STakeholderS' - Doczine

herlife | just sayin’Gratitude forAll Momsby joanne dimarco | photo by jill richardsonIrecall the opening scene in the book I Don’t Know How She Does It: The Lifeof Kate Reddy, Working Mother by Allison Pearson. The main character, aworking mother, is in her kitchen at midnight, beating up a store-bought pieto make it look homemade for the school holiday event. She didn’t want to bethought of as “one of those mothers.” I can relate. I have been a working momsince I gave birth to my first child on a Friday, and conducted a sales meetingon Monday. Although I never felt guilty for the choice to work outside thehome, I did worry about what others thought of my choice and how it wouldimpact my children.I was not only a working mom, but during most of the time my childrenwere growing up, I was a single mom as well. This may not seem unusual in2012, but 25 years ago, this was not the norm. I knew other moms were gettingtheir children off the bus, hearing immediately how their day went. As a single,working mom, I was at work, making sales calls or negotiating deals. I wouldn’tget to hear the details of their day until much later. To keep pace with my malecounterparts, as I have often said, I had to look like a woman but think like man.My work often included lots of meetings, travel, supporting various charitableevents and working during non-traditional hours. From the age of 9, my childrenvolunteered next to me, attending fundraisers and galas, or playing the EasterBunny or Santa Claus at events—not the typical family weekend activities theirfriends participated in. As mothers we all had our roles. Other moms were askedto sew costumes for the dance company. I was asked to help negotiate the leasefor the new dance school. While the other children at school wanted to playhouse, mine wanted to play office. I often wondered what my children werelearning from these experiences and what they might be missing.My children are now 25, 23 and 18. The oldest has her Bachelor’s degree,the middle one her Master’s and the youngest is a freshman in college. I finallyrealize what they learned. They learned how to set goals and achieve them.They learned a great work ethic, each working from the time they were 14. Theylearned how to dress for success, how to talk to adults and how to conduct themselvesin a business environment. They learned the importance of volunteeringand giving back to the community, time management, the power of networkingand the importance of never burning a bridge.I am eternally grateful to those moms who picked up my children frompractice when I ran late in an appointment, took them to rehearsal when I had to46 HERLIFEnewyork.comwork on Saturday, picked them up from school if they were sickor kept them overnight when I had to travel. I am also gratefulto finally return the favor. As the children of those moms whohelped me are graduating college, they now reach out to me forhelp with a résumé, to use me as a reference or use my contactsto get an interview. I go out of my way whenever I can to returnthe favor.My 23-year-old was recently looking to purchase a car. I toldher to call a contact of mine. She said, “Mom, I can’t use yourcontacts for everything.” I told her that although I may not havemade homemade pies for the bake sale, this is now what I couldgive—my contacts.As we remember what we are grateful for, I want to thankthe moms who helped me, and want them to know that I amhere for your children as well. I may not have been at the PTAmeeting but I am helping your child now as they enter the workplace.They say it takes a village to raise a child. I have learnedthat it takes all different kinds of moms. There is no perfectmother, whether you work in the home or outside the home.Let’s support each other. I, for one, will not be beating up anypies this Thanksgiving. Just sayin’. ■Joanne DiMarco has lived most of her life in upstate New York, graduating from Shenendehowa High School and Paul Smith’s Collegewith a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management. After a successful career in the hospitality industry, Joanne transitioned intoSales and Marketing. She is currently the Vice President of Select Sotheby’s International Realty. She never lost her love of the restaurantindustry and has turned that passion to writing about food for HerLife Magazine.Joanne is known throughout upstate New York for her extensive network of friends and clients and for her exceptional fundraisingabilities and charitable works. She is a sought after speaker on the topics of outside the box marketing, experiential marketing, AdirondackHospitality and the art of networking.