leaving well guidelines ~ deacons - The Episcopal Diocese of ...

LEAVING WELL GUIDELINES ~ DEACONSWe are blessed in this diocese with many wonderful deacons who faithfully serve thecongregations to which they have been assigned. The unfortunate reality is that we have moreparishes than deacons, so we need to move our deacons every few years to try to give everyparish an opportunity to experience the profound and meaningful ministry of the diaconate.When it is time to be reassigned, the leaving and the letting go can be difficult; thus doing bothwell will help to insure a healthy transition for the rector, the staff, and for the parish. Thefollowing guidelines, though often difficult for both deacon and parish, provide a context forhealthy disengagement and closure so that everyone can move forward in their respectivemissions.The deacon must:Remove all personal belongings from the church including books and vestments.Give all parish keys and other parish belongings in his or her control to the rector.If a discretionary fund and any other funds were in his or her control, these should beturned over to the rector. If a deacon has a discretionary fund, it should be held by theparish and be part of the parish’s official auditing practices. We discourage deaconsfrom having discretionary funds, preferring that they work with the rector of the parishre: the disbursement of funds.The deacon will inform the rector, wardens, vestry and congregation that he or she agrees:Not to serve members of the congregations pastorally, nor listen to or comment on theactivities of past, current or future clergy.Not to be available to participate in weddings, baptisms, funerals or other services at hisor her former parish except by specific invitation of the rector, and then only for aweighty cause.Not to attend any social activities at his or her former parish unless invited by the rector.If the parish is in an interim time between rectors, not to meet with members of the parishduring the interim period. When the newly called priest is fully and comfortablyintegrated into the life of the parish and established as the new leader, a conversation withthe new rector about appropriate nonparish related relationships with the parishionersmay be discussed.Saying Farewell Liturgically:If appropriate, the departing deacon should be invited to preach on his or her last Sunday. Ifpreaching is not the deacon’s gift, then time should be allotted during the service for the deaconto comment upon the ministry that they have shared with the congregation, the “seeds ofministry” that have been planted, and to identify for the congregation the “farmers” who will bethe overseers (chair people) of these ministries.

If desired, following the postcommunion prayer of thanksgiving, a special prayer of dedicationmay be offered. The rector and lay leaders, representing the continuation of the ministries whichthe deacon helped to strengthen, renew, or begin, may lay their hands on the deacon while therector prays, i.e., Gracious God, we thank you for the work and witness of your servant, N., whohas enriched this community and has brought gladness to our hearts. We thank you for the giftsof ministry that you have given to her/him and we thank you for her/his willingness to share thosegifts with us. May we, with your help and strengthened by the Holy Spirit, nurture the seedswhich she/he has planted in the areas of _______, ______, and _____. May she/he return to usfrom time to time and find these ministries thriving. And may we always give you the glory forthe transformative work that she/he began doing at Parish Name in your name.Holy Father, we now ask you to bless and preserve N. as she/he begins her/his life in retirement.Guide her/him in the continued use of your gifts. Give her/him sustenance for temporal andspiritual needs; surround her/him with friends to cheer her/his way; and give her/him a clearvision of the ministry to which you are now calling her/him. By your Holy Spirit, be present inher/his pilgrimage, that she/he may travel with your Son who is our Way, who is our Truth, andwho is our Life, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.Saying Farewell Pastorally:A small committee of people close to the deacon should be formed. This committee, with therector’s input, will take on the task of giving the parish an opportunity to celebrate the years thatthey have shared in ministry with the deacon. It is appropriate to give the deacon personal giftsas well as to make a gift to the ministry or ministries that the deacon is personally and deeplyinvolved. The congregation may be solicited for donations, but it is important that thecongregation be made aware of how those donations will be used. If more funds are collectedthen are needed for the special gifts and/or the reception, the remainder may be given to thedeacon as a special “purse” to be used at their own discretion.It should also be remembered that the deacon is not the only person going through a transitionwhen they depart. A church staff also must realize that they, too, will experience a loss. This caneasily be overlooked when the focus is solely on the deacon and their departure and can result in aloss of “closure”. Thus it is a good idea for the church staff, with the deacon, to have a specialtime (such as a lunch at the rector’s expense! ) to share fellowship, to celebrate theirrelationships, and to say farewell.