R E S T A U R A N T P O L L B A L L O T P . 4 6 - The Austin Chronicle

ARTS THE ARTSBOOKSSTYLEafter a fashion BY STEPHEN MACM ILLAN MOS ERSPRUNG It is undeniable that spring hassprung, damnit. Now I find myself woefullyoverdressed. I keep wanting to feel lighter,lighter! But the ugly reality is that I’m heavier.That’s what being a vegetable in recuperationcan do for you. Some things get better, andsome things get worse. Right now I rarelyleave the house out here in the sticks, butduring South by Southwest, I crossed overWilliam Cannon so often that I thought Ishould call him Bill. Fortunately it was nonetoo warm during SXSW, and I could restyleprevious cool-weather outfits. But these lovelyspring nights when it’s so mild you can’t tellif it’s warm or cool, I can no longer just tosson this blouse and that sweater with thatjacket. Chances will be good that whateverworks for the morning will not work for theafternoon. And I have a thousand events comingup. ArtErotica is one of my all-time favoriteparties – racy and ritzy. Lord knows whatI’ll come up with for that party. ArtErotica isSaturday, April 17, 8:30pm, at Pine StreetStation, 1101 E. Fifth. ArtErotica is a fundraiserby the Octopus Club, and tickets areavailable at the website (www.octopusclub.org).I’m considering a thong and tube top ensemble.But a thong and tube top will never do forthe Umlauf Garden Party. This award-winningfundraiser is for the Umlauf SculptureGarden & Museum (www.umlaufsculpture.org).Along with the event’s dazzling selection offood and wine, there are a number of silentauction packages with a new “buy it now”feature, including packages for the man inyour life and his best (male) buddy and apackage of original design by Ace Tailors.Along with the famous Celebrity Seedsauction (planters designed by local and internationalcelebs), the party features the NashHernandez Orchestra for your dancing andlistening pleasure. I have a white linen suitsomewhere in my wardrobe that I shouldwear with a straw fedora. The Women andTheir Work spring gala, Body of Art, is sureto be faboo. It’ll be at Deborah Green andClayton Aynesworth’s to-die-for mansionand will feature works from international artcelebrities such as Jenny Holtzer, RichardDiebenkorn, Joan Mitchell, Andy Warhol,Spencer Finch, and dozens more. Livehuman sculpture and tableaux will be foundin unexpected places, and all ticket info canbe found at the Women and Their Work website(www.womenandtheirwork.org). This willrequire a very creative outfit. Hmmm. Perhapssomething convertible (and no, I do not meanI’ll be taking my top down). Creativity will alsobe in order for the Austin Museum of Art(www.amoa.org) annual Art Ball. I mean, I’llhave to be creative for this since I can’t possiblywear a combination of clothes andaccessories that have been seen before.And it’s so hard to keep track.SOS For some unknown reason I was onlinelooking at emergency survival kits. Theyhad some terrific ones with no-batteriesneededradios, flashlights, cell phone adapters,and weather radios. There were deluxekits with an entire clinic’s worth of first aid,as well as tarps, reflective blankets, and somuch more. My very favorite one came in a5-gallon bucket that was fitted with a toiletseat on top. But it was obvious that everysingle one of them was missing criticallyimportant items such as mirrors, perfume,makeup, music, and other fun things to dowhen your home has been destroyed. Iremember working somewhere that I gottons of perfume tester bottles. When I wastired of many of them, I knew I still hadsome rare and desirable fragrances anddecided the nicest thing I could do was givethe boxes of bottles to the homeless shelterso that the homeless could smell pretty, too.I mean, really, just because you’re down andout shouldn’t mean you can’t smell pretty.But I digress. What kind of emergency kitdoesn’t have extra lipstick and mascara? Wecan live without foundation if we have to, butto go out without lipstick and mascara? Well,I’d rather be dead. If I were lying theretrapped under a collapsed building and hadto wait three or four days for rescue, thenyou can bet I’d want to look my best whenmy saviors arrive.SEABROOK JONES/WWW.JUICYTHIS.COMThe moon shall shine brightly overthis year’s ArtErotica.Write to our Style Avatar with your related events,news, and hautey bits: style@austinchronicle.com orPO Box 49066, Austin, TX 78765 or 458-6910 (fax).YOU ARE HEREFIND YOURSEXY SIDERegister in any of Goodwill’s stores for a chance to win great prizes, like a $5,000closet system from California Closets. Visit www.AustinGoodwill.org for details.SPONSORED BY38 T H E A U S T I N C H R O N I C L E APRIL 9, 2010 a u s t i n c h r o n i c l e . c o m2100 S LAMAR@ OLTORFSOUTH AUSTIN326-9999600 E BEN WHITE@ IH-35SOUTH AUSTIN383-061114106 N IH-35@ OWEN TECHNORTH AUSTIN670-7444