Pick Ups - Alex Broun
Pick Ups - Alex Broun Pick Ups - Alex Broun
50WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:You know the guys earlier on who were pulling down their pants infront of the girls' toilets. "I'll show you mine if you show meyours." Half of them you couldn't see it it was that small.He wasn't one of them. I would've noticed.You're too pissed by now to notice anything.So are you.It just proves my point. No one who hangs out here is alright.SUSIE: Then why do we come here ?PAUSE. WENDY LOOKS AT SUZY - AGHAST.WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:Because we're friends, because there's nowhere else to go and because thedrinks are free for girls before twelve. It's part of the routine. We comehere to drink and chat, not to be picked up.You're just pissed off that no one ever tries to get on to you.That's not true. I wouldn't want any of these losers. I put up the "notinterested" sign, that's why they stay away. Unlike you. You're all over theplace. You'd flirt with the cigarette machine. Look, what have you evergot here ? One night stands and maniacs.Not all of them.What about Mike ? The one you met in the Gents.What about him ? We were together for six weeks.More like six hours. Same with Bruce and Tony and Gary. Andwhat about, what was his name ? Len. Len and the video camera.He only suggested it."I just want to remember how beautiful you are." Yeah, and sell a copy toall his mates. Weirdos and perverts. Every single one of them. Next time -just say no. Try it. You'll feel better. You don't have to take every offerthat comes along. You're better than that.BRETT APPROACHES.WENDY:Red alert. Here he comes. Remember - no.
51SUSIE:BRETT:WENDY:(PRACTISING) No.Hello.Good evening.BRETT: You're the two girls from the play right ?WENDY:Actually we're their twin sisters.BRETT LOOKS CONFUSED, THEN:BRETT:WENDY:Oh, right.Quick.BRETT: What did you think ?SUSIE:Pretty full on. (SHE LAUGHS)BRETT: Yeah, what about that guy with the beanie and then he had -WENDY LOOKS AT HIM. PAUSE.BRETT: So, you two alone ?WENDY:BRETT:WENDY:Actually we're meeting someone.Not here yet eh ? Me mate, you remember - Ian, he sentme over to see if we could buy you both a drink.No thanks.BRETT: Free drink. Wouldn't knock that back would you ?WENDY: They're free for girls tonight. Can't you read ?BRETT:WENDY:BRETT:Yeah but you only get that watered down beer shit. Wewant to buy you the real stuff. Top shelf. How about acouple of cocktails ? Can't say no to that.Want to make a bet.(TO SUSIE) What about you Susie ? Fluffy duck. Grasshopper.Margharita. How about a Tequila slammer ? Seven bucks each. Can't passthat up. Well ?
- Page 5 and 6: 5This production then toured to:L'A
- Page 8 and 9: 8IAN: Do what ?SUSIE LAUGHS.WENDY:I
- Page 10 and 11: 10USHER: Could I see your tickets p
- Page 13 and 14: 13ANGELA:PETER:ANGELA:PETER:ANGELA:
- Page 15 and 16: 153. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin (
- Page 17 and 18: Primera Feria Hemisférica de Educa
- Page 19 and 20: 19NICK: Well ?SIMONE: What about he
- Page 21 and 22: 216. THE RE-CONSTRUCTED FEMALE.NIGH
- Page 23 and 24: 23WAYNE:NATALIE:WAYNE:NATALIE:I pro
- Page 26 and 27: 267. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin (
- Page 28 and 29: 28LYDIA:PETER:LYDIA:PETER:LYDIA:PET
- Page 30 and 31: 309. WHO GETS KILLED ?REBECCA AND G
- Page 33 and 34: 3311. BACHELOR OF SLEAZE.DANCE PART
- Page 35 and 36: 35KORRY:Women like men who can appr
- Page 37 and 38: 3712. THE SURE THINGGINA AT BAR. BA
- Page 39 and 40: 39BARRY: Yes. (PAUSE) What's your o
- Page 42 and 43: 42FIONA:IAN:Both. Hey, this is fun.
- Page 44 and 45: 4414. MR SKAGCORINNE STANDS AT THE
- Page 46 and 47: 4615. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin
- Page 48 and 49: 4817. BEER.IAN:Beer. Beer. Beer. (P
- Page 52 and 53: 52PAUSE.SUSIE:BRETT:WENDY:No.Come o
- Page 54 and 55: 54IAN:SUSIE:IAN:SUSIE:BRETT:Play it
- Page 56 and 57: 5619. PREDATORMICHAEL AND BETTINA S
- Page 58 and 59: 5820. SYDNEYNEIL, PETER, JANELLE AN
- Page 60 and 61: 60NICK:Watch what he does.THEY WATC
- Page 62 and 63: 6222. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin
- Page 64 and 65: 64THE STAGE MANAGER ENTERS.STAGE MA
- Page 66 and 67: 66CHEERS. THE SOUND OF WEDDING BELL
- Page 68 and 69: 68A. LOVE IS THE DRUGMANDY IS WAITI
- Page 70 and 71: 70MANDY: You want to talk to a woma
- Page 72 and 73: 72B. WARREN, THE RELUCTANT VIRGIN 6
- Page 75 and 76: 75GINA:MARK:You sound like the perf
- Page 77 and 78: 77GINA:(CONT) performance utilising
- Page 79 and 80: 79E. IS THIS A DEPOSIT OR A WITHDRA
- Page 81 and 82: 81G. BYRONGREG AND HELEN.HELEN:GREG
- Page 83 and 84: 83DOMINIQUE:Delicious.MARTIN: Delig
- Page 85 and 86: 85GREG:HELEN:GREG:Could be fun.You'
- Page 87 and 88: 87JANELLE: Thank you. (PAUSE) You w
- Page 89 and 90: 89WENDY:IAN:WENDY:What does it look
- Page 91: 91BRETT: What are we gonna do ?IAN:
50WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:You know the guys earlier on who were pulling down their pants infront of the girls' toilets. "I'll show you mine if you show meyours." Half of them you couldn't see it it was that small.He wasn't one of them. I would've noticed.You're too pissed by now to notice anything.So are you.It just proves my point. No one who hangs out here is alright.SUSIE: Then why do we come here ?PAUSE. WENDY LOOKS AT SUZY - AGHAST.WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:Because we're friends, because there's nowhere else to go and because thedrinks are free for girls before twelve. It's part of the routine. We comehere to drink and chat, not to be picked up.You're just pissed off that no one ever tries to get on to you.That's not true. I wouldn't want any of these losers. I put up the "notinterested" sign, that's why they stay away. Unlike you. You're all over theplace. You'd flirt with the cigarette machine. Look, what have you evergot here ? One night stands and maniacs.Not all of them.What about Mike ? The one you met in the Gents.What about him ? We were together for six weeks.More like six hours. Same with Bruce and Tony and Gary. Andwhat about, what was his name ? Len. Len and the video camera.He only suggested it."I just want to remember how beautiful you are." Yeah, and sell a copy toall his mates. Weirdos and perverts. Every single one of them. Next time -just say no. Try it. You'll feel better. You don't have to take every offerthat comes along. You're better than that.BRETT APPROACHES.WENDY:Red alert. Here he comes. Remember - no.
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