Harleys and Sex - Baker Drivetrain

A Mile a MinuteSTEPHEN BERNERNumbersNumbers can be pretty interestingand a few observances lately haveforced me to take note of the multiplicityof functions that numbers perform—andtheir ability to inform, persuade,document, divide and annoy.So first off, the economy: its all about thenumbers, right? I mean, this is a topic thatis in all of our faces. It has deeply affected allAmericans and in addition it’s spanked therest of the world. I’ve been hearing about aneconomic recovery, as if we really (and behonest now) think our economy will ever recoverback to its inflated, bloated, “it can’tbe sustained” level. So what is driving thisoutbound messaging from the news mediaand government spokes-pundits telling ushow good things are and how much betterthey are going to get? Well numbers are drivingthis flurry of positive news of course, inthis instance wrapped in the near intellectuallyimpenetrable cloak of statistics.So when I listen to the news I hear: Don’twa-da-tah to the shama cow... ‘causethat’s a cama cama leepa-chaiii, dig?*… if, that is, I can get past the distractingnon-stop bombardment of broadcastgraphics and logo animations. Honestly,who needs Pootie Tang giving you thenews that your house is on fire and thatyou’ve got a problem? Not me. Not onlycan I smell the smoke, I am pretty muchblinded by it, thank you very much.So another interesting aspect of the rolethat numbers provide is one of documentation.Numbers give the ranking of thingsand events and tell you what is important;they direct your attention. When you holdthe number one spot, in I don’t care whatendeavor, you are going to want to let peopleknow and people are going to hold youin high regard. And if you are last, well, yousuck and should be dismissed, right?Weeelll… maybe…If you strictly go bythe numbers that is. But as life hasshown, if we dig past the numbers welearn that sometimes the best races arethose held mid-pack and the best storiesin competition come from the “losers.”Sometimes the numbers don’t tell the“whole truth,” whatever that might be.Numbers also help you assign credibilityand allocate your attention. If the guy nextBrian Klock and Stephen Berner, December 2010to you is telling you about how he put50,000 miles on his two-wheeler in twoyears, you are going to respect his effortsand are going to want to hear his story. Imean, how could you not? This is opposedto the joker in stiff Korean pleathers who’scornered you in an adult beverage establishment,pursuing you (Hey, bro) to lectureabout his special take on the“lifestyle” after 16 light beers. The numbersact as signposts in these instances,indications on the trail, turn left here.Like a moneyed guy who has no experienceand compensates (or so he thinks,)by flashing his Presidential in your face,some folks use their numbers as a way todemonstrate they are cool and to put upthe “hand,” to assert themselves in a conversation.When I hear someone rambling onabout how many years they’ve been ridingand how many bikes they’ve owned andhow many pins they’ve bought and howmany rallies they’ve attended (you gettingthe picture yet?) as way of assertingthemselves in a dialogue, I know it’s timeto turn tail and run. I see this happenwhen gray hairs meet hipsters, and I feelbad that they feel the need to get allpompous, when in fact they should beusing their own personal numbers to engenderthe support of these younger guysand harness some of their good energy.So now you might think that I am ahatin’ on numbers and being a big old doggie-downer.But numbers do some spectacularlygood things, too. They inform ustwo-wheeler folks of just how powerful wecould be if we could collectively get our actin order; we do have some powerful numberswhen looked at en masse. But again,numbers. We are so terribly fractionatedas a group, so splintered, there is littlehope of us pulling together unless somethingdramatically changes the way welook at the numbers ourselves. I think legislationmight be a catalyst for such athing. We are collectively getting fed up.Numbers tell us that the investment wemade in motor work not only feels good,but quantifiably works well, too—and converselyinforms us when we’ve erred. Couldbe that carb was too big, the compressiontoo high, the timing too far advanced.Numbers also inform our advertiserswhen they’ve made the right decision inspending their dollars with IronWorks. Helpingmake those numbers look attractive, wecan thank our “pay to play” readers, subscribers,and newsstand purchasers – (notthe slugs who stand at the newsstand andread IronWorks,) who buy IronWorks andbuy our advertisers’ products. We appreciateyour support folks, really we do.There is one group of numbers I’d liketo see transformed though, and that isthe number of folks who regularly consumeour digital content and don’t botherpurchasing our print. If we could get ourdigital friends and fans to sign up and supportIW we’d be rock steady in thesetimes of “numerical distress.”So if you are not a subscriber to IW’sprint magazine and like what you see, I’d liketo ask you to support us by signing up for asubscription. Finding us on the newsstand istough due to the shrinking amount of spacestores are willing to allocate to magazines,so if you want to get an uninterruptedstream of IW and support our cause, subscribetoday. Our numbers thank you!Stephen BernerSteveb@steveb.biz* Quoted from Chris Rock’s movie Pootie Tang6 IronWorks May/June 2011