House Instructions of Mr. Yan (Yanshi Jiaxun) - Asia for Educators ...

Primary Source Document, with Que stions (DBQ) onEXC ERPTS FRO M HOUSE INSTRUCTIONS OF MR. YA N (YA NSHI JIAXUN)awe‐inspiringrulersatcourt.Theygaveusgoodadvice,askedaboutourparticularinterests,criticized our defects and encouraged our good points ‐‐ alwayszealous and sincere. When Iwasjustnineyearsold,myfatherdied.Thefamilymembersweredividedandscattered,everyone of us living in dire straits. I was brought up by my loving brothers; we went throughhardshipsanddifficulties.Theywerekindbutnot exacting;theirguidanceandadvicetomewerenotstrict.ThoughIreadtheritualtexts,andwassomewhatfondofcomposition,Itendedtobeinfluenced bycommonpractices;Iwasuncontrolledinfeelings,carelessinspeech,andslovenlyindress.WhenabouteighteenornineteenyearsoldIlearnedtorefinemyconductalittle, but these bad habits had become second nature, and it was difficult to get rid of thementirely.Aftermythirtiethyeargrossfaultswerefew,butstillIhavetobecarefulalways,forineveryinstancemywordsareatoddswithmymind,andmyemotionsstrugglewithmynature.EacheveningIamconsciousofthefaultscommittedthatmorning,andtodayIregrettheerrorsofyesterday.Howpitifulthatthelackofinstructionhasbroughtmetothiscondition!Iwouldrecalltheexperiencesofmyyouthlongago,fortheyareengravedonmyfleshandbone;theseare not merely the admonitions of ancient books, but what has passed before my eyes andreachedmyears.ThereforeIleavethesetwentychapterstoserveasawarningtoyouboys.InstructingChildrenThose of the highest intelligence will develop without being taught; those of great stupidity,eveniftaught,willamounttonothing;thoseofmediumabilitywillbeignorantunlesstaught.Theancientsagekingshadrulesforprenataltraining.Womenwhenpregnantforthreemonthsmovedfromtheirlivingquarterstoadetachedpalacewheretheywouldnotseeunwholesomesights nor hear reckless words, and where the tone of music and the flavor of food werecontrolledbytherulesofdecorum[rites].Theseruleswerewrittenonjadetabletsandkeptinagoldenbox.Afterthechildwasborn,imperialtutorsfirmlymadeclearfilialpiety,humaneness,therites,andrightnesstoguideandtrainhim.The common people are indulgent and are unable to do this. But as soon as a baby canrecognize facial expressions and understand approval and disapproval, training should bebegunsothathewilldowhatheistoldtodoandstopwhensoordered.Afterafewyearsofthis,punishmentwiththebamboocanbeminimized,asparentalstrictnessanddignitymingledwithparentallovewillleadtheboysandgirlstoafeelingofrespectandcautionandgiverisetofilialpiety.Ihavenoticedaboutmethatwherethereismerelylovewithouttrainingthisresultis never achieved. Children eat, drink, speak, and act as they please. Instead of neededprohibitionstheyreceivepraise;insteadofurgentreprimandstheyreceivesmiles.Evenwhenchildrenareoldenoughtolearn,suchtreatmentisstillregardedasthepropermethod.Onlyafterthechildhasformedproudandarroganthabitsdotheytrytocontrolhim.Butonemaywhip the child to death and he will still not be respectful, while the growing anger of theparentsonlyincreaseshisresentment.Afterhegrowsup,suchachildbecomesatlastnothingbut a scoundrel. Confucius was right in saying, “What is acquired in infancy is like originalnature;whathasbeenformedintohabitsisequaltoinstinct.”Acommonproverbsays,“Trainawifefromherfirstarrival;teachasoninhisinfancy.”Howtruesuchsayingsare!Asia for E duca tors | Columbia University | http ://afe.easia.columbia.edu Page 3 of 6

Primary Source Document, with Que stions (DBQ) onEXC ERPTS FRO M HOUSE INSTRUCTIONS OF MR. YA N (YA NSHI JIAXUN)Generallyparents’inabilitytoinstructtheirownchildrencomesnotfromanyinclinationjusttoletthemfallintoevilwaysbutonlyfromparents’beingunabletoendurethechildren’slooks[of unhappiness] from repeated scoldings, or to bear beating them, lest it do damage to thechildren’sphysicalbeing.Weshould,however,takeillnessbywayofillustration:howcanwenotusedrugs,medicines,acupuncture,orcauterytocureit?Shouldwethenviewstrictnessofreproofandpunishmentasaformofcrueltytoone’sownkithandkin?Trulythereisnootherwaytodealwithit.…As for maintaining proper respect between father and son, one cannot allow too muchfamiliarity; in the love among kin, one cannot tolerate impoliteness. If there is impoliteness,thenparentalsolicitudeisnotmatchedbyfilialrespect;ifthereistoomuchfamiliarity,itgivesrisetoindifferenceandrudeness.Someone has asked why Chen Kang [a disciple of Confucius] was pleased to hear thatgentlemenkepttheirdistancefromtheirsons,andtheansweristhatthiswasindeedthecase;gentlemendidnotpersonallyteachtheirchildren[because,asYangoesontoshow,therearepassagesintheclassicsofasexualkind,whichitwouldnotbeproperforafathertoteachhissons.]…Intheloveofparentsforchildren,itisrarethatonesucceedsintreatingthemequally.Fromantiquitytothepresenttherearemanycasesofthisfailing.Itisonlynaturaltolovethosewhoarewiseandtalented,butthosewhoarewaywardanddullalsodeservesympathy.Partialityintreatment,evenwhendoneoutofgenerousmotives,turnsoutbadly.…BrothersAfter the appearance of humankind, there followed the conjugal relationship; the conjugalrelationshipwasfollowedbytheparental;theparentalwasfollowedbythefraternal.Withinthefamily,thesethreearetheintimaterelationships.Theotherdegreesofkinshipalldevelopoutofthesethree.Thereforeamonghumanrelationshipsonecannotbuttakethese[three]mostseriously.…Whenbrothersareatoddswitheachother,thensonsandnephewswillnotloveeachother,andthisinturnwillleadtothecousinsdriftingapart,resultingfinallyintheirservantstreatingoneanotherasenemies.Whenthishappensthenstrangerscanstepontheirfacesandtrampleupontheirbreastsandtherewillbenoonetocometotheiraid.Therearemenwhoareabletomakefriends with distinguished men of the empire, winning their affection, and yet are unable toshow proper respect toward their own elder brothers. How strange that they should succeedwiththemanyandfailwiththefew!Thereareotherswhoareabletocommandtroopsinthethousands and inspire such loyalty in them that they will die willingly for them and yet areunable to show kindness toward their own younger brothers. How strange that they shouldsucceedwithstrangersandfailwiththeirownfleshandblood!…Asia for E duca tors | Columbia University | http ://afe.easia.columbia.edu Page 4 of 6

Primary Source Document, with Que stions (DBQ) onEXC ERPTS FRO M HOUSE INSTRUCTIONS OF MR. YA N (YA NSHI JIAXUN)FamilyGovernanceBeneficial influences are transmitted from superiors to inferiors and bequeathed by earlier tolatergenerations.Soifafatherisnotloving,thesonwillnotbefilial;ifanelderbrotherisnotfriendly, the younger will not be respectful; if a husband is not just, the wife will not beobedient.Whenafatheriskindbutthesonrefractory,whenanelderbrotherisfriendlybuttheyoungerarrogant,whenahusbandisjustbutawifeoverbearing,thenindeedtheyarethebadpeopleoftheworld;theymustbecontrolledbypunishments;teachingandguidancewillnotchange them. If rod and wrath are not used in family discipline, the faults of the son willimmediatelyappear.Ifpunishmentsarenotproperlyawarded,thepeoplewillnotknowhowtoact.Theuseofclemencyandseverityingoverningafamilyisthesameasinastate.Confuciussaid,“Extravaganceleadstoinsubordination,andparsimonytomeanness.Itisbettertobemeanthantobeinsubordinate.” 1 Againhesaid,“ThoughamanhasabilitiesasadmirableasthoseoftheDukeofZhou,yetifhebeproudorniggardly,thoseotherthingsarereallynotworthbeinglookedat.” 2 Thatistosay,amanmaybethriftybutshouldnotbestingy.Thriftmeansbeingfrugalandeconomicincarryingouttherites;stinginessmeansshowingnopityforthoseinpovertyandurgentneed.Nowadaysthosewhowouldgivealmsareextravagant,butinbeingthriftyarestingy.Itwouldbepropertogivealmswithoutextravaganceandbethriftywithoutbeingstingy.…Awifeinpresidingoverhouseholdsuppliesshouldusewine,food,andclothingonlyastheritesspecify.Justasinthestate,wherewomenarenotallowedtoparticipateinsettingpolicies,sointhefamily,theyshouldnotbepermittedtoassumeresponsibilityforaffairs.Iftheyarewise, talented, and versed in the ancient and modem writings, they ought to help theirhusbands by supplementing the latter’s deficiency. No hen should herald the dawn lestmisfortunefollow.…Theburdenofdaughtersonthefamilyisheavyindeed.YethowelsecanHeavengivelifetotheteemingpeopleandancestorspassontheirbodilyexistencetoposterity?Manypeopletodaydislikehavingdaughtersandmistreattheirownfleshandblood.HowcantheybelikethisandstillhopeforHeaven’sblessing?…Itiscommonforwomentodoteonason‐in‐lawandtomaltreatadaughter‐in‐law.Dotingonason‐in‐lawgivesrisetohatredfrombrothers;maltreatingadaughter‐in‐lawbringsonslanderfromsisters.Thuswhenthesewomen,whethertheyactorremainsilent,drawcriticismfromthemembersofthefamily,itisthemotherwhoistherealcauseofit.… 1Analects7:35.2Analects8:11.Asia for E duca tors | Columbia University | http ://afe.easia.columbia.edu Page 5 of 6

Primary Source Document, with Que stions (DBQ) onEXC ERPTS FRO M HOUSE INSTRUCTIONS OF MR. YA N (YA NSHI JIAXUN)Asimplemarriagearrangementirrespectiveofsocialpositionwastheestablishedruleofourancestor Qing Hou. 3 Nowadays there are those who sell their daughters for money or buy awoman with a payment of silk. They compare the rank of fathers and grandfathers, andcalculateinouncesanddrams,demandingmoreandofferingless,justasifbargaininginthemarket.Undersuchconditionsaboorishson‐in‐lawmightappearinthefamilyoranarrogantwomanassumepowerinthehousehold.Covetinghonorandseekingforgain,onthecontrary,incurshameanddisgrace;howcanonenotbecareful? 3QingHouwastheposthumousnameofYinZhitui’sninth‐generationancestor.HisnamewasYanHan.Asia for E duca tors | Columbia University | http ://afe.easia.columbia.edu Page 6 of 6