R E S T A U R A N T P O L L B A L L O T P . 4 6 - The Austin Chronicle

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Let’s begin, shall we?BonyPart, 60, , #132860LOVERS LANE7-day pass ......... $10.0030-day pass ....... $20.0090-day pass ....... $40.00Each pass gives you all-access, unlimited searching,browsing, e-mailing, calling, and responding.Flavor of the WeeksecretsexyAge: 31subtle, secret & sexycurrently enjoying the idea of no strings attachedencounters with yummy men or maybe even a hotcouple...i’m an experienced lady that would enjoyteaching some tricks or being pleasantly surprised by an expert!read the rest of SECRETSEXY’s profileor enter your own profile for FREE online ataustinchronicle.com/easystreetfree!CREATEA PROFILE ANDBROWSE MORE ADS ONLINE!austinchronicle.com/easystreetaustinchronicle.com/loverslaneGET ON THE LIST & GET THE LUV DOC ALL UPIN YOUR INBOX EVERY WEEKaustinchronicle.com / luvdoclistYou’ve probably heard the old folk tales about the days when Austin was dirt cheap,scruffy, and unpretentious. They’re mostly lies. Yes, it’s true that back in the day youused to be able to buy a six-pack of Texas Pride for $1.25 at the H-E-B … and yes, theWhip In convenience store on Burton Drive used to sell packages of nitrous oxide …and it’s true that hookers – real,skanky, foul-mouthed hookers– used to troll SoCo nightly.However, unless you like beerthat tastes like it’s been left outin the sun all week (Texas Prideshould have been called “TexasPerseverance”), and unless youlike waking up with a menagerieof inexplicable bruises (no,The Luv DocThe Austin Outhouse ReunionFriday-Sunday, April 9-11www.theaustinouthouse.comyou can’t run through brick walls, even if you’ve been huffing), and unless you’ve beenaccosted by a female prostitute who looks like a dude who let a 4-year-old apply his/herlipstick, then even in the softest lens of retrospect, it would be hard to call the old daysbetter times. Cheaper times, yes. If you go back far enough, you can probably find a timewhen you could buy a pound of skunk weed for fitty cent, a bottle of Coke for a penny,or maybe even a paint pony for an eagle feather, but there are down sides to everything.You would probably have had to get the skunk weed from and old hippie who smelled likepatchouli and dried urine and had brown teeth and a case of toenail fungus that belongedin a science exhibit. The paint pony would probably come complete with a smallpox ladensaddle blanket, and the Coke, while refreshing, would be spiked with actual cocaine, whicheveryone knows is a gateway drug to being a huge asshole. Old Austin however (that beingthe Austin you weren’t around for) had its pluses. For instance, back in the day there wereno douches. This is not to say there weren’t self-important, nugget jewelry wearing, beautysalon mullet rocking, T-top Camaro driving douche bags. Yes, there were. But mostlythey were called pricks, dickheads, and assholes, and they mostly hung out at places likeConfettis or the Roxy on East Riverside. Really, every town needs a disco – if only to actas flypaper for all the fronters trying to work their game. Otherwise, their impact wouldbe more immediately felt. It’s bad enough to have a couple of Hummers (the modern-dayequivalent of the T-top Firebird) parked across two spaces at the H-E-B, but imagine awhole parking lot full of them. How about a few tables of obnoxious cigar smokers at yourlocal coffeehouse? You get the picture. Fortunately, back in the old days there were plenty ofplaces holding down the other end of the scale – places where pretense got checked at thedoor. Perhaps the least pretentious of all was the Austin Outhouse. As you can imagine, abar named after a shitter probably isn’t too concerned with the social status of its clientele.That’s what made the Austin Outhouse such a special place. It took all comers, not onlyregarding its clientele but its booking policy as well. On any given night you could seeanything from youthful avant punk to leather-skinned Texas songwriters, and through it all,the scenery never changed: wood paneling festooned with old license plates, band stickersand assorted memorabilia, a few neon beer signs, wooden tables, a motley assortment ofquestionably homeless looking people permanently installed at the bar, a few dogs, and agenuinely wonderful guy named Ed running the place who would occasionally get up onstage and play a mean harmonica. Was it better than anything we have these days? Maybenot, but it was pretty damned good back then – reason enough for a celebration too. Thisweekend at a similarly unpretentious bar out on Manchaca Road called Giddy Ups, they’rehosting a star-studded Austin Outhouse Reunion with a whole bunch of old-timers and afew new ones thrown in as well. People like: Calvin Russell, the Rhythm Rats, Lost JohnCasner, Gurf Morlix, Lloyd Maines, Ted Roddy, Shelley King, Terri Hendrix, Herman theGerman, Leti de la Vega, and many others. Proceeds benefit the Health Alliance for AustinMusicians and Save the Cactus Cafe. Think about it this way: You may never have a betterreason to go to Manchaca Road.