Paraphilias and Sexual Variants

Paraphilias• A person‟s sexual arousal andgratification depends almostexclusively on engaging in orfantasizing about the behaviorSexual Variant• Unusual behaviors that are engagedin for variety and not as one‟spreferred manner of becoming sexualaroused.Paraphilias vs. Sexual Variants

Facts and Figures• Most people with paraphilias have 2-3 types of behaviors• Paraphilias tend to cluster• 20 males to 1 female• Develop fantasies by 12-13Characteristics

Lovemap TheoryDefinition• A love map is a cognitiverepresentation that carries a person‟serotic fantasies and theircorresponding practicesDevelopment• Children develop a lovemap throughsexual rehearsal play• Normal development = heterosexualAbnormal Development (ParaphiliaLovemap)• Prohibition of sexual activityAbnormal Development (ParaphiliaLovemap)• Atypical sexual play → child learnsto associate arousal with non-sexualobjectsCharacteristics• May fully unfold during puberty• Stable throughout life• Fantasies are not socially contagious:a person will not develop a foot fetishfrom watching a movie, unless he/shealready has a foot-fetish lovemap

ExhibitionismDefinition• Exposing genitals to unsuspectingand unwilling strangers to get sexualgratificationCharacteristics• Begins in mid teens/20s• Almost exclusively men• 93% have another paraphilia• Low-self esteem, fear rejection,problems with close relationshipsCharacteristics• No clear link between exhibitionismand rape/violent sexual assaultsWhy??? Elements of Eroticism• Erotic turn-on is directed at thevictim‟s shock/disgust

Definition• Sexual arousal is achieved primarilyby making obscene phone callsIncidence• 1 million obscene calls reported/yr• 50% of women report havingreceived an obscene call at least once• 6-14% of men report giving a call atleast onceCharacteristics• Low self-esteem/problems withsexual relationshipsTelephone ScatologiaWhy??? Elements of Eroticism• Sense of control• Victim‟s disgust/fear/shockTypes• Shock: Immediately obscene• Seducer: Reasonable explanation upfront, gradually becomes obscene• Trickster: Uses the guise oflegitimacy (survey)

FrotteurismDefinition• Sexual arousal is achieved primarilyby rubbing one‟s genitals againstothers in public placesCharacteristics• Seeks out crowded places –subway/busses• Not interested in establishing arelationship with their victimsWhy??? Elements of Eroticism• Arousal disorders?

Definition• Sexual arousal is achieved primarilyby dressing as a member of the oppositesexFacts and Figures• 1-2% of adult malesTransvestism•8.5 years average age of starting(Bullough & Bullough, 1997)• 32% began cross-dressing before age 6

Characteristics• Differs from transgender, crossdressing,and drag• How?• Motivation to dress as the opposite sexis to achieve sexual arousalTransvestismCharacteristics• May masturbate while wearingclothes• May use cross-dressing instance tomasturbate later• May use cross-dressing to achievephysiological arousal for the purposeof intercourse with their partner

Characteristics• For many, transvestism is viewed asa problem to overcome• 93% of transvestites reported beingafraid of being caught (Bullough &Bullough, 1997)TransvestismWhat did you fear would happen if you were caught cross-dressing?(Bullough & Bullough, 1997)Fears %Rejection 47Sissy label 25Crazy/mentally ill 22.8Sinful label 4.8

Why??? Elements of Eroticism• Feeling of relief/naturalness• Feeling of being attractive/sensuality(enjoy the feeling of the clothes ontheir body)• Arousal from site of women‟s clotheson own body• Some have fantasies of being awomanTransvestism

Feeling Like A Woman Within• Crave to present themselves as anattractive female• Crave to feel feminine: pretty,desirable, submissive, delicateTransvestism

Transvestism and Sexual OrientationA (Mostly) Heterosexual Phenomenon• 67-75% Heterosexual• 10% Bisexual• 2.4% Homosexual• 19% Sex not part of my life right nowChange of Orientation• 87% Hetero while dressed as man• 52% Hetero while dressed as woman

Fetishism• Sexual arousal occurs primarily whenusing or fantasizing about an inanimateobjectCategories And Types• Form Fetish: The shape is important(high heels, feet, etc.)• Media Fetish: Material is important(silk, leather, satin, etc.)• Often collect objects, masturbatewhile handling objects, fail to achievean erection without objectFetishism and Partialism

CausesBig Picture• Much is unknown about whypeople develop fetishes• However, several theories havebeen proposedOperant Conditioning• Men become aroused in thepresence of women‟s panties• Presence of woman‟s pantiesbecomes linked to arousalCompensation Model• Men deprived of normal socialsexual contacts• Men feel insecure about theirmasculinity and potency → fearrejection• Mastery over inanimate objectsafeguards against potential rejection

Common FetishesThe List• Amputees• Corsets• Diaper• Foot• Food• Glove• Infantile• Leather• Rubber• Boot• Spandex• Swim cap• Tickling

A part time computer programmerand full-time mother comes homefrom the office early on Fridayafternoon to share a video and apizza with her 15 year old son,Lance. His bedroom seemsunusually quiet on this afternoon.Absent is the din of his favoriteSmashing Pumpkins CD. Shesaunters down the hallway whilecalling his name, pushes open hisbedroom door, and then collapseson the floor in a flood of emotionslaunched by a graphic scenedisplayed in the room before her.Lance‟s lifeless, semi-nude, bluishwhitebody hangs by the neck fromthe closet rod. The floor is litteredwith pornographic magazines, abottle of hand lotion, and severalarticles of women‟s underclothing.Though he hangs from a bar thatwould only meet him at eye level,his knees are bent and his fullweight hangs from the Disneynecktie he wore to his eighth gradegraduation. The knot cinched up tohis larynx resembles the bow thatone typically uses to ties one‟sshoes. The first two fingers of hislifeless right hand still grip one bowof the knot.

Risky BusinessWhat Is It?• People deprive themselves ofoxygen while masturbating in orderto enhance orgasmHow Is It Done?• Typically with a noose or slipknotaround the neck• Pornography, women‟s clothing,and other props typically presentWhy Do People Do It?• Lack of oxygen to the brain leadsto “hypoxia”• Euphoric• Giddiness• Diminished sense of control• Light-headedness• Exhilaration• No link between AEA andintentions of suicide

The Risks• 500-1000 people die per year• Heart attack• Permanent brain damage• People typically have a rescuemechanism• Citrus fruit• However, people can becomedisorientated from the hypoxia andbe unable to use safety mechanismRisky Business

Kinks and FetishesWhat‟s The Difference?• Fetishes are the attraction to aspecific inanimate object or activityinvolving a specific inanimateobject• Kinks are the attraction to atypicaland sometimes extreme sexualbehaviorsExamples of Kinks• Sadomasochism (S/M)• Domination & Submission (D&S)• Bondage, pain-play, whipping• Daddy/boy play• Water-sports• Enemas• Fisting• Cutting• Suspension

OverviewSadomasochism• Sadism: When a person repeatedlyand intentionally inflicts pain onothers in order to achieve sexualarousal• Masochism: When a personreceives sexual arousal primarilyfrom having pain and/orhumiliation inflicted on themDomination and Submission• Domination: Ruling over andcontrolling another individual(providing the humiliation)• Submission: Obeying and yieldingto another individual (beinghumiliated)

Who Does It?Two Groups• Sometimers: People who enjoyS/M occasionally• Lifestylers: People who prefer S/Mas their primary means of sexualgratificationDemographics: The Myth• Common portrayal: people intoS/M are psychologically derangedDemographics: Reality• S/M community populated withhighly educated, professionalsDemographics: The Reality• Education is key: Many S/Mscenarios require knowledge aboutphysiology• All religious backgrounds• 2 males for every 1 female• Kinsey (1953): 25% of men andwomen had an erotic response tobiting• Janus & Janus (1993): 16% of menand 12% of females believe pain andpleasure go together

The ABC‟s of D & SThe Credo: Safe, Sane, Consensual“A D&S relationship takes place in acontext of awareness. Its purposemay be emotional bonding, a way ofachieving new levels of intimacy; itmay be spiritual, seeking totranscend ego states. In the S/MD&S communities there is a rubricthat goes “Safe, Sane, andConsensual.” In my observation,the people who are engagedconsciously and volitionally in S/Mand D&S relationships by and largeadhere to this phrase.” –William A.HenkinSafe• AIDS awareness• Protection of vital organs• No meaningful/irreversibledamage to body• Safe words/safe gestures• Contracts are negotiated beforeplay begins• Couples will establish limitsand boundaries (i.e., “You canbite and leave hickies all overmy body except for my neck.”)

The ABC‟s of D & SSane“Everything within an S/Mexchange is done with the intent ofproducing physical or emotionalpleasure. This is the basis for thewhole scene and, simplistic as thestatement might seem, it is theuniversal key.” –Larry Townsend• The goal of S/M = pleasure for allthose participating (master andslave)• Abide by the limits establishedwithin the contractSane“In all S/M play both parties – topand bottom – agree to what they‟redoing, respect the other person fortrusting enough to allow the play tohappen, and revel in the fact thattrust has been established. One ofthe main things I get out of toppingsomeone is a fantastic thrill that theperson has faith in me and enoughtrust to put her body in my hands.A very deep sense of love andcloseness comes out of that.”– Robin Young

The ABC‟s of D & SConsensual“One of the things which distresses meimmensely, as a high-school teacher in aninner-city school, are the number of youngwomen who allow men to hit them, beatthem up, get them pregnant, and leave them.It‟s not D&S: It‟s something far morehorrifying than anything I would ever put upwith. And yet if I came out in my classroomand said, “Yes, I do this,” they would think Iwas sick. To me, those girls are slaves,because they allow men to do these thingsand don‟t question why. You have to be ableto question why somebody is doingsomething, even if you‟re submissive. If youlover or your master or you mistress is doingsomething to you that you feel is wrong, youquestion it.” –VictoriaConsensual• Clear, informed, verbalizedconsent is the moral dividing linebetween brutality and S/M• Abuse within the S/M communityis not tolerated• Abusive dominants will often facegroup criticism/ostracism

Big Picture Dynamics• Dominants: Daddy, Master, Top• Submissive: Boy, Slave, Bottom• The submissive obeys thecommands and surrenders controlover his/her body and action to thedominant (i.e., if the dominant tellsthe submissive to kneel, thesubmissive must obey)Common Activities• Bondage/restraints/pinning down• Why: Dominant is in controlWhat exactly goes on?

What exactly goes on?Common Activities• Pain play: Biting, slapping,whipping, punching, scratching• Why: Issuing and receiving painexemplifies the power dynamics• Breath play: Strangulation• Why: Dominant is in completecontrol of the submissive‟s life• Water Sports: Dominant willurinate on the submissive or makethe submissive drink his/her urine• Why: Territorial behaviorCommon Activities• Cutting: Use a razor to make smallincisions in a person‟s skin• Why: Small cuts releaseendorphins, establishes trust, sightof blood may be erotic• Headtrips/Ordering: Dominantwill order the submissive to dobehaviors• Why: exemplifies the powerdynamics, if the submissivedisobeys he/she will get punished

Why People Enjoy D&S?Trust and Bonding“When I submit I have to trustsomebody a lot more than I wouldordinarily think of trustingsomeone and I show a lot more ofmyself. That‟s very satisfying. It‟s asense of belonging, being at home,being comfortable.” –Rising Star• S/M relationships establish a deeptrust between 2 individualsTrust and BondingThe Bottom Is In Control• The submissive surrenders his/herpower, but also establishes the rulesand boundaries: (“I will let youwhip me, but I trust that you willnot whip me to the point of leavingpermanent scars.”)• With strangulation, thesubmissive is trusting the dominantwith his/her life• The dominant must abide by theestablished rules

Why People Enjoy D&S?Power Dynamics“A lot of people think S/M is aboutconquest: about domineering ratherthan domination. For me, that‟s notwhat it‟s about at all. When webegin to play there may be someresistance, because we‟re nottrained to gracefully surrenderpersonal power. Submission is analternate way of dealing withpower, a way of exploring thenature of your own power, how toaccess it and choosing to turn itover or not. Choice is the key. S/Mis a tool for surrender” –M. CybellePower Dynamics“My soul yearns to be able to letsomebody else take control, to beable to not have to make thedecisions, to not be concernedabout what errors I‟m going tomake.” –Slave V.Big Picture• Submissive yields all power todominant• Dominant has power oversubmissive

Power DynamicsWhy The Submissive Yields Power• Act of liberation (it‟s extremelycomforting to let someone elsecontrol your destiny)• Realization of profound need(submissives crave the feeling ofbeing controlled)• Deep psychological bond/trust isformed with dominant (this bondmay foster a very deep andprofound love with the dominant)• Realization of most forbiddensexual desiresWhy The Submissive Yields Power“I characterize my submissivenessmostly as a chance to let loose.After a day of making decisions, it isa chance to not be in control and tonot always have to worry abouteverything: letting somebody elsetake over.”

Why The Dominant Seizes Power“The personal enjoyment I derive is,first, intellectual: I can figure outwhat the person needs. Thenthere‟s aesthetic enjoyment:knowing how to do it. And there‟sknowing the level of trust that‟sgiven to me: It‟s a tremendoustrust.” –Cleo Dubois“When I top somebody, I know Ihave them in control, and I get anerotic rush out of their eroticrushes. Knowing my partner isgetting off on it is wonderful.” -JeanPower DynamicsWhy The Dominant Seizes Power• Exert absolute control overpartner‟s reality (holds the key tothe partners pleasure and controlswhen the submissive will climax)• Enjoy taking a strong,independent person and makingthem helpless (the sense of powerover another person is extremelyerotic)• Enjoy pushing the submissive‟slimits (Dominant may stretch theboundries a little – i.e., whip thesubmissive one extra time…)