A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swift - 912 Freedom Library

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan SwiftThe Project Gutenberg EBook of A Modest Proposal, by Jonathan SwiftThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.orgTitle: A Modest ProposalFor preventing the children of poor people in Ireland,from being a burden on their parents or country, and formaking them beneficial to the publick - 1729Author: Jonathan SwiftRelease Date: July 27, 2008 [EBook #1080]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ASCII*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MODEST PROPOSAL ***Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David WidgerA MODEST PROPOSALFor preventing the children of poor people in Ireland,from being a burden on their parents or country,and for making them beneficial to the publick.by Dr. Jonathan Swift1729It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through thisgreat town, or travel in the country, when they see thestreets, the roads and cabbin-doors crowded with beggars ofthe female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, allin rags, and importuning every passenger for an alms. Thesemothers instead of being able to work for their honesthttp://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swiftlivelihood, are forced to employ all their time in stroling tobeg sustenance for their helpless infants who, as they growup, either turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dearnative country, to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sellthemselves to the Barbadoes.I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigiousnumber of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at theheels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is inthe present deplorable state of the kingdom, a very greatadditional grievance; and therefore whoever could find outa fair, cheap and easy method of making these childrensound and useful members of the common-wealth, woulddeserve so well of the publick, as to have his statue set upfor a preserver of the nation.But my intention is very far from being confined toprovide only for the children of professed beggars: it is of amuch greater extent, and shall take in the whole number ofinfants at a certain age, who are born of parents in effect aslittle able to support them, as those who demand our charityin the streets.As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for manyyears, upon this important subject, and maturely weighedthe several schemes of our projectors, I have always foundthem grossly mistaken in their computation. It is true, achild just dropt from its dam, may be supported by her milk,for a solar year, with little other nourishment: at most notabove the value of two shillings, which the mother maycertainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawfuloccupation of begging; and it is exactly at one year old thatI propose to provide for them in such a manner, as, insteadof being a charge upon their parents, or the parish, orwanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, theyshall, on the contrary, contribute to the feeding, and partlyto the cloathing of many thousands.There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme,that it will prevent those voluntary abortions, and thathorrid practice of women murdering their bastard children,alas! too frequent among us, sacrificing the poor innocentbabes, I doubt, more to avoid the expence than the shame,http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swiftwhich would move tears and pity in the most savage andinhuman breast.The number of souls in this kingdom being usuallyreckoned one million and a half, of these I calculate theremay be about two hundred thousand couple whose wivesare breeders; from which number I subtract thirty thousandcouple, who are able to maintain their own children,(although I apprehend there cannot be so many, under thepresent distresses of the kingdom) but this being granted,there will remain an hundred and seventy thousandbreeders. I again subtract fifty thousand, for those womenwho miscarry, or whose children die by accident or diseasewithin the year. There only remain an hundred and twentythousand children of poor parents annually born. Thequestion therefore is, How this number shall be reared, andprovided for? which, as I have already said, under thepresent situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all themethods hitherto proposed. For we can neither employ themin handicraft or agriculture; we neither build houses, (Imean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can veryseldom pick up a livelihood by stealing till they arrive at sixyears old; except where they are of towardly parts, althoughI confess they learn the rudiments much earlier; duringwhich time they can however be properly looked upon onlyas probationers: As I have been informed by a principalgentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to me,that he never knew above one or two instances under theage of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned forthe quickest proficiency in that art.I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl beforetwelve years old, is no saleable commodity, and even whenthey come to this age, they will not yield above threepounds, or three pounds and half a crown at most, on theexchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parentsor kingdom, the charge of nutriments and rags having beenat least four times that value.I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts,which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.I have been assured by a very knowing American of myhttp://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swiftacquaintance in London, that a young healthy child wellnursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing andwholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled;and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasie,or a ragoust.I do therefore humbly offer it to publick consideration,that of the hundred and twenty thousand children, alreadycomputed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed,whereof only one fourth part to be males; which is morethan we allow to sheep, black cattle, or swine, and myreason is, that these children are seldom the fruits ofmarriage, a circumstance not much regarded by oursavages, therefore, one male will be sufficient to serve fourfemales. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at ayear old, be offered in sale to the persons of quality andfortune, through the kingdom, always advising the motherto let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to renderthem plump, and fat for a good table. A child will maketwo dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when thefamily dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make areasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt,will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially inwinter.I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just bornwill weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerablynursed, encreaseth to 28 pounds.I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and thereforevery proper for landlords, who, as they have alreadydevoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title tothe children.Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year, butmore plentiful in March, and a little before and after; forwe are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician,that fish being a prolifick dyet, there are more children bornin Roman Catholick countries about nine months after Lent,the markets will be more glutted than usual, because thenumber of Popish infants, is at least three to one in thiskingdom, and therefore it will have one other collateraladvantage, by lessening the number of Papists among us.http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan SwiftI have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar'schild (in which list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, andfour-fifths of the farmers) to be about two shillings perannum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman wouldrepine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fatchild, which, as I have said, will make four dishes ofexcellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particularfriend, or his own family to dine with him. Thus the squirewill learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular amonghis tenants, the mother will have eight shillings neat profit,and be fit for work till she produces another child.Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the timesrequire) may flea the carcass; the skin of which, artificiallydressed, will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summerboots for fine gentlemen.As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed forthis purpose, in the most convenient parts of it, and butcherswe may be assured will not be wanting; although I ratherrecommend buying the children alive, and dressing themhot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, andwhose virtues I highly esteem, was lately pleased, indiscoursing on this matter, to offer a refinement upon myscheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this kingdom,having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that thewant of venison might be well supply'd by the bodies ofyoung lads and maidens, not exceeding fourteen years ofage, nor under twelve; so great a number of both sexes inevery country being now ready to starve for want of workand service: And these to be disposed of by their parents ifalive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with duedeference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving apatriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to themales, my American acquaintance assured me fromfrequent experience, that their flesh was generally toughand lean, like that of our school-boys, by continual exercise,and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would notanswer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think,with humble submission, be a loss to the publick, becausethey soon would become breeders themselves: And besides,http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swiftimportance.For first, as I have already observed, it would greatlylessen the number of Papists, with whom we are yearlyover-run, being the principal breeders of the nation, as wellas our most dangerous enemies, and who stay at home onpurpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to thePretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence ofso many good Protestants, who have chosen rather to leavetheir country, than stay at home and pay tithes against theirconscience to an episcopal curate.Secondly, The poorer tenants will have somethingvaluable of their own, which by law may be made liable toa distress, and help to pay their landlord's rent, their cornand cattle being already seized, and money a thingunknown.Thirdly, Whereas the maintainance of an hundredthousand children, from two years old, and upwards, cannotbe computed at less than ten shillings a piece per annum,the nation's stock will be thereby encreased fifty thousandpounds per annum, besides the profit of a new dish,introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in thekingdom, who have any refinement in taste. And the moneywill circulate among our selves, the goods being entirely ofour own growth and manufacture.Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eightshillings sterling per annum by the sale of their children,will be rid of the charge of maintaining them after the firstyear.Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom totaverns, where the vintners will certainly be so prudent as toprocure the best receipts for dressing it to perfection; andconsequently have their houses frequented by all the finegentlemen, who justly value themselves upon theirknowledge in good eating; and a skilful cook, whounderstands how to oblige his guests, will contrive to makeit as expensive as they please.Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage,which all wise nations have either encouraged by rewards,http://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swiftor enforced by laws and penalties. It would encrease thecare and tenderness of mothers towards their children, whenthey were sure of a settlement for life to the poor babes,provided in some sort by the publick, to their annual profitinstead of expence. We should soon see an honest emulationamong the married women, which of them could bring thefattest child to the market. Men would become as fond oftheir wives, during the time of their pregnancy, as they arenow of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sow whenthey are ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (asis too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage.Many other advantages might be enumerated. Forinstance, the addition of some thousand carcasses in ourexportation of barrel'd beef: the propagation of swine'sflesh, and improvement in the art of making good bacon, somuch wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, toofrequent at our tables; which are no way comparable in tasteor magnificence to a well grown, fat yearly child, whichroasted whole will make a considerable figure at a LordMayor's feast, or any other publick entertainment. But this,and many others, I omit, being studious of brevity.Supposing that one thousand families in this city, wouldbe constant customers for infants flesh, besides others whomight have it at merry meetings, particularly at weddingsand christenings, I compute that Dublin would take offannually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest ofthe kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhatcheaper) the remaining eighty thousand.I can think of no one objection, that will possibly beraised against this proposal, unless it should be urged, thatthe number of people will be thereby much lessened in thekingdom. This I freely own, and 'twas indeed one principaldesign in offering it to the world. I desire the reader willobserve, that I calculate my remedy for this one individualKingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, Ithink, ever can be upon Earth. Therefore let no man talk tome of other expedients: Of taxing our absentees at fiveshillings a pound: Of using neither cloaths, nor housholdfurniture, except what is of our own growth andmanufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials andhttp://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swiftinstruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing theexpensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in ourwomen: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence andtemperance: Of learning to love our country, wherein wediffer even from Laplanders, and the inhabitants ofTopinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions, noracting any longer like the Jews, who were murdering oneanother at the very moment their city was taken: Of being alittle cautious not to sell our country and consciences fornothing: Of teaching landlords to have at least one degreeof mercy towards their tenants. Lastly, of putting a spirit ofhonesty, industry, and skill into our shop-keepers, who, if aresolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods,would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in theprice, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet bebrought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, thoughoften and earnestly invited to it.Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and thelike expedients, 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope,that there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt toput them into practice.But, as to my self, having been wearied out for manyyears with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and atlength utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell uponthis proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hathsomething solid and real, of no expence and little trouble,full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no dangerin disobliging England. For this kind of commodity will notbear exportation, and flesh being of too tender aconsistence, to admit a long continuance in salt, althoughperhaps I could name a country, which would be glad to eatup our whole nation without it.After all, I am not so violently bent upon my ownopinion, as to reject any offer, proposed by wise men,which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, andeffectual. But before something of that kind shall beadvanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering abetter, I desire the author or authors will be pleasedmaturely to consider two points. First, As things now stand,how they will be able to find food and raiment for ahttp://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

A Modest Proposal, by Dr. Jonathan Swifthundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly,There being a round million of creatures in humane figurethroughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put intoa common stock, would leave them in debt two million ofpounds sterling, adding those who are beggars byprofession, to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers,with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect; Idesire those politicians who dislike my overture, and mayperhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that they will firstask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not atthis day think it a great happiness to have been sold forfood at a year old, in the manner I prescribe, and therebyhave avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as theyhave since gone through, by the oppression of landlords, theimpossibility of paying rent without money or trade, thewant of common sustenance, with neither house nor cloathsto cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and themost inevitable prospect of intailing the like, or greatermiseries, upon their breed for ever.I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not theleast personal interest in endeavouring to promote thisnecessary work, having no other motive than the publickgood of my country, by advancing our trade, providing forinfants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to therich. I have no children, by which I can propose to get asingle penny; the youngest being nine years old, and mywife past child-bearing.End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Modest Proposal, by Jonathan Swift*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MODEST PROPOSAL ******** This file should be named 1080-h.htm or 1080-h.zip *****This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:http://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/8/1080/Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David WidgerUpdated editions will replace the previous one--the old editionswill be renamed.Creating the works from public domain print editions means that noone owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States withoutpermission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply tocopying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works toprotect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. ProjectGutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if youcharge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If youdo not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with therules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purposehttp://www.gutenberg.org/files/1080/1080-h/1080-h.htm[12/17/2009 11:56:02 PM]

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