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The Big Breach - Index of

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<strong>The</strong> <strong>Big</strong> <strong>Breach</strong>; From Top Secret to Maximum SecurityCompliments <strong>of</strong> http://www.192.com`You must know the answer to that, surely?' I replied.`Dunno,' he shouted back.As soon as we were unlocked, I grabbed my half-full phone card, twoTwixes, and a tube <strong>of</strong> custard creams, and dashed over to Onion-head'scell, where he was having a cup <strong>of</strong> tea with Dobson. `Arright, Rich?' heasked. `How's the fraggle, did he burp his worm last night?'`Shut up, you bastard,' I replied with a smile. `Onion-head, you gotany tobacco?'`What's up, Rich?' jeered Dobson. `You tekkin' up smokin', it's thatbad is it?'I dumped the phone card, Twixes and custard creams on Onion-head's bed.`I'll swap you all that for an ounce <strong>of</strong> tobacco and five Rizlas.'Onion-head's eyes lit up - it was a good swap - and he handed me theremains <strong>of</strong> a pouch <strong>of</strong> Golden Virginia with a few papers.Back in the cell after breakfast I asked Stonley if he would like asmoke. He glared at me suspiciously. It was perhaps the first timeanybody had <strong>of</strong>fered him anything since coming into prison. I producedthe pouch and papers, and pushed them over to him. `<strong>The</strong>y're yours, Idon't smoke.'He studied them suspiciously for a few seconds, like a stray cat whohas been given a tempting morsel by a stranger, then pounced, expertlycrafting a rollie and lighting up. As soon as the cell was nicely full<strong>of</strong> smoke, I got up and pushed the `room service' bell to call a screw.It was supposed only to be used in emergencies and I risked getting aday down the block for its abuse. Mr Richards arrived a few minuteslater to investigate. `Tomlinson, what do you want?' he askedimpatiently through the perspex window.`Mr Richards, you never told me Stonley was a smoker.'Mr Richards looked at me quizzically. `So what?' he asked.`Prison regulation 12a,' I replied, `A non-smoking prisoner cannot beforced to share a cell with a smoking prisoner against his wishes.'Mr Richards glared back at me for a moment. `Tomlinson, I'll `ave youone day,' he replied, exasperated. But he knew he was beaten. Mostprisoners didn't know about the rule, but my study <strong>of</strong> the prisonregulation book during associations had paid <strong>of</strong>f. `OK, get your stuff,cell 8 on the first landing is free.' Mr Richards held the door openwhile I bundled my stuff back together and escorted me up to my newhome, a single cell.Early in January, Belmarsh received a visit from the `Health and Safetyat Work' inspection teams. When we were unlocked to queue for lunch thespur and hotplate area had been plastered with signs warning us <strong>of</strong>dangers. By the stairs was a neat sign announcing, `Caution: SteepStairs'. Around the hotplate notices warned us, `Caution: HotSurfaces'. It was absurd to pretend that these presented serioushazards to our wellbeing, when we were cooped up in such confines withpage- 192 - To purchase the original limited edition hardback version <strong>of</strong> this bookplease call 08000 192 192 or go to http://www.192.com

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