’s farm twice a week all summer in the Sudanese heat and dust to help.<br />

“I learned more about love and humankind that summer than I ever have<br />

before or since,” Emma writes.<br />

I don’t know that I could have picked two pieces from the magazine less<br />

alike. And yet they are about what the entirety of this journal, all of art,<br />

perhaps, is about—coming to the center of a thing and laying it bare, first<br />

to discover it for oneself, and then, if we are very lucky, to share it. This<br />

magazine is full of those kinds of moments, in image and in word.<br />

Many pieces poke fun at our cultures and who we are. Annie Chang<br />

writes about growing up Asian-American in central Oklahoma, “where just<br />

five minutes from my home are real cattle farms and horse ranches.” She<br />

says she likes to laugh at herself, and in so doing, gives all of us permission<br />

to laugh, not only at her, but at ourselves as well. Her story is part memoir,<br />

part fiction, about shopping trips to Wal-Mart where her mother insists,<br />

over her daughter’s protestations, to buy soymilk for the family “primarily<br />

because Oprah Winfrey tells her to.” Her story is hilarious, a convergence of<br />

cultures and coupons.<br />

Whether visual art, photography or writing, the pieces are about longing<br />

and love, about society, about what we accept and what we do not. In<br />

“Killing Beauty,” photographer Gabriella Otero formally poses two young<br />

girls in party dresses in a field. They are focused like manikins on an<br />

electrical power station in the distance, their backs to the viewer. Austin


Noll, whose self-portrait wraps the cover of the 2009 <strong>Aerie</strong> International, has<br />

superimposed newspaper articles and obituaries across his very elongated<br />

frame, a cut out cityscape in the background and what might be paper<br />

waves rolling in the space between the city and the figure. The visual artists<br />

and photographers are doing the same thing the writers are, discovering and<br />

sharing their images and comments on the world.<br />

I wrote an article earlier this year about the effect of publishing on<br />

student writing. I asked my own students for their thoughts. Katie brought<br />

home the public nature of art and what it does for all of us: “Getting<br />

published is one of the most empowering things in the world. We all write<br />

secretly in journals at night about our lives and what’s happening, but when<br />

that writing gets published, you just know that someone else out there<br />

understands and believes in what you are feeling or saying or thinking.”<br />

In retrospect, perhaps it is that notion more than any other this journal<br />

hopes to offer. A place where art can explore and affirm who we are and<br />

who we hope to be. When we have the opportunity to share those things,<br />

how can the world grow anything but a little closer?<br />

We have many people to thank, people who have transformed this effort<br />

into helping build a literary and art community among far ranging youth.<br />

First, thank you to everyone in my immediate radius who picks up the<br />

pieces tumbling from my hands as deadlines and fund raisers and readings<br />

approach—that includes my family and friends and my teaching partners,<br />

all of whom are exceedingly generous with their assistance and their<br />

indulgence. Thank you, too, to the families who support the giving of our<br />

awards—we are proud to continue a tradition of such remarkable writers<br />

and artists. We can only hope to pass on some of what they have offered<br />

us. Thank you to our Advisory Board, which convened at school this spring<br />

for our first formal Advisory Board meeting. For the <strong>Aerie</strong> students, these<br />

writers and artists are rock stars. Not only were our editors honored to<br />

be meeting, but the board was incredibly supportive of what the students<br />

have accomplished and equally ready with fantastic ideas for the future.<br />

Thank you as well to all who have supported us financially. The reality is<br />

that money makes it possible to do this sometimes overwhelming, always<br />

inspiring work. Finally, thank you to everyone who has submitted and<br />

everyone who subscribes to <strong>Aerie</strong> International. It is critical that we support<br />

what we believe in with our time and our money. Poetry and art are not<br />

inherently lucrative endeavors. They exist because we deem them essential<br />

and because we support them. Give subscriptions for <strong>Aerie</strong> International to<br />

your nephews and nieces and grandparents. Encourage your high school<br />

and local libraries to subscribe. Pass the word. We want <strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

not only to be about the students who are published, but about sharing the<br />

art and writing created by young people with as wide an audience as we can<br />

possibly reach. Help us make those connections.<br />

Thank you!<br />

Lorilee Evans-Lynn, Advisor


To the Reader,<br />

<strong>Aerie</strong> International is housed in <strong>Missoula</strong>’s Big Sky High School, across<br />

from and ironically contrasted to nearby Fort <strong>Missoula</strong> which served<br />

as a detention center for Italian nationals and Japanese-Americans held<br />

prisoner during World War II. <strong>Aerie</strong> International represents a peaceful<br />

and celebratory step in building relationships across international<br />

boundaries. It is visionary, communal, and brilliant.<br />

You should see the classroom where it happens. It’s a workroom with<br />

tables layered in images and writing that have come from the United<br />

States, England, Thailand, Turkmenistan, Russia, Japan, Namibia, and<br />

Finland. This is a place where students can sit together, seminar-style,<br />

to converse with each other, with board members, and supporters.<br />

Presiding over it all is their magical teacher, Lorilee Evans-Lynn, the<br />

originator of this vision, the elegant orchestrator, promoter, fund raiser,<br />

supporter, and the encouraging voice that allows <strong>Aerie</strong> International, and<br />

its sister journal, <strong>Aerie</strong> Big Sky, to move systematically from conception to<br />

print. It’s an honor to serve with the other advisory board members on<br />

this amazing journey that is <strong>Aerie</strong> International.<br />

Youth have frequently been leaders in peace efforts, and I believe <strong>Aerie</strong><br />

International contains elements important to a peaceful future. The<br />

editors have the good fortune of communicating with global youth,<br />

and the readers have the good fortune to encounter visual and written<br />

work from many continents. In each issue, <strong>Aerie</strong>’s expert editors conduct<br />

interviews with several contributors which give readers a glimpse of the<br />

many conversations going on behind the scenes.<br />

The work of <strong>Aerie</strong> International is created, selected and published by<br />

young people whose futures and whose memories will be inextricably<br />

tied to this experience. Rather than seeing themselves primarily as<br />

separate, they will be part of a cooperative whole, a group who has been<br />

able to communicate actively and effectively in spite of physical distance<br />

and in celebration of cultural diversity. .<br />

In January, I wrote a note to Lorilee about an Iranian friend whose<br />

husband had been arrested for his participation in human rights<br />

work. The story is similar to many other arrests in various regions,<br />

some well-publicized and many which are not. He was fortunate to be<br />

released after two months of detention, but not everyone is so lucky.<br />

In this context, where people can be arrested for their beliefs and<br />

where information can be easily manipulated and censored, journals<br />

like <strong>Aerie</strong> International are essential. It is my hope that <strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

will continue to be a fine example of cooperation, artistic vision, and<br />

inclusive thinking for years to come.<br />

Tami Haaland, poet and <strong>Aerie</strong> International Advisory Board member


sumi selvaraj lilburn, georgia, usa<br />

flight of the shadow | digital photography


tAble of ContentS<br />

Chemical Bonding<br />

myrah fisher<br />

Roses<br />

alexaundra swann<br />

A Watermelon Defeat<br />

jennie lee<br />

Home<br />

mercy ndambuki<br />

Kenophobia<br />

kathleen harm<br />

I Am a Street Kid<br />

romanius eiman<br />

For Five Hundred and Forty-Three Days<br />

jennifer giang<br />

Haiku<br />

yuka tsuruyama<br />

Fish-Fry<br />

taylor nicole marlow<br />

Psychology<br />

jonathan o’hair<br />

Worker Bee<br />

jake ross<br />

Interview<br />

jake ross<br />

Imitating Kerouac in the Summertime<br />

allison lazarus<br />

One Day in Future<br />

ayna kuliyeva<br />

The Army<br />

obaid syed<br />

Haida Statues<br />

marquette patterson<br />

Winter<br />

shapovalova victoria<br />

1<br />

2<br />

4<br />

6<br />

8<br />

10<br />

12<br />

16<br />

18<br />

20<br />

22<br />

30<br />

34<br />

36<br />

38<br />

43<br />

44


Coloring You<br />

michele corriston<br />

Fish<br />

alexandria kim<br />

How to Make Kimchi<br />

alexandria kim<br />

The Two Sides of a Name:<br />

Alexandria Song-Hwa Kim<br />

alexandria kim<br />

We Were so Wise<br />

jamie pisciotta<br />

Dubai<br />

nadia qari<br />

He Breaks Another Bottle, I Go For a Walk<br />

deborah gravina<br />

Echoes of Alexandria<br />

maria nelson<br />

Conversations About Love<br />

natasha joyce weidner<br />

Speech<br />

kelsie corriston<br />

Dressed in Navy Blue<br />

emma lucy bay pimentel<br />

Interview<br />

emma lucy bay pimentel<br />

Greenworld # 1<br />

daniel alexander gross<br />

An Immigrant’s Guide to Colorado<br />

melanie brown<br />

Caretaker<br />

wynne hungerford<br />

The Milkman<br />

annie chang<br />

Sky<br />

amelia parenteau<br />

Rudy Autio Visual Arts Award Winner<br />

Cover Art | Self Portrait by Austin J. Noll<br />

46<br />

50<br />

52<br />

53<br />

54<br />

56<br />

58<br />

60<br />

64<br />

68<br />

71<br />

75<br />

82<br />

84<br />

88<br />

90<br />

93


ChemICAl bondIng<br />

The luster of the elements<br />

Has made mountain ranges of your acids<br />

And exponents out of my wings.<br />

The scientific notation expands; the phoenix burns.<br />

I’m wandless and bare-brained<br />

And all operational thinkings have ceased.<br />

You, I can make no thesis,<br />

But your shimmer-swept eyes and<br />

Melting point blush are enough to form a hypothesis.<br />

Maybe we can experiment—you, my constant variable,<br />

And me, the dependent value.<br />

As different as the front and end of a chimera,<br />

But still undeniably one mythical beast.<br />

You’re pulling me into your orbit, an aesthetic satellite,<br />

And soon I’m circling you through light years and solar flares<br />

And you’re keeping me close, stopping me from soaring away.<br />

myrah fisher<br />

jacksonville, florida, usa<br />

But the dragon inside overwhelms,<br />

You eclipse me and I’m abandoned in the vacuum of imaginary numbers.<br />

1


alexaundra swann<br />

roswell, georgia, usa<br />

roSeS<br />

We were laughing.<br />

No one told a joke but<br />

we laughed even harder.<br />

We were kids<br />

barely in seventh grade<br />

taking a night stroll around<br />

the biggest lake I had<br />

ever seen.<br />

We passed<br />

a bright pink Spanish home<br />

we swore one day<br />

would be ours.<br />

We sat on the dock<br />

catching turtles,<br />

examining them<br />

and throwing them back in the water.<br />

We held hands<br />

and prayed that we<br />

would be together<br />

forever.<br />

We passed the home<br />

of an elderly couple<br />

who had a yard full of rose bushes.<br />

The man said, “Would you two like a flower?”<br />

and the hearts of two anxious girls<br />

could not turn him down.<br />

We tucked our roses<br />

behind our ears<br />

and we were happy.<br />

2


samuel j. willger<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

painted landscape | oil on canvas<br />

3


jennie lee<br />

norman, oklahoma, usa<br />

A WAtermelon defeAt<br />

The dress already lay out in front of the door that morning. I ate a<br />

Korean breakfast, complete with kimchi, rice, and tea, and sat quietly while<br />

Mommy fixed my hair into a ponytail and a bow. I must have been around<br />

four or five, and as I recall there were not many kids who looked like me.<br />

All the other children were pale and big-eyed. My parents worried about<br />

me because when I was younger I always used to follow this Chinese girl<br />

around in preschool. I didn’t know English and attempted to talk to her in<br />

a language foreign to her. I identified with her dark hair and small eyes, but<br />

that feeling was not returned; only now I know she dodged me and thought<br />

me strange. Even at a young age, I detected that I was different.<br />

Being accepted didn’t come to me as naturally as it did for most of my<br />

peers. This coupled with the fact that though I was born in the U.S., I had<br />

only learned Korean and couldn’t communicate well in English, which<br />

heightened my anxiety. I was unaware as to what I should expect in<br />

kindergarten but hand in hand with my mom, I timidly wandered in, my<br />

mother already having fussed over me as any typical parent would do on the<br />

first day for his or her offspring. Adorned in my watermelon dress I noticed<br />

my surroundings: the glaring fluorescent lights, impersonal white walls,<br />

the carpet with a unique, foul odor. The windows of the classrooms were<br />

decorated with tacky plastic things like smiling flowers in an attempt to<br />

seem welcoming. The truth was the school could swallow me whole, and<br />

me, I was helpless.<br />

Doubt hit me in waves and sudden thoughts rushed over me. What if<br />

nobody likes me? What if they think I’m weird? Would I play alone? Would<br />

I be left to try and push myself on the swing? I looked about, searching<br />

for a target; anything to hate to get my mind away from being at school.<br />

Violently, while hunting for the object of abomination, I located a victim:<br />

the red quarter-oval shape speckled with black dots on the neckline of my<br />

A-line dress, complete with thin green and white vertical stripes. Everything<br />

became clear to me; I knew instantly what I should do. I reminded myself<br />

that I had declared to my mother that morning, “The dress is ugly. I don’t<br />

want to wear it.” Her reply: “Look at it. It’s so cute – you’ll be the cutest in<br />

your class if you wear it. Remember, we were at Dillard’s and when I picked<br />

it out for you, you were so happy.”<br />

4


Then, I was content. But now – now things were different. People would<br />

judge me by that dress. I was wearing a watermelon! Mommy deserted<br />

me, leaving me with my teacher and a few boys and girls my age; we were<br />

the early ones. Nobody else was a fruit. I didn’t see any oranges or apples<br />

anywhere. As I defensively observed the environment, I wrung the melon in<br />

my fingers. I twisted it around my neck, wrinkled it underneath my palms<br />

and managed to mangle the stiff fabric momentarily: I did not want it to<br />

surface again. On my first day of school, it was my worst enemy. Though I<br />

saw a girl wearing a dress, it was nothing like mine. I observed the boys: one<br />

was wearing t-shirts and cargo shorts, and another wore jeans. Compared<br />

to the other children’s clothes, mine stuck out like a sore thumb. I did not<br />

even mind my dress if not for the crescent shape on the neckline, but that<br />

neckline was so undismissibly hideous. The watermelon was my problem,<br />

and if only I could hide it from everyone inside my fists, nobody would<br />

know. Nobody would know I was different. Nobody would criticize, “What<br />

is that little squinty-eyed girl wearing? Why does she have a plant around<br />

her neck? Why isn’t she wearing blue jeans like me?” With my little hand I<br />

frantically tried to scrunch my adversary up into something unrecognizable.<br />

Kids started pouring in, and again I didn’t see anybody who looked like me.<br />

When the teacher ordered my class to do activities, I had to admit defeat.<br />

With one last-ditch effort of squeezing my limbs a bit more, I finally opened<br />

my hands, palms up; I could no longer continue strangling my enemy. The<br />

little piece of cloth had beaten me, and dismayed, I participated in the<br />

games, the watermelon wrinkled but vivified again, taunting me out of the<br />

corner of my eyes at every second.<br />

I could not look anyone in the eye. Not only did I forfeit, but I was<br />

wearing a fruit. And not only was I wearing a fruit, but I was wearing<br />

a wrinkled, ugly fruit. The rest of the day commenced and I remained<br />

ill-at-ease and self-conscious.<br />

As I reminisce about that memorable day, I recognize I was too young<br />

to learn that lesson. I did not even know the source of my anxiety. As I<br />

matured, I realized it was not about the clothes I was wearing; it was about<br />

being comfortable in my skin – my skin that has a slight tint distinct from<br />

most.<br />

On one particular trip to the bank, I miraculously spotted a blonde girl<br />

wearing an almost exact replica of the watermelon dress. She donned it with<br />

such nonchalance it would have put my self-conscious, five-year-old self to<br />

shame. Her bearing convinced me to search for my old outfit in the corner of<br />

my closet shelf, and after I lay it on the floor neatly – much like my mom did<br />

for me my first day of kindergarten – I called out a realization to my mother,<br />

“Mom, you were right! I must’ve looked adorable that day.”<br />

5


mercy ndambuki<br />

norman, oklahoma, usa<br />

home<br />

The drops beat fiercely on the tilted window panes<br />

Ripping through the gutters of the roof<br />

They attack the red soil<br />

Soil that bears a few new huts.<br />

It has changed so much.<br />

The rumbling chatter bursts out of the thatched kitchen<br />

With delight, hiding the silence.<br />

Astonished I glide to the source<br />

And watch from a distance the unending folktelling<br />

All of them, grandma and her young granddaughters,<br />

Cornering the scorching flames<br />

With arms stretched out.<br />

6


mackenzie enich<br />

missoula, montana, usa<br />

market in arusha | digital photography<br />

7


kathleen harm<br />

ho-ho-kus, new jersey, usa<br />

KenoPhobIA<br />

My keraunograph records a thunderstorm today.<br />

A stranger walks in with his beat-up kennebecker on his back;<br />

a brown kausia on his head—<br />

he’s beautiful but when I hear his voice, there’s kalon.<br />

He prepares a thick kava from a Polynesian plant;<br />

I keck at the smell coming from the olive-green jug,<br />

but he becomes the kelpie and speaks to me softly,<br />

and suddenly, that scent from the kalpis seduces me.<br />

I take a sip and I’m in kef:<br />

the colors of the room swirl into kente—confusion; euphoria.<br />

But he drops the kedge and the ship rocks.<br />

I hear a clamor through the fabric;<br />

my head hurts from the katzenjammer.<br />

Around his thin waist is a keister;<br />

he takes out a screwdriver and opens my heart.<br />

I try to kep the blood;<br />

it flows until the organ is empty, and no keloid forms to cover the hole,<br />

but I have kenophobia, so only he can fill the void.<br />

Keraunograph: instrument for recording distant thunderstorms<br />

Kennebecker: knapsack<br />

Kausia: Macedonian felt hat with broad brim<br />

Kalon: beauty that is more than skin deep<br />

Kava: narcotic drink<br />

Keck: to retch; to feel disgust<br />

Kelpie: mischievous water spirit<br />

Kalpis: a water jar<br />

Kef: state of dreamy or drug-induced repose<br />

Kente: hand-woven African silk fabric<br />

Kedge: small anchor to keep a ship steady<br />

Katzenjammer: hangover; uproar; clamour<br />

Keister: burglar’s tool kit<br />

Kep: to catch an approaching object or falling liquid<br />

Keloid: hard scar tissue which grows over injured skin<br />

Kenophobia: fear of empty spaces<br />

8


austin j. noll<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

wrinkly face quartet | digital art<br />

9


eiman romanius<br />

southern africa, namibia, otjiwarongo<br />

Tita ge a!gan/gôa<br />

Ā, mû ta ge ra âitets tasa<br />

/Apoxawaba xu ta ra ‡û // aeb ai<br />

Sa ui-uisa aisa ti !oa<br />

Tsî t’ra // nâu sa uixaba<br />

Sa !oa ta ge / apob hîa / apoxawab !nâ ao‡gāhe hâb khemi ī.<br />

Xawets ‡an tare-i !aroma ta !gangu !nâ ra hâsa?<br />

Tare-i !aromab !ganna ti //khā//khā!nā-omsa?<br />

‡Âi!gâre!<br />

/Khowemâb ai ta ra ûi!kharu, aodo mâ!khaigu tawa !nari-aoga nape, audode//ā.<br />

/Gui// ae ta ge /on-e ūhâ i – ti ‡hunumasa.<br />

Nēsisa da ge tita tsî /hosan tsîda /gui /onsa ūhâ - !gan/gôan.<br />

Ti în tsî / aokhoen xa ta ge //orehe<br />

HIV/Aids xa ta de !guni/gôa tsî huisen//oase !hūbaib !nâ<br />

//nāxūhe.<br />

/Gâb, /khurub, dâu!khūdi, /û/khāhes !ganga !oa //garite.<br />

Ûib /ūsa ‡gās ai xūmâite.<br />

/Hōsana ta !gangu ai ūhâ.<br />

‡Gui xūna da ūhâ /goragu da rana:<br />

!Âs, !aob, hâ!khai-osiba,<br />

/Khai!nâ kartondi !nâ //omma.<br />

//Khore t’ran ge, /gamsa !anu kharob, /gamsa ‡û-i tsî ti ‡hunuma<br />

/ons /namma.<br />

//Khore ta ra in tita /kha âi, âi‡uis ose.<br />

Tari-e !ganga xu nî ū‡uite?<br />

‡Âis !nâ ūhâ re, //aris ‡gae‡gui-ao ta ge.<br />

//Îta, tita ûiba !ganga xu ge //khā//khāsenta.<br />

Tsî nēsi !gan‡an hâta.<br />

10


I Am A Street KId<br />

romanius eiman<br />

otjiwarongo, namibia, southern africa<br />

Yes, I have seen you laughing at me as I ate food from the dust bin.<br />

I have seen your look of disgust and even heard you say yuck.<br />

To you, I am like litter thrown in the dust bin.<br />

But have you thought about why I live on the streets?<br />

Why the street is my classroom?<br />

Think about it.<br />

I survive on begging, waving motorists into parking areas, washing cars.<br />

Once upon a time I had a name, my own one.<br />

Now me and my friends have the same name – street kids.<br />

I was abused by parents and relatives.<br />

HIV/Aids left me an orphan, defenseless against the world.<br />

Poverty, drought, floods, neglect, led me to the streets.<br />

Life has left me nowhere else to go.<br />

I have friends on the streets.<br />

We have lots of things we share:<br />

Hunger, fear, lack of shelter, sleeping in cardboard boxes.<br />

I long for a warm, clean bed, warm food, love of my own name.<br />

I long for you to laugh with me, not at me.<br />

But who will lift me off the streets?<br />

Remember, I am tomorrow’s leader.<br />

I, who have learned about life from the streets,<br />

And having become streetwise.<br />

My poem is written in English and Damara Nama, my mother tongue. Damara Nama<br />

(Khoisan group of languages, also used by the San Bushmen) is a very old language that<br />

involves clicking sounds and is only spoken in parts of southern Africa. In order to write<br />

it down, it involves four different symbols, one each for where the tongue is placed in the<br />

mouth in order to make the correct sound. - romanius<br />

11


jennifer giang<br />

lilburn, georgia, usa<br />

for fIve hundred And forty-three dAyS<br />

I. Photograph<br />

I don’t wait for Mom to stop the engine, just open the door and run<br />

outside, not even bothering to slip on my sandals. The grass is rough against<br />

my feet, and I probably just stepped on an ant pile, but I don’t care. All I<br />

care about is the heat, and smell, and feel of the June sun burning through<br />

my shirt, melting me with its buttery rays. Everything looks the same. The<br />

rusty makeshift watering can is still propped up by the dead stump, and the<br />

wild shrubs are still spreading their arms out, greedily taking in the dusty<br />

concrete.<br />

I nearly trip on the pile of shoes that booby trap the entry as I follow<br />

Jane, my sister, through the doorway. Aunts and uncles crowd around us,<br />

and we grimace as Mom prods us towards them. The ritual begins: an holá,<br />

cómo estás, quick hug, air kiss on both cheeks. We get to my abuelita—<br />

my grandma—and she smiles and envelopes<br />

me awkwardly with her left arm. “Mira qué<br />

hermosas están poniendo.” Look at how pretty you<br />

all are becoming. I kiss her, wishing I could say<br />

something, but the Spanish limits me to this<br />

small greeting.<br />

Soon, everyone begins shuffling towards the kitchen, grabbing plates and<br />

plunking down food onto their dishes. The smell of piquant enchiladas is<br />

just beginning to tickle my nose when Mom calls at me to come eat. I grab<br />

a platter and stand in the corner next to the air vent so the cool air can slap<br />

my legs.<br />

My abuelita laughs from across the room, and her gold tooth glints under<br />

the harsh glare of the light bulb. She reaches over to eat but as she begins to<br />

pick up her fork, her smile fades. The fork doesn’t want to come up and lays<br />

there, stagnant on the table, as if that piece of Dixie plastic were the weight<br />

of a whole sea. Her gold tooth disappears behind her lips now, and she grabs<br />

the fork with her left hand instead. No one notices.<br />

I watch her from my corner, and get dizzy, as if something was pulling me<br />

out of the scene and framing my abuelita’s crippled right hand into a distant<br />

snapshot.<br />

12<br />

The ritual begins:<br />

an holá, cómo estás,<br />

quick hug, air kiss on<br />

both cheeks.


II. Spying<br />

Mom calls it “showing houses.” She drives around for hours, opening lock<br />

boxes and showing people their future homes. She likes having us kids in<br />

tow: Catalina squawking in the baby seat, me and Jane breaking the law by<br />

sitting on the floor near the back. That annoying T-Mobile ringtone sounds<br />

again—probably the tenth time in the last twenty minutes—and she juggles<br />

the clamshell phone between her ear and shoulder, while she pulls up into a<br />

cul-de-sac. She talks—whispers— to an unknown face for fifteen minutes.<br />

The three letter acronym<br />

stands for sitting in an<br />

ugly blue sofa-chair for<br />

one year with nothing<br />

to do but memorize the<br />

shapes of the blemishes on<br />

the wall.<br />

Jane pokes at me to watch a baby getting<br />

burped by her dad in a driveway.<br />

The cell finally snaps shut, and I hear<br />

Mom tossing it to the passenger’s side.<br />

She’s upset, and the phone falls to the<br />

ground. I peek at her through the gap<br />

between the car seats. Her head is resting<br />

on the wheel, nestled in her forearms.<br />

“Abuelita has ALS,” she murmurs into the<br />

leather. Jane and I glance at each other.<br />

ALS. What is that? We wonder what could be giving her a headache. And<br />

making her cry. I see her trembling through my peephole.<br />

III. One Year in a Blue Seat<br />

It takes me a year, but I finally figure out the meaning of ALS. It means<br />

falling straight backwards onto the garage floor and getting stuck in a<br />

wheelchair. It means rolling to a million doctors and losing all sense of<br />

privacy. It means getting hand fed oatmeal for every meal, then switching<br />

over to a stomach tube. It means breaking out into raw red sores. But worst<br />

of all, the three letter acronym stands for sitting in an ugly blue sofa-chair<br />

for one year with nothing to do but memorize the shapes of the blemishes<br />

on the wall. At least, this is what it means to my abuelita.<br />

IV. A Routine<br />

We go to Abuelita’s house almost every day: after school, on the<br />

weekends, always during the holidays. Only the ritual’s changed now.<br />

When we arrive, there are no lively greetings, just a quick hello then off<br />

to work. Before I see my abuelita for the first time, I’m not sure what to<br />

do. Wave? Give her a kiss? A hug? I awkwardly make my way past the<br />

hospital-like-bed and grey portable potty to her chair. She doesn’t look at<br />

me—she can’t, so I stand off to the side and try to smile. Mom’s already<br />

sitting next to her, rubbing her back and hands to make the blood flow. I<br />

feel guilty for holding back a gag, but the room smells like a disinfectant<br />

someone scrubbed a million times to get rid of the smell of chilies. There’s<br />

13


something strong that makes me want to sneeze, too. Probably some<br />

medicine. Mom glances at me and nods her head, so I grab Jane’s hand and<br />

try to situate myself on the large armrest. As I reach down to hug Abuelita,<br />

she starts as if she were going to talk. But I know she won’t, so I burrow my<br />

head into her braid and whisper.<br />

Afterwards, I back away towards the kitchen, the perfect view, and<br />

pretend I’m minding Catalina playing with our cousin on the floor. Mom’s<br />

giving Abuelita a rinse now. She dips the<br />

rough washcloth into a bowl of hot water<br />

and rubs it onto her twisted arms. Mom<br />

laughs, telling Abuelita about the time<br />

Catalina threw a fit at Target because she<br />

saw a girl wearing the feathered tiara she<br />

wanted. Even though I know Mom wants to, she can’t cry. Abuelita will see<br />

her. I walk to the refrigerator, open it, feel the rush of cool fall over me, and<br />

cry for her instead.<br />

V. You Are My Sunshine<br />

I call Mom’s cell frantically, wishing she would pick up her dumb phone.<br />

She’s been gone all night—on New Year’s Eve, too. Jane, Catalina, and I sit<br />

on our knees next to the window and peer through the blinds, watching the<br />

fireworks in an attempt to entertain ourselves.<br />

Catalina hears the rumble of the garage door first, and we all sprint down<br />

the stairs. “Where were y—,” Catalina starts irritably as the door opens, but<br />

I shush her. Mom’s holding a small mountain of tissues in her hands. There<br />

are deep nail marks on her arms, as if she’s been clutching herself, and sticky<br />

tearstains on her cheeks. We follow her quietly to Catalina’s room, and the<br />

bolt clicks when Jane closes the door.<br />

“Did she…?” I falter, before I see Jane’s glare. Mom gives a half-nod and<br />

doesn’t bother wiping the tears that are starting to run down her face again.<br />

Her body gives a massive heave, and she speaks with a halt. “She died crying.<br />

She died crying! Ay, dios mio, oh my God, oh my God.” My vision blurs, and I<br />

lie on the floor, mimicking my mom with soft shudders. Catalina doesn’t<br />

know what is going on, so she pets Mom’s head, her small fingers running<br />

through the stiff knots. I can’t breathe; my tongue feels heavy and there’s a<br />

kink in my throat. “Mommy,” I plead and turn to face her. “Mommy, maybe<br />

it was better for her to go. She was suffering so much and—and, now she<br />

doesn’t have to.” I don’t think she hears me.<br />

VI. A Nap<br />

Everyone around me is praying, fingertips touching their lips, mouthing<br />

Ave Maria in unison. I clasp my hands together, but don’t say anything. I<br />

just listen to the soft Spanish tongue cradling my abuelita as she sleeps.<br />

14<br />

Even though I know Mom<br />

wants to, she can’t cry.<br />

Abuelita will see her.


jessica byrne<br />

carlisle, cumbria, uk<br />

country lane | traditional black and white photography<br />

15


tsuruyama yuka<br />

japan, kumamoto<br />

16


taylor nicole marlow<br />

norman, oklahoma, usa<br />

fISh-fry<br />

Grandfather pulls the white glass plate from the fridge with a swish.<br />

He walks out the back door—through the kitchen and into the<br />

garage pantry hallway.<br />

Atop the massive deep freeze filled with frosty<br />

quail pastries hamburger<br />

he builds his station—<br />

a plate of fluffy flour, corn meal, and crimson spices<br />

a vat filled with already crackling oil<br />

and<br />

the crappie<br />

caught fresh from Uncle Tony’s pond that early morning.<br />

I sit on the step behind him, the heavy concrete floor beneath me.<br />

My hands on my bony seven year-old knees, I lean forward to watch him<br />

dip pat sprinkle<br />

the powder onto each thin filet.<br />

He is quick but skilled as he lays the fish into the<br />

pop and sizzle<br />

with his freckled leather hands.<br />

He<br />

batters fries retrieves<br />

until the stack of golden brown is high enough for eleven hungry mouths.<br />

Behind me, I hear the<br />

chime and twinkle<br />

of glass-wear and silver touching tablecloth.<br />

I hear the<br />

laughter and happiness<br />

flowing from the nine other bodies.<br />

It is almost time as Grandfather turns around to find me<br />

the youngest<br />

watching patiently, my eyes wide and excited.<br />

Hey, baby Taylor, ready to eat?<br />

He chuckles heartily and wraps me up in his bear arms as I stand.<br />

Then, I open the door to the rest of our family.<br />

The rest of Thanksgiving.<br />

18


sophie howell<br />

carlisle, cumbria, uk<br />

sunflower city | acrylic on canvas<br />

19


jonathan o’hair<br />

norman, oklahoma, usa<br />

PSyChology<br />

Everything psychological is simultaneously biological. In our bodies,<br />

there are chemical reactions to literally every single emotion we have.<br />

Pain, frustration, anger, boredom, anticipation, joy, relief, empathy, and<br />

wrath are all triggered by a biological gun. Science can’t tell us all of the<br />

secrets of the mind, but it can shed some light on the mystery that is our<br />

very own emotional balance.<br />

What most people don’t know is that there is a steady truce between<br />

the biological functions of the body and the mental responses of the<br />

mind. Even though I hate scientific explanations as much as the next<br />

guy, I paid close attention to what that balance literally means in<br />

common language. That balance is the main driving force in whether you<br />

are happy or sad. Even though we can’t literally measure those levels of<br />

happiness, science can still pinpoint one of the main outlets of function<br />

starting at the different nervous systems. If you’ve ever played a sport,<br />

been in a car wreck, or even pumped yourself up for a job interview,<br />

you’ve experienced the effects of the sympathetic nervous system. You<br />

know when your heart rate speeds up and your blood pressure rises,<br />

time literally slows down. And if something alarms, challenges, or<br />

threatens you, the sympathetic nervous system is there to allow you to<br />

be at your best physically. Unfortunately, going back to the balance,<br />

there also has to be a physical reckoning for every action our mind takes.<br />

The parasympathetic nervous system is that tired feeling after your<br />

sympathetic stress. The crash at the end of a sugar rush, if you will.<br />

But what does that have to do with our emotions, and our happiness<br />

level. Sadly enough, the basic principal used in the sympathetic and<br />

parasympathetic systems is used in our emotional outlets. With every<br />

single feeling of happiness, there will be a different but proportional<br />

feeling of sadness. So the true culprits behind the frustration at<br />

stoplights, the anxiety in airports and elevators, and the anger at an<br />

insult is not the outside stimulus so much, but rather that our bodies<br />

are compensating for previous emotions. It is the same when you laugh<br />

at something you didn’t think you found that funny or when you enjoy<br />

a movie you know you don’t like. If external conflicts are a fire, then our<br />

biological functions are the match, and the phrase “Don’t let that bother<br />

you” never seemed so impossible.<br />

20


worapan kongtaewtong<br />

bangkok, thailand<br />

retrospective | colored pencil on paper<br />

21


jake ross<br />

greenville, south carolina, usa<br />

WorKer bee<br />

The way River walked made me have to cross my legs sometimes, if<br />

you know what I mean, and I think you do. She wasn’t like most girls,<br />

with dark denim jeans hugging like a second skin and over-exaggerated<br />

mosquito bites pressing out of low-cut polo shirts. River was different;<br />

she was – what’s the word? – unconventionally sexy, like straight out<br />

of the movies, with her flowing skirts and tennis shoes made out of<br />

recycled tires and bouncing,<br />

brick-colored hair that fell<br />

down to where I imagined<br />

the crack of her ass to start.<br />

That may not sound so hot to<br />

you, but I swear it’s the way<br />

she walked that got me going.<br />

That walk, it could kill a guy.<br />

She walked real aggressive, like if you got in her way she’d slam<br />

you against the lockers and verbally assault your character until you<br />

realized you’d been wrong all your life. She was a real hippie, see, but a<br />

smart hippie, up on all the current events and all that. River was fiery,<br />

and she openly hated stupid people. She regularly destroyed dunces<br />

and left them floating in her wake. Once, in history class, Football<br />

Bobby made this comment in favor of the president, but he didn’t have<br />

the facts to back it up, see, so River took him out in front of the whole<br />

class, proverbially tackled him on the fifty-yard line of Debate Stadium,<br />

knocked his helmet off and left him for dead. For the rest of the year,<br />

Bobby was real quiet in history class.<br />

But maybe that was a bad example; maybe a better example would<br />

be Fresh Out of Home-School Susan, who felt the need to give her own<br />

opinion on stem-cell research in the middle of a biology lecture, and even<br />

Professor Whitaker couldn’t quiet River down then; she stood up and<br />

yelled until Susan shrank into her turtleneck like, well, a turtle, a few<br />

wires anxiously escaping her normally perfect brunette bun. After that,<br />

Susan moved from the front row to the back one. She knitted. Sometimes<br />

River would shoot Susan a look, and Susan would start knitting like the<br />

craziest son of a bitch I ever saw. Her face would scrunch up and redden<br />

out of anger and she would start knitting so fast that you could hear her<br />

22<br />

River was different; she<br />

was – what’s the word? –<br />

unconventionally sexy, like<br />

straight out of the movies.


little sticks clanking together from the front of the room. You know,<br />

those little sticks girls use to knit. I don’t know what they’re called.<br />

How can you expect me to know what those stupid things are called?<br />

Anyway, it was the walk, I swear to God it was. My words can’t even<br />

do it justice. That strong, powerful walk in contrast with all those<br />

flowing dresses and that flowing hair, it was just beautiful. All that<br />

contrast, it got me excited. Shut up, you know what I mean. Maybe you<br />

don’t. Whatever.<br />

Me, I’ve never been savvy like River was, but I wanted to be on that<br />

like a duck on a June bug, so I figured maybe I could trick her into<br />

thinking I was smart just long enough to get that flowy skirt up over her<br />

head. I don’t think she really noticed me, see, it’s easy for me to hug the<br />

wallpaper, and our eyes would never meet even if I stared at her for a<br />

whole class period, even if I sent all kinds of vibes her way. I was always<br />

on the lookout for something interesting I could say that would make me<br />

look smart in her eyes, in those fiery green eyes that she batted when she<br />

did that strut. Hot damn, that strut.<br />

I knew I’d found my chance when I called Time and Weather one<br />

morning. Time and Weather is free, you know, or at least it’s free where<br />

I live, and before they tell you the time and the weather they always<br />

play an advertisement, usually for a chiropractor or Meals on Wheels.<br />

It’s in my interest to know the time and the weather, because I’ve got<br />

to ride my bike to school and back, come hell or high water. But when I<br />

called on this particular morning, the ad was for Bill Maloney’s Custom<br />

Honeybee Removal. Hold on, let me think of what it said. Got bees in your<br />

Apparently, because we<br />

pollute the air, the worker<br />

bees can’t smell right anymore,<br />

and they get lost and die in<br />

the woods or whatever.<br />

trees? That was the first part. And<br />

then: When it’s warm, those bees will<br />

swarm! Call today! Real cutesy,<br />

real stupid, but that was my<br />

chance.<br />

All the honeybees are dying,<br />

see. A third of them are already<br />

dead. We studied them in<br />

biology, after the River-Susan Battle Royale. Apparently, because we<br />

pollute the air, the worker bees can’t smell right anymore, and they get<br />

lost and die in the woods or whatever. And because the worker bees die,<br />

the rest of the hive dies, including the queen. This is some kind of big<br />

deal, because honeybees pollinate our food, and if they go extinct we’ll<br />

have to do it ourselves. Some kind of suck job, huh? With my luck and<br />

my grades, that’s probably what I’ll wind up doing – squirting pollen<br />

onto buds, or however the hell that works.<br />

So I called the guy. I felt like a regular secret agent then, and maybe<br />

23


I got a little too excited; you know how I get sometimes. But I was real<br />

good about it; I got control of myself and caught my breath, and when<br />

the guy said, Hello? I said, Is this the bee man? and he said, Yes, and I said,<br />

My granny’s got a bee problem, how do you get those bees down, do you cut down<br />

the hive and then transport them somewhere? and he said, No, we just gas them;<br />

they drop dead within twenty-four hours, guaranteed, and I said, Isn’t that bad<br />

for the environment? and he said,<br />

Son, which do you care about more, the<br />

“environment” or your granny being<br />

stung by a bunch of insects? and when I<br />

didn’t say anything, he said, Where<br />

does your granny live? and then I got<br />

nervous and hung up.<br />

That may sound like a failure<br />

to you, but I’m not James Bond, so<br />

get over it. There are other ways<br />

to find out about honeybees. On<br />

the internet, I found out about<br />

the worker bees. They do all kinds of stuff you wouldn’t guess, using<br />

processes you wonder how they set up without talking to each other,<br />

without signing a constitution. The worker bees are the sexual misfits.<br />

Some of them go on errands, some of them guard against intruders, some<br />

of them tidy up the hive before the queen does room inspection, some of<br />

them carry out the dead and injured. They’re all little humans in little<br />

palaces, and I guess we’re killing them all, and I knew that would set<br />

River ablaze.<br />

I made my move before history class started. I didn’t want to do it<br />

in front of the chemistry teacher; I just knew that crazy Whit would<br />

overhear me and compliment me for being “well versed,” or some crock<br />

like that, make me sound like a geek, a bozo. I knew the history teacher,<br />

a coach who didn’t know the difference between Cleopatra and Reagan.<br />

I knew he wouldn’t give a rat’s tail. He was the kind that went home and<br />

learned from the textbook along with us, and if you asked him a question<br />

he didn’t know, he’d go into a class-long rant about Bonnie and Clyde,<br />

just to avoid answering. He said that when they robbed all those places<br />

during the Great Depression, Bonnie never fired a shot. Did you know<br />

that? During the shoot outs, Clyde fired and Bonnie loaded.<br />

Anywho, that day I took a deep breath and dove in with both feet;<br />

I marched straight up to River and told her about the bees and Bill<br />

Maloney. I could tell this surprised her enough to quell her rage some,<br />

but I realized I needed to have a reason for striking up a conversation, so<br />

I said, Wouldn’t it be funny if we found out where this guy lived and, say, egged his<br />

24<br />

On the internet, I found<br />

out about the worker bees.<br />

They do all kinds of stuff<br />

you wouldn’t guess, using<br />

processes you wonder how<br />

they set up without talking to<br />

each other, without signing a<br />

constitution.


house? and I could tell that was the turning point, where she would either<br />

take the bait or bite my head off, and holy mackerel did she ever take<br />

it. She said, I like your style, and her slender white fingers slithered down<br />

into her blouse and emerged with a slip of paper that had her number on<br />

it, like it had been waiting for me there, since forever. She said, Call me,<br />

we’ll talk.<br />

We talked. Our conversations were pretty one-sided. River would<br />

cram information into my ear about politics and the “E.P.A.” and some<br />

bunch of yahoos that protect animals, “Petta” I think it was, as in “to<br />

Petta dog,” I’m guessing. Sometimes I’d have to think of hitching that<br />

skirt up, just to keep sane. Her pet name for me was Honeybee, which<br />

made sense and wasn’t so bad. It was just her talking non-stop, and<br />

when she’d go hoarse, she’d ask me a question. Once it was, How do you<br />

feel about nature, Honeybee? and I almost groaned out loud. I told her about<br />

the big oak in the forest behind our double wide, how it used to be nice<br />

but now it’s infested with all of these little white bugs that attack you<br />

when you go near it, fly at your eyes and mouth and nose, like little space<br />

ships protecting the Death Star. She didn’t say anything, and I said, I<br />

don’t know, nature is kinda just a backdrop for the rest of life. And she said, No,<br />

you’re such an idiot, life is just the backdrop for nature; humans are just reckless,<br />

unstable weaklings teetering on top of magnificent organic and non-organic processes,<br />

or some crap like that, and then<br />

But now it’s infested with all<br />

of these little white bugs that<br />

attack you when you go near<br />

it, fly at your eyes and mouth<br />

and nose, like little space ships<br />

protecting the Death Star.<br />

she hung up.<br />

I thought that was curtains for<br />

me, but it wasn’t. River called<br />

back and apologized, and a few<br />

weeks later, she invited me over<br />

for dinner with her father. She<br />

picked me up in her white van<br />

and drove me to their cottage<br />

in the mountains. There was<br />

wilderness everywhere, but it wasn’t po-dunk or anything. It was<br />

classy looking, it had electricity and running water, and there was some<br />

expensive furniture inside.<br />

Before going inside, we ran around in the woods, chased after each<br />

other and then collapsed in a random spot. She was panting, and I would<br />

have been panting too, but I was too focused on her heaving chest to<br />

make a sound. There was silence, and I thought, Is this it? Is this the day?<br />

but no, she started talking. She said, You know Honeybee, everyone in the<br />

world is stupid except you and me. Maybe my father, but he’s gone soft. Everyone<br />

else, they’re destroying the world, and it’s not even on accident anymore. I said, I<br />

don’t know, it seems to me that maybe God and the earth are going to do what they’re<br />

25


going to do, and I instantly wanted to catch those words and stuff them<br />

back in. She turned all the way over and I could see her coiling up, about<br />

to strike, but she stopped herself. She smiled and patted my head like<br />

a dog’s. That’s cute, she said, but you trust me that I’m right, don’t you? and I<br />

nodded, of course. I realized that it must be pretty lonely for River, up<br />

here on this mountain where she knows everything and the view looks<br />

down on the people who don’t.<br />

Before dinner River ran up to her room to check her email, and I<br />

followed her upstairs to size up her bed. I noticed that she had to<br />

use a lot of passwords to get on to her computer, which I knew was<br />

weird, because I’d used computers in school before and they weren’t<br />

that complicated, weren’t that secretive. I didn’t say anything about it<br />

because I didn’t want to sound simple. The conversation at dinner was<br />

pleasant; River’s father, Wayne, was a nice guy, even though he was<br />

divorced.<br />

After dinner, we sat in front of the television in the living room and<br />

watched an old episode of Wayne’s TV show, Wayne’s Wonders. It used to<br />

be on public television, apparently, and it was a show about nature, big<br />

surprise. Wayne explained that the show used to focus on local<br />

scenery, but when the show got more funding the crew went on more<br />

exotic trips, like to the Grand Canyon. On the screen, a much younger<br />

Wayne and a woman stood beside a bush and talked. The cameraman<br />

slowly zoomed in on the bush until you could see a praying mantis<br />

perched between the leaves.<br />

River went up to her room again, to check something on her<br />

computer. The tape ran out. I asked Wayne why the show was canceled,<br />

and he said, Aw, people just don’t care about that stuff anymore, and most people<br />

didn’t care even then. His eyes kind of<br />

lost focus then. I’m not a relationship<br />

expert, but I couldn’t help but wonder<br />

if the woman in the show had been<br />

his wife; she struck a keen likeness<br />

to River. Maybe she’d left because<br />

Wayne got too caught up in his work; maybe it’s possible to love nature<br />

too much and a person not enough.<br />

River came back downstairs with an unnatural smile on her face. Pops,<br />

I’m taking Honeybee and we’re heading out, she said, and I mouthed, We are?<br />

and she punched me in the arm. Wayne laughed. Watch out, my River is a<br />

firecracker, he said, and I said, Yessir, how I know it, and we left the cottage.<br />

River walked me to the van, and we got inside and drove for a long time.<br />

I could tell she wasn’t taking me home, or to the movies, or anything<br />

like that, but every time I tried to ask about it she would turn up the<br />

26<br />

Maybe it’s possible to love<br />

nature too much and a<br />

person not enough.


my ngoc to<br />

lilburn, georgia, usa<br />

radio, even<br />

if it was a<br />

mindless<br />

song I<br />

knew she<br />

didn’t like.<br />

After<br />

awhile,<br />

River got<br />

this look<br />

on her face.<br />

She was<br />

squinting<br />

in the dark,<br />

trying to<br />

read the<br />

street<br />

signs, being<br />

real careful<br />

of where<br />

we were<br />

going, like<br />

it was some<br />

secret.<br />

Wouldn’t<br />

it be funny<br />

if we had<br />

wound up<br />

on McBee<br />

Street, or<br />

some crap<br />

like that,<br />

but no, we<br />

were on<br />

transcriptions in time | pencil drawing<br />

Wilkinson<br />

Avenue, on the opposite side of town from where I live, and on the<br />

opposite altitude from River’s cabin. We parked and River killed the<br />

engine and the headlights and everything fell dark, and I thought Holy<br />

mackerel, this is it, this is it. She climbed into the back of the van and I<br />

jumped back there like a bullfrog, and I was kissing her and I grabbed<br />

27


her thigh. But I guess I was biting her lip and maybe I was grabbing<br />

a little too hard, see, you know how excited I get sometimes, and she<br />

pushed me off and wiped her mouth and said, No, Honeybee, that’s not<br />

what we’re doing, and I realized we were sliding around on something<br />

uncomfortable. She lifted up a canvas sheet and lit up a flashlight and<br />

shined it on a bunch of metal canisters.<br />

I said, This doesn’t make much sense to me, and she said, This is the stuff<br />

Maloney uses to kill the bees; his house is<br />

right there, and I said, I don’t follow,<br />

but by then I figure she’d already<br />

left me behind, in her head at least.<br />

She pulled her skirt up over her<br />

head, but not in any way that I liked,<br />

because she was wearing black<br />

sweats underneath. She whipped out<br />

this black knit cap and slid it over<br />

her face, and every bit of that brickcolored<br />

hair disappeared. It wasn’t<br />

two seconds before she had gloves<br />

and a ski mask on me, too. As we walked up to his house, it seemed to<br />

me that it didn’t look like the house of anyone evil. River walked around<br />

and looked in all the windows until she found the bedroom, and she<br />

jimmied the window open real quiet. She walked over to me and handed<br />

me the canisters and said, He’s in there asleep, throw them in, and I said, No, I<br />

can’t… your walk is different, and she said, What are you talking about? and then<br />

she said, Never mind, just throw them in. You want me, don’t you? Throw them in.<br />

Even in the dark, even through the slits in her mask I could see those<br />

green eyes, so I figured there was some hope. I pulled the tabs on the<br />

bombs and started throwing them in, one by one. Those things don’t<br />

explode, you know, they just fog up the place, so we had to stand there<br />

for a long time and wait. I started getting nervous. We have to stop it, I<br />

said, he’s asleep and he’ll just breathe it in until he’s dead. She said, Shut up, and<br />

not much after that the upper half of Bill Maloney exploded out of the<br />

open window, red-faced, drooling, wheezing, sputtering. River grabbed<br />

my arm and said, Let’s go, but I didn’t follow her. I looked straight into<br />

the face of Bill Maloney as he hung there. I don’t know who he reminded<br />

me of, maybe Wayne or my own father, maybe the coach or Professor<br />

Whitaker, but he certainly did not have the dead eyes that a murderer<br />

should. On the contrary, his eyes were teary and wild, like something was<br />

being robbed from him but he couldn’t comprehend what. I walked over<br />

and hauled Bill Maloney safely out of his house, and I had to run all the<br />

way back to my double wide on foot, see, because River was already gone.<br />

28<br />

She whipped out this<br />

black knit cap and slid it<br />

over her face, and every<br />

bit of that brick-colored<br />

hair disappeared. It<br />

wasn’t two seconds before<br />

she had gloves and a ski<br />

mask on me, too.


I guess I blew it on that one.<br />

Maloney didn’t die. I think the police went to his house, but nothing<br />

came of it. He picked up and moved further south, and I felt sorry for any<br />

man who has to move constantly to make a living, one step ahead of the<br />

knowledge that’s trickling down, state to state. River left, and not even<br />

Wayne knows where she went. He hired some geek, some bozo to crack<br />

open her computer and under all those passwords he found out River<br />

had joined some kind of organization, a bunch of<br />

Even if she’s<br />

in disguise, I<br />

can spot that<br />

walk from a<br />

mile away.<br />

environmental freaks with their morals in the wrong<br />

place.<br />

I reckon that’s the most interesting thing that<br />

happened to me all year, what with bombing a guy<br />

and finding the love of my life and all. I don’t have<br />

the money for a car, but every weekend I search a<br />

different area with my bike, like a detective, looking<br />

for River. You can come help me look one day, if you want, but I’m the<br />

only one that can spot her. Even if she’s in disguise, I can spot that walk<br />

from a mile away.<br />

See, I’ve got this feeling she’s in the wilderness.<br />

29


jake ross<br />

greenville, south carolina, usa<br />

IntervIeW mAy 2009<br />

Jake Ross was one of those persons who stuck out right from the beginning.<br />

On our first Sunday workday, we lounged around reading piece after<br />

piece of writing when we happened upon Jake’s story “Worker Bee.” At<br />

first, we didn’t quite know what to make of it. Hesitant giggles escaped<br />

our lips as we tentatively read the first few pages. We decided to call in<br />

reinforcements. Katie, the editor, was outside the room at our computer<br />

lab, so we called her into the classroom. She sat on the table, and as her eyes<br />

scanned the pages, a smile spread across her face. She proceeded to read the<br />

whole story aloud. Belly laughs erupted when Katie got to the parts where<br />

the narrator described River’s walk, the way her hips swayed, the narrator’s<br />

quirky descriptions and the truth of being in love with someone who just<br />

doesn’t love you back. River may not deserve it, but we were all just as<br />

smitten with her as that blindly loyal and sexually frustrated narrator. We<br />

found ourselves quoting it in class daily. We knew we had to meet the man<br />

behind the story. So, without further ado, Jake Ross.<br />

-hannah halland, art editor and ryan casas, website editor<br />

AI: We noticed right off the bat that you had a very particular tone of voice in your<br />

writing. Can you give us a little information about how you developed that voice?<br />

Have you always been set in your style and known that was your voice? Or did it take<br />

time to develop?<br />

JR: Everyone likes to talk as if they understand it, but the concept of<br />

“voice” is pretty elusive. My teacher defines it as “a stew of everything a<br />

writer has read.” I have no idea how to describe my voice, but my advice<br />

to anyone trying to develop one would be this: read a lot, but read what<br />

you know is good. When a famous writer says, “I used to read anything<br />

I could get my hands on,” I don’t believe him for a hot second. What was<br />

he reading? Travel brochures? Dr. Seuss? Twilight? If someone stewed<br />

those together and wrote a novel, I wouldn’t want to read it. Surely, to<br />

develop a respectable voice, you have to focus on quality literature.<br />

Tone, in comparison, is simple. When I start writing something, I<br />

think: Would anyone take this situation seriously? If so, I forget about<br />

punch lines and tell the story. If not, I work in some humor. I switch<br />

back and forth, but I do get a kick out of making someone laugh. Besides,<br />

a good joke can make people pay attention. They want another joke.<br />

Even if you don’t give it to them, even if your story or essay ends on a<br />

serious note, at least they’ve paid attention.<br />

30


AI: What are some techniques you use to develop plots and characters in your short<br />

stories?<br />

JR: I revise constantly as I write, because I’m always asking myself<br />

questions. How would he describe this? How would she react to that?<br />

Whenever possible, I take out something generic and replace it with<br />

something unique. I was almost laughed out of the writing room when<br />

someone looked over my shoulder and read the first line of Worker Bee,<br />

but eventually everyone understood that I was writing the way my narrator<br />

might talk. I imagined this sexually repressed country boy who<br />

was still humble enough to devote his entire life to an undeserving girl.<br />

It was fun. I got to use those weird colloquialisms.<br />

Again with my teacher. He quotes James Joyce: “A writer should<br />

know how much change a character has in his pockets.” I think this is a<br />

little ridiculous – after all, I keep my change in a jar on my desk. And I<br />

firmly believe the penny should be taken out of circulation. The nickel<br />

could be the lowest denomination if we changed the pricing system a<br />

little bit. The penny, after all, is annoying and useless. Just think of all<br />

the natural resources – and time – we would save. I used to work in retail;<br />

I know how long it takes to count out pennies, then pick up the one<br />

you inevitably drop.<br />

But anyway, I’ll shut up; I guess I’m revealing character.<br />

AI: What made you write this story? You mentioned it began with an insect-removal<br />

jingle. Could you elaborate on this? Are you particularly concerned with decline in<br />

honeybee populations around the world?<br />

JR: Just like the narrator in “Worker Bee,” I called Time and Weather<br />

one morning and heard the Bee Removal advertisement. I called over and<br />

over, trying to get the same ad to play, but I never got it again. So I wrote<br />

down the jingle and telephone number as best as I could remember,<br />

then called. I got the guy’s answering machine. Later that day, he called<br />

back and left a voice mail. I remember he called me by my first name,<br />

which he must have heard on my greeting, but it was still kind of creepy.<br />

I assumed a full conversation would just result in an argument about<br />

conservation, so I dropped the notion and started writing about him<br />

without any further investigation.<br />

Yes, the honeybee decline scares me, if only from its sheer rapidity.<br />

Because we sit around and argue about everything, most environmentrelated<br />

issues seem to have left us in the dust, outpaced us. Interestingly<br />

enough, the suspected cause of Colony Collapse Disorder (the bee<br />

problem) has shifted a few times since I wrote Worker Bee – from air<br />

pollution to global warming, then to runoff of super-pesticides, then to a<br />

particularly potent virus.<br />

31


AI: What are some other concerns you have for the world? Are there any world<br />

issues or beliefs that are particularly interesting to you? (i.e. issues/ideas that are<br />

political, environmental, religious, ancient, philosophical etc.)<br />

JR: There’s a recent article in the New Yorker. Apparently, animals in<br />

Florida zoos escape every time there’s a hurricane. Most of them are<br />

rounded up or killed, but a large population of exotic reptiles consistently<br />

avoids capture. The boa constrictor, especially, seems to have adapted<br />

well to Florida as a natural habitat and is multiplying rapidly. According<br />

to some experts, boas will inhabit most southern states within a few<br />

decades. My mother is terrified of snakes. I think this prospect scares her<br />

more than the duck-and-cover drills she did as a child.<br />

We like to think that, if we all got on a space ship and left Earth alone<br />

for a while, the planet would heal itself. And it would, but it would<br />

look different from the way we found it. After all, we have caused the<br />

extinction of many species. We have imported foreign plants and animals<br />

that killed native plants and animals. I don’t think most people realize<br />

how far we’ve already overstepped our ecological boundaries. For further<br />

reading, I recommend The World Without Us by Alan Weisman.<br />

So yeah. I think about that too much.<br />

AI: In Montana, many of us go on hikes in the mountains or walk by the rivers to get<br />

in touch with nature and fuel our creative fires. Do you ever do anything like this? If<br />

so, where are some places in South Carolina that you go to do this?<br />

JR: In this, I envy Montanans. I know there are plenty of cool nature<br />

spots in the rural areas of South Carolina, but not so much in a city like<br />

Greenville. Our campus at the Governor’s School does overlook a<br />

beautiful park that we spend a lot of time in, but the river that runs<br />

through it – the Reedy – is polluted to the point of Swimming Advisory<br />

signs. In other words: look at the pretty river, but don’t touch.<br />

AI: You mentioned doing a research paper on Pablo Neruda and that you read<br />

too much of his work for your own good. Who are your favorite poets or short story<br />

authors? Why?<br />

JR: I don’t read as much poetry as I should, but overall, Neruda is a<br />

front-runner. I’m not a fan of his love poems, but his odes to everyday<br />

objects are amazing. Plus, the man took so many risks for his beliefs and<br />

his writing – you’ve got to respect that.<br />

Fiction: Flannery O’Connor is the supreme. Charles Baxter, also great.<br />

My favorite short story to date is “Hidden Meaning: Ain’t Gonna Bump<br />

No More No Big Fat Woman” by Michael Parker. Nonfiction: writers like<br />

Tobias Wolff and Susan Orlean are staples. I’m interested, obviously, in<br />

environmental writing, so Rachel Carson, Lewis Thomas, Rick Bass, Bill<br />

Bryson, and Barry Lopez are all currently being added to my “stew.”<br />

32


AI: Before attending South Carolina Governor’s school, what did you want to be<br />

when you grew up?<br />

JR: We had to answer this question in kindergarten, and on my slip<br />

of paper I wrote “ventriloquist.” It would probably take a psychiatrist<br />

to figure out why. Other than that, I thought seriously about being a<br />

marine biologist. Then a lawyer. Then anything but a lawyer.<br />

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. My ideal:<br />

someone walks up to me and says, “Hey there, kid, we would like to pay<br />

you money to travel around and write about the environment, and maybe<br />

some other stuff, too, if you get the urge.”<br />

If you know anyone like that, call me.<br />

AI: In Montana, we have no schools that are dedicated specifically to the arts. What<br />

is it like to go to an art school? What is the atmosphere like? How are your classes<br />

structured? Do you prefer going to an art school, if so, why?<br />

JR: As conservative as South Carolina once was, it’s a miracle that any<br />

old philanthropist thought to give money to the arts as opposed to, say,<br />

the Governor’s School for Hunting Woodland Creatures, or the Governor’s<br />

School for Absolutely No Gay People. Luckily, by some freaking miracle,<br />

Greenville wound up with a few really great art schools. I’m not really a<br />

self-made writer; I’ve been in creative writing classes, in some form or<br />

another, since seventh grade. Each consecutive program has been more<br />

intense than the last. I don’t take the opportunity for granted.<br />

The South Carolina Governor’s School for the Arts and Humanities is<br />

a state-supported school. Kids from all over the state audition, and they<br />

take the best ones for each department. You live on campus. Unlike most<br />

residential art schools, there is no tuition; we have a whole team of people<br />

who are always trying to get money to keep the school alive. A student has<br />

academic classes until lunch, followed by arts classes (dance, drama, music,<br />

visual art, writing – whatever you auditioned for) until four thirty.<br />

Yes, I prefer my school to a normal high school, because it serves as<br />

an example of what every school should be like. My school is both a<br />

prototype and an endangered species.<br />

AI: Your bio states that you enjoy “wearing sweaters designed for old<br />

men.” Is this a new fashion for you? Is a fluke or will old man sweaters<br />

continue to be must haves in your wardrobe for years to come?<br />

JR: Just today, I was sitting across from one of my friends at dinner<br />

when I realized something. “If I go to college in California,” I yelled, “I<br />

can’t wear sweaters anymore! It’s too hot there!” It was a devastating<br />

moment. There will, I believe, come a time when I have to choose<br />

between my sweaters and my future. Who knows what will happen?<br />

33


allison lazarus<br />

terrace park, ohio, usa<br />

ImItAtIng KerouAC In the SummertIme<br />

1. there are a lot of halves of me floating around as specters where would they go<br />

would they live in gardens and adorn themselves for parades?<br />

i think that they would like what i do they would eat spaghetti<br />

and throw pebbles and go to amusement parks<br />

but then they would go back home and throw up because specters and ghosts<br />

can’t eat and they can’t keep pretending that they’re more than half of anyone<br />

2. i think like salt when you pour it into the shaker and it kind of tumbles over<br />

itself in a race to fill the corners—the desired spots.<br />

i remember when we went on vacation with dad to Michigan and we climbed on<br />

the world’s biggest sand dune i don’t remember the name now but<br />

it was beautiful and there anytime you stepped the sand rushed to fill your<br />

abandoned footsteps and i wondered why<br />

it didn’t just keep going the whole dune with the same<br />

eagerness and make<br />

a whole new mountain right where you had stepped because it<br />

was so excited its piling just disrupting the laws of gravity and<br />

physics because it wanted to touch you even if indirectly for just a second<br />

34


sarah stern<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

the road ahead | digital photography<br />

35


ayna kuliyeva<br />

ashgabat, turkmenistan<br />

one dAy In future<br />

In far future when I am 30<br />

I will remember the thing that I wrote on this paper.<br />

Maybe feelings that I have now and there is good weather over the<br />

window.<br />

Maybe the bird singing and it is wonder magnificent landscape in my yard.<br />

Maybe the dog who is barking over the fence,<br />

And my mother who is cooking delicious food in the kitchen<br />

Maybe sound of washing machine.<br />

And the program that I’m watching on TV<br />

Maybe only leaf, which occasionally fell in the window-sill<br />

Who knows maybe I won’t remember anything<br />

And it will be a simple day<br />

If it’s there I will be happy to have every day.<br />

36


ella carruthers and hollie milburn<br />

carlisle, cumbria, uk<br />

old and new | mixed media on paper<br />

37


obaid syed<br />

norman, oklahoma, usa<br />

the Army<br />

It was getting late, Nimbuk observed, as the sun reached its<br />

destination on the horizon. “Goodbye, friends,” he said to his teammates,<br />

and began the race against the sun. He ran through fields where farms<br />

should have been, threatening the sun from going farther with his stare.<br />

At least the wind was supportive, he thought, as it blew in his direction. He<br />

almost enjoyed the rush invoked<br />

by his procrastination, because<br />

it made him feel like his energy<br />

was being channeled throughout<br />

his body, giving it the ability<br />

to produce whatever action he<br />

willed it to produce.<br />

He reached the depreciated<br />

apartment building and sighed<br />

in relief. He wasn’t going to be too<br />

late. He walked toward the house, climbing the torn stairs skillfully,<br />

remembering which plank was safe enough to step on. He knocked<br />

firmly, and waited. The usual welcoming creek of the door was absent<br />

today, it seemed. He resorted to plan b, which required him to jump on<br />

the side railing, hop on to the wide windowsill two floors in the air and<br />

carefully slip the thin metal plate inside to open the lock. He tumbled in<br />

with a crash loud enough to wake anyone in the house. Yet no one came.<br />

He found no signs around the house explaining his parents’ sudden<br />

departure. This never happens, he thought. They always inform me before they<br />

leave. He looked more closely at everything around him – the sofas sat,<br />

the ornaments hung, and the books lay the same way as they had this<br />

morning, before he departed. His eye fell upon something he had given<br />

little importance to earlier – the carpet bristles were inverted, making a<br />

path pointed toward the door. Immediately, he left the house, planning<br />

to ask his neighbors. His plans changed, however, as he saw five grey<br />

overcoats and one outstretched hand, displaying a police badge.<br />

“Where are my parents?” Nimbuk demanded, knowing to be direct<br />

with these officials.<br />

“All I can say is this: your parents are traitors against the sovereignty,<br />

and must be punished accordingly. Be quiet and come with us. Asking<br />

questions would only make the situation worse for you and your<br />

38<br />

Immediately, he left the house,<br />

planning to ask his neighbors.<br />

His plans changed, however,<br />

as he saw five grey overcoats<br />

and one outstretched hand,<br />

displaying a police badge.


parents,” the one on the left replied.<br />

He stayed quiet, no matter how much curiosity clawed at him. He was<br />

put in an old van containing other children, mainly from the lower class,<br />

all of whom where just as inquisitive and terrified as he. “Do you guys<br />

know anything about this?” he asked.<br />

A skinny boy on the right looked at him. “Do you know about the<br />

Army Expansion Resolve?” he asked. He received only blank stares.<br />

“Well, it is something passed by Jinba, our dictator. He wanted to<br />

challenge other nations, so he decided on building an army twice its<br />

original size. Due to the lack of adult recruits, he resorted to a cruel but,<br />

for him, effective method – an army of children,” he ended, with a solemn<br />

sigh on his face.<br />

“Are you suggesting that he wants to make us part of the army?” the<br />

boy of the left asked. Nimbuk immediately recognized him – Tink was<br />

his charismatic classmate.<br />

“You must be kidding me. I know he’s dumb, but I didn’t know he<br />

was that dumb,” Nimbuk said.<br />

A few hours and a few children later, they reached a debilitated<br />

building complex labeled “Army Training Center.” The 42 kids stared<br />

at the barren gray walls and wondered how long they would remain<br />

inside its parameters. Every muscle in their bodies instinctively resisted<br />

“Are you suggesting<br />

that he wants to make<br />

us part of the army?”<br />

the boy on the left asked.<br />

heading toward the place, but the<br />

atmospheric pressure, shaped by<br />

threats and orders from the angrylooking<br />

men, overruled them. They<br />

took their shoes off at the gate,<br />

following an order from the gate<br />

guard, and continued walking on the hot concrete until they gave up<br />

restraint and ran to their destination to keep their feet from getting<br />

burnt.<br />

The inside smelled of sweat and felt like a stove, most likely due<br />

to the lack of windows. The ceiling allowed in some refracted light<br />

through which objects were given surreal forms, like when one looks<br />

at the sky through 50 feet of water. The new members walked in a<br />

broken up line to their assigned sleeping spots. They found a huge<br />

room assigned to them, the size of an auditorium, piled with thin<br />

mattresses and wispy blankets along the walls, reminding them that it<br />

was heavily shared. Dropping off the little they had there, they joined<br />

everyone else at dinner, observing the food to be just as bad as the rest<br />

of the dreary place. Nimbuk tried to inquire the kids around him, but<br />

received no more answers deviating from what the boy had said earlier.<br />

He eventually gave up. His parents were in god-knows-where, he was<br />

39


alone in this prison, and he knew things were just going to get worse.<br />

His thoughts pained him. Sitting on the rock bench, he ate the supply of<br />

what was called food and headed to bed, trying to get his thoughts away<br />

from him.<br />

He woke up the next day, surrounded by hundreds of people lying<br />

around him, some asleep and some unable to sleep. The training had<br />

begun.<br />

They woke to run miles, to practice combat, to do assigned labors,<br />

ranging from washing dishes to manufacturing explosives in the nearby<br />

factory. Every day, they mechanically went through the same routine. At<br />

least, they thought, they were alive.<br />

The physical movements within themselves weren’t harsh, but the<br />

fact that they were doing them against their will made them feel as if<br />

they were less than human. On every push-up, every gunshot, every<br />

mile, they were burdened with the knowledge that they were being<br />

manipulated. Yet they continued on,<br />

doing what they could to pass the time<br />

with as little pain as possible. As the<br />

beads of sweat fell from their faces, the<br />

hope for a better future became bleak.<br />

Water. Never before had it been of<br />

greater value to Nimbuk than now.<br />

Food. What an imaginary concept!<br />

Free will. There is no such thing. The<br />

colors became undefined, the people indistinct. Life retained no meaning<br />

but to war. Everything he was taught made him a tool to be used of and<br />

disposed at war. He called out for war, if only to break the monotony,<br />

and, to his horror, war heard his call.<br />

The dictator Jinba, in the all too common quest for power, decided<br />

to take over his neighboring country, Maylei. “For the defense of the<br />

nation” he went on an offensive that called all the training institutes to<br />

release its children to go to war.<br />

Nimbuk and his friends went there, via rusty school bus, loaded with<br />

weapons and harmful intentions, but glad to finally have some change in<br />

their schedules. Upon reaching the area, they passed by an army of men<br />

looking warrior-like, and the army of boys,<br />

looking like sheep to be slayed.<br />

Weapon ready, Nimbuk started the march, almost excited, for<br />

reality to bear too much horror if confronted. Around him was a<br />

similar attitude, arising from the fiery spirit of war. They marched on,<br />

awaiting battle, until they reached the capital of Maylei – the City of<br />

Reuk. Looking upon the massive wall that bordered its surroundings, a<br />

40<br />

On every push-up, every<br />

gunshot, every mile, they<br />

were burdened with the<br />

knowledge that they were<br />

being manipulated.


alex welcher<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

grim attitude<br />

overtook<br />

the warriors<br />

and children.<br />

They realized<br />

the sacrifice<br />

necessary to<br />

even get close<br />

to the fortress<br />

walls would<br />

be too great.<br />

Confirming<br />

their fears,<br />

the dictator,<br />

as chief<br />

commander<br />

of the army,<br />

announced<br />

that the battle<br />

must go on.<br />

He said the<br />

‘little warriors’<br />

should go first.<br />

Anger<br />

spread through<br />

the group of<br />

‘little warriors’<br />

like brush fire,<br />

but compliance<br />

was necessary.<br />

They began<br />

their death<br />

march, being<br />

drowning dreams | traditional black and white photography<br />

open to the<br />

arrows and gunshots of their enemies. At first, it all seemed customary,<br />

since they were told of death and trained in ways to deal with it on the<br />

battlefield. However, when the first boy, who was a good friend to all,<br />

was shot down, chaos spread through the group. They suddenly came<br />

back to their senses, after months of getting them dulled by the institute,<br />

and remembered the atrocity of which they were to partake.<br />

41


There were few options available to them though – defying Jinba’s<br />

orders was instant death for the dissidents, no matter how many there<br />

were. So they did the only thing they knew: they kept marching on,<br />

looking at their friends die beside them, and awaiting death themselves.<br />

Blood gushed everywhere; the field had turned red. The army protocol<br />

was still followed.<br />

Nimbuk had just about had it. He lost his parents, he was forced<br />

into training, and now this. He wanted something to be done. He<br />

turned around in a semi-circle from the marching warriors, something<br />

that soldiers were taught not to do in any situation, and he located the<br />

dictator, sitting in his plush tent. He ran against the flow, hidden in his<br />

chosen path, and reached the army’s base line again. Jinba had built an<br />

impressive army – it easily spanned a few leagues. He shuffled through<br />

the crowd like a lion running through the forest, skillfully dodging all<br />

the armed battlements, until he reached the spot where the dictator<br />

should have been. The tent had no one inside now; the surrounding<br />

people had no information about his location. He decided to wait in the<br />

tent with his weapon ready. A few hours passed, and each minute, he felt<br />

the pain his friends experienced on the field. Yet, he could do nothing<br />

about it…yet.<br />

Jinba arrived. He along with three guards, armed to the teeth, walked<br />

into the tent. Nimbuk realized that these might be the last moments of<br />

his own life. I’ll take one for the team, he decided. He leaped out from<br />

underneath the table, simultaneously driving his knife into Jimba’s heart.<br />

Yet, they both felt the pain. Nimbuk’s grip on the knife slipped, and he<br />

let the light enclose him and carry him to his parents.<br />

You have made us proud.<br />

42


hAIdA StAtueS<br />

Totems stand tall with great depression<br />

Because they’re so tired and old<br />

Each animal has a spirit that never dies<br />

But worn colors, cracks, and crevasses<br />

Of the eagle, raven, frog, and bear<br />

Are signs that nature never rests<br />

They tower over us with respect and pride<br />

But day after day as time continues<br />

We go about our business<br />

These totems feel no appreciation<br />

Someday someone will stop to glance<br />

And that glance will last forever<br />

marquette patterson<br />

hydaburg, alaska, usa<br />

43


shapovalova victoria<br />

russia, tatarstan, kazan<br />

Зима<br />

Кругом зима.<br />

Шумит метель; хрустят снега<br />

И ель своею красотой пленит.<br />

Шумят ветра,<br />

Лишь только слышен треск огня,<br />

Пылающего вдалеке.<br />

Сижу я тихо у окна,<br />

Любуясь молча на узоры,<br />

Что тонко лежат на холодном стекле.<br />

Давно не веря в Дедушку Мороза,<br />

Жду с нетерпеньем я тот час,<br />

Когда все стрелки на часах замрут,<br />

Шепча, что полночь наступает,<br />

Что новый год свои владенья обходя,<br />

Дарует радость нам.<br />

И обо всем вдруг забывая,<br />

Из дома выбежит народ.<br />

И фейерверки зажигая,<br />

Любуясь на небесный свод,<br />

Все люди вспомнят уходящий год,<br />

И не броня его, без зла - проводят.<br />

И встретят с радостной улыбкой на устах<br />

Год приходящий, новый, долгожданный.<br />

Лишь только малыши,<br />

В кроватках засыпая, не заметят,<br />

Что старый год уже прошел,<br />

А новый только наступает.<br />

44


WInter<br />

victoria shapovalova<br />

kazan, tatarstan, russia<br />

Winter is everywhere.<br />

The blizzard rustles; snow crackles<br />

And a fur-tree captivates with its beauty.<br />

Rustle the winds,<br />

And only the crash of fire flaring in the distance is audible.<br />

I`m sitting silently at a window,<br />

Admiring silently the patterns<br />

Which are on a cold glass.<br />

For a long time without trusting in the Father Frost,<br />

I`ve been waiting impatiently for that hour<br />

When all hands of the clocks will stop,<br />

Whispering that midnight comes<br />

That New Year its possessions passing by,<br />

Grants pleasure to us.<br />

And suddenly about everything forgetting,<br />

From the house the people will run out.<br />

And fireworks lighting,<br />

Admiring a heavenly arch,<br />

All people will recollect the expiring year,<br />

And without harm will accompany it.<br />

And also will meet with a joyful smile on lips<br />

The Year coming, new, long-awaited.<br />

And only kids, in beds falling asleep will not notice<br />

That old year has already passed,<br />

And new one only comes.<br />

45


michele corriston<br />

allendale, new jersey, usa<br />

ColorIng you<br />

The air above my bed<br />

whispers lies;<br />

it flows into my ear<br />

and paints you.<br />

They say we dream<br />

in black and white,<br />

that our minds put<br />

color where color belongs<br />

when we awaken,<br />

but you were red last night<br />

and I was blue-green and<br />

we were all soft and<br />

and iridescent.<br />

We had texture and shape and heat,<br />

oil, water, form, contrast,<br />

glaze, symmetry, and rhythm—<br />

the beat of each stroke<br />

against cold canvas.<br />

Last night,<br />

I saw you in full chroma,<br />

a glittering lie.<br />

46


laura elder<br />

carlisle, cumbria, uk<br />

decorative glory | textile and mixed media<br />

47


hannah lodwick<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

48


the naked lunch | painting<br />

49


alexandria kim<br />

allendale, new jersey, usa<br />

fISh<br />

During a time of turmoil on a small peninsula in East Asia, before it<br />

was crowned a country, there was a shanty. In its single room, a mother<br />

peered over the half-empty, splintering bowl of rice. She sucked in air<br />

with relief. Her three sons, however, impatiently pounded on the<br />

furnace, demanding, What about the pan-chan*? and rattling their<br />

empty plates.<br />

Their mother blew out despair and pulled out a bony flounder. Its<br />

frugal aroma carved famish already engraved in the boys’ stomachs.<br />

They cried with excitement. But the mother shushed them and walked<br />

to the center of the room, carrying the toasted fish. She stepped on<br />

a stool and with a long piece of thread, tied the fish to a hook on the<br />

ceiling. The flounder swung back and forth like a child pushing on the<br />

swings, swinging steadily like a pendulum in a grandfather clock. The<br />

fish seemed to mock the mother with its steadiness. The mother quickly<br />

stopped the swaying piece of light meat.<br />

My sons, this is how to eat a meal.<br />

The mother ordered her children to sit around the table as the fish<br />

quivered with each of the boys’ steps. She backed away, observing her<br />

giggling boys who were jumping and reaching for the fish, like Jindo<br />

dogs anticipating a tasty treat. She blinked back despair and set the halffull<br />

rice bowl to the table. The mother pointed upwards.<br />

After every spoonful of rice you eat, you will look at the fish and imagine that you<br />

ate a piece of fish with it.<br />

So the boys ate like this until the fish decayed in a week; the gnats got<br />

to it first. These three boys who ate the tepid, stale grains of rice dreamt<br />

of silver slivers of smoking flounder dancing on their tongues. The taste<br />

was so close and the smell was so alluring, but the children would<br />

eventually learn that satiation was a luxury fit for an emperor.<br />

* pan-chan: a Korean term for the side dishes eaten with rice<br />

50<br />

James Welch Fiction A w a r d W i n n e r


olivia dykes<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

table top stain | traditional photography<br />

51


alexandria kim<br />

allendale, new jersey, usa<br />

hoW to mAKe KImChI<br />

Go to the cheapest market you can find<br />

and ask for the crispiest cabbage.<br />

Then don’t believe the sellers’ words;<br />

instead, open the cardboard box<br />

and look for brown colors –<br />

aged spots and soft bruises.<br />

Wash the cabbage tenderly;<br />

fingertips for sponges,<br />

kosher salt for soap.<br />

Mix a scarlet sauce of<br />

scallions, onions,<br />

and pepper powder.<br />

More pepper awakens<br />

the taste buds.<br />

Spread the sauce on each leaf<br />

evenly and lightly.<br />

Fold the cabbage into a tight ball<br />

and compress them in a bowl<br />

with marble.<br />

Keep it away from<br />

the scathing sun.<br />

Let the leaves soak in spices<br />

in damp air.<br />

Wait for a day.<br />

Then<br />

Unwrap<br />

Unfold<br />

Cut.<br />

If the kimchi pricks your tongue,<br />

if its tang tickles your nose,<br />

and if its painful taste is soothed by rice,<br />

you made it right.<br />

52


the tWo SIdeS of A nAme:<br />

AlexAndrIA Song hWA KIm<br />

Song-Hwa:<br />

Vowels of the English alphabet are novice.<br />

Humored foreigners do not understand the<br />

rich, tunneled “oh” and the lingering roll<br />

of the tongue, emphasizing on the exhale<br />

with a tickle on a quick widening of the lips.<br />

The blow on the “h” masks a precise, tidy<br />

whisper that precedes the tidal wave of<br />

a satisfied “ah.”<br />

The two syllables connect in one breath.<br />

Names represent the beauty of sound that<br />

is reserved for distant brothers and sisters.<br />

Alexandria:<br />

But here I am defined by accomplishment,<br />

a name used to label passports and bank cards.<br />

The name is a jigsaw piece that was<br />

wedged into the wrong grooves;<br />

I am drowning in this melting pot.<br />

My mother does not know how to spell it,<br />

(let alone pronounce it),<br />

unable to find the rhythm of this name<br />

of forbidden five syllables and dribbling English,<br />

like raw grease dripping onto her lap from<br />

under cooked, bleeding Big Macs.<br />

My mother was dust in the tumbleweed<br />

of desperate dreams –<br />

masking identity, embracing<br />

“ass-imilation,”<br />

fleeing in shame when they<br />

scurried on the streets of gold and dollar bills.<br />

53


jamie piscotta<br />

layton, utah, usa<br />

We Were So WISe<br />

I wish I could go back<br />

and not just to my childhood<br />

I mean all the way back<br />

to that day we reached the moon<br />

and came back for a lunch picnic in the forest<br />

and after we built a castle<br />

then chased the clouds<br />

but just before it all ended we found Africa<br />

and we stopped at the watering hole<br />

we squished the dark mud through our toes<br />

of course we made mud pies, and we sold them to the zebras and giraffe<br />

with our skin still covered we climbed out and laid on the driveway<br />

you said you liked the way it felt as it dried<br />

the way it got hard and tightened like armor<br />

I liked the way it looked<br />

you seemed 100 years old<br />

(and I believe you had the wisdom to match)<br />

with skin like the elephant, baked in God’s oven<br />

the African savanna<br />

we found the fountain of youth that day, too<br />

the green hose washed away our cracks and wrinkles<br />

but we were still wise<br />

we knew the meaning of life<br />

we traveled the world<br />

our castles were made from blankets<br />

and were still strong enough to keep out dragons<br />

a steep hill was the only rocket fuel we needed<br />

and a good pie would only cost two smooth stones<br />

54


evelina shakirova<br />

kazan, tatarstan, russia<br />

loneliness | photography<br />

55


nadia qari<br />

allendale, new jersey, usa<br />

dubAI<br />

If mangos suddenly started to grow on these big metal pillars in the airport<br />

and thick grape vines wrapped all over the doors and signs<br />

and there were red birds sitting on every newsstand;<br />

everyone’s phones were oddly replaced with green and yellow bananas −<br />

maybe the wrinkles on this city wouldn’t be so heavy.<br />

56


déla breyne<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

windmill | digital art<br />

57


deborah gravina<br />

allendale, new jersey, usa<br />

he breAKS Another bottle, I go for A WAlK<br />

White glass shatters differently than clear glass;<br />

clear glass scatters into tiny, invisible pieces,<br />

while white glass breaks into frosted chunks.<br />

A sword gets pulled out of a stone by a flimsy boy,<br />

and the girl made out of stone falls in love.<br />

Cows walk on just their two back feet when farmers aren’t looking.<br />

They play chess, and read novels on split tree trunks.<br />

Book discussions occur on Sundays.<br />

There’s a partridge in a pear tree by the bus stop where I wait<br />

for the sunset to drown arrogant trees<br />

and wonder what lies under the orange seam,<br />

and how exactly I can get there.<br />

58


paul edmondson<br />

carlisle, cumbria, uk<br />

present | pen ink drawing<br />

59


maria nelson<br />

helena, montana, usa<br />

eChoeS of AlexAndrIA<br />

I would have found you.<br />

Too-old and not-so-young and flame-flickers-nearer person. A<br />

mistake of the refractions of light. Superconductor. Misplaced<br />

moralities, realities, neutralities.<br />

Would you have heard me?<br />

Too-quiet and not-so-loud and<br />

purple-blue-any-color fingernails,<br />

person glowing in afternoon light.<br />

Reality that flickered with<br />

uncertainty and things that were<br />

never near and could never be<br />

reached.<br />

Walking away is so easy to do,<br />

easier still to walk away from you,<br />

to tell me and myself “I never really cared,” when caring is all that I hold,<br />

when the signs I used to read in the sky can only tell me how wrong I<br />

was and have always been, how waterfalls cannot be made of fingers,<br />

how your eyes can never have brimmed with things nearer to life than<br />

tears.<br />

You can’t cross bridges without looking twice, without thinking of<br />

Billy Goat Gruff, without looking for demons under the bridges-youreally-will-never-cross.<br />

Umbrellas will keep the water off like raven’s<br />

wings, but you’ll never know the warmth--as long as there’s no focus, or<br />

determination, or glow in your eyes (glows like you’re not-good-for-theenvironment<br />

bulbs) like mercury that broke in chemistry--silver rolling<br />

on the floor (sweetness that may never be broken). Your world is the<br />

same, and it’s always the one of falsehoods and “I’m all rights” and “it’s<br />

okays” and perfect faces, being perfect, burning memories to the ground,<br />

polishing silver in the dead and the heat of the night, pretending that<br />

there are prophesies written on the mountains outside your front door.<br />

It’s a total lie that I’m telling myself, that the world is, was, real and<br />

that I ever knew that colors danced in the northern sky, that colors<br />

danced in the crowded gym of drunks and adolescents (was there a<br />

difference?), that colors danced on the beach on the day the sun<br />

drowned. Who saved the sun? Nobody. So who was there to save you?<br />

60<br />

When the signs I used to read<br />

in the sky can only tell me how<br />

wrong I was and have always<br />

been, how waterfalls cannot be<br />

made of fingers, how your eyes<br />

can never have brimmed with<br />

things nearer to life than tears.


Who indeed. The sun had already died, and we could not see to find you.<br />

Perhaps that’s the end then? That you seclude yourself in yourself, that is<br />

to say the yourself that you will never show.<br />

You’ve never seen your own beauty, painted in paints of every color<br />

imaginable, paints that bleed out in the water, swirl against silver then<br />

drown in the sun. You know themes of madness painted in hues<br />

unimaginable and you’ve never seen my eyes to touch the themes I hold.<br />

Chinese food-corset-quetzal-Buddha girl lost in the smokes of divinities,<br />

You’ve never seen your own<br />

beauty, painted in paints of<br />

every color imaginable,<br />

paints that bleed out in the<br />

water, swirl against silver<br />

then drown in the sun.<br />

incenses and distillations of<br />

never-really-happened dreams.<br />

Keep loving your love that has<br />

never loved you, in the way that<br />

friends could love you more, in<br />

the way that a simple flower may<br />

conceal grandeurs greater than<br />

known in Xanadu, that place<br />

you and us and we and they and<br />

everyone may never see, and will never see. Starbursts of color flashed<br />

before your eyes, you saw your soul given up to eternity hundreds upon<br />

hundreds of times but you never saw the realities of those visions, and<br />

with every foretelling you etched that<br />

writing deeper, gave of yourself further, fell into madness faster.<br />

And faster faster faster faster faster.<br />

Now there is nothing left. Do I have to be with you to know you in the<br />

ways I never really knew you, or can I see the end of your final memoirs<br />

in the light behind your eyes, the lack thereof and the blue thereof. Short<br />

white dresses, chunky orange shoes and camouflage jackets that you cast<br />

away as you cast away yourself in the ways that you are not seen and<br />

cannot be seen, and the veils that swirled to the floor when you danced.<br />

Nothing left. Because the soul dies a slow death, and you have to only<br />

stoke the fire, higher and higher, until it is so great that the very ghost<br />

of the sun has been extinguished and you no longer see into the eyes of<br />

those who once cared, cared beyond imagining and beyond hope, cared<br />

for and about you until they were left after the storm, trampled into the<br />

pavement like petunias secluded in their terra-cotta pots.<br />

Ensconced in gold, you’re a nightingale of the river, ragged and<br />

tousled with fading gold plumage, nearly white with harsh and flashing<br />

lights.<br />

I would have found you.<br />

I would have walked through the snow you threw to blind the<br />

heaven’s eyes, but I could not see through the shield of yourself, and<br />

now there is left only adjectives to describe you: just a little too mad for<br />

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a world of sanity, lonely beyond imagining beyond feeling beyond hope,<br />

hopeful beyond the abilities of children whose huge eyes pierce through<br />

paper to enter the hearts of those who never knew a thing at all of<br />

starvation or deprivation or need.<br />

I cannot be what you need. I<br />

fear nobody can. I fear the wolves<br />

at the door who howl for your<br />

soul and your health and your<br />

heart, the wolves you go with and<br />

dance with and burn with and<br />

twirl with. So twirl, twirl through<br />

whatever you ever knew. Twirl<br />

past those who once knew you.<br />

I know you are losing control. I know you are losing me, and you<br />

never even held me with your soaked, pale fingers. I know I am losing<br />

you and I never really had you, I never really knew your beliefs.<br />

So now what are we left with? The ones who would know you and<br />

care for you; the ones you push and rail against and tear with your<br />

sharpened words.<br />

We are left with an echo in the corners of minds that dreams and<br />

hopes will never fill; an echo in those parts of our minds reserved for<br />

ideas and imaginings of what you had the potential to be. And that’s an<br />

echo of a name you never became, and a dream that you never believed.<br />

Destruction is the echo that rebounds within our minds; fires, like the<br />

ones to ravage your namesake, to destroy that knowledge of all the<br />

knowledge carefully destroyed by the ramblings in the dark, by the slots<br />

in your sunglasses, by the kites you speak of when you are lost to us and<br />

you speak of nothing else.<br />

You are lost to us,<br />

you and your echoes of Alexandria.<br />

62<br />

Hopeful beyond the abilities<br />

of children whose huge eyes<br />

pierce through paper to enter<br />

the hearts of those who never<br />

knew a thing at all of starvation<br />

or deprivation or need.


gabriela otero<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

killing beauty | traditional photography<br />

63


natasha joyce weidner<br />

san francisco, california, usa<br />

ConverSAtIonS About love<br />

1.<br />

Graham sells<br />

lavender and strawberries<br />

at the farmer’s market.<br />

One day he told me<br />

he planned to drive<br />

a diesel-powered RV<br />

through all the national parks<br />

because that was his dream<br />

and dreams<br />

are the best plans.<br />

I replied,<br />

my heart is a silent<br />

redwood forest,<br />

growing upwards in my chest.<br />

And I don’t know what it wants.<br />

2.<br />

Why am I not in love?<br />

I asked Naomi.<br />

I mean, I might be<br />

a tender nectarine<br />

almost past ripeness.<br />

Natasha, she said,<br />

your skin is not the limit<br />

of your self.<br />

There is love<br />

in other places.<br />

You are inhaling it.<br />

You are growing it<br />

in your garden.<br />

The two of us<br />

proceeded to make calzone<br />

in the warm<br />

pink shell<br />

of our home,<br />

while outside,<br />

cold rain fell<br />

fondly<br />

on the welcoming black earth.<br />

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3.<br />

When my grandma asked<br />

what she should buy me<br />

for Christmas<br />

I said,<br />

how about<br />

a cowboy<br />

on the back of<br />

a horse<br />

riding endlessly over<br />

a flat country<br />

so I can hold on to him<br />

and let myself be carried<br />

in pouring sunshine and under<br />

full moons and through<br />

flat fields of wheat?<br />

To which she replied,<br />

that is not a thing.<br />

I want you to ask me<br />

for a real thing.<br />

4.<br />

I have been told<br />

the ocean is dangerous.<br />

I have been told<br />

to balance carefully on the shore<br />

in pretty, airtight shoes.<br />

But I have also<br />

dived off a fishing pier<br />

to feel my skin shrink<br />

against my bones<br />

and let the salt settle<br />

in my lashes<br />

and let my blood<br />

race bluely through<br />

its riverbeds.<br />

In conclusion, I have<br />

the white foam in my hair.<br />

I have<br />

the curling current in my stomach.<br />

I refuse to fear anything<br />

I do not understand.<br />

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5.<br />

I am putting myself<br />

in the cold blue light<br />

of my kitchen,<br />

near the teapot.<br />

No one is in the house;<br />

the ground outside<br />

is green and swollen<br />

from rain.<br />

I am putting myself<br />

into the bed<br />

of a pickup truck<br />

on a Hawaiian highway.<br />

In a jar<br />

of honey,<br />

slow and golden.<br />

In a tidepool.<br />

Where I really am<br />

is unmentionable;<br />

let us only say<br />

I am curled behind a desk,<br />

cold-boned and meek.<br />

Naomi<br />

sits at the desk<br />

in front of me.<br />

To the back of her head<br />

I whisper,<br />

I am putting myself<br />

on the hot slats of the pier<br />

where we once lay<br />

our wet bodies<br />

and grew golden watching<br />

the dudes<br />

ride their bicycles into<br />

Lake Tahoe.<br />

She says,<br />

You are so fortunate;<br />

you are in the exquisite condition<br />

of desiring.<br />

66


chase hoag<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

i wish | digital photography<br />

67


kelsie corriston<br />

ho-ho-kus, new jersey, usa<br />

SPeeCh<br />

When I was a child I lost<br />

my r’s, th’s, sh’s,<br />

and so my tongue hung<br />

loose inside, as I spoke too fast<br />

in a British accent –<br />

or so they told me –<br />

and walked the halls<br />

with lips that would laugh<br />

but not speak or sew sounds–<br />

and so I molded my tongue,<br />

tight into a boat,<br />

the way I’d squeeze my fists<br />

to catch the R-AIN off my hair,<br />

in TH-E SH-OWE-R<br />

in which I scrubbed off the DI-R-T,<br />

because I couldn’t pronounce it<br />

or count the days that passed<br />

like SH-EEP<br />

as flashcards whipped<br />

and tore me from first grade math<br />

to play a game of Chutes and Ladders,<br />

neither of which I could say<br />

and not spray,<br />

or even say at all –<br />

say car, say race, say the, say them, say they<br />

who I make crave to lack what I lost<br />

on the roof of my mouth, in the hole in my tongue,<br />

in between my loose lips<br />

that they say couldn’t keep a secret,<br />

but what could I tell<br />

with no verbal coordination<br />

to SH-A-R-E a R-UMO-R<br />

but what if I could, what if the tale<br />

I heard could be spun<br />

without the forbidden consonants –<br />

if you were allergic to strawberries,<br />

and left alone,<br />

would you squeeze the squishy juice<br />

68


on your tongue<br />

to not taste but to feel<br />

the forbidden motion<br />

that must be good<br />

like the way my tongue learned<br />

to lift itself<br />

and touch the roof of my mouth,<br />

sculpt around a word<br />

that I can feel<br />

now and forever<br />

I keep my consonants close and ask<br />

shoot, car, race, the, they, them<br />

Listen –<br />

did<br />

I<br />

stutter?<br />

69


iida lehtinen<br />

sauvo, finland<br />

the 4 o’clock tea at covent garden, london | traditional black and white photography<br />

70<br />

Lee Nye Photography A w a r d W i n n e r


emma lucy bay pimentel<br />

jacksonville, florida, usa<br />

Norman Maclean Nonfiction A w a r d W i n n e r<br />

dreSSed In nAvy blue<br />

Thirteen long years of frittered experience and unrequited kindnesses<br />

had unraveled themselves behind me when I met Jane-Ann and was<br />

introduced to her cause. We had recently moved for the fifth time in my<br />

life, to the third continent I’d ever been on. Having sneaked past<br />

calculating Sudanese officials in<br />

Jane-Ann was a sweet little<br />

lady in her forties, who had<br />

devoted her life and her own<br />

personal farm to what she<br />

called “hippotherapy.” Two<br />

days a week, children from<br />

underfunded hospitals enjoyed<br />

the open air, horse riding,<br />

and the love the volunteers<br />

showered upon them.<br />

Cairo who had denied us visas, we<br />

somehow managed to gain access<br />

(after, that is, quite a bit of money<br />

had changed hands) to a smelly<br />

airplane destined for Khartoum’s<br />

diminutive, three-gate airport. It<br />

was summer, hot and dry in the<br />

Sahara desert, and we had covered<br />

most of our bodies in deference to<br />

Sudanese culture. It was<br />

sweltering. Yet in the early hours<br />

of dawn that first morning before<br />

the sun had hit the peak of its<br />

arch, when the whole world seemed<br />

so bright that even shadows could find no place to skulk, we got up and<br />

walked down dusty dirt roads and under parched palm trees to Jane-<br />

Ann’s. Jane-Ann was a sweet little lady in her forties, who had devoted<br />

her life and her own personal farm to what she called “hippotherapy.”<br />

Two days a week, children from underfunded hospitals enjoyed the open<br />

air, horse riding, and the love the volunteers showered upon them.<br />

I remember most the tortured appearance of the children. Most were<br />

diseased, and many were missing body parts. They lacked even the will<br />

to brush away the flies that whined around their ivory eyes and rested<br />

on their bristly hair. These children were silent, terribly silent, empty<br />

shells next to my rambunctious two-year-old sister. They sat, a few<br />

crying softly, but none expected comfort. On my first visit, the disgust<br />

and horror of the sight nearly overcame me. I looked around and saw<br />

innocent children in pain, helpless children hurting, undersized infants<br />

who did not know affection. I had absolutely no idea what to do; such a<br />

sight was so far beyond my ken that I found my heart beating out a<br />

solemn rebellion against its very existence. Jane-Ann saw me at a loss<br />

71


and placed a reassuring hand on my trembling shoulder. “Just pick them<br />

up and love them,” she said with an encouraging smile. “Just pick them<br />

up and love them.”<br />

Gathering the tattered shreds of my spirit, I nodded and scooped up<br />

the nearest child, a faintly whining<br />

little boy, dressed nearly in rags, ribs<br />

protruding from his stained, navy blue<br />

shirt. He fastened to me like a barnacle,<br />

his tears and mucus running together and<br />

soaking through the sleeve of my white<br />

shirt, coating my shoulder with a thin,<br />

liquidy goo. I held on though, rocking and<br />

soothing and crooning simple songs. It<br />

was as if I had finally grown into myself.<br />

A fullness enlivened my spirit, and I felt<br />

a completeness that I had never before<br />

experienced. I knew that these children needed me. I looked around at<br />

the tiny, underdeveloped boys and girls. Most of them were destined for<br />

an early death. Others would be hurt and abused beyond comprehension.<br />

But, in that moment, I was helping them, and perhaps just a few would<br />

be bolstered by the memory of a strange, pale-skinned girl who had held<br />

them in her arms and sang to them in a language they could not<br />

comprehend.<br />

A haboob roared its thunderous way to our sanctuary one day, and we<br />

all clustered on the reed mats under the makeshift shelter of old, patched<br />

tarps and bent metal poles. Dust storms, or haboobs, are common in<br />

Sudan, the fierce wind stirring up the brown-orange dust that coats the<br />

entire country and whipping the sky a dirty orange. Breathe too deeply<br />

in a strong haboob, and the dust will rob your throat of liquid coating<br />

and close off your voice for a week. The dust tears at your eyes, invisible<br />

but present, suspended in the air as if part of some giant science project.<br />

The children showed no reaction to the change, pale ghosts haunting<br />

their deserted eyes as if they were cemeteries, already losing their faith<br />

in life. Jane-Ann fretted, though not about the storm, instead worried<br />

that they would not have the emotional release we usually provided in<br />

the form of small trips on horseback. Every week, the gentle, long-haired<br />

horses trotted obediently over hoof-hardened dirt, past the<br />

multi-colored, wheel-less, decrepit remains of a minibus and over the<br />

single patch of yellow grass that still waved under the dehydrated gusts<br />

of air that swept mournfully across the desert. I was at home here,<br />

though the sun beat at my back and the dust cloaked my form. I found<br />

children who needed me, and for the first time I realized how much I<br />

needed what they taught me about love.<br />

72<br />

It was as if I had finally<br />

grown into myself. A<br />

fullness enlivened my<br />

spirit, and I felt a<br />

completeness that I had<br />

never before experienced.<br />

I knew that these<br />

children needed me.


Often I wondered what sort of parents would abandon their child to<br />

a terrible life such as I was seeing. I knew the children were maltreated<br />

and starved. I knew that there simply were not enough hospitals to<br />

support the demand of the community, and not enough orphanage<br />

workers to give the basic emotional support every young child needs. It<br />

was not self-righteousness that spurred me, but the stirrings of a perfect<br />

sorrow that<br />

convinced me to<br />

help these<br />

children. I<br />

always had the<br />

choice. No one<br />

dragged me<br />

out of bed each<br />

morning, forced<br />

me to travel<br />

mile after mile<br />

to the deserted,<br />

harvestless farm<br />

and teach these<br />

children<br />

humanity. Yet<br />

twice a week all<br />

that summer I<br />

found that I was<br />

awake, dressed<br />

and aching to<br />

aid the poor<br />

unfortunate<br />

souls, my<br />

spiritual<br />

brothers and<br />

sisters who had<br />

no parents to<br />

hippotherapy | traditional black and white photography<br />

love them, no<br />

relatives to raise<br />

them, no friends<br />

to accept them. I knew that Fate could just as well have chosen me to<br />

be in their place, all the sparkle of youthfulness drained by a childhood<br />

that was not childhood but a life of misery and pain and little chance of<br />

survival.<br />

I learned more about love and humankind that summer than I ever<br />

have before or since. It was a rude awakening, a cruel reminder that<br />

73


privilege is not universal. A few months later, a Sudanese friend of mine<br />

was questioned about his opinion of Sudan’s overall state of being. He<br />

responded in honest belief, his wealthy head resting on hands the exact<br />

same shade as those of the orphans, “Everyone in Sudan is rich.” I saw<br />

then the ignorance of humankind, the denial we entertain despite the<br />

obvious suffering surrounding us. Before that moment, I had not noticed<br />

the maturing effect hippotherapy had on me. No other experience<br />

I learned more about<br />

love and humankind that<br />

summer than I ever have<br />

before or since.<br />

74<br />

could have taken me past that awkward<br />

phase of life characterized by extreme<br />

embarrassment and self-consciousness<br />

than this. Those children taught me that<br />

self-actualization comes only through<br />

others. I can never again be satisfied<br />

with my own accomplishments but with<br />

generosity and the way I affect the lives of others. I want to be a savior to<br />

a people who have never before understood deliverance. I want to show<br />

them the goodness of a human heart and most of all I want to see these<br />

children, young and silent, almost inhuman in self-perception, become<br />

the backbone of their land, the strength of their country and the pride of<br />

their own lives.


IntervIeW mAy 2009<br />

emma lucy bay pimentel<br />

jacksonville, florida, usa<br />

We received Emma’s first submission early in February of this year.<br />

Like all of our submissions, her work sat in our filing cabinet while<br />

we prepared for our annual fund raiser. We finally started reading<br />

submissions on a quiet Sunday morning, each of us at a table with a<br />

stack of poems, fiction and nonfiction. I happened upon her poem which<br />

immediately set off my good-poem-sensor. After reading it, I flipped<br />

to her bio. All I could utter was an astonished “Woah...” I immediately<br />

wanted to know more about Emma’s childhood and about her travels. I<br />

hopped onto our email and fired off a few questions. A week later, the<br />

answers to my questions were waiting for me as well as the essay, “Navy<br />

Blue.” She described living in Bosnia and walking across a minefield.<br />

She talked about living in Cairo and about her favorite food, “Koshari.”<br />

She discussed being proud of her younger sister’s attempts to prevent<br />

malaria. Needless to say, her writing charmed us and her life beguiled<br />

us. We thought her story was important to include in the pages of our<br />

magazine. A few emails and a couple weeks later, this interview was<br />

aching to be read.<br />

-Katie DeGrandpre<br />

Editor of <strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

AI: Why did your parents decide to move to Bosnia when you were little? Do you<br />

remember feeling any specific way about the move? Once you were there, why did your<br />

family decide to move again to Romania and the Netherlands?<br />

ELP: At the age of seven I already considered myself a seasoned traveler:<br />

I had lived in three different states and visited relatives in a few others.<br />

Moving to Bosnia wasn’t a step I was quite prepared for, especially on such<br />

short notice, but, as a second grader and the fourth child, I didn’t have<br />

much say in it. My father was offered a short-term job he hadn’t applied for,<br />

assessing the needs of post-Communist courts in Bosnia, and our family<br />

packed up and moved out, leaving all of our furniture as well as our dog<br />

behind, the former in the care of a storage unit, the latter with relatives. At<br />

the time, we thought it was for just three months. It was a chaotic time for<br />

me – while excited to ride in an airplane and live overseas, I hated the idea<br />

of leaving my comfort zone. At that age, I hardly knew that Europe existed,<br />

75


and Bosnia itself seemed the equivalent of Narnia or Neverland to me. In the<br />

end, though, I decided that having a great experience to lord over my friends<br />

was worth it and promptly tried to pack all of my stuffed animals into my<br />

suitcase. By the time my father’s contract had extended to nine months,<br />

my whole family began craving the taste of travel, and job searches became<br />

more extensive, leading us to Bucharest, where my father worked with a<br />

nonprofit judicial reform organization, to the Netherlands, where he worked<br />

for the War Crimes Tribunal, and finally to Sudan, where he was with the<br />

United Nations Mission. My mother was a stay-at-home mom of four, then<br />

five, then six children. Of course, “stay-at-home” is not at all descriptive of<br />

her life, or ours, during these years.<br />

AI: How did you learn to speak the Bosnian language and languages like Arabic when<br />

you did not even have a teacher that could speak your language?<br />

ELP: Our family always hired local tutors who spoke English to teach us<br />

privately in our home, but that wasn’t necessarily where we learned the<br />

most. Bosnian was the language I learned best, maybe because I was so<br />

young and my mind was still close to the stage where it soaked up language<br />

and made it usable. A tutor came often to our house to teach my siblings<br />

and me nursery rhymes and short Bosnian songs, but mostly I learned out<br />

of necessity. I attended a Bosnian school with children too young to speak<br />

English (my older siblings at least had friends who spoke their language)<br />

and had to learn to understand my teacher, who knew little more. Day after<br />

day, arriving at school, the other children would practice their English on<br />

me. As we untied our tennis shoes to put on the slippers we wore inside<br />

the classroom they would ask me over and over again my name, my age,<br />

and my state of being. I would respond to their English questions with the<br />

few Bosnian words I knew and then the next child would arrive and I’d tell<br />

them again my name. There was one memorable moment when the class<br />

bully tried to blame one of her pranks on me. Incapable of responding to<br />

this accusation in a language my teacher understood, I repeated again and<br />

again “ne, ne, ne.” I think it was at that point that I decided I would become<br />

expert at the Bosnian language. A few weeks later, I realized that I knew the<br />

word for “sun,” without ever consciously learning it.<br />

Learning Arabic was a very different experience. I was much older, and<br />

I didn’t understand the Arabic alphabet and the sounds that accompanied<br />

each letter. My family bought a computer program designed to teach Arabic.<br />

I painstakingly memorized the name, sound, and shape of each letter, which<br />

I promptly forgot when I moved on to the next. I learned short words<br />

and phrases – how to say hello, how to introduce myself, and how to use<br />

numbers. These last were the most important, as I’d use them when buying<br />

produce from the outdoor food stalls that swarmed with flies. I learned that<br />

the most important thing in speaking Arabic was knowing their slang and<br />

76


their common sayings. My older sister, the language prodigy in the family,<br />

when buying bread, pronounced perfectly the side comment used often with<br />

greetings or farewells: the Arabic equivalent of “God bless you.” The man<br />

across the counter looked up in shock and proclaimed in quick, loud Arabic<br />

that she spoke better than his grandmother.<br />

AI: You recently mentioned becoming a part of wherever it was you were living. Have you<br />

taken a part of all the countries you’ve lived in with you? If so, how does this translate to<br />

your everyday life in the United States?<br />

ELP: While leaving America was hard, coming back was harder. I had<br />

shed that skin of stereotypes and generalizations that so frequently clothe<br />

the American race and understood more about other countries than about<br />

my own. Bosnia, for instance. left me with a stubborn paranoia of walking<br />

across open grass. My family had once walked inadvertently through a<br />

minefield, managing to make it back to safety by following a path my dad<br />

said he saw but which was invisible to my eyes, and the memory has stayed<br />

with me. The sense of adventure and success that comes with experiencing<br />

new things enfused my soul until it was more a part of me than my original<br />

patriotism. All the places I lived slipped memories into thin sockets along<br />

my flesh until I felt as if my skin was made of the dust storms of Khartoum,<br />

and my soggy clothes after a rainstorm seemed to be soaked by the drizzles<br />

of Holland and the icy puddles of Romania. When I taste a food, it recalls<br />

meals I’ve had overseas. When my family went to an Outback restaurant,<br />

we hung around outside chattering in a strange mixture of all the languages<br />

we knew and chortled internally when a man remarked in a Southern<br />

accent to his friend as they passed by us that he “thought it was Chinese<br />

or sumthin.’” To this day, I find myself using a phrase of Dutch or French<br />

in my conversations without realizing those around me won’t understand<br />

it. When I walk the streets I hear people chattering in English and my<br />

first impulse is to whip around and point them out to my family – we<br />

had become used to singling out Americans in crowds, as seeing other<br />

Americans in some places was very rare.<br />

AI: Why did you and your family decide to go to Africa?<br />

ELP: There’s a certain rite of passage within the United Nations: to<br />

spend at least a year in a “mission.” When my father got the opportunity to<br />

take the mission in Sudan, helping to structure the legal system of newlyautonomous<br />

South Sudan, he snapped it up. Africa was a place of great<br />

mystique to me. Even after having mental image after mental image smashed<br />

during my travels, I hung pig-headedly onto the vision I had of my family<br />

living in a tukul (a small round hut) in a small town stranded in the Saharan<br />

desert. Khartoum, of course, was nothing like that. We didn’t get to travel<br />

much within Africa but the time we spent in Egypt and in Kenya were great<br />

awakenings for me. Although our initial reasons for going to Sudan may<br />

77


have been purely job-oriented, its repercussions reached into every corner<br />

of my life and scraped it bare so it would have room to reshape my existence.<br />

AI: You mentioned riding a felucca down the Nile in your bio. What is a felucca and why/<br />

how did this occur?<br />

ELP: Feluccas are small sailboats that are frequently used as a tourist<br />

attraction in Cairo. My family took the opportunity when we were stuck<br />

there for nearly a month to visit the sites, and the Nile, of course, was one<br />

of them. We paid a small fee and a grinning Egyptian spun us away from<br />

shore. The river is beautiful there, reflecting the sky into itself and turning<br />

everything a rich, thick blue that looks like you can sink your teeth into it.<br />

It was a warm day, and the cool breeze was refreshing when the sail would<br />

whip around to catch the wind. It was a short ride, and not as majestic or<br />

awe-inspiring as the pyramids or the Sphinx, but it was a beautiful moment,<br />

one that has stuck with me over the years.<br />

AI: What is your favorite memory from living overseas?<br />

ELP: In Europe the countries are so close together that it is quite<br />

common to take a day trip to France or Germany. My family frequently<br />

took advantage of long weekends and empty Saturdays to explore the<br />

continent, and these travels often took us up in latitude. My father is a<br />

skier and insisted on taking the family skiing quite regularly. We may not<br />

be particularly proficient at it, but at least we enjoy it. Although it is hard<br />

to choose a favorite, one of the happiest moments of my life was also one of<br />

the simplest: a three-day skiing trip in the French Alps. We rented a tiny<br />

apartment (we needed one, to house my entire family), and we’d spend<br />

all day on the snow, crisp edges biting nicely against our skis. Soon after,<br />

we’d make the daily hike to the local boulangerie for fresh croissants and<br />

baguettes. It was a great family bonding time, and the hours we spent<br />

closeted in the apartment were so full of fun and joy and games I frequently<br />

felt as if I might have all the breath squeezed out of me. Despite the fact<br />

that I spend so much time with interesting people in interesting places<br />

doing interesting things, the best times of all were when we took the<br />

extraordinary qualities of a place into stride and enjoyed each other as a<br />

family.<br />

AI: You mentioned eating camel in your bio. How did you adjust to eating strange foods?<br />

What is the grossest food you ever ate? What was the tastiest food you ever ate?<br />

ELP: I have enjoyed a wide variety of food from my travels, including<br />

certain ethnic meals besides the typical fried squid rings and alligator.<br />

Eating other foods has never really bothered me; I have always been able to<br />

stomach everything I’m given and find its good qualities to focus on. There<br />

are only two exceptions to the rule, both of which may be surprising in their<br />

simplicity. The first is cevapi, a small sausage served with pita bread, onions,<br />

78


and a thin yoghurt-like drink. The rest of my family adored the cevapi, and<br />

ordered it often in restaurants. When that happened, I would take a tomato<br />

salad and pick at my fresh mozzarella while my family dug into their meat.<br />

The other exception is an unnamed stuffed pepper that was served to me<br />

when my family was having dinner with our landlady. Having been raised to<br />

eat everything on my plate, I managed to get the entire, spicy, painful pepper<br />

down my throat. Seeing I had finished, I was promptly furnished with a<br />

second. Needless to say, I ignored the eat-all rule and didn’t touch that one.<br />

Visiting a Parisian café, no one in my family could pass up the chance<br />

when we noticed escargot on the menu. It came in a circular orange<br />

container dotted periodically with holes. In each a snail floated in garlic<br />

sauce. Except for a certain chewiness, they were delicious, and are by far<br />

both the most outlandish and the most delicious meal I had overseas. Of<br />

course, I may have been predisposed toward adventurous eating. When we<br />

lived in Louisiana before going abroad, I, at the age of six, was one of the<br />

few in the family who took to raw oysters with horseradish and Tabasco. It<br />

was a point of pride with me that I had managed to down six or so in a row<br />

when grown men beside me couldn’t swallow a single one. I suppose the<br />

snails may have reminded me of shucking and sucking raw oysters down on<br />

the bayou.<br />

AI: In reading your non fiction piece, “Navy Blue,” some of us had feelings of guilt for<br />

being unaware of other people’s suffering or of being born privileged. Do you deal with<br />

guilt on a daily basis? When you returned from your travels back to the U.S. were there<br />

any overwhelming feelings that existed for you?<br />

ELP: Living in war zones was by far the most unsettling thing I have had<br />

to do. As I mentioned before, I attended a Bosnian school for a few hours<br />

every day as a second grader. To get to school, I’d go down our street, notice<br />

the bullet holes in our wall, cross a Sarajevo rose or two (the imprints of a<br />

mortar shell explosion that was later filled in with a red paint or resin as a<br />

memorial) and pass the remains of a bombed building. My family walked<br />

through the tunnels that the Bosnians dug in order to receive supplies when<br />

they were under siege, and returned home to listen to our landlady tell us<br />

stories of going down that tunnel nine times, each time loaded down with<br />

50 kilos (110 lbs) of basic survival supplies on her back..<br />

In Sudan it was even more direct. All around me I saw beggars in<br />

the street, people making do with nothing. My brother always tried to<br />

give money to every person he saw was in need, but when we moved to<br />

Khartoum, if he took out a coin he had twenty children under the age of<br />

eight clinging to his pant legs, pleading with him for food. Walking home<br />

from school, we’d kick dust up into our eyes, pass a monkey tied to the<br />

stunted palm tree across the street, and wave the flies away as we entered<br />

the yard. We bowed our heads while we entered because soon after we<br />

79


moved in there was a death in the landlord’s family and a several-day-long<br />

funeral was being held in the front yard. We’d step out onto the balcony<br />

and hear the women keening below us, decrepit buses trundling past on one<br />

of the only paved roads in the city, and the squabbling of shirtless children<br />

from around the corner.<br />

That was part of the reason that moving back to the United States was<br />

so difficult for me. I could not believe the smug indifference of the people<br />

around me. It felt unnatural to walk into a sterile supermarket because no<br />

disease-carrying insects swarmed around the produce. I tried not to breathe<br />

when I crossed the road because I was used to inhaling sand if I did, and I<br />

hated that there was nothing to worry about but gas fumes. There is always<br />

that something that reminds me how forgetful we as humans are, and how<br />

uncaring. After a couple of years back in the U.S. I find myself lapsing into<br />

that complacency, and I have to remind myself to care about the things that<br />

happen around me, whether or not I can do something about it, whether or<br />

not it affects me. I like to think that that is the reason that the human race is<br />

dominant in the world – not because we were smarter, or fitter, or stronger<br />

—because we knew how to care for each other. Ignoring those who suffer—<br />

worse, blaming the poor, the illiterate, the immigrant, for their problems—is<br />

so offensive, yet so easy in the typical American life of ease and privilege<br />

(and believe me, the poorest of Americans is highly privileged compared to<br />

the Sudanese). I refuse to believe that we can so easily forget to love and<br />

protect the people around us.<br />

AI; Why is writing special to you? What do you get from writing poetry and non-fiction?<br />

ELP: I was five years old when I got my first cello. It was an eighth size,<br />

barely bigger than a viola. I played for nearly ten years, every year improving<br />

and beginning to put more of myself into it. I found that when I was upset,<br />

I could play a slow, mellow song on my cello and restore peace and order<br />

to my world. I was in fourth grade when I complemented my music with a<br />

second art. My teacher told me I could write, so I did. I wrote all the time.<br />

Now I can find that same peace by writing a melancholy poem or a sad<br />

scene in whatever narrative I’m currently focusing on. Of course, I was a<br />

storyteller even before I was a writer – with myself as my only audience.<br />

As long as I can remember, I’ve told myself the story of my life in my head<br />

while it happened. I’d make myself a peanut butter sandwich, and through<br />

my head would come the narrative: “Emma Lucy made herself a peanut<br />

butter sandwich, with just a little too much peanut butter because she likes<br />

it that way.” Writing lets me take my emotions and those thoughts and<br />

express them so that I can learn to understand what I’m trying to say. In the<br />

end, I suppose it’s little more than basic instinct: a survival technique on a<br />

raw, caveman level, a level that insists I recognize what my being tries to<br />

express, When my stomach snarls at me, I eat. When my throat scratches<br />

80


me, I drink. When my brain turns into a slushy pudding of mixed emotions,<br />

I write.<br />

AI: Do you have any advice to give to students who wish to travel?<br />

ELP: To students who wish to travel, I say enjoy yourself. If you’re<br />

hankering after museums and tourist sites, by all means follow the crowd up<br />

to the Louvre or Stonehenge. As a traveler, however, I like to venture off the<br />

beaten path, actively seeking an encounter with the culture. I like the rural<br />

and suburban areas. Instead of taking the Sound of Music Tour in Austria,<br />

I wandered through a neighborhood and walked along the river. When<br />

visiting the tiny fishing villages of Cinqueterre, I enjoyed the scenic hike<br />

that sweating tourists swarmed along, but I loved sitting in the middle of<br />

the town square and watching the little children from a local school conduct<br />

their Carnavale parade. Do what you will enjoy, but don’t cheat yourself of<br />

the real country. There is more to France than Paris, and there is more to<br />

Paris than the Eiffel Tower.<br />

AI: What is one thing that traveling has taught you about the world?<br />

ELP: The world is going to look after itself. Whatever we do, the world<br />

will straighten itself out. What is important is not saving the world, but<br />

saving ourselves. When you see a recycle bin, throw your Coke bottle in<br />

there, not because it will save the environment, but because it’s one step<br />

closer to you getting where you want to go, to being who you want to be.<br />

Traveling, I’ve seen third world countries and I’ve seen the world powers,<br />

and, from what I can tell, the main difference is the kind of humans that live<br />

in them. Of course, there are other factors. There’s technology availability,<br />

and resources, and all of the history book answers that will get you a five on<br />

your AP. But beyond that, there is something with human nature that makes<br />

us want to improve, and the best way to improve ourselves is to improve the<br />

things around us.<br />

81


daniel alexander gross<br />

long beach, california, usa<br />

greenWorld #1<br />

There is this place I know,<br />

he tells me, where<br />

you tread on tree roots,<br />

not concrete,<br />

and you count flowers,<br />

not miles,<br />

not dollars.<br />

In my eyes<br />

he reads my curiosity.<br />

It lives on love,<br />

he says.<br />

The words you speak there<br />

are pure poetry.<br />

There is something magic<br />

in the landscape.<br />

A tender canopy,<br />

a green glass sphere,<br />

where the delicate form<br />

of the pain you cradle<br />

falls from your shoulder,<br />

and you are encircled –<br />

not by walls,<br />

but by branches.<br />

I know this place,<br />

I say, though<br />

I don’t know where it is.<br />

Well,<br />

he tells me,<br />

you can find it<br />

on midsummer’s night,<br />

among the fairies<br />

and the fireflies,<br />

or, he says,<br />

you can find it<br />

riding a bicycle<br />

to a far-off horizon,<br />

with a pretty girl<br />

and a weightless heart.<br />

82


erin eifler<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

a midsummer night’s dream | traditional black and white photography<br />

83


melanie brown<br />

centennial, colorado, usa<br />

An ImmIgrAnt’S guIde to ColorAdo<br />

I was promised horses. I remember this distinctly.<br />

My dad knew as well as I that moving isn’t easy, especially to a place<br />

so very far away, so he would cushion it with promises such as these.<br />

Thoughts of horses and mountain ranches made the process of tearing<br />

away from my homeland all that<br />

more bearable, so I complied. My<br />

visions were of a log cabin situated<br />

on the hips of the foothills, with<br />

gentle mares that would lean their<br />

heads in my window in the heat of<br />

summer mornings. Of dirt roads<br />

and tractors, of cattle and barbed<br />

wire. But mostly horses, of course.<br />

Colorado is not all horses and<br />

ranches. Our house turned out to squat in a quiet patch of suburb that<br />

seems a subtle copy of the very neighborhood from which I had come.<br />

It is a pale ivory and not made of logs, and the grass lives in trim, green<br />

patches like quilt squares, not in long stalks that whisper to my elbows.<br />

And the mountains? Well, I see them. They loom in the distance like<br />

storm clouds held forever at bay. They are dark and brooding as they<br />

sit there, their tips just visible above the houses in front of ours, and I<br />

wonder daily if they might be up to something.<br />

There are no horses in suburbia. As I dreamed on our migration west<br />

of this new home, my head vibrating against the window as plain after<br />

great plain slid by, I could see horses trotting even through<br />

neighborhoods, even through towns and cities. I imagined taking my<br />

gelding to school to pick up groceries. Who needed a license when I<br />

could ride The Black Stallion, Strider, Trigger? Hell, even Mister Ed<br />

would have worked. But there were no horses, no such luck. It was not<br />

the Colorado I was promised. The wilderness, the cowboys, the romance<br />

of wind and weather—where were they? The rivers of concrete, the<br />

herds of houses and brittle street lamps had herded them off, perhaps<br />

into the folds of mountain. Beyond my sight, in any case. I received a<br />

bundle of letters from my old Girl Scout Troup asking what I had named<br />

my horse, what color it was, how fast it went; they had been well<br />

84<br />

My visions were of a log<br />

cabin situated on the hips<br />

of the foothills, with gentle<br />

mares that would lean their<br />

heads in my window in the<br />

heat of summer mornings.


informed of my fevered excitement. I didn’t write back.<br />

Clouds hang in the sky with that awkward presence of not belonging<br />

and knowing it. They have stretched themselves at breaking points into<br />

feathers. You always expect the sunlight to burn them away, but it can<br />

never succeed. They have been prophesized by farmers and weathermen<br />

to always drift in feathery complacency from sky to bleached-blue sky.<br />

If I press my cheek against my window and look to the side, I can see<br />

Denver hunched in the distance, stewing in the crowd of brown smog<br />

that sticks to the tips of building tops. We have two great pine trees<br />

in our backyard, and I used to climb up and whisper to them that they<br />

might perhaps work harder to make the air clean, because the brown is<br />

rather ugly.<br />

And yet… There are no horses, no ranches, no cowboys or ragged cliffs<br />

on my way to school, no romance of logs and tumbleweeds and wolves<br />

like smoke, but that does not mean that the wild has not found its way<br />

into my home.<br />

We have two great pine<br />

trees in our backyard, and I<br />

used to climb up and whisper<br />

to them that they might<br />

perhaps work harder to<br />

make the air clean, because<br />

the brown is rather ugly.<br />

In winter, when the snow<br />

gathers the nerve to crawl in<br />

battleship clouds from their roosts<br />

in the mountains and blast at our<br />

houses, I can feel the warmth and<br />

rush of nature pressing flush against<br />

my bones. It drifts and packs<br />

against the deadened blades of grass<br />

and concrete rivers so that one<br />

cannot discern what is of man<br />

and what is of nature, what has been poured from trucks and what has<br />

crawled up through the dirt. Some days, when I am alone in my<br />

beautiful beast of a car, I pick up speed and grind the brakes so I slide<br />

along the snow-packed road just to surrender to the power of ice and<br />

snow for a handful of small moments. Come spring, when the wind<br />

begins to get a hold on its fury and sends jet streams and gales to gasp<br />

and roar between houses, and I lean into them like the arms of a lover. It<br />

streaks in from the plains and yanks at my hair, my jacket, howling in my<br />

hears that I am small and unaware of most things. By the time summer<br />

rolls over and up against the mountains, the ice has melted away from<br />

the street, leaving gouges in the asphalt that bounce us out of our seats<br />

and test the reliability of seat belts. On one hotter day, I spent a whole<br />

three hours at a friend’s house watching a mother hawk find food for her<br />

children, and the bear sightings get closer and closer with each summer.<br />

When fall reasserts herself, she grips flaming fingers around the land<br />

and washes saplings and giants in reds and yellows. On mornings, it<br />

85


is not cool, but bitter and invasive of even the finest, state-of-the-art<br />

coats. These seasons crash together, quarreling over whose time it is to<br />

go, fleeting by and bleeding together with all the beauty and violence of<br />

time, all the wild rush of horses.<br />

And that is how my people and I live, in this balance of nature and<br />

man, of summer and winter, of wilderness and<br />

the cool calm of suburbia. We will never<br />

stop trying to do our righteous battle with<br />

the miraculous aspen saplings that find their<br />

ways into the creases of sidewalks, with the<br />

snow that pays no heed to grass or street,<br />

with deer that pace in and taste at the leaves<br />

of rose bushes. We push Nature, and she<br />

pushes us, and we hang there together,<br />

suspended and whole in conflict and unity.<br />

There are few horses here. But I think I will ride out my life between<br />

mountains and city just as well, watching the wilderness trickle through<br />

the concrete cracks.<br />

86<br />

We push Nature,<br />

and she pushes us,<br />

and we hang there<br />

together, suspended<br />

and whole in<br />

conflict and unity.


sumi selvaraj<br />

lilburn, georgia, usa<br />

if only | digital photography<br />

87


wynne hungerford<br />

greenville, south carolina, usa<br />

CAretAKer<br />

My grandfather’s afterthoughts are slung over the fence, his damp<br />

laundry forgotten<br />

as he begins to plant another crop of Japanese Maples behind his house.<br />

Using rusted<br />

tools, he turns the earth again and again. Splinters from the shovel's<br />

handle burrow<br />

deep into his skin and no amount of plucking retracts them. That's just<br />

how stubborn<br />

some things can be. He tells time by the amount of sweat soaked into his<br />

shirt<br />

and the shape it takes. A ring around the collar is mid-morning, a<br />

triangle suction-cupped<br />

to his back marks noon, and winged stains wrapping around his body<br />

like birthmarks<br />

signify quitting time—that hour when things are left in places they don't<br />

belong,<br />

shoes under the porch, sun behind the curve of the earth's back and<br />

shovel on the dining room<br />

table beside tarnished heirlooms. Loose dirt falls into a pyramid on a lace<br />

placemat<br />

that his mother once adored, yellow stains where perfume rubbed off<br />

her wrists still<br />

reeking generations later. Because of his refusal to prick blisters bulging<br />

on the pads<br />

of his fingers, my grandfather wakes before dawn to pray for calluses,<br />

nourished roots,<br />

and light frost, tipping his hat to enemies. He spends hours dousing each<br />

plant to its<br />

88<br />

Richard Hugo Poetry A w a r d W i n n e r


temporary content with a snake-hose writhing in his grasp, and learns<br />

hydration is a rumor,<br />

how twilight colored saplings can be heard gulping insatiably, not a<br />

phase grown out of,<br />

but into. I wonder if he waters the plants or drowns them, how easy it<br />

would be<br />

to deceive the trust between root and rain, how all caretakers are merely<br />

proof of<br />

another thing's existence. Rebelling against gravity in perfect rows, the<br />

comrades sprout,<br />

lurch, and shake their leafy fists, nature never content with the length of<br />

its own neck.<br />

rachel cin<br />

lawrence, kansas, usa<br />

delicate life | traditional photography<br />

89


annie chang<br />

norman, oklahoma, usa<br />

the mIlKmAn<br />

Mom and I were at Wal-Mart, otherwise known as an Asian woman’s<br />

paradise. It was just another one of those lazy days during which I had<br />

nothing better to do than to shop for groceries with my mother. As<br />

always, her inherent money-saving skills had brought us to the<br />

Wal-Mart on Interstate Drive. “Their selection is better,” she would say.<br />

Mom had heard from Oprah and Dr. Oz that soy milk was better for<br />

one’s health than regular milk, and was therefore convinced that the<br />

Chang household should only drink soy milk in order to stay cancer-free.<br />

I, for one, could not stand its taste. So, when we approached the milk<br />

cooler, I decided to put up a fight.<br />

“What are you doing? Grab the vanilla soy milk. No, not that one. The<br />

soy milk,” Mom persisted.<br />

“Mom, no. I refuse. I refuse to drink that stuff. It is disgusting,” I<br />

snapped from the open cooler door, grabbing a glorious and<br />

much-desired half-gallon of two-percent.<br />

“Annie Chang, you put that milk right back where you got it. We only<br />

drink soy milk now.” She continued to rattle on about its many health<br />

benefits, and then we began to bicker at a level that only a Chinese<br />

mother and daughter can, in a noisy “Chenglish” spat. Middle-aged<br />

passersby glanced at us and nodded in sympathy for my mother.<br />

It was after a few minutes of arguing with my mother that I began<br />

to hear snickering behind me. Fearing that the milk had suddenly come<br />

alive, I whipped around to find there was someone behind the shelves of<br />

milk, on the other side. He was struggling to stifle his laughing while he<br />

loaded cartons of chocolate milk onto their shelves.<br />

I was absolutely appalled at this gentleman’s eavesdropping and<br />

had half a mind to tell him so but then realized that he was not terribly<br />

unfortunate-looking at all, and probably not too much older than I was.<br />

Milk Guy looked me in the eyes and smiled. His teeth gleamed with<br />

an impenetrable whiteness that I could only guess came from the strong<br />

calcium found in milk. My heart burned with an immediate and<br />

undying love for him. Never mind the fact that he worked at Wal-Mart<br />

and I didn’t know his first name. These things would all be worked out<br />

during our three years of dating and one and a half years of engagement,<br />

followed by a beach wedding in North Carolina.<br />

“Hi, how are you?” he asked, still trying to stop chuckling. His voice<br />

was soothing, like a mug of warm hot chocolate on a winter’s day.<br />

90


“I’m…I’m fine, and how are you?” I replied in a way that I hoped was<br />

calm and collected but probably wasn’t.<br />

“Kinda cold.”<br />

“Oh.”<br />

And then the conversation died.<br />

“Well… have a good day,” he said, tipping his hat in a chivalrous way,<br />

causing me to have a slight heart attack of passion.<br />

Sadly, I closed the cooler door and turned to look for my mother, who<br />

had begun calculating just how many cents we would save by buying<br />

a six-pack of yogurt rather than buying two three-packs. She seemed<br />

oblivious to the fact that I had just walked away from a potential great<br />

love. As we left for fresh eggs, I tried to go back to him.<br />

“Mom, let’s get some chocolate milk. Oprah likes chocolate,” I added<br />

hopefully. She stared at me wordlessly before pushing the cart past me.<br />

I gave one last, longing look towards the milk before following her, my<br />

heart ripping further like a paper milk carton with every step.<br />

The next morning, my family sat down to breakfast.<br />

“I think I need a little bit more milk in my coffee,” my mother said,<br />

rising from her chair to open the refrigerator.<br />

“I’ll get it!” I cried, springing from my seat and swiping the keys off<br />

the counter. The garage door had never creaked open more slowly.<br />

Every traffic light was red and there seemed to be twice as many stop<br />

signs that day. I finally pulled into the parking lot of the Wal-Mart<br />

Supercenter and spilled out of the car.<br />

Trying not to look too desperate and perhaps even a bit nonchalant, I<br />

decided not to sprint to the milk cooler and settled on a light<br />

power-walk instead. As I made my way to the lactose lounge, adrenaline<br />

and romance made my heart beat at an unhealthy pace. Can you believe we<br />

met in the milk aisle? I would say sweetly at our wedding, before bursting<br />

into blissful laughter with a flute of champagne between my fingertips.<br />

I flung open the sticky, glass doors vehemently. “Hello?” I called in a<br />

way that I hoped was demure but probably wasn’t. “Anyone?”<br />

The shelves of milk were silent.<br />

I held the cooler door open for ten minutes before realizing I could<br />

no longer feel my face. Sadly, I shut the door and accepted the fact that<br />

I would probably never see Milk Guy ever again. I played all of our one<br />

memory in my head again and again; I recalled all the good times we had<br />

had.<br />

It was time to let go.<br />

As I walked out of the Wal-Mart on Interstate Drive, I realized that<br />

other great loves would come along. Like that guy pushing carts down<br />

the parking lot.<br />

91


harriet milbourne<br />

walton, cumbria, uk<br />

92<br />

lanercost priory in the evening | ink emulsion on paper


SKy<br />

amelia parenteau<br />

north stonington, connecticut, usa<br />

The first time I saw the Milky Way I was at a slumber party with my<br />

three best friends. We had just learned about identifying<br />

constellations in science class, and I was proud to be able to pick out<br />

Cassiopeia without a moment’s hesitation. The grandeur of staring into<br />

the Milky Way struck me and all of a sudden I grasped the infinity of the<br />

universe. I was truly looking out into space, and wondering what my<br />

significance could possibly be as I sat here, upon this earth, one<br />

The grandeur of staring<br />

into the Milky Way<br />

struck me and all of a<br />

sudden I grasped the<br />

infinity of the universe.<br />

fourteen-year-old girl among a<br />

preponderance of stars?<br />

My next interaction with the Milky<br />

Way came when I was visiting Crater Lake<br />

in Oregon with my family over a summer<br />

vacation. We had read the guide books’<br />

accounts, certainly, about how magnificent<br />

the stars were at Crater Lake, but we had<br />

no real concept. After dinner, we stepped out onto the balcony at the<br />

lodge, and it was like stepping out of a space shuttle into the cosmos. It<br />

sucked the breath out of me. The stars were so bright, so perfectly white<br />

and brilliant and twinkling and dense that I was too overwhelmed to<br />

think of anything besides their blinding array. There it was again, the<br />

Milky Way, cradling me in this net of a universe.<br />

All the stars have stories behind them. Greek and Roman mythology<br />

lend greater meaning to the twinkling heavens. In my studies of Latin,<br />

I have internalized these stories so that viewing the splendor of the<br />

constellations from my backyard is akin to returning to the pages of a<br />

well-loved child-hood book. The stars map eternity. What will my story<br />

be, my contribution to the sweep of the stars?<br />

The sky does not only speak to me at night. It is equally splendid in a<br />

richly colored sunset or sunrise. I witness these on evenings at the beach,<br />

or across my snow-filled yard, when the last rays of daylight streak the<br />

glittering vastness before me, a dazzling tangerine and pomegranate and<br />

raspberry sunset. Language can hardly document the celestial display,<br />

but the enticement of a sunset makes it impossible not to try. The<br />

science is lost on me – I do not need calculated explanations for the<br />

array before my eyes. The sky conjures words, not equations. Poetic<br />

93


inspiration pours from the heavens.<br />

Dramatic late-afternoon light offsets the movie set facades of<br />

buildings, the quivering leaves, the<br />

birds’ silhouettes. Clouds swirl in and<br />

out, a panorama of theatrical drama.<br />

Dark, light, puffy, and ominous, all<br />

types scurry through our atmosphere<br />

as the cycle of life marches on. The<br />

arching, radiant beauty of the sky<br />

reminds me of my doll-sized proportion<br />

to this enormous earth. No matter<br />

what ails or excites me today, there are<br />

millions of other players on the stage<br />

of life marching about their everyday business, without an inkling of my<br />

existence.<br />

This is the same spread of a sky that our ancestors gazed upon in their<br />

finest moments, in their tragic moments, in their poetic moments, in<br />

their vehement moments. Jane Austen, Eleanor Roosevelt, Shakespeare,<br />

Berthe Morisot, Harper Lee all gazed out upon this very same expanse. I,<br />

too, want to make my mark beneath this sky. The ether quietly shines on<br />

above, promising something more just out of reach. It lends ambition, it<br />

crowns the earth. The sky is a limitless limit.<br />

Yet, there is versatility, adaptability. The sky knows how to change,<br />

how to adapt itself and put on its finest array on any occasion. I too,<br />

know how to live, to adapt. Or at least, I am learning. Looking towards<br />

the sky, with my head in the clouds, there will be no stopping how far I<br />

can go.<br />

94<br />

Jane Austen, Eleanor<br />

Roosevelt, Shakespeare,<br />

Berthe Morisot, Harper<br />

Lee all gazed out upon this<br />

very same expanse. I, too,<br />

want to make my mark<br />

beneath this sky.


<strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

is published by the editors and is printed<br />

in <strong>Missoula</strong>, Montana, USA<br />

by Gateway Printing<br />

95


ContrIbutorS<br />

dela breyne, 17: I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana in 1991. My dad, a nuclear<br />

systems engineer from Aurora, Illinois, served in the Peace Corps in Liberia following<br />

college. My mom was a public interest lawyer for the state who<br />

grew up in a small oil town in South Louisiana. I spent my early<br />

years being cared for during the day by my step grandmother, a<br />

loving but no-nonsense woman from the hills of West Virginia.<br />

In 7th grade, our family needed a change of pace and we moved to<br />

Lawrence, Kansas where I attend Free State High School.<br />

melanie brown, 18: I lived the first half of my life in Richmond, VA, and am spending the<br />

second half thus far in Denver, CO. People really do drive cars here, but during our Western<br />

Stock Show, they parade herds of longhorn cattle through the middle of the city just to keep<br />

things wild. I spend my days plowing through high school, crocheting hats, laughing with<br />

my dearest friends, and writing words and phrases in the margins of my math notebook.<br />

I am a writer, a musician, a conductor, a runner, a driver of loud and rusting trucks, and<br />

above all things, a creator. My writing is always inspired by truth.<br />

I have learned that only when I write about things I know do my<br />

words live, so I make a point of finding inspiration in each day. I<br />

write about my joys so I may cherish them, my uncertainties so I<br />

may understand them, and my fears so I may conquer them.<br />

jessica byrne, 18: My home life has contrasting influences of rural and urban shape.<br />

I live in the outskirts of Carlisle; buildings spring up in clumps and are surrounded by<br />

countryside. In my photograph, “Country Lane,” I have captured<br />

the tranquillity and stillness of Cumbria. “Country Lane” shows<br />

soft curving lines in contrast to the linear shape of a city street.<br />

Carlisle depicts an idyllic atmosphere with the influence of man in<br />

the form of structure. This is the place I call home.<br />

ella carruthers, 13 and hollie milburn, 13: We got the idea for our picture from the<br />

place we live, Carlisle. The centre of our picture is Carlisle castle. We<br />

chose this as the centre because it reminds us the most of home as we<br />

pass it on the way to and from school every morning and afternoon.<br />

Carlisle castle is one of the oldest buidlings in<br />

Carlisle, along with the cathedral. Carlisle is a<br />

border city, near the Scottish border, and it was<br />

constantly in the middle of battles and wars fought<br />

between England and Scotland. It is full of history<br />

and Mary Queen of Scots was held here once. As you<br />

can see we created a border around the castle for our<br />

interests and life today.<br />

96


achel cin, 18: With English my second language, I often<br />

have a hard time describing myself. By taking photography I<br />

can describe my feelings without having to say a word. I am<br />

usually shy and Ms. Perkins, my art teacher, calls me the quiet<br />

creator, because I have difficulty writing or speaking my ideas.<br />

Since last year, I have gained a lot of confidence and now talk to<br />

people who I would never have talked to before.<br />

annie chang, 18: Both of my parents are from Taiwan, but my brother and I were born<br />

here in the United States. As a result, my personality and character<br />

have been strongly shaped by the Chinese and Taiwanese cultures.<br />

It is interesting to be an Asian-American living in central Oklahoma,<br />

where just five minutes from my home are real cattle farms and horse<br />

ranches. The two cultures seem to contradict each other, but I have an<br />

amazing life that can only come from the welding of two such different<br />

places. I speak Mandarin at home and I love country music. I teach<br />

Chinese folk dancing lessons, and I am also a member of the Norman<br />

Ballet Company.<br />

kelsie corriston, 17: I live in Ho-Ho-Kus, the only town in America to have two hyphens.<br />

I have a twin sister. Sometimes I hate her, but she’s my best friend.<br />

Every weekend during the summer we go to my grandparent’s<br />

house at the Jersey shore. The house is right on the beach of the<br />

Matedaconk River. Often we go tubing or crabbing. Mostly I<br />

just read on the deck that overlooks the beach, an iced glass of a<br />

Stewart Root Beer on the floor next to me. In the evenings we sit<br />

outside and have appetizers. Perhaps the best taste in the world<br />

is a fresh crab dipped in mustard and mayonnaise sauce.<br />

michele corriston, 17: My name is Michele Corriston. That’s M-i-c-h-e-l-e. One “L.” A<br />

few weeks ago, someone told me he “didn’t know if I could rock the one “L.” I told him I<br />

try. And I do. I try to meet the expectations I set for myself. I try to make myself known in a<br />

school where anonymity is heresy and new people approach me everyday, calling me by my<br />

twin sister’s name. I try to break out of my shell, crack by crack, line by line.<br />

olivia dykes, 16: I’m the daughter of parents with rhyming names and the older sister<br />

of a set of twins. Make that two sets of twins if you count the dogs. My grandparents<br />

have to be the cutest couple I have ever seen and when I get older, I would kill to have a<br />

relationship like that. Not to mention, go parasailing off the coast of Bermuda and visit the<br />

moon someday. Sometimes I can be too concerned with my image and I can be indecisive.<br />

I’m really quiet when you first meet me, but if you get to know me, that will change very<br />

quickly.<br />

97


paul edmondson, 17: My student life at the moment is spent between two cities, Carlisle,<br />

where I was born and have lived all my life, and Glasgow, where I would like to move to<br />

attend university. Up until last year I have always considered Carlisle to<br />

be where I “belong,” but after some friends moved to Glasgow to study,<br />

my regular visits on the train have made me challenge that. The piece I<br />

submitted is the outcome of my architecture project based on that idea. While<br />

exploring different viewpoints, I decided to observe an older, historic part of<br />

my school through the window of the school dinner hall, showing some of the<br />

interior of the dinner hall and also the façade of the old Devonshire Hall. This<br />

piece shows my ties to Carlisle.<br />

erin eifler, 18: Hi! My name is Erin Eifler. I have spent most of my 18 years traveling the<br />

world with my family while my parents do their biology research. Nature<br />

is important to me, and I enjoy it through scuba diving, hiking, mountain<br />

climbing, and photography. Mangoes are the most delicious fruit in the world,<br />

and The Lion King is the best movie I have ever seen. I am my daddy’s little girl.<br />

Before I start college this fall, I will go skydiving. Speaking Spanish is really<br />

fun, but sometimes I forget and mix Spanish and English together when I talk.<br />

98<br />

romanius eiman, secondary school: I submitted a poem that I wrote<br />

after some huge changes in my life. I lived on the street, just as in my poem,<br />

from about age 7 to 12. I was then taken into an orphanage, where Auntie<br />

Muriel helped me turn my life around. I am now working hard to make it<br />

up and hope to go to college and help put an end to HIV/AIDS. I wrote this<br />

poem in order to deal with all the memories from that time. The picture<br />

shows me as I am now at the bridge we lived under. There were about 25<br />

of us.<br />

laura elder, 18: I worked from a photograph of a recent trip to Prague to create a textile-based<br />

piece focusing on ornate carved columns. I used a range of media- mono print, paint, gutta,<br />

appliqué, hand and machine stitching to create a vibrant, rich representation<br />

of the textures and details within the architectural details, but using unusual<br />

colours and materials to bring life to these columns. This was something which<br />

I first noticed and appreciated in my local Cathedral and town buildings of<br />

similar style, and became the inspiration behind my project.<br />

mackenzie enich, 16: I was born in Minnesota and moved to <strong>Missoula</strong>, Montana when I<br />

was five. I have pursued many sports and activities, but found my true passion lies in the art<br />

of photography and filmmaking. The natural beauty of Montana<br />

has inspired many of my photos as well as the people around me. I<br />

recently had the opportunity to experience a photographer’s dream,<br />

traveling with my family to Africa. Many people travel there to<br />

experience the wildlife of Africa, but I found the Kenyan people more<br />

interesting. I found myself inspired by taking photos of the people<br />

and culture, and the everyday life in Africa.


myrah fisher, 17: Myrah lives in the ultimate state for biking, (the ever-sea-level Florida), and<br />

greatly enjoys going on rides during the hours when most decent folk are dead asleep. She also<br />

likes procrastinating, baking, listening to bad music, and, of course, referring to herself in third<br />

person. She dislikes people who are unnecessarily loud, hates having her name misspelled/mispronounced,<br />

and is really bad at staying angry. Myrah Fisher is a firm believer<br />

in the wisdom of “write what you know,” though she does think it is fun to<br />

learn new things. Her favorite poets include Charles Bukowski, Billy Collins,<br />

and Jeffrey McDaniels because they tend not to hide their intents under fancy<br />

words and flighty symbolism. Myrah Fisher also admires David Sedaris, but<br />

she has no hope of pinning down a list of favorite fiction writers that wouldn’t<br />

be the length of her intestines stretched out.<br />

jennifer giang, 16: I live in the small suburb of Lilburn, GA. There, I immerse myself in my<br />

multiracial roots while listening to stories about my dad’s native Cambodia and my mom’s<br />

Mexico. Along with writing in my notebook, I also take photographs of random things and<br />

landscapes. When I’m not writing blurbs, I enjoy talking with my<br />

friends at the local Pizza Café. My grandmother’s year and a half<br />

fight against ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, inspired<br />

my piece. Although these events occurred four years ago, they are<br />

still fresh in my mind. Initially, my essay was a struggle to write<br />

because of the emotions that I thought had tempered with time. In<br />

the end, I was able to craft this small memoir in honor of her.<br />

deborah gravina, 16: My name is Deborah Gravina, and I live in small town Allendale, New<br />

Jersey. Allendale is a total of one and a half square miles and has three<br />

schools, a library, a lake, and a town hall all on one street. Nothing happens<br />

here. The town joke is calling it Actiondale. We do have a center of town,<br />

on the “other side of town” that has three nail salons, two coffee houses (one<br />

taken over by all those over the age of 50 and in order to really spend time in<br />

there you must be a regular, if not you can go when it’s empty), three Asiantype<br />

food places, two fast food places, two fancy restaurants, two laundry<br />

mats, two gas stations, and four churches of the catholic faith. My parents<br />

and I used to change it up and go to a different one every Sunday, life on the<br />

edge.<br />

daniel alexander gross, 18: Daniel is a high school student in Los Alamitos, CA, who likes<br />

to be nice to people. He dreams - which will someday become reality!<br />

- of bicycling down the coast of California and living somewhere far<br />

away. The concept of a “green world” refers to a literary setting named<br />

by Northrop Fyre - a location originally from Shakespearean comedy<br />

in which things can happen that would, in society, be impossible.<br />

Especially love. He writes: “Shakespearean comedy illustrates, as<br />

clearly as any mythos we have, the archetypal function of literature in<br />

visualizing the world of desire, not as an escape from ‘reality,’ but as the<br />

genuine form of the world that human life tries to imitate.”<br />

99


kathleen harm, 17: My name is Kathleen Harm, 17, (my family calls me Kat), and I’ve lived<br />

in New Jersey all of my life. Currently, I’m living in Ho-Ho-Kus, which is<br />

the smallest town ever; many people don’t even believe that it exists. There<br />

isn’t much to do, so I find myself reading and watching TV a lot. So many<br />

solo activities have made me a tad loony, which would explain my udderly<br />

odd poetry.<br />

chase hoag, 18: My name is Chase Hoag. I was born in Lawrence, Kansas in the United<br />

States on September 22, 1990. I have lived within the same square mile of area pretty much<br />

my entire life. I started school when I was six and plan to continue on at the college level. My<br />

grandmother was really the one who got me into art; she is a magnificent artist. My junior year<br />

of high school I really started getting into the arts, and I took a class called Humanities, which<br />

is where I draw much of my artistic inspiration and knowledge from. I am now an Advance<br />

Placement Art student in my school and love being involved with the arts.<br />

sophie howell, 17: I live in Carlisle and have been at Trinity School for 5 years. I am lucky to<br />

live in such a green city with two beautiful parks close to my school; one has<br />

sheep and cows wandering around the entire stretch of the river on one side<br />

and the other park is very cultivated with special garden areas and walks.<br />

My friend Bethaney and I go for picnics in the parks and enjoy the summer<br />

sun. I love sunflowers. It is a sunny, happy flower and that is how the parks<br />

make me feel.<br />

wynne hungerford, 17: My name is Wynne Hungerford and I am from Greenville, SC. I<br />

attend the South Carolina Governor’s School for the Arts and Humanities for<br />

creative writing. Living at school is great because it only takes a few minutes<br />

to walk to class, and I really get to focus on writing. I enjoy whitewater<br />

kayaking, Woody Allen films, and reading. I normally begin writing poems<br />

with an image in mind or a single event. Jorie Graham and Martin Espada are<br />

great influences. In my poetry, I try to present specific scenes or characters<br />

that lend themselves to larger ideas. I challenge myself to show natural<br />

images in an eerie light.<br />

alexandria kim, 18: My name is Alexandria and I am from Allendale, NJ, a very small<br />

suburban town. My town is a little boring sometimes so I like to drive to the<br />

mall and watch a lot of movies. I am a seventeen year old Korean-American<br />

and a senior in high school (I am excited to go to college). I enjoy reading<br />

on Sunday mornings and sketching portraits of famous people. I spend a lot<br />

of my time tutoring middle school students in English, math, and spanish.<br />

worapan kongtaewtong, 17: Sawasdi Kha! This means “hello” in Thai. Worapan<br />

Kongtaewtong is the name of a 16 years-old girl who lives in Thailand – that’s me! My nickname<br />

is Bew. My family consists of my dad, my mom, my older sister (Bim), and me. We live a very<br />

simple life. I am a Mathayom 3 (Grade 9) student at Yothinburana School. My hobbies include<br />

reading comics and novels, playing sports, and creating artwork. Sometimes I feel<br />

joy when watching the sunset or listening to good music. About my piece: It is<br />

a common experience for all humans to be sensitive to the sounds and sights of<br />

their memories. We acquire them naturally and we all have them. Unlike so many<br />

things, the possession of memories doesn’t divide us into different classes, age<br />

groups, or positions. The beauty of our memories is that no one can steal them.<br />

In some ways, memory is the water that maintains one’s life until the last breath.<br />

100


allison lazarus, 17: I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, and continue to reside<br />

here, though I hope to move abroad when I’m older, probably to either France<br />

or China. I love playing tennis and rowing. Beyond that, I love to read, and feel<br />

that I’ve been most influenced by Hemingway, Marquez and Tolstoy, but you<br />

could just as easily find me reading Seventeen magazine. At my school, I am the<br />

editor of a page in the student newspaper, a co-editor-in-chief of the literary<br />

magazine, InWords, and my class’s representative on Honor Council. Outside<br />

of school, I have been learning Chinese for three years through a tutor, and<br />

teach preschoolers at my synagogue every Sunday.<br />

jennie lee, 17: I was born in Metairie, a suburb of New Orleans. I moved to South Korea when<br />

I was two, then came to Norman, Oklahoma at the age of nine and entered<br />

the fourth grade. Differences in cultures and acceptance are abstract to<br />

explore, and are difficult work for anyone, especially a child. These issues of<br />

differing values, expectations, and appearances among societies are a part<br />

of my life. In “The Watermelon Defeat,” I describe my young self being selfconscious.<br />

When I was little, I didn’t understand that that uncertainty was<br />

not because of a dress, but because of my identity as a foreigner to others.<br />

It’s a hard and ongoing struggle, but not impossible to overcome.<br />

iida lehtinen, 16: I’m Iida, a 16-year-old high school girl, who lives with her mom in a quite<br />

small town in southern Finland. I’m in art oriented high school in Turku, where you can study<br />

media (photography, radio, video, journalism) and theatre among<br />

the normal high school studies. In my spare time, I photograph,<br />

write (mostly in Finnish), watch much movies, draw and paint<br />

and blog. (http://running-from-the-rain.blogspot.com) The biggest<br />

influence in my work of any kind is people, movies, music and<br />

the life itself, especially like black and white photographs with<br />

a soul and story to tell. I photograph mostly people and I love<br />

photographing kids, because they’re so changing and you can ever<br />

know what they are doing next. Fortunately I’m an auntie for four children, so I’ve pretty many<br />

child models to use. I like staged photographs as much as unstaged ones, so personally I do both.<br />

ayna kuliyeva, 16: My name is Ayna. I’m 16 years old. I’m studying at school. This is my last<br />

year here. I live in Ashgabat. It is a capital of Turkmenistan. It is a very<br />

beautiful city with luxuriant green parks and high marble buildings. In my<br />

free time, I like listening to all kinds of music, watching movies (especially<br />

comedy and fantasy), writing poems, and reading books. I have a big family.<br />

It consists of five members: me, my mother, father and two old brothers. I<br />

think that I have a really friendly and harmonious family.<br />

hannah lodwick, 18: I’ve lived in Lawrence, Kansas my entire life and I<br />

feel that much of my work embodies my surroundings. I recently created<br />

a concentration on William Burroughs, a beat writer who lived in my<br />

hometown. His abstract work has influenced my style and made it looser. I<br />

spend my free time outside, exploring the country and taking photos. The<br />

flat horizon line enters into my work through background and composition.<br />

101


taylor nicole marlow, 18: I was born and raised in Norman, Oklahoma. There are two high<br />

schools in my town; each school has around two-thousand students. Here<br />

in Oklahoma, the horizon is incredibly flat, which makes the sunsets<br />

absolutely breath-taking. I love the state I live in because it is always<br />

changing, but still always the same. My poem was inspired by a memory<br />

from my childhood. I write about my grandfather often because he was<br />

such a dynamic individual. Also, the topic, cooking fish for Thanksgiving,<br />

is not very common. It is a tradition in my family and I wanted to share it<br />

with others.<br />

harriet milbourne, 17: I live in a small village called Walton. It’s just me and my mum at home.<br />

We have a cat and a hamster called Bella and Napoleon. We don’t have a<br />

television so I like to read a lot, we also like to go on walks and swim. When<br />

I leave for university I want to take a course in teaching and eventually<br />

become a teacher. My piece, “Lanercost Priory in the Evening” is based on<br />

the priory in the small village of Lanercost which is just down the road from<br />

Walton. This is where I spent a lot of time when I was younger as my dad<br />

held toy train meetings in the small hall attached to the priory. It was here<br />

that my dad’s funeral was held, so this also has a special meaning for me.<br />

mercy ndambuki, 17: I was born and raised in Kenya and moved to the United States<br />

when I was fourteen on December 24, 2004. I speak four languages:<br />

Kiswahili, Kikamba, French and definitely English. On a typical<br />

weekend, I play tennis, go to Edmond to visit my family friends, do last<br />

minute homework and watch a lot of television. My favorite hobby is<br />

drawing because it gives me the chance to express my emotions and<br />

imaginations through pictures and color.<br />

maria nelson, 17: My name is Maria Nelson, and I am a junior in Helena, Montana. I grew up<br />

in the mountains near Yellowstone National Park. I had a huge imagination as a child, some<br />

of which has stuck with me as I grew up. I believe that there is no greater way to express<br />

oneself than through writing or the arts. “Echoes of Alexandria” holds great<br />

personal import for me. While it is now a fictional cross-section of lives<br />

and relationships, of hope and hopelessness, of drifting and loving and<br />

dancing in the haze of adolescence, of the secret maturity that hides itself<br />

in the minds of the young and can be interpreted in several ways, it began<br />

far differently. I have lost friends to drugs and alcohol. Not by death, but<br />

by their choice, by slow erosion of ideals. I have felt a need to save these<br />

friends, to save them from themselves, and this feeling led to one of the<br />

hardest realizations of my life: that I cannot protect anybody from herself,<br />

that life has twists that nobody can see or foretell.<br />

102<br />

austin noll, 17: My name is Austin Noll and I was born in Lawrence, Kansas,<br />

where I have spent all seventeen years of my life. My first artistic aspirations<br />

began at age two with my life size Clifford drawing and I have been drawing<br />

ever since. Past Clifford, I am now inspired by Lucian Freud, Vincent Van<br />

Gogh, and Sebastian Kruger. When I am not drawing or painting, I like to<br />

play music, basketball, watch movies, and eat cereal (preferably Cinnamon<br />

Toast Crunch.) While I plan on being an artist and attending art school, I<br />

would also like to play in a band, and learn how to surf.


jonathan o’hair, 18: Hello my name is Jonathan and I am a senior at Norman North High<br />

School. I do competitive debate at contests, as well as recreational golf and basketball. My life<br />

is pretty ordinary but one interesting thing about myself is that ever since I was nine I have<br />

tried to learn a skill every year that I could take with me throughout my life. This year happens<br />

to be guitar.<br />

gabriella otero, 17: I wake up in the morning and get ready for school. I only make it through<br />

the day because it leads to fifth and sixth hour, which of course is photo. After school, I<br />

sometimes stay for soccer which is something completely new for me! Or I go home where I<br />

enjoy taking pictures, reading, or eating. I eat Mexican food everyday. Lucky!? I think so, but it<br />

may also be because I’m Mexican. I was born in Chihuahua, no not the dooog. When I was five,<br />

I came moved to OOOOOOOOklahoma, and then when I was thirteen I moved to Kansas. After<br />

doing what I need to do everyday I go to sleep and have the weirdest dreams.<br />

amelia parenteau, 17: I am a seventeen year old senior at the Norwich Free Academy. I<br />

live with my parents and my younger brother in a rural town in<br />

southeastern Connecticut. I am involved in the theater program and<br />

the newspaper at my high school. I love to travel and I bake excellent<br />

chocolate chip cookies. I will be attending Sarah Lawrence College in<br />

the fall. I wrote my essay when I was on the long path to composing<br />

my college essay. It was one of many that I discarded. However, I<br />

enjoyed the imagery and language in this piece very much. The sky<br />

continues to captivate me.<br />

marquette patterson, 16: I was born and raised in Southeast<br />

Alaska from Juneau to Hydaburg. I care deeply about my cultural<br />

background (I’m Haida and Tlingit). Haidas were known to be one of<br />

the toughest tribes of the Southeast and sometimes had confrontations<br />

with the Tlingits. That makes it difficult for me now, dealing with my<br />

inherited double identity. In my spare time I like to play basketball,<br />

read, and surround myself with family and friends. When I’m older<br />

I want to pursue a career in studying different cultures and travel.<br />

emma lucy bay pimentel, 15: According to the law and my birth certificate, I am a Californian.<br />

Whether you choose to take that to mean beach bum, blonde, or surfing chick is your choice,<br />

though I can tell you right away you would be wrong on all accounts. I left<br />

California when I was three, traveled around the United States until I was<br />

seven, then moved over to forge new territory overseas in Bosnia, Romania,<br />

the Netherlands, and Sudan. I have studied seven languages, lived in war<br />

zones (in constant peril of my life, whether the death stroke be that of a land<br />

mine or a mosquito), and eaten camel - stringy stuff, can’t recommend it. I<br />

have attended music camps in Austrian castles and ridden a felucca down<br />

the Nile. I have swum in oceans from the Gulf of Mexico to the North Sea,<br />

and skied in the Swiss Alps. Needless to say, I stopped thinking of myself as<br />

inherently American years ago.<br />

jamie pisciotta, 18: Jamie was born in California and was raised in Utah.<br />

She is a senior in high school and is the Editor-in-Chief of Judge Memorial’s<br />

literary magazine Catharsis. She used to make art in the form of visual<br />

mediums, like painting and sculpture; this is her first year using the written<br />

word as her medium. She plans to attend college at the University of Utah<br />

and graduate with a major in Chemistry and a minor in English.<br />

103


nadia quari, 17: My name is Nadia. I’m Pakistani-American and my parents immigrated to<br />

America 25 years ago, but my dad still gets lost when speaking in English sometimes. I speak<br />

fluent Urdu and by now I’ve watched so many Bollywood movies that<br />

I am also confident in Hindi. I like to drink chai with my mom and we<br />

always joke about how I have to marry a rich Arab sheikh to pay off<br />

my student loans after college. I listen to classical sitar ragas and I like<br />

to read translated works by Farsi and Arabic speaking poets. I always<br />

remember my dreams and I’ve recently acquired a taste for spicy tuna<br />

roll sushi, it’s delicious.<br />

jake ross, 17: Jake Ross is a junior at a residential high school for the arts<br />

in South Carolina. Jake Ross enjoys reading, writing, watching good movies,<br />

and wearing sweaters designed for old men. Jake Ross is not actually sure<br />

whether or not he was supposed to write this biography in the third person.<br />

Often my stories are the product of my noticing an interesting detail in reality,<br />

something that would be fun to work characters around. I heard the jingle for<br />

an insect-removal company, and “Worker Bee” spiraled outwards from there.<br />

sumi selvaraj, 18: My name is Sumathee Selvaraj, but I prefer to go by the name of Sumi, which<br />

I will probably end up legally changing my name to one day. I am South Indian (from India), and<br />

I was born and brought up with South Indian traditions in Atlanta. I am currently a senior at<br />

Parkview High School in Lilburn, Georgia. I enjoy singing, taking photos, and dancing. Unlike<br />

most dancers, I learn a classical Indian art form called Kuchipudi.<br />

104<br />

evelina shakirova, 15: My name is Evelina. I am fifteen years old. I live in<br />

Kazan. I love my city very much. I like to photograph, to sing, to dance and to<br />

study English language! I think, I’m very cheerful and nice! In my future I’m<br />

planning to learn French and German languages.<br />

victoria shapovalova, 14: Hello! My name is Shapovalova Victoria. I’m 14<br />

years old. I live in Kazan (Tatarstan, Russia) and I love my city very much.<br />

My hobby is music and I love to sing very much.<br />

sarah stern, 17: I am Sarah Stern, age 17, born and raised a Kansas girl. I have a huge mane of<br />

curly blonde hair and a laugh that can be heard a block away. I’m a shrewd bargain hunter and<br />

a passionate photographer. I started my own business at fifteen and<br />

enjoy spending time exploring fields in warm weather. I love to salsa<br />

dance and play classical piano music. While I know I’ll be attending<br />

college in the fall, my only other definite plans include joining the Peace<br />

Corps upon graduation from college.<br />

alexaundra swann, 17: I am from Atlanta, but when I was very young I moved to Texas: I<br />

spent five years of my life there, learning and growing up. I began my poetic expressions in the<br />

first grade. I live with my mother, father, sister, and brother, and our<br />

pride is in our family values. I write simply to let out feelings that<br />

would stay bottled up otherwise. Freedom is my greatest possession<br />

when expressing exactly how I’m feeling. My piece “Roses” is meant<br />

to portray the innocence of young girls. It is actually a true story of<br />

my best friend and me walking on a lake in the back of our apartment<br />

complex.


obaid syed, 16: Ever since I opened my eyes to the world, I have been riding a cultural roller<br />

coaster. I was born in Karachi, Pakistan. When I turned four, I was living in<br />

Saudi Arabia, learning to read and write Arabic. At age nine, I was required to<br />

take Gaelic in my school and all of my friends were Irish. At eleven, I made an<br />

A in Texas’ history. By the time I was thirteen, I had moved nine times, living<br />

in four different countries on three different continents. The main inspiration<br />

for my story is Ugandan children who are forced to join the army. As we sit in<br />

comfort, people suffer in extreme distress. I hope that raising awareness for<br />

these crimes against humanity would help resolve the issues on this planet.<br />

my ngoc to, 17: My name is My Ngoc To, and I am a seventeen year old junior at Parkview<br />

High School. I was born in Vietnam and immigrated to the United States with<br />

my family in 1993. I visited Vietnam in 2005 and returned to America seeing<br />

my life in a completely different perspective. Until then I had I never really<br />

appreciated the daily parts of my life, such as having multiple working toilets<br />

in the house. I am very proud to be a Vietnamese American because in learning<br />

to grow up in two different worlds I have developed a very unique way of<br />

thinking, of piecing things together, and I like to carry this thought process<br />

into my writing and my art.<br />

yuka tsuruyama, 17: I live in Kumamoto, Japan. I go to Daini SHS. I belong to the school brass<br />

band. I’m very interested in English and Japanese. My piece is about Obon, which is a Buddhist<br />

festival for the deceased that is celebrated in Japan every summer. We visit a family tomb during<br />

this period and light paper lanterns in front it. Then we return home<br />

carrying the burning lanterns with us. It is said that the light of the<br />

paper lantern guides the souls of the deceased. In this way, we invite<br />

our ancestors into our home. The lantern light always reminds me of<br />

happy times with my grandfather. The light warms my heart and brings<br />

me joy. I wrote this Haiku when my heart was filled with the warmth of<br />

the lantern light.<br />

natasha joyce weidner, 17: Natasha is a senior in the Creative Writing Department at the<br />

San Francisco School of The Arts, a public high school. Her poetry<br />

recently won acclaim from the California Coastal Commission and the<br />

National Foundation for the Advancement of the Arts. As well as being<br />

an avid reader and writer, Natasha is a classical guitarist, samba dancer,<br />

open-water swimmer, camp counselor, yogini, and aspiring sustainable<br />

farmer.<br />

alex welcher, 17: My name is Alexandria Welcher but I go by Alex. I am very shy unless you<br />

talk to me first. I love to laugh at silly things. I think of myself as being sweet. I hate thinking of<br />

new ideas, because I suck at it. I get easily confused. My family is my world; I love hanging out<br />

with them more than anything. My mom is my hero. My favorite color is red. I am super duper<br />

loud, well I can be. My new favorite word or saying is super duper. I chew gum every second of<br />

my life. I would love to travel the entire world but would be afraid of the different environment.<br />

I have a dog named Odie. My favorite number is two.<br />

samuel j. willger, 18: I grew up in a small town in Iowa that had only<br />

had one stoplight. Later my family and I moved to Kansas while I was<br />

in middle school. I feel that Lawrence is an accepting town that made<br />

the transition for me very easily. After moving I quickly joined the track,<br />

cross country teams, and a variety of clubs. My step father and sister are<br />

both in the creative field and I hope I can do the same.<br />

105


Thank you, Teachers and <strong>Schools</strong><br />

If I’ve learned anything in my tenure as a board member and advisor to several<br />

literary magazines, it is the critical role of the teacher. Should anyone wonder, many<br />

of the students represented in these pages share the same teacher. The students may<br />

have been gifted writers or artists at the outset, but after many years of reading and<br />

enjoying student submissions, it is clear that there is a force behind the best students.<br />

At the core, teachers are urging, supporting, perhaps cajoling, and likely pushing<br />

students beyond their comfort zones. Those teachers are involved in their students’<br />

work at a dynamic level, offering them new ways of viewing the world and new skills<br />

with which to render what they see. In a time when teachers, particularly teachers of<br />

the arts, live too closely to the vacuum that can become standardized testing, please<br />

applaud schools, administrations and teachers who understand and validate the<br />

absolute need for the arts in our young people’s lives. This magazine exists, certainly,<br />

because of students and their work. It would exist in a far different way without<br />

the teachers who foster, guide and give voice and substance to that work, and the<br />

administrators and schools that make it possible. Thank you. LEL<br />

Students of the following teachers were selected for inclusion in the 2009 <strong>Aerie</strong><br />

International.<br />

Angelia Perkins of Lawrence High School, Lawrence, Kansas<br />

Anna Grehova of American Councils, Ashgabat, Turkmenistan<br />

Anna Skinner of Yothin Burana School, Bangkok, Thailand<br />

Brenda Graham and Jane Giles of Trinity School, Carlisle, Cumbria, Great Britain<br />

Carolyn Berry of Lawrence Free State High School, Lawrence, Kansas<br />

Ealene Anderson of Otjiwarongo Secondary School, Otjiwarongo, Namibia<br />

Fujiwara Masayuki of Daini Senior High School, Kumamoto, Japan<br />

Geoffrey Serra of Norwich Free Academy, Norwich, Connecticut<br />

George Singleton and Mamie Morgan of South Carolina Governor’s School for the<br />

Arts and Humanities, Greenville, South Carolina<br />

Heather Woodward of San Francisco School of the Arts, San Francisco, California<br />

Jackie Jones, Liz Flaisig and Will Napier of Douglas Anderson School of the Arts,<br />

Jacksonville, Florida<br />

Janine King of Los Alamitos High School, Los Alamitos, California<br />

Jean O’Connor of Helena High School, Helena, Montana<br />

Joel McElvaney of Roswell High School, Roswell, Georgia<br />

Judy Nollner, Mary Lynn Huie and Susan Henderson of Parkview High School,<br />

Lilburn, Georgia<br />

Kathy Woods of Norman North High School, Norman, Oklahoma<br />

Kelly Hammond of Cincinnati Country Day School, Cincinnati, Ohio<br />

Kim Lucostic of Big Sky High School, <strong>Missoula</strong>, Montana<br />

Lary Kleeman of Arapahoe High School, Centennial, Colorado<br />

Linda Simpson of Judge Memorial Catholic High School, Salt Lake City, Utah<br />

Nataliya Yegorava of Secondary School 40, Kazan, Russia<br />

Stuart Merchant of Hydaburg High School, Hydaburg, Alaska<br />

Svea Barrett of Northern Highlands Regional High School, Allendale, New Jersey<br />

Ulla Kudjoi, Juhana Herttua High School, Turku, Finland


<strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

announces<br />

Richard Hugo Poetry Award of $100<br />

James Welch Fiction Award of $100<br />

Norman Maclean Nonfiction Award of $100<br />

Rudy Autio Visual Arts Award of $100<br />

Lee Nye Photography Award of $100<br />

deAdlIne: 1 februAry 2010<br />

Please include no more than 5 pieces per individual per year. Submitting<br />

student must be 13-19 years of age or in secondary school at time<br />

of publication. All submissions will be considered for our awards.<br />

Examples of the kind of work we hope to receive can be viewed, along<br />

with full submission guidelines, at www.aerieinternational.com. Look<br />

for <strong>Aerie</strong> International under the publications link. Contact us at<br />

aerie.international@gmail.com.<br />

subscribe to:<br />

<strong>Aerie</strong> International<br />

one year/one issue<br />

$12 – U.S. Subscribers<br />

$15 – Friends Outside the U.S.<br />

Name: ______________________________________________<br />

Address: ____________________________________________<br />

City, State, Zip: _______________________________________<br />

E-mail: _____________________________________________<br />

# of copies ordered: ____________________________________<br />

Amount enclosed: _____________________________________<br />

Please make check payable to <strong>Aerie</strong> International.


allendale, new jersey<br />

ashgabat, turkmenistan<br />

bangkok, thailand<br />

carlisle, great britain<br />

centennial, colorado<br />

cincinnati, ohio<br />

greenville, south caolina<br />

helena, montana<br />

ho-ho-kus, new jersey<br />

hydaburg, alaska<br />

jacksonville, florida<br />

kazan, russia<br />

kumamoto, japan<br />

lawrence, kansas<br />

lilburn, georgia<br />

los alamitos, california<br />

new orleans, louisiana<br />

norman, oklahoma<br />

north stonington, conneticuit<br />

otjiwarongo, namibia<br />

roswell, georgia<br />

salt lake city, utah<br />

san francisco, california<br />

sauvo, finland

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